April 18, 2021 • 24 mins
Wack Brackets brings on one of the podcasts oldest amigos, 103.9 The Sean, to bracket off.. you guessed it.. Dating Websites. Yes - these really exist (or existed)!
Farmers Only vs Gluten Free Singles
Amish Dating vs Trucker Passions
Championship
Farmers Only vs Gluten Free Singles
Amish Dating vs Trucker Passions
Championship
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Welcome to Whack Brackets, the podcastI Found true Love on Bumble, Yes
talking about you, Hammered Haughty sixtynine. I'm your host, Mike,
and today we will be bracketing offunique dating websites. And I'm going to
do this with a veteran of thedating site trolling life himself as well as
(00:22):
a veteran of this show. Ithink you're on one of my first shows,
maybe my second. Somewhere between thesecond and fourth episode I have on
again, please welcome the Man,the Myth, the person who breaks hearts
and ruins tender profiles. I haveon Sean from one h three point nine
(00:42):
of the Sean How are you today, Sean? I'm doing well. Mike
again, that was an awesome intro. I appreciate it. And Hammered Haughtie
sixty nine. I might have seenher on bumble I feel like I have.
You know, I saw her andso that got me deep diving to
find out Hammered Hottie sixty eight.There wasn't any I couldn't find her.
(01:03):
I was kind of really disappointed forsome reason. I don't know why Hammered
Hottie chose to got get rid ofall the other numbers and just chose sixty
nine. Maybe you could explain thatto me, but I'm befuddled. Yeah,
I'm not really sure if we wantto get into all that right now,
but we'll save that. We'll savethat for my next appearance on one
(01:25):
oh three point nine of the show. Yeah, she's got other ideas.
Yeah she has a few. Ibet, at least gauging from her pictures,
she had a few. So withall that said, Sean, we've
kind of touched on what you doat one oh three point nine The Shawan,
But why don't you tell my loyallisteners here exactly what it is you
(01:46):
do? Absolutely well, My showis a fake radio show is a podcast,
of course, and on my showI talk about my daily life.
I try to include some comical comedianstories, and at the end of every
episode, I will usually include someawful dating profiles that I've come across,
(02:08):
either on bumble Hinge or Match.There's a lot of to use your show's
name, wacky profiles out there,things that are unpleasant or head scratchers or
downright terrifying. And to give youa quick example that I haven't even talked
(02:29):
about yet on my show, theother night, I was on Hinge and
on Hinge not sure if you've everheard of Hinge because I know you're a
married guy, have not, ButHinge you can have videos on there,
like a little quick video segment.So I'm scrolling through this girl and you
know right away it was a no. But you know, I'm just gonna
for the content on my show.I go through everybody's profile. Sure,
(02:52):
So this girl had multiple piercings thatwere just very unpleasant looking, and she
she looked kind of like a Worldof Warcraft character. It was just too
much going on. It was.It was not very attractive. So she's
like in the new Mortal Kombat movie, then, yes, probably, And
(03:12):
so anyway, I'm scrolling down andI see that she has a video clip
posted one in one section and itwas I don't know whose feet, but
there was there was a condom thatwas placed over both persons feet, whoever's
feet they were. It was soit was a condom wrapped around both feet
that were like jammed next to eachother. And the girl whose profile it
(03:37):
was was she like held the person'sfeet with the condom in her hand and
like licked down the foot with thecondom and it was I was just like,
I don't know who that's attracting,But as long as both parties are
multiple parties are okay with it,then I guess they could do what they
(03:57):
wanted their own home. But Itotally agree. I'm not going to kink
shame somebody, but that's getting alittle weird. I'm fine with foot fetishes
and I'm fine with safe sex.Whatever you do, let your free flag
fly on the foot fetishes and safesex is something that all young folks and
single folks should do, and marriedfolks cheating on their wife. But as
far as a condom on feet,that's taking. I've heard of guys having
(04:21):
a foot long dick, but nota foot for a dick. That profile
of a very bad taste in mymouth and probably in hers too, to
coin them off the feet. So, needless to say, that's exactly the
kind of tomfoolery and shenanigans that Shawngets in over at the one h three
(04:43):
point nine of the Shawn Podcast.But if you have not checked out my
podcast before, I would tell youthese shenanigans we are going to perform today.
We will be asking the burning questionsyou never knew you wanted answered until
we ask them. We will bringon fellow podcasters and friends of the show,
such as Sean here, and wewill brack it off similar contestants using
(05:04):
irrelevant, ever changing questions. SoSean again. Because I needed an expert,
I brought on the heavy hitter tobrack it off. Unique dating websites,
none of which you've mentioned on yourshow. I don't believe, which
I'm kind of heartbroken about. Maybethis will give you some new material.
That's true, I might need tobranch out for the people who are on
(05:26):
some of the dating apps that arelesser known. That's right, and we
will be discussing those apps in thiswag bracket, with the first question being
which site members probably have a longerlife expectancy. Would it be the members
at Farmers Only or would it bemembers at Gluten Free Singles. My answer
for this one longer life expectancy FarmersOnly are gluten free Singles. I am
(05:51):
going to have to go with theFarmers Only. I don't know if it's
going to shock you, maybe you'llagree. My reasoning is farmers You know,
farming has been around for thousands ofyears, and if you're a farmer.
