Mike is joined yet again by Daniel from the Moustachioed Podastio and Chris and Joe from Hot Takes and Cold Beers to partake in too many alcoholic beverages while bracketing off Infomercials!
Big Mouth Billy Bass vs Shake Weight
Hair in a Can vs Snuggie
Championship!
Big Mouth Billy Bass vs Shake Weight
Hair in a Can vs Snuggie
Championship!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Well, I'm going to whack Brackets, the podcast that used to buy all
of its friends Chris's gifts from QBC, but it doesn't have to worry about
that anymore because it no longer hasany friends. I'm your host, Mike,
and on this episode again. Thisis the second episode of the night,
which you won't know because this willprobably come out a month and a
half after the first one. Butwe've all been drinking. It's all good.
(00:24):
I have on Daniel from the Mustachioedpunqestio, as well as Chris and
Joe from the Hot Takes and ColdBeers podcast. How are you fellas doing
tonight? What's up? I'm Chris? Really, really, what's up?
(00:45):
I'm actually Chris, So you'd haveto listen to our last episode to know,
or maybe our preamble that we had. Yeah, this is Chris's pickup
line at bars to talk to lady. I like it, honestly like it.
I think it makes him humble.He's got a good smile, he's
(01:07):
got a good mustache. This guywould do all right. Sometimes all you
need is what's up? I'm Chris. I mean it works for him pulling
a beer mug up to his chestand his beard is dipping into the beer
just brings it all together. What'sup really really ties the room together,
(01:27):
dude, As does the guy Fieriposter on your back when you when your
back wall there, Yeah yeah,flavor Town. Yeah, when you're bringing
those girls home from the dive barand they see that, that's when you
know it's all I bring Flavor Town. Everybody knows that because that beard keeps
(01:51):
all that exactly. So with allthat said, that's probably the best slash
worst intro I've ever had to whitebrackets, and I'm all in for this.
That is Daniel Mustachio podcast. Youknow Chris and Joe from the Hot
Taps and Gold Beers, and weare going to be bracketing off infomercials in
(02:13):
this wag bracket. Before I sayanything more, I'm gonna tell you what
a white bracket is. If younot checked out whack brackets before we are
asking the burning questions you never knewyou wanted to ask us answered until we
ask them. I will bring onfellow podcasters and friends of the show such
as Joe and Chris and Daniel,and we will bracket off irrelevant, ever
(02:36):
changing questions. If you guys areready, I am ready to start the
podcast. Ye, let's do it, okay. Question number one, we
are going to brack it off theshake Weight against the big mouth billy Bass.
Out of these two, which wouldyou be more embarrassed to be caught
(02:57):
on videotape enjoying? We'll start offwith Chris in this episode, Bro,
you don't want you don't want tobe caught on tape enjoying the shake Weight
infomercial. I mean, let's behonest, all right, picture this.
Everybody put your time caps on,right, and you go back and you're
(03:22):
like, I don't know, teneleven, twelve years old, whenever you're
starting to discover yourself a little bit. And the shake Weight commercial comes on
and there's this girl in nothing butlike short shorts and like a sports bra,
right, and she's doing this.She's like shake weighting it up right,
(03:45):
and you're like, oh shit,she looks happy. Yeah, she
looks super happy. It's like thatSouth Park episode. Right, Yes,
yes, Stannon, yes, gogo faster, go faster. Oh some
money for taxi? Um? Yeah, man, that's way more embarrassing than
the big mouth billy Bass. Bro. The big mouth lady shout out to
(04:09):
the big mouth billy bass. Istill want one of those for my man
cave, because nobody's ever shouted outthe big mouth billy bass. Shout out,
billy bass. Take me to theref bro, drop me in the
water. Come on, man,you don't want one of those in your
man cave? What's wrong with you? Those things are awesome? Shake weight
(04:30):
all day. That's more embarrassing toget caught on film enjoying day, Joe,
what do you think? I'm probablygonna lose this round. But here,
here's what I'm gonna say, becauseyou said, which one is more
embarrassing to be caught on videotape enjoying? Is what you said? Yeah?
Yeah, So it depends on howyou are quote unquote enjoying big mouth billy
(04:57):
bass again because it's whack brackets.This is open to your interpretation. But
if you are, if you're makingsweet love to that billy bass shaking mouth,
that may be way worse than ashake weight. I have to probably
vibraids if you come in on meusing a shake weight and I'm I'm glistening
with sweat and just shaking the funkout of that way, and you just
(05:19):
you just see me shaking. Yousee, my muscles are covered in baby
oil for some reason. And youdon't know why. You're gonna be embarrassed
by the greatness, because you're gonnabe like, holy shit, shake weight
works. Big mouth billy bass isso to me, it's just creepy uncle
and his basement territory. To me. I'm sure there's people that PTSD when
they hear big, big mouth billybass seeing and I'm just saying, I
(05:44):
gotta say if I just could notdo the big mouth, I get I
get the I get the you know, I do get it. I get
it. It's funny having get inyour man cave. It's just not my
style. I wouldn't want it inmy dwelling. I don't think it's smooth.
I'm not a big fan of stickyan think of my man cave,
but especially something as large as thebig Cave. So I gotta go with
(06:09):
shake Weight. Okay, so we'retoo and old for the shake weight.
Oh wait, I gotta go withbig mouth billy bass. Everybody, Okay,
that's what I thought. But Ithought I want I didn't. I
didn't want to like shit on yourselection. So Joe, we have a
split so far, who do youhave? All right, So, as
you said, it's to my interpretation, right, you said, this is
(06:30):
the most embarrassing to get on tapeand enjoying. Right now, we were
all thirteen one time, and fora lot of us it wasn't so easy
to log onto the internet and findmaterial to um, you know, you
know, I'm gonna leave it there, So sometimes you got to shake weight
(06:51):
and stuffing. Now would that beembarrassing if you got conn tape? It
would be embarrassing? Yeah, welllike no way, yeah, like that's
super embarrassing. But who hasn't donethat? What's your favorite magazine non pornographic
to jerk off to? Yeah,yeah, that's yeah exactly, It's just
(07:16):
it happens, man, It's it'sthere, so like everybody does it.
So if I was caught on likea ring doorbell with the shake Way infomercial
or something, that's just hey,you saw it, that's me. That's
exactly whenever said natural. Now,as you were kind of getting into Daniel,
if you're enjoying yourself in a similarfashion to the big math filling best,
(07:40):
we got some problems, all right, that's not natural and uh,
it just you said it vibrates.I didn't know that. I don't know
vibrates, So I want to knowhow you know that because I didn't know.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. So I gotta go with the
(08:01):
Billy Bess because I feel like,to a certain extent, the shake weight
is natural. So I'm going toBilly Bess. Yeah. I was actually
thinking, again, whack brackets.And this is me being a poor wordsman,
but I was actually thinking the actualdevice and not the infomercial. But
considering this is the infomercial bracket,it makes a lot of sense why people
(08:22):
were taking it in that direction.So with that said, again, you
take this in the direction you wantto. And I've been presented with some
new thought processes because I try tobroaden my horizons during this show. And
as was mentioned with the shake weight, is that people enjoy the motion.
(08:45):
We've all enjoyed the motion when we'relucky enough to have it performed on us,
and when we don't, we performthe motion on ourselves. But sex
aside, the problem with the shakeweight is that you can knock your teeth
that with the motherfucker if you evenshall weight. Yeah, it's like you
(09:07):
know, bop yourself, bro.Depending on which shake weight size you order,
it could be problematic. You justtap it on your cheek a little
bit. Yeah, but but I'mnot even sure this is a valid workout.
I mean, I get that itmakes for a great commercial. I'm
not sure it's a valid workout.But the big valed billy bass, it's
(09:28):
a thing that I think as ayoung child it was at least funny.
