How Did This Pro Bodybuilder Turn So Much Pain Into Purpose?

Antonio Smothers opens up about his extraordinary journey, from winning his first pro bodybuilding show and preparing for the Olympia stage, to facing unimaginable personal challenges that shaped his life. At the heart of his story is the wrongful murder conviction of his father in a 1980s cold case murder, a devastating event that turned Antonio’s world upside down and tested his resilience.

Through the trials of family trauma, judgment, depression, and legal battles, Antonio found strength in bodybuilding, discipline, and his faith in God. His story is not just about muscle and competition, it’s about turning pain into purpose, building mental grit, and learning to serve others through struggle.

expect these takeaways:

1-How to transform pain, judgment, and ridicule into personal growth

2-The impact of his father’s wrongful conviction in a 1980s cold case murder

3-Why persistence, gratitude, and environment are the keys to lasting success

4-The role of faith, discipline, and self-awareness in overcoming adversity

5-How bodybuilding became therapy for trauma, depression, and panic attacks

6-Why serving others and finding healthy outlets leads to true fulfillment00:00 Intro

01:38 How 'Vibe with Humanity' Was Born

02:24 Creativity, Ideas & Content Creation

06:01 Training, Coaching & Personal Growth

07:56 Childhood, Family, and Early Struggles

17:13 Legal Battles & My Father’s Conviction

32:03 The Verdict That Changed My Life

32:31 Isolation, Faith & Lessons from COVID

33:19 The Appeal Process: Fighting for Justice

34:07 The Emotional Toll of a Parent’s Conviction

36:09 Coping with Depression & Leaning on Faith

45:23 The Power of Self-Talk & Mindset Shifts

50:04 Bodybuilding as Therapy for Pain

55:31 Why Environment Matters More Than Talent

58:00 Letting Go, Letting God, and Moving Forward

59:55 Final Reflections & Words of Wisdom#survivorstory

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
This year I won my first pro show and I'm going to the
biggest Bible show in the world in 12 weeks.
I'm here with athlete #11 Antonio Smothers from
Sacramento, CA. I've never forgotten that moment
of having to deal with getting Judge ridiculed and when it came
to bodybuilding. And you know, those moments help
build the person that you see today When you get off of the
stage, who are you? What's your purpose?

(00:21):
Are you serving people? Are you taking?
My father got convicted of a cold case murder of a chick he
dated in 1984. No, no smoking gun weapon, no
nothing. Was there any part of you that
thought maybe he didn't? What is the biggest blessing in
disguise from the situation withyour dad?
What do you think this is for? People don't have a relationship

(00:41):
with themselves. You know how people get so
agitated and insecure and all these things because we're
comparing, right? I know I've met people on the I
don't know what I have. What do you mean you're not
willing to really look at yourself with it?
You're not willing to really take yourself for all your work?
There's so many people on this planet, man, that have no idea
how special they truly are, haveno idea how how much impact they

(01:02):
can really give people. How do you think people can
start to examine themselves likethat process of finding what
you're good at naturally? I'm glad this happened and so
quick, dude, I respect your willingness.
And you're like, hey, let's do it.
And and here we are. And I remember you were just
like, yeah, I got, I got, I got stuff to say, you know, So I'd,

(01:25):
I appreciate that, dude. Yeah, so we'll let him get.
He talks to me about it. I'm tired of it, dude.
That's what my wife said. She's like, you need a podcast
just so I don't have to hear it anymore.
That's so funny. Is that how it came about by the
way? No.
So it came. Long story short, my she's good
now but my daughter got cancer at 10 and it was like not that

(01:45):
one. The older one she's cuts it
around somewhere. She's clear now a couple
operations but there was a shortperiod in that time for like 5
days where we thought she wasn'tgoing to make it and we're just
out town walking around like doing our thing and nobody has
any idea. We're smiling and my wife and I
got home and we're like, dude, how many people are carrying
around stuff like this that we don't ever get to hear from that

(02:08):
would make that would give otherpeople hope and and blow their
minds. So she just goes, you're going
to start a podcast. It's called Vibe with Humanity.
I'm like, wait, what? She just.
Just like the she has that whatever, wherever ideas come
from, she's got that gift like she can just sit down.
It is. I believe that now there's A and
so I think that there's a collective consciousness.

(02:28):
We're all connected and I think there's a couple ways to access
it. Holy Spirit or everything else.
And Isaac, dude, I did everything else for the years.
It's confusing. You never feel like you have
firm direction, solid footing. And now I realize I'm actually
not the guy to get ideas. My brain's too loud.
I can't sift through them on theworkhorse.

(02:48):
So my wife just tells me what the next move is.
I'm like alright, cool. We have a.
We have a, there's a, there's a picture I have in my house and I
just kept it for years. It's you know what I want to
just get from like TJ Maxx, You know, the way they put in your
bathroom or something? Yes, but it's one of the most
powerful ones I have because it's it's creativity is magic.
Creativity, that is not what I thought.
So yeah, you know, my brother Miles, yeah.

(03:10):
So he's into content creation and just always slamming out new
ideas and I'm like, what are these people doing?
How do they get, how are they just constantly thinking of this
stuff? Well, yeah, I don't think they
are. I think it's being gifted, you
know, and it's from one of two sources.
Holy Spirit or everything else and and again.

(03:31):
Like we're talking about you have your, your inspirations,
right? You have the things that you're,
that you're watching and learning from.
And then you, I mean, you have to know yourself.
Like know thyself. Yeah.
And so when it comes to if you know what your gifts are and you
know what you bring to the tableand you know what's going to be
like, I think what Robert Green would always say it's, it's
always good to also know what people see on the other side.

(03:53):
People. Why is why is so focused on what
we see and everyone else? What about, have you ever
reversed it and thought, what are, what are they saying when
they look at me, when they look at my Instagram?
What are, what are they? They say the top, the top three
rows, they're going to get a collective idea of who you are.
And just those and just those nine slides, those 9 posts,
those 3 rows are going to determine what they think about

(04:13):
who you are. Like pinning them and stuff.
Just yeah, those, those, just those first, those first 3 rows
you have that, that that's all they need.
OK, that's who they are. Quick.
Right. That's crazy, right?
So it's kind of like, so I always, I always let let my lady
know and I, I always am very conscious of, of what are they
saying in me. And it helps me because it

(04:35):
actually gives me, it's an open book test because like, OK, you
look at me, he goes like black buff.
He's buying a douche. Like he probably ain't, you
know, he probably annoy, you know, whatever you're thinking.
And so I'll use that against youand, and be like, I used to have
these shoes, Michael Vick's shoes, and on the inside of the
flap of the strappy said be unexpected.

(04:55):
And I took that to heart. I was like, always be
unexpected. Be more than what they see and
what they think. So I'm using it against you.
When you look at me, you're like, you're summing me up.
I can tell. Again, I like, oh, you're yeah,
yeah, yeah. I know how to talk to you.
You. Start with talking words, you
know, they're like, Oh my goodness.
You know, he's like prognosis. Oh, he's smart.
What's your favorite way to like, give people the

(05:16):
unexpected? What's big words?
Being funny. What is it funny?
Being funny? That is when.
Oh, yeah. I think, I think humor whenever
you ask a question, you know, sometimes you have Ice Breakers,
like so like if you had a superpower, what would it be?
Right. Mine would be I.
My superpower would be to be able to make everyone laugh
because I think laughter is is acure for healing.

