January 19, 2024 • 28 mins
I am thrilled to share my personal journey of financial freedom. Mastering my finances led me to my love for cruising, shifting my mindset from mere budgeting to managing money to create the life I desire. You too can re-evaluate your understanding of personal finances and unlock the potential in your income for a fulfilling lifestyle.
We're going to talk about prioritizing expenses, managing personal finances, and building a healthy financial legacy for you and your children. I'll share insights from my own experience of paying off student loans and credit card debts, creating a simple yet effective system for tracking expenses, and making strategic use of your tax returns. Let's break free from financial shackles and start walking towards a better financial future today!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey y'all.
Hey, it's your girl, dr Mary LBoy, the reposition specialist.
You are listening to the WalkDeva Walk podcast.
This podcast is for you, thewoman, specifically the black
woman, who's had enough.
Enough of saying no to yourkids because you can't afford it
.
How about robbing Peter to payPaul, working two or three jobs
(00:25):
just to make ends meet?
Enough of running from yourGod-given purpose and enough of
just being sick and tired ofbeing sick and tired On this
journey.
With the Walk Deva Walk podcast, I will help you overcome your
past, face your present and walkinto your God-given, purposed
(00:46):
future, so you can support yourfamily the way that you desire,
live in abundance and overflow.
Live birth to that God-givenpurpose, giving birth to your
dreams and desires.
How about travel and experiencethe world in ways that you and
your family will never forget?
(01:07):
Have joy and peace so you canlive.
Are you ready?
Let's walk, hey Deva.
Hey, do you know why you asbroke as you are?
Because your money managementgame is all wrong.
It's wrong because you don'teven know how to.
You don't know how to manageyour money.
(01:32):
People have been trying to tellyou oh, budget this and budget
that.
Who wants to live a budget life.
Not I.
I do not want to live a budgetlife.
You shouldn't have to live abudget life.
If you manage your money right,you can absolutely live the
(01:52):
life that you want to live.
One of the things that myhusband and I love to do is
travel, and cruising is ourthing.
We love to cruise Like thelongest cruise we've gone on has
been a 22-day cruise.
Can you imagine being on acruise ship for 22 days?
(02:14):
Now some people may say, mary,you crazy, I can't even do seven
days, let alone 22 days.
Well, that's my thing, that'smy juge, right?
I love cruising.
And so we start.
My first cruise and this is howI was introduced to cruising was
my honeymoon.
Okay, so I did not plan myhoneymoon, I had nothing to do
(02:37):
with it.
I didn't know what we weredoing until the week we were
getting married, because I hadto pack for it.
Okay, I told you, I live inAtlanta, but I got married in DC
and we left for our honeymoonfrom DC, so of course, I had to
pack everything and take itthere.
So that was my first cruise andit was a Royal Caribbean cruise
(03:03):
on the.
What miracle or mirage, that'swhat it was?
It was the mirage of the seas,the O-M-G.
When I tell y'all, when I got onthat ship, mm-mm-mm-mm, and
(03:23):
they had the lead on that thebuffet, all you can eat.
Now I told y'all, this is myfirst one, so I didn't know what
to expect.
All you can eat.
And the one of the things theyhad on there was crab legs.
My husband said, uh-oh, becausehe know me and some crabs.
(03:43):
We can sit for hours and hours.
We can sit for hours.
At least I can sit for hoursand eat crabs and crab legs.
I grew up on the blue crabs,but just to sit and crack open
some crab, I could do it forhours.
So he was like, uh-oh, am Igoing to have to leave you
sitting here?
And I say you just might, right?
(04:05):
So that was my first experiencein cruising and I was hooked.
And I tell you I was hookedafter that.
So a couple of years passed andI'm like I want to go on another
cruise.
And again this was 2003.
(04:26):
And you know we were makingdecent money, but it wasn't.
We wasn't rolling in it.
You know, we were livingpaycheck to paycheck.
Okay, and I said now I'm goingto figure out how we're going to
get on another cruise.
We're going to figure thisthing out.
And we found the cruise that wewanted to go on.
(04:49):
We figured out the type ofcabin.
Now, on the my honeymoon cruise,we stayed in an inside cabin
and my mother-in-law hadsuggested that to my husband
because they weren't sure if Iwas going to get seasick.
He had been on many cruises.
His family cruised from thetime he was a little boy, and so
(05:12):
they said get an inside cabin.
They wasn't sure if I was goingto be sick and I did not get
sick.
So when I learned aboutbalconies, I said, oh no, the
next one we got to upgrade.
Now we need a balcony.
So we priced it and everythingand I looked and said, ok, this
is what we want to do.
(05:33):
What do we have to do toaccomplish it?
How do we need to manage ourmoney to do this?
And it wasn't even creating abudget on it.
When I go, I like to go.
If I'm going to do something,I'm going to do it big.