Everybody thought it was funny. Thecreepy uncle thought it was funny. Well,
yeah, you're right. You haveto realize that I grew up in
the redneck part of town, theBible belt. Okay, you know what,
But again, I have broadened myhorizons here and I've listened. I've
(09:50):
listened to what everyone is here herehas said. And my original instinct was
that it would be more embarrassing tolike the shake weight and be, oh,
well, this is a great thing. But after being persuaded and not
everyone persuades me on the show,I'm going to go with the big mouth
billy bass because it is red nickyand it would be embarrassing to a have
(10:13):
anything sexually involved on tape, muchmore so than the shake way. If
you were caught using the shake Weightsexually. Sure, it's embarrassing, don't
get me wrong. If you it'sbad enough. If you're caught with something,
that's enough, huh, it's bastenough enough. Yeah. I think
(10:35):
that if you include anything that asings and is animatronics, it's like fucking
the Chucky Cheese figures. That wouldbe like as bad as it gets.
The big mouth billy bass is kindof like a poor man's Chucky Cheese.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, soyeah, I'm gonna go with the big
mouth billy bass here as well.All right, so I think the big
(10:58):
mouth billy that winsdays. Well,there we go. That's unexpected. It
was because I was totally leading shakeWeight, but I was persuaded. No,
I don't know. It happened sometimes, man, it does. I
am about the smartest man in theand I guess you guys love getting caught
masturbating in the morning. I'm youknow, it's a natural year, Chris.
(11:22):
I mean, shit, I gotcaught. I got caught last week.
I was in the Starbucks. Whatand it just happens, you know,
it's a natural thing. I don'tknow why anybody leave your phone connected
to the Bluetooth speaker instead of yourheadphones on. That's how I got caught.
I ordered a puppy Tino and youjust no. I was setting there
(11:46):
and I was watching a video andthen it was like, listen to the
big mouth billy bass sing to you. And so I was like, and
it doesn't work when the big mouthbilly bass sings that. But that said,
next question him, because the bigmouth billy Bass is going to go
on against the winner of this infomercial. See the hair and the can versus
(12:07):
the snuggie, which one of thesetwo items is a less realistic solution to
the problem they were intended to solve. Daniel, this is the easiest bracket
I've ever come across. I need, really the hair and a can.
All you have to do is lookat the old infomercials and realize how absolutely
(12:31):
despicable the human is that decides Iwant to use his kN I mean,
look, I've never used the snuggie, but my ex wife actually did own
one, and that's some of thebitch worked. She loved it. The
dead winner. She always uses snuggieand the hair and a can. Man.
I just think, honestly, Igive more respect to the guy that
(12:52):
wears a wig than the hair anda can. Hair and a can is
the equivalent of putting a sock inyour pants, so it looks like you're
packing. You know what I mean, We all know what you're doing and
it's sad, so I gotta gowith haroon. A can is a less
realistic solution to a problem. Allright, Joe, what do you have?
(13:15):
So for me? This is uh, this is interesting because the real
question here is what is the problem? You know what I mean? Now,
if you're talking here and it canyour problem is you're balding on top,
as some men do, and youspread your hair up on there.
Okay, that's a problem. Snuggie, you're cold, but you want to
(13:35):
have the use of your arms againa problem. Now if you take this
a different direction, Snuggie, you'recold. You want to be wrapped up
with your hands for something. I'mgoing sexual here again. I'm sorry.
I'm just gonna go out and sayit. But your hands are free,
Yeah, your hands are free.You can do what you want while story
man covered. Now. I don'tknow about you, guys, Chris,
and that from the north, thatcan be a problem. You're sitting on
(13:58):
the couch, your your horny,you want to get it on and but
you're going to get that shape weightaction going. So Joe, you have
a little hole at the very bottleof your snuggie, just like they don't.
They don't. They don't come likethat. They should. If they
don't, they should. I thinkwe just pitched a million dollar idea right
(14:20):
there. Yeah, I'm just sayingit depends what the problem is. Now,
the most unrealistic to solve a snugit keeps you warm. Can't really
argue with that, regardless of whatyour activities are. Hairing the can now,
I think it would work to anextent because you spray it on there
and it looks like you got afoehead of hair or whatever. But I
just like to picture like a guythat's completely bald that is like sprays spray
(14:43):
paints, and I don't know,so I'll probably go with hairing the canto.
All right, Well, I'm gonnajump in here and at least make
an argument and make Chris solve this, and maybe you're gonna split. But
you know what, here's the thingwith a snuggie. If you're that cold,
fucking dress accordingly or put on ajacket. I don't understand why you
need a fun put the jacket inon your couch though. Get they fucking
(15:05):
long sleeve shirt were all honey dressappropriate. That's never put sugg No,
I fucking put a stugg age.I can't. I've never used hair in
the can. Why are you gotfucking trashing hair and a cane? Maybe
this whole thing a hair I gotis this is all hair and a cane.
Look at that, I'm pulling uphair and a cane. Oh,
(15:26):
it's totally hair and a cane.How do you know? How do you
know? Same guy that says,don't touch my thervish dad, it's sixty
seven degrees and you're not touching it. Get off my fucking lawn, you
jackal exactly. So No, I'mone hundred percent going with a stuggy here
because there are other alternatives. Now, I will say this. Let me
(15:50):
ask you this. You're a memberof the Blue Man group and somebody like
wiped your fucking head off and yougot like you got a whole bald spot
on here because you rubbed into somethingon the way. What do you need?
Do you need blue hair and acan? You get fucking but what
else is going to solve this foryou? I'm one, Yeah, that's
a just specific example. So I'mgoing one hunder snuggie on this, Chris,
(16:15):
what do you have snuggie? Didyou not see the infomercial? Mike,
Like, I just got to buttin here. Uh. You see
the soccer mom sitting at the soccerfield. They have to snuggie on and
they're taking pictures of the little kids. And that's what blankets. That's you
got a blanket and if you needyour hands, fucking put on a jacket.
I'm just saying your Blue Man groupwas extremely not relevant because they don't
(16:37):
have hair, and it's hair anda can. That's Have you ever touched
the head of a man in theBlue Man group? Have you? I
have? Not? I have?Did you get consent? It was glorious?
Did it hurt a little bit?Songs? Just consensual. It's all
(16:59):
good thing, you know. Um, that's an easy argument for me,
dude. I fucking love snuggies.Uh They're great, They're fucking great.
Uh, They're fantastic. You canbe comfortable and you can also have use
of your hands. Uh. Joetook it in a sexual way. That's
(17:21):
perfect. Joe also took it ina you're at a sporting event and you
would take pictures. Yeah, practical, very awesome event. Also Snuggie,
great invention. Hair and a canthat's so much infomercial probably entertaining. Um,
But yeah, I gotta go withthe hair and the can. That's
(17:41):
the worst one. So in away, I win because hairn a can
wins. Right Yeah, yeah,see this is the way white brackets works.
I cheated. I fucked all youguys. Look at that hairn Akan
goes on the next round. Hooray, I win. But just a spite,
we all voted that Snuggies are better. Stoggies are way better though,
right, yeah, you do youso that's it? Yeah, yeah,
(18:07):
no, I just had to reviewthe question real quick. Yeah, I
was like listening, Wait a second, why is Mike happy on this,
like last realistic solution to the problemthey try to solve. Yes, hair
and a can is absolutely the answeris. But we're just all advocating for
Snuggie. Yeah exactly. Yeah,go out there and buy yourself. Sometimes
(18:30):
when I see something I really wantto go through the next round. I
switched the question in that regard hottakes. That's the way I work.
Go buy a Snuggie because they're awesome. You got to give them. Let's
give them a whirld mike, justonce. They're awesome, you know.
