Unveiling Men's Hidden Struggles: A Mental Health Awakening Ep. 2

There's a silent epidemic sweeping across the globe - the erosion of men's mental health. We're lifting the veil on this issue by sharing personal anecdotes, raw experiences, and challenges faced by men, including ourselves, in the battle with mental health. From grappling with functional alcoholism, dealing with generational trauma, to overcoming suicidal thoughts, our conversation is powerful, poignant, and above all, real.

There's a stark truth we often overlook - having a purpose in life can be a salvation. We’re sharing our own journey of dealing with self-worth, our fears of mortality, and how these struggles have shaped us. Our guests, who have been on the frontline, working with suicide prevention hotlines, and helping rehabilitate those in the prison system, shed light on the importance of dismantling the "tough guy" facade and forging genuine human connections.

As we conclude our conversation, we emphasize the need for perseverance and the power of self-help. We delve into the impact suicide has on those left behind and the importance of cherishing life rather than merely surviving it. At the heart of our discussion, we're celebrating the strength within us all - the strength of community, of family, and the unshakeable belief that no one is alone in their battle. Join us in this heartfelt conversation, and let's change the narrative around men's mental health, together.

Anonymous AMA:
Ask me any questions you would like answered in future episodes to help you with your struggles in life or career.
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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Passion, drive, persistence, resilience, love
all qualities that shape anddefine us.
Join the Cyber Warrior as hehelps shape your path.
This is Walk With Me.

Speaker 2 (00:27):
Welcome back to Walk With Me at Cyber Warrior Studios
Production.
I'm your host on this journeyto Cyber Warrior Now.
last week, we began ourdiscussion of men's mental
health and a round table.
You've heard some stories, butyou haven't heard them all.
We continue that talk this weekNow.

(00:48):
I apologize for the length, butthis is a talk and a topic that
I did not want to cut short Assuch.
please brace yourselves, as thestories you hear are real, the
troubles we have faced are real,and the ways we deal with them
and the things that we have doneto deal with them are extremely

(01:08):
real.
Let me make this a trigger,warning that, yes, there is talk
of suicide.

Speaker 1 (01:15):
There is talk of the pains and the things that we
have done to deal with theseissues.
There will also be someexplicit language.

Speaker 2 (01:26):
David, thanks for coming back.
I know you've been having a lotof issues, but please give me
your feedback on the importanceof mental health, what you've
been dealing with or how we canpush this forward.
Some of the issues you've seenjust in what you've dealt with.
I know you were talking aboutbeing a Marine and didn't get to
finish that conversation.
If we could finish that, that'dbe great.

Speaker 3 (01:47):
Yeah, what I was going to say about that is I
didn't.
I know there's a lot of guysout there that saw a whole lot
more than I did.
I did my two tours in Iraq.
I spent a year in Afghanistanas a contractor.
I saw a little bit of action.
I didn't see I'm not going topretend like I'm a bronze star,
metal honor winner level ofcombat action.

(02:09):
What I have seen is I've lost alot of my young guys after we
came back.
It's not my generation, it'snot the 50-year-olds.
Yeah, we've got a lot of guysthat have drank themselves out
of this world and stuff likethat, but the guys that are
actually committing suicide,it's the younger generations of

(02:35):
the military.
I don't know if it's because Iknow there's not a lot of it's
getting better.
The help is It's been a longtime.
Any of us that have ever dealtwith the VA, we know what kind
of nightmare that can be.
Guys that get out.
They get out with no benefits.

(02:56):
They take on the tough guy.
Well, i don't need to go tomedical, i don't need to get a
profile, i don't need to getthis checked out, that checked
out, and they don't do anydisability work and then they
don't get anything.
They don't get any compensationfrom the VA, and then they're
out and they're trying to dealwith this stuff and they don't
have the money to do it.

(03:16):
They don't have the resourcesto do it.
I know a lot of guys that havebeen out 8, 9, 10 years now that
are going back and trying toredo that VA stuff and it's
virtually impossible For mypersonal view.
I grew up in one of those houseswhere if you cried it was a
guilt trip.
I'll give you something to cryabout.

(03:38):
You didn't show emotion andtalking to my oldest while they
were in college, we startedtalking about generational
trauma, without even realizing Iwas pushing that kind of
mentality onto my kids.
I'll give you something to cryabout.

(03:58):
You know, toughen up, be a man,especially with my sons.
It took a lot for me to realize, almost too late, that I was
pushing that same type ofmentality onto my kids.
Fortunately, i've grown a lot.

(04:22):
As I've gotten older I'verealized a lot of things that
I'm doing wrong.
But I know talking about wivesI know Savage talked about his
girlfriend, liam's wife.
When I'm off, my wife instantlyknows it.
We've been married 28 years andI have a bad habit of.

(04:45):
I bury everything deep downinside my gut and I explode it
once like rooster.
My addiction is rage.
As a young Marine, as any of us,i think that we're in the
military.
We all pretty much joined themilitary, became functional
alcoholics straight off the batbecause, especially coming into

(05:06):
the 90s, you were either abarracks rat you hung out in the
barracks all the time anddidn't do anything, or you drank
away every paycheck, livingpaycheck to paycheck, because
you were out looking for womenand booze.
I turned into that functionalalcoholic and what finally
snapped me out of it is we'dgotten into a bar fight one
night in California and I wasblown out of my shoes.

(05:28):
I get back to my apartment andmy wife is trying to help me and
she grabs me by the shouldersand in my mind I'm back in that
bar fight.
I had her pinned against thewall and I was getting ready to
put my hands on her and Ifinally snapped out of it.
And for me, that's where Istopped with the alcohol Right
now.
These days, if I buy a six packof beer, it'll sit in the

(05:51):
refrigerator for two or threemonths.
I'll have one while I'mgrilling, and I have an
addictive personality, likeother people have talked about.
So I was recently at aconvention for my job at a
casino of all damn places, and Ispecifically stayed out of the
casino part because I know if Istarted throwing money into a

(06:11):
slot machine or something Iwasn't going to stop.
But it's hard, i know.
Savage, you talked about losingyour mom and four years ago I
lost my mom to cancer and it wasthe same thing.
My mom was my rock.
I lost my dad at seven yearsold.
I really didn't know him.
My stepdad was don't get mewrong we had food on the table,

(06:33):
we had shirts on our back.
We grew up on a farm.
We didn't want for anything but, like I was mentioning before,
we lost power was my sister andI.
We were the red literally theredheaded stepchildren, except
I've got a luscious locks ofdarkest gray hair right now.

(06:55):
But you know we didn't do it,me and my sister.
We never did anything right andmy stepbrothers never did
anything wrong.
You know I didn't take the samepath as them.
I was a musician and band andit was like my stepdad never
showed up to that stuff, nevermissed a basketball game for my

(07:16):
stepbrothers And I developed alot of anger about that.
And, going back to what Roostersaid, that rage, that anger,
that was my addiction.
I fight daily to not fly offthe handle over little things.
Now I came in a little bit agoand then lost my power again.