My mama used to tell me I hadsteak taste while hot dog money,
(05:55):
and that is the truth of thematter.
I grew up like that.
If you put four things in frontof me in different prices and I
don't see the price and you say, pick out the one you like.
Nine times out of 10, I'm goingto pick out the most expensive
one.
Unknowingly, that is the mostexpensive one.
That's just my taste.
So budgets are hard for me.
(06:19):
I'm just going to be honest.
Budgets are hard for me so Ihave decided to make to shift my
mind to managing your money tobe able to do what you want to
do.
Okay, so that's what I did and Irealized you know how you get
(06:41):
those.
Well, we don't get them anymore, those social security
statements.
We used to get them all thetime back then and I've never
really looked at them.
I didn't.
But one day I did and when Isaw how much money that my
(07:03):
husband and I were bringing intoour house and I compared it to
our monthly expenses, I saidwhere's the money going?
Where is the money going?
Because I know what this daywe're making and we were making
(07:25):
at that time right around sixfigures together.
I said I know this is saying wemake six figures and I'm like
and at this time we had no debty'all outside of our mortgage,
because I had done the whole allthe credit cards.
(07:46):
When I went into college, youknow they give you all the
credit cards.
I didn't know what to do withthem.
I know nothing about money.
My lesson on money from myparents, or my mom, was pay your
bills on time, that's it.
She didn't even have a creditcard.
So I'm like, oh, credit cards,and they were giving them away.
(08:09):
I went to Howard HU, right, Iwent to Howard, right down in
the Blackburn Center freshmanyear, all the credit card
companies lined up ready to getyou in debt.
Oh, the lessons that I havelearned since then.
Ready to get you in debt andyou for it, because you think
(08:32):
it's free money.
$500 here, $1,000 here, $250here right, they're giving it to
you.
And, of course, I got in debt,in bad debt, because I moved out
when I was 18, got a place withsome friends and I think I was
making at that time what $8, $9an hour.
(08:53):
I'm like you know who couldafford credit cards and be
spending it, and then you don'thave the money to pay it back.
So, anyway, that's there wewere and we had decided that we
were not going to get any creditcards and I didn't understand
credit then, like I do now.
But we said we weren't gettingany credit cards If we can't
(09:16):
afford to pay for the cash.
We weren't going to do it.
So all our bad debt that we hadhad already been paid off.
I had student loans back thenand y'all heard the way I did my
student loans.
I filed my taxes and let mytaxes pay my student loans every
(09:37):
year.
That's how I paid them off.
So I wasn't making monthlypayments every year.
I knew I was getting a taxreturn and every tax return it
went towards my student loanuntil my student loan was paid
off.
And then my credit cards.
I slowly paid those off.
Couple of them kind of fell off, thank God, and it was clear.
(09:59):
So we said that was it.
So when I looked at thestatement and I looked at my
bills and all I had was amortgage, a card note, because
in my household we had two cardsbut we only believed in one
card note.
So we had one card with a cardnote and one hooptie, as they
(10:20):
would say back in the day.
It wasn't really ahooptie-hooptie.
It was a Nissan Sentra and Ihad had that for about six years
and it was paid off.
So we had that car.
And then we had an expeditionnavigator.
We had a black Lincolnnavigator truck.
(10:41):
That's the one we were payingon.
So we had that card, note card,insurance and then everything
else you know gas, electric,water, this that you know.
And I'm looking at what we putout y'all, the math wasn't
mathin'.
The math was not mathin'.
(11:02):
I'm like.
This says we should have everymonth at least an additional
$3,000.
Like, where is it?
Where is it going?
What are we doing with it?
(11:24):
I mean, it was crazy and I hadto say, okay, mary, you have to
do better, you have to knowwhere your money is going at all
times.
Right, and so I createdsomething simple.
I didn't go out here and getany fancy software or anything
(11:44):
like that.
I took an Excel spreadsheet,literally Y'all, with all the
things there is today.
I still use my Excelspreadsheet.
I took my Excel spreadsheet.
I left one row.
I'm teaching y'all somethinghere.
Okay, I left one row blank.
(12:06):
So row number one was blank.
Column A, starting in row two,is where I wrote the names of
all my bills Gas, electric,water, cable, whatever.
All your bills, cardinal, carinsurance, mortgage, ties,
(12:27):
everything in that column.
Then in column B, row one, Iwrote the total amount of income
into my household, okay, so myhusband's check and my check for
(12:48):
the month, what that added upto me, and I put that there
Beside each bill.
I did a minus any amount.
So if my card note was $350, Iwill put minus 350.
If my insurance was $125, I putminus 125,.
(13:10):
Okay, so you do that all theway down beside each bill.
When you get to the last one,you do this formula.
It's real easy, do this formula.
And if you need to Google howto do a sum formula, s-u-m
formula in Excel, google it isreal easy.