(05:38):
Right. For sure, dude.
Serotonin, dopamine, oxytocin. Like it's a it has a physical
effect. Yeah.
And then, like you ever watch someone lose control of himself
in laughter, Of course. You don't even know what it is.
You laugh. You don't know him.
You you're trying to suppress it.
Exactly. And somebody saw infectious
laugh. Oh my gosh, no infectious laugh.
I can't stand an infectious laugh because I have to start
laughing. I'm like, stop laughing because

(05:59):
it's such a good laugh. Oh, goodness.
So, dude, what do you do now? Your profile's sick, by the way.
Dude, you compete in bodybuilding.
Clearly you part of what do you do?
Yeah. Now it's personal training and
then, well, personal training more so online.
I still do in person, but more so online.
And then also I, me and my dad been doing property real estate
management for a while. So he kind of raised me in that

(06:20):
business. And so since I was in high
school, you know, I've been actually more like junior high.
But when people have summers, you know, if we're going to go
to the pool of the lake, right, I'm painting houses.
Yeah. Plumbing, that was.
Awesome. Then football was starting to
like, all right, well, that was a great summer.
But yeah, but but now it's just that it's really property, real
estate management, posing, coaching.
I do coaching with people as faras their their diets, you know,

(06:42):
and then of course, lifting. That's my number one.
I really love training because Ithink so much science behind it.
And to watch the body be under certain types of stress.
There's so many different type of ways you can, you know,
manipulate the workout. I just love.
That must be interesting to see,like people's mental grit, too.
Like some people are like, oh, you're going to try again, You
know, you can't, but you're going to go for it.
Other people are like, dude, yougot five more and you sit down,

(07:04):
you know? Absolutely.
And and how and how, right, Justlike in life, when you hit that
wall is it is your like, right? Is your body able to still go or
is your mind telling you can't? And I love that, right.
There's a guy named Dorian Yates, one of the greatest
Bibles of all time, and he says,I would pretend like there was
someone with a gun put at my family.

(07:26):
And if I don't get these last reps this last.
Exactly. Intense, right?
Intense. But everyone has a different
level. But that was his.
He's like, if I'm up against it,And I used to joke with my
clients, I say if, if I said if I'm like, OK, go for two more,
right. And like, I can, I said, do
yeah, I got $1000 in cash in front of you.
Yep. Bet you could do those two reps,
huh? Yep.
So it's like little things like that to just make people realize

(07:48):
that they can go much further than than obviously they can
think they can. They can, though.
Yeah. I love doing that, though.
So. Yeah.
Training. Dude, so I I didn't know much
about you in high school. What was your childhood like?
Where are you from? For majority of my youth in
beginning moving around all through North Cal started born
in Vallejo. I went to Oakland.
My father and I were moving around because my father, well,

(08:13):
me too. My mother, my father and I,
we're all in a car accident. I flew from the vehicle 8 months
old onto the freeway and my father, my mother jumped out of
the vehicle and she has a permanent bruise on her left
side of her cheek because of it.And then my father was in the
Corvette. It was, you know, Corvette 80s.
You know, we didn't have, we didn't think about putting a kid
in a seat belt, you know, whatever it's too, you know,

(08:35):
whatever. So with that being said, my
father spun in the vehicle twiceand on the second spin or second
flip, flipped. Yeah, flipped twice.
On the second flip, drunk driverhit us from behind.
On that second flip, he snapped his spinal cord.
And when he snapped his spinal cord, you know, that that
changed the trajectory of all ofour lives.
You know, my mother, father and I, you know, they've known each

(08:57):
other since they were eight years old.
They were next door neighbors and so.
That he's paralyzed, right? I've been paralyzed my whole
life as far as my Marie serves, you know, so and my mother, like
I said, they grew up in Oakland,East Oakland, and they
unfortunately divorced. And my mother, that was kind of
the beginning of, you know, we talked about what shapes you

(09:20):
right? And then your conditioning and
your programming when you're young.
That is the beginning of where trauma began for me around that
time period. I was how old were you?
Oh, man, 3-4, you know, from thetime my dad would let me know
early. Hey, Antonio, you know, your
mother's this way. You know, he would kind of warn

(09:40):
me. He would.
And then my dad told had a lot of pain because of the accident.
Mother, my mother left my fatherand he, she left him because of
in fact, he was, he now was paralyzed, you know, and you
left, you left. She had two, two children by two
other individuals, which is fine.
My dad took that on, you know, later in life and my dad was in
love with my mother forever and he took that on and he wanted to

(10:03):
have children with her. And here I come, awesome.
My dad's first child, 26 years old, and then he takes on
responsibility of two other men's children, you know, at a
certain point in time. And then we get in a car
accident And now you leave my father.
Not only do you leave my father,you, you try to enter my dad's
bank accounts. Not only do you do that, you
also sleep with another man. My dad can hear upstairs who's

(10:25):
paralyzed as he's downstairs listening, right?
So this is the life I had to live.
And you left your obviously yourson.
Now that would create just rage.Man, right.
So my father growing up, a lot of times growing up throughout
elementary, throughout preschool, all those years, I
was painted a picture of a very evil woman, a very just a very
self-centered woman that was really all about I.

(10:50):
And it took a while to really understand that Nicole, that
that's one person's perspective and certain, you know,
experience with that person. But it, it always ended up being
a very hurtful and, and even more traumatic thing when they,
when she'd come in and out of mylife younger, right?
Because then she'd do things to prove them right, right.

(11:10):
Like, for instance, I'll never forget this, you know, my again,
followers in a wheelchair, everything he does takes time,
right? So when my mother says, Hey,
it's Christmas, you know, I havea gift for you at the house, you
know, come pick it up. I'm not going to be there.
You know, we live in Vacaville at the time, which is what,
about maybe 30 minutes away fromwhere she lived in Fairfield.
We get in the car, we got to go go over there.
As we approach the house, you know, it's all dark.

(11:32):
No, no worries. You said there's a present
underneath the whatever. We go, I get out the car, go to
her doorstep. There's money supposed to be
underneath the the mat. Open up the mat.
There's no money there. OK.
I go back to my dad with that teary eyed look, right?
And he just can't stand it. He's, you know, you know,
because he's the one that's that's been with me.
I'm the one that been with him and I help my father.

(11:53):
Basically, we all have a, you know, there's a reason for
everything. Everything happens for a reason.
My father's reason for living was me because my mother used to
always say I let your father have custody of you.
No, my dad fought for that because he knew you were a
shitty ass parent. He knew that.
So my father said no matter comehell of high water wheelchair
not he's going to be with me. And so my father always made

(12:18):
sure we live in San Lorenzo, CA.We used to I used to be on my
dad's wheelchair, right. We used to go a few miles all
the way to the grocery store outthere, used to go to Bayfair
Mall there in San Lorenzo, come back.
We used to feed the ducks. We fed the ducks so many times
at the park. We actually were putting the
paper for it. Yeah, we actually were putting
the paper and they. Found out, so he's just spending
time. I'm just built.

(12:38):
I love that man. And that's my example.
So as much as there was trauma there, you know, there's so much
there later that I look back andgo, no, that's, that's why I'm
this kind of person. That's why I'm, I'm, I treat
things this way. That's why I have so much
gratitude. My dad taught me from jump God
and gratitude. You know, he never I've never I
felt too high about something. He always let me know, hey, you

(12:59):
know, this could all end. Look, look at like just look
here in the situation. It can all you got to be
grateful for every moment from the time my dad wakes up.
It's it's difficult just to get up to go to the bathroom.
Doesn't you know, just get up togo to the bathroom.
Imagine got to roll over, hop into the chair.
It's all and he he maintains an attitude of gratitude.

