Decoding Goodness: Keys to Being a Better Man

Every man out there is trying to be a good man, but what does that really mean? What are the characteristics that define a good man? Drawing from a wellspring of personal experiences, I will take you through my journey on how I strive to embody the qualities that I believe signify a good man. We'll talk about good mental health, career success, and providing support to others. Inviting vulnerability into our lives, an aspect often shrouded in misconceptions, particularly around men's mental health, is a topic I feel deeply about. So, let's unravel the layers of what being a good man means and how vulnerability plays a pivotal role in it.

Continuing our discussion, we will explore how the inability to express vulnerability can lead to severe mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, and panic attacks. It's not just about being strong, it's about the strength in expressing your emotions and standing firm in your beliefs. When we talk about providing and protecting for our family and community, it's important to understand that your ability to do so can be seriously affected if you're mentally drained. So, let's take a step back from the futile online debates and focus on what truly matters - being the best version of ourselves. Whether you're a man looking for advice, or someone trying to understand the men in your life better, I hope you'll find value in our conversation. Join us, as we journey together towards understanding what it means to be a good man in today's world.

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Ask me any questions you would like answered in future episodes to help you with your struggles in life or career.
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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Passion, drive, persistence, resilience, love
all qualities that shape anddefine us.
Join the cyber warrior as hehelps shape your path.
This is Walk With Me.

Speaker 2 (00:29):
Welcome back to Walk With Me at Cyber Warrior Studios
Production.
I'm your host on this journey,the Cyber Warrior.
Now, today I want to cover twotopics, and they kind of go hand
in hand.
The first one I want to talkabout is actually based off of a
quote by Marcus Aurelius fromMeditations waste no more time
arguing what a good man shouldbe.

(00:50):
Be one Now.
See, that's very important to me, because anybody who follows me
, anybody who has listened tothis podcast for a while,
anybody who has watched any ofmy other content, they know that
I don't really do a whole lotof arguing.
Much of what I do is to promotemen's mental health, mental
health in general, careersuccess, helping others that's

(01:13):
what I do, and it's because, tome, that is that's what it is
for me.
To be a good man is to help mycommunity, help my family.
Right being able to provide,making sure that my wife, my
kids, anybody else that you know, if it's within my power, is
taken care of.
That's what it means to me.

(01:34):
So I know what it means to be agood man in my eyes.
I'm not going to sit there andargue with other people about,
oh, you should do this or youshould do that.
I will give my advice on myshows and within my content, but
I will not argue with youbecause there's no point why

(01:55):
argue?
Some people have their visionof what it means to be a good
man.
Some have their vision.
It doesn't matter To me.
I'm going to live by theexample I want to set for my
sons.
In this world, so much arguingis done online, so many people
think they know what's best forother people and they're willing

(02:16):
to argue about it.
I am willing to give advicebased off of my life experiences
, based off of how I am doingmentally, how I have done
mentally the ups, the downs, theroller coasters and everything.
I'm willing to do all thesethings because I know what has
worked for me.
But, as a lot of people willtell you, what works for one

(02:40):
person isn't necessarily goingto work for another.
So that is why I leave a lot ofmy advice generic to where it
can work for just about anybody.
But in particular with thistopic, with this quote what it
means to be a good man andpeople arguing about it, I see

(03:00):
it a lot, whether it's on TikTokor Facebook or Twitter or
Instagram or you name it.
I see comments all the timeabout what it is to be a man,
what's toxic about masculinity,what's this, that and a third,
and I'm not going to argue withit.
A lot of these people alreadyhave their minds made up.

(03:23):
They're not going to listen toother opinions.
So I'm going to live my lifedoing what I feel is best for me
promote good mental health,promote a good life for my kids
and my wife and my brothers andmy sisters and my warriors and
everybody else, and help outeverywhere I can.

(03:43):
I am going to protect the onesI love, because to me, that's
what it is to be a man.
To me, it's protecting those wehold dear, protecting our
friends and our family, standingup and being a member of the
community and being willing toprotect your community.

(04:03):
That's what it means to me.
So when you see people arguingand you decide to engage in
those arguments, when you decideto go back and forth with
someone and you're both beingstubborn, two things are
happening there.
A, your mental health is goingto take a hit because there's

(04:26):
going to be a lot of negativityand a lot of vitriol that is
going to be spewed your way.
It happens when nobody else hasfacts anymore.
They go back to just name calllike we're children.
To me, that's not what it is tobe a good man when you start
calling names and just beingmean, just to be mean because

(04:47):
you have no leg to stand on.
It's not good in my eyes.
When somebody is attacking you,you have two options there you
can state your peace and leave,or you can ignore it all
together.
That choice is yours.