(13:32):
You click on I can't even likethe backwards E.
I can't even think of the nameor what that sign is.
Right now, sigma sign, right,you do the sigma sign and it's
going to ask you what do youwant to calculate?
And you just highlight from B2down to your last entry and
(13:55):
enter and it's going to subtractall of that from your total
income and tell you what youhave left.
When I did that I was I meanagain I was floored.
I was like wait, because theyou know the little checkbook
ledger thing.
(14:15):
That just didn't work for me.
I mean, it's the same concept,it just didn't work.
It didn't work for me.
For that part it worked.
For once I calculated how muchI would have left, and then my
everyday spending outside ofbills.
It worked for that.
(14:36):
But to do this process andunderstanding where you are
financially and how to manageyour money from there, I had to
do it this way.
So when I saw it, that's whenit was like, oh, wow, okay, now
what do we do from here?
(14:56):
Then my husband and I sat downand we started talking about
things that we wanted to do, howmuch they were going to cost
when we were going to do it,what we were going to invest in,
and so you know.
So, once you do that, then youcan give yourself an allowance
and not just spend like, oh, Igot $2,000, I'm just going to
(15:17):
spend $2,000.
Then you're always at zero,which means you're always broke.
Okay, you don't want to alwaysbe broke, so you want to pay
yourself, typically about 10%.
You pay yourself 10%.
That's your allowance.
Now you nail this way budgetincome man.
(15:38):
Now you got a budget, what youhave, which means you got to
decide if you're going to eatout, if you're going to go to
that event, if you're going tobuy yourself some new pair of
shoes that you always wanted notthat you need, but you want it.
So you have to determine howyou spend your allowance.
Okay, so, and then what's left?
(16:01):
So I haven't allowance, myhusband haven't allowance, and
what's left now, you like?
Okay, I'm going to put 20% intosome type of savings account,
and we're going to talk aboutsavings in the next episode.
I hope you're ready.
So you're going to put 20% insome type of savings account.
(16:26):
You may put 10% towards the tripthat you want to take.
So I will put money towards mycruise, because it was always a
cruise.
Y'all Land trips didn't happenfor me.
Probably at least 15 yearslater, I didn't want to do land
trips.
I wanted to go on cruises andif I could, I would go at least
(16:46):
twice a year, and I had to gofor at least seven days and was
pushing towards 14 days.
Okay, that's my life, so that'swhat I love to do, so that's
what I put money towards.
And now you can say, wow, I'mreally not as broke as I thought
(17:07):
I was.
I really do have the money todo the things that I want to do.
I have $100 to register mybusiness.
You know that's how much itcosts in your state to register
your business.
Or I have $250 to buy suppliesfor my business, for whatever
(17:28):
that you, if you're doingsomething.
Let's say I'm a good girlfriend, she makes jewelry.
So let's say you make jewelryand you need to buy beads.
I have $250 and I'm going toinvest it in beads I have.
You know, you just have thethings.
I have something to put towardsmy son's football game,
(17:52):
whatever it is.
You are managing what you have,not just budgeting what you have
.
It's a huge difference betweenbudget.
I'm on a budget.
I can't spend more than $100over here.
(18:12):
I really need $500 over here,but I'm on a budget, so I can't
spend more than $100 over here.
Well, maybe if you get yourmoney management game together,
you will have the $500 and youdon't have to budget $100 when
you know you need $500.
Okay, so when it comes to moneymanagement, you first have to
(18:34):
truly know to the penny how muchyou have, how much your
expenses are and what you haveleft over, and then you
determine what to do with whatyou have left over, and part of
(18:57):
that is savings.
So if you are still talkingabout I don't have, I don't have
.
Your management is off and Iknow it is.
You know why?
Because your hair did, nailsdid, everything did.
Everything is dead.
(19:19):
Okay, you spending a hundredplus because I know my nails,
how much they cost.
Okay, and I don't even I don'tget the real long nails.
I love my designs though.
I love my designs.
So nails running $80, $90.
(19:39):
Some of y'all with the longextensions and with the diamonds
on them, and all of that, ahundred plus a good pedicure,
$60, $75.
And you don't miss a month thatyou don't get it done, and some
of y'all get it done every twoweeks.
Your weave is $300, $900,$1,000.
(20:03):
Y'all got enough wigs to startyour own wig store Because every
time you turn around you buythem.
So don't tell me you don't havemoney.
See, the problem is that peoplewe black folks, especially women
put money or put value inthings.
(20:26):
So you put value in the Jordans, you put value in the Lubus.
You put value in the Chanelbags.
You put value in the weavethat's 50 inches down to your
butt.
You put value in the acrylic onyour nails.
You put value in the $60 stakethat you eat in on the weekend.
(20:50):
You put value in the Patron andthe whatever, the Tequila and
the Hennessy and all the things.
