February 16, 2024 • 14 mins
Imagine a life where you're surrounded by genuine friendships that not only support you but challenge you to be your best self. That's the kind of life I've created and will be sharing with you in this exciting episode. We'll unpack the elements of true friendship, the importance of a strong support system, and the role of self-reflection in growing these connections. We'll also discuss the art of approachability and initiative, which are key to forming relationships that truly enrich our lives.
You might be wondering "What would it be like to get out of my comfort zone and make new connections?" In short- it could revolutionize your life. Don't worry, we'll get to this topic too, guiding you on how to overcome those reclusive habits and attend events that align with your interests. These steps can open doors to life-changing relationships and opportunities. So, let's not just dream, let's take action, connect, and grab the opportunities that come our way. Walk with me as we transform dreams into reality!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey y'all.
Hey, it's your girl, dr Mary LBoy, the reposition specialist.
You are listening to the WalkDeva Walk podcast.
This podcast is for you, thewoman, specifically the black
woman, who's had enough.
Enough of saying no to yourkids because you can't afford it
.
How about robbing Peter to payPaul, working two or three jobs
(00:25):
just to make ends meet?
Enough of running from yourGod-given purpose and enough of
just being sick and tired ofbeing sick and tired.
On this journey.
With the Walk Deva Walk podcast, I will help you overcome your
past, face your present and walkinto your God-given, purposed
(00:46):
future, so you can support yourfamily the way that you desire,
live in abundance and overflow.
Live birth to that God-givenpurpose, giving birth to your
dreams and desires.
How about travel and experiencethe world in ways that you and
your family will never forget?
(01:07):
Have joy and peace so you canlive.
Are you ready?
Let's walk.
Hey Deva, hey, listen, I wassitting here just thinking about
friendship and what does itmean to be a friend?
And how do you even make newfriends?
(01:28):
A lot of you all are sittingthere and you're waiting for
somebody to come up to you,somebody to approach you,
somebody to befriend you.
But the truth of the matter isyou have to take the first step.
If you want to make friends, ifyou want to be friends with
others, you have to make thefirst step because, honestly,
(01:52):
you can't be in this worldwithout friends.
I have a couple of best friends.
My first and you probably likeMary how do you have a couple of
best friends?
Listen, my first best friend ismy husband.
He is my best friend.
A friend is somebody that youcan tell the world to and you
(02:14):
know they will hold it to theirheart and protect you with it.
A friend is somebody that youare there for, that you can hold
them to your heart and protectit no matter what.
A friend is somebody that youcan sit in a room with in
(02:36):
silence and totally not beuncomfortable and just be in
each other's presence, and youlove it.
That's a friend, and my husbanddoes that for me.
A friend knows what you likeand go out their way to make you
(02:57):
happy in that, even if it'sjust a cup of coffee.
That leads me to my second bestfriend, my bestie-o.
Listen, she can be out andshe'll call me or text me and
say, hey, I'm going to Dunkin'Donuts.
She knows that's my favoritecoffee place.
(03:17):
You want a cup of coffee?
I'm running to the smoothieplace.
You want a smoothie?
Hey, I'm out and about in thisplace.
Yeah, that's a friend that justthinks about you just because,
without any strings attached,without wanting anything in
return, and I do the same thingfor her.
This is a restaurant that we goto all a lot and my husband and
(03:43):
I go to it.
We go to it on our couples'date nights and it's called
Firebird and they have thiscreme brulee cheesecake.
Oh, it is to die for.
And whenever my husband and Igo and it's just us two I always
get an extra piece to go and Ireach out to a y'all home yeah,
(04:09):
we home, and we drive by anddrop it off Like I got something
for down, even though we coming.
That's my friend, I know whatshe likes, right, we just think
about each other that way.
We were on vacation, my husbandand I, and she makes jewelry,
and they were selling thesebeads.
(04:30):
I think we were in St Lucia,think we were in St Lucia, and
they were selling these beadsand I immediately FaceTimed her
and was like look at these beads, you need any of these, you
want any of these, don't?
You want a friend like that?
And then my third bestie is mycoaching mentor.