You're up early, you're in bedearly, you're getting a good workout
in my opinion, you're outside,you're getting vitamin D, you're probably eating
(06:13):
a semi nutritious diet, and youryour lifestyle is pretty simple. It's calm,
it's not a lot of stress.You're you're doing your own thing.
And I feel like the farmers aregonna have a longer life than the gluten
free singles. Okay, anything youwant to add about the gluten free singles
positive negative, as far as glutenfree singles gluten free, I get that
(06:38):
certain people have allergies. I guessthey have an allergy to it, and
it doesn't settle right, they can'tdigest it, they avoid it. There's
plenty of other options out there,and I was quite shocked at hearing that
there was a gluten free dating site, right, I might have to check
it out just for my show.Like I was saying, but if you're
avoiding gluten that doesn't mean you're eatinghealthy foods or exercising or anything like that.
(07:05):
So there's plenty other bad options thatyou might be taking that they're not
going to lead to a healthy life. No, I agree, And if
you're on gluten free singles, probablyavoid anyone with the name bread fan because
they're out to kill you. Butas far as these two go, farmers
only gluten free singles, I thinkI'm gonna agree with you on this farmers
(07:28):
only. Of course, farmers aregonna eat less preservatives inhale, less pesticides.
But the thing is, I guessif you want to swing it the
other way, of course they're healthyfrom farming too, but they're probably more
likely to be involved in dangerous farmingaccidents or to catch a dangerous and uncurable
STD from slow cows and lazy sheep. As far as gluten free singles,
(07:50):
I actually did a little bit ofresearch and it does, at least from
what I read, gluten free dietstend to have a lot more processed food
in them. I guess people areeating process means. I didn't go deeply
into the article because I'm very mucha surface level googler here when it when
it comes to understanding dietary needs,especially of gluten, because I love fucking
(08:13):
bread too much. Yeah, Butthat being said is that would to me
lead to a lower quality of lifeby not being able to have noodles and
bread, So at that point you'reprobably more depressed. Yeah, I like,
yeah, I'm a big fan ofcards. Anytime I'm at out of
the restaurant, I asked for extragluten. It can be gluten with the
(08:35):
side of gluten exactly, pour iton. Yeah, there's there's to pour
some sugar on me song. Andthen if you really want to kill somebody
of the gluten free singles, poursome gluten on me. I can't believe
it's not gluten. This could goon all day, but we will let
the Farmer's Only website go on tothe final round of the Short and Whack
(08:56):
bracket against the winner of this question. Okay, well, actually I'm going
to tell you the participants first.This time we have Amish Dating versus Trucker
Passions, whose site probably averages theleast amount of teeth per member. Wow,
that's a tough one. I feellike you can make a case either
(09:18):
way, honestly, and I knowyou always got evidence for both. I'll
probably go with the Trucker side becausethey're most likely eating a worst diet.
Kind of goes along with our firstquestion. Their diet probably gonna be worse.
A lot of soda keep them upat night driving those long hours,
mountain dues, all that type ofred bull stuff, and not thinking that
(09:41):
they're going to be the type ofperson that's always gonna consistently keep up with
their six months dental check. Right, as far as the Amish go,
their diet probably simpler. This isa very food related episode. To me.
It feels like diet's probably simpler.And they you know, they're no
electricity or anything like that. Theykind of live a simpler life, just
(10:03):
like the farmers. And I feellike they got they gotta have like a
town dentist somewhere checking them in.You know, they're not They're they're like
a smaller community, right, They'renot really straying far and they you know,
what the fuck else are they reallydoing? But the question is is
is that dentist using proper equipment orare they just pulling three thousand pliers?
(10:26):
Yeah? Um, well we saidless fewer teeth. We're not saying what's
really happening at the dentist's office,right, fewer teeth? Remember, per
Remember I'm probably gonna stick with thetruckers. What's what are your thoughts?
All? Right? Well, betweenthe obligatory Matthews, the barroom scuffles,
the risky sexual behavior, the baddiet, and less access to a consistent
(10:50):
washroom. I would agree with youfor Trucker passions, but I think the
question lends itself to teeth, notnecessarily good teeth. So I'm going to
guess that while most of their teethmay be black or avity filled, they
still have them more often whereas Amishdating. The thing is is a lot
(11:13):
of these communities are very well segregatedfrom regular communities, and they don't generally
have good hygiene with teeth. They'reprobably brushing their teeth with like potato toothpaste
and flossing with a rope they usedto tether their cows with. Yeah,
just whatever they can get their grubbymits on. And I did start reading
(11:35):
about the Amish, and they didsay that they are notoriously do have bad
teeth. What article in general claimedthey had healthier teeth on average than the
average American, but they also admittedthat Amish people have no problem pulling teeth
(11:56):
whether they're bad or not, andthat only ave of the Amish floss daily
and less than thirty three percent brushtheir teeth at least once daily. Wow,
why would they pull a good tooth? I don't understand that. It's
a thing I'm telling you. Imean, are you're that hard pressed for
some cash from the tooth faerry?I don't think they believe in that tough.