(07:38):
I didn't catch who was talkingabout medication, but I'm
telling you, probably the bestthing that happened was my pain
management doctor for some of myback injuries put me on a
medication for pain managementbut it has a side effect for
anxiety and that's helped me outa lot because I had a lot of
medical anxiety after losing mymom.

(07:59):
Every little bump, every littlebruise, every little cough,
that wasn't normal.
Oh God, i'm dying of cancerbecause my mom went fast And
it's.
I'm not saying I'm ahyper-contract at that level,
but I do have a lot of medicalanxiety if I'm watching my mom
go like that and I work in a jobfield where we deal with death

(08:22):
on a very regular basis.
So for me it's to be honestwith you finding this group, all
you guys, the Pagan Project,some of the Discord servers were
in Tearson Hall, it's it'sfinding this has helped me a lot
.
Participate in the Lee.
I'm asking me if I want to bepart of the Pagan Project.

(08:43):
That was just awesome for mebecause it gives me something to
focus on.
It's we're doing something forpeople, we're giving back and
and it makes you feel good.
I mean I'm.
If I had the money to do it,i'd give a, i'd do it and give
away every month, every week.
But it's finding everybody andfinding people willing to talk.

(09:05):
I know Magnus was a is aveteran cyber.
I know you're a veteran Rooster.
I don't know if you guys Savageyou guys, i don't know if any
of you guys were in the military, but it's finding other
veterans of that different agegroup that's willing to talk.
Because that's the otherproblem we have is we're usually
not willing to talk.
We might talk to each other insmall groups but on.

(09:28):
But on the big picture veterans, we usually won't talk about
our problems, even if it's notmilitary related.

Speaker 2 (09:38):
I know, i know, i know Liam got something to say,
so I want to let Liam go, andthen we'll let Magnus talk.

Speaker 4 (09:44):
I don't have a whole lot.
I just want to add in the remixsaying by everybody in here,
being a vet I'm not one, I was afucking dependent for a little
while, just so you guys areclear on that.
Okay, so mad respect to youguys and the shit you got to
deal with.
I don't know what it's like onthe first hand, dude, i was just
, you know, the military wife.

Speaker 5 (09:59):
I'm not military either, but I am a veteran
veteran of the streets, homie.

Speaker 3 (10:07):
You probably saw him in combat in the streets than I
did in Iraq.

Speaker 2 (10:11):
I was in for weight homie.
I will never take away what mybrothers and sisters have been
through.
They've been through a hell ofa lot worse than I ever will be
or have seen.
I can't.
There's people that aren't evenin the military that have seen
more things than I have seen inmy life.
I just talked to someone theother day that I can't even

(10:33):
fathom what he just had to dothe other day.
So that's a conversation for awhole.
Nother time.
It's not my story to tell, butit's bad And so things that I've
seen and heard of.
I can't fathom how some peopledeal with it.
But this is.
This is why this is soimportant to me and why I want
to push just beyond just a monthand beyond just this episode

(10:57):
and everything else is becauseif you feel you have no one to
talk to, if you feel you havenowhere to go to, that is why we
have the issues we have.

Speaker 3 (11:07):
Yeah, but even for Liam.
I hear that a lot out ofdependents.
I was only a dependent, but Idon't think our families realize
and we're not good at tellingthem, we're not good at telling
them at all from the veterancommunity.
The families at home don'trealize how much they actually
mean to us and our service, andI mean there for a long time.

(11:31):
my wife is used to me beinggone longer than I was home and
you know what equated to a yearin Iraq, a six month training up
here, two months there, fourmonths there.
I mean hell.
to this day I don't know wherethe checkbook is, because that's
the type of stuff that my wifehandled.
She handled everything.

(11:51):
She handled three kids.
when I went to Iraq We had twoin diapers and our oldest was in
elementary school.
That's my first deployment, soso I leave them all, i hope
every the military families.
I hope they understand howimportant they are to us for

(12:12):
deployed, because if you'reworrying about stuff going on at
home, you're worried about thebills not getting paid or you're
the one that has to take careof everything.
that takes a huge chunk ofstress out of your life.
And I've dealt with the youngguys that got married, you know,
and Magnus Cyber, you guys thatwere in the Army and the Air

(12:34):
Force.
I know it's the same story.
The only thing that changes isthe names of the places that
that young E1 that shows up andfinances a 1975 Mustang at 17%
interest and marries a stripperbecause she loves him.

Speaker 2 (12:49):
It's probably 28% interest these days You're not
wrong.

Speaker 3 (12:55):
And then when you're deployed they get the Dear John
letter or they get the video orthey get the buddy telling them
Hey man, there's like a you know, somebody set up a barbershop
ticket thing outside your frontdoor and dudes are running
through it like it's nothing.
And for those of us that neverhad to deal with that knew we

(13:16):
had a stable house at home.
That meant a lot And it took alot of that mental health off.
And even now I said my in.
What's really helped my wife tois finding this group,
especially the women in ourcommunity, the strong women out

(13:36):
there like White Wolf and andKara and all them that are
helping my wife because she'sreally new to this path And I'm
not been on it that long.
But I've seen a big change inmy wife to where she just
doesn't put up with my bullshitanymore And I'm going to blame.
I'm going to blame Amanda andKara and all them for that.
But Rooster, it's alwaysRooster's fault.

(14:01):
Rooster's fault, But yeah it'sjust I can say I'm like you,
Cyber, where I've been lucky inmy support system.
I've never there's been a fewreally dark times where I've
said on the corner of the bedand the pistol was arms reach
away And I thought that maybethe world might be better

(14:23):
without me in it.
And then my self preservationmode, my I love me kicked in And
I think back to the people thatI've actually lost to, to
suicide and everything else.
And it's like we just recentlyhad one of our employees at the

(14:43):
fire department.
She committed suicide.
She was the fire department mom.
She was like Robin Williams.
She walked in, she was alwayshappy, She lit up the room, She
had a smile on her face.
If you didn't hear from her, ifshe didn't hear from you for a
day, you were getting a nastytext message, team's message or
phone call wanting to knowwhat's going on.

(15:05):
And me and one of the otherdeputy fire marshals had lunch
with her on a Wednesday andFriday.
She killed herself And we haveracked our brains since that day
trying to figure out did wemiss something?
Did she say something?
Was she acting different?
And to this day there's nothingwe could think of, But it's.

(15:27):
I don't know if it helpsanybody, if it helps any men
that are sitting around thinkingabout doing it, But we're not
hurting ourselves.
We're gone, We're dead.
It's the people we leave behindwith unanswered questions and
kids that will never see dadanymore And and.

Speaker 2 (15:53):
Ruse, sir, I know you want to say something.

