February 7, 2025 • 26 mins
On this episode, Nellie encourages listeners to visualize achieving their 12 biggest desires over the next year and to explore how their future selves accomplished these goals. She discusses the importance of identifying what to add, delete, or let go of to make progress. Personal examples include maintaining consistent habits like taking 10,000 steps daily, adding kid-free work time, and letting go of the need to be liked by everyone. Nellie emphasizes the value of firm boundaries, minimalism, and focusing on what truly matters. She also highlights the significance of passion and action in achieving success and maintaining momentum.
We will touch on:
- Visualizing Future Success
- Curiosity and Inspiration from Others
- The Power of Visualization and Self-Reflection
- Identifying Areas for Improvement
- Personal Examples of Growth and Letting Go
- Embracing Boldness and Expanding Comfort Zones
- The Naked Method and Minimalism
- Focusing on the Dominant Category
- Taking Steps and Maintaining Momentum
- Final Encouragement and Closing Remarks
Let's Take Some Action:
- Create consistent time windows to work on the business without interruptions from kids.
- Be more firm and set clearer boundaries in business relationships, even if it means not being liked by everyone.
- Pitch and pursue interviews with big-name guests.
Shout out to René Barlow for sponsoring this episode!!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Unknown (00:01):
Welcome back to the wake up and be wealthy show. I
am so glad that you're here,because this is a really fun and
powerful exercise to to go intoa time machine and really put
yourself into the future, right?
Like, let's say you create those12 big desires for the next 365,
days that I've been talkingabout, like, poof, they're done.
(00:22):
You're in the future. You havethem. You're like, Oh my gosh. I
like, This is amazing. Like, Ican believe it, because, like, I
put in the work, huh? I did it,right? Like, that always feels
so good. Like, I can't wait tocross the finish line for my
full marathon, because I justknow that delicious feeling of
crossing the finish line andjust how good it feels right,
(00:45):
like going to the eras concertwith Sarah soon after that. Like
I just, I'm already, like,living in it, in in even have
it. Those things haven't theyhaven't happened yet, but I
just, like, I can already feelit right. It's almost like
you're already in the future.
Like I felt that with, like,growing both of my kids and my
(01:09):
tummy, and I'm like, Oh my gosh,the minute I can just, like,
hold them on my chest. And Ijust can't wait, like, that
anticipation of that futuremoment is amazing. Even when you
go on vacation, you're like, ohmy gosh, I just can't wait to,
like, hear the ocean and, like,have a cocktail in my hand,
right? Like, whatever it may beyou, you know what I'm talking
(01:29):
about. So I want you to, like,transport yourself into the
future, and you have all ofthose things that you wrote down
that you really, really arecurrently desiring. And like,
you already have them, okay? Andso you're looking at yourself in
the mirror, and you're like,like, how did you do it? Right?
Like, okay, like, you did it,but, like, How'd you do it?
(01:52):
Like, because when we seesomebody else create something
that we desire, don't we askthat? Like, even if you don't
directly ask them, we've allbeen there where, like, that
person loses the weight, or theymake a massive amount of money,
or they, like, you know,spontaneously meet the love of
their life, like something bigin their life happens, and
(02:13):
you're genuinely, hopefullyexcited for them. And then
equally, you ask, how'd you doit? Right, like we're nosy
humans, and especially when it'ssomething juicy that we also
desire, we're like, can you tellme? Can you like spill the tea?
I'll never forget I spoke on thesame stage as Gary V years ago,
(02:34):
and when I got invited to thatopportunity, I was in shock that
the the event, was able to haveGary Vee come, and I even did
this where I asked, I'm like,How'd you get Gary Vee here?
Like, that's pretty cool. Andhe's like, I wrote a check. He's
(02:55):
like, I wrote a check. Everyonehas a price, right? And it just,
it honestly made me laugh,because I was like, Oh yeah, it
could actually be that simple,right? Like, he didn't have to,
like, call in a bunch of favors,like he did a few, like,
marketing strategies to, like,get his attention. But then he
was like, prepared to, like, payfor his time, and Gary V has a
price, y'all, and he came, andhe was amazing. And so down to
(03:19):
earth, and so cool. And, like, Iwas like, Oh my gosh, I just
spoke on the same stage as GaryV that's pretty cool. But, yeah,
that was just really interestingto me. So that's really what I'm
talking about here, whereyou're, like, going into the
future, you you meet your, youknow, wealthiest self that
created those 12 things thatyou're currently desiring right
now. If you haven't listened tothat episode, go back and
(03:42):
listen. I like break it all downfor you. It's so good. So those
12 things are created. Andyou're looking at your
wealthiest self, and you'relike, how do you do it? Right?