That's what you put value in,and so that's where you spend
your money, but it's not givingyou anything back.
Oh, I got to get that.
Oh, savings, oh my.
(21:12):
So let me come back to moneymanagement.
You have to put value in thingsthat's going to have your money
, make money for you.
That's where your value come in, because if you are always only
going to spend everything youget on something that's not
going to give you any return,you will always be at ground
(21:36):
zero, forever and for always.
That was a song, wasn't it?
Forever, yeah, that was a song.
Forever Always.
Yeah, for love.
So you're doing enough of love,but for money, okay, listen,
(21:57):
that is, you will forever andfor always be broke.
Who wants to live like that?
At some point, you have to getto a place where you value
investing in yourself more thanspending money on yourself.
Spending an investment is twodifferent things.
(22:17):
So you have to value investingin yourself, because anytime
there's an investment, you wanta positive return.
So when you invest in yourself,your mindset is on I'm going to
get a positive return on thisinvestment.
So when you spend money, that'slike taking $10,000 and putting
(22:43):
it in the fireplace and usingit as Kenland to light the wood
because it's gone.
There really isn't a return.
The nails you're going to haveto get done over again.
The hair you're going to haveto get done over again.
The shoes are going to wear out.
The heel is going to break.
You're going to gain weight.
(23:04):
The clothes are going to be toosmall.
You're going to lose weight.
The clothes are going to be toobig, like all the things.
All of that stuff.
The purse you're chasing thelatest style, so you're going to
have a purse and then somebodyyou follow going to have another
purse and then you're going tobuy that and forget about the
(23:24):
light.
It all waste, right, andthere's nothing wrong with it,
because I like my heels down andnails dead too, okay, but it's
a time and a place for it and Iunderstand the difference.
But this is something that I hadto learn.
It's something that's not beingtaught to us in our community,
right, and so you have to getthis down, because if not, it
(23:50):
doesn't matter what businessthat you start, it doesn't
matter what hustle that you do,it doesn't matter what gig that
you take.
It doesn't matter what milliondollar business, seven figure,
eight figure business that youbuild, that you become a CEO of,
you just going to be high paidbroke.
High paid broke.
(24:13):
That's all you're going to doif you don't get this money
management game together.
So get your spreadsheet right.
If you don't know how to doExcel, ask somebody, google it,
youtube it it's 50 millionpeople on there.
That's explaining it right.
(24:35):
Use QuickBooks If you can andyou know QuickBooks and you want
a tool, use QuickBooks.
Get it attached right to yourbank account, easy and simple.
The easiest way, the simplestway, something everybody can do,
is an Excel spreadsheet.
Do that and then set some goalsfor yourself and look at what
(24:58):
you have left and manage thatmoney accordingly and right.
I'm telling you what I know,not what I think.
I've been in all areas of thespectrum when it came to money
Crying broke and truly brokelights out and can't get them
(25:19):
turned on cause I don't have nomoney, single mom working two
jobs trying to make it, and it'slike this is trash.
This is for the birds.
This is for the birds.
I've been there.
I've been high paid broke, madethe money and again, couldn't
(25:44):
figure out where it was going.
I knew I was making it, but Ididn't see it Until where I am
now.
It's a whole different level.
I'm so excited about it and I'mexcited for you on this journey
.
So that's it for me.
Y'all, divas, get your moneymanagement game together.
(26:07):
Money is a stressor for a lot ofpeople.
It can be the cause of physicalissues, health issues, because
you're stressed and worried andanxious all the time because of
money.
You can't afford for nothing tohappen.
You can't afford life to lifebecause of money.
(26:29):
It's not talked about.
All only thing that's talkedabout is again, chasing the bag.
I gotta chase the bag, chasethe bag, let me chase the bag, I
gotta get it, I gotta go.
I got like, yeah, you do notchase the bag, get the bag.
But then, once you get it, nowwhat Do you just live a life in
(26:53):
higher value, if you will higherprice tag and still be broke,
or do you figure out a way tomanage your money so that you
can not only leave a legacy foryour children, but live a legacy
for yourself?
That is the play.
So come play with me in thisarena, the money game.
(27:16):
I'm ready for you.
I love y'all.
Ain't nothing you can do aboutit?
Let's get it and let's walk it.
All right, divas, what anepisode.
Did I hit you in the head withone of those bricks.
Did you go out?
Did you have the ducking cover?
I know you went running aroundthe house checking for cameras,
(27:39):
looking under the bed, lookingout the window to see if I was
watching, cause I was all inyour business.
I was on your street and inyour lane.
It's okay, though.
It lets you know that you'renot alone.
I hope that something that youheard resonated with you and, as
(28:00):
a result, you are starting toreposition your mind so you can
have the life that you want tolive Now.
That's not all I have for youguys, not just what was in the
podcast, but now I want to giveyou a gift.