And I always just wear long sleeveshirts like a real man does right now,
(18:56):
and it's perfect border between the sleevesof my shirt and my arm and
a sleep of the snuggie. Itall goes into where's you're snuggie? I
don't see a snuggy. Nobody here'swearing a snuggie. And I'm sitting here
with hair and a can and hairand so said hair and the can goes
on to the next round against whodo we choose the big mouth billy beast.
(19:18):
Yeah, big mouth billy bass onhow one? That one? Alright,
bro, final question. It's gonnabe good and terrible. And this
actually was because I am on anotherpodcast with a couple of great people from
the Rock Hippy podcast. I doa podcast called Music for the Messes where
(19:42):
where we review songs. It's reallyis just songs and we talk about songs.
It's not like as silly as thiswhen we do get a little silly,
but it's fun. But one ofthe songs I picked today was Ludicrous
Southern Hospitality, and I was thinking, and that's how I came up with
this. I was like, Okay, I'm gonna throw this in because I'm
gonna mention that song which one ofthese two items will be better for Ludicrous
(20:07):
to rhyme in a rap song.Would it be that hair and the can
or would it be the big mouthbilly bess Joe? Who do you have?
Oh? This is so tough,man. I wish my friend Ryder
Rose was here because he's like thebest freestyle rapper of all time. Like,
given both of the words and hecome up with something great. Now,
(20:30):
are we assuming that Ludacris is freestylingor this like a whole song built
around the product Ludicris. I'm thinkingit's freestyling. Now. The thing is
about Ludicrous. He's such a goodrapper. You could literally give him anything
and he's gonna come up with somethingdope off the top of his head.
Okay, So all right, allright, So that does change it from
me hair and it can absolutely gottado it. For one, it's almost
(20:52):
rhyming. It's not exactly rhyming,but it's a lot closer than it's catchy.
He got it, and uh,it just seems like I don't know,
Ludacris is like more of a MIC'sage maybe and like so maybe those
guys are kind of finning out ontop, and so maybe Ludacris is chasing
that market. Hey, buy somehannasy, buy some hair and a can.
(21:12):
It goes together. Maybe he shouldmake a package deal where it's all
wrapped together. You buy one bottleof Hennessy, buy one bottle of hair
and a can. It comes together. Get it from your local grocery store.
Yeah, so I gotta go hereand can. So you're actually going
full in that Ludacris is in theinfomercial rapping about these Okay, that's yeah,
(21:33):
oh yeah, absolutely, okay,no, no, no, you
think about the people in the marketfor a big bass what is it,
big bass billy mount whatever it is, big bass billy mottle. What I
was thinking. And again, youcan take this anyway, because I actually
love the way you're taking this,so this may change my answer. My
thinking was the actual item and ifLudacris wrapped the actual big mouth billy bass
(21:56):
or the hair in the can ina rap song, because Ludacris raps all
kinds of crazy shit. I wasthinking just a rap song would be what
he would put this item in.But you sound like you're taking it in
a different direction, which may evenchange. My answer is if Ludacris were
in an infomercial and he had topitch it, because ninety percent of ludicrous
(22:18):
shit is about like drinking beer andfucking hose, and he can't do that
in an infomercial. I just likethe way your accent sounds with fucking hose.
He was fucking hose. No,no, no, I mean it
could go either way from me,like it could be him rapping like putting
the product like into his rap,or him rapping about the product honestly,
(22:42):
go either way. All I knowis that my man, Ludacris is a
huge product placement guy, and Ithink that the market that Ludacris is chasing
these days would be way more receptiveto the hair and a can than the
big no Philly best. I can'tsay for sure, I could would be
wrong, but I don't think alot of guys that have a big Milli
(23:03):
mask whatever it's called. Just reallytwisted my tongue up here. But uh,
whatever you know, the fish thatdances. I don't think a lot
of Ludacris listeners have that. Ithink a lot more of them go for
the hair and a can. That'sjust my take on it. I don't
know whether it's in the rap,whether it's in the commercial either one.
(23:27):
I gotta go with the hair anda can. Okay, Chris, I'm
gonna let you to respond to Joebecause I've got so many things I want
to say at this point. Medo me do? Uh? I spray
a hair, hair and a can. I don't know. I'm not a
rap. Oh, don't do don'tdo this, don't do this. I'm
(23:48):
not gonna do it all. I'mgonna do it. Please, I'll do
it. If you do it,I'll do it. If you do it
makes me want to kill him,man, that's all. I yeah,
I like that. That's all.I makes me want to kill a man.
But Ludacris wouldn't say that. He'dbe like, he'd be a lot
cooler than me. Oh yeah,no offense, you're cool. But Ludicris
(24:08):
is guarantee you if we sent hairand a can to Ludacris said, rhyme
something with this in your song,he'd be like, dope and it would
be the greatest hit of all.So it's got to be hair in a
can. Okay, So we gottwo hairs in a can. Two hairs
in a can, probably multiple hairsin a can, but at least two
(24:29):
hairs in a can. What doyou have, Tony? I can't lie.
I actually was hoping I was hopingSnuggie would make it to this bracket
because I kind of had a littleribe in my head about Snuggie. Oh,
we got to hear the rhyme atleast, you know what, let's
pretend it made it there. Yeah, we gotta hear it. Ryme I
find myself in Kentucky, then Igive this a little bit of money.
Don't remember her day, but shewas quite a honey. And you'll bet
(24:52):
the night into with us is Snuggie'sdope as fun? But you know what,
I think, Harrida can Harrida Cat'sfunny, Like it's just funny to
bring that up. And I feellike Ludacris will probably be like Harron the
Cat, sam my mother fucking stand, can't Batman get me that hair cat
(25:15):
for my door? Bat because he'sa little bit in a punk gass boogie
man. He's way better at itthan zero. Good better, much better,
so much better. I still thinkhard the Cat as funny as though
now, but you know, abig, big bath billy bass is funny
too. I'm you know what youcan You could ride thing about big bath,
(25:38):
big bath billy bass. You cand ass, though, but you
can rhyde with ass. You canrhyme with ass. You can say something
like, um, that's about itthough, yeah, but that that's actually
literally that's like he robs stuff withhis ass. Yeah, I mean maybe
something like after I worked that ash, she slid under the sheet and win
(26:00):
full mouth billy bass. I don'tknow, I'm just the fire man.
That's a gas. So if I'mtrying to think of something with the air
in a can, something like,uh, let me see, she was
a she was a seventies fan.Her patch look like sprayed on hair and
(26:22):
a can. So that's just meguessing. I have no idea where I'm
going with this, but yeah,either way, I think I was out
out gunned with this on hair anda can big billy bass. Either one.
I would say this about my manludicrous and this is just shout out
to Ludicrous, one of the bestrappers of all time when he was in
his prime. This is a guythat like reinvented rap music or tried to.
(26:45):
But and I mentioned this in theother podcast, is that literally Rage
Against the Machine was very similar inthe fact that they like tried to reinvent
music and they were the only peoplethat could do it, and everybody that
tried to do it Oway just soundedlike derivatives. And everybody tried to sound
like Ludacris, sound like a derivativeof Ludacris. But he's that good.
He could rob anything with anything buthair and a can. It's already one.