(04:53):
When I tell you she has myheart in her hands, we will text
each other at the same timeabout the same thing.
It is crazy and it is hilarious.
It's kind of scary to tell youthe truth sometimes, right, but
you have somebody that caresabout you so much and want to
see you win in every area oftheir life and they're not
(05:18):
afraid to be like okay, I got totell you something, and it may
not be something you want tohear, it may not be something
that you like, but I got to tellyou.
Right, that's the type offriend you want.
So how do you make friends likethat?
First of all, you have topresent yourself friendly.
(05:38):
Okay, when you are out, if youare out, when you are out, if
you are at a gathering and youare staying office, you over in
the corner, you're not speakingto anybody.
You mean mugging everybody.
You looking everybody up anddown, you judging everybody.
(05:59):
Then who is actually going toapproach you to try to have a
conversation with you?
Right, nobody, because you'reunapproachable.
So, first of all, you have tobe approachable if you're
wanting somebody to come to you,but the best thing to do is put
yourself out there andintroduce yourself to other
(06:23):
people, show them who you are,show them your heart.
And yes, I know, I know thatyour heart has been broken by
people.
I know that your trust has beenbroken by people.
I know people have talked aboutyou.
You've tried to make friends,for whatever reason.
It just seems like it doesn'twork out.
(06:45):
There's some soul searchingthat has to be done.
There's some internal deepdiving that has to be done to
even sometimes see okay,self-examination, is it me?
That's the first thing that Ido in anything.
I don't mind self-examiningbecause I know I'm not perfect,
(07:11):
I know I'm not always right, Iknow that I don't know
everything about everything.
And if situations happen and Ifeel like they're continuing to
happen, I have to sit with itfor a minute and say okay, mary,
why does this keep happening?
What's going on with it?
Let me evaluate.
(07:32):
What am I putting out Right?
How am I coming across?
How am I talking to people?
What's my demeanor like whenpeople meet me?
Do I smile?
You ever meet somebody thatnever smiles?
They always look angry.
Well, who is going to approachanybody that always look angry.
(07:56):
Now me, because I am who I am,and if I see you all the time
and you not frowning I mean younot smiling and you're frowning
all the time, I'm going to askyou a question Are you okay
today?
Why you always look so sad?
Is everything okay?
Is it anything that I can do?
(08:17):
I may say smile, it is not thatbad.
I may walk up to you like youlook like you need a hug.
Let me give you a hug, okay.
So that's me.
I'm not saying that you have todo all of that, but if you are
going to make friends andfriends are so important in this
(08:40):
journey because you can't do itby yourself If I didn't have my
husband, if I didn't have mybestie, if I didn't have my
coach, if I didn't have my team,I couldn't be sitting here in
front of you today.
There's no way that I can do itwithout you.
(09:00):
People say that this, you know,this journey of life can be
lonely.
It's only lonely if you want itto be.
It's only lonely if you aresecluding yourself.
It's only lonely if you areallowing people to dictate, if
(09:21):
you're going to have friends.
Because the thing that happenedin the past that made you
become a recluse.
Right To become that introvertand who put that label on you
anyway?
Right To retreat and retractyourself.
When you do that, you havegiven them control.
(09:44):
And who are they to control whoyou are?
You said because you did thisto me, I'm no longer making
friends.
How do they have that muchpower over you?
Impossible, they shouldn't, sodon't let them.
So if you're watching this andyou're sitting here saying, ouch
(10:07):
, why is she stepping on my toes?
Why is she all in my business?
Why is she all on my street?
Listen, it's for you.
Get out your own way, putyourself out there.
And so what?
If somebody does something again, you learn from it and you do
(10:28):
it again, because nobody shouldhave that much power over you to
cause you not to have friends.
Nobody, no experience, no pastexperience, should ever cause
you to do that.
You are not put on this earthalone.
You are not put on this earthto be alone.
(10:50):
So stop being alone and go outthere and make a friend.
Today, it is somebody thatneeds you.
You think you need them, but itis somebody out there that
needs you as a friend, becauseyou know how to be one, right?