Go to wwwstopdrowningandwincom.
Wwwstopdrowningandwincom Toreceive the seven steps every
(28:29):
black woman must take this yearto break free and live her
dreams once and for all.
You will also have anopportunity to connect with our
community Again.
You are not alone.
The work is just beginning.
Are you ready?
Let's walk.
Hey y'all.
Hey, it's your girl, dr Mary LBoy, the reposition specialist.
You are listening to the WalkDeva Walk podcast.
This podcast is for you, thewoman, specifically the black
woman, who's had enough.
Enough of saying no to yourkids because you can't afford it
.
How about robbing Peter to payPaul, working two or three jobs
(00:25):
just to make ends meet?
Enough of running from yourGod-given purpose and enough of
just being sick and tired ofbeing sick and tired On this
journey.
With the Walk Deva Walk podcast, I will help you overcome your
past, face your present and walkinto your God-given, purposed
(00:46):
future, so you can support yourfamily the way that you desire,
live in abundance and overflow.
Live birth to that God-givenpurpose, giving birth to your
dreams and desires.
How about travel and experiencethe world in ways that you and
your family will never forget?
(01:07):
Have joy and peace so you canlive.
Are you ready?
Let's walk, hey Deva.
Hey, do you know why you asbroke as you are?
Because your money managementgame is all wrong.
It's wrong because you don'teven know how to.
You don't know how to manageyour money.
(01:32):
People have been trying to tellyou oh, budget this and budget
that.
Who wants to live a budget life.
Not I.
I do not want to live a budgetlife.
You shouldn't have to live abudget life.
If you manage your money right,you can absolutely live the
(01:52):
life that you want to live.
One of the things that myhusband and I love to do is
travel, and cruising is ourthing.
We love to cruise Like thelongest cruise we've gone on has
been a 22-day cruise.
Can you imagine being on acruise ship for 22 days?
(02:14):
Now some people may say, mary,you crazy, I can't even do seven
days, let alone 22 days.
Well, that's my thing, that'smy juge, right?
I love cruising.
And so we start.
My first cruise and this is howI was introduced to cruising was
my honeymoon.
Okay, so I did not plan myhoneymoon, I had nothing to do
(02:37):
with it.
I didn't know what we weredoing until the week we were
getting married, because I hadto pack for it.
Okay, I told you, I live inAtlanta, but I got married in DC
and we left for our honeymoonfrom DC, so of course, I had to
pack everything and take itthere.
So that was my first cruise andit was a Royal Caribbean cruise
(03:03):
on the.
What miracle or mirage, that'swhat it was?
It was the mirage of the seas,the O-M-G.
When I tell y'all, when I got onthat ship, mm-mm-mm-mm, and
(03:23):
they had the lead on that thebuffet, all you can eat.
Now I told y'all, this is myfirst one, so I didn't know what
to expect.
All you can eat.
And the one of the things theyhad on there was crab legs.
My husband said, uh-oh, becausehe know me and some crabs.
(03:43):
We can sit for hours and hours.
We can sit for hours.
At least I can sit for hoursand eat crabs and crab legs.
I grew up on the blue crabs,but just to sit and crack open
some crab, I could do it forhours.
So he was like, uh-oh, am Igoing to have to leave you
sitting here?
And I say you just might, right?
(04:05):
So that was my first experiencein cruising and I was hooked.
And I tell you I was hookedafter that.
So a couple of years passed andI'm like I want to go on another
cruise.
And again this was 2003.
(04:26):
And you know we were makingdecent money, but it wasn't.
We wasn't rolling in it.
You know, we were livingpaycheck to paycheck.
Okay, and I said now I'm goingto figure out how we're going to
get on another cruise.
We're going to figure thisthing out.
And we found the cruise that wewanted to go on.
(04:49):
We figured out the type ofcabin.
Now, on the my honeymoon cruise,we stayed in an inside cabin
and my mother-in-law hadsuggested that to my husband
because they weren't sure if Iwas going to get seasick.
He had been on many cruises.
His family cruised from thetime he was a little boy, and so
(05:12):
they said get an inside cabin.
They wasn't sure if I was goingto be sick and I did not get
sick.
So when I learned aboutbalconies, I said, oh no, the
next one we got to upgrade.
Now we need a balcony.
So we priced it and everythingand I looked and said, ok, this
is what we want to do.
(05:33):
What do we have to do toaccomplish it?
How do we need to manage ourmoney to do this?
And it wasn't even creating abudget on it.
When I go, I like to go.
If I'm going to do something,I'm going to do it big.
My mama used to tell me I hadsteak taste while hot dog money,
(05:55):
and that is the truth of thematter.
I grew up like that.
If you put four things in frontof me in different prices and I
don't see the price and you say, pick out the one you like.
Nine times out of 10, I'm goingto pick out the most expensive
one.