(13:22):
Absolutely. That's crazy.
Absolutely, and we all have our moments.
But yes, for the most part, my father is grateful for
everything. Everything I remember that about
him. I, I would, you know, he, he'd
come to the practices and stuff.He would play ball and Yep, he's
just kicking in with the dudes and good attitude, positive,
smiling, cheering the kids on. And I'm like, man, absolutely.
It had an impact on me. I remember, I remember just

(13:43):
thinking, how can why isn't he letting that bother him?
Like clearly he he's not. It takes him longer to do things
and he doesn't care. He's still you.
Leave earlier, he'll be late like he does.
What's your relationship with your mom like now?
If they're do you have? One complicated and and I I bet
when I turned 18, I tried to to let it all go OK, I'm going to

(14:05):
I'm going to let all these things go.
I'm going to try to be a better a better son or, you know, that,
that, that son that tries to, you know, mend the the
relationship. And she just kept proving I'm
after time my dad right in little ways, little ways.
And, you know, unfortunately my dad would always get irritated

(14:29):
when I go there. But and I he told me said, Hey,
you know, you're going to learn with your mother.
You'll learn like, oh, no, you know, it'll be fine.
I'm older now, right? 18, I'm older now.
I know, yeah. 18's old. Yeah, crazy.
So it just, it just it's, you know, once I got a car, I would
go visit her sometimes. And we had a, we had a, what
seemed like a decent relationship.

(14:49):
But even when I was younger, Trevor, even I was younger
throughout my childhood growing up.
And then when I did get older, Istarted evolving as an adult.
I was always my mother. Out of the three children, my
mother exploited me. I was the son by the husband
that she had the most success with, the husband who had the
most success. He's the son that has the most

(15:12):
promise and potential. So every.
Time and took credit for that. My mom would have parties and I
was the child that was exploitedall the time.
I was always on display. So from a young age, you know,
you know, we tend to God breeds us and breeds us and conditions
us for things later in life. Mine was always having eyes on
me, being able to be judged, be stereotyped.

(15:34):
All these things started real young for me with just having
from the time 8 months old, we have a story about us.
My life started with drama and it started with with people
knowing the inside workings of my life.
You know what I mean? It's it's something that that my
mother would do so much that it just, it made it shy me away
from when I come over there sometimes because I know it's
going to be put on display. So you were thrown from a car at

(15:58):
8 months? Like, do you have injuries?
None. Miracles.
Baby. Wow, how far from the car do you
know? Do you guys have details?
Like that, that I don't know howfar.
Well, I know that's from the time.
Of the eight months, yeah. Rear, Rear, yeah, let's call it.
We got hit obviously in the backfrom the rear.
We were rear-ended and I know I flew onto the the shoulder.

(16:23):
So far enough. Far enough, you know.
Wow. Yeah, man.
He's got plans for you. This is wow, that's so.
Crazy. Like I said, he remind me all
the time, you know, you're you're built for more.
You're here for more. So was there ever a time that
you thought maybe my dad's not right about my mom?
Is it? Did that motivate you?
Yeah, child, I'm a kid. You know, no, you're not right

(16:44):
about this and I'll find out on my own.
And again, we what's, what's funny about life is that you,
until you bump your own head, figure it out for yourself,
you'll never know, right? I had to learn on my own.
So that's exactly what happened.And I'm happy it did.
I mean, now we had the best three years.

(17:05):
I could tell you about that as well.
But we had a good connection forthree years.
When you were 18 and you went. No, no, no.
Actually, during COVID, from actually from 2018 to 2021,
because my father got convicted of a cold case murder of a chick
he dated in 1984. And they took my anchor from me.

(17:27):
Yeah. Yeah.
Costra, Contra Costa County. You messed up.
And you know you messed up when you took my dad because that's
why he's out now, right? Yeah.
Oh. Really.
Oh yeah, Yeah. Got life.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. They, they took, they took him.
Imagine being at the Olympia, our biggest bodybuilder show.
Imagine 2016. I'm at the Olympia.

(17:50):
My dad now on the phone Thursdaybefore the event.
The Expo and everything takes place on a Friday 'cause it's
play. Do Friday.
Saturday it was the night before.
Hey, how you doing? You know how you been?
Oh, I'm good. And Tony, I'm good.
You know, whatever. Expo starts tomorrow.
OK, Well, I love you. I'm out in Vegas.
He's back at home. Oh, yeah.
I'll talk to you, you know, nextweek when I get back.
All right. Cool, Dad.

(18:10):
No problem, right? I see in the next week.
Nobody tells me. Yeah, I got arrested out the
last week. You didn't call me.
You didn't tell me. Why'd you get arrested?
Oh, because they're taking bloodsamples for me periodically for
about 10 years. Because what happens when they
get a new DA in office? The new DA wants to try to get a
name for himself, so they try togo to cold case files and try to
bring him back. And try.
To solve old mysteries, right? So that's what they did.

(18:34):
They went to my my parents houseand my stepmom, you know,
wouldn't hurt to fly. Put her in an arm bar.
Like my dad was like, my dad wasEscobar or something like that.
Like El Chapo. Put my stepmom in an arm bar.
My dad's in the room here. My stepmom crying for help.
OK, They gotta wait again in thewheelchair.
Gotta wait for my dad. My dad's like, what you gonna
do? I can't get up like, because you
said so. So, yeah, gotta take him out.

(18:56):
How to put him in an ambulance truck to take him to Placer
County Jail. I didn't know.
None of this. None of this from that moment
on, yeah, we're we're pretty much in in trial.
We had to do 2 of them, but we had to had to endure some very

(19:18):
some very how would I say this troubling accusations from from
the from the, the, the the prosecution.
We had to endure a guy to live in my dad's neighborhood that
that made claims that my dad tried to hire him.
No, no evidence of that. Remember this is from 1984
right? This lady my dad dated didn't

(19:38):
work out. Unfortunately this lady what
happened. This lady lived in Richmond, CA
not the best neighborhood in theworld.
She had five kids. She was found on top of her bed
bloody with 30 something stabs, stabbings and one and her her
youngest child at the time was ababy was was underneath the bed
crying. My dad's DNA separate in the

(20:00):
bathroom, faded, faded DNA prints in like the sink and on
like a towel or something was there.
And so we're going to use that and say we're going to make
they're going to make a whole sort of that no, no smoking gun
weapon, no nothing. That the no, no.
How were they planning to link bathroom DNA to?
You OK? You know what it's called

(20:20):
conspiracy. That's all we had.
Conspiracy. You're a mastermind.
But the funny here's the Here's the other best part about that
My dad's got no speeding ticket to his name parking ticket.
Never drank or never smoked a day in his life.
Boy Scout. But he stabbed someone 30 times.
That's crazy. Or had someone else do it.
Yeah, wow, man. So so.

(20:41):
We have to go through that. How long did that trial go on
for? Two of them we went.
Well, yeah, the second was the the appeal, which is awesome,
but we had to go. And during this whole time I'm
bodybuilding to numb the pain. Yeah.
Because I couldn't endure that, I had to do something to make me
feel positive. And so during the beginning

(21:04):
stages of a beginning year, months of 2018, trial was about
close. It started fall because we got
to do we got to do a expedited my gosh testimony because some
guy lied and say that stage 4 lung cancer still alive to this
day, right. But he went, oh, he's going to
90 minutes. So but they're trying to get the
the defense on off, you know, off kilter, right.

