April 4, 2025 • 21 mins
Feeling lost in today's chaotic world? You're not alone. Dr. Douglas James Cottrell tackles the universal struggle of finding one's path in life—a challenge that's particularly intense for young people navigating our digital age.
Drawing from decades of wisdom, Dr. Cottrell reveals why most of us only truly "figure life out" around age 28, and how our thinking typically lags behind our actual age by about seven years. This developmental lag explains much of the confusion and identity crisis many experience in their formative years.
The episode's most powerful revelation? Keep your dreams, ambitions, and plans completely private. "Don't tell people your prayers, your plans, or your ambitions," Dr. Cottrell advises, explaining how well-meaning friends and family often unintentionally sabotage our dreams with doubt and misguided advice. Instead, he recommends speaking only to those who have already achieved what you're aiming for.
Dr. Cottrell shares the concept of "order of events"—the universal law that success requires completing steps in proper sequence without skipping ahead. Combined with laser focus (concentrating on just one direction rather than many), planning backward from your ultimate goals, and developing unstoppable willpower, this approach creates a formula for finding your true path.
Whether you're confused about career choices, struggling with identity, or simply trying to navigate life's complex journey, this episode offers practical wisdom that cuts through the noise. Listen now and discover how to trust yourself, focus your efforts, and build the willpower that Dr. Cottrell describes as "more powerful than all the bombs man could make."
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Announcer (00:00):
Welcome to Wake Up with Dr Douglas James Cottrell,
your source for helpfulinformation, advice and tips to
live your life in a mindful wayin this increasingly chaotic
world.
For over four decades, DrDouglas has been teaching people
how to develop their intuitionand live their lives in a
conscious way.
His news and views of the worldtomorrow, today, are always
(00:21):
informative and revealing.
And now here's your host, DrDouglas James Cottrell.
Douglas James Cottrell (00:30):
Welcome to the Wake Up, the broadcast
where curiosity leads to deeperunderstanding.
I'm your host, Douglas JamesCottrell, and my good friend and
co-host Les Hubert is here withme, along with editor Jack
Bialik.
Les Hubert (00:43):
Thank you, Douglas.
We're going to talk about howto find one's way in life.
There are so many young peopleout there who are struggling to
find a path and where theybelong.
They seem to say, every once ina while you hear them say they
feel kind of like they don'tbelong here.
How can we help these kids tofind where they do belong?
Douglas James Cottrell (01:01):
Well, you know Les, that's an age-old
question.
Everybody feels like the blacksheep of their family.
They don't fit into society,they don't know how to be a man
or how to be a woman.
They have some identity crisisgoing on.
And as I was growing up back inthe day, we took our cues from
(01:29):
the people around us, fromtelevision shows and movies and
things like that, and we sort ofstumbled through life, in the
day.
Now, with the computer age,instant everything and the
bombardment of social commentaryjust exasperates the stumbling
around as one goes throughpuberty to become a young adult
(01:54):
and then to find their way inlife.
So the key answer to this is toeverybody: I don't want to
sound like an old guy, but bythe time you get to be about 28
years old, you sort of have itfigured out.
And by the time you're 33 to 35, at least for men (women are a
little more mature, sorry, yesmature) they figure it out
(02:16):
sooner than men but by that timeyou know somewhere around 33,
you sort of feel like you're anadult.
So the rule of thumb goes likewhen you're a teenager you still
think like you're pre-teenager.
When you're in your 20s, youthink like you're a teenager.
When you're in your 30s, youthink like you're in your 20s.
Naturally because you're basingall your thoughts, your
(02:37):
patterns, your beliefs, yourvalues on the seven years that
you lived prior to theseven-year cycle, meaning 7, 14,
21, 28, 35, etc.
So understanding that is a hugeplus.
Intellectually.
At least, you know you'resomewhere in between.
To be a teenager these days isabsolutely.
(03:00):
.
.
y ou have to be really strong,really advanced.
And of course the youngerpeople are more advanced than us
, naturally, because nature, youknow, as we move through, the
generation that follows us ismore evolved, because they are
the next generation period.
They are naturally more, moreevolved.
So the older people kind of alittle jealous of the younger
(03:22):
people and they misdirect you,they'll misguide you, they'll
get uppity, they'll expressthemselves to their own
shortcomings, to their valuesystem, which is dated.
They're past, even whensomebody's 28, they're past 21.
And think of this, my friendswhen you send men and women to
(03:46):
war, what are they?
18 to 25.
