Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Hola, hola amiga.
Today, I'm thrilled to kick offbalanced motherhood, a special
eight part series as part of myupcoming signature coaching
program, balanced motherhood.
And what we're going to do inthese eight episodes.
Is we will be exploring what ittruly means to be millennial
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Latina mom in today's world fromidentity struggles to setting
boundaries with our familia.
Each episode will providepractical strategies to help you
create a motherhood experiencethat honors both your heritage
and your authentic self.
Today we're diving into what Icall the modern Latina mom
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identity crisis.
And I feel like it's thatfeeling of being caught in the
middle and how we can transformit into our greatest strength.
Before we dive in, in the shownotes, there are two links, one
where you can suggest differenttopics, topics like this one or
any topic that you want me totalk about.
(01:06):
And I also have another link onsuggesting a guest.
So if you know of a potentialguest who could benefit in being
on the show, feel free to sharetheir information as well.
I think that it's so importantto share our stories and for
people to share their expertise.
And that way, mama, yourmotherhood journey can be better
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informed and I also want toremind you to please rate and
review the show.
It's so important for me toreceive feedback and what you
think of this show so that waypeople can find Viva La Mami and
for Latina moms to not feel inisolation as it relates to their
motherhood journeys.
So please don't forget to rateand review if you're listening
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through Apple podcasts Otherwiseyou can rate the show on Spotify
and you can also subscribe onour YouTube channel, which is
technically in a podcast modebut if you If you want to see
videos of these interviews orany tips as it relates to your
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motherhood journey, let me know.
I'm always open to that.
And the reason why so that waywe can build this community
together.
I'm building this community foryou, for us because it is so
needed.
I'm really excited to bestarting off this eight part
series, which will consist ofshort episodes of like no more
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than 30 minutes.
And that way you receive quicktips from me and just like
inspiration.
I think again, as it relates toour motherhood journeys of how
isolated it can be.
This is just part of ourexperiences.
And if you are holding your babyright now, feeding them, or if
you're washing dishes orwhatever it is that you're
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doing, I hope that theseupcoming episodes can really
help you to feel empowered tocreate your own version of
motherhood.
because the whole essence ofViva La Mami is to help Latinas
redefine motherhood based ontheir own terms.
All right, so grab your cafecitoand let's get into today's
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episode.
Jessica (04:21):
One of the main things
that literally came up on my
mind, as I was preparing thisepisode, was how there is a
dissonance between culturalexpectations and kind of like
our own way of parenting and theway that we want to raise our
kids in our own terms.
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And so one of the things that Ireally struggled with when I was
a first time mom with Diego, Ireally fell into those cultural
expectations where we decided tobaptize him because that was the
expectation and Even though itwas a very low key baptism A lot
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of people in my family at leastbut I'm pretty sure in your
family Baptisms are like big.
I mean You rent a hall you get aDJ if anything, it's a group.
Oh you get the whole party,right?
and for us, we didn't want that.
We just preferred a smallceremony at the church and then
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a lunch afterwards.
And that was it.
It was very low key chill, but Ifelt like it wasn't.
Us.
I felt like it wasn't me.
I honestly felt a sinner becauseI hadn't gone to church before
that.
And even though we have done thesacraments and all of that as a
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married couple, right, we gotmarried under the church.
We, we are still navigatingthat.
of religion, and I felt fake.
I felt like it wasn't me when wegot Diego baptized.
Now, I do believe in the essenceof having padrinos, and I did
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research on this, our ancestorsin pre Columbian times, they
gathered and honored a child andthey essentially did a ceremony
kind of similar to a baptism,but obviously it's not specific
to Catholicism.
And so I was hoping to dosomething like that, but I was
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afraid to tell my family And.
Diego is obviously growing upwith his madrinas.
We decided to have him havepositive women role models in
their lives.
And so we decided to have my twosisters and Alex's sister as his
madrinas.