(27:08):
And I can't disagree. I thinkLudacris would rob her and a cam
with h It's fun. Chris wouldkill Harrin. Oh yeah, he could
probably go off on the whole likenot a whole tangent on that and and
and my from my point of view, I'm telling you, if they mission
Ludacris make a harind cam commercial,he could sell that shit. Yeah,
(27:30):
I'll wrap up Harrion a can bottleof Hennessey. Because I don't know if
you guys know this, but Ludacrissells Hennessey, he owns it. He
owns Hennessey, he owns Tennessee,and yeah, Ludacris owns Tennessee. Yeah,
really shit. And like so ifyou wrap that shit up in a
package deal that's put it in someplastic crap haarona can Hennessey, that shit
(27:51):
would get sold. They just byfor the Hennessey man. Yeah, and
that's why I was gonna thank ifDaniel and Chris were mentioning if they went
the other way, which I didn'tknow. It sound like everybody will with
hair and a can. But youmade a very valid argument, even from
the infomercial side. If it werean infomercial and Ludaca is trying to pitch
an infomercial, he's not gonna pitchbig mouth Billy Bass. I can see
him pitching hair in a can justbecause Ludacris. He'd be like, all
(28:15):
right, I could see that beinga valid use. But he's somebody puts
fucking big mouth. Bill Ban's like, at hell, no, fuck,
you gotta get Larry of the Campbellguy to pitch big mouth. Oh yeah,
that's whatever it's called. I'm actuallylooking up if hair and a can
is something you can still buy isthat something you can still purchase? You
know what, It's not technically calledhair and a can. Okay, it's
(28:37):
called something else. You can probablysee it, but it's like it has
an official name. Nobody knows aboutthe official name, but everybody knows about
hair and a can because it literallyis just spray paint in a can.
Yeah, dude, that sounds miserableunless you're in the Blue Band group,
and then you're gonna love it.Your Chris is on the way. He
has a beanion right now, buthe's on the way. Most of his
(29:00):
hair has migrated down to his face. He'll need the hair and you can
at some point. What's up,I'm Chris damn jo joke being a dick
it bro. Yeah, I knowhe's probably not not wrong, but it's
fine. Bro. Would you looklike he would look cool bald at least,
you know, like work? Yeah, you know. If I'm gonna
(29:21):
go bald, like, I'm justgonna do the full beard or at least
a goatee. You know what I'msaying? Like whatever, Rocket, I
love you, buddy. Hey,it's all it's all love. It's all
love, bro. Mike Tyson says, it's all love. Would you kind
of look like scott Ian from Anthraxa little bit? Oh? Oh,
I fucking love scott Ian bro.Yeah. Me, I've got the long
face like mister Ed, so it'sa good thing I've got a head of
(29:44):
hair. If I didn't, thatwould be all fucking would look like a
dude. Yeah, I'll be likethis was white brackets. In high school.
I used to shave my head likewith the razor, right and really
go to wrestling tournaments, and allmy buddies would convince the guy's wrestling that
(30:04):
I was a cancer kid and they'dlet me win on perfect I'm not I'm
not lying. I'm not lying.Like he actually did this multiple times.
I would shave my head with therazor. My buddies would go to my
opponent and say, hey, he'sgot cancer, you should let him win.
He's only got a couple of yearsleft, and I'd win everybody.
(30:26):
This is why he's so devout ongiving a meat and bread for Lent,
because he's trying to make up forpast sins at this point. Yeah,
that's that's pretty rough. Now letme ask you this only somewhat serious.
Did you encourage your opponent or didyou let him know, dude, I'm
totally healthy. Oh no, hestuck his thumb right on his ass.
He's like, I I took theDerek Lewis, my boss is how to
(30:53):
approach, and I'd kind of likeplay possum for like a little bit,
like oh you heard me and stuff, and then you turn around and put
them on the ground. That's whatyou do. Yea, that's exactly what
balls was hot. Derek Blues says, that's what you did last night.
So anyway, hair and a Canwins. Yeah, I'll finish that up,
(31:17):
Dan, Daniel, Daniel up,want to talk about UFC. With
that said, I think we havea winner for this wag bracket. Daniel
got all pissy about a side conversationwe were at. I just felt like
there was a hole. I waslike, I'll just go ahead and let's
take it to the So, yeah, Daniel's taking over wag Brackets officially at
this point. So with that said, Daniel, why don't you tell everybody
who won tonight? Oh? Yeah, Harrod a can one. Let's go.
(31:41):
Everyone gets get your hair in acan, put it on the head,
put it on. Then who cares? That's right? Were a dope,
belong whatever, also ludicrous. Pleaseuh insert hair and a canny in
your next rap. I would loveit better, bull shit, I keep
up it would know yours was reallygood. Actually, I mean yeah,
(32:02):
you were like freestyle was better thanmine. All I could come up with
hair and a can gonna kill aman. I mean that's all I had,
but you had something better could have. Yeah, yeah, I'm not
sure that a FDA approved that.Being said, I do believe that if
I could just kill a man hasbeen a song that's been pretty much already
(32:22):
done. Yeah twice. Yeah,Cypress Hill kind of Rage covered it.
That's true. So yeah, it'sa good cover. So long story,
short, hair and a can,Ludicrous, shout us out when you get
your hair and a can sponsorship.Probably gonna make a million dollars off of
us tonight. So that's said.Hair and a Can wins our infomercial wag
(32:45):
bragging again. We had on Chrisand Joe from Hot Takes and Cold Beers
and Daniel from The Mustachio Bad Castio. I'm gonna let Daniel start out and
tell you where you can hit himup on the instagrams and tweeters, and
then I'll let Joe and Chris followHello. Yeah. You can find the
Mustachio Podcastio on Instagram at Mustachio Podcasto. That is m o U s t
(33:06):
Astio And like I told the guys, it's because I decided to make my
show way too complicated to spell.And you can find it on Twitter as
well at m Podcasto and you canalso email me at Mustachio Podcasto at gmail
dot com and on any of thoseyou can always send me some suggestions.
I'm always looking for some ideas.As long as the movie has some legendary
mustaches and as long as that legendarymustache actor actually sported it in real life,
(33:30):
it can be on the show.Thanks, go ahead, guys,
And what's up? I'm Chris,No, I'm just kiming Joe. Hot
Takes Cold Beers find us on Instagram. Hot Takes Cold Beers aren't just scoring
in the middle. You can figureit out. There's not a lot of
them, but yeah, hit usup. We love having you guys on.
Can't wait to have Mike and Danielon Hot can't Wait. And Mike,
(33:55):
thank you so much for having uson. It was a great time.
Love it. Oh yeah, thisis always a great time. I'd
love having you guys on individually.Having you guys on together has been probably
the most ridiculous slash funds slash oddballpodcast I've had, but we've had a
great time. Tonight, I'm inthe bag. I'm actually going to stop
drinking at this point in the nightbecause I don't want I'm probably gonna have
(34:20):
some of a hangover, but Idon't want to take it to the next
level. That's the problem with hangoversis there, it's like hangover level,
and then there's a point to whereit's not worth having the hangover level.
So I'm gonna avoid that tonight.Stop where we're at, and I am
going to say thank you for youguys showing up and being on the podcast.
I love your podcast and it's alwaysa pleasure. That said. I
(34:44):
will tell you where to reach outto me on the Instagrams and twitters at
whack braggets will get all of thatshit. Send me emails. Let us
know what we fucked up tonight.I'm sure we fucked up a lot ludicrous.
If you're out there, send usan email and tell us, Hey,
guy, guys, don't ever dropmy name in your podcast again because
you guys fucking suck and I'm finewith that. Send me an email at
(35:07):
guys, you fucking suck at wackbracketsdot com. I'm good with that.
You can also send it to oneof my favorite lines of the night from
Joe the Fisher that dances at wackbracketsdot com and send it to spray your
hair in the can in your cabbagepatch at wackbrackets dot com. I'll get
(35:27):
that. So, with all thatsaid, Joe, Chris Daniel, thank
you guys, and I will letyou, guys tell my people in good
night on the way out. We'llsee you letter. Wait, bite,
what's up? I'm Chris
Well, I'm going to whack Brackets, the podcast that used to buy all
of its friends Chris's gifts from QBC, but it doesn't have to worry about
that anymore because it no longer hasany friends. I'm your host, Mike,
and on this episode again. Thisis the second episode of the night,
which you won't know because this willprobably come out a month and a
half after the first one. Butwe've all been drinking. It's all good.