You know how to hold the secretclose to your heart.
You know how to check on them,just because you know how to do
(11:17):
for them, without expectinganything in return, because
these are the things that youwant for yourself, for yourself,
from your friend.
So, since you know how to do it, go out there and be it.
So I challenge you go somewherein an environment where it's a
(11:38):
lot of people and speak tosomebody.
Go into an environment, go,look.
Go to meetupcom People still domeetups now.
Go to meetupcom.
Go to an event, bright, go toFacebook events and look for
something that interests you,because the other thing is, it's
(12:01):
great to be friends withsomebody that has the same
interests as you.
So, if you like arts, look forart festival or art gallery that
you can go to.
If you like music, if you likejazz, look for a jazz festival
or a jazz restaurant or clubthat you can go to and put
(12:21):
yourself out there and meetsomebody.
Today, I'm telling you, yourlife will forever be changed.
So I hope this helped you, diva, to get out your way.
Not be a recluse, not just goto work, come home, close the
door and I don't deal withnobody Right?
(12:43):
Don't, don't do that.
Let's have friends, let's buildrelationships, because you
never know that relationship andthat friendship that you
develop can be a million-dollarfriendship will be in your
corner all the way.
You would be amazed.
(13:03):
So make a friend today.
I love to hear it Make commentson this post.
The friend that you have made,I want to talk to you about it.
I appreciate you.
I love y'all.
Ain't nothing you can do aboutit.
We are friends forever, forlife.
(13:25):
Be blessed y'all.
Live on purpose and let's walkAll right.
Divas, what an episode.
Did I hit you in the head withone of those bricks?
Did you go out?
Did you have the ducking cover?
I know you weren't runningaround the house checking for
cameras, looking under the bed,looking out the window to see if
(13:48):
I was watching, because I wasall in your business.
I was on your street and inyour lane.
It's okay, though.
It lets you know that you'renot alone.
I hope that something that youheard resonated with you and, as
a result, you are starting toreposition your mind so you can
(14:11):
have the life that you want tolive Now.
That's not all I have for youguys, not just what was in the
podcast.
But now I want to give you agift.
Go to wwwstopdrowningandwincomwwwstopdrowningandwincom To
(14:33):
receive the seven steps everyBlack woman must take this year
to break free and live herdreams once and for all.
You will also have anopportunity to connect with our
community Again.
You are not alone.
The work is just beginning.
Are you ready?
Let's walk.
Hey y'all.
Hey, it's your girl, dr Mary LBoy, the reposition specialist.
You are listening to the WalkDeva Walk podcast.
This podcast is for you, thewoman, specifically the black
woman, who's had enough.
Enough of saying no to yourkids because you can't afford it
.
How about robbing Peter to payPaul, working two or three jobs
(00:25):
just to make ends meet?
Enough of running from yourGod-given purpose and enough of
just being sick and tired ofbeing sick and tired.
On this journey.
With the Walk Deva Walk podcast, I will help you overcome your
past, face your present and walkinto your God-given, purposed
(00:46):
future, so you can support yourfamily the way that you desire,
live in abundance and overflow.
Live birth to that God-givenpurpose, giving birth to your
dreams and desires.
How about travel and experiencethe world in ways that you and
your family will never forget?
(01:07):
Have joy and peace so you canlive.
Are you ready?
Let's walk.
Hey Deva, hey, listen, I wassitting here just thinking about
friendship and what does itmean to be a friend?
And how do you even make newfriends?
(01:28):
A lot of you all are sittingthere and you're waiting for
somebody to come up to you,somebody to approach you,
somebody to befriend you.
But the truth of the matter isyou have to take the first step.
If you want to make friends, ifyou want to be friends with
others, you have to make thefirst step because, honestly,
(01:52):
you can't be in this worldwithout friends.
I have a couple of best friends.
My first and you probably likeMary how do you have a couple of
best friends?
Listen, my first best friend ismy husband.
He is my best friend.
A friend is somebody that youcan tell the world to and you
(02:14):
know they will hold it to theirheart and protect you with it.
