War and Peace in just 7 years (WAPIN7)

War and Peace in just 7 years (WAPIN7)

The world's biggest and most ridiculous War and Peace podcast. British comedians Will and Steve do battle with the greatest book of all time.


August 4, 2022 59 min

We've been to soirees, parties, even a casual ball or five during our time with War and Peace. We've watched as The King of Sauce set the dance floor on fire, we've seen kids doing backflips to impress other kids, we've applauded out of fear and amazement as the Blunt Dragon devoured people whole.

Truly we thought we'd seen everything that high society Russia had to offer.

Little did we know that there was anoth...

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Some marry for love.

Some marry for a protracted negotiation around dowry payments, up front deposits, cash incentives and share options.

Some choose not to marry because they don't love someone.

Some choose not to marry because the dowry payments, up front deposits, cash incentives and share options aren't optimal in the current economic climate and the return on investment will be suboptimal.

* Cue Succession Theme



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July 7, 2022 41 min

Dear Diary,
My name's Pierre and I'm in my 20s, maybe early 30s, I'm not really sure. I've had a strange few years, I swapped my wife for a pile of bones and then I built a hospital out of money and sticks. Now I'm a senior guy at a pretty cool secret club, they think I'm pretty cool, but I'm starting to worry all the blood and arguments might not be as great as I first thought.
Anyway sleepy now, night n...

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June 23, 2022 43 min

All together now!

He's got the rights of the people, in his hands!

He's got plump white hands, for his hands!

He's got a strange way of talking, in his hands!

He's got the whole world in his hands!


patreon.com/wapin7 - Spring into action and support the podcast!

wapin7.com/rate 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟- Celebrate spring by leaving a rating or review!
instagram.com/wapin7podcast/ - Follow us on Sprin...

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We’re back! It’s officially Volume 2, it’s officially 1808, it’s officially spring. Indeed, the spring has never been springier in this spring-time spring spectacular. Peel off precisely one layer, go for a walk, and get ready to feel the full force of spring’s power.

Chirping birds - check.

Blooming flowers - check.

Talking trees - check.

This is going to be the best damn spring of our entire lives.


patreon.com/wapin7 - Spring into ...

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You've been hanging on to that cliff for too long! 

It's time for us to set you free and reveal the murderer! Or MURDERERS!!

This week it's all about windows and doors and locks and nails and hair but mainly windows and locks and doors and did we mention windows?!

Get ready for the payoff of to the world's FIRST detective story. 

You're not going to believe it...


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Move over Sherlock, pipe down Poirot, check yourself Miss Marple - there's a new detective in town and he's the real og.

This week we meet the incredible deductive mind of August Dupin - a sexy, forceful and profoundly arogant amateur detective cleaning up the streets of Paris with nothing more than his wit, his assistant and his incredible telepathic abilities.

Written by Edgar Allan Poe in 1841 it is widely considered to b...

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April 28, 2022 69 min

You look down at your large red powerful hands. You clench one into a  fist and pump it triumphantly into the air! You've finished Book 5 of War and Peace and rightly want the world to know about. 

"What next?!" You scream.

"I need more!!"

It's time to put your knowledge of Book 5 to the ultimate test. We've got questions about: bones, hands, horses, Smurfs and Freemasons. 


Let us know ho...

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It's the end of Book 5 AND the end of Volume 1 of War and Peace - and there are just so many unanswered questions:

Will Denisov escape the law?
Will peace last forever?
Will the surfs ever truly be free?
Why was that hospital so awful?
Will Nicky get an arbitrary promotion for no reason in particular?
Where did all those bones come from?
Who the hell stole all the biscuits?
What was that tiny monkey butler all about?

Join us for this h...

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March 31, 2022 40 min

Casual clothes day, dress down day, own clothes day, free dress day, non-uniform day, uniform free day, wear what you want day...

Whatever you call it, it might be a day you look back on fondly, remembering that time you wore your favourite jeans to school and everyone said "great jeans". Or perhaps it's memory you've locked deep in your memory shed because of the time you wore jeans to school and everyone else was a...

