April 17, 2025 • 14 mins
In this seventh episode of our special 8-episode Balanced Madrehood series, I discuss how aligning your parenting with your core values can transform your motherhood experience from reactive to intentional.
As busy mamás juggling careers, households, relationships, and more, it's easy to parent on autopilot - reacting to situations rather than responding based on what truly matters to us. But when we take the time to identify our core values and create a parenting approach that reflects them, we experience more confidence, less guilt, and a stronger sense of purpose.
For detailed show notes, visit vivalamami.com/episode120
In this episode, you'll learn:
- What values really are and why they matter so much in parenting
- A simple exercise to identify your authentic core values (not just what others expect of you)
- How to translate abstract values into concrete, everyday parenting actions
- A 5-minute daily reflection practice that can transform your parenting approach
I share specific examples of how values like respect, connection, and resilience can be put into practice through daily parenting decisions, and explain why parenting from your authentic values is transformative not just for your children, but for you too.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
Today we're continuing ourspecial series on creating a
more balanced motherhoodexperience.
In our previous episodes, we'vecovered reclaiming our time,
prioritizing self-care,reconnecting with our passions,
setting boundaries with ourfamilia, and breaking harmful
cycles while honoring ourheritage.
(00:22):
Today we're focusing onsomething that impacts every
parenting decision you make, andthat is aligning your values
with your parenting approach.
As mamas who are jugglingcareers, households,
relationships, and lots more,it's easy to parent on
(00:43):
autopilot.
Where we react to situations asthey arise rather than
responding intentionally basedon our core values.
But when we take the time toidentify what truly matters to
us and create a parentingapproach that reflects those
values, we experience moreconfidence.
Less mami guilt and a strongersense of purpose in our
(01:07):
madrehood journey.
So in today's episode, we aregoing to explore how to identify
your core values, how totranslate them into everyday
parenting decisions and how tohandle the inevitable conflicts
that arise when different valuescompete for priority.
Jessica (01:25):
But before we dive in, I want to remind you that in the
show notes, there are two links.
One, where you can suggestdifferent topics, topics like
these or any topic that you wantme to talk about.
And I also have another link.
on proposing a guest, or if youknow of a potential guest that
(01:46):
could benefit in being on theshow, feel free to share their
information as well.
I think that it's so importantto share our stories and for
people to share their expertise.
And that way, Mama, yourmotherhood journey can be better
informed.
And that way you can create thebest version of this wonderful
(02:07):
And oftentimes chaotic journeyof ours.
And I also want to remind you toplease rate and review the show
it's so important for me toreceive feedback and what you
think of this show so that waypeople can find Viva La Mami and
that way Latina moms Don't feelin isolation as it relates to
(02:31):
their motherhood journey.
So don't forget to rate andreview.
If you are listening throughApple podcasts, otherwise you
can also rate this show onSpotify and know that I'm here
to build this community for you,for us, because it is needed.
All right, let's dive into theepisode./
(03:55):
So let's start by clarifyingwhat I mean by values.
Your values are the principlesand beliefs that matter most to
you.
And so these are the ideals thatguide your decisions and shape
how you live.
They're the qualities you hopeto embody and pass on to your
(04:15):
children.
And common values include thingslike honesty, respect,
independence, creativity,spirituality, education, family
connection, kindness, courageand perseverance.
But everyone's value system issuper unique, reflecting their
(04:36):
personal experiences, culturalbackground, and individual
priorities, and not to mention.
Where you're at in your currentseason of life.
So why do values matter so muchin parenting?
Well, when your parentingapproach aligns with your core
values, several important thingshappen.
(04:59):
First of all, you experiencemore confidence and less second
guessing instead of wondering ifyou're making the right
decision.
In any given situation, you canask yourself, does this choice
align with my values?
If it does, you can move forwardwith clarity.
Second, you create consistencyfor your peques, when your
(05:22):
actions constantly reflect yourvalues, your kiddos are going to
develop a clear understanding ofwhat matters in your familia.
This consistency providessecurity and helps them
internalize the values you hopeto pass on.
And finally, the third one.
You parent more intentionallyand less reactively.
(05:45):
And this was something that I amstill learning, but I constantly
have to remind myself about whatmy core values are and how they
essentially align to thatspecific moment or what other
people expect.
So you make choices that supportyour longtime vision for your
(06:08):
familia.
And so in balance motherhood, wespend significant time helping
mamas identify their core valuesand align their parenting
approaches accordingly.
It's one of the mosttransformative parts of the
program.
As many moms discover, they'vebeen parenting based on
inherited expectations ratherthan their own authentic values.