(12:18):
I get it, we're still waitingfor some stimulus money. But holy
shit, But not only that.I would also guess, and this is
just me guessing here, is thatespecially on a site like Amish dating,
since having no teeth is kind oflike a luxury, it sounds like it's
like toothless Amish women could be abig sexual turn on for God. Yeah,
(12:39):
I mean they might be a hitat those trucker stops. That's you
know what they That's true when whenyou're on the run from your Amish community
just go to the truck or stopand just live your best life. Yeah,
I mean there's some crazy shit goingon there. I don't know if
I don't know if the level ofcondoms on feet but who knows less condom
on feet ratio. I don't thinkthe Amish believe in that shit. I
(13:03):
think that's why they have about thirtyseven kids. But they need help around
the house. Yeah, there's alot of fucking dust to clean when you
ain't got a vacuum cleaner. Soall that said, I am going to
pick the Amish. Do you wouldyou like to stick with the truckers or
would you like to convert to theAmish? Oh my god. If you
convert to the Amish, that meansthat you get final say on the next
(13:24):
question. But if you can,if you go ahead and stick with the
truckers, then I will get finalsay on the last. Well, okay,
so I'll tell you this. I'mgoing to convert to the Amish figuratively
because I like my house, inmy electricity and everything else that I got
going on here. Okay, hereso flow. But yeah, so figuratively
I'll convert, and we're gonna I'llgo with you for the Amish. Okay,
(13:48):
Well that's good because this is goingto make for a hell of a
last question because we are going toput the Amish dating site against the Farmer's
only site. Here we go,final question outdoors. Yeah, I'm excited
to let this dog off the leash. Which one of these two would likely
(14:09):
make a better future MMA fighter?Would it be someone from farmers Only or
would it be someone from Amish dating. Okay, And actually, you know
what, since you get to choosethe actual winner, I'll go first that
way, because if you go nowand I disagree, then it's over anyway.
So I'm gonna go first here,all right, go ahead, take
it away. So as far asthe farmers only, they're probably relatively strong
(14:35):
farm Every farmer I've known en,I've shaken his hand, he's crippled.
My poor little feeble baby hand inhis hand, like a like a small
fetus his hand. And they're juststrong fucking people. They're repairing tractors,
hauling hay, doing shit with theirhands all day. And there is a
history of a lot of MMA guysseem to have not a lot, but
(14:56):
at least a notable number do havekind of the Love America farming background as
well as if you're a farmer,the one thing I would give farmers is
they are disciplined. Farming is notan easy job, and if especially if
you have several crops, it's along process. It's slow, it's methodical,
and that's the way that MMA isas well. And the fact that
(15:18):
you have to be disciplined about yourapproach. You just can't go in there
swinging fast. You have you canserve your energy. You have to work
out, you have to diet.Well, we've already said they probably have
a good diet, so right there, you're gonna have farmers being already historically
pretty good at MMA or at leastsome, but with the Homish diet,
I'm thinking, you know where farmersare country strong? Fuck that man.
(15:39):
The Amish people, they're not fuckingaround with tractors and shit. They're bench
pressing cows and hauling wagons with theirteeth and shit. And well what teeth
they don't have. They don't haveto worry about getting hit in the mouth
because they don't have as many teethto begin with. The farmers concerned about
as precious pearls. And it's Amishguy's like, fuck, you know what,
you're my teeth out. Key's herefrom going to the dentist and pulling
(16:00):
it out with the pliers. Sogo go for a bitch. And then
finally, I'd love to see someBJJ bitch try to choke out a guy
with a neck as strong as theirfucking breath is, because this guy's neck
is probably like a fucking wrought ironskillet. I mean you're just not gonna
do any damage to it. SoI'm thinking I would love to see I'd
(16:22):
love to see an MMA guy justtry to tustle with an Amish guy.
I'm under the impression that's the funnything. When I see Amish people on
shows. A lot of times yousee him and some of them are squirrely
looking. But when I've seen likereal Amish people, these fucking guys are
I wouldn't want any fucking thing todo with him. I have a feeling
the name my ass. So I'mgoing to go with the amishka being the
(16:42):
better future MMA fighter. As well. As we were talking about discipline,
these motherfuckers are super disciplined too,because they don't they don't even have electricity,
Like, fuck off, I don'tneed electricity. I'm very true,
very true. So I'm going withthe Amish. So, Sean, this
is yours to either agree with meor agree and change the answer. It's
up to you. Who do youhave? All right, Well, if
(17:03):
it's between a farmer and an Amishperson for a future MMA fighter, you
make a good point for both they'reactually similar. So it's yeah, I
feel like, could an Amish personbe on farmers only or but or not,
probably not because they have to Like, how do they have they even
on this Amish dating site? Huh? How are they even on Amish dating
(17:25):
if they can't use electricity? Isthat a thing? That's a good point
too. This is a real side. They're they're going to the local town
somewhere else and going on the librarycomputer and trying to get a match.
And I'm not sure. Maybe theAmish dating site is just a bulletin board
in the town square with like notecards on it. That's that could be
true. That's a non electronic wayof seeing what's out there. But also
(17:51):
I feel like Amish dating. Imean, I I don't know how big
of an Amish community there actually is, like, but I feel like they
would Why would they need Amish dating? And they probably all like are relatively
familiar with each other or can seteach other up. So they're actually two
hundred fifty one thousand Amish people inthe United States, in Canada, Okay,
and most of them live in Pennsylvaniaright according to the Ihose state I
(18:15):
don't know, I'm yeah, Ijust pulled up the fucking Wikipedia article.