By the time you're 22 to 25, asa pilot, you're done.
You're an old man.
You can't take the stresses ofbeing a pilot.
So every occupation has its ownparticular parameters.
And so as we stumble throughlife as teenagers approaching to
(04:10):
be young adults, naturally it'soverwhelming, but in today's
world it's multiplied by I don'tknow 10.
So.
..
but also I don't want to saythat that's a negative, in as
much as that you're able as ateenager these years, and as
young adults, you're able andcapable to handle this because
you're more evolved and you fitin.
(04:30):
This is your time.
Just like it was my time beinga young man stumbling around,
trying to take my cues fromolder men how to be a man.
What's right, what's wrong, howto face disappointment and how
to suffer betrayal from friendsand things like that, and how to
(04:51):
attempt to have ambition andtry to go in a certain direction
, to be successful, only to havepeople tell you no, no, no, you
shouldn't do that.
You know how much it costs tobuy a franchise at a fast food
joint?
I wouldn't do that if I wereyou.
Well, part of the lesson thereis to "ferme la bouche, as they
say in Francais, meaning don'ttell people your prayers, your
(05:13):
plans or your ambitions.
Keep them to yourself.
And if anything that I can passon to anybody listening to this
, one important thing is be yourown person.
In other words, if somebodycomes along and tells you
"that'll never work.
Don't believe them.
But of course, if you don'ttell them, they're not going to
(05:36):
affect you by putting doubt inyour mind that it won't work.
Instead, you be your own personand when somebody says "that'll
never work, I wouldn't do that,you get on it right away.
The famous Walt Disney ofDisneyland and Disney World he
used to go out and he would goto restaurants and places (so
the story goes) and he wouldvent his plans to people and if
(05:57):
nine out of ten people said"it'll never work, he got on it
right away.
Oh wow.
Because when it worked, all thepeople were"that' that's amazing
.
If he I went to nine out of 10people and they said "that's a
wonderful idea, that's great,".
He dropped it like a stone.
Now somebody can do privateresearch and find it out, but I
was told that, and I believed itfrom the source t hat told me
(06:19):
that, way back in the day.
He was trying to motivate me.
So you be your own person.
You make your own mistakes.
There's nothing worse in life,my friends, than to listen to
somebody else and you followtheir advice and they're wrong
and you pay for it.
You've made the mistake.
Had you followed your ownintuition, your own feelings,
your own sense, you would havebeen right.
(06:40):
Now, it doesn't take a geniusto figure that out, because it
happens and then you say "Ishould have listened to myself.
Okay, the next time it happens,you repeat, you go out and you
try to convince them that whatyou're planning to do is a good
thing.
They have no clue in their mindand so they just say no, they
(07:03):
shoot you down.
So it's called shooting theairplane down before it gets off
the runway.
That's the cliche.
So don't tell anybody thatyou're on the runway.
Fly the plane yourself.
And when you start to fly, whatdo you have to do?
Full power, and then the planewill lift, it'll fly.
If you only give it a halfpower, you're never going to get
(07:24):
off the ground or worse, you'regoing to crash.
So those simple steps in life isto remember if you have an idea
, if you want to be anentrepreneur, or if you want to
have a career and you want to dosomething that maybe everybody
else in your family hasn't done,don't tell anybody you're going
to do it.
(07:45):
In other words, don't tellpeople your plans.
Only person you can talk toabout what you intend to do is
somebody who's already done it.
If you want to be an actor, youdon't talk to people who are
not actors.
You go and you talk to an actorwho has been successful and
they more than likely would bewilling to give you some advice.
(08:06):
Maybe they don't because theydon't want to influence you
adversely, but you talk topeople who are in the know.
You go to an entrepreneur or abusiness man or an astronaut or
somebody who actually has doneit, and they're going to give
you the right advice.
Everybody else is going to giveyou what they think is the
right advice, or they're goingto make up and they're going to
(08:27):
fib and they're going to giveyou what they think is the right
advice and it's not.
So again, to be young andambitious or have drive, you
want to be somewhere in yourfuture.
A wise man, my friend, RossPeterson, once told me: think
like you're 65, where you arewhen you're 65, all the things
(08:58):
you want in your life, and thenwork backwards and plan how to
get those things.
Not the other way around.
When you're 20 and you want tobe something and you want to go
somewhere and you want to have abig car and money and whatever.
Okay, now you know what youwant when you're 20, but is it
really what you want?
And you have no plan on how toget there.
You just have the destinationbut no plan.