(00:24):
I have on Daniel from the Mustachioedpunqestio, as well as Chris and
Joe from the Hot Takes and ColdBeers podcast. How are you fellas doing
tonight? What's up? I'm Chris? Really, really, what's up?
(00:45):
I'm actually Chris, So you'd haveto listen to our last episode to know,
or maybe our preamble that we had. Yeah, this is Chris's pickup
line at bars to talk to lady. I like it, honestly like it.
I think it makes him humble.He's got a good smile, he's
(01:07):
got a good mustache. This guywould do all right. Sometimes all you
need is what's up? I'm Chris. I mean it works for him pulling
a beer mug up to his chestand his beard is dipping into the beer
just brings it all together. What'sup really really ties the room together,
(01:27):
dude, As does the guy Fieriposter on your back when you when your
back wall there, Yeah yeah,flavor Town. Yeah, when you're bringing
those girls home from the dive barand they see that, that's when you
know it's all I bring Flavor Town. Everybody knows that because that beard keeps
(01:51):
all that exactly. So with allthat said, that's probably the best slash
worst intro I've ever had to whitebrackets, and I'm all in for this.
That is Daniel Mustachio podcast. Youknow Chris and Joe from the Hot
Taps and Gold Beers, and weare going to be bracketing off infomercials in
(02:13):
this wag bracket. Before I sayanything more, I'm gonna tell you what
a white bracket is. If younot checked out whack brackets before we are
asking the burning questions you never knewyou wanted to ask us answered until we
ask them. I will bring onfellow podcasters and friends of the show such
as Joe and Chris and Daniel,and we will bracket off irrelevant, ever
(02:36):
changing questions. If you guys areready, I am ready to start the
podcast. Ye, let's do it, okay. Question number one, we
are going to brack it off theshake Weight against the big mouth billy Bass.
Out of these two, which wouldyou be more embarrassed to be caught
(02:57):
on videotape enjoying? We'll start offwith Chris in this episode, Bro,
you don't want you don't want tobe caught on tape enjoying the shake Weight
infomercial. I mean, let's behonest, all right, picture this.
Everybody put your time caps on,right, and you go back and you're
(03:22):
like, I don't know, teneleven, twelve years old, whenever you're
starting to discover yourself a little bit. And the shake Weight commercial comes on
and there's this girl in nothing butlike short shorts and like a sports bra,
right, and she's doing this.She's like shake weighting it up right,
(03:45):
and you're like, oh shit,she looks happy. Yeah, she
looks super happy. It's like thatSouth Park episode. Right, Yes,
yes, Stannon, yes, gogo faster, go faster. Oh some
money for taxi? Um? Yeah, man, that's way more embarrassing than
the big mouth billy Bass. Bro. The big mouth lady shout out to
(04:09):
the big mouth billy bass. Istill want one of those for my man
cave, because nobody's ever shouted outthe big mouth billy bass. Shout out,
billy bass. Take me to theref bro, drop me in the
water. Come on, man,you don't want one of those in your
man cave? What's wrong with you? Those things are awesome? Shake weight
(04:30):
all day. That's more embarrassing toget caught on film enjoying day, Joe,
what do you think? I'm probablygonna lose this round. But here,
here's what I'm gonna say, becauseyou said, which one is more
embarrassing to be caught on videotape enjoying? Is what you said? Yeah?
Yeah, So it depends on howyou are quote unquote enjoying big mouth billy
(04:57):
bass again because it's whack brackets.This is open to your interpretation. But
if you are, if you're makingsweet love to that billy bass shaking mouth,
that may be way worse than ashake weight. I have to probably
vibraids if you come in on meusing a shake weight and I'm I'm glistening
with sweat and just shaking the funkout of that way, and you just
(05:19):
you just see me shaking. Yousee, my muscles are covered in baby
oil for some reason. And youdon't know why. You're gonna be embarrassed
by the greatness, because you're gonnabe like, holy shit, shake weight
works. Big mouth billy bass isso to me, it's just creepy uncle
and his basement territory. To me. I'm sure there's people that PTSD when
they hear big, big mouth billybass seeing and I'm just saying, I
(05:44):
gotta say if I just could notdo the big mouth, I get I
get the I get the you know, I do get it. I get
it. It's funny having get inyour man cave. It's just not my
style. I wouldn't want it inmy dwelling. I don't think it's smooth.
I'm not a big fan of stickyan think of my man cave,
but especially something as large as thebig Cave. So I gotta go with
(06:09):
shake Weight. Okay, so we'retoo and old for the shake weight.
Oh wait, I gotta go withbig mouth billy bass. Everybody, Okay,
that's what I thought. But Ithought I want I didn't. I
didn't want to like shit on yourselection. So Joe, we have a
split so far, who do youhave? All right, So, as
you said, it's to my interpretation, right, you said, this is
(06:30):
the most embarrassing to get on tapeand enjoying. Right now, we were
all thirteen one time, and fora lot of us it wasn't so easy
to log onto the internet and findmaterial to um, you know, you
know, I'm gonna leave it there, So sometimes you got to shake weight
(06:51):
and stuffing. Now would that beembarrassing if you got conn tape? It
would be embarrassing? Yeah, welllike no way, yeah, like that's
super embarrassing. But who hasn't donethat? What's your favorite magazine non pornographic
to jerk off to? Yeah,yeah, that's yeah exactly, It's just
(07:16):
it happens, man, It's it'sthere, so like everybody does it.
So if I was caught on likea ring doorbell with the shake Way infomercial
or something, that's just hey,you saw it, that's me. That's
exactly whenever said natural. Now,as you were kind of getting into Daniel,
if you're enjoying yourself in a similarfashion to the big math filling best,
(07:40):
we got some problems, all right, that's not natural and uh,
it just you said it vibrates.I didn't know that. I don't know
vibrates, So I want to knowhow you know that because I didn't know.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. So I gotta go with the
(08:01):
Billy Bess because I feel like,to a certain extent, the shake weight
is natural. So I'm going toBilly Bess. Yeah. I was actually
thinking, again, whack brackets.And this is me being a poor wordsman,
but I was actually thinking the actualdevice and not the infomercial. But
considering this is the infomercial bracket,it makes a lot of sense why people
(08:22):
were taking it in that direction.So with that said, again, you
take this in the direction you wantto. And I've been presented with some
new thought processes because I try tobroaden my horizons during this show. And
as was mentioned with the shake weight, is that people enjoy the motion.
(08:45):
We've all enjoyed the motion when we'relucky enough to have it performed on us,
and when we don't, we performthe motion on ourselves. But sex
aside, the problem with the shakeweight is that you can knock your teeth
that with the motherfucker if you evenshall weight. Yeah, it's like you
(09:07):
know, bop yourself, bro.Depending on which shake weight size you order,
it could be problematic. You justtap it on your cheek a little
bit. Yeah, but but I'mnot even sure this is a valid workout.
I mean, I get that itmakes for a great commercial. I'm
not sure it's a valid workout.But the big valed billy bass, it's
(09:28):
a thing that I think as ayoung child it was at least funny.