And so this exercise is what sheOkay, your future self is
telling you. And when we can dothis exercise, the reason why
it's powerful is you're creatingthis out of body experience
(04:05):
where you can start to see howyour current self could be,
either slowing you down, selfsabotaging, and most
importantly, actually makingprogress. Right? Because we are
making progress, and it's hardto see it when you're like when
you're in it right? But the goalhere is that we also identify
(04:27):
where you could be slowingyourself down, where you could
be self sabotaging, and when wecan pull that away faster.
Wouldn't you know it that thatweight that comes off helps you
go faster? So with that beingsaid, I want to give a shout out
to our podcast sponsor of theday, which is Renee. Doesn't
(04:47):
that just even sound good? Sheis here to support you with all
of your book keeping needs,which it is never too early to
get those books in order,especially with tax season. So
you can just be on top. Of yourgame. So please, please, please,
reach out to Renee. Herinformation is in the podcast
episode, and that way you canconnect with her and just see if
(05:09):
you're a good fit and if she's agood fit for you and all of the
things. But like, I've been sograteful to have bookkeeping in
my business since the beginning,because that is not my strong
suit that is not my zone ofgenius. And so it really helps
to have just all of that reallyorganized with your wealthiest
self, like, I hope Renee is,like, going to be really excited
(05:30):
that I'm saying this, but Ireally do mean it, like your
wealthiest self has her books inorder, right? Like she's
financially organized. And solet's do that now, ladies, okay,
let's do that now. Let's figureout what works for you. But if
you don't have a bookkeeper, Iencourage you to reach out to
Renee and just say hey and seeif she's a good fit for you. And
(05:52):
like, I even remember years agowhen I was in the nonprofit
space. Obviously, a nonprofitdoesn't have a lot of, like,
extra money. Like, the goal isthat operations are as minimal
as possible in a nonprofit, andso we couldn't have a
bookkeeper. It didn't makefinancial sense to have a
bookkeeper for the nonprofit,but I said I called a bookkeeper
(06:13):
that got recommended to me, andI said, Can you teach me? Can I
pay you to teach me? And thisamazing woman, her name was
Lauren, she came and I paid her$75 an hour, and she sat next to
me, I think at the time, I waslike, 20 years old, and I
(06:34):
believe this is what makessomebody really successful.
They're willing to learn,they're willing to put in the
time, and it was so helpful tohave that person literally next
to me that, like, just tell mewhat to do, right? Like, tell me
what to do, and that way I can,like, understand it and then go
do it, right? So little sidebarthere, but let's dive into this
(06:56):
exercise. Okay, so you'resitting across from your
wealthiest self, and she'ssaying, This is what I did,
right? You're like, how did youdo it? And this is what she
tells you. So the questions thatyou want to ask yourself in this
exercise is, in order to createthose 12 things, what do you
need to be doing more of? Whatdo you need to be adding in that
(07:19):
you're not currently doing, thiscan be also personal and
professional, okay? And what doyou like need to delete, and
this could even be like, let go,okay, but we all know that there
are things that we need todelete we need to let go, maybe
even delay, okay, I don't wantyou to think that you have to,
(07:39):
like, abandon something orsomeone forever. So it may even
be like a delay or a pause, butyour energy is going in so many
different directions, and it itcan slow you down, right like we
want to harness that energy,harness that focus, so you can
actually create the 12 thingsthat you desire and so much
(08:03):
more. And the cool part aboutthis framework is then you just
rinse and repeat over and overand over again. Now logically,
we know that we desire those 12things, right? We want to put
them on a piece of paper if wedidn't desire them. But a lot of
times we are self sabotaging andcreating delays because we're
(08:28):
afraid, right? We're afraid ofhaving it, we're afraid of maybe
losing it, we're afraid of whatother people are going to think.
And so so much of what actuallyis slowing us down is things
that we're not right, who werenot actually meant to be. And so
(08:49):
that has been one of my biggestrevelations, is like, I can
actually just be who I am andaccomplish everything that I
want. Like, really, like thatcan happen. Like, I can be a,
you know, a busy mom. I can bein leggings, which I am right
now, and sneakers. Did you seehim? I can just be my quirky,
(09:10):
fun, silly, you know, self andlike, people will actually like
me, and they'll want to hang outwith me, and they'll want to buy
for me, right? Like that was, Ihad to work on that because I
did not believe it. I did notbelieve it. I thought I had to
always have it together. Like,if a child came into a video
(09:30):
like, oh my gosh, like, they'reon to me, type of thing, if a
kid was screaming, you know,God forbid that I cuss, right?
Always have my makeup on. Alwayshave my hair perfectly done. I
should be dressed to the nineslike I was trying to be somebody
that I really wasn't. And I hadto let go. I had to let that go.