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And so I know that at the end ofthe day, he is more so
identifying himself with havingthis close relationship with
them rather than them beingtheir madrinas through the
church necessarily.
But now that we have Mateo andhe's turning two at the time of
this recording, we haven't yetbaptized him.
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And to be honest, It's twofold.
One is that we now feelempowered to make those
decisions, our own decisions interms of what we want to do with
our kids.
But also this other aspect thatwe're just in full survival
mode.
This is not.
Even a part of our prioritylist, if you will, and I think
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it's because we are notpracticing Catholics.
And so navigating this as afirst time mom versus now a
second time mom, it has been alot different.
I still get questioned, Y porqué no bautizas a Mateo?
Cuándo lo vas a bautizar?
Has escogido?
Los Padrinos, why haven't yougone to church, blah, blah,
blah.
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For us we are raising our kidsdifferently.
And I feel like there's a lot ofshame out there about why people
decide not to raise their kids.
religiously.
And for us, there's a lot toexplore, a lot to learn.
And we don't want to fall intojust because we are conforming
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to our cultural roots, right?
When it comes to specificallythat we just feel like it is
inauthentic, if that makessense.
And so what exactly is thisidentity crisis I'm talking
about?
And as millennial Latina moms,we're in this unique position.
Many of us grew up watching ourmamas and abuelas embody the
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very traditional ideals ofLatina motherhood, that self
sacrificing, always puttingfamily first, the keeper of
traditions and culture, butwe're also part of a generation
that values individualfulfillment, career ambition,
and personal growth.
And in the context of my story,it's also about how you are
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redefining motherhood andparenthood overall.
And so we've been told we can.
We have it all that we have toconform again to the cultural
expectations and the societalexpectations as mujeres, but the
reality is often morecomplicated, especially when our
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cultural background adds anotherlayer to navigate.
So we're left asking ourselvesquestions like, how do I honor
my cultural traditions whilecreating new ones?
And so the truth is, there's noone right way to be a
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transcriber.
Mom, a Latina mom.
We're writing our own stories,creating a new blueprint,
really, for what motherhood canlook like when we honor both our
heritage and our authenticselves.
And so this identity crisis isexactly why I created Balanced
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Motherhood.
It is a framework for navigatingthese complex topics with
intention and confidence.
It's built on three core pillarsthat I've found are essential
for every Latina mom trying tofind her way.
And so, the first pillar isprioritizing yourself as a
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Latina mom.
This might feel uncomfortable atfirst.
Many of us grew up with themessage that a good mama always
puts herself last.
But here's the truth, you cannotpour from an empty cup.
And so, prioritizing yourselfisn't selfish.
It's essential for being themommy you want to be.
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This includes learning how tomanage your time effectively,
creating space for meaningfulself care, and this doesn't mean
bubble baths, okay?
It's like true self care.
How are you literally takingtime to yourself?
And rediscovering your passionsoutside of motherhood.
And so one of the mamis that Ihad with balanced motherhood was
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how she was having a hard timeasking for help and I know that
many of us Have a really hardtime asking for help, but I
think it's so important tocommunicate this with your
partner if you are in apartnered relationship and
Explain to them how you arefeeling how you need help how
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you also matter and so I thinkthis is just part of how we get
to let people know that We alsocome first.
The second pillar that I talkabout in my program is finding
balance with your identity as aLatina mom.
And this is about bridging thegap between generations and
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cultures.
It's really about honoring yourheritage while also creating new
traditions that align with yourvalues.
It's about dismantling Limitingcultural beliefs like
Marianismo, familiarismo,Parentification, right?
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All of these expectations thatwe grew up with.
Ultimately, it's up to us inbuilding a parenting style that
feels authentic to you.
And I've already given thisexample about our situation with
raising our kids without areligion And I think that for
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us, we feel so empowered inmaking our own decisions.