That's all I got here. Wego Pennsylvania. You're right. As of
twenty twenty, oh shit, they'reblowing up. Back in twenty ten,
they're only fifty nine. Twenty twentythey're eighty one thousand. Wow, I
guess Amish dating's working. They're they'regetting down with it over there. They're
procreating like motherfucker's over here. Uh. And I agree that you said,
(18:40):
like a farmer is going to belike a stronger fighter, but an Amish
fighter might be a little more scrappier. It might be a little dirtier,
yeah, in the ring, no, you know, physically figure till the
I literally might be a little dirtier. But I think I'm gonna have to
go with the farmer, all right, farmer, like you said, country
strong, someone that's disciplined, somebodythat's sort of like a take no shit
(19:06):
mentality, and someone that's just gonnago in there and handle business like they
do every day, day in dayout. An Amish person they're gonna get
into their ring, and first ofall, I don't even how they're even
gonna know what MMA fighting is.If we're being technical. They might have
never seen it on TV before andthey might not know, you know,
they're in the ring and all ofa sudden they got their head beat in
(19:29):
for they don't know what reason.There was no prior argument, There was
no carriage or wagon collision between another, between two wagons or something. There
was no reason to fight. Theyjust find themselves that they're great, cares
to Bacle of seventeen thirty. Yeah, they just might find themselves in an
octagon going looking at somebody else andthen all of a sudden, what little
(19:49):
teeth they have or in the backof their throat. You know, I
don't disagree. Like I said,I couldn't gone either way. I think
you're right. Your argument is valid, and both of these were good answers.
It was better than some like glutenfree soy boy making it to the
last round. You might probably needa little bit of gluten to to give
(20:10):
you that extra Yeah, And Idon't think that given the meth to meth
to body ratio of the average trucker. Oh no, Tucker, Well truckers,
I think you might have said before, But a trucker is they would
come out swinging hard, Yeah,and they would gas themselves out and you
(20:30):
know, no pun intended. Theywould be gone in about thirty seconds.
Just they would go in flying punches, flying, kicking everything, limbs everywhere.
Yeah, they would either tire themselvesout or they would leave themselves open
to a knockout blow. It's probablypretty hard to train with a speedball in
one hand and a hustler magazine andso exactly. So yeah, I think
(20:52):
we picked the best too for thefinal round, even though we didn't know
what the question was. We actuallydid, but we weren't planning for that.
They don't need to know that.Ah, you know what, I
don't. I pull the curtain backevery once in a while. So yes,
I set the questions up and Iset the brackets up, but we
really don't have the winners predicted beforehand. And I have been surprised on many
of occasion, but this time itjust actually worked out for the best the
(21:15):
farmers, even though they beat mybeloved Amish, all two hundred and fifty
one thousand of them. Props tothe Amish folks. I don't know if
any Amish saying I can throw outto you people. I thought you're gonna
say, props to the Amish folks. We know you're not listening. Props
to you for not listening. Yeah, fuck the Amish people. You're not
You're not subscribing to me anyway,so so fuck you and your whole milk
(21:40):
straight out of the cow's utterer.So with all that said, I think
we're done with this episode. Farmersonly dating website and Farmers in general.
The big winner on this wag bracket, but the even bigger winner is my
audience, because I had on agreat guest. Again, as I've mentioned
before, one h three point nineShawn's famous Sean, not the Shawn that
(22:03):
got fucking sucks. I told youthat last episode. I wanted to remind
you this is the real deal.Sea n So, Sean, why don't
you tell our people how to reachout to you on the social media platforms
and emails or whatever else you wantto say? All right, definitely,
Mike. So if you guys wantto reach out to me on Instagram,
my Instagram is one oh three pointnine the Sewn. On Twitter, I
(22:26):
am one O three nine the Sean. There's no period in between the three
and the nine because Twitter doesn't allowa period in your user name. And
if you want to email me,my email is one oh three point nine
The Sean at gmail dot com onceagain. I have a comedy podcast discussing
random things from life, a littlebit of stand up comedy, and I
(22:48):
also throw in awful dating profiles becausethose are very entertaining, as I discussed
about before. And my latest episodethat's out right now is with two women
from the Dater's Gonna Date podcast andwe broke down the full episode worth of
cringe e bios. So if that'syour type of thing, then head on
(23:11):
over to my show and I wouldappreciate it very much. All right,
well, that sounds great, andthank you Sean for being a guest,
and I will tell my folks howto reach out to me on the social
media platforms. You can reach meat whack brackets on the instagrams and the
tweeters. I'm also whack brackets abouteverywhere else, Facebook, Twitch, snapchats.
(23:32):
I'm trying to think of where elseI am Farmers only gluten free singles.
Reach out to me on any ofthose sites, if you're listening again,
Hammered Haughty sixty nine. That's mysecret identity on those sites. But
my my other identity I reached outto you at was short Daddy along stroking
just you can reach me on myonly fans page. It's short Daddy along
(23:56):
stroking. Seriously, you can actuallyinto if you want to send me an
email, you can do that bysending it to me. It's Short Daddy
longstroking at wackbrackets dot com. Iwill get anything at wackbrackets dot com.
And if you don't mind subscribing tomy podcast, give me some free down
notes. I need that. Orif you don't want to subscribe, that's
cool, but think about giving mea nice review over an Apple podcast.
(24:18):
Doing the shame for Sean while you'reat it and listen to his podcast.
But once again, Sean, thankyou for being a guest, everybodying up
with all my technical difficulties. Fora guy that does computer shit, you
would think that I don't know jackshit, and I apologize, but thank
you for your patience and you're willingnessto be on the Wack Brackets podcast.