(09:50):
So this category has been thebiggest one for me, truly, like
I am all about. Like, I'm anaction taker. Maybe you're like
me, like you tell me what to do.
I'm going to do it. But like,for some reason this one was,
this one was the mostchallenging for me, but also the
most freeing. Okay, so I didthis exercise earlier today, and
(10:16):
I thought it was really, reallypowerful. And so I was going to
share some of mine with you inthis current moment, right?
Because wealth is not adestination. Wealth is a
journey. And so the finish lineis always moving. And so you're
technically, hopefully nevergoing to meet your wealthiest
wealthiest self, but you aregoing to hopefully meet the next
(10:39):
version of your wealthiest self,and then, like, human nature is
you're like, Okay, now, what,right, like, now, what do I want
to do? This is really big inHollywood, right where, like a
lot of people in Hollywood thatyou admire don't necessarily
need to do another movie. Or,like Taylor Swift, she doesn't
really need any more money. SheShe's good, but she loves what
(11:03):
she does. And that's why passionthroughout this whole process is
so important. Because whenpassion is fueling you, then
you're you're doing it becauseyou want to do it. It feels
good, right? And that is really,really important. Okay, so the
more category is really, like, alot of it, well, adding in and,
(11:27):
like, I think I said keepingtoo. So, like, things that
you're already doing that areworking right, but then we may
want to add more into it. Sowe'll that those can all be
clumped in because they're,either you're doing them, and
we're going to keep doing them,or we want to do them more. So
you can even just like, write alittle bit like, ooh, do this
one more. Okay, so I'm very,very consistent with my 10k
(11:50):
steps. I always would, like, Ialways welcome more. But like,
the the energetic minimum is 10ksteps I take my green daily
green shot every day. Okay, sogreens, I take my ADHD meds.
Okay, so these are, like, myhabits that are really, really
helping. Um, we're doing daily,uh, deals and giveaways. Okay,
(12:15):
so daily deals and giveaways. Sothese are mine. Okay? I do live
video very consistently. Okay,we have dedicated family time
very consistently. I am gonnaput a star next to that, because
(12:36):
I can never get enough. I amhappiest at home, truly like I
just love being home.
And then let's see what elsehere.
Those are, like, the big ones sofar, we can always go back. So
the big one for me to add, I amcraving consistent kid free
(12:58):
time, where I can, just like,plow through a bunch of tasks
and not get interrupted. That byfar, is probably one of my
biggest hurdles right now,because I can break things up
during the day, but I'm finding,from an energetic standpoint, it
like drains my energy. My brainfeels like scrambled eggs
(13:18):
because I have to stop andstart. And that is by design. I
decided to come home. I knewwhat I was getting myself into,
right? Like, I closed down myoffice, we pulled Boone out of
daycare, like I knew, like Iknew what I was getting myself
into. But I've been craving justlike, a chunk of time. I don't
need a lot of time. Like mybusiness is very streamlined. I
(13:39):
have support, but there arestill things that only I can do.
And what would feel incredibleto me is just to have that,
like, two hour block where I canjust, like, run. I have that a
lot of times for clients, butlike, this is more for for me.
So I've already been thinkingabout that and strategizing
(13:59):
about that. So, like timewindows to work on my business,
Kid free, and they're consistenttoo. That's, that's the that's
the kicker. Time windows to workon the business consistently.
(14:25):
Okay, oops. One thing that I'verecently let go of that has been
so liberating is being at peaceif someone is not down with how
I am doing things in mybusiness. I still had, like, a
little bit of remnants in that,but like, I've taken a bold
(14:46):
stance on like, this is howwe're doing the fearless
challenge. This is how wealthyyear is going to go. You know,
if you're paying us on a paymentplan, like this is like, this is
the these are the expectations.
And if the payment is. Isthere's a late fee. Like, I've
really, like, we've been reallystepping up our game on some
energetic boundaries that I'vekind of been a little loosey
(15:08):
goosey on out of fear ofsomebody judging me for them.
But like to be in my energeticbubble is a gift, just as much
as it is to be in yours, andyour energy is worth millions
and millions and millions ofdollars. I believe that to my
core. And so when we have thatloosey, goosey energy, it starts
to drain that energy. And like,if you had, like, like, if I had
(15:34):
a big bucket of cash, and Istarted flushing it down the
toilet, and like, it wasmillions of dollars, you'd be
like, no. What are you doing?