A friend is somebody that youare there for, that you can hold
them to your heart and protectit no matter what.
A friend is somebody that youcan sit in a room with in
(02:36):
silence and totally not beuncomfortable and just be in
each other's presence, and youlove it.
That's a friend, and my husbanddoes that for me.
A friend knows what you likeand go out their way to make you
(02:57):
happy in that, even if it'sjust a cup of coffee.
That leads me to my second bestfriend, my bestie-o.
Listen, she can be out andshe'll call me or text me and
say, hey, I'm going to Dunkin'Donuts.
She knows that's my favoritecoffee place.
(03:17):
You want a cup of coffee?
I'm running to the smoothieplace.
You want a smoothie?
Hey, I'm out and about in thisplace.
Yeah, that's a friend that justthinks about you just because,
without any strings attached,without wanting anything in
return, and I do the same thingfor her.
This is a restaurant that we goto all a lot and my husband and
(03:43):
I go to it.
We go to it on our couples'date nights and it's called
Firebird and they have thiscreme brulee cheesecake.
Oh, it is to die for.
And whenever my husband and Igo and it's just us two I always
get an extra piece to go and Ireach out to a y'all home yeah,
(04:09):
we home, and we drive by anddrop it off Like I got something
for down, even though we coming.
That's my friend, I know whatshe likes, right, we just think
about each other that way.
We were on vacation, my husbandand I, and she makes jewelry,
and they were selling thesebeads.
(04:30):
I think we were in St Lucia,think we were in St Lucia, and
they were selling these beadsand I immediately FaceTimed her
and was like look at these beads, you need any of these, you
want any of these, don't?
You want a friend like that?
And then my third bestie is mycoaching mentor.
(04:53):
When I tell you she has myheart in her hands, we will text
each other at the same timeabout the same thing.
It is crazy and it is hilarious.
It's kind of scary to tell youthe truth sometimes, right, but
you have somebody that caresabout you so much and want to
see you win in every area oftheir life and they're not
(05:18):
afraid to be like okay, I got totell you something, and it may
not be something you want tohear, it may not be something
that you like, but I got to tellyou.
Right, that's the type offriend you want.
So how do you make friends likethat?
First of all, you have topresent yourself friendly.
(05:38):
Okay, when you are out, if youare out, when you are out, if
you are at a gathering and youare staying office, you over in
the corner, you're not speakingto anybody.
You mean mugging everybody.
You looking everybody up anddown, you judging everybody.
(05:59):
Then who is actually going toapproach you to try to have a
conversation with you?
Right, nobody, because you'reunapproachable.
So, first of all, you have tobe approachable if you're
wanting somebody to come to you,but the best thing to do is put
yourself out there andintroduce yourself to other
(06:23):
people, show them who you are,show them your heart.
And yes, I know, I know thatyour heart has been broken by
people.
I know that your trust has beenbroken by people.
I know people have talked aboutyou.
You've tried to make friends,for whatever reason.
It just seems like it doesn'twork out.
(06:45):
There's some soul searchingthat has to be done.
There's some internal deepdiving that has to be done to
even sometimes see okay,self-examination, is it me?
That's the first thing that Ido in anything.
I don't mind self-examiningbecause I know I'm not perfect,
(07:11):
I know I'm not always right, Iknow that I don't know
everything about everything.
And if situations happen and Ifeel like they're continuing to
happen, I have to sit with itfor a minute and say okay, mary,
why does this keep happening?
What's going on with it?
Let me evaluate.
(07:32):
What am I putting out Right?
How am I coming across?
How am I talking to people?
What's my demeanor like whenpeople meet me?
Do I smile?
You ever meet somebody thatnever smiles?
They always look angry.
Well, who is going to approachanybody that always look angry.
(07:56):
Now me, because I am who I am,and if I see you all the time
and you not frowning I mean younot smiling and you're frowning
all the time, I'm going to askyou a question Are you okay
today?
Why you always look so sad?
Is everything okay?
Is it anything that I can do?
(08:17):
I may say smile, it is not thatbad.
I may walk up to you like youlook like you need a hug.
Let me give you a hug, okay.