Absolutely no problem at all and thiswas fun and I appreciate it. Thanks
(24:40):
again, man, thank you andwe'll see you later. Bye,
Welcome to Whack Brackets, the podcastI Found true Love on Bumble, Yes
talking about you, Hammered Haughty sixtynine. I'm your host, Mike,
and today we will be bracketing offunique dating websites. And I'm going to
do this with a veteran of thedating site trolling life himself as well as
(00:22):
a veteran of this show. Ithink you're on one of my first shows,
maybe my second. Somewhere between thesecond and fourth episode I have on
again, please welcome the Man,the Myth, the person who breaks hearts
and ruins tender profiles. I haveon Sean from one h three point nine
(00:42):
of the Sean How are you today, Sean? I'm doing well. Mike
again, that was an awesome intro. I appreciate it. And Hammered Haughtie
sixty nine. I might have seenher on bumble I feel like I have.
You know, I saw her andso that got me deep diving to
find out Hammered Hottie sixty eight.There wasn't any I couldn't find her.
(01:03):
I was kind of really disappointed forsome reason. I don't know why Hammered
Hottie chose to got get rid ofall the other numbers and just chose sixty
nine. Maybe you could explain thatto me, but I'm befuddled. Yeah,
I'm not really sure if we wantto get into all that right now,
but we'll save that. We'll savethat for my next appearance on one
(01:25):
oh three point nine of the show. Yeah, she's got other ideas.
Yeah she has a few. Ibet, at least gauging from her pictures,
she had a few. So withall that said, Sean, we've
kind of touched on what you doat one oh three point nine The Shawan,
But why don't you tell my loyallisteners here exactly what it is you
(01:46):
do? Absolutely well, My showis a fake radio show is a podcast,
of course, and on my showI talk about my daily life.
I try to include some comical comedianstories, and at the end of every
episode, I will usually include someawful dating profiles that I've come across,
(02:08):
either on bumble Hinge or Match.There's a lot of to use your show's
name, wacky profiles out there,things that are unpleasant or head scratchers or
downright terrifying. And to give youa quick example that I haven't even talked
(02:29):
about yet on my show, theother night, I was on Hinge and
on Hinge not sure if you've everheard of Hinge because I know you're a
married guy, have not, ButHinge you can have videos on there,
like a little quick video segment.So I'm scrolling through this girl and you
know right away it was a no. But you know, I'm just gonna
for the content on my show.I go through everybody's profile. Sure,
(02:52):
So this girl had multiple piercings thatwere just very unpleasant looking, and she
she looked kind of like a Worldof Warcraft character. It was just too
much going on. It was.It was not very attractive. So she's
like in the new Mortal Kombat movie, then, yes, probably, And
(03:12):
so anyway, I'm scrolling down andI see that she has a video clip
posted one in one section and itwas I don't know whose feet, but
there was there was a condom thatwas placed over both persons feet, whoever's
feet they were. It was soit was a condom wrapped around both feet
that were like jammed next to eachother. And the girl whose profile it
(03:37):
was was she like held the person'sfeet with the condom in her hand and
like licked down the foot with thecondom and it was I was just like,
I don't know who that's attracting,But as long as both parties are
multiple parties are okay with it,then I guess they could do what they
(03:57):
wanted their own home. But Itotally agree. I'm not going to kink
shame somebody, but that's getting alittle weird. I'm fine with foot fetishes
and I'm fine with safe sex.Whatever you do, let your free flag
fly on the foot fetishes and safesex is something that all young folks and
single folks should do, and marriedfolks cheating on their wife. But as
far as a condom on feet,that's taking. I've heard of guys having
(04:21):
a foot long dick, but nota foot for a dick. That profile
of a very bad taste in mymouth and probably in hers too, to
coin them off the feet. So, needless to say, that's exactly the
kind of tomfoolery and shenanigans that Shawngets in over at the one h three
(04:43):
point nine of the Shawn Podcast.But if you have not checked out my
podcast before, I would tell youthese shenanigans we are going to perform today.
We will be asking the burning questionsyou never knew you wanted answered until
we ask them. We will bringon fellow podcasters and friends of the show,
such as Sean here, and wewill brack it off similar contestants using
(05:04):
irrelevant, ever changing questions. SoSean again. Because I needed an expert,
I brought on the heavy hitter tobrack it off. Unique dating websites,
none of which you've mentioned on yourshow. I don't believe, which
I'm kind of heartbroken about. Maybethis will give you some new material.
That's true, I might need tobranch out for the people who are on
(05:26):
some of the dating apps that arelesser known. That's right, and we
will be discussing those apps in thiswag bracket, with the first question being
which site members probably have a longerlife expectancy. Would it be the members
at Farmers Only or would it bemembers at Gluten Free Singles. My answer
for this one longer life expectancy FarmersOnly are gluten free Singles. I am
(05:51):
going to have to go with theFarmers Only. I don't know if it's
going to shock you, maybe you'llagree. My reasoning is farmers You know,
farming has been around for thousands ofyears, and if you're a farmer.
You're up early, you're in bedearly, you're getting a good workout
in my opinion, you're outside,you're getting vitamin D, you're probably eating
(06:13):
a semi nutritious diet, and youryour lifestyle is pretty simple. It's calm,
it's not a lot of stress.You're you're doing your own thing.
