War and Peace in just 7 years (WAPIN7)

War and Peace in just 7 years (WAPIN7)

The world's biggest and most ridiculous War and Peace podcast. British comedians Will and Steve do battle with the greatest book of all time.


November 30, 2023 43 mins

What do you get when you mix the 'wrong type' of bees, a sentient half-dressed bear with a penchant for honey and a child with a gun and a really really nice balloon?

Why, you get the Season 8 special book episode of WAPIN7, is what you get!

And probably an extremely serious concussion which would require immediate medical attention.


To Ashford Forest in East Sussex - to be p...

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It's time for the Season 8 Catch-Up Quiz and boy do we have some questions for you!

There are pictures of comets, AI-generated nightmare art, varying degrees of slug speed accuracy and of course a question about the Smurfs. How does this all link to book 8 of War and Peace?

There's only one way to find out...


*Cue Gameshow Music


Full list of incredible...

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The time has finally come - the end of another book is upon us.

Gather round slugs, worms, maggots and humans young,  old and slimy as we seamlessly complete character arcs, wrap up storylines, culminate journeys literal and figurative, and generally tie up loose ends in this decisive season finale.

The slug square is positively quivering with anticipation, and so should you be too.

 Here's to one ...

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August 3, 2023 37 mins

What happens when you add one more side to a love triangle? What happens when one of those sides is an actual slug? A slug who was hell-bent on abducting one of the sides of the square!

We promise you this all makes perfect sense. Maybe pour yourself a long drink a take a good slug...


patreon.com/wapin7 - Slip into action and support the podslime!

wapin7.com/rate 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟-   Slime a quick ...

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Incredibly attractive as they may be, slugs are typically not known for their speed or for their clever plans.

Today that all changes. Prepare to meet the slug who has it all... great looks, sure (like all slugs), but also an incredible mensa level planning intellect, and exclusive access to the fastest transport system this side of Prussia.

He's got everything he needs, except for one thing - a slug bride,...

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I kissed a slug, and I liked it
Taste of its slime... surprising
I kissed a slug, just to try it
I hope my fiance don't mind it

It felt so wrong, it felt so right
Don't mean I'm a gastropod tonight
I smooched a slug and I liked it
(I liked it)


patreon.com/wapin7 - Slip into action and support the podslime!

wapin7.com/rate 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟-   Slime a quick rat...

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Slugs: the familiar garden beastie known for their gelatinous trails, unsightly appearance and voracious love of salad.

19th century Russian slugs were a little different - around 6ft tall they were known to roam in pairs, using their incredible influence and good looks to lure unsuspecting victims into questionable slime related situations.

Today we’re going inside the slimy mind of Moscow’s biggest, most prolific slug and his equal...

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Why does the Devil have a saucepan son and why are they dancing? What's wrong with the King's arms? Why is he also dancing? Why is their world made entirely of cardboard?

I wish we could answer those questions but unfortunately we just have more: why is the audience slowly getting naked, why is everyone screaming, will Natasha - or for that fact anyone - ever be happy again?

We're off to the Opera!

It's all over wh...

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May 25, 2023 45 mins

If we want to understand why pure, inescapable sadness has descended on what was once a happy, albeit somewhat violent and troubling book, we must go back in time.

Way, way, way back, all the way to Book 7 and ask ourselves some hard questions - what went wrong? Is anyone to blame? Could over indulgence of sauce or other condiments possibly be the culprit?

Everything on the table this week, even the sauces, as we...

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May 11, 2023 45 mins

Sure, being sad is sad. We can't deny it. It feels bad, it feels really quite sad in fact.

But what if the only way to conquer sadness is to be even more sad? What if you could have so much sadness that sadness itself would become sad and spit you out?

It's a bold idea, sadness would never expect that.

Join us this week as we try once again to vanquish sadness in the only way left, by flipping ...

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April 27, 2023 51 mins

You thought you knew sad? You know, sad... that feeling you get when you realise you've eaten the last crisp and there won't be any more crisps tonight, or when you have a shower and the hot water runs out, or even when you're on a call and the WiFi drops off and you don't know why. Sad, very sad indeed.

But it turns out things can be even sadder than that, things can get really, really sad actually in...

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We're back with a sadness bomb and some problems as old as time...

Can frivolous spending,  clubbing and drinking to excess  improve your health, mental wellbeing and outlook on life?

What would you do if you had loads of money and lost your joie de vivre? Would you ride an elephant around your town to make your neighbours jealous? Would you cover yourself in dayglo paint, hit the club and read the phonebook ...

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March 23, 2023 59 mins

The name's Jimbo, Jimbo Secretan, Her Magesty's Ornothologist and best gambler in Britain. 

Yes that's right it's time for the final special episode of Season 7 - this time it's a matter of national importance and there's only one man fit for the job.

He likes to drink heavily, smoke like a trumpet, and by gosh can he gamble his way out of a corner. The stakes have never been higher...

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 Join us for this incredibly special centenary episode of WAPIN7 - an unbelivable milestone for us, you, Tolstoy and surprisingly the animals of London Zoo.

Chosen by our Patrons, the Zoo is of course the obvious place to go for this commemorative - likely collectable - episode and it's the natural venue to host a quiz about War and Peace.  We've got all the animals you might expect in a good quiz plus a few mor...

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GHOSTS, WITCHES, CLOWNS, BEARS as well as the HUMAN BEAN - we've got it all this week, as we descend deep into hell for this final episode of Book 7.

You didn't expect it, we certainly didn't expect it, but yes - it's the end (already!) of the Book.  But if we're going, we're going in style: dinner - yes, kissing - check, chit chat with other worldly spirits - absolutely.

So dry your ...

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January 26, 2023 53 mins

It is rumoured that Shakira wrote her global smash hit single after being inspired by a perfect bowl of oats. 

The, now infamous, story goes that Shakira was so moved by the oats that she demanded a harp was bought to the table so she could express her joy and appreciation through music. 

Upon completion of the song; she triumphantly held her bowl of half eaten oats aloft and announced to the stars, "Don't you see...

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January 12, 2023 50 mins

You know the old saying: Hunt hard, play hard. And boy have we hunted hard.

Drop your crop, hang your horn, and swap your hunting knife for an eating knife, because the hunt is over and it's time to party like it's 1799 all over again.

We've got incredible new food stuffs, so much alcohol it would make Count Rostov blush, as well as some of the country's hottest open mic acts - all of it in Ru...

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December 29, 2022 46 mins

Since the beginning of time there have been rivalries that have transcended the generations:

  • Cats and dogs
  • Sliced bread and non sliced bread 
  • Red or white wine 

And many more!

It's time for a new rivalry.

Can any living being catch hares better than Digital Susan?

Everything is on the line.


And they're off!


patreon.com/wapin7 - Strum into act...

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December 15, 2022 51 mins

It's an age old question: How many dogs would a good dog dog if a good dog could dog dogs?

Is 5 dogs the right answer? 50? Would 5000 dogs be a good number of dogs to involve?

Tolstoy wasn't afraid of asking the hard questions, and neither are we.

So down a pint of your best brandy, rename your favourite horse and join us this week as we go on the hunt for answers to some of the world's m...

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December 1, 2022 40 mins

One is the epic and unforgettable adventure of a talking bulldog, a talking golden retriever and presumably a talking cat and the other; a tale of a soldier's rather forgettable journey home to fix his family's financial mess. 

Which is which?!

There's only one way to find out...

Onwards to BOOK 7!


patreon.com/wapin7 - Strum into action and support the podcast!

wapin7.com/rate 🌟...

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