Unknowingly, that is the mostexpensive one.
That's just my taste.
So budgets are hard for me.
(06:19):
I'm just going to be honest.
Budgets are hard for me so Ihave decided to make to shift my
mind to managing your money tobe able to do what you want to
do.
Okay, so that's what I did and Irealized you know how you get
(06:41):
those.
Well, we don't get them anymore, those social security
statements.
We used to get them all thetime back then and I've never
really looked at them.
I didn't.
But one day I did and when Isaw how much money that my
(07:03):
husband and I were bringing intoour house and I compared it to
our monthly expenses, I saidwhere's the money going?
Where is the money going?
Because I know what this daywe're making and we were making
(07:25):
at that time right around sixfigures together.
I said I know this is saying wemake six figures and I'm like
and at this time we had no debty'all outside of our mortgage,
because I had done the whole allthe credit cards.
(07:46):
When I went into college, youknow they give you all the
credit cards.
I didn't know what to do withthem.
I know nothing about money.
My lesson on money from myparents, or my mom, was pay your
bills on time, that's it.
She didn't even have a creditcard.
So I'm like, oh, credit cards,and they were giving them away.
(08:09):
I went to Howard HU, right, Iwent to Howard, right down in
the Blackburn Center freshmanyear, all the credit card
companies lined up ready to getyou in debt.
Oh, the lessons that I havelearned since then.
Ready to get you in debt andyou for it, because you think
(08:32):
it's free money.
$500 here, $1,000 here, $250here right, they're giving it to
you.
And, of course, I got in debt,in bad debt, because I moved out
when I was 18, got a place withsome friends and I think I was
making at that time what $8, $9an hour.
(08:53):
I'm like you know who couldafford credit cards and be
spending it, and then you don'thave the money to pay it back.
So, anyway, that's there wewere and we had decided that we
were not going to get any creditcards and I didn't understand
credit then, like I do now.
But we said we weren't gettingany credit cards If we can't
(09:16):
afford to pay for the cash.
We weren't going to do it.
So all our bad debt that we hadhad already been paid off.
I had student loans back thenand y'all heard the way I did my
student loans.
I filed my taxes and let mytaxes pay my student loans every
(09:37):
year.
That's how I paid them off.
So I wasn't making monthlypayments every year.
I knew I was getting a taxreturn and every tax return it
went towards my student loanuntil my student loan was paid
off.
And then my credit cards.
I slowly paid those off.
Couple of them kind of fell off, thank God, and it was clear.
(09:59):
So we said that was it.
So when I looked at thestatement and I looked at my
bills and all I had was amortgage, a card note, because
in my household we had two cardsbut we only believed in one
card note.
So we had one card with a cardnote and one hooptie, as they
(10:20):
would say back in the day.
It wasn't really ahooptie-hooptie.
It was a Nissan Sentra and Ihad had that for about six years
and it was paid off.
So we had that car.
And then we had an expeditionnavigator.
We had a black Lincolnnavigator truck.
(10:41):
That's the one we were payingon.
So we had that card, note card,insurance and then everything
else you know gas, electric,water, this that you know.
And I'm looking at what we putout y'all, the math wasn't
mathin'.
The math was not mathin'.
(11:02):
I'm like.
This says we should have everymonth at least an additional
$3,000.
Like, where is it?
Where is it going?
What are we doing with it?
(11:24):
I mean, it was crazy and I hadto say, okay, mary, you have to
do better, you have to knowwhere your money is going at all
times.
Right, and so I createdsomething simple.
I didn't go out here and getany fancy software or anything
(11:44):
like that.
I took an Excel spreadsheet,literally Y'all, with all the
things there is today.
I still use my Excelspreadsheet.
I took my Excel spreadsheet.
I left one row.
I'm teaching y'all somethinghere.
Okay, I left one row blank.
(12:06):
So row number one was blank.
Column A, starting in row two,is where I wrote the names of
all my bills Gas, electric,water, cable, whatever.
All your bills, cardinal, carinsurance, mortgage, ties,
(12:27):
everything in that column.
Then in column B, row one, Iwrote the total amount of income
into my household, okay, so myhusband's check and my check for
(12:48):
the month, what that added upto me, and I put that there
Beside each bill.
I did a minus any amount.
So if my card note was $350, Iwill put minus 350.
If my insurance was $125, I putminus 125,.
(13:10):
Okay, so you do that all theway down beside each bill.
When you get to the last one,you do this formula.
It's real easy, do this formula.
And if you need to Google howto do a sum formula, s-u-m
formula in Excel, google it isreal easy.
(13:32):
You click on I can't even likethe backwards E.
I can't even think of the nameor what that sign is.
Right now, sigma sign, right,you do the sigma sign and it's
going to ask you what do youwant to calculate?
And you just highlight from B2down to your last entry and
(13:55):
enter and it's going to subtractall of that from your total
income and tell you what youhave left.