And the final thing is (09:19):
how many directions in life can you go
at one time?
Well, everybody tries to go inseveral directions.
It's just the way it is.
The more creative somebody is,the more plans or directions
they want to go.
They want to learn how to playa musical instrument, they want
to be an architect, they want tobe an equestrian horse rider,
(09:42):
they want to make biginvestments in the stock market
or they want to write a book.
Guaranteed failure.
Not because they're not ableand capable.
It's because they aredistracted.
Again, if you hold your hand upand you say how many directions
am I going?
If it's not one, you're introuble.
(10:06):
Warren Buffett used to interviewexecutives and he would teach
them by saying (10:11):
I want you to write down on a list the 20
things that you want to do.
And the person would dutifullywrite out 20 things.
And then he would hold it up tothem and he'd draw a line under
the third thing.
He said, forget about the rest.
You can only concentrate onthese three things.
That's all you need toaccomplish in life to be
successful.
So it comes down to saying: listen. (10:31):
undefined
And I know I was a stubborn,double-Capricorn, kind of
ambitious, know-it-all,smarty-pants kind of guy, as
most intelligent people are, andI've learned the hard way.
But I also had my teachers comealong.
Out of the universe, somebodywould drop in my life and say,
(10:53):
Douglas, why don't you try this?
Or what do you need that guyfor?
You know, meaning that.
.
.
in your life, that he has givenyou.
.
.
he's an anchor.
So part of being successful isnot to be codependent.
Okay?
Be dependent on yourself.
Know that the universe willsend people to you, if you keep
(11:14):
taking your steps.
And then go in one direction,or if you have two or three,
that two or three things, itemsthat blend together and you end
up going down a single direction, that's allowed.
But don't tell anybody, thenacquire as much knowledge as you
can about how to get to whereyou want to be, have the
destination.
(11:36):
And so to answer the question.
You know people are confusedtoday.
Well, that's the way we are.
You know the people that arelucky in our life, they know
they want to do one thing andone thing only.
I met a man once who knew, whenhe was eight years old, he
wanted to be a stockbroker.
His whole life (11:53):
stockbroker, stockbroker, stockbroker.
He did.
And he ultimately became knownas Mr Gold because he got
involved in commodities andstock markets and ended up
owning a gold mine.
Wow.
One thing.
And so if you look at anyoneand you talk to people who let's
say, the board of directors,who hire intelligent people,
(12:15):
they'll tell you they look forsomebody that's laser focused,
that they don't get distractedeasily.
They make up their own mind.
It's not an arrogance, but it'sa confidence of self-esteem,
that they're able and capable tohandle the position they're
going into, because they haveexperiences in their past.
And that's the only way you canget the confidence in the
(12:37):
moment to go forward in thefuture.
You can't just drop in andexpect: Okay, here I am at a
brokerage.
Now I'm going to be amillionaire stockbroker.
But wait a minute.
What's a short?
What's a call?
What's a put?
What's a stop short?
I don't understand those terms.
Well, let's go down the halland learn how to do the mail
packages, first, deliver them tothe office.
(12:59):
And so you build up thisrepertoire of experiences, and
in order to do that you have tobe patient.
But if you have a plan, if youhave a goal, a destination, and
then, working backwards, youhave smaller goals all the way
back to the present, you will besuccessful.
(13:21):
I call it the order of events.
Okay.
You can't want to go to Hawaiiand be there tomorrow.
You have a series of eventsthat you have to work through,
and if you don't do each eventin sequence and finish the step
or the goal before you go to thenext one, you will fail.
(13:42):
You won't get there.
You want to go to Hawaii?
Fine, what airline am I goingto go?
What hotel am I going to stay?
How much is it going to cost?
Where do I buy the ticket?
Where do I rent a car?
Who do I call today?
Is my credit card enough that Ican put all these purchases on?
How much money am I going totake?
I have to go to the bank.
And so, you go through theprocess, you get down to have
(14:05):
the ticket, the car is coming inthe morning.
Oh, I have to pack a bag.
You can't pack the bag afteryou leave, you have to pack the
bag ahead of time.
So that simple, simplisticexplanation is how not to be
confused is order of events.
It is a law.
You cannot do things out oforder or you fail.
(14:27):
You have to go step by step bystep.
Write them down, make a list,check them off.
Many famous people I know,including the lady on the Shark
Tank, she has what she calls theto-do list in front of her.