(21:26):
So that started fall of 2017 andthen 2018 the real trial started
and that lasted about a good a good four weeks, 4 to 5 weeks
long enough. And like I'm in prep.
I'm driving from Sacramento to Martinez, CA during the
pretrial. I'm there during pretty much as
many hearings as I could. I actually ended up not

(21:46):
necessarily getting fired, but Idecided to choose my father and
my relationship with him like he.
Chose. You more more than when I worked
at lifetime fitness and they were cool with it, though,
because I told him like I'm not going to be able to make this.
I'm not like I know I'm supposedto work this many days that
that's the commitment. I get it, but I can only be here
when I can be here like I had no, and because we have no
definite like I'm going to miss this day and this day trials or

(22:07):
whatever, or during this time, the hearings, whenever.
So whenever I get the news during pretrial, that's what I'm
going to go as simple as that. I'm supporting every day, as
many days as I can. This is secondary.
You know, I'll suffer financially for the for the
support of my father. I don't give a damn that that'll
come later because he supported me.
So why the hell would I want to support him, right?
So, so during that time, it was tough, man.

(22:28):
I guess I'm trying to be on prep, trying to focus on this,
but it's the one way I was able to channel and compartmentalize,
right weight lifting. And I think that's what people,
you know, we have to find what, what can we do to still stay
productive. That's not drugs and alcohol.
That's not just what's your vice?
Yeah, a vice that can help you, not hurt you.
And that was that was mine. That was mine during that time,

(22:49):
man. And it was tough because when
they, you know, I feel for the family and everything they had
to go through because they had to, you know, they had to see
some pictures of and hear thingsabout their mother, you know,
and that's not cool. But at the same time, you know,
this is my father too, you know,this person that raised me, my
anchor. And you guys are you guys are
pointing a finger. And, and unfortunately, when I

(23:09):
heard them on the stand, you're making some really bold claims,
you know, some very, some very blasphemous marks about my
father and the things that he did to you and all these things.
But there's no, but there's no actual facts of this.
It's you're just damaging this man on the stand.
Connecting dots that aren't there.
You see what I'm saying and I got to hear this and then the

(23:30):
worst part, Trevor, is I was. I would say the worst part
though, is at this time, this was 2018.
I am 30 years old, 30 years old and first time I've had a panic
attack and how I had a panic attack was, you know, you know,
it's funny. No, I'm sorry, but I thought
panic acts were for white people.

(23:50):
I didn't think it was black people.
I was like, I was like, look, panic attacks.
That's a white thing. I know.
I never what what what is a panic?
Attack. That's for Steven, like, right?
Walking out the house is a panicattack being black, right?
It's the way it is. I'm like, so I'm like, I'm like
panic attack, right. What is that?
And so when they when we got theverdict right and.

(24:11):
And this was the first trial. Guilty, yes, right, yes, yes.
We got that first. We got that, got that, we had to
come, you know, come in. And I never forget when they
said guilty. Never forget that feeling, you
know, because it's just, it's the culmination of everything
you've ever dealt it just, you know, it all just comes to you,

(24:33):
you know, full speed ahead, lightning speed of everything
you've ever had with this personand then their backs to you.
I can't even see my dad's fucking face.
All I all I can see is your posture, your head down.
You know the body language. I can, I was just looking at
that shit and, and, and I'm hearing, you know, the, the, the

(24:53):
judge have to have to read off or they have to read the verdict
and you know, the judge having to tell my dad, you know,
everything's a blur after that. All you hear is guilty right of
conspiracy and, and life or whatever, or what he could
potentially be getting for sentencing, which is a whole
another story. And as we're, we're doing that,
I never forget. We walk out, my stepmom, my my
auntie, my, my uncle, both my uncles.

(25:15):
We walk out of the courtroom andI'm just sitting there just like
this with them respectfully around them.
But I don't want to be around anybody.
But we're there, you know, trying to collectively come
together and they're talking. We're talking.
I'm just kind of looking around.Uh huh.
OK, all right, guys, we love youand we'll, you know, trying to
miss whatever the next step is my mind just like get me the

(25:38):
fuck out of here. I don't want to be around any of
you, none of you, you know, noneof I don't, don't, don't touch
me. Don't look at me.
I don't want to be here. Right.
And from the from the courthousesteps out to my car was, was
about, I'd say maybe 2 football fields away, not very far.

(26:01):
And so I'm walking and as I get closer to my car, I would say
now I'm within like 30 feet. I can't breathe looking around
what then? Then it's just.
Then it, then it dawns. What?
Does it feel like does it feel like something's preventing your

(26:21):
lungs from opening like a physical?
Yes, and but then and then then the anxiety right of if if
everything just came full circleat all start rushing the fact
that now it's dawning on me. This is really happening.
He's you're not going to be ableto just call him whenever you
want. Now you're not going to just go

(26:42):
over to the house. Now you're not just going to
get, you know, an opportunity toto share moments whenever you
want to. Now you know it's now going to
be phone calls saying this is the Correctional Institute of
Stockton, CA, right? And then having to have these
punk ass bitch on the damn recording interrupted for like a
whole 30 to a minute long and you're trying to you only have

(27:03):
15 seconds and they interrupt the damn thing like 3 times.
Like that's three precious minutes that I just lost because
you want to keep telling people that we're on a phone call from
from correctional health facility.
Oh, and it lasts 15 seconds. Oh wow.
Like the fuck? We know who we're calling, you
know, so that that was it. I had the panic attack for the

(27:23):
first time ever in my life at 30years old and that was why.
And So what happened is you makeit to your car and.
I was, I, I got to the car and Ihad it in the car and we're,
we're just, we're flustered, youknow, we're flustered and it's,
it hit me like a ton of bricks, literally.
And like a ton of bricks, man. And that was the beginning of my

(27:45):
that I would, that would say. And by the way, just just a year
before that I get divorced. So I'm going through the last
the last phases of divorce. Grandfather passes away in May
of 2018. My dad hits me 3 days before.
Hey, talk to your grandfather. They haven't talked to him in a
while. OK, Dad.
Three days later, he dies. Wow, like intuition or

(28:08):
something? Then right after that, then dad
gets into the the legal troublesand now we're dealing with that
all 2018 and he was in the hospital. 27/20/18 was a shitty
year for him. But like, but, but see, but
here's where it's crazy here, Here's where, here's where
things get interesting. We not only have to deal with

(28:28):
that now, it's obviously the years later we're thinking life.
But you know what's funny, Trevor?
God, right, God, panic attack, anxiety hits all that.
I just had this funny fucking feeling and I'm cussing because
it's so passionate. I had a feeling I was like that
old stick. Oh, why Goose?

(28:50):
You know why? Because I'm like, I know who my
father is. Well.
I was like, forget me. Yeah.
So did OK, when you first heard,was there any part of you that
thought maybe he did it? Or did you just know he?
Didn't you know what's funny? When you said that, I actually
asked him like I was like, just straight up, hey, dad, I'm not
going to see you any differentlybecause you raised me and I got

(29:11):
everything from you. So what's up?
Is there any validity to this? No, son, there's no validity to
this. There.
There's smear. There's, there's smear in my
name. And how?
Was he acting? Was he calm and like faithful
and trying? To be very distraught, very
hurt, lost. I mean, he may not want me to
say this, but, you know, he was at home and it was a it was a

(29:36):
Wednesday and he got the I got acall from him at three, 3:30 PM
and I get a call from him and he's tired and he sounds like
he's out of breath. Hey, you OK?
I need you to come in right now.I need your help.
I fell and that's happened before.