Speaker 6 (15:56):
You know, i covered this in my first video about the
clown in the room.
Remus, don't beat yourself upabout it, buddy, you're never
going to know.
See, that's the thing about theclown.
We have become such a debtmasters at masking our pain.

(16:22):
You will never know when aclown is hurting, because our
sole goal is to make you smile.
So when you finally get to thatpoint, to where we're done,
there's no warning, there's nonothing.
We just out, yeah.

Speaker 5 (16:42):
And that's exactly.

Speaker 6 (16:43):
I have attempted suicide more times than I can
count, like I literally lostcount.
The first and the last time Iattended both was by firearm,
both times around it anddetonate And I can guarantee you
I can go grab my sidearm rightnow, pull the trigger.
It goes off.
But for some reason those twotimes it never went off.

Speaker 2 (17:03):
Man, you will have a discussion about that one later.
Rooster, We can talk about thewhy.

Speaker 6 (17:08):
We can.
Actually, i'm going to behonest with you because I am the
clown right And most of theseguys who have sat with VC with
me.
No, i'm the clown.
I will post, i will make jokes.
Some of them there's justassomnily stupid, but the goal
is to make you smile, but insideI am dying.
I am literally pulling myselfapart.

(17:29):
As a matter of fact, one night Iwas in VC with Cyber, with Liam
, and I believe it was Rain andValkyrie that was in there with
us Cutting up, having a goodtime.
Do you know?
I walked in the house after Igot off that VC, ate a half a
bottle of sleeping pills and,laid down, had every intention

(17:51):
of never waking back up again.
No intention, you know what?
My wife never even knew For thetime.
No, didn't care.
I tried to kill myself fourtimes.
Each time, each time, each time, when I told these guys
goodnight.
That was going to be my lasttime telling them goodnight.
I had every intention of endingit.

(18:12):
I've been there.
I know what it's like to be theclown and not give anybody any
kind of idea of hey, was hehurting?
Was he in danger?
There is no warning, buddy.
Don't rack your brain about it,because you'll never find an
answer And all you're doing ishurting yourself even more by
stressing you What did I miss?

(18:35):
You didn't miss anything, bud.
We're just really good at lyingto your face and saying I'm all
right.
It's not you, bud, so don'track yourself with it.
There's nothing you're going tofind.

Speaker 3 (18:48):
And unfortunately I'm smart enough.
My logical brain knows that Isaid I've lost.
I've put more young Marines inthe ground stateside.
I was fortunate I didn't loseanybody and either one of my
deployments Now my seconddeployment.
I mean we were pretty much fobAnd so we didn't leave the fob.

Speaker 6 (19:12):
But Remus, you're North Carolina bound, right?
Yeah, so you know, i know whatyou're.
I know what you're goingthrough whenever people talk
about.
You know the loss andeverything from military.
I was United States Army.
I was an 88 Mike.
You know that used to be, idon't speak.

(19:33):
I was a truck driver, i was adouble clutching gear shift and
son of a bitch, as top used toput it.
But you know, my first tech, myfirst tick talk name was
screaming 88.
But a tick talker who is nowmore than famous accused me of
being a new see.
So I actually left tick topbecause of it without any

(19:57):
information on me, just becausemy my tick talk handle was
screaming 88.

Speaker 2 (20:05):
Well, I didn't ask me .

Speaker 6 (20:07):
And so you know been there Yeah.

Speaker 2 (20:11):
And so here's the thing You're not wrong, rooster,
and this is why I mean you.
This is why I love when youcome at me with videos on tick
talk and you give your opinion,your feedback, on the exact same
thing, only put a differenttwist on it, because I think we
need that, because, again,different perspectives, you see
things from a different angleand it helps different people
And, as the thing is, we're notgoing to reach all the same

(20:34):
people and not everybody thinksthe same way.
I'm saying that, magnus.
I had to turn Magnus's mic downa little bit because he was
really loud, so hopefully hedoesn't come in as loud as.

Speaker 6 (20:45):
I was on his head.
He speaks from the diaphragm.

Speaker 2 (20:51):
Talk to us, my buddy, my brother, about.
So as far as mental health goes, men's mental health more
specifically, you know there's alot of issues we see.
I know you know, even knowingyou in seeing where you came
from and where you're at now,have dealt with a lot.
You know kind of some of theissues we face that people don't

(21:13):
see and then how you deal,different coping mechanism,
different ways.
We can help each other.
You know advice, you can giveanything.

Speaker 7 (21:23):
Okay, so I mean Rooster.
whatever he said, the clownsare the best at hiding it 100%
Like.
I couldn't have said it anybetter, but I have like,
whenever I first got out thefirst year wasn't that bad

(21:45):
because I was still unwinding,but uh, but like, personally,
i've sat there with a gun in myhand just contemplating it and
just being like, is it worth it?
Like what am I supposed to doanymore?
Like I don't have a purpose orI don't have a direction to go
in, and that that itself, thewhole direction, is hard

(22:14):
whenever you get out, because Imean being in, i mean regardless
of even if you were in, likebeing a civilian.
Like men are completelydifferent from women whenever it
comes to, like mental healthshit.
They want to be, not want to be.

(22:34):
They need to be, like reassuredand validated and whatnot.
I've talked to my therapist,i've talked to plenty of
therapists.
Like men aren't the same way.
You give us a direction, yougive us a cause, you give us
something to do and it's done.
It's easier, like we just shutup and do it.

(22:57):
You give us a purpose and we goafter it And like I've I spent
a few years in the army.
I went here and there.
I don't know how much I'mallowed to tell.
That's always that thin line,isn't?

Speaker 5 (23:17):
it Yeah.

Speaker 7 (23:18):
That's always an interesting one because you feel
like a jackass saying it, butyou still know.
Okay, here I've been toAfghanistan twice and Africa
once, and like.
I've, i've, i've had phone callsfrom friends who were like

(23:39):
sitting there with guns, wantingto to finish it, just wanted to
check out.
And Primus said it earlier likeyou don't just stop the pain,
like it just doesn't stop, youjust hand it off to somebody
else.
And that's one thing I tell myguys all the time whenever they

(24:03):
call.
It's exhausting.
But I tell my guys all the timecall me, i don't care what time
it is, i don't care what day itis, let me know.
Like I will sit there and talkto you for hours And I don't

(24:24):
know where I was going with this.
But I mean, i'm just, i'm justtalking now.

Speaker 2 (24:30):
But it's true, it's one of those things where it
sounds cliche, right, becauseunless you've been there you
don't know what goes through themind at that time.
Yeah, and so to sit there andsay, oh well, let's see What is
it, it's a permanent solution toa temporary problem.
It's not.