It has five columns, I heardher tell this, the other day and
she knows who she has tocontact and what she has to do,
(14:48):
and she writes in something shedoes, something she calls up
about, something she assignsresponsibility for, somebody
else has to work for, orsomebody has to carry out what
she's ordering.
That way, she knows where sheis, at any moment.
But if it's not in front of her, it's not on the list, she's
going to forget about it.
She's so distracted and has somany things to do, which goes
right to your question.
(15:09):
So how can people figure out,not to be confused?
Plan.
Don't tell anybody your plans.
Implement your plans yourself.
.
ot if you're not able andcapable of doing it, it at that
moment, get the equipment, getthe experience, get the
knowledge so that you can do ityourself.
And, most importantly, .
(15:31):
Teach teach yourself willpower.
It's the most powerful force inthe universe.
Ross Peterson Peters once toldme it's more powerful than all
the bombs man could make and putthem in one place.
Willpower of one person.
And so, if you have willpower,you're laser focused, you keep
(15:51):
quiet, you don't tell anybodyyour plans and, most importantly
, like the gamblers at the table, no need to count your money
when you're at the table.
Put it in your .
Fermez la bouche.
Go go home and then count your.
And and, of course, when youmake a mistake, experience.
Limit limit your losses, lossesif you can.
(16:14):
But if you lose and you go bust, no reason not to start right
over the next day and learn fromwhat happened to you.
Mistakes and errors naturallycome along.
If you're on a highway, there'salways going to be a pothole,
always.
There's always going to besomebody out there that's going
(16:35):
to pretend to be your friend andthey're not.
There's always somebody outthere that's going to try to
steal your idea.
There's always somebody outthere that's going to try to get
in and rob you, push you out ofthe way and take over your
project.
So if you have that in yourmind that these are
possibilities that are alwaysgoing to happen, it starts with
you talking too much.
(16:56):
So if you don't talk too much,give away your plans, how much
money you got, etc.
etc.
those people that come alongwill bounce off you.
They won't try to get into yourlife to take advantage of you.
You know there's an adage, somewise man said: beware your
enemies.
We all know that.
And then he said (17:15):
but beware your friends more.
So when you first hear that,like I'm saying that to people
for the first time, when I heardit, I went: no, my friends are
my friends.
And then all of a sudden wait aminute.
Friends may not be your friendswhen it comes to material
(17:36):
things.
They might try to take themaway because they're envious or
jealous or they think they'resmarter or they deserve it more.
All we have to do is slip overinto the world of inheritances
and see how families fight andhow one child will try to take
advantage and knock anotherchild, their brother or sister,
out of the will because theythink they should get it all.
So narcissists, egomaniacs,pretenders, dumb people that
(18:00):
think they're really smart(those are the ones to really
watch for), y ou have to avoidthem.
And so what are we saying here?
The image I have is get a broomand sweep your mind clear.
Make a plan and say what youget, you deserve, because you
did it.
If you bring other people inlike partners, whatever, you're
(18:21):
bringing in some doubt.
You're bringing in people whoare relying on you to be right
and they're going to takeadvantage of you.
They don't need you as much asyou think you need them.
So how to be straight up andsuccessful?
One foot in front of the other.
Rely on good old self.
The universe to provide.
Have a plan.
(18:41):
Keep your plan to yourself andhide your wealth.
Don't spread it around.
Always be humble.
Sign on the dotted line, whenit comes time to do so.
Don't procrastinate.
You can't buy a house, unlessyou sign on the dotted line.
Even though you have all theresearch and you've found three
or four properties and they suityou, got the mortgage monies
(19:03):
all together, you're all suitedup, ready to go, you still have
to sign on the dotted line.
So the final thing is commitment.
100%.
When you're committed, if youhave doubt in your mind, that
means you haven't done yourresearch, you haven't figured
out all the possible things thatmight go wrong, or where the
weaknesses are, or you're notassured that the steps you're
(19:25):
going to take are going to besuccessful.
Most successful business peopleknow how to manage risk.
So when they go into something,there's nothing unknown.
They have gotten rid of all theuncertainties, they know
exactly what's going to happenand then, when it happens, order
of events, they know they're onthe right track.
If it doesn't happen, they getright on it, and they fix it.
(19:46):
What's going wrong?
What didn't I see?
Let's fix it right away.
A nd as you continue to takeyour steps with that process,
that, my friends, is the key tosuccess in anything, in
everything in life.
And it starts by listening tothe Wake Up.
And as you wake up and as youapply yourself, the amount of
(20:11):
information to be successful isout there, all over the place.