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March 17, 2022 42 min

🇺🇦 How to support the people of Ukraine 🇺🇦

  • Support from the UK
  • Support from the US
  • Other ways to help from your country
  • //

    We've had mustard plasters, hot beef tea and leeches. 

    In this week's episode we can add one more questionable healthcare practice to our list: laughter

    You know what they say? 

    "A giggle a day keeps the Doctor away!"

    Be sure to bring your favourite joke book with you beca...

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    March 3, 2022 47 min

    If you've assembled an IKEA cupboard or two you'll know how essential good, clear instructions are. They really can make the difference between having an attractive, sturdy cupboard, or finding yourself poisoned, shot and starving after a monumental argument. 

    This week we're opening a couple of WAP instructional manuals - first we'll be leafing through "How to build your first mud hut in 1000 easy steps," a ...

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    February 17, 2022 45 min

    Pierre the perfect pilgrim pleaser pleases pilgrims perfectly in this week's perfectly priceless episode of WAPIN7.


    "Pierre? Perfect!? " You proudly protest!

    Well yes! Pierre is a perfect, polished, patient, professional, pleasant, punctilious and perfectly perfect player and it's about time everyone knew it!



    patreon.com/wapin7 -  Would ye support the podcast, me hearites?!

    wapin7.com/rate 🌟...

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    February 3, 2022 50 min

    This week we're talking Serfs - the indentured workforce of 1800s Russia, bonded to a lifetime of hard labor for zero pay as they slowly die from preventable diseases in their rat infested hovels.

    We'll be asking "Is that really that bad?" and hearing things like "Maybe my Serfs are actually having a great time?" as well as "Even if it won't cost me much to significantly improve their lives, what'...

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    January 20, 2022 47 min

    We just got a meta letter!

    I wonder who it's from?

    A letter inside another letter!

    I wonder who it's from?!

    A letter longer than time itself...

    I wonder who it's from!!

    A special special meta letter that's super extra long!


    There's only one way to find out...


    patreon.com/wapin7 -  Would ye support the podcast, me hearites?!

    wapin7.com/rate 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟- ...

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    January 6, 2022 40 min

    Warm up your mouth, polish your teeth and fill your lungs because it's time to party! Yes that's right, you are invited to another sensational Anna 1 get together where your hips absolutely will not do the talking, but your lips certainly will. 

    Prepare to chat, schmooze, and wag your chin all the way to the top as you compete with the greatest small talkers in all of St. Petersberg. Will you tell the joke of a lifetime and ...

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    December 23, 2021 41 min

    We've all joined ultra secretive societies before. We all know the drill: box of bones, blindfold, various sets of gloves with incredibly specific uses, a trowel, some aprons, secret hieroglyphs, an unknowable mystery, various states of undress and of course a very very very large bill to be paid immediately!

    For those of you who haven't joined a secret society I think you're in for quite a treat...

    "More bones, pleas...

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    Ahoy me hearties! What better way to start Book 5 than with an old sea shanty!

    One sad man in a very sad place
    Yo ho ho and a bottle of vodka
    Enter the Pirate King with a large round face
    Yo ho ho and a bottle of vodka

    Who is the Pirate King? What does he want? Why is he yelling? Why does he only eat tiny bits of sugar?

    There's only one way to find out...

    It be time to walk the plank!


    patreon.com/wapin7 -  Would ye support the podcas...

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    November 25, 2021 45 min

    What happens when you take a boring old monkey paw, fill it with magical evilness and exactly three wishes, and give it to an unsuspecting family who like playing chess and listening to the wind? 

    Will they wish for world peace? 

    Will they wish for the world's best clown?

    Will they wish for more paws?

    There's only one way to find out...

    "Monkey Paw, I wish for a special episode of WAPIN7 summarising ALL of the Monkey's P...

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    November 18, 2021 60 min

    You've finished book 4 of the greatest book of all time! 

    You're feeling proud, brave and completely diplomat. You howl with pride. Howl like a recently cursed werewolf singing his heart out at the clavichord. Just as you reach the crescendo of your happy wolf song it dawns on you... Do I actually remember anything?

    Well do you?!

    It's quiz time! 

    We've got questions about 13th century personal pronouns, shopping lists, ...

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