Like, don't do that Nelly,right? And that was, like, your
money, you'd be like, No. And sowe get to protect our energy so
much more than maybe we're doingright now. And so that has been
(15:56):
a big one for me as of just evena few weeks. It's like, there
gets to be more firmness andlove, but firmness, right? Like,
there's, there's a new sheriffin town, and like, we're going
places, and like, we get to risetogether. And equally, a lot of
those things, I was an ableenabling behavior that isn't
helping that person either,right? And so it's like, taking
(16:19):
that firm stance of, like, I'mhere. I'm okay if you don't like
me. Like, truly, whether you'reworking with me or not, I'm not
here to be liked like, myhusband likes me. For the most
part, my kids like me. That'sall that I need, right? Like,
it's a bonus if you like me. Iam here to change lives. And so
(16:40):
I was really still strugglingwith, you know, the the goal of
being liked versus the goal ofbeing respected. And so you've
gotta pick like. You've gottapick which one is the dominant
goal. Do you want to berespected or do you want to be
liked? And it's very, veryimportant, whether it's in
(17:00):
business or in your personallife, if you heard the story
that happened the other day atWalmart, you know a man was
driving and I accidentally wentdown the wrong lane in the
parking lot. I pulled over so hecould go through, and he decided
to roll his window down to scoldme, and so I rolled mine down,
(17:23):
but I spoke up for myself. Soit's like again, like firm,
energetic boundaries are key. Hekept insisting for me to go
over, but I was out of the way,right? It made no sense. And so
I said, I will move when, like Iwill move and go into the other
lane when I want to have a greatday, I was out of his way keep
(17:48):
it moving right. And so that waskey, because again, loosey
goosey energy could be runningthe show for you, and it spills
over to other categories of yourlife, whether it's in business,
your personal relationships,professional relationships, your
kids. Like, I've even beengetting more firm with some
boundaries with my kids,because, again, loosey goosey
(18:09):
energy. Like, just because I'mflexible and easy going doesn't
mean I'm a doormat, and so I'vehad to really work on that, so
letting go of doormat energy, tobe honest, doormats are cute
outside your door. That's it,okay. And it really does take
(18:29):
time and practice, butpersistency, so letting go of
doormat energy, and I quiteliterally believe that my
confidence has been skyrocketingbecause of it, right? Like,
again, you don't have to be abitch. You don't have to be
mean. I, I believe in kindness,but kindness doesn't mean that
(18:51):
you're a doormat. And so I'vereally had to work on that.
Another thing that I noticeddoing this exercise today was I,
I've always put myself out thereand in so many different ways,
but I'm still holding back,like, when I, like, really
thought about, like, mywealthiest self, and the How did
(19:11):
you do it? Like, what landed forme was, go bigger. Go bigger.
Like, be bolder, go bigger. Andspecifically, because that's
vague, but like, specifically,there's some really big names
that I desire to interview, andso I've noticed, like, Okay, why
(19:31):
am I not pursuing thatconversation yet? Is it out of
worry of, what is it going tocost to interview that person,
right? Do I think I'm ready forthat? Like, I've had that
thought a few times, or I'mlike, Well, I'm still working
on, like, this, that the otherand it's like, no, like, you can
at least get the process going,right? Like, start to get in the
(19:55):
energy of it, which is what I'vebeen teaching you, and when we
can start to get into. Theenergy of it, it starts to
regulate it and feel normal foryou, which is huge, and you
start to expand your comfortzone. So from the AB category,
pitching big names to interviewhas been a big one for me.
(20:19):
So these are just a fewexamples. I could fill and flood
this whole page, but I wantedto, like, show you. And here's
the most interesting part,probably a year and a half ago,
this one was filled, filledlike, Oh yes, I need to delete
that. Delay that let that go.
Let that go. Let that go. Okay,this might be people, places,
(20:42):
things, thoughts, but if youfind that you're my past self,
like a year and a half ago, thisone was what was the most full,
okay, so when you're doing thisand you're being really, really
honest with yourself, look atwhich category is the most
dominant. That's where you needto focus first. Okay, so the
(21:04):
last year and a half have youheard me talk about this? I call
it the naked method, like I havestripped away thing. Like, our
house is so minimal, our budgetis so minimal. Like, I don't get
my nails done. I took, you know,the extensions out my makeup is
more minimal, like my scheduleis more minimal, like everything
is so minimalist. And so I callit the naked method. And so the
(21:29):
reason being is because thiscategory was like suffocating
me, like I couldn't even see theforest through the trees,
because I like it was just somuch. It was so much like I
desired these things over here.
And so letting go of all of thisthen created this category. So
(21:54):
typically, depending on whereyou're asked, this will be the
first one that you work on. Thenthis will be the second one,
okay? And then this will be thethird, okay. And the reason
being is we want that strongfoundation, but we can't have
that strong foundation until welet a bunch of stuff go, and
then we can add more in, andyou'll be in the right mindset,
(22:17):
and you'll be in the rightenergy to start adding in, and
it will be very easy for you tosee what you need or want to add
in. Okay, so look at your listand then just pick one thing in
the category that you're goingto be focusing on, and you can
still be working simultaneouslyon all three categories, but I
(22:39):
would recommend one to be like,where the most amount of tension
goes, like attention, so thatway you can plow through that
one so much faster. And the moreyou do that, the more momentum
it'll create, the moreconfidence will create. And then
you'll just be able to get tothat wealthiest self and be
(23:00):
like, Oh my gosh, we did it,right? We did it, and you could
probably do it in record time.