And I feel like the farmers aregonna have a longer life than the gluten
free singles. Okay, anything youwant to add about the gluten free singles
positive negative, as far as glutenfree singles gluten free, I get that
(06:38):
certain people have allergies. I guessthey have an allergy to it, and
it doesn't settle right, they can'tdigest it, they avoid it. There's
plenty of other options out there,and I was quite shocked at hearing that
there was a gluten free dating site, right, I might have to check
it out just for my show.Like I was saying, but if you're
avoiding gluten that doesn't mean you're eatinghealthy foods or exercising or anything like that.
(07:05):
So there's plenty other bad options thatyou might be taking that they're not
going to lead to a healthy life. No, I agree, And if
you're on gluten free singles, probablyavoid anyone with the name bread fan because
they're out to kill you. Butas far as these two go, farmers
only gluten free singles, I thinkI'm gonna agree with you on this farmers
(07:28):
only. Of course, farmers aregonna eat less preservatives inhale, less pesticides.
But the thing is, I guessif you want to swing it the
other way, of course they're healthyfrom farming too, but they're probably more
likely to be involved in dangerous farmingaccidents or to catch a dangerous and uncurable
STD from slow cows and lazy sheep. As far as gluten free singles,
(07:50):
I actually did a little bit ofresearch and it does, at least from
what I read, gluten free dietstend to have a lot more processed food
in them. I guess people areeating process means. I didn't go deeply
into the article because I'm very mucha surface level googler here when it when
it comes to understanding dietary needs,especially of gluten, because I love fucking
(08:13):
bread too much. Yeah, Butthat being said is that would to me
lead to a lower quality of lifeby not being able to have noodles and
bread, So at that point you'reprobably more depressed. Yeah, I like,
yeah, I'm a big fan ofcards. Anytime I'm at out of
the restaurant, I asked for extragluten. It can be gluten with the
(08:35):
side of gluten exactly, pour iton. Yeah, there's there's to pour
some sugar on me song. Andthen if you really want to kill somebody
of the gluten free singles, poursome gluten on me. I can't believe
it's not gluten. This could goon all day, but we will let
the Farmer's Only website go on tothe final round of the Short and Whack
(08:56):
bracket against the winner of this question. Okay, well, actually I'm going
to tell you the participants first.This time we have Amish Dating versus Trucker
Passions, whose site probably averages theleast amount of teeth per member. Wow,
that's a tough one. I feellike you can make a case either
(09:18):
way, honestly, and I knowyou always got evidence for both. I'll
probably go with the Trucker side becausethey're most likely eating a worst diet.
Kind of goes along with our firstquestion. Their diet probably gonna be worse.
A lot of soda keep them upat night driving those long hours,
mountain dues, all that type ofred bull stuff, and not thinking that
(09:41):
they're going to be the type ofperson that's always gonna consistently keep up with
their six months dental check. Right, as far as the Amish go,
their diet probably simpler. This isa very food related episode. To me.
It feels like diet's probably simpler.And they you know, they're no
electricity or anything like that. Theykind of live a simpler life, just
(10:03):
like the farmers. And I feellike they got they gotta have like a
town dentist somewhere checking them in.You know, they're not They're they're like
a smaller community, right, They'renot really straying far and they you know,
what the fuck else are they reallydoing? But the question is is
is that dentist using proper equipment orare they just pulling three thousand pliers?
(10:26):
Yeah? Um, well we saidless fewer teeth. We're not saying what's
really happening at the dentist's office,right, fewer teeth? Remember, per
Remember I'm probably gonna stick with thetruckers. What's what are your thoughts?
All? Right? Well, betweenthe obligatory Matthews, the barroom scuffles,
the risky sexual behavior, the baddiet, and less access to a consistent
(10:50):
washroom. I would agree with youfor Trucker passions, but I think the
question lends itself to teeth, notnecessarily good teeth. So I'm going to
guess that while most of their teethmay be black or avity filled, they
still have them more often whereas Amishdating. The thing is is a lot
(11:13):
of these communities are very well segregatedfrom regular communities, and they don't generally
have good hygiene with teeth. They'reprobably brushing their teeth with like potato toothpaste
and flossing with a rope they usedto tether their cows with. Yeah,
just whatever they can get their grubbymits on. And I did start reading
(11:35):
about the Amish, and they didsay that they are notoriously do have bad
teeth. What article in general claimedthey had healthier teeth on average than the
average American, but they also admittedthat Amish people have no problem pulling teeth
(11:56):
whether they're bad or not, andthat only ave of the Amish floss daily
and less than thirty three percent brushtheir teeth at least once daily. Wow,
why would they pull a good tooth? I don't understand that. It's
a thing I'm telling you. Imean, are you're that hard pressed for
some cash from the tooth faerry?I don't think they believe in that tough.