When I did that I was I meanagain I was floored.
I was like wait, because theyou know the little checkbook
ledger thing.
(14:15):
That just didn't work for me.
I mean, it's the same concept,it just didn't work.
It didn't work for me.
For that part it worked.
For once I calculated how muchI would have left, and then my
everyday spending outside ofbills.
It worked for that.
(14:36):
But to do this process andunderstanding where you are
financially and how to manageyour money from there, I had to
do it this way.
So when I saw it, that's whenit was like, oh, wow, okay, now
what do we do from here?
(14:56):
Then my husband and I sat downand we started talking about
things that we wanted to do, howmuch they were going to cost
when we were going to do it,what we were going to invest in,
and so you know.
So, once you do that, then youcan give yourself an allowance
and not just spend like, oh, Igot $2,000, I'm just going to
(15:17):
spend $2,000.
Then you're always at zero,which means you're always broke.
Okay, you don't want to alwaysbe broke, so you want to pay
yourself, typically about 10%.
You pay yourself 10%.
That's your allowance.
Now you nail this way budgetincome man.
(15:38):
Now you got a budget, what youhave, which means you got to
decide if you're going to eatout, if you're going to go to
that event, if you're going tobuy yourself some new pair of
shoes that you always wanted notthat you need, but you want it.
So you have to determine howyou spend your allowance.
Okay, so, and then what's left?
(16:01):
So I haven't allowance, myhusband haven't allowance, and
what's left now, you like?
Okay, I'm going to put 20% intosome type of savings account,
and we're going to talk aboutsavings in the next episode.
I hope you're ready.
So you're going to put 20% insome type of savings account.
(16:26):
You may put 10% towards the tripthat you want to take.
So I will put money towards mycruise, because it was always a
cruise.
Y'all Land trips didn't happenfor me.
Probably at least 15 yearslater, I didn't want to do land
trips.
I wanted to go on cruises andif I could, I would go at least
(16:46):
twice a year, and I had to gofor at least seven days and was
pushing towards 14 days.
Okay, that's my life, so that'swhat I love to do, so that's
what I put money towards.
And now you can say, wow, I'mreally not as broke as I thought
(17:07):
I was.
I really do have the money todo the things that I want to do.
I have $100 to register mybusiness.
You know that's how much itcosts in your state to register
your business.
Or I have $250 to buy suppliesfor my business, for whatever
(17:28):
that you, if you're doingsomething.
Let's say I'm a good girlfriend, she makes jewelry.
So let's say you make jewelryand you need to buy beads.
I have $250 and I'm going toinvest it in beads I have.
You know, you just have thethings.
I have something to put towardsmy son's football game,
(17:52):
whatever it is.
You are managing what you have,not just budgeting what you have
.
It's a huge difference betweenbudget.
I'm on a budget.
I can't spend more than $100over here.
(18:12):
I really need $500 over here,but I'm on a budget, so I can't
spend more than $100 over here.
Well, maybe if you get yourmoney management game together,
you will have the $500 and youdon't have to budget $100 when
you know you need $500.
Okay, so when it comes to moneymanagement, you first have to
(18:34):
truly know to the penny how muchyou have, how much your
expenses are and what you haveleft over, and then you
determine what to do with whatyou have left over, and part of
(18:57):
that is savings.
So if you are still talkingabout I don't have, I don't have
.
Your management is off and Iknow it is.
You know why?
Because your hair did, nailsdid, everything did.
Everything is dead.
(19:19):
Okay, you spending a hundredplus because I know my nails,
how much they cost.
Okay, and I don't even I don'tget the real long nails.
I love my designs though.
I love my designs.
So nails running $80, $90.
(19:39):
Some of y'all with the longextensions and with the diamonds
on them, and all of that, ahundred plus a good pedicure,
$60, $75.
And you don't miss a month thatyou don't get it done, and some
of y'all get it done every twoweeks.
Your weave is $300, $900,$1,000.
(20:03):
Y'all got enough wigs to startyour own wig store Because every
time you turn around you buythem.
So don't tell me you don't havemoney.
See, the problem is that peoplewe black folks, especially women
put money or put value inthings.
(20:26):
So you put value in the Jordans, you put value in the Lubus.
You put value in the Chanelbags.
You put value in the weavethat's 50 inches down to your
butt.
You put value in the acrylic onyour nails.
You put value in the $60 stakethat you eat in on the weekend.
(20:50):
You put value in the Patron andthe whatever, the Tequila and
the Hennessy and all the things.
That's what you put value in,and so that's where you spend
your money, but it's not givingyou anything back.
Oh, I got to get that.
Oh, savings, oh my.
(21:12):
So let me come back to moneymanagement.
You have to put value in thingsthat's going to have your money
, make money for you.