Focus, laser focus.
Don't be distracted andremember: k eep your prayer to
yourself and you will besuccessful.
I'm your host, Douglas JamesCottrell, with my good friend
and co-host, Les Hubert.
Until next time, let's wish youpeace and prosperity.
Announcer (20:33):
Thank you very much for listening to Wake Up.
If you enjoyed this episode, besure to subscribe so you'll be
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we're producing.
For more about Dr Douglas'sself-development classes, books
(20:55):
and other related products,please visit his website
douglasjamescottrell.
com.
Until next time, we wish youall of God's blessings: health,
wealth and peace of mind.
Welcome to Wake Up with Dr Douglas James Cottrell,
your source for helpfulinformation, advice and tips to
live your life in a mindful wayin this increasingly chaotic
world.
For over four decades, DrDouglas has been teaching people
how to develop their intuitionand live their lives in a
conscious way.
His news and views of the worldtomorrow, today, are always
(00:21):
informative and revealing.
And now here's your host, DrDouglas James Cottrell.
Douglas James Cottrell (00:30):
Welcome to the Wake Up, the broadcast
where curiosity leads to deeperunderstanding.
I'm your host, Douglas JamesCottrell, and my good friend and
co-host Les Hubert is here withme, along with editor Jack
Bialik.
Les Hubert (00:43):
Thank you, Douglas.
We're going to talk about howto find one's way in life.
There are so many young peopleout there who are struggling to
find a path and where theybelong.
They seem to say, every once ina while you hear them say they
feel kind of like they don'tbelong here.
How can we help these kids tofind where they do belong?
Douglas James Cottrell (01:01):
Well, you know Les, that's an age-old
question.
Everybody feels like the blacksheep of their family.
They don't fit into society,they don't know how to be a man
or how to be a woman.
They have some identity crisisgoing on.
And as I was growing up back inthe day, we took our cues from
(01:29):
the people around us, fromtelevision shows and movies and
things like that, and we sort ofstumbled through life, in the
day.
Now, with the computer age,instant everything and the
bombardment of social commentaryjust exasperates the stumbling
around as one goes throughpuberty to become a young adult
(01:54):
and then to find their way inlife.
So the key answer to this is toeverybody: I don't want to
sound like an old guy, but bythe time you get to be about 28
years old, you sort of have itfigured out.
And by the time you're 33 to 35, at least for men (women are a
little more mature, sorry, yesmature) they figure it out
(02:16):
sooner than men but by that timeyou know somewhere around 33,
you sort of feel like you're anadult.
So the rule of thumb goes likewhen you're a teenager you still
think like you're pre-teenager.
When you're in your 20s, youthink like you're a teenager.
When you're in your 30s, youthink like you're in your 20s.
Naturally because you're basingall your thoughts, your
(02:37):
patterns, your beliefs, yourvalues on the seven years that
you lived prior to theseven-year cycle, meaning 7, 14,
21, 28, 35, etc.
So understanding that is a hugeplus.
Intellectually.
At least, you know you'resomewhere in between.
To be a teenager these days isabsolutely.
(03:00):
.
.
y ou have to be really strong,really advanced.
And of course the youngerpeople are more advanced than us
, naturally, because nature, youknow, as we move through, the
generation that follows us ismore evolved, because they are
the next generation period.
They are naturally more, moreevolved.
So the older people kind of alittle jealous of the younger
(03:22):
people and they misdirect you,they'll misguide you, they'll
get uppity, they'll expressthemselves to their own
shortcomings, to their valuesystem, which is dated.
They're past, even whensomebody's 28, they're past 21.
And think of this, my friendswhen you send men and women to
(03:46):
war, what are they?
18 to 25.
By the time you're 22 to 25, asa pilot, you're done.
You're an old man.
You can't take the stresses ofbeing a pilot.
So every occupation has its ownparticular parameters.
And so as we stumble throughlife as teenagers approaching to
(04:10):
be young adults, naturally it'soverwhelming, but in today's
world it's multiplied by I don'tknow 10.
So.
..
but also I don't want to saythat that's a negative, in as
much as that you're able as ateenager these years, and as
young adults, you're able andcapable to handle this because
you're more evolved and you fitin.
(04:30):
This is your time.
Just like it was my time beinga young man stumbling around,
trying to take my cues fromolder men how to be a man.
What's right, what's wrong, howto face disappointment and how
to suffer betrayal from friendsand things like that, and how to
(04:51):
attempt to have ambition andtry to go in a certain direction
, to be successful, only to havepeople tell you no, no, no, you
shouldn't do that.