(24:50):
You know, you're leaving thepain and somebody else is taking
on.
You can give all these things,but at that point in time and
let's be honest, at that pointin time that's not what you're
thinking about.
Yeah, you care about.
What you're thinking about isthat you're done, you're
exhausted, you're mentallydrained, you're emotionally
drained, you're physically spent, you just have no urge.
So it takes that phone call, ittakes somebody stepping in and

(25:14):
proving and showing that youhave a purpose, you have a
reason, because I will stillstand by this.
Men need a purpose.
They need a reason.
I think most people do, butmore specifically men because of
genetically, historically andeverything else.
Without that purpose, it makesit very difficult to continue,

(25:38):
because then you just sit thereand you're going through the
motions, kind of like we'retalking to dysfunctional earlier
.
I think that kind of lends tothat mindset of autonomy and
just going through the motionsis what's your purpose anymore.
What are you doing?
What are you providing?
What is the reason to do whatyou're doing?
And if you don't feel that, itmakes it very difficult.

(26:01):
However, and I think that lendsto it.

Speaker 6 (26:04):
However, cyber, like I said, my video response to you
, buddy, you have to rememberthere are those of us who we
didn't choose the darkness, thedarkness chose us.
I've spent my entire lifeensuring that my non-existence

(26:25):
did not in any way shape or formphase anyone else.

Speaker 2 (26:33):
Well, I screwed on that one, because now it would.

Speaker 6 (26:35):
My kids are set to where they will not feel any
kind of like upset from it.
They are completely, 100%self-sufficient.
To the point where all of mykids now say they hate me And
that's fine, i want them to hateme.
If they hate me, then there'sno loss.
There's no feel of hurt, pain,misery, nothing.
My kids hate me, that's fine byme.

(26:57):
That was their choice.
They chose that path.
I allowed them to choose thatpath.
Do I agree with it?
No, but they chose it.
It's their life.
So the dozens of times I havetried to 86 myself, the

(27:18):
reasoning in my head wasn't amatter of just being done.
It was I've gotten socomfortable with it, the
darkness, and made the darknessso much my friend that I'm just
at peace with it.

(27:38):
So the thought of the absenceof any light doesn't bother me
anymore.
So the reason why I've alwaysdone the jobs that I do, all my
jobs that I've ever taken, werejobs where you have their high
risk, you have a good chance ofgone.
Whether it was the army taking88 mic position, dude, y'all

(28:03):
know as well as I do What wasthe most targeted damn units
during the war.
Oh boy, there was a reason Ichose that.
I had no intention of cominghome, none.
And then I got medical whichturned into a psych, and then I
got yeeted out the front doorlike yesterday's garbage which

(28:27):
still hurts, by the way, becauseI come from a legacy military
family.
We have fought and died inevery major conflict since the
inception of the country, sounderstand that not everybody's
perception of what the end willlook like or what will be left

(28:49):
behind is the same, and I thinkthat's the reason why I've tried
to start gearing my pagetowards men's mental health.
It's because you can't get medarker than where I live in my
existence.
You can't, it's impossible.
So if I can help one person,one person not live in the same

(29:12):
world I live in, then my life'sbeen a success.
I am OK.

Speaker 2 (29:21):
Savage, you got something to say, brother, Yeah.

Speaker 5 (29:24):
So I got two things I want to say.
So recently there was thisstudy that was long.
So there was these people thathad these brain injuries And
what it did was it affected somearea of the pituitary gland in
the blood process and the waythat things process.
That they actually had no fear.
So anything that we had, thatyou have like a natural fear of

(29:49):
spiders, heights, fire, burningyourself, things like that these
people just buy because ofthese injuries.
They didn't have that.
So scientists wanted to see isthere a universal fear?
Is there a universal fear?
Is there something that is not?
So they did this experimentwhere they overloaded their

(30:11):
systems with carbon dioxide Andwhat ends up happening is when
you overload the system withcarbon dioxide, your brain
automatically thinks that you'reshutting down and you're dying.
And the only thing thataffected these people and they
put these people through, theythrew them in pits of snakes.
They like spiders everywhere,every fear known to man, clowns,

(30:33):
whatever And there was noresponse.
It was only until they felttheir neural system shutting
down and they were going to diethat these people actually fell
to you.
So there's this innate humanfear of death, and I know that
there was times where Idefinitely did not want to live,

(30:54):
but I'm too much of a bitch toask the bulletron.
So I did everything I possiblycould to take myself out in
other ways, whether that wasloading my body up with the
amount of drugs that could dropfive fucking elephants in Sri
Lanka but still kept going.
Or if it was just dangerous asdoing wheelies at 130 on the 995

(31:20):
through New York trying tohopefully my bike will dump.
But always at the last secondwhen these things come, i know
personally myself.
There's always this last fight,there's this last fucking gas
for it And it's like fuck, ireally do want to live.
And we were talking aboutpurpose And we were talking
about you guys were talkingabout purpose And we were

(31:40):
talking about a man's reason forbeing So.
For a very long time in my 20sand my 30s, my purpose was that
of a father.
I was a son, i was the coach onmy kid's CYL basketball team, i

(32:02):
was a chef.
I was well respected in mycommunity And after my accident
a lot of these things went awayAnd what ended up happening to
me with that was that I feltlike I had lost my purpose.
I had these titles that I had.
I put so much fucking value onthem that when they were taken

(32:23):
from me because my kids don'tspeak to me either because of
those things that I did in myaddiction, and when they didn't
want to talk to me and mydaughters I had them at least on
the phone that they were happywithout me in their life.
That was a point where mypurpose was God And I didn't
want to be there anymore.
I don't want to be here anymore, but through the work that I've

(32:44):
done and the things that I'vedone, working on myself, i had
to realize that my purpose Ihave to have a purpose for me
And I can't look at otherpeople's outside validation of
who I am in order to give valueto the person that I am.
And I've realized that if Igive value to the person that I

(33:04):
am and I love myself,miraculously, outside forces put
more value on me and put morelove towards me.
Once I realized that, like youknow, once I realized that, like
and I stood up, and you know, ilooked up in the sky, in the
middle of the country, and Ilooked at all those stars and

(33:26):
realized each one of them is afucking sun when planets are
wobbling around them And I amnothing in this fucking universe
except a small little cog.
But then I realized that thatlittle cog is what is me, the
world go round and which waymakes the realms maneuver.
So once I realized that thatlittle cog and that's my part,
like I started just playing mypart and not trying to be on a

(33:48):
grander scale or a lesser scale,that's when I really started
having peace and a lot ofbreakthroughs with my mental
health.
You know like it's.
You know like I always say thislike you don't never see
fucking Derek Jeter.
You never saw Derek Jetercovering right field.
He was a shortstop.
He played his position.

(34:09):
He played his position verywell And because of that he was
on extremely successful teamThat gave him a greater purpose.
So as long as I play myposition in this world, i get
myself feeling like I havepurpose.

Speaker 6 (34:25):
Yeah, that's a little show and tell real quick.
I don't know if the camera'sgonna pick it up.
That's it.
That's the last magic one,that's the one that didn't
detonate.
Now I can assure you, justassure, the day is long and my
jump wakes up 30 minutes beforeI do.
I can load chamber anddischarge this weapon.