(05:10):
Personally, if it comes down towhat I'll make, I'll state my
peace.
I'll state my mind and how Ifeel about things if it was ever
necessary, and then I'm not notgonna argue, because that is
not protecting me and mine.
Online, nobody's going to hurtme.

(05:33):
It's like nobody can hurt you.
And when I think about thingslike that, when I think what it
takes to be a good man, there'sone peace and this is what's
gonna lead into the next topicbecause there is one peace
that's missing and that'svulnerability.

(05:54):
Now, this goes for everybody,but ideally for the topic of
this show, for men and what itmeans to be a good man,
vulnerability is very important.
One of the things that westruggle with as men is to hide
our emotions, to never showvulnerability, never show

(06:14):
weakness.
You have to be strong, you haveto carry on, you have to do all
these things, and I get it.
But there is always a time andplace for vulnerability, whether
that's with your guy friends,who you know we're gonna cheer
you up by making fun of you, butyou're still going to
understand and everybodyunderstands where you're coming

(06:36):
from or if you trust your spouseenough to be vulnerable with
her or with him.
You see, that's what'simportant, that ability to be
vulnerable.
Because when you can't bevulnerable, when you're holding
everything in all the time, whenyou think you're just being

(06:57):
strong and you're being tough,no, no, no, no you're being weak
.
And again, this is just myopinion on the matter.
I am no expert by any means.
I just know what I have seenand what I have lived through.
Not showing vulnerability willlead you down a dark road,

(07:23):
because when you feel like youhave no one you can open up to,
when you don't actually open up,when those things eat at you,
that is when man or woman a lotmore issues arise, that's when
you have breakdowns, that's whenyour anger flares up, that's
when you get filled with rage,that is when you become
depressed, that is when youbecome anxious.

(07:45):
That is when you become havepanic attacks, and it is all
because you refuse to ever bevulnerable.
And there's nothing wrong withbeing vulnerable in the right
circumstances.
Now, why is this important tobeing a good man?

(08:06):
Is because, as a good man, youhave to be able to provide and
protect for your family and yourcommunity.
But if, mentally you were notthere, mentally you have been
ground down so much that you nolonger have the will or the
capability to provide andprotect because you have never
taken it upon yourself to bevulnerable or felt like you

(08:29):
cannot be vulnerable, then nowwe have bigger issues.
Now is when things reallyescalate and it becomes harder
to do much of anything.
So understand this being a man,being vulnerable, being able to

(08:55):
show emotion, being able to dothese things all go hand in hand
.
But all things have a time anda place and specific people that
you should be able to expressyourself to.
It is not weakness to bevulnerable.
It is not weakness to hold yourstance on what it is to be a

(09:20):
good man for you.
What does show weakness isbeing ignorant, lacking
knowledge, purposefully beingmean, purposefully those things,

(09:41):
those things are uncalled for.
Those things don't make you agood man.
Those things don't showvulnerability.
That is you trying to breaksomebody else because you are
too ignorant, you have not donethe research to be able to argue
your point and so you deflect,so you become rude, so you go to

(10:07):
name calling and become a child.
Now I get it.
Walk with me is normally foreverybody and I got to be honest
, a lot of this can work foranybody.
However, the stigma aroundmen's mental health, the issues

(10:32):
that the men I have talked tohave come forward with,
including going back a fewepisodes when I had a round
table of men on for men's mentalhealth awareness month these
are things I don't want to quittalking about.
These are issues I don't wantto stop talking about.
So, man or woman, my advicewill be there for you to

(10:55):
understand and for you tohopefully grow from.
Hopefully it helps you maybeyour husband, maybe a brother,
anybody but understand thatmen's mental health is an issue
that is not gonna go awaybecause in a lot of men's eyes,

(11:18):
they are not allowed to open upbecause, it is weak because it
shows that they are incapable ofprotecting and providing At
least, that's what the stigmasays.
So I want you to understand allthis and I want you to know that
, no matter what happens, themen in your life will protect

(11:42):
and provide for you the real men, the good men, because that is
what we do.
No, otherwise.
This has been Walk With Me, acyber warrior studio's
production.
As always, I'm your host, theCyber Warrior, and if you take a
look down below in thedescription on YouTube, check

(12:02):
out the show notes, you can findall the ways to support this
show and support this channel toallow me to continue making
content for you.
You can rate this on Good Podsor any podcast out there.
You can like and subscribe ifyou're on YouTube, but I want
you to take these words to heartTruly do Help people out, be

(12:26):
good to each other and,ultimately, the more we love
each other, the more we showkindness, the more we quit
making people think that they'renot a lot of be vulnerable, the
better off we'll be.
I love you all.
You're all my warriors, you'reall my family, and I'll see you
next time acht.