You know how much it costs tobuy a franchise at a fast food
joint?
I wouldn't do that if I wereyou.
Well, part of the lesson thereis to "ferme la bouche, as they
say in Francais, meaning don'ttell people your prayers, your
(05:13):
plans or your ambitions.
Keep them to yourself.
And if anything that I can passon to anybody listening to this
, one important thing is be yourown person.
In other words, if somebodycomes along and tells you
"that'll never work.
Don't believe them.
But of course, if you don'ttell them, they're not going to
(05:36):
affect you by putting doubt inyour mind that it won't work.
Instead, you be your own personand when somebody says "that'll
never work, I wouldn't do that,you get on it right away.
The famous Walt Disney ofDisneyland and Disney World he
used to go out and he would goto restaurants and places (so
the story goes) and he wouldvent his plans to people and if
(05:57):
nine out of ten people said"it'll never work, he got on it
right away.
Oh wow.
Because when it worked, all thepeople were"that' that's amazing
.
If he I went to nine out of 10people and they said "that's a
wonderful idea, that's great,".
He dropped it like a stone.
Now somebody can do privateresearch and find it out, but I
was told that, and I believed itfrom the source t hat told me
(06:19):
that, way back in the day.
He was trying to motivate me.
So you be your own person.
You make your own mistakes.
There's nothing worse in life,my friends, than to listen to
somebody else and you followtheir advice and they're wrong
and you pay for it.
You've made the mistake.
Had you followed your ownintuition, your own feelings,
your own sense, you would havebeen right.
(06:40):
Now, it doesn't take a geniusto figure that out, because it
happens and then you say "Ishould have listened to myself.
Okay, the next time it happens,you repeat, you go out and you
try to convince them that whatyou're planning to do is a good
thing.
They have no clue in their mindand so they just say no, they
(07:03):
shoot you down.
So it's called shooting theairplane down before it gets off
the runway.
That's the cliche.
So don't tell anybody thatyou're on the runway.
Fly the plane yourself.
And when you start to fly, whatdo you have to do?
Full power, and then the planewill lift, it'll fly.
If you only give it a halfpower, you're never going to get
(07:24):
off the ground or worse, you'regoing to crash.
So those simple steps in life isto remember if you have an idea
, if you want to be anentrepreneur, or if you want to
have a career and you want to dosomething that maybe everybody
else in your family hasn't done,don't tell anybody you're going
to do it.
(07:45):
In other words, don't tellpeople your plans.
Only person you can talk toabout what you intend to do is
somebody who's already done it.
If you want to be an actor, youdon't talk to people who are
not actors.
You go and you talk to an actorwho has been successful and
they more than likely would bewilling to give you some advice.
(08:06):
Maybe they don't because theydon't want to influence you
adversely, but you talk topeople who are in the know.
You go to an entrepreneur or abusiness man or an astronaut or
somebody who actually has doneit, and they're going to give
you the right advice.
Everybody else is going to giveyou what they think is the
right advice, or they're goingto make up and they're going to
(08:27):
fib and they're going to giveyou what they think is the right
advice and it's not.
So again, to be young andambitious or have drive, you
want to be somewhere in yourfuture.
A wise man, my friend, RossPeterson, once told me: think
like you're 65, where you arewhen you're 65, all the things
(08:58):
you want in your life, and thenwork backwards and plan how to
get those things.
Not the other way around.
When you're 20 and you want tobe something and you want to go
somewhere and you want to have abig car and money and whatever.
Okay, now you know what youwant when you're 20, but is it
really what you want?
And you have no plan on how toget there.
You just have the destinationbut no plan.
And the final thing is (09:19):
how many directions in life can you go
at one time?
Well, everybody tries to go inseveral directions.
It's just the way it is.
The more creative somebody is,the more plans or directions
they want to go.
They want to learn how to playa musical instrument, they want
to be an architect, they want tobe an equestrian horse rider,
(09:42):
they want to make biginvestments in the stock market
or they want to write a book.
Guaranteed failure.
Not because they're not ableand capable.
It's because they aredistracted.
Again, if you hold your hand upand you say how many directions
am I going?
If it's not one, you're introuble.
(10:06):
Warren Buffett used to interviewexecutives and he would teach
them by saying (10:11):
I want you to write down on a list the 20
things that you want to do.
And the person would dutifullywrite out 20 things.