(34:48):
Now do I know what my purposeis?
Absolutely not.
Can't say not for me to sayHave the gods revealed it to me
yet?
No, no, they haven't.
Are they going to?
Probably not.
Why?
Because our gods are dicks.
Why I love them?
They are.

(35:10):
But you know, valkyrie asked meone night, you know, why do I
hold on to them?
Why do I hold on to those twobullets?
And the answer is simple It's aconstant reminder.
It's a constant reminder of howbig of a failure I am.
I have literally failed ateverything I've ever done in my

(35:31):
life, including trying to endthat shit.
I hate it And everybody's likewell, aren't you worried about
being a failure?
No, because once you hit thatlevel of failure where you can't
even off your fucking self,like, come on, i have tried
hanging, i have tried pills, ihave tried suffocation.

(35:51):
Like I shut my respiratorsystem off while in a tank
welding, who the fuck knows that?
I mean, come on, like you wantto talk about carbon dioxide
inhalation, try having yourlungs filled with argon, you
essentially suffocate yourself.

Speaker 5 (36:11):
Oh God, fuck myself.

Speaker 6 (36:13):
What's that.

Speaker 5 (36:14):
What's that?
What's that.

Speaker 6 (36:16):
And that's the point.
I have literally triedeverything and I can't get it
right.
So am I getting like right?
No, my life is a fucking shitshow.
I'm homeless, right, i'm barelypaying my fucking car note, my
insurance note.
I'm struggling, trying to gettogether this freaking giveaway,

(36:38):
which is probably gonna be amultipartner, with all the shit
that I'm putting together.
But it is what it is.
It's like.
You know, my life is nothingbut darkness and struggle.
But, like I said, if I canprevent one man, one for me to
get close to what I've had todeal with whether it's the DV

(36:59):
survival stuff, whether it's theSA survival stuff, whether it's
the attempt to suicide anythingI'm gonna do it, even if it
puts me further in debt, even ifit puts me further away from my
goal.

Speaker 5 (37:16):
Can I give you a suggestion?
Sure, All right.
So there's a thing calledaltruism, right, You know what
that word means.
I mean it's to give without anyexpectation of receiving, It's
just to give to the purpose ofgiving.
So now, from what I'm hearing,like financial, you're not

(37:37):
really in a position to giveaway material objects, Like I'm
not either, you know at all.
So like I try and do what I canby like what I'm good at.
I'm good at making content, I'mgood at bringing attention to
things.
So, like you know, I try withthe Pagan project to bring as
much attention to it as Ipossibly can right Now.
I could bring more even.

(37:58):
But here's the thing that Ithink since you've tried so many
times and you failed, and youknow if you can be successful at
helping one person through it,why not volunteer your time to a
suicide hotline?
Why not go, like, two hours aweek where your cell phone is
active, through one of thesedatabases where somebody calls

(38:21):
the National Suicide Hotline andyou're on the other end of it?

Speaker 6 (38:25):
I did actually believe it or not.
When I was still living inNorth Carolina I was doing and
you know I caught a lot of heatfrom a lot of people for this
next part I actually had anoutreach program dealing with
the AFA and the KKK.
My outreach program wasdirected towards reeducation and

(38:46):
rehabilitation, specifically inthe prison system, because
there's a lot of stuff aboutthat that not a lot of people
realized.
A lot of that stuff is theydon't have a choice.
They're kind of back in thecorner, right, so they have to
choose the lesser of the evilsin order to survive that
situation.
But when they come out theykeep it going because they're

(39:08):
still in a constipated survivalmode.
So what I did is I kept my.
I actually worked with asuicide prevention hotline at
the same time while working with, you know, helping people
understand that, especiallythose who worked within the AFA
portion of the prison system, tokind of keep them on the

(39:33):
straight and narrow.
It got to the point where withthe suicide hotline that I
actually felt like I wasn'tmaking enough of a difference
And it sent me into a downwardspiral.
One night And I drank a wholebunch of liquor, ate a whole

(39:56):
bunch of pills And you know Ididn't call nobody What about to
?
So it was one of those types ofthings where I felt guilty
because I felt like I wasn'tmaking enough of a difference.
Even though I was working thosehotlines as hard and as hard as
I could, i still felt like Iwasn't making a big enough dip.

(40:17):
And one night I just hit a downspiral and it went belly up.

Speaker 5 (40:28):
So, I have tried it but you know what that was, that
that down with spiral.
Talked about it early.
That was the.

Speaker 6 (40:35):
Survivors remorse.

Speaker 5 (40:37):
No, that was ego.
That was you judging yourselfthat you weren't doing enough.
I'm putting an insane amount ofpressure trying to save the
world.
You're gonna put a cape on play, captain.
Save a hoe.
You know what I mean.
Like you got a freaking, youknow.

Speaker 2 (41:04):
No, because I do.
I've done the same thing tomyself.
It took me a long while, evenwith what I do, because of
motivation, because ofeverything I've been putting out
and everything I do.
I mean, you have talked aboutit even the numbers we pull you
see me pull it Which is a littleto nothing compared to a lot of
other people out there, comesout of ego.
I should be doing more.

(41:24):
This should mean something getsmatter to people which do this.
I should be able to save more.
I should be able to hear more,and we don't hear that.
Again, your ego tells you Ishould be able to do more, i'm
able to do this, i can do allthis, but I'm not.
So then it sends you while am Idoing the right thing?
is this?
Why am I not doing?
does it matter?

(41:45):
Does anything I do matter?
Is it all matter?
Is it ever matter?
And so you're not wrong.
That's why I've had to changemy mindset to if one person work
with one person Reaches out tome and says what you have said
or done matters, that I am doingthe right thing.

Speaker 6 (42:05):
I just want to pause real quick because I don't think
I've really ever conveyedexactly how much I appreciate
you.
Save my ass.
That night For those of y'alldon't know kind of cyber kind of
bailed me out in a badsituation Me too.
It's been a few months back Andhe kind of really saved my ass.

(42:26):
That was another one of themnights where you know, after not
eating for a few days that thatled to play, was looking really
fucking good.
But I want to say thank youliterally from the bottom of my
heart for bailing my ass out ofthat damn pit.

Speaker 2 (42:45):
But Thanks saying again in this world and We
haven't gone out this for awhile, so I'm gonna edit this
part out that I'm saying rightnow And this world, we deal with
a lot, we go through a lot asmen.

(43:05):
You're not on a show emotionand these days, if you show
emotion is too much emotion Orit's not enough emotion and it
gets confusing until we shutdown and we say screw it, we're
not gonna do any of it.
We're gonna go through, we'regonna protect, we're gonna
provide, we're gonna do what wecan for our families and we're
gonna move on.
We're gonna keep pushing, we'regonna keep doing, we're gonna
keep going.
Not everybody can do that.
Nobody's cut out for that.