(12:18):
I get it, we're still waitingfor some stimulus money. But holy
shit, But not only that.I would also guess, and this is
just me guessing here, is thatespecially on a site like Amish dating,
since having no teeth is kind oflike a luxury, it sounds like it's
like toothless Amish women could be abig sexual turn on for God. Yeah,
(12:39):
I mean they might be a hitat those trucker stops. That's you
know what they That's true when whenyou're on the run from your Amish community
just go to the truck or stopand just live your best life. Yeah,
I mean there's some crazy shit goingon there. I don't know if
I don't know if the level ofcondoms on feet but who knows less condom
on feet ratio. I don't thinkthe Amish believe in that shit. I
(13:03):
think that's why they have about thirtyseven kids. But they need help around
the house. Yeah, there's alot of fucking dust to clean when you
ain't got a vacuum cleaner. Soall that said, I am going to
pick the Amish. Do you wouldyou like to stick with the truckers or
would you like to convert to theAmish? Oh my god. If you
convert to the Amish, that meansthat you get final say on the next
(13:24):
question. But if you can,if you go ahead and stick with the
truckers, then I will get finalsay on the last. Well, okay,
so I'll tell you this. I'mgoing to convert to the Amish figuratively
because I like my house, inmy electricity and everything else that I got
going on here. Okay, hereso flow. But yeah, so figuratively
I'll convert, and we're gonna I'llgo with you for the Amish. Okay,
(13:48):
Well that's good because this is goingto make for a hell of a
last question because we are going toput the Amish dating site against the Farmer's
only site. Here we go,final question outdoors. Yeah, I'm excited
to let this dog off the leash. Which one of these two would likely
(14:09):
make a better future MMA fighter?Would it be someone from farmers Only or
would it be someone from Amish dating. Okay, And actually, you know
what, since you get to choosethe actual winner, I'll go first that
way, because if you go nowand I disagree, then it's over anyway.
So I'm gonna go first here,all right, go ahead, take
it away. So as far asthe farmers only, they're probably relatively strong
(14:35):
farm Every farmer I've known en,I've shaken his hand, he's crippled.
My poor little feeble baby hand inhis hand, like a like a small
fetus his hand. And they're juststrong fucking people. They're repairing tractors,
hauling hay, doing shit with theirhands all day. And there is a
history of a lot of MMA guysseem to have not a lot, but
(14:56):
at least a notable number do havekind of the Love America farming background as
well as if you're a farmer,the one thing I would give farmers is
they are disciplined. Farming is notan easy job, and if especially if
you have several crops, it's along process. It's slow, it's methodical,
and that's the way that MMA isas well. And the fact that
(15:18):
you have to be disciplined about yourapproach. You just can't go in there
swinging fast. You have you canserve your energy. You have to work
out, you have to diet.Well, we've already said they probably have
a good diet, so right there, you're gonna have farmers being already historically
pretty good at MMA or at leastsome, but with the Homish diet,
I'm thinking, you know where farmersare country strong? Fuck that man.
(15:39):
The Amish people, they're not fuckingaround with tractors and shit. They're bench
pressing cows and hauling wagons with theirteeth and shit. And well what teeth
they don't have. They don't haveto worry about getting hit in the mouth
because they don't have as many teethto begin with. The farmers concerned about
as precious pearls. And it's Amishguy's like, fuck, you know what,
you're my teeth out. Key's herefrom going to the dentist and pulling
(16:00):
it out with the pliers. Sogo go for a bitch. And then
finally, I'd love to see someBJJ bitch try to choke out a guy
with a neck as strong as theirfucking breath is, because this guy's neck
is probably like a fucking wrought ironskillet. I mean you're just not gonna
do any damage to it. SoI'm thinking I would love to see I'd
(16:22):
love to see an MMA guy justtry to tustle with an Amish guy.
I'm under the impression that's the funnything. When I see Amish people on
shows. A lot of times yousee him and some of them are squirrely
looking. But when I've seen likereal Amish people, these fucking guys are
I wouldn't want any fucking thing todo with him. I have a feeling
the name my ass. So I'mgoing to go with the amishka being the
(16:42):
better future MMA fighter. As well. As we were talking about discipline,
these motherfuckers are super disciplined too,because they don't they don't even have electricity,
Like, fuck off, I don'tneed electricity. I'm very true,
very true. So I'm going withthe Amish. So, Sean, this
is yours to either agree with meor agree and change the answer. It's
up to you. Who do youhave? All right, Well, if
(17:03):
it's between a farmer and an Amishperson for a future MMA fighter, you
make a good point for both they'reactually similar. So it's yeah, I
feel like, could an Amish personbe on farmers only or but or not,
probably not because they have to Like, how do they have they even
on this Amish dating site? Huh? How are they even on Amish dating
(17:25):
if they can't use electricity? Isthat a thing? That's a good point
too. This is a real side. They're they're going to the local town
somewhere else and going on the librarycomputer and trying to get a match.
And I'm not sure. Maybe theAmish dating site is just a bulletin board
in the town square with like notecards on it. That's that could be
true. That's a non electronic wayof seeing what's out there. But also
(17:51):
I feel like Amish dating. Imean, I I don't know how big
of an Amish community there actually is, like, but I feel like they
would Why would they need Amish dating? And they probably all like are relatively
familiar with each other or can seteach other up. So they're actually two
hundred fifty one thousand Amish people inthe United States, in Canada, Okay,
and most of them live in Pennsylvaniaright according to the Ihose state I
(18:15):
don't know, I'm yeah, Ijust pulled up the fucking Wikipedia article.