So that's me.
I'm not saying that you have todo all of that, but if you are
going to make friends andfriends are so important in this
(08:40):
journey because you can't do itby yourself If I didn't have my
husband, if I didn't have mybestie, if I didn't have my
coach, if I didn't have my team,I couldn't be sitting here in
front of you today.
There's no way that I can do itwithout you.
(09:00):
People say that this, you know,this journey of life can be
lonely.
It's only lonely if you want itto be.
It's only lonely if you aresecluding yourself.
It's only lonely if you areallowing people to dictate, if
(09:21):
you're going to have friends.
Because the thing that happenedin the past that made you
become a recluse.
Right To become that introvertand who put that label on you
anyway?
Right To retreat and retractyourself.
When you do that, you havegiven them control.
(09:44):
And who are they to control whoyou are?
You said because you did thisto me, I'm no longer making
friends.
How do they have that muchpower over you?
Impossible, they shouldn't, sodon't let them.
So if you're watching this andyou're sitting here saying, ouch
(10:07):
, why is she stepping on my toes?
Why is she all in my business?
Why is she all on my street?
Listen, it's for you.
Get out your own way, putyourself out there.
And so what?
If somebody does something again, you learn from it and you do
(10:28):
it again, because nobody shouldhave that much power over you to
cause you not to have friends.
Nobody, no experience, no pastexperience, should ever cause
you to do that.
You are not put on this earthalone.
You are not put on this earthto be alone.
(10:50):
So stop being alone and go outthere and make a friend.
Today, it is somebody thatneeds you.
You think you need them, but itis somebody out there that
needs you as a friend, becauseyou know how to be one, right?
You know how to hold the secretclose to your heart.
You know how to check on them,just because you know how to do
(11:17):
for them, without expectinganything in return, because
these are the things that youwant for yourself, for yourself,
from your friend.
So, since you know how to do it, go out there and be it.
So I challenge you go somewherein an environment where it's a
(11:38):
lot of people and speak tosomebody.
Go into an environment, go,look.
Go to meetupcom People still domeetups now.
Go to meetupcom.
Go to an event, bright, go toFacebook events and look for
something that interests you,because the other thing is, it's
(12:01):
great to be friends withsomebody that has the same
interests as you.
So, if you like arts, look forart festival or art gallery that
you can go to.
If you like music, if you likejazz, look for a jazz festival
or a jazz restaurant or clubthat you can go to and put
(12:21):
yourself out there and meetsomebody.
Today, I'm telling you, yourlife will forever be changed.
So I hope this helped you, diva, to get out your way.
Not be a recluse, not just goto work, come home, close the
door and I don't deal withnobody Right?
(12:43):
Don't, don't do that.
Let's have friends, let's buildrelationships, because you
never know that relationship andthat friendship that you
develop can be a million-dollarfriendship will be in your
corner all the way.
You would be amazed.
(13:03):
So make a friend today.
I love to hear it Make commentson this post.
The friend that you have made,I want to talk to you about it.
I appreciate you.
I love y'all.
Ain't nothing you can do aboutit.
We are friends forever, forlife.
(13:25):
Be blessed y'all.
Live on purpose and let's walkAll right.
Divas, what an episode.
Did I hit you in the head withone of those bricks?
Did you go out?
Did you have the ducking cover?
I know you weren't runningaround the house checking for
cameras, looking under the bed,looking out the window to see if
(13:48):
I was watching, because I wasall in your business.
I was on your street and inyour lane.
It's okay, though.
It lets you know that you'renot alone.
I hope that something that youheard resonated with you and, as
a result, you are starting toreposition your mind so you can
(14:11):
have the life that you want tolive Now.
That's not all I have for youguys, not just what was in the
podcast.
But now I want to give you agift.
Go to wwwstopdrowningandwincomwwwstopdrowningandwincom To
(14:33):
receive the seven steps everyBlack woman must take this year
to break free and live herdreams once and for all.
You will also have anopportunity to connect with our
community Again.
You are not alone.
The work is just beginning.
Are you ready?
Let's walk.
Popular Podcasts
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.