(43:26):
Some people actually need anoutlet.
Tiger, who was on here earlier,talked about it.
He goes to the gym.
I have talked about differentoutlets on mine.
Whether it's the gym,meditation, playing video games,
doing hobbies, whatever,building Lego, it does not
matter.
Whatever it is.
For me It's creating content andtrying to reach somebody else,
trying to motivate others,trying to get people to

(43:48):
understand that they belong hereand look, there is a reason for
you being here, whether youwant to admit it or Not.
So by checking out early, youare, then condemning somebody
else because they needed you.
They Needed you.
You may not see it yet, you maynot know it yet, but somebody
needs you that you don't realize.
You were checking out early anduntil somebody else called you

(44:11):
home, wherever that home may be,you're not allowed Because you
were now.
Not only are you taking away Thepossibility for you to help
somebody in Rooster, you said it, you've helped one person,
you've helped two people.
You've helped people.

(44:32):
You may not realize it, but youhave Without you.
Now that's how many people lessWithout you, savage, without
you and your comedy and yourability to give information,
with everything that you do forthis community and for everybody
else.
Look, you've been through somehard times.
You've done things I've neverdone in my life.

(44:53):
You have given purpose topeople, you have given comedy to
people and you have givenpeople a reason to watch you as
often as possible.
Even I pulled you up on YouTubeevery chance I see your
beautiful gray white beard.
I click the button.

Speaker 5 (45:08):
It's white.
I'm so hate.

Speaker 2 (45:13):
Liam, my brother, is one of the reasons we started
the pagan project and one of thereasons that I have been able
to do what I do and give awayWhat I give away and give back
to who I give back to.
Without Liam Savage, i wouldnot know you and probably, until
maybe I don't know a week ortwo ago, when you eventually may

(45:34):
have scored across my FYP, youmay not have got without Liam.
Actually, let's be honest, youdefinitely wouldn't got it
without Liam.
Yeah, absolutely.
Remus down here, who hasbrought comedy and envision and

(45:57):
and life in light to so manypeople What are you seriously
like?
how can you say no to that facein?
we're still working on his newsBroadcasting capabilities.
We're working on it.
We're gonna get there.
We're gonna perfect it.
It's gonna become.
It's gonna become perfect hereshortly, but at the end of the

(46:19):
day, it's providing somethingand everybody.
Hold your territory as safesomeone.

Speaker 4 (46:25):
Yeah.
So at the end of the day, toRichard, to put that in that
show on what Derek was sayingYou're our bitch, we own you.
Hey, cyber, edit this part out.
But yeah, you're oursmotherfucker, and it's been like
this fucking fellowship beforethat.
So, like that's why I wastelling you the other day, dude,

(46:47):
when I was like you matter, andyou're like no, i don't, i was
like motherfucker, yes, you do.
Because like, rather, it'ssomething you see every single
day.
Dude, you're still important tosome people and even if it's
I'm just sitting on a toilettaking a shit And I think about
you.
You still come across myfucking mind, bro, like you're a
part of my life.

Speaker 6 (47:04):
Oh, come across somebody's mom brother, it's not
while you're wiping.

Speaker 4 (47:17):
You're here now, man, and you're fucking here.
So like we've picked the time,guys, some of us It's been years
, some of us it's been.
We got these relationships andwe have these connections and It
might not seem like it, butthey're real.
And when I was, everybody on mycontent too.
These are real humans behindthese fucking screens.
We know this, dude.
So like we still feel for eachother and relate to each other
and think about each other, soyou keep your fucking ass here.

Speaker 2 (47:40):
Otherwise, i don't know, i'm gonna have to beat up
a dead guy and that's probablyfound upon We'll go to, the
Norns will go to somebody willbring his ass back just to do it
, and we all, we all have to bethere for, you know, for the
pagan festival at Williams house.

Speaker 5 (47:55):
Where is that?

Speaker 2 (47:55):
again, i'm when we don't win, but it's next year.

Speaker 4 (47:58):
Yep next year.
We don't know the date, andfuck you if you ask me for the
flag.

Speaker 6 (48:08):
We're playing capture the flag.

Speaker 2 (48:26):
As we're getting into the end.
So this is how they show roles.
And then we're one of thequestion.
And then what We'll do is wecould jump in this core.
We could jump in somebody'slive.
I'll go on the pagan projectand jump on somebody's lab.
I just gonna make sure I don'tsay bad words.
How the show rules is we alwaysgive words of wisdom and some
type of advice at the end.
Unfortunately, everybody elsehas had to drop, whether it's

(48:48):
been tiger or Magnus, who hisphone got way too hot and the
battery died, or evendysfunctional, who's working.
So for the four people here,we're gonna go around the room,
no interruptions, and allow themeach to give words of wisdom,
and at this point I want them tobe about men's mental health.
So I will introduce it and thenwe're gonna go around.
We'll start with savage workaway all the way around the

(49:10):
rooster.
You will be last.
So when we get started, as wecome to the end of this episode,
as we come to another Veryimportant topic, as you all know
, i always end with some wordsof wisdom.
This time It's not gonna comefrom me.

(49:30):
Everybody here has been throughsome things.
Everybody here has dealt withsome things.
They go far beyond a lot of theinformation I can give that I
have not given already.
So, with that being said, weare going to go around and we
are going to allow The gentlemenin this room to give their
words of wisdom, their pieces ofadvice and anything else they

(49:52):
can give before We sign off forthe episode saying that savage,
please go ahead.

Speaker 5 (49:59):
One of the things is, you know, we're coming in the
end of men's mental health monthand this shouldn't just be a
month one thing.
This should be a daily thing.
You know, we, we, we've been,i've been told my whole life and
raise my whole life to justsuck it up and be a man bought.
Like you know, until I gotaround people, i was comfortable

(50:20):
and I could drop that mask andI could be the real person
around Around them that I reallywant to be.
And you know talk about myfears, my desires, my goals and
being not only not left out butencouraged.
So, at the end of the day, mybiggest advice to everyone out
there is to drop your guard andfind your truck.

Speaker 2 (50:44):
Definitely, definitely.
I think that's a big part of it.
That's one of the things that Ithink we have found, savage, i
talked to you as often as I canabout whether it's content or
just how things are going, and Ihope to continue going that
forward and taking it into.
You know, just Building that,that bridge even more and making

(51:04):
it stronger.
Liam, go ahead.

Speaker 4 (51:09):
I'm not anybody to give anybody advice, but if I
could put something out therethat might help Somebody.
It's probably Really it is hardas it sounds and it's kind of a
cliche to is.
We really need to learn how toprioritize ourself, because we
all know how old saying goeslike you can't be like the best
you for other people if you'refucked up.