The more you keep leaning in.
Don't give up, even when there'sa hiccup, even when there's a
setback, don't give up. Take adeep breath, focus on your list
and take it one step at a time,okay, I love you. I'll see you
(23:23):
next time. Bye.
Welcome back to the wake up and be wealthy show. I
am so glad that you're here,because this is a really fun and
powerful exercise to to go intoa time machine and really put
yourself into the future, right?
Like, let's say you create those12 big desires for the next 365,
days that I've been talkingabout, like, poof, they're done.
(00:22):
You're in the future. You havethem. You're like, Oh my gosh. I
like, This is amazing. Like, Ican believe it, because, like, I
put in the work, huh? I did it,right? Like, that always feels
so good. Like, I can't wait tocross the finish line for my
full marathon, because I justknow that delicious feeling of
crossing the finish line andjust how good it feels right,
(00:45):
like going to the eras concertwith Sarah soon after that. Like
I just, I'm already, like,living in it, in in even have
it. Those things haven't theyhaven't happened yet, but I
just, like, I can already feelit right. It's almost like
you're already in the future.
Like I felt that with, like,growing both of my kids and my
(01:09):
tummy, and I'm like, Oh my gosh,the minute I can just, like,
hold them on my chest. And Ijust can't wait, like, that
anticipation of that futuremoment is amazing. Even when you
go on vacation, you're like, ohmy gosh, I just can't wait to,
like, hear the ocean and, like,have a cocktail in my hand,
right? Like, whatever it may beyou, you know what I'm talking
(01:29):
about. So I want you to, like,transport yourself into the
future, and you have all ofthose things that you wrote down
that you really, really arecurrently desiring. And like,
you already have them, okay? Andso you're looking at yourself in
the mirror, and you're like,like, how did you do it? Right?
Like, okay, like, you did it,but, like, How'd you do it?
(01:52):
Like, because when we seesomebody else create something
that we desire, don't we askthat? Like, even if you don't
directly ask them, we've allbeen there where, like, that
person loses the weight, or theymake a massive amount of money,
or they, like, you know,spontaneously meet the love of
their life, like something bigin their life happens, and
(02:13):
you're genuinely, hopefullyexcited for them. And then
equally, you ask, how'd you doit? Right, like we're nosy
humans, and especially when it'ssomething juicy that we also
desire, we're like, can you tellme? Can you like spill the tea?
I'll never forget I spoke on thesame stage as Gary V years ago,
(02:34):
and when I got invited to thatopportunity, I was in shock that
the the event, was able to haveGary Vee come, and I even did
this where I asked, I'm like,How'd you get Gary Vee here?
Like, that's pretty cool. Andhe's like, I wrote a check. He's
(02:55):
like, I wrote a check. Everyonehas a price, right? And it just,
it honestly made me laugh,because I was like, Oh yeah, it
could actually be that simple,right? Like, he didn't have to,
like, call in a bunch of favors,like he did a few, like,
marketing strategies to, like,get his attention. But then he
was like, prepared to, like, payfor his time, and Gary V has a
price, y'all, and he came, andhe was amazing. And so down to
(03:19):
earth, and so cool. And, like, Iwas like, Oh my gosh, I just
spoke on the same stage as GaryV that's pretty cool. But, yeah,
that was just really interestingto me. So that's really what I'm
talking about here, whereyou're, like, going into the
future, you you meet your, youknow, wealthiest self that
created those 12 things thatyou're currently desiring right
now. If you haven't listened tothat episode, go back and
(03:42):
listen. I like break it all downfor you. It's so good. So those
12 things are created. Andyou're looking at your
wealthiest self, and you'relike, how do you do it? Right?
And so this exercise is what sheOkay, your future self is
telling you. And when we can dothis exercise, the reason why
it's powerful is you're creatingthis out of body experience
(04:05):
where you can start to see howyour current self could be,
either slowing you down, selfsabotaging, and most
importantly, actually makingprogress. Right? Because we are
making progress, and it's hardto see it when you're like when
you're in it right? But the goalhere is that we also identify
(04:27):
where you could be slowingyourself down, where you could
be self sabotaging, and when wecan pull that away faster.