(29:58):
But that's who wants to hear that as a child, right?
And but I that was normal. OK, shit.
I'm on my way. I'm at the gym.
I'm away. No problem.
Rush over to the house. Open the garage.
My father, mind you, that he's out of his wheelchair when I

(30:18):
open up the garage. He's sitting there, laid back,
wrenched. I'm thinking sweat, right?
Yeah. Phone's next to him now, the
phone in the garage, which is the one he grabbed, which is on
the there's two car garage, it'son the other side.
So you had to crawl just to go get that phone, drop it down to

(30:39):
call me, then you had to crawl all the way back to sit up on
that cabinet. Just take that in.
OK, First I opened it up. You're drenched.
You're exhausted. What the hell happened?
Look in my wheelchair, please. OK, Open the door.

(31:03):
Right. We open the garage door.
It's the door to the the backyard.
His wheelchair is right next to the pool.
You know, right before this happened, he got the news that
it was a quick verdict. They, they came to their

(31:24):
conclusion very fast. And most of the time right when
you get a quick one. Yeah.
It's not good. So I looked at I looked at the
the pool wheelchair father wet. Pool wheelchair father wet.
No. To this day, I never asked him

(31:45):
about it. Wow.
There's no need to ask about that.
You know what that was? You know what that was?
I don't got to ask about that. I don't got to ask about that.
That's. The he had to have gotten
himself out, right? Yeah.
You don't need to ask about that.
I feel you. You were in, you had a moment,
you had a moment. We all have them.
But you, you had, you really hada moment and whatever, whatever

(32:10):
happened in that moment with youand God, you got out.
Thank God for that. You got out and you were able to
live and look what happened. And you ended up enduring 3
years and then, you know, we gotthe appeal and then we're able
to get out. But what's funny, go ahead.
I'm sorry. No, keep going.

(32:31):
What's funny is that during the time he was in was 2020 and what
I tell him, I joke about this now with him.
I like, I joke about him in prison, right?
And I'm like, you know what's funny buddy, is that he has a
very low immune system because of the injury.
Now you're in prison, which means you're isolated from
everybody. And my father is so damn hard

(32:52):
headed. He would never listened when I
said stay inside. He would never listened.
He would have went out in the streets, blessing in disguise.
God set your ass over there in Stockton on purpose while the
world was having to do with COVID.
Wow. So by the time you got back out
October 20, 2120, on October 27th, you were good to go.

(33:15):
Yeah, the worst of us ever. Dang.
That's how I look at it. How did he what did the appeal
process look like? How did how did it end where
they're like, dude, you didn't do it, you, you can go.
Him and him and six him and fiveother people had a wrongful,
wrongful, wrongful or wrongful act like things wrong with their
their cases. Yeah, right and wrongful

(33:35):
convictions. Yep.
And yeah, our first lawyer, you know, you, you, you bet the
house on the first lawyer. Yeah.
And yeah, he, he fumble and then, you know, we had to go and
get the second lawyer. And, you know, they didn't they
my like when I told you my dad'sas clean as a whistle, they
didn't put my dad in the stand. If you could put OJ on the
stand, you could put my father on the stand.
He made the choice to not put myfather in the stand in the first

(33:57):
trial. So to the jury, he looks guilty.
He should have put him on the stand for sure.
You know, and that and that and that, that is something that I I
think was a huge mistake. And, and just a just a quick
backtrack. I hope people and I know they
deal with this and they go through it, but you have to
understand the love and how muchyou appreciate a parent.

(34:18):
Sometimes you don't realize until maybe they're dead and
gone or you see them ailing, youknow, in a bedridden or
something. Mine was that of.
Course. More so because when they're
doing the sentencing day and of course, like a movie, right, you
have everyone comes on their behalf to try to speak kind

(34:39):
things, to try to be leaning on the on the on the sentence right
to the to the judge. And I'm the last one.
Of course I'm I want to be late because I don't want to beat
her. I won't beat her, right?
I walk in last my stepmom went. I think someone else had to, you
know, said something. My auntie, my uncle, and I'm
last they had notes. I don't need no fucking notes.

(35:00):
I know who that man is. I don't need no fucking notes
about how to talk about him at all.
There's no notes needed. Thank God you're so.
Your strength is unbelievable. I'd be losing it right now if I
wasn't locked in with you. You're carrying me through this.
Well, it's just, it's just, you know, you, you again, man, you
just. But the worst part about that is
having to talk to a judge who's a stranger about a man that has

(35:24):
done everything for you and his backs to you, his backs to you.
He can't even turn around. He can't even see you.
You can't even see him. But I know how many times when I
was saying stuff was hitting them because I kept seeing this,
I kept seeing this. I kept, I kept just right.
I could feel it. We're connected.
That's my father. We're connect.

(35:44):
I'm a damn spitting image of him, you know?
And so when I'm speaking about this man and everything he's
done for me and how amazing he is, when the judge still says
fucking 25 to life. But you know why he had to say
25 to life? Because we're going by the
letter of the law in the 80s. Oh.
Nothing to do that's not even that's not even and he had to
say, he said, look, I have to goby the time when the crime was

(36:07):
what do you do right. But those those three years for
me while he was gone was maturation period, learned a
lot, a lot of mistakes. Mistakes in your personal life,
you mean? Oh my gosh, yes, yes, because my
anchor's gone right? Pissed away a shit ton of money
right trying to find trying to trying to fill that void, man
yes hole going to remember. I don't be my family.

(36:30):
Like I told you right before I got the the panic attack.
I didn't want to I didn't you know, and news calling me,
newspapers calling me other media outlets calling me our
names in a paper Dad getting bashed, you know, guy in
wheelchair, quadriplegic murderer, all kind of stuff
getting thrown out there, right.People do they're they're family

(36:50):
trying to sue us for assets. All kind of different things
going on. In the meantime, we got to stay
strong. But one, but a couple things I
did wrong. What you learn, you go to the
ones that that are that are thatare going through with you.
Because unfortunately, I was leaning towards people that had
no idea what to do. You know, they did they who also
been doing their own emotional traumas and problems.

(37:12):
And I can't put that on them because it was too much.
It's too much to ask, right, To try to tell you, Hey, I'm
hurting to the point I didn't know I was mildly depressed, had
to go to to therapy because I didn't realize I didn't know
depression. You know what?
I was mildly depressed, didn't even realize it, you know, and
all these different things that that that happened along the
way, mistakes that you make thatyou don't see in the moment

(37:36):
because you're you're in it, you're deep in it, right.
You know, like I said, trying tofill a void with women with,
with clothes. Boy, I got so many damn clothes
now from from then, still more money during then of clothes.
I'm like I don't need nothing. Else, but like at least three.
Years, seriously. But it's like I look back and
I'm like what? What was I doing?
Oh, I was doing a void. Voids, you know, many of them

(37:58):
trying to trying to find it through through women or you
know what that let love you knowthat's not that wasn't real love
on my end. Maybe theirs was wasn't mine
because I was I was, I was hurting, right?
I was hurting and I was asking alot from people that couldn't
fulfill what I needed. I needed to do that within
myself. And then that call to God, like

(38:18):
like you're talking about, we'retalking about that was a big
deal for me. You know my when.
Was that in that process? Always right been the child of
God, but but that was, I would say right before.
Oh yeah, and I didn't see my father all those years to the
very end. I couldn't get the and This is
why I bring this up. God, right, Everything happens

(38:41):
2018 or when he finally got in from 2018-2019 rejected.
Why didn't my paperwork out right?
Oh, OK, rejected. Tried again from 19 to 20 got
rejected again. Same kind of something else with
with with with they're very specific.
And I just, and I you know, and I, I put that wrong ad something
like each one was different and you have to wait a whole another

(39:03):
amount of months until they reply back.
It's all through mail at this point, right?
So all I have is the phone calls.
I was the last person to see them.
He see him during visits becauseCOVID hit.
So in 2020, on March 8th, I was the last 12 days of my birthday.
I'm the last person to see my father, right Until obviously he

(39:24):
was out. And that's a blessing in
disguise again, because when I needed it the most, when I
needed it the most, he granted me that wish to see him.
And for him, too. If we've never got one more
chance for that last next year to never see each other ever,
ever, the whole time you were there, that got you through.
It got me through when I saw him.