(51:30):
You know I mean.
A lot of times it's easier forus to just put ourselves on a
back burner to you know, makeour significant other feel
better or, but also not yourtime.
But the problem is thisperpetual we keep doing it and
we keep doing it, and we keepdoing it and it becomes
detrimental to us.
So you have to find that wayYou'll be able to focus on you
in your outlets and things thatare gonna bring you happiness,

(51:51):
even if it's temporary.
You're gonna need somethingperiodically to keep yourself
leveled out and in some way tostay focused on things.
It's where you don't reallyanything.
That's too crazy and Eventhough it's hard, we need to
remind ourselves that we dofucking matter where a person.
There are people that give ashit about us.
Rather we admit it or realizeit or not.
You know it's, it's.
It is all about us, but it'snot all about us.

(52:14):
You know what I mean.
At the same time, put yourselfas a priority.
This way you can take care ofyourself And then you can be
even better for everybody else.
And don't be scared to buildtrust with motherfuckers.
We all know how to.
You know where the food ofarmor like oh, i'm such a badass
And you know I'm not gonna talkabout this and you know
whatever, like I come from thestreet life, i can't from this
or whatever, but I'm tough.

(52:35):
Fuck that shit, dude.
But you don't need that facadeanymore.
You can still be where you'refrom and what you're about, and
still feel famous and experiencethings on human level, because,
at the end of the day, were men, were still humans.
We still feel things andsometimes it's overwhelming, but
we're never alone.
There's always somebody on thisfucking planet seven billion
humans There's somebody that canrelate to your story very

(52:57):
closely.
He's got to try to build thoseconnections and find them so
that we're not alone.
Yeah, just focus on you, buildtrust with people and remember
that you matter.
There's multiple people at anygiven time of the day.

Speaker 2 (53:12):
Yeah, definitely, that is the biggest thing.
Is you matter?
Focus it on your yourself.
We do, we prioritize.
We prioritize everybody else sooften and it's something we
forget about his prioritizingOurselves and our mental health
and being able to buildourselves up and be stronger,
because if you're not good, youcan't project good.

(53:33):
So I'm saying that, david Remus, go ahead, man, wow.

Speaker 3 (53:39):
I think the biggest thing, one thing in our Discord
server everybody knows Redline,or I think you are guys all know
Redline We started noticingthat we were having a lot of
stress among the mod team, theadmin team, because of you know,
if Norris Talk has anything,it's got drama, and so Redline

(54:05):
implemented something.
You know, if you've seen Ted,you know what Thunderbodies are,
so we've got Thunderbodies.
You know, every day we try toat least message somebody, at
least one person hey, how areyou doing today, how's
everything going?
Because what we notice and Ithink this group here,
especially you guys, you knowit's what White Wolf refers to

(54:29):
as the strong ones, the peoplethat are always worried about
somebody else checking onsomebody else.
Well, the strong ones needchecked on too.
So make sure you're checking onthe helpers, the strong ones.
You can take two minutes out ofyour time each day just to give
somebody a random message, sayhey man, how's your day going?

(54:53):
Cyber tagged me in his firstMen's Mental Health video that
he did on TikTok And I was like,wow, that's so cool.
Cyber was thinking about metoday And you know you kind of
got that.
Hey, man, you know somebody Ionly know through social media
cared enough to tag me in thatvideo just so I would see it.

(55:14):
See his message about take careof yourself And, like Savage
and Liambo said, you know we gotto take care of ourselves,
because the most dangerousphrase that ever comes out of a
man or a dad's mouth iseverything's fine, everything's
okay, i'm okay, dad's okaybecause we all know he's not.

(55:35):
And when you do get that phonecall from somebody, just face
the fact that maybe that personjust needs 30, 45 minutes of
just verbal regurgitation.
They just need to vent, theyjust need to talk.
They don't need you to fix them.
They don't need you to fixtheir problem.
They just need somebody that'swilling to listen to them And at

(55:56):
the end of the day, say I hopetomorrow's better and give me a
call if you need me.
So for me, i think that's oneof the biggest things I've
learned dealing with people incrisis situations is he can't.
Not everybody wants to be fixed.
That's not what they're lookingfor.
They just need somebody tolisten and be willing to be that

(56:18):
person that listens.

Speaker 2 (56:20):
Yeah, definitely That is.
That is one of the biggestthings I think us as men have a
problem with, though, is notbeing the fixer.
One of our biggest issues isbecause of who we are, because
of what we want to do.
Is we want to fix everything?
Me and my wife have gone downthat route numerous occasions of
me trying to fix things that Icannot fix.
It is just her trying to ventand she's like shut up, i don't

(56:42):
need you to fix it, i just needyou to listen.
Shut up, listen, okay.
So what do you need me to do?
Not to shut up and listen.
So.
So again, when you are a fixer,when you are someone that does
that and most men are becomesvery difficult to put that on
the back burner, for, yes, weneed to learn to do that.
Not only do we need to learn toopen up and actually vent to

(57:04):
people and get our problems outthere.
If it's for no other reason,just to yell, scream and vent,
we need to learn to shut thehell up, listen and just be a
shoulder, nothing more.
Don't come up with solutions,don't try to fix it, literally
just listen.
Let someone know you were therefor them, give them a hug,
maybe a pat on the ass and saygood game and be done with it

(57:28):
And that's it.
That's all they need.
We just need to know when thatis and when things need to fix.
Rooster Last on the list,brother.
Go ahead, man.

Speaker 6 (57:41):
Oh, what's the best way to do this?
Well, let's do it the way Iwould if I was making a tech
talk, how y'all Rooster here.
So let's talk about it.
We all face our respectivedemons, monsters, darkness,

(58:03):
whatever you want to call it.
We can't continuously say I'mokay.
I know that's our default.
Hell.
That's generally just whatwe're going to tell anybody is
I'm okay.
But it's already been said And,as I've said in one of my

(58:28):
previous videos, if your manlooks at you and says I'm okay
or I'm all right or hell, i'llfigure it out, chances are 99%
of the time they're lyingstraight to your damn face.
It's a cold, hard truth.
Unfortunately, as somebody whohas walked through just about

(58:51):
every aspect of things thatwould make normal people curl up
and suck your thumbs and cry tothe mama, i have seen death in
every possible form.
I'm old friends with him, notjust because I shook his hand
more than once myself, butbecause I've put more than my

(59:13):
fair share in the ground.
We don't get to choose how ourlives play out.
That's already been predestined.
We just get the choice of whichpath we take.
You know they say there's anold saying that blood is thicker

(59:35):
than water.
But not a lot of people realizethat.
Well, that's only part of thatpoem.
It's the blood of the covenantis thicker than the water of the
womb.
So you see, when you say thefull poem, it changes the
context of the saying itself.
It's saying that the familythat you choose is a bond that

(59:59):
will always be stronger than thefamily you're born into.
Not because you don't havesomething in common with your
blood family, it's.
There's something in aspiritual level that you have
with those you choose to callfamily, and I'm thankful that I
get to call these crazy SOBsfamily.