Wouldn't you know it that thatweight that comes off helps you
go faster? So with that beingsaid, I want to give a shout out
to our podcast sponsor of theday, which is Renee. Doesn't
(04:47):
that just even sound good? Sheis here to support you with all
of your book keeping needs,which it is never too early to
get those books in order,especially with tax season. So
you can just be on top. Of yourgame. So please, please, please,
reach out to Renee. Herinformation is in the podcast
episode, and that way you canconnect with her and just see if
(05:09):
you're a good fit and if she's agood fit for you and all of the
things. But like, I've been sograteful to have bookkeeping in
my business since the beginning,because that is not my strong
suit that is not my zone ofgenius. And so it really helps
to have just all of that reallyorganized with your wealthiest
self, like, I hope Renee is,like, going to be really excited
(05:30):
that I'm saying this, but Ireally do mean it, like your
wealthiest self has her books inorder, right? Like she's
financially organized. And solet's do that now, ladies, okay,
let's do that now. Let's figureout what works for you. But if
you don't have a bookkeeper, Iencourage you to reach out to
Renee and just say hey and seeif she's a good fit for you. And
(05:52):
like, I even remember years agowhen I was in the nonprofit
space. Obviously, a nonprofitdoesn't have a lot of, like,
extra money. Like, the goal isthat operations are as minimal
as possible in a nonprofit, andso we couldn't have a
bookkeeper. It didn't makefinancial sense to have a
bookkeeper for the nonprofit,but I said I called a bookkeeper
(06:13):
that got recommended to me, andI said, Can you teach me? Can I
pay you to teach me? And thisamazing woman, her name was
Lauren, she came and I paid her$75 an hour, and she sat next to
me, I think at the time, I waslike, 20 years old, and I
(06:34):
believe this is what makessomebody really successful.
They're willing to learn,they're willing to put in the
time, and it was so helpful tohave that person literally next
to me that, like, just tell mewhat to do, right? Like, tell me
what to do, and that way I can,like, understand it and then go
do it, right? So little sidebarthere, but let's dive into this
(06:56):
exercise. Okay, so you'resitting across from your
wealthiest self, and she'ssaying, This is what I did,
right? You're like, how did youdo it? And this is what she
tells you. So the questions thatyou want to ask yourself in this
exercise is, in order to createthose 12 things, what do you
need to be doing more of? Whatdo you need to be adding in that
(07:19):
you're not currently doing, thiscan be also personal and
professional, okay? And what doyou like need to delete, and
this could even be like, let go,okay, but we all know that there
are things that we need todelete we need to let go, maybe
even delay, okay, I don't wantyou to think that you have to,
(07:39):
like, abandon something orsomeone forever. So it may even
be like a delay or a pause, butyour energy is going in so many
different directions, and it itcan slow you down, right like we
want to harness that energy,harness that focus, so you can
actually create the 12 thingsthat you desire and so much
(08:03):
more. And the cool part aboutthis framework is then you just
rinse and repeat over and overand over again. Now logically,
we know that we desire those 12things, right? We want to put
them on a piece of paper if wedidn't desire them. But a lot of
times we are self sabotaging andcreating delays because we're
(08:28):
afraid, right? We're afraid ofhaving it, we're afraid of maybe
losing it, we're afraid of whatother people are going to think.
And so so much of what actuallyis slowing us down is things
that we're not right, who werenot actually meant to be. And so
(08:49):
that has been one of my biggestrevelations, is like, I can
actually just be who I am andaccomplish everything that I
want. Like, really, like thatcan happen. Like, I can be a,
you know, a busy mom. I can bein leggings, which I am right
now, and sneakers. Did you seehim? I can just be my quirky,
(09:10):
fun, silly, you know, self andlike, people will actually like
me, and they'll want to hang outwith me, and they'll want to buy
for me, right? Like that was, Ihad to work on that because I
did not believe it. I did notbelieve it. I thought I had to
always have it together. Like,if a child came into a video
(09:30):
like, oh my gosh, like, they'reon to me, type of thing, if a
kid was screaming, you know,God forbid that I cuss, right?
Always have my makeup on. Alwayshave my hair perfectly done. I
should be dressed to the nineslike I was trying to be somebody
that I really wasn't. And I hadto let go. I had to let that go.
(09:50):
So this category has been thebiggest one for me, truly, like
I am all about. Like, I'm anaction taker. Maybe you're like
me, like you tell me what to do.
I'm going to do it. But like,for some reason this one was,
this one was the mostchallenging for me, but also the
most freeing. Okay, so I didthis exercise earlier today, and
(10:16):
I thought it was really, reallypowerful. And so I was going to
share some of mine with you inthis current moment, right?