(39:47):
What was that like? Everything.
Yeah, everything hurt, but it was everything because I just
spent 2 1/2 years just in, in just chaos.
Yeah. Chaos.
Just complete chaos. I did well, bodybuilding
sometimes because I was so focused and ear.
I was mad, right? So I channeled it and went that
way. But then I was I was, I was also

(40:09):
struggling very much, right. And so with him and I wasn't
talking to a guy like I should have.
I was, I was supposed to avoiding family because one
thing you know, we don't like and I see somebody, you know,
see celebrities go through it sometimes, but people don't
realize how much that is when people know you're hurting.
That is so annoying. When people know, they say, oh,
that look on their face. Yeah, I know.

(40:31):
You see the grocery store? Hey, you gonna grab these
bananas? Oh, you can have them.
I know you're hurting. Right.
Like they just know your heart to the point of like you just
you don't want to be in public. Yeah, you.
Don't want to stop you guys then.
People isolate you too. You don't want to call people.
You don't want to have the, you know, they don't know how to

(40:52):
sympathize. Yes.
And then they don't call you because they.
Yeah, it's it's really weird. It shakes out who your people
are. And the ones that think they
know, I have more people do. Yeah.
So, you know, I know your story.I heard about what happened.
And, you know, and they try to tell you about you and what
you're going through. Which people?

(41:12):
There was times where I would date a person, no names.
I would date a person. Right.
And have the audacity to try to tell me, Not ask me, Tell me
what they thought they knew about my life, what they heard
and try to dictate and tell me my story.

(41:32):
Yeah. So I know your thing with your
mom over here is actually that'sand that's and it's completely
false. I'm like, yeah, no.
No. You're but imagine that.
But you got to keep it cool. Like I want to cuss you out, but
I can't. So it was a very notable event
that people had access to information to.
So then they felt like they knewyou.
The worst thing you've ever gonethrough.

(41:53):
That's a really weird position. You mentioned a calling to God
at that time, so you'd always been kind of religious.
But was there a moment where you're like, OK, whoa, I hear
you, or I really need you and really reached out?
Is that what you mean? Yeah.
A. 100% I mean, between that andthen there was some, some, some
moments, man, were just embarrassing moments where when
you act out of ways that you were raised not to be, you know,

(42:15):
the kind of man I was raised to be and who I was becoming during
that time period, I lost myself.And I'm not, I'm not afraid to
admit that some some acts I did out there, it set me up for that
good old social media bash. Yeah, OK.
Oh yeah, got to love. Oh, got to love those.
Got to thank you social media. Thank you.
Hey, Genesis chapter 50, verse 20.

(42:38):
Even though the evil that you brought was meant against me,
God made it happen to be good for me, right?
So thanks for that. Again, Genesis chapter 15 verse
20. You got it.
So that is the truth. You, you take this evil, this,
this pain, right that they try to, they try to put in your
story and try to dictate and tell people this is what it,

(42:58):
this is what he is. This is what we'll label them
that way. Then you talk to God.
You're not alone. You're not going to endure it
alone because you don't have to.And that's what I that's what I
had to do. I had to go reach in and have
that that deep talk, that deep, naked, vulnerable conversation.
And come to remember, God don't want you when you're perfect.

(43:20):
He wants you when you're down, when you're going through stuff,
when there's no other way to no other way to go, you know?
And for me the clock struck 0 a few times.
Damn. Yeah, when I had to figure out a
way to, to channel all of that negativity, all that trauma, all
that pain and to, to, to rise above, right.

(43:41):
And, and my dad used to give me notes and he would send me
stuff. I never forget. 1 he sent me on
his birthday, which is the same day I actually started
bodybuilding. Everything I do is for him, by
the way. But Mark, Chapter 9, verse 23,
everything is possible for the one, for he who believes.
And he sent me, he would send mescriptures, you know, and a lot
of different articles and stuff while he was in.

(44:03):
And that one I, I have all his letters and Anita to tell you, I
have all of his birthday cards on my refrigerator still from
just that time. Because it's just important, you
know, it's very important because it's a reminder.
So you got to have the experience of losing your dad
and seeing everything that you missed, like appreciating your

(44:25):
dad in a way, Like you don't know what you have until it's
gone. Oh my goodness.
And now you still have a whole lifetime with your dad.
Like what's your relationship like today?
Solid as hell, man. I mean, even more so.
And that's, and that's why I say, you know, well, you, you
want to, you want to make sure that in this life, you, you take
everything that's that that's happening to you and try to

(44:48):
appreciate it as much as possible.
Because we only have one, as cliche as that is, we only have
one of these, right? But if you can, if you can think
about what you're intending yourlife to be what what are you?
What are you doing right? Earl Nightingale said it best,
right? It's 8 words.
We become what we think about most often.

(45:12):
So if you again, I saw you do this on another podcast with
someone, but if you're thinking those bad these did with AT
those negative thoughts will play out in a very negative way.
But what helped me with being able to connect back with Jesus
Christ, remember to have just give it all back to God, right?
What helped with that too was learning about Marissa Pier.

(45:35):
And Marissa Pier is a very, veryfamous hypnotherapist.
And what she's really good at isthis book and this phrase came
with called I am enough. I am enough period.
And I got that in 2020. And what she, what she really
tries to bang home is self talk,huh?
Self talk. Like what?

(45:55):
Like what does that mean? So oh, simple so.
Like positive self talk. Yeah, but but as well, but watch
yourself talk easy example. She talks about easy one.
We'll be in the we'll be in the on traffic in the freeway.
Oh, this traffic's killing me. What?
Just heard that. What's killing you?
Traffic. What's What's your brain going
to do every time you get in traffic?
Yeah, and what's really killing you?

(46:16):
Is it the traffic or is it your brain?
Little things, but but, and she always said, I love this, this
phrase, this quote, she says, she says the best and most
loving relationship you're ever going to have in your life is
want yourself, right. But people don't have a great
relationship with themselves. You know, people, people will
talk so bad about themselves andnever, never to the friend to a
friend the way they talk about themselves.

(46:37):
You know how people get so agitated and insecure and all
these things because we're comparing.
Right. Yeah, but media doesn't help
that. Fall in love with you, though,
but again, like Robert Greene would say, like what what?
What makes you you what passionate about you?
What what is it that you bring to the table, you know, and then
fall in love with that? Like me, I know I got a big
nose. You going to tell me twice, but

(46:59):
I know how to fall in love with that.
But there's so many other. What are your gifts?
What are the things that you like people's.
I know I've met people. I don't know what I have.
What do you mean you're not? You're not willing to really
look at yourself, then you're not willing to really take
yourself for all you're worth, and that's sad.
Doesn't mean there's so many people on this planet, man, that
have no idea how special they truly are, have no idea how how

(47:20):
much impact they can really givepeople and be to people.
They have no idea. And it's so sad.
I've seen it. I've seen it man.
How do you think people can start to examine themselves like
that process of finding what you're good at naturally?
Be honest with you, be honest, be vulnerable and honest with
you and be willing to make the mistakes, man, It's OK.