Everybody thought it was funny. Thecreepy uncle thought it was funny. Well,
yeah, you're right. You haveto realize that I grew up in
the redneck part of town, theBible belt. Okay, you know what,
But again, I have broadened myhorizons here and I've listened. I've
(09:50):
listened to what everyone is here herehas said. And my original instinct was
that it would be more embarrassing tolike the shake weight and be, oh,
well, this is a great thing. But after being persuaded and not
everyone persuades me on the show,I'm going to go with the big mouth
billy bass because it is red nickyand it would be embarrassing to a have
(10:13):
anything sexually involved on tape, muchmore so than the shake way. If
you were caught using the shake Weightsexually. Sure, it's embarrassing, don't
get me wrong. If you it'sbad enough. If you're caught with something,
that's enough, huh, it's bastenough enough. Yeah. I think
(10:35):
that if you include anything that asings and is animatronics, it's like fucking
the Chucky Cheese figures. That wouldbe like as bad as it gets.
The big mouth billy bass is kindof like a poor man's Chucky Cheese.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, soyeah, I'm gonna go with the big
mouth billy bass here as well.All right, so I think the big
(10:58):
mouth billy that winsdays. Well,there we go. That's unexpected. It
was because I was totally leading shakeWeight, but I was persuaded. No,
I don't know. It happened sometimes, man, it does. I
am about the smartest man in theand I guess you guys love getting caught
masturbating in the morning. I'm youknow, it's a natural year, Chris.
(11:22):
I mean, shit, I gotcaught. I got caught last week.
I was in the Starbucks. Whatand it just happens, you know,
it's a natural thing. I don'tknow why anybody leave your phone connected
to the Bluetooth speaker instead of yourheadphones on. That's how I got caught.
I ordered a puppy Tino and youjust no. I was setting there
(11:46):
and I was watching a video andthen it was like, listen to the
big mouth billy bass sing to you. And so I was like, and
it doesn't work when the big mouthbilly bass sings that. But that said,
next question him, because the bigmouth billy Bass is going to go
on against the winner of this infomercial. See the hair and the can versus
(12:07):
the snuggie, which one of thesetwo items is a less realistic solution to
the problem they were intended to solve. Daniel, this is the easiest bracket
I've ever come across. I need, really the hair and a can.
All you have to do is lookat the old infomercials and realize how absolutely
(12:31):
despicable the human is that decides Iwant to use his kN I mean,
look, I've never used the snuggie, but my ex wife actually did own
one, and that's some of thebitch worked. She loved it. The
dead winner. She always uses snuggieand the hair and a can. Man.
I just think, honestly, Igive more respect to the guy that
(12:52):
wears a wig than the hair anda can. Hair and a can is
the equivalent of putting a sock inyour pants, so it looks like you're
packing. You know what I mean, We all know what you're doing and
it's sad, so I gotta gowith haroon. A can is a less
realistic solution to a problem. Allright, Joe, what do you have?
(13:15):
So for me? This is uh, this is interesting because the real
question here is what is the problem? You know what I mean? Now,
if you're talking here and it canyour problem is you're balding on top,
as some men do, and youspread your hair up on there.
Okay, that's a problem. Snuggie, you're cold, but you want to
(13:35):
have the use of your arms againa problem. Now if you take this
a different direction, Snuggie, you'recold. You want to be wrapped up
with your hands for something. I'mgoing sexual here again. I'm sorry.
I'm just gonna go out and sayit. But your hands are free,
Yeah, your hands are free.You can do what you want while story
man covered. Now. I don'tknow about you, guys, Chris,
and that from the north, thatcan be a problem. You're sitting on
(13:58):
the couch, your your horny,you want to get it on and but
you're going to get that shape weightaction going. So Joe, you have
a little hole at the very bottleof your snuggie, just like they don't.
They don't. They don't come likethat. They should. If they
don't, they should. I thinkwe just pitched a million dollar idea right
(14:20):
there. Yeah, I'm just sayingit depends what the problem is. Now,
the most unrealistic to solve a snugit keeps you warm. Can't really
argue with that, regardless of whatyour activities are. Hairing the can now,
I think it would work to anextent because you spray it on there
and it looks like you got afoehead of hair or whatever. But I
just like to picture like a guythat's completely bald that is like sprays spray
(14:43):
paints, and I don't know,so I'll probably go with hairing the canto.
All right, Well, I'm gonnajump in here and at least make
an argument and make Chris solve this, and maybe you're gonna split. But
you know what, here's the thingwith a snuggie. If you're that cold,
fucking dress accordingly or put on ajacket. I don't understand why you
need a fun put the jacket inon your couch though. Get they fucking
(15:05):
long sleeve shirt were all honey dressappropriate. That's never put sugg No,
I fucking put a stugg age.I can't. I've never used hair in
the can. Why are you gotfucking trashing hair and a cane? Maybe
this whole thing a hair I gotis this is all hair and a cane.
Look at that, I'm pulling uphair and a cane. Oh,
(15:26):
it's totally hair and a cane.How do you know? How do you
know? Same guy that says,don't touch my thervish dad, it's sixty
seven degrees and you're not touching it. Get off my fucking lawn, you
jackal exactly. So No, I'mone hundred percent going with a stuggy here
because there are other alternatives. Now, I will say this. Let me
(15:50):
ask you this. You're a memberof the Blue Man group and somebody like
wiped your fucking head off and yougot like you got a whole bald spot
on here because you rubbed into somethingon the way. What do you need?
Do you need blue hair and acan? You get fucking but what
else is going to solve this foryou? I'm one, Yeah, that's
a just specific example. So I'mgoing one hunder snuggie on this, Chris,
(16:15):
what do you have snuggie? Didyou not see the infomercial? Mike,
Like, I just got to buttin here. Uh. You see
the soccer mom sitting at the soccerfield. They have to snuggie on and
they're taking pictures of the little kids. And that's what blankets. That's you
got a blanket and if you needyour hands, fucking put on a jacket.
I'm just saying your Blue Man groupwas extremely not relevant because they don't
(16:37):
have hair, and it's hair anda can. That's Have you ever touched
the head of a man in theBlue Man group? Have you? I
have? Not? I have?Did you get consent? It was glorious?
Did it hurt a little bit?Songs? Just consensual. It's all
(16:59):
good thing, you know. Um, that's an easy argument for me,
dude. I fucking love snuggies.Uh They're great, They're fucking great.
Uh, They're fantastic. You canbe comfortable and you can also have use
of your hands. Uh. Joetook it in a sexual way. That's
(17:21):
perfect. Joe also took it ina you're at a sporting event and you
would take pictures. Yeah, practical, very awesome event. Also Snuggie,
great invention. Hair and a canthat's so much infomercial probably entertaining. Um,
But yeah, I gotta go withthe hair and the can. That's
(17:41):
the worst one. So in away, I win because hairn a can
wins. Right Yeah, yeah,see this is the way white brackets works.
I cheated. I fucked all youguys. Look at that hairn Akan
goes on the next round. Hooray, I win. But just a spite,
we all voted that Snuggies are better. Stoggies are way better though,
right, yeah, you do youso that's it? Yeah, yeah,
(18:07):
no, I just had to reviewthe question real quick. Yeah, I
was like listening, Wait a second, why is Mike happy on this,
like last realistic solution to the problemthey try to solve. Yes, hair
and a can is absolutely the answeris. But we're just all advocating for
Snuggie. Yeah exactly. Yeah,go out there and buy yourself. Sometimes
(18:30):
when I see something I really wantto go through the next round. I
switched the question in that regard hottakes. That's the way I work.
Go buy a Snuggie because they're awesome. You got to give them. Let's
give them a whirld mike, justonce. They're awesome, you know.
And I always just wear long sleeveshirts like a real man does right now,
(18:56):
and it's perfect border between the sleevesof my shirt and my arm and
a sleep of the snuggie. Itall goes into where's you're snuggie? I
don't see a snuggy. Nobody here'swearing a snuggie. And I'm sitting here
with hair and a can and hairand so said hair and the can goes
on to the next round against whodo we choose the big mouth billy beast.