(06:29):
So how do you identify your corevalues?
Well, let me share a simpleexercise that has been
incredibly helpful for the momsin our balanced madrehood
community.
So start by reflecting onmoments when you felt most
fulfilled as a parent, let's saytimes when you thought, this is
exactly what I want motherhoodto feel like.
(06:51):
What values were being honoredin those moments?
Was it connection, creativity?
Was it joy or was it a learningexperience?
Conversely, think aboutparenting moments that left you
feeling frustrated or regretful.
Often these difficult momentsoccur when our actions conflict
with our own core values.
(07:13):
So for example, if you valueopen communication, but find
yourself shutting downconversations when you're
stressed, that misalignment canleave you feeling a little
dissatisfied.
Another approach is to considerwhat qualities you most hope to
see in your peques as they grow.
The characteristics you value inthem often reflect your own core
(07:38):
values, so try to narrow down.
Four to six values that feelmost essential to you.
These will become your guidingprinciples for everyday
parenting decisions.
It's also worth noting that yourvalues might differ from those
of your parents or from what'semphasized in mainstream
(08:00):
parenting advice, and that's.
Perfectly.
Okay.
Your core values should reflectyour authentic beliefs about
what matters most and notsomeone else's expectations.
And I know it is so hard tobreak from that, but this is my
challenge to you.
So in Balanced Madrehood weprovide a comprehensive values
(08:22):
assessment that helps mamasidentify not just their
parenting values, but also theirpersonal values, relationship
values, and career values.
Because all of these areinterconnected in this complex
world that we're in as mamas.
And so once you've identifiedyour core values, the next step
(08:45):
is translating them intoeveryday parenting actions.
This is where many mamas getstuck, including myself.
Trust me, they know what mattersto them in theory, but.
They're not so sure how to putthose values into practice.
So let me give you some concreteexamples.
If respect is a core value foryou that might translate into
(09:09):
giving your children choiceswhenever possible, explaining
the reasons behind your rulesand speaking to them in the same
tone you'd use with other adultseven during difficult moments.
If connection is a primaryvalue, you might prioritize
regular one-on-one time witheach of your peques.
(09:29):
Create family rituals that bringyou together or put your phone
away during key family momentsto ensure you're fully present.
If resilience matters to you,you might allow your peques to
experience natural consequencesfor their actions.
Celebrate effort rather thanjust results and share stories
(09:49):
about times when you've overcomeyour own challenges.
So the key is to thinkspecifically about how each
value shows up in dailyinteractions.
For each core value, askyourself.
What does this look like in ourday-to-day family life?
How would someone observing ourfamily know what we value the
(10:13):
most?
And so in balanced motherhood,we help mamas create a values to
actions plan that outlinesspecific ways to honor their
core values across differentparenting situations.
if you take just one thing fromtoday's episode, let it be this
simple exercise.
You can start today.
(10:33):
And that is to reflect on yourcore values each evening.
For the next week, take maybefive minutes to reflect on your
day through the lens of yourvalues, and ask yourself, what
parenting moments today alignedwith my core values?
When did my actions conflictwith what matters most to me?
(10:54):
What's one thing I can dotomorrow to bring my parenting
more in line with my values?
This simple reflection practiceincreases your awareness of how
values show up in your dailyparenting and helps you make
small, intentional shiftstowards greater alignment.
(11:16):
You might be surprised by howquickly this brief daily
reflection transforms yourapproach to parenting decisions.
Many mamas in balancedmotherhood report that this
exercise.
Alone significantly increasestheir confidence and
satisfaction in their motherhoodjourney.
And so as we wrap up today'sepisode, I wanna remind you that
(11:39):
aligning your parenting withyour authentic values isn't just
beneficial for your.
peques, it's transformative foryou too.
When your actions as a mamareflect what truly matters to
you, motherhood becomes lessabout meeting external
expectations and more aboutcreating a family life that
(12:00):
feels deeply meaningful.
If today's episode resonatedwith you and you'd like support
in identifying your core valuesin creating a parenting approach
that honors them, I invite youto join the wait list for
balanced motherhood.
This three month coachingprogram is specifically designed
for the modern Latina mom whowants to create a motherhood
(12:23):
experience that feels authenticand aligned with their values.
In balanced motherhood, we'regonna work together to clarify
your values, create practicalstrategies for honoring them and
your parenting, and build asupportive community with
like-minded mamas who understandyour unique challenges.
To join the wait list, visitviva la ma.com/balanced
(12:47):
motherhood that is balanced witha D at the end.