(47:41):
It's OK because no one's perfect.
No one's perfect. I'm not perfect.
Like I told you, my last social media blast that I got when
people were making mistakes, they end up going end up going
out in the world. You would think it would have
you think it would have crushed me.
I think it would have crushed me, man, you know, but but
again, John, John chapter 13 verse 7, you know, you will not

(48:04):
know what I'm doing right now, but later you will soon find out
God, God was doing all this. Stuff dude.
What do you think? Like what?
What is the biggest blessing in disguise from the situation with
your dad? What do you think this is for?
For this telling that story, living it out, you know, he, he
wrote it and I was actually talking to Anita about this

(48:25):
before we came in. I was like, you know, he wrote
it in the card to continue to share our story, continue to
share your gifts, continue to share what we've what we've been
through. And that has been the best thing
is making an impact right with it.
Because again, like we always say, we, we, you, me, everyone
else who who wants to be someonewho impacts Ataro, right?

(48:45):
You want to impact people and toshare one of my biggest my
biggest beliefs and one of the things that I drive home for
myself is I want to be AI want to serve my way to success, you
know, and that is my I've. Never heard that, that's
awesome. Yeah.
And I think but because rememberif if we serve.
Serve my way to success. Yeah, because it's.

(49:06):
Sick. Is it talking about taking
notes? Well, is that, is that not, is
that not what we're doing at theend of the day, right?
Is that not what we're doing? We're, we have, we, we're
serving, right? We're serving in in one way or
another. It, it, it's either way.
We're, we're doing it in one wayor another.
We're gonna we're and the more people you can, right, Just just
like, just like with business, right?
If you can, if you can, if you could take this product, right?

(49:27):
Yeah. You know, the more people it it
serves, the more successful you'll be, right?
It's just, it's just I have this, it's just, I think it's
very simple, a simple way to look at it.
And that's how I've been able todo it.
I said I just want a certain wayof success, you know, wouldn't
matter what what I'm doing. I want to serve my way to
success in any way shape or. Form dude what a crazy testimony
to working out too. Like going through your grandpa

(49:48):
died, you know, divorced. Yeah.
Well, that yeah, let's talk about it.
But you were able to channel allthat through working out, Yes,
You know, yes, I not addictions and stuff like that.
That's really, really cool. I mean, that's a tried and true
method. Then that's, you know, tell me
about bodybuilding. You know, bodybuilding started

(50:08):
because I strayed away from highschool into college because I
just the focus, right? So the focus wasn't wasn't there
to to go that way. It's funny, every time I did
focus, I saw success when I didn't horrible.
So it's just I felt like I failed, right?

(50:29):
My father, I didn't. I didn't graduate high school
with everybody. I didn't know that, yeah.
And see. And again, God prepares you do
the things that hurt you or the things that that happened to
you, that you, you just never forget.
Oh, that hurt. I don't never want to have to
deal with that again, right? But it, it conditions you, I'll
never forget because I didn't walk here I am.

(50:50):
You remember how they used to dowhen they get ready for
graduation, You do the walk and you prepare, right?
This is 2 days before, right? My ass is running to my English
teachers class. I'm about to go in the foyer and
turn the corner to go to her class to go like, hey, can I
still? Yeah.
Yeah, right. So as I'm turning the corner

(51:10):
right, I see every single seniorin my class.
Wow, staring at me because they're all getting ready.
They're getting lined up to practice.
Dang, every single senior. All of them.
I am naked. I am afraid, you know, only.

(51:31):
And I say that only because, youknow, there's nowhere to hide,
man. And no matter who they and see.
And that's what life does. You look at one person, man.
I remember we used to do this together, you know, all these
memories of these people. But the look on their face
wasn't that. The look on their face was.
Oh, yeah. Damn.
You know, it's like, wow, look at them.

(51:51):
Shit. How?
Why are you there? Why are you not here?
Just the look of just your disappointment, right, and that
and that, but that had to had tothat took that and I never
forgot that. I've never forgotten that moment
of having to deal with getting judged, ridiculed, labeled,
whatever you want to call it. And I took that with me the rest

(52:12):
of my life. But those, those moments help
later on, you know, those moments help build the person
that you see today, you know, and, and when it came to
bodybuilding and this, this, that, that world that was
hilarious, but that world that that bodybuilding is and what
comes with it. A lot of people are so focused

(52:32):
on the exterior, you know, and there, and a lot of people
aren't as strong on the inside as they should be.
And, and unfortunately, they don't know who they are.
They don't know who they are. They, they are trying to build
an identity through these muscles.
They're trying to mimic someone else.
They see online as well. They a lot of them do not know

(52:52):
who they are as a person withoutit.
When you get off of the stage, who are you?
What's your purpose in this life?
What do you do? What are you doing?
What are you giving back? Like why you are you going to
are you serving people? Are you taking right?
No matter what level, there's plenty of people out there on
different tiers and they don't. Damn that's a gut check dude.
Are you serving or are you taking?

(53:15):
Simple, but in in our world of bodybuilding, what they can
take, right? Give me a sponsorship, give me
first place. I've done this Gimme, Gimme,
Gimme, right. It's all about the Gimme in this
in in in that industry is a lot more of that than there is of,
of of serving me. Meanwhile, I put on one of the
biggest seminars ever had in allof all of Sacramento a few years

(53:35):
ago. Right.
Served right. Posing, Clint, posing seminars
few years ago served a lot of this things I did to serve
people until those same people shitted on me online.
No, I don't do those cinemas anymore, but I will be coming
back and doing them because Trevor, I can't, I can't stay
away. I have to because it's part of

(53:56):
my DNA. But now we're, we now we have
bigger and better things than ventures we're doing to help the
masses. You know, I'll never, I'll never
stay away from it because it is part of me.
It's part of my DNA. Damn man, can't leave it alone.
Were you? Always this strong, like
internally like I feel I've donea lot of these interviews, I've
heard people thought that, that you are very, very strong.
Or did you build that? Of course it was built.

(54:18):
I mean it really, it took a. Lot anybody can build it too.
I think my can build it if they if they do the habits and
practice right. Like with bodybuilding, like
this year, I've been a pro since2016, man.
I've reached the pinnacle of it.When I when you lock in and you,
you keep practicing those habitsof life, you will get to where
you want to go, but it may not happen right away.

(54:38):
So a lot of people lose faith. They don't want to say name of
the game is consistency and being persistent.
Like just like Napoleon Hill said, persistence is like carbon
is to steal. If you don't stay persistent,
you ain't getting nowhere. Persistence to success is just
like carbon and steal. You have to have it.
And if you don't want to be consistent, you don't want to
keep practicing those habits. You'll never get there.

(54:59):
It's not happening. So you have to stay consistent
and persistent with it. As many times as I've looked up
and be like, man, you know, I was ain't really there yet.
I'm gonna keep eating this cleanmeal, right?
And then one day, bam, they're there.
So it just it's a continuing process.
Discipline too. You have to.
That takes discipline to be persistent.
But again, where I found the culmination of all that to be

(55:23):
was one of my probably my favorite quote of all time is
Bob. Proctor.
Oh man. See, yeah, that's I know this.
I know that's my guy. And I think one of my favorite
quotes of all time and he says the environment is more
important to success than the gifts you are giving at birth.
If your environment isn't right,LeBron wouldn't have been

(55:43):
LeBron, Michael Jackson, MichaelJackson, Floyd Mayweather would
be Floyd Mayweather. I wouldn't be me.
You wouldn't be you if the environment wasn't right, no
matter how good because how manypeople we know that we easy
example basketball players. This guy was the best.
He could jump off the but the environment was shitty.
But we never made it all becauseof the environment.