(19:18):
Yeah, big mouth billy bass onhow one? That one? Alright,
bro, final question. It's gonnabe good and terrible. And this
actually was because I am on anotherpodcast with a couple of great people from
the Rock Hippy podcast. I doa podcast called Music for the Messes where
(19:42):
where we review songs. It's reallyis just songs and we talk about songs.
It's not like as silly as thiswhen we do get a little silly,
but it's fun. But one ofthe songs I picked today was Ludicrous
Southern Hospitality, and I was thinking, and that's how I came up with
this. I was like, Okay, I'm gonna throw this in because I'm
gonna mention that song which one ofthese two items will be better for Ludicrous
(20:07):
to rhyme in a rap song.Would it be that hair and the can
or would it be the big mouthbilly bess Joe? Who do you have?
Oh? This is so tough,man. I wish my friend Ryder
Rose was here because he's like thebest freestyle rapper of all time. Like,
given both of the words and hecome up with something great. Now,
(20:30):
are we assuming that Ludacris is freestylingor this like a whole song built
around the product Ludicris. I'm thinkingit's freestyling. Now. The thing is
about Ludicrous. He's such a goodrapper. You could literally give him anything
and he's gonna come up with somethingdope off the top of his head.
Okay, So all right, allright, So that does change it from
me hair and it can absolutely gottado it. For one, it's almost
(20:52):
rhyming. It's not exactly rhyming,but it's a lot closer than it's catchy.
He got it, and uh,it just seems like I don't know,
Ludacris is like more of a MIC'sage maybe and like so maybe those
guys are kind of finning out ontop, and so maybe Ludacris is chasing
that market. Hey, buy somehannasy, buy some hair and a can.
(21:12):
It goes together. Maybe he shouldmake a package deal where it's all
wrapped together. You buy one bottleof Hennessy, buy one bottle of hair
and a can. It comes together. Get it from your local grocery store.
Yeah, so I gotta go hereand can. So you're actually going
full in that Ludacris is in theinfomercial rapping about these Okay, that's yeah,
(21:33):
oh yeah, absolutely, okay,no, no, no, you
think about the people in the marketfor a big bass what is it,
big bass billy mount whatever it is, big bass billy mottle. What I
was thinking. And again, youcan take this anyway, because I actually
love the way you're taking this,so this may change my answer. My
thinking was the actual item and ifLudacris wrapped the actual big mouth billy bass
(21:56):
or the hair in the can ina rap song, because Ludacris raps all
kinds of crazy shit. I wasthinking just a rap song would be what
he would put this item in.But you sound like you're taking it in
a different direction, which may evenchange. My answer is if Ludacris were
in an infomercial and he had topitch it, because ninety percent of ludicrous
(22:18):
shit is about like drinking beer andfucking hose, and he can't do that
in an infomercial. I just likethe way your accent sounds with fucking hose.
He was fucking hose. No,no, no, I mean it
could go either way from me,like it could be him rapping like putting
the product like into his rap,or him rapping about the product honestly,
(22:42):
go either way. All I knowis that my man, Ludacris is a
huge product placement guy, and Ithink that the market that Ludacris is chasing
these days would be way more receptiveto the hair and a can than the
big no Philly best. I can'tsay for sure, I could would be
wrong, but I don't think alot of guys that have a big Milli
(23:03):
mask whatever it's called. Just reallytwisted my tongue up here. But uh,
whatever you know, the fish thatdances. I don't think a lot
of Ludacris listeners have that. Ithink a lot more of them go for
the hair and a can. That'sjust my take on it. I don't
know whether it's in the rap,whether it's in the commercial either one.
(23:27):
I gotta go with the hair anda can. Okay, Chris, I'm
gonna let you to respond to Joebecause I've got so many things I want
to say at this point. Medo me do? Uh? I spray
a hair, hair and a can. I don't know. I'm not a
rap. Oh, don't do don'tdo this, don't do this. I'm
(23:48):
not gonna do it all. I'mgonna do it. Please, I'll do
it. If you do it,I'll do it. If you do it
makes me want to kill him,man, that's all. I yeah,
I like that. That's all.I makes me want to kill a man.
But Ludacris wouldn't say that. He'dbe like, he'd be a lot
cooler than me. Oh yeah,no offense, you're cool. But Ludicris
(24:08):
is guarantee you if we sent hairand a can to Ludacris said, rhyme
something with this in your song,he'd be like, dope and it would
be the greatest hit of all.So it's got to be hair in a
can. Okay, So we gottwo hairs in a can. Two hairs
in a can, probably multiple hairsin a can, but at least two
(24:29):
hairs in a can. What doyou have, Tony? I can't lie.
I actually was hoping I was hopingSnuggie would make it to this bracket
because I kind of had a littleribe in my head about Snuggie. Oh,
we got to hear the rhyme atleast, you know what, let's
pretend it made it there. Yeah, we gotta hear it. Ryme I
find myself in Kentucky, then Igive this a little bit of money.
Don't remember her day, but shewas quite a honey. And you'll bet
(24:52):
the night into with us is Snuggie'sdope as fun? But you know what,
I think, Harrida can Harrida Cat'sfunny, Like it's just funny to
bring that up. And I feellike Ludacris will probably be like Harron the
Cat, sam my mother fucking stand, can't Batman get me that hair cat
(25:15):
for my door? Bat because he'sa little bit in a punk gass boogie
man. He's way better at itthan zero. Good better, much better,
so much better. I still thinkhard the Cat as funny as though
now, but you know, abig, big bath billy bass is funny
too. I'm you know what youcan You could ride thing about big bath,
(25:38):
big bath billy bass. You cand ass, though, but you
can rhyde with ass. You canrhyme with ass. You can say something
like, um, that's about itthough, yeah, but that that's actually
literally that's like he robs stuff withhis ass. Yeah, I mean maybe
something like after I worked that ash, she slid under the sheet and win
(26:00):
full mouth billy bass. I don'tknow, I'm just the fire man.
That's a gas. So if I'mtrying to think of something with the air
in a can, something like,uh, let me see, she was
a she was a seventies fan.Her patch look like sprayed on hair and
(26:22):
a can. So that's just meguessing. I have no idea where I'm
going with this, but yeah,either way, I think I was out
out gunned with this on hair anda can big billy bass. Either one.
I would say this about my manludicrous and this is just shout out
to Ludicrous, one of the bestrappers of all time when he was in
his prime. This is a guythat like reinvented rap music or tried to.
(26:45):
But and I mentioned this in theother podcast, is that literally Rage
Against the Machine was very similar inthe fact that they like tried to reinvent
music and they were the only peoplethat could do it, and everybody that
tried to do it Oway just soundedlike derivatives. And everybody tried to sound
like Ludacris, sound like a derivativeof Ludacris. But he's that good.
He could rob anything with anything buthair and a can. It's already one.
(27:08):
And I can't disagree. I thinkLudacris would rob her and a cam
with h It's fun. Chris wouldkill Harrin. Oh yeah, he could
probably go off on the whole likenot a whole tangent on that and and
and my from my point of view, I'm telling you, if they mission
Ludacris make a harind cam commercial,he could sell that shit. Yeah,
(27:30):
I'll wrap up Harrion a can bottleof Hennessey. Because I don't know if
you guys know this, but Ludacrissells Hennessey, he owns it. He
owns Hennessey, he owns Tennessee,and yeah, Ludacris owns Tennessee. Yeah,
really shit. And like so ifyou wrap that shit up in a
package deal that's put it in someplastic crap haarona can Hennessey, that shit
(27:51):
would get sold. They just byfor the Hennessey man. Yeah, and
that's why I was gonna thank ifDaniel and Chris were mentioning if they went
the other way, which I didn'tknow. It sound like everybody will with
hair and a can. But youmade a very valid argument, even from
the infomercial side. If it werean infomercial and Ludaca is trying to pitch
an infomercial, he's not gonna pitchbig mouth Billy Bass. I can see
him pitching hair in a can justbecause Ludacris. He'd be like, all
(28:15):
right, I could see that beinga valid use. But he's somebody puts
fucking big mouth. Bill Ban's like, at hell, no, fuck,
you gotta get Larry of the Campbellguy to pitch big mouth. Oh yeah,
that's whatever it's called. I'm actuallylooking up if hair and a can
is something you can still buy isthat something you can still purchase? You
know what, It's not technically calledhair and a can. Okay, it's
(28:37):
called something else. You can probablysee it, but it's like it has
an official name. Nobody knows aboutthe official name, but everybody knows about
hair and a can because it literallyis just spray paint in a can.