Dash Madre Hood, and you'll bethe first to know when doors
open for enrollment, whichthey'll open up real soon.
In our final episode of thisseries, next week, we're gonna
bring everything together andexplore how all these elements,
like time management, self-care,personal passions, boundaries,
(13:11):
breaking cycles, andvalues-based parenting create a
truly balanced motherhoodexperience.
Until then, remember when yourparenting aligns with your
values, you parent with purposerather than managing day to day.
All right, AMI.
Well, thank you so much forlistening in the next episode.
Today we're continuing ourspecial series on creating a
more balanced motherhoodexperience.
In our previous episodes, we'vecovered reclaiming our time,
prioritizing self-care,reconnecting with our passions,
setting boundaries with ourfamilia, and breaking harmful
cycles while honoring ourheritage.
(00:22):
Today we're focusing onsomething that impacts every
parenting decision you make, andthat is aligning your values
with your parenting approach.
As mamas who are jugglingcareers, households,
relationships, and lots more,it's easy to parent on
(00:43):
autopilot.
Where we react to situations asthey arise rather than
responding intentionally basedon our core values.
But when we take the time toidentify what truly matters to
us and create a parentingapproach that reflects those
values, we experience moreconfidence.
Less mami guilt and a strongersense of purpose in our
(01:07):
madrehood journey.
So in today's episode, we aregoing to explore how to identify
your core values, how totranslate them into everyday
parenting decisions and how tohandle the inevitable conflicts
that arise when different valuescompete for priority.
Jessica (01:25):
But before we dive in, I want to remind you that in the
show notes, there are two links.
One, where you can suggestdifferent topics, topics like
these or any topic that you wantme to talk about.
And I also have another link.
on proposing a guest, or if youknow of a potential guest that
(01:46):
could benefit in being on theshow, feel free to share their
information as well.
I think that it's so importantto share our stories and for
people to share their expertise.
And that way, Mama, yourmotherhood journey can be better
informed.
And that way you can create thebest version of this wonderful
(02:07):
And oftentimes chaotic journeyof ours.
And I also want to remind you toplease rate and review the show
it's so important for me toreceive feedback and what you
think of this show so that waypeople can find Viva La Mami and
that way Latina moms Don't feelin isolation as it relates to
(02:31):
their motherhood journey.
So don't forget to rate andreview.
If you are listening throughApple podcasts, otherwise you
can also rate this show onSpotify and know that I'm here
to build this community for you,for us, because it is needed.
All right, let's dive into theepisode./
(03:55):
So let's start by clarifyingwhat I mean by values.
Your values are the principlesand beliefs that matter most to
you.
And so these are the ideals thatguide your decisions and shape
how you live.
They're the qualities you hopeto embody and pass on to your
(04:15):
children.
And common values include thingslike honesty, respect,
independence, creativity,spirituality, education, family
connection, kindness, courageand perseverance.
But everyone's value system issuper unique, reflecting their
(04:36):
personal experiences, culturalbackground, and individual
priorities, and not to mention.
Where you're at in your currentseason of life.
So why do values matter so muchin parenting?
Well, when your parentingapproach aligns with your core
values, several important thingshappen.
(04:59):
First of all, you experiencemore confidence and less second
guessing instead of wondering ifyou're making the right
decision.
In any given situation, you canask yourself, does this choice
align with my values?
If it does, you can move forwardwith clarity.
Second, you create consistencyfor your peques, when your
(05:22):
actions constantly reflect yourvalues, your kiddos are going to
develop a clear understanding ofwhat matters in your familia.
This consistency providessecurity and helps them
internalize the values you hopeto pass on.
And finally, the third one.
You parent more intentionallyand less reactively.
(05:45):
And this was something that I amstill learning, but I constantly
have to remind myself about whatmy core values are and how they
essentially align to thatspecific moment or what other
people expect.
So you make choices that supportyour longtime vision for your
(06:08):
familia.
And so in balance motherhood, wespend significant time helping
mamas identify their core valuesand align their parenting
approaches accordingly.
It's one of the mosttransformative parts of the
program.
As many moms discover, they'vebeen parenting based on
inherited expectations ratherthan their own authentic values.
(06:29):
So how do you identify your corevalues?
Well, let me share a simpleexercise that has been
incredibly helpful for the momsin our balanced madrehood
community.
So start by reflecting onmoments when you felt most
fulfilled as a parent, let's saytimes when you thought, this is
exactly what I want motherhoodto feel like.
(06:51):
What values were being honoredin those moments?
Was it connection, creativity?
Was it joy or was it a learningexperience?
Conversely, think aboutparenting moments that left you
feeling frustrated or regretful.