And I hope I don't get pushedback here, but I think that it
is important to, Think aboutwhat your true values are as it
relates as a family, asindividuals, and figuring out if
this is something for you.
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And now I'm not saying tocompletely remove yourself from
religion, right?
No.
But what I'm saying is that Ithink you have the ability to
really reflect on yourself andreally think, okay, do my values
align with the Catholic church?
If not, what are other ways thatI can grow my faith into other
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denominations or othercommunities where perhaps are
more accepting of my own values?
And so I'm not saying that youshould be an atheist.
No, by no means, right?
But again, it's more so how canyou.
Bridge this gap between thosecultural expectations and the
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way that you want to presentyourself in front of your kids
and sometimes If not, oftentimesthis breaks generational
patterns and that is the goal,right?
We want to break from that.
We want to create this newversion of parenting, especially
within the Latina community, theway that we want to create it in
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a more positive, genuine way.
And that way our kids don't getto repeat the cycle.
And then finally, the thirdpillar that I discuss in my
program is setting boundarieswith your family.
So, for many Latina moms,including myself, this is the
hardest pillar.
Our cultura often emphasizesfamily above all else, which can
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make it difficult to set healthyboundaries.
But boundaries are not walls.
They're guidelines that help usprotect our energy and
prioritize our well being whilestill maintaining loving
relationships.
And so a boundary that I've setfor myself is, not over
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explaining my family about whywe don't go to church.
And Through time they'veunderstood like okay, they're
not going to church like it'sfine.
And this is a boundary that Ihave set with my family.
Like, no, I'm not going tochurch with you.
No, at this time, we're notgoing to baptize Mateo, right?
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And so they've understood it.
They're respected it, butObviously, there's still
somewhat of a tension betweenthat, and that is okay, okay?
So these three pillars from thefoundation of my program,
Balanced Motherhood, it's a wayof mothering that honors both
our cultural heritage and ourauthentic selves.
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So maybe you're listening andwondering if this resonates with
your experience.
Well, here are some signs thatyou might be navigating this
modern Latina mom identitycrisis.
So, number one, you feel guiltywhen you take time for yourself,
even though you know you needit.
Number two, you find yourselfcaught between your parents
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expectations and your ownparenting instincts.
Number three, you struggle tosay no to family obligations,
even when they drain yourenergy.
Number four, you sometimes feellike you're not Latina enough or
not keeping cultural traditionsalive.
Number five, you feel pressureto be the perfect mama, the
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perfect wife, the perfectdaughter, and the perfect
professional all at once.
Number six, you struggle to findexamples of motherhood that
reflect your experience as aLatina.
If you're nodding along to anyof these, well You are exactly
where you need to be.
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over the next seven episodes.
We're going to dive deep intoeach of these pillars Each
episode will give you actionablestrategies you can implement
right away.
Along with reflection questionsto help you get clear on what
matters most to you.
So before we wrap up today'sepisode, I want you to know that
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this identity crisis we'reexperiencing, it's not a flaw.
It's actually your greatestopportunity.
It's your chance to create a newmodel of Latina motherhood.
And that is one that honors bothyour heritage and your authentic
self.
You can create a motherhoodexperience that embraces both.
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If this episode resonated withyou, well.
Join the waitlist for balancedmotherhood.
This is a three month coachingprogram specifically designed
for millennial Latina moms whowant to create a motherhood
experience that honors boththeir heritage and their
authentic selves.
In this program, we're going tobe diving into all of these
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three pillars through monthlygroup coaching, one on one
support, guest expert sessions,and a supportive community of
Latina moms who get it.
You can learn more atVivaLaMami.
com forward slash balancedmotherhood that is balanced with
a D at the end.
All Remember, you don't have tonavigate this journey on your
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own.
And tune in next week when we'llbe talking about time vampires
and the modern mama.
Those things that drain ourenergy without adding value and
how to reclaim your time.
All right, well, hasta luego ynos vemos on the next episode./