(56:04):
The environment matters so much.You want to stop doing certain
things. Get out of that environment.
How many got you had a couple guests on.
One lady talked about she she got out of that abusive
marriage. Yeah.
You got out your environment andthen what happened?
She thrived. Yeah.
Did she get it when she was in the marriage?
No. When you got out the marriage,
you changed your environment, which changed you.

(56:27):
You know that that's. That's something that I was able
to do. I I've reminded myself of that
so much like the woman that's inthis room.
Hello was part of was a blessingfrom changing my environment,
just that alone, changing my environment, getting around
different people, cleaning house, right, you know, opening,
opening myself up to new and better things for my

(56:49):
environment. And that's another thing you got
to eliminate, you know, you got to, you know, you got to
sometimes eliminate what it's, it's addition by subtraction
sometimes like people or things,things, habits.
How do you identify what needs to be eliminated?
OK easy. Oh man, I want to be a pro
bodybuilder. Man, I keep eating bad food.

(57:11):
Yeah, yeah, yeah. OK.
Well man, I got. So start with the obvious stuff,
right? Dude?
I think the biggest changes thathave the biggest impact are the
most obvious. Yeah, I think people are trying
to. At least I can speak for myself.
You said that. Perfectionism and let's get down
to the nitty nitty gree tails. And it's like, no, you can't do
all that and then eat Cheetos. It's not gonna work.
Like, let's start with the obvious.

(57:32):
Yeah, obvious stuff. And that that's just I think
for, for, for what's been helping with us.
Like I told you saying I've beenpro for nine years, never had a
pro win. And I lost some faith along the
way. So I'm being strong because you,
you work so hard to bust ass, bust ass, bust ass.
This isn't an easy sport. It's not easy by any means.
And finally this year I won my first pro show and I'm going to

(57:54):
the biggest Bible show in the world in 12 weeks.
But why? Why is that?
What? What did I do differently?
Well last year I started removing a lot of things from my
life. I had a problem letting go.
Y'all got to let go too. Let go.
You got to let go, let God let go.
And now it's scary how much I don't care.
Wow. I don't care if you, you're not

(58:15):
if you're, if it's not it. Always works like that, dude.
You just, you know what? Just take it man.
And then, oh, you start getting traction, right?
Damn it, addition by subtraction, this person doesn't
fit. My, my, my, they don't fit the,
the, the direction I'm going. This, this, these, these things
don't fit the person I'm trying to become.
I listen to Earl Nightingale 18 minute and four second video

(58:38):
every single morning. Pay the price, right?
You got to pay the price. One thing they talk about the
most is it's 6 steps to becomingsuccessful.
One of them on there is name thethings and the type of person
you want to be. If you want to be this kind of
person, write it down and then guess what?
Step 6 is? Act on the person and become the

(59:00):
person you want to be because we're all playing a role.
We're all playing a role, right?When a criminal wants to be a
criminal, guess who does he actslike a criminal?
When a preacher in a past wants to be a pastor, guess what he's
doing? He's acting like a pastor.
Even though he's not there yet, you mean?
Yeah, we're coming. And that's why I tell we talk
about something. I love this stage right now.
I'm in, I'm still becoming and Ilove it.

(59:21):
I love I'll never stop becoming because I'm still becoming this
thing, this entity, this person,this idea.
And I'm loving it. I love every step of the way,
man. Because right now you have so
many different, different thingsyou could touch, different
places you could impact, right? And you just like, you know,
just like when you made this podcast, it's like you had this
idea of what you wanted, what you wanted to be, what you want

(59:43):
to be while doing it. Now you're acting on it.
Yeah. Like, come on.
Yeah, dude. Dude that's sick man.
Thank you for sharing all that. Absolutely.
Any other stories or things you wanna tell?
Things you wanna leave the audience?
Anything else on your mind? Well, I might be really honest
with you, man. The thing about it now is, like
we're saying a minute ago, with the steps in life and with
what's been going on, people that do not know me, I struggle

(01:00:07):
like anybody else and. You have to find something
that's a healthy vice, somethingthat you can believe in,
something that can help you get to the next step, right, because
we're all going to struggle at some point.
Mine happens to be the Lord Jesus Christ.
And, and with like I said earlier, I, I'm never alone.

(01:00:28):
Like we had a conversation with before.
With that. I talk to God all the time.
I pray before every meal becauseeveryone was going to be the
last one. You know I've had to deal with
with with different things that challenge me right.
All mental. Yeah, is mental right.
And and the old conditioning andwe got to reprogram ourselves
and a lot of people. You can't be afraid to do the

(01:00:50):
work. You're right.
You got to you can't be don't beafraid of it and don't be afraid
of the new you. You know you might lose again to
let go. Let God just some people.
Yeah, unfortunately, guess what that best friend you have, they
might need to go. They might need to go if if if
you're telling me kind of like aperson who might be overweight.
Just this analogy real quick. And I got it from a comedian.

(01:01:12):
He said this. It was so funny.
He said you don't kind of be overweight your whole life, your
whole life. Don't you want to try to be
skinned at least once? You never know, You may like it.
And he said, you know, he's like, you already know how it
tastes. Stop eating that shit, you know,
but I think that what was peoplewe say stuck to certain people

(01:01:33):
who think we owe them something while they've been our friend
for years and they've done this and this and this.
And so, you know, but what if that one decision, right, one
decision change your life? It's true.
What if the person that you're attaching yourself to, that
you're so committed to is the one person that's holding you
back? I've, I've unfortunately been in

(01:01:54):
relationships or even had friends for 10 years.
How come as soon as they left, Istarted ascending and I was sad,
you know, Trevor, I didn't become, I didn't start becoming
more successful and getting morewins in my life until after
certain people were gone. And I saw it and it made me sad.
I was always, I was always afraid to do it because I didn't

(01:02:16):
want to lose them. But I knew it.
That's what's worse. I knew that.
Yeah. I was like, I don't want to
lose. I didn't know who yet.
I don't want to say who, but I knew that there were people that
needed to go in order for me to be successful.
I'm like, I just don't know who.And I really, God, I really
don't know if I can make that choice.
But once I did, and you know what's funny?

(01:02:37):
God did it for me. God, everyone has ever left.
God did it for me. He, he, he had them move
themselves. I didn't have to make the hard
choice. He did it for me.
So, you know, it made it easy, you know, for me, but all these
people, man, we all struggle with something and you just got
to find your vice and find what what helps you to to get across.

(01:02:59):
You know that that goal post andthat get across that, that's
that goal line. And for me, it's him.
And being able to be honest withyourself and true for with
yourself. Seek help if you need it and
understand you're not alone. There are so many people in this
world. You're trust me.
You're not the only one that trust me.
You're not the only person in this world who's going through
what you're going. I promise, I promise you.
That's crazy. Everyone thinks that the only

(01:03:19):
one dealing with it, you're not.You're not.
And it doesn't mean the pain's less.
It means that you can find hope and comfort and, you know,
consultant, I don't know if that's a word, but you know what
I'm saying. I'm.
Consultant, we made it today. Yeah, we did make it today.
So I, I appreciate that and I appreciate your platform because
it gives people like myself and everyone else I've seen on your
podcast an impact to people who are watching dude.

(01:03:42):
And you never know who's. America everywhere, dude.
Everywhere. Brush shoulders in the parking
lot with a miracle. You don't even know it.
Alright, Coffee Republic, you know.
Yeah, there. You go, dude.
Sick man. Right on.
I appreciate it. Good luck in the show, man.
Thank you, brother. Yeah.
Appreciate you. Thank you.
Yeah.