Often these difficult momentsoccur when our actions conflict
with our own core values.
(07:13):
So for example, if you valueopen communication, but find
yourself shutting downconversations when you're
stressed, that misalignment canleave you feeling a little
dissatisfied.
Another approach is to considerwhat qualities you most hope to
see in your peques as they grow.
The characteristics you value inthem often reflect your own core
(07:38):
values, so try to narrow down.
Four to six values that feelmost essential to you.
These will become your guidingprinciples for everyday
parenting decisions.
It's also worth noting that yourvalues might differ from those
of your parents or from what'semphasized in mainstream
(08:00):
parenting advice, and that's.
Perfectly.
Okay.
Your core values should reflectyour authentic beliefs about
what matters most and notsomeone else's expectations.
And I know it is so hard tobreak from that, but this is my
challenge to you.
So in Balanced Madrehood weprovide a comprehensive values
(08:22):
assessment that helps mamasidentify not just their
parenting values, but also theirpersonal values, relationship
values, and career values.
Because all of these areinterconnected in this complex
world that we're in as mamas.
And so once you've identifiedyour core values, the next step
(08:45):
is translating them intoeveryday parenting actions.
This is where many mamas getstuck, including myself.
Trust me, they know what mattersto them in theory, but.
They're not so sure how to putthose values into practice.
So let me give you some concreteexamples.
If respect is a core value foryou that might translate into
(09:09):
giving your children choiceswhenever possible, explaining
the reasons behind your rulesand speaking to them in the same
tone you'd use with other adultseven during difficult moments.
If connection is a primaryvalue, you might prioritize
regular one-on-one time witheach of your peques.
(09:29):
Create family rituals that bringyou together or put your phone
away during key family momentsto ensure you're fully present.
If resilience matters to you,you might allow your peques to
experience natural consequencesfor their actions.
Celebrate effort rather thanjust results and share stories
(09:49):
about times when you've overcomeyour own challenges.
So the key is to thinkspecifically about how each
value shows up in dailyinteractions.
For each core value, askyourself.
What does this look like in ourday-to-day family life?
How would someone observing ourfamily know what we value the
(10:13):
most?
And so in balanced motherhood,we help mamas create a values to
actions plan that outlinesspecific ways to honor their
core values across differentparenting situations.
if you take just one thing fromtoday's episode, let it be this
simple exercise.
You can start today.
(10:33):
And that is to reflect on yourcore values each evening.
For the next week, take maybefive minutes to reflect on your
day through the lens of yourvalues, and ask yourself, what
parenting moments today alignedwith my core values?
When did my actions conflictwith what matters most to me?
(10:54):
What's one thing I can dotomorrow to bring my parenting
more in line with my values?
This simple reflection practiceincreases your awareness of how
values show up in your dailyparenting and helps you make
small, intentional shiftstowards greater alignment.
(11:16):
You might be surprised by howquickly this brief daily
reflection transforms yourapproach to parenting decisions.
Many mamas in balancedmotherhood report that this
exercise.
Alone significantly increasestheir confidence and
satisfaction in their motherhoodjourney.
And so as we wrap up today'sepisode, I wanna remind you that
(11:39):
aligning your parenting withyour authentic values isn't just
beneficial for your.
peques, it's transformative foryou too.
When your actions as a mamareflect what truly matters to
you, motherhood becomes lessabout meeting external
expectations and more aboutcreating a family life that
(12:00):
feels deeply meaningful.
If today's episode resonatedwith you and you'd like support
in identifying your core valuesin creating a parenting approach
that honors them, I invite youto join the wait list for
balanced motherhood.
This three month coachingprogram is specifically designed
for the modern Latina mom whowants to create a motherhood
(12:23):
experience that feels authenticand aligned with their values.
In balanced motherhood, we'regonna work together to clarify
your values, create practicalstrategies for honoring them and
your parenting, and build asupportive community with
like-minded mamas who understandyour unique challenges.
To join the wait list, visitviva la ma.com/balanced
(12:47):
motherhood that is balanced witha D at the end.
Dash Madre Hood, and you'll bethe first to know when doors
open for enrollment, whichthey'll open up real soon.
In our final episode of thisseries, next week, we're gonna
bring everything together andexplore how all these elements,
like time management, self-care,personal passions, boundaries,
(13:11):
breaking cycles, andvalues-based parenting create a
truly balanced motherhoodexperience.
Until then, remember when yourparenting aligns with your
values, you parent with purposerather than managing day to day.
All right, AMI.
Well, thank you so much forlistening in the next episode.
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