(01:00:21):
Some of them had seen me at myworst.
Some haven't gotten that luxuryyet.
But if I could part one simplepiece of wisdom, take it from
somebody who has gone that route, who's tried to cancel their

(01:00:43):
subscription to life.
What's the point?
You don't think that shittingwill follow you into the
afterlife?
Think again.
You know our gods, specifically, aren't really big fans of us
86 and ourselves.
They have a purpose for us.

(01:01:06):
They don't always tell us.
Sometimes they want to figureit out ourselves.
Find your purpose, even if it'sthe person.
Find your safety, no matterwhat it is.
Whether you're forging blades,you're blowing stuff up,
whatever it takes.
Find your thing that bringssilence to your mind and embrace

(01:01:34):
it, because that outcome is farbetter than just lights out.
And with that I'll turn it backover to our lovely host and, as
always, much love, bruce Dorel.

Speaker 2 (01:01:52):
Yeah, a lot said there.
a lot I can't even carry onfrom.
I said it all, but I will dothis.
Magnus has charged his phoneand it's no longer overheating,
So I will allow Magnus to giveon this episode his final words
of wisdom before we go off air.

Speaker 7 (01:02:15):
Yeah, sorry about that.

Speaker 5 (01:02:18):
Are you playing the guitar Like?
could you leave like one bitchon the planet for the rest of us
, please?
I mean but regardless.

Speaker 7 (01:02:40):
I've been savage Yeah , even though you don't somebody
whoever's listening to thisthat you're having a hard time,
even though you don't know whatyour purpose is.
Hell, i don't know what mypurpose is.
I know I got one, though, Butdon't stop looking.
And I mean, i've been on thephone while friends have

(01:03:03):
committed, and I've been.
I've had to clean up cousinswho've committed, and you don't.
I just want to.
I want to really sink this in,because it doesn't take the pain
away.
Whenever you commit tosomething, whenever you commit

(01:03:26):
your life to a temporary problem, a elongated problem, whatever
you want to see it as.
However you see it, like youdon't take away the pain, you
just pass it on to everybodyelse.
And like I've been fighting foreight years trying to get

(01:03:47):
mental health, trying to gettherapists, trying to talk to
people.
And all of us have friends thataren't here anymore because of
this or that reason And like,don't stop looking, don't give

(01:04:07):
that pain to somebody else.
You don't want to be aninconvenience.
I understand.
Like I get it, i really do.
But we have to work on our ownthings because even just dying
naturally hurts other people.
Like it hurts whenever youcan't talk to your friend

(01:04:28):
anymore.
It hurts whenever you can'ttalk to your dad anymore.
Like I just got marriedyesterday and I was.
I spent I don't know threehours on the phone with one of
my friends and he's got fourkids and a wife.
And like he let his cancer.

(01:04:49):
He got cancer in his neck andthey don't know how bad it is
right now.
But like he was, he said myfamily are taking care of, and
that's not true.
If you're not there to do ityourself, you don't know how
it's going to be done.
Honestly, like you got to, yougot to help yourself.

(01:05:13):
You got to fight And I mean usveterans, we're pretty good at
that, we're pretty good at beingstubborn assholes, and I'm not
saying that guys who aren'tveterans don't, who don't fight
or don't do anything like that.
That's from my perspective,because I'm a veteran.
Like we get the asshole comingout pretty good in us all the

(01:05:35):
time.
So like don't give into it, ithurts no matter what And it just
depends on if you're hurting orsomebody else is hurting.
So how about you just deal withthe problem, you do what you
have to, you figure somethingout, we don't quit.

(01:05:58):
We don't get to quit, likethat's not our choice.
Rooster said like Hey, our, our, our gods aren't too favorable
about us ending it for ourselves, and that's right.
Like it's a deviation of a paththat you're supposed to take.

(01:06:18):
And I understand it's hard AndI'm getting yelled at from the
other room by women.

Speaker 2 (01:06:35):
To be fair.
to be fair, magnus, i will saythis and Rooster, who both said
our gods, i will, i will sayfrom from both sides of the
spectrum, not all sides, becauseI don't know all sides, i will
say I don't know any god, deity,gods, whatever you want to put
on it, whatever term you want toput on it, that looks kindly
upon you, decided to take itupon yourself to divert from the

(01:07:00):
path they have chosen for you.
So, unless you're an atheist,if you are an elastic, if you're
a Christian, if you're a pagan,if you're whatever, give
yourself a label, give yourselfa name, it doesn't matter.
None of them look kindly uponyou diverting from the path they
have chosen.

Speaker 7 (01:07:19):
Yep, and that's.
That's 100% true.
And like, as men, like we getoverlooked a lot.
Nobody asks like Hey, are youokay?
whenever you're the strong one,nobody asks, nobody checks in.
So I just want other men andI'm not saying it's primarily a

(01:07:49):
man thing, as I'm pretty surehas been already stated in this
but check in, do what you haveto like, live honestly, live,
not survive, that's a big one.
Yeah, honestly live.
Don't just survive, Becausesurviving is a state of panic

(01:08:13):
and panic ingrains itself intoyou.

Speaker 2 (01:08:18):
But you're not wrong.
Survival when you're insurvival mode, you're not living
.
You're not living life and alot of people one of the other
comments we say I'm okay, I'mfine, i'm alive, i'm breathing,

(01:08:38):
i'm here.
Whatever term, whatever phraseyou want to put on it, we've all
said it, we all say it,probably on a daily basis almost
.
You're in survival mode.
You're not living.
No, you're not actually livingto enjoy life.
You are not going through andenjoying everything there in

(01:09:01):
front of you And auto pilot man.
A lot of people suffer from this.
A lot of people are going tohave issues with this.
You have to find that reason ofbeing, whether that's because
you help others, whether that'sbecause you have a family,
whether that's because, whateverreason you give, i don't care

(01:09:24):
if it's beating the next levelin the new Zelda, i don't care.
I don't care if you're waitingfor the next Marvel movie to
come out or the next HarryPotter series or Percy Jackson
or whatever it is you're waitingfor.
I will end this episode on this.
You are not allowed to quit.
You're not allowed to give up.

(01:09:47):
You're not allowed to surrender.
You're a warrior until you dieAnd not by you deciding to check
out early.
You're a warrior when the fatesof whatever you believe in call
you home, and at that point,and only at that point, are you

(01:10:09):
allowed to check out and say myfight is done.
Until you hit that point, untilthe fates call you home, you're
not allowed to give up, you'renot allowed to quit.
Otherwise, i can't say anythingthat these gentlemen haven't
already said.
I can't say anything thatanybody else on this episode is
going to say.
Anybody else on this episodehas already said, quite and

(01:10:32):
simple You belong here.
I love you all.
You're all my warriors, you'reall my family, and I can't wait
to hear any of you in thecomments and the ratings and
whatever else next time.
So see you next time on Watt.