Because wealth is not adestination. Wealth is a
journey. And so the finish lineis always moving. And so you're
technically, hopefully nevergoing to meet your wealthiest
wealthiest self, but you aregoing to hopefully meet the next
(10:39):
version of your wealthiest self,and then, like, human nature is
you're like, Okay, now, what,right, like, now, what do I want
to do? This is really big inHollywood, right where, like a
lot of people in Hollywood thatyou admire don't necessarily
need to do another movie. Or,like Taylor Swift, she doesn't
really need any more money. SheShe's good, but she loves what
(11:03):
she does. And that's why passionthroughout this whole process is
so important. Because whenpassion is fueling you, then
you're you're doing it becauseyou want to do it. It feels
good, right? And that is really,really important. Okay, so the
more category is really, like, alot of it, well, adding in and,
(11:27):
like, I think I said keepingtoo. So, like, things that
you're already doing that areworking right, but then we may
want to add more into it. Sowe'll that those can all be
clumped in because they're,either you're doing them, and
we're going to keep doing them,or we want to do them more. So
you can even just like, write alittle bit like, ooh, do this
one more. Okay, so I'm very,very consistent with my 10k
(11:50):
steps. I always would, like, Ialways welcome more. But like,
the the energetic minimum is 10ksteps I take my green daily
green shot every day. Okay, sogreens, I take my ADHD meds.
Okay, so these are, like, myhabits that are really, really
helping. Um, we're doing daily,uh, deals and giveaways. Okay,
(12:15):
so daily deals and giveaways. Sothese are mine. Okay? I do live
video very consistently. Okay,we have dedicated family time
very consistently. I am gonnaput a star next to that, because
(12:36):
I can never get enough. I amhappiest at home, truly like I
just love being home.
And then let's see what elsehere.
Those are, like, the big ones sofar, we can always go back. So
the big one for me to add, I amcraving consistent kid free
(12:58):
time, where I can, just like,plow through a bunch of tasks
and not get interrupted. That byfar, is probably one of my
biggest hurdles right now,because I can break things up
during the day, but I'm finding,from an energetic standpoint, it
like drains my energy. My brainfeels like scrambled eggs
(13:18):
because I have to stop andstart. And that is by design. I
decided to come home. I knewwhat I was getting myself into,
right? Like, I closed down myoffice, we pulled Boone out of
daycare, like I knew, like Iknew what I was getting myself
into. But I've been craving justlike, a chunk of time. I don't
need a lot of time. Like mybusiness is very streamlined. I
(13:39):
have support, but there arestill things that only I can do.
And what would feel incredibleto me is just to have that,
like, two hour block where I canjust, like, run. I have that a
lot of times for clients, butlike, this is more for for me.
So I've already been thinkingabout that and strategizing
(13:59):
about that. So, like timewindows to work on my business,
Kid free, and they're consistenttoo. That's, that's the that's
the kicker. Time windows to workon the business consistently.
(14:25):
Okay, oops. One thing that I'verecently let go of that has been
so liberating is being at peaceif someone is not down with how
I am doing things in mybusiness. I still had, like, a
little bit of remnants in that,but like, I've taken a bold
(14:46):
stance on like, this is howwe're doing the fearless
challenge. This is how wealthyyear is going to go. You know,
if you're paying us on a paymentplan, like this is like, this is
the these are the expectations.
And if the payment is. Isthere's a late fee. Like, I've
really, like, we've been reallystepping up our game on some
energetic boundaries that I'vekind of been a little loosey
(15:08):
goosey on out of fear ofsomebody judging me for them.
But like to be in my energeticbubble is a gift, just as much
as it is to be in yours, andyour energy is worth millions
and millions and millions ofdollars. I believe that to my
core. And so when we have thatloosey, goosey energy, it starts
to drain that energy. And like,if you had, like, like, if I had
(15:34):
a big bucket of cash, and Istarted flushing it down the
toilet, and like, it wasmillions of dollars, you'd be
like, no. What are you doing?