That's where your value come in, because if you are always only
going to spend everything youget on something that's not
going to give you any return,you will always be at ground
(21:36):
zero, forever and for always.
That was a song, wasn't it?
Forever, yeah, that was a song.
Forever Always.
Yeah, for love.
So you're doing enough of love,but for money, okay, listen,
(21:57):
that is, you will forever andfor always be broke.
Who wants to live like that?
At some point, you have to getto a place where you value
investing in yourself more thanspending money on yourself.
Spending an investment is twodifferent things.
(22:17):
So you have to value investingin yourself, because anytime
there's an investment, you wanta positive return.
So when you invest in yourself,your mindset is on I'm going to
get a positive return on thisinvestment.
So when you spend money, that'slike taking $10,000 and putting
(22:43):
it in the fireplace and usingit as Kenland to light the wood
because it's gone.
There really isn't a return.
The nails you're going to haveto get done over again.
The hair you're going to haveto get done over again.
The shoes are going to wear out.
The heel is going to break.
You're going to gain weight.
(23:04):
The clothes are going to be toosmall.
You're going to lose weight.
The clothes are going to be toobig, like all the things.
All of that stuff.
The purse you're chasing thelatest style, so you're going to
have a purse and then somebodyyou follow going to have another
purse and then you're going tobuy that and forget about the
(23:24):
light.
It all waste, right, andthere's nothing wrong with it,
because I like my heels down andnails dead too, okay, but it's
a time and a place for it and Iunderstand the difference.
But this is something that I hadto learn.
It's something that's not beingtaught to us in our community,
right, and so you have to getthis down, because if not, it
(23:50):
doesn't matter what businessthat you start, it doesn't
matter what hustle that you do,it doesn't matter what gig that
you take.
It doesn't matter what milliondollar business, seven figure,
eight figure business that youbuild, that you become a CEO of,
you just going to be high paidbroke.
High paid broke.
(24:13):
That's all you're going to doif you don't get this money
management game together.
So get your spreadsheet right.
If you don't know how to doExcel, ask somebody, google it,
youtube it it's 50 millionpeople on there.
That's explaining it right.
(24:35):
Use QuickBooks If you can andyou know QuickBooks and you want
a tool, use QuickBooks.
Get it attached right to yourbank account, easy and simple.
The easiest way, the simplestway, something everybody can do,
is an Excel spreadsheet.
Do that and then set some goalsfor yourself and look at what
(24:58):
you have left and manage thatmoney accordingly and right.
I'm telling you what I know,not what I think.
I've been in all areas of thespectrum when it came to money
Crying broke and truly brokelights out and can't get them
(25:19):
turned on cause I don't have nomoney, single mom working two
jobs trying to make it, and it'slike this is trash.
This is for the birds.
This is for the birds.
I've been there.
I've been high paid broke, madethe money and again, couldn't
(25:44):
figure out where it was going.
I knew I was making it, but Ididn't see it Until where I am
now.
It's a whole different level.
I'm so excited about it and I'mexcited for you on this journey
.
So that's it for me.
Y'all, divas, get your moneymanagement game together.
(26:07):
Money is a stressor for a lot ofpeople.
It can be the cause of physicalissues, health issues, because
you're stressed and worried andanxious all the time because of
money.
You can't afford for nothing tohappen.
You can't afford life to lifebecause of money.
(26:29):
It's not talked about.
All only thing that's talkedabout is again, chasing the bag.
I gotta chase the bag, chasethe bag, let me chase the bag, I
gotta get it, I gotta go.
I got like, yeah, you do notchase the bag, get the bag.
But then, once you get it, nowwhat Do you just live a life in
(26:53):
higher value, if you will higherprice tag and still be broke,
or do you figure out a way tomanage your money so that you
can not only leave a legacy foryour children, but live a legacy
for yourself?
That is the play.
So come play with me in thisarena, the money game.
(27:16):
I'm ready for you.
I love y'all.
Ain't nothing you can do aboutit?
Let's get it and let's walk it.
All right, divas, what anepisode.
Did I hit you in the head withone of those bricks.
Did you go out?
Did you have the ducking cover?
I know you went running aroundthe house checking for cameras,
(27:39):
looking under the bed, lookingout the window to see if I was
watching, cause I was all inyour business.
I was on your street and inyour lane.
It's okay, though.
It lets you know that you'renot alone.
I hope that something that youheard resonated with you and, as
(28:00):
a result, you are starting toreposition your mind so you can
have the life that you want tolive Now.
That's not all I have for youguys, not just what was in the
podcast, but now I want to giveyou a gift.
Go to wwwstopdrowningandwincom.
Wwwstopdrowningandwincom Toreceive the seven steps every
(28:29):
black woman must take this yearto break free and live her
dreams once and for all.
You will also have anopportunity to connect with our
community Again.
You are not alone.
The work is just beginning.
Are you ready?
Let's walk.
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