That's all I got here. Wego Pennsylvania. You're right. As of
twenty twenty, oh shit, they'reblowing up. Back in twenty ten,
they're only fifty nine. Twenty twentythey're eighty one thousand. Wow, I
guess Amish dating's working. They're they'regetting down with it over there. They're
procreating like motherfucker's over here. Uh. And I agree that you said,
(18:40):
like a farmer is going to belike a stronger fighter, but an Amish
fighter might be a little more scrappier. It might be a little dirtier,
yeah, in the ring, no, you know, physically figure till the
I literally might be a little dirtier. But I think I'm gonna have to
go with the farmer, all right, farmer, like you said, country
strong, someone that's disciplined, somebodythat's sort of like a take no shit
(19:06):
mentality, and someone that's just gonnago in there and handle business like they
do every day, day in dayout. An Amish person they're gonna get
into their ring, and first ofall, I don't even how they're even
gonna know what MMA fighting is.If we're being technical. They might have
never seen it on TV before andthey might not know, you know,
they're in the ring and all ofa sudden they got their head beat in
(19:29):
for they don't know what reason.There was no prior argument, There was
no carriage or wagon collision between another, between two wagons or something. There
was no reason to fight. Theyjust find themselves that they're great, cares
to Bacle of seventeen thirty. Yeah, they just might find themselves in an
octagon going looking at somebody else andthen all of a sudden, what little
(19:49):
teeth they have or in the backof their throat. You know, I
don't disagree. Like I said,I couldn't gone either way. I think
you're right. Your argument is valid, and both of these were good answers.
It was better than some like glutenfree soy boy making it to the
last round. You might probably needa little bit of gluten to to give
(20:10):
you that extra Yeah, And Idon't think that given the meth to meth
to body ratio of the average trucker. Oh no, Tucker, Well truckers,
I think you might have said before, But a trucker is they would
come out swinging hard, Yeah,and they would gas themselves out and you
(20:30):
know, no pun intended. Theywould be gone in about thirty seconds.
Just they would go in flying punches, flying, kicking everything, limbs everywhere.
Yeah, they would either tire themselvesout or they would leave themselves open
to a knockout blow. It's probablypretty hard to train with a speedball in
one hand and a hustler magazine andso exactly. So yeah, I think
(20:52):
we picked the best too for thefinal round, even though we didn't know
what the question was. We actuallydid, but we weren't planning for that.
They don't need to know that.Ah, you know what, I
don't. I pull the curtain backevery once in a while. So yes,
I set the questions up and Iset the brackets up, but we
really don't have the winners predicted beforehand. And I have been surprised on many
of occasion, but this time itjust actually worked out for the best the
(21:15):
farmers, even though they beat mybeloved Amish, all two hundred and fifty
one thousand of them. Props tothe Amish folks. I don't know if
any Amish saying I can throw outto you people. I thought you're gonna
say, props to the Amish folks. We know you're not listening. Props
to you for not listening. Yeah, fuck the Amish people. You're not
You're not subscribing to me anyway,so so fuck you and your whole milk
(21:40):
straight out of the cow's utterer.So with all that said, I think
we're done with this episode. Farmersonly dating website and Farmers in general.
The big winner on this wag bracket, but the even bigger winner is my
audience, because I had on agreat guest. Again, as I've mentioned
before, one h three point nineShawn's famous Sean, not the Shawn that
(22:03):
got fucking sucks. I told youthat last episode. I wanted to remind
you this is the real deal.Sea n So, Sean, why don't
you tell our people how to reachout to you on the social media platforms
and emails or whatever else you wantto say? All right, definitely,
Mike. So if you guys wantto reach out to me on Instagram,
my Instagram is one oh three pointnine the Sewn. On Twitter, I
(22:26):
am one O three nine the Sean. There's no period in between the three
and the nine because Twitter doesn't allowa period in your user name. And
if you want to email me,my email is one oh three point nine
The Sean at gmail dot com onceagain. I have a comedy podcast discussing
random things from life, a littlebit of stand up comedy, and I
(22:48):
also throw in awful dating profiles becausethose are very entertaining, as I discussed
about before. And my latest episodethat's out right now is with two women
from the Dater's Gonna Date podcast andwe broke down the full episode worth of
cringe e bios. So if that'syour type of thing, then head on
(23:11):
over to my show and I wouldappreciate it very much. All right,
well, that sounds great, andthank you Sean for being a guest,
and I will tell my folks howto reach out to me on the social
media platforms. You can reach meat whack brackets on the instagrams and the
tweeters. I'm also whack brackets abouteverywhere else, Facebook, Twitch, snapchats.
(23:32):
I'm trying to think of where elseI am Farmers only gluten free singles.
Reach out to me on any ofthose sites, if you're listening again,
Hammered Haughty sixty nine. That's mysecret identity on those sites. But
my my other identity I reached outto you at was short Daddy along stroking
just you can reach me on myonly fans page. It's short Daddy along
(23:56):
stroking. Seriously, you can actuallyinto if you want to send me an
email, you can do that bysending it to me. It's Short Daddy
longstroking at wackbrackets dot com. Iwill get anything at wackbrackets dot com.
And if you don't mind subscribing tomy podcast, give me some free down
notes. I need that. Orif you don't want to subscribe, that's
cool, but think about giving mea nice review over an Apple podcast.
(24:18):
Doing the shame for Sean while you'reat it and listen to his podcast.
But once again, Sean, thankyou for being a guest, everybodying up
with all my technical difficulties. Fora guy that does computer shit, you
would think that I don't know jackshit, and I apologize, but thank
you for your patience and you're willingnessto be on the Wack Brackets podcast.
Absolutely no problem at all and thiswas fun and I appreciate it. Thanks
(24:40):
again, man, thank you andwe'll see you later. Bye,
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