Like, don't do that Nelly,right? And that was, like, your
money, you'd be like, No. And sowe get to protect our energy so
much more than maybe we're doingright now. And so that has been
(15:56):
a big one for me as of just evena few weeks. It's like, there
gets to be more firmness andlove, but firmness, right? Like,
there's, there's a new sheriffin town, and like, we're going
places, and like, we get to risetogether. And equally, a lot of
those things, I was an ableenabling behavior that isn't
helping that person either,right? And so it's like, taking
(16:19):
that firm stance of, like, I'mhere. I'm okay if you don't like
me. Like, truly, whether you'reworking with me or not, I'm not
here to be liked like, myhusband likes me. For the most
part, my kids like me. That'sall that I need, right? Like,
it's a bonus if you like me. Iam here to change lives. And so
(16:40):
I was really still strugglingwith, you know, the the goal of
being liked versus the goal ofbeing respected. And so you've
gotta pick like. You've gottapick which one is the dominant
goal. Do you want to berespected or do you want to be
liked? And it's very, veryimportant, whether it's in
(17:00):
business or in your personallife, if you heard the story
that happened the other day atWalmart, you know a man was
driving and I accidentally wentdown the wrong lane in the
parking lot. I pulled over so hecould go through, and he decided
to roll his window down to scoldme, and so I rolled mine down,
(17:23):
but I spoke up for myself. Soit's like again, like firm,
energetic boundaries are key. Hekept insisting for me to go
over, but I was out of the way,right? It made no sense. And so
I said, I will move when, like Iwill move and go into the other
lane when I want to have a greatday, I was out of his way keep
(17:48):
it moving right. And so that waskey, because again, loosey
goosey energy could be runningthe show for you, and it spills
over to other categories of yourlife, whether it's in business,
your personal relationships,professional relationships, your
kids. Like, I've even beengetting more firm with some
boundaries with my kids,because, again, loosey goosey
(18:09):
energy. Like, just because I'mflexible and easy going doesn't
mean I'm a doormat, and so I'vehad to really work on that, so
letting go of doormat energy, tobe honest, doormats are cute
outside your door. That's it,okay. And it really does take
(18:29):
time and practice, butpersistency, so letting go of
doormat energy, and I quiteliterally believe that my
confidence has been skyrocketingbecause of it, right? Like,
again, you don't have to be abitch. You don't have to be
mean. I, I believe in kindness,but kindness doesn't mean that
(18:51):
you're a doormat. And so I'vereally had to work on that.
Another thing that I noticeddoing this exercise today was I,
I've always put myself out thereand in so many different ways,
but I'm still holding back,like, when I, like, really
thought about, like, mywealthiest self, and the How did
(19:11):
you do it? Like, what landed forme was, go bigger. Go bigger.
Like, be bolder, go bigger. Andspecifically, because that's
vague, but like, specifically,there's some really big names
that I desire to interview, andso I've noticed, like, Okay, why
(19:31):
am I not pursuing thatconversation yet? Is it out of
worry of, what is it going tocost to interview that person,
right? Do I think I'm ready forthat? Like, I've had that
thought a few times, or I'mlike, Well, I'm still working
on, like, this, that the otherand it's like, no, like, you can
at least get the process going,right? Like, start to get in the
(19:55):
energy of it, which is what I'vebeen teaching you, and when we
can start to get into. Theenergy of it, it starts to
regulate it and feel normal foryou, which is huge, and you
start to expand your comfortzone. So from the AB category,
pitching big names to interviewhas been a big one for me.
(20:19):
So these are just a fewexamples. I could fill and flood
this whole page, but I wantedto, like, show you. And here's
the most interesting part,probably a year and a half ago,
this one was filled, filledlike, Oh yes, I need to delete
that. Delay that let that go.
Let that go. Let that go. Okay,this might be people, places,
(20:42):
things, thoughts, but if youfind that you're my past self,
like a year and a half ago, thisone was what was the most full,
okay, so when you're doing thisand you're being really, really
honest with yourself, look atwhich category is the most
dominant. That's where you needto focus first. Okay, so the
(21:04):
last year and a half have youheard me talk about this? I call
it the naked method, like I havestripped away thing. Like, our
house is so minimal, our budgetis so minimal. Like, I don't get
my nails done. I took, you know,the extensions out my makeup is
more minimal, like my scheduleis more minimal, like everything
is so minimalist. And so I callit the naked method. And so the
(21:29):
reason being is because thiscategory was like suffocating
me, like I couldn't even see theforest through the trees,
because I like it was just somuch. It was so much like I
desired these things over here.
And so letting go of all of thisthen created this category. So
(21:54):
typically, depending on whereyou're asked, this will be the
first one that you work on. Thenthis will be the second one,
okay? And then this will be thethird, okay. And the reason
being is we want that strongfoundation, but we can't have
that strong foundation until welet a bunch of stuff go, and
then we can add more in, andyou'll be in the right mindset,
(22:17):
and you'll be in the rightenergy to start adding in, and
it will be very easy for you tosee what you need or want to add
in. Okay, so look at your listand then just pick one thing in
the category that you're goingto be focusing on, and you can
still be working simultaneouslyon all three categories, but I
(22:39):
would recommend one to be like,where the most amount of tension
goes, like attention, so thatway you can plow through that
one so much faster. And the moreyou do that, the more momentum
it'll create, the moreconfidence will create. And then
you'll just be able to get tothat wealthiest self and be
(23:00):
like, Oh my gosh, we did it,right? We did it, and you could
probably do it in record time.
The more you keep leaning in.
Don't give up, even when there'sa hiccup, even when there's a
setback, don't give up. Take adeep breath, focus on your list
and take it one step at a time,okay, I love you. I'll see you
(23:23):
next time. Bye.
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