And then he would hold it up tothem and he'd draw a line under
the third thing.
He said, forget about the rest.
You can only concentrate onthese three things.
That's all you need toaccomplish in life to be
successful.
So it comes down to saying: listen. (10:31):
undefined
And I know I was a stubborn,double-Capricorn, kind of
ambitious, know-it-all,smarty-pants kind of guy, as
most intelligent people are, andI've learned the hard way.
But I also had my teachers comealong.
Out of the universe, somebodywould drop in my life and say,
(10:53):
Douglas, why don't you try this?
Or what do you need that guyfor?
You know, meaning that.
.
.
in your life, that he has givenyou.
.
.
he's an anchor.
So part of being successful isnot to be codependent.
Okay?
Be dependent on yourself.
Know that the universe willsend people to you, if you keep
(11:14):
taking your steps.
And then go in one direction,or if you have two or three,
that two or three things, itemsthat blend together and you end
up going down a single direction, that's allowed.
But don't tell anybody, thenacquire as much knowledge as you
can about how to get to whereyou want to be, have the
destination.
(11:36):
And so to answer the question.
You know people are confusedtoday.
Well, that's the way we are.
You know the people that arelucky in our life, they know
they want to do one thing andone thing only.
I met a man once who knew, whenhe was eight years old, he
wanted to be a stockbroker.
His whole life (11:53):
stockbroker, stockbroker, stockbroker.
He did.
And he ultimately became knownas Mr Gold because he got
involved in commodities andstock markets and ended up
owning a gold mine.
Wow.
One thing.
And so if you look at anyoneand you talk to people who let's
say, the board of directors,who hire intelligent people,
(12:15):
they'll tell you they look forsomebody that's laser focused,
that they don't get distractedeasily.
They make up their own mind.
It's not an arrogance, but it'sa confidence of self-esteem,
that they're able and capable tohandle the position they're
going into, because they haveexperiences in their past.
And that's the only way you canget the confidence in the
(12:37):
moment to go forward in thefuture.
You can't just drop in andexpect: Okay, here I am at a
brokerage.
Now I'm going to be amillionaire stockbroker.
But wait a minute.
What's a short?
What's a call?
What's a put?
What's a stop short?
I don't understand those terms.
Well, let's go down the halland learn how to do the mail
packages, first, deliver them tothe office.
(12:59):
And so you build up thisrepertoire of experiences, and
in order to do that you have tobe patient.
But if you have a plan, if youhave a goal, a destination, and
then, working backwards, youhave smaller goals all the way
back to the present, you will besuccessful.
(13:21):
I call it the order of events.
Okay.
You can't want to go to Hawaiiand be there tomorrow.
You have a series of eventsthat you have to work through,
and if you don't do each eventin sequence and finish the step
or the goal before you go to thenext one, you will fail.
(13:42):
You won't get there.
You want to go to Hawaii?
Fine, what airline am I goingto go?
What hotel am I going to stay?
How much is it going to cost?
Where do I buy the ticket?
Where do I rent a car?
Who do I call today?
Is my credit card enough that Ican put all these purchases on?
How much money am I going totake?
I have to go to the bank.
And so, you go through theprocess, you get down to have
(14:05):
the ticket, the car is coming inthe morning.
Oh, I have to pack a bag.
You can't pack the bag afteryou leave, you have to pack the
bag ahead of time.
So that simple, simplisticexplanation is how not to be
confused is order of events.
It is a law.
You cannot do things out oforder or you fail.
(14:27):
You have to go step by step bystep.
Write them down, make a list,check them off.
Many famous people I know,including the lady on the Shark
Tank, she has what she calls theto-do list in front of her.
It has five columns, I heardher tell this, the other day and
she knows who she has tocontact and what she has to do,
(14:48):
and she writes in something shedoes, something she calls up
about, something she assignsresponsibility for, somebody
else has to work for, orsomebody has to carry out what
she's ordering.
That way, she knows where sheis, at any moment.
But if it's not in front of her, it's not on the list, she's
going to forget about it.
She's so distracted and has somany things to do, which goes
right to your question.
(15:09):
So how can people figure out,not to be confused?
Plan.
Don't tell anybody your plans.
Implement your plans yourself.
.
ot if you're not able andcapable of doing it, it at that
moment, get the equipment, getthe experience, get the
knowledge so that you can do ityourself.
And, most importantly, .
(15:31):
Teach teach yourself willpower.
It's the most powerful force inthe universe.