Yeah, dude, that sounds miserableunless you're in the Blue Band group,
and then you're gonna love it.Your Chris is on the way. He
has a beanion right now, buthe's on the way. Most of his
(29:00):
hair has migrated down to his face. He'll need the hair and you can
at some point. What's up,I'm Chris damn jo joke being a dick
it bro. Yeah, I knowhe's probably not not wrong, but it's
fine. Bro. Would you looklike he would look cool bald at least,
you know, like work? Yeah, you know. If I'm gonna
(29:21):
go bald, like, I'm justgonna do the full beard or at least
a goatee. You know what I'msaying? Like whatever, Rocket, I
love you, buddy. Hey,it's all it's all love. It's all
love, bro. Mike Tyson says, it's all love. Would you kind
of look like scott Ian from Anthraxa little bit? Oh? Oh,
I fucking love scott Ian bro.Yeah. Me, I've got the long
face like mister Ed, so it'sa good thing I've got a head of
(29:44):
hair. If I didn't, thatwould be all fucking would look like a
dude. Yeah, I'll be likethis was white brackets. In high school.
I used to shave my head likewith the razor, right and really
go to wrestling tournaments, and allmy buddies would convince the guy's wrestling that
(30:04):
I was a cancer kid and they'dlet me win on perfect I'm not I'm
not lying. I'm not lying.Like he actually did this multiple times.
I would shave my head with therazor. My buddies would go to my
opponent and say, hey, he'sgot cancer, you should let him win.
He's only got a couple of yearsleft, and I'd win everybody.
(30:26):
This is why he's so devout ongiving a meat and bread for Lent,
because he's trying to make up forpast sins at this point. Yeah,
that's that's pretty rough. Now letme ask you this only somewhat serious.
Did you encourage your opponent or didyou let him know, dude, I'm
totally healthy. Oh no, hestuck his thumb right on his ass.
He's like, I I took theDerek Lewis, my boss is how to
(30:53):
approach, and I'd kind of likeplay possum for like a little bit,
like oh you heard me and stuff, and then you turn around and put
them on the ground. That's whatyou do. Yea, that's exactly what
balls was hot. Derek Blues says, that's what you did last night.
So anyway, hair and a Canwins. Yeah, I'll finish that up,
(31:17):
Dan, Daniel, Daniel up,want to talk about UFC. With
that said, I think we havea winner for this wag bracket. Daniel
got all pissy about a side conversationwe were at. I just felt like
there was a hole. I waslike, I'll just go ahead and let's
take it to the So, yeah, Daniel's taking over wag Brackets officially at
this point. So with that said, Daniel, why don't you tell everybody
who won tonight? Oh? Yeah, Harrod a can one. Let's go.
(31:41):
Everyone gets get your hair in acan, put it on the head,
put it on. Then who cares? That's right? Were a dope,
belong whatever, also ludicrous. Pleaseuh insert hair and a canny in
your next rap. I would loveit better, bull shit, I keep
up it would know yours was reallygood. Actually, I mean yeah,
(32:02):
you were like freestyle was better thanmine. All I could come up with
hair and a can gonna kill aman. I mean that's all I had,
but you had something better could have. Yeah, yeah, I'm not
sure that a FDA approved that.Being said, I do believe that if
I could just kill a man hasbeen a song that's been pretty much already
(32:22):
done. Yeah twice. Yeah,Cypress Hill kind of Rage covered it.
That's true. So yeah, it'sa good cover. So long story,
short, hair and a can,Ludicrous, shout us out when you get
your hair and a can sponsorship.Probably gonna make a million dollars off of
us tonight. So that's said.Hair and a Can wins our infomercial wag
(32:45):
bragging again. We had on Chrisand Joe from Hot Takes and Cold Beers
and Daniel from The Mustachio Bad Castio. I'm gonna let Daniel start out and
tell you where you can hit himup on the instagrams and tweeters, and
then I'll let Joe and Chris followHello. Yeah. You can find the
Mustachio Podcastio on Instagram at Mustachio Podcasto. That is m o U s t
(33:06):
Astio And like I told the guys, it's because I decided to make my
show way too complicated to spell.And you can find it on Twitter as
well at m Podcasto and you canalso email me at Mustachio Podcasto at gmail
dot com and on any of thoseyou can always send me some suggestions.
I'm always looking for some ideas.As long as the movie has some legendary
mustaches and as long as that legendarymustache actor actually sported it in real life,
(33:30):
it can be on the show.Thanks, go ahead, guys,
And what's up? I'm Chris,No, I'm just kiming Joe. Hot
Takes Cold Beers find us on Instagram. Hot Takes Cold Beers aren't just scoring
in the middle. You can figureit out. There's not a lot of
them, but yeah, hit usup. We love having you guys on.
Can't wait to have Mike and Danielon Hot can't Wait. And Mike,
(33:55):
thank you so much for having uson. It was a great time.
Love it. Oh yeah, thisis always a great time. I'd
love having you guys on individually.Having you guys on together has been probably
the most ridiculous slash funds slash oddballpodcast I've had, but we've had a
great time. Tonight, I'm inthe bag. I'm actually going to stop
drinking at this point in the nightbecause I don't want I'm probably gonna have
(34:20):
some of a hangover, but Idon't want to take it to the next
level. That's the problem with hangoversis there, it's like hangover level,
and then there's a point to whereit's not worth having the hangover level.
So I'm gonna avoid that tonight.Stop where we're at, and I am
going to say thank you for youguys showing up and being on the podcast.
I love your podcast and it's alwaysa pleasure. That said. I
(34:44):
will tell you where to reach outto me on the Instagrams and twitters at
whack braggets will get all of thatshit. Send me emails. Let us
know what we fucked up tonight.I'm sure we fucked up a lot ludicrous.
If you're out there, send usan email and tell us, Hey,
guy, guys, don't ever dropmy name in your podcast again because
you guys fucking suck and I'm finewith that. Send me an email at
(35:07):
guys, you fucking suck at wackbracketsdot com. I'm good with that.
You can also send it to oneof my favorite lines of the night from
Joe the Fisher that dances at wackbracketsdot com and send it to spray your
hair in the can in your cabbagepatch at wackbrackets dot com. I'll get
(35:27):
that. So, with all thatsaid, Joe, Chris Daniel, thank
you guys, and I will letyou, guys tell my people in good
night on the way out. We'llsee you letter. Wait, bite,
what's up? I'm Chris
Popular Podcasts
CrimeLess: Hillbilly Heist
It’s 1996 in rural North Carolina, and an oddball crew makes history when they pull off America’s third largest cash heist. But it’s all downhill from there. Join host Johnny Knoxville as he unspools a wild and woolly tale about a group of regular ‘ol folks who risked it all for a chance at a better life. CrimeLess: Hillbilly Heist answers the question: what would you do with 17.3 million dollars? The answer includes diamond rings, mansions, velvet Elvis paintings, plus a run for the border, murder-for-hire-plots, and FBI busts.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.