Ross Peterson Peters once toldme it's more powerful than all
the bombs man could make and putthem in one place.
Willpower of one person.
And so, if you have willpower,you're laser focused, you keep
(15:51):
quiet, you don't tell anybodyyour plans and, most importantly
, like the gamblers at the table, no need to count your money
when you're at the table.
Put it in your .
Fermez la bouche.
Go go home and then count your.
And and, of course, when youmake a mistake, experience.
Limit limit your losses, lossesif you can.
(16:14):
But if you lose and you go bust, no reason not to start right
over the next day and learn fromwhat happened to you.
Mistakes and errors naturallycome along.
If you're on a highway, there'salways going to be a pothole,
always.
There's always going to besomebody out there that's going
(16:35):
to pretend to be your friend andthey're not.
There's always somebody outthere that's going to try to
steal your idea.
There's always somebody outthere that's going to try to get
in and rob you, push you out ofthe way and take over your
project.
So if you have that in yourmind that these are
possibilities that are alwaysgoing to happen, it starts with
you talking too much.
(16:56):
So if you don't talk too much,give away your plans, how much
money you got, etc.
etc.
those people that come alongwill bounce off you.
They won't try to get into yourlife to take advantage of you.
You know there's an adage, somewise man said: beware your
enemies.
We all know that.
And then he said (17:15):
but beware your friends more.
So when you first hear that,like I'm saying that to people
for the first time, when I heardit, I went: no, my friends are
my friends.
And then all of a sudden wait aminute.
Friends may not be your friendswhen it comes to material
(17:36):
things.
They might try to take themaway because they're envious or
jealous or they think they'resmarter or they deserve it more.
All we have to do is slip overinto the world of inheritances
and see how families fight andhow one child will try to take
advantage and knock anotherchild, their brother or sister,
out of the will because theythink they should get it all.
So narcissists, egomaniacs,pretenders, dumb people that
(18:00):
think they're really smart(those are the ones to really
watch for), y ou have to avoidthem.
And so what are we saying here?
The image I have is get a broomand sweep your mind clear.
Make a plan and say what youget, you deserve, because you
did it.
If you bring other people inlike partners, whatever, you're
(18:21):
bringing in some doubt.
You're bringing in people whoare relying on you to be right
and they're going to takeadvantage of you.
They don't need you as much asyou think you need them.
So how to be straight up andsuccessful?
One foot in front of the other.
Rely on good old self.
The universe to provide.
Have a plan.
(18:41):
Keep your plan to yourself andhide your wealth.
Don't spread it around.
Always be humble.
Sign on the dotted line, whenit comes time to do so.
Don't procrastinate.
You can't buy a house, unlessyou sign on the dotted line.
Even though you have all theresearch and you've found three
or four properties and they suityou, got the mortgage monies
(19:03):
all together, you're all suitedup, ready to go, you still have
to sign on the dotted line.
So the final thing is commitment.
100%.
When you're committed, if youhave doubt in your mind, that
means you haven't done yourresearch, you haven't figured
out all the possible things thatmight go wrong, or where the
weaknesses are, or you're notassured that the steps you're
(19:25):
going to take are going to besuccessful.
Most successful business peopleknow how to manage risk.
So when they go into something,there's nothing unknown.
They have gotten rid of all theuncertainties, they know
exactly what's going to happenand then, when it happens, order
of events, they know they're onthe right track.
If it doesn't happen, they getright on it, and they fix it.
(19:46):
What's going wrong?
What didn't I see?
Let's fix it right away.
A nd as you continue to takeyour steps with that process,
that, my friends, is the key tosuccess in anything, in
everything in life.
And it starts by listening tothe Wake Up.
And as you wake up and as youapply yourself, the amount of
(20:11):
information to be successful isout there, all over the place.
Focus, laser focus.
Don't be distracted andremember: k eep your prayer to
yourself and you will besuccessful.
I'm your host, Douglas JamesCottrell, with my good friend
and co-host, Les Hubert.
Until next time, let's wish youpeace and prosperity.
Announcer (20:33):
Thank you very much for listening to Wake Up.
If you enjoyed this episode, besure to subscribe so you'll be
notified when a new episode isposted, and we'd greatly
appreciate your review of ourshow on iTunes or wherever you
get your podcasts to let othersknow about the great content
we're producing.
For more about Dr Douglas'sself-development classes, books
(20:55):
and other related products,please visit his website
douglasjamescottrell.
com.
Until next time, we wish youall of God's blessings: health,
wealth and peace of mind.
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