A remarkable transformation unfolds when heartbreak meets creativity. Michele Davis, co-host of Warrior Moms podcast and grieving mother, shares the extraordinary journey of how her poem about her son Carter became "Traces of You" - a song her student Slater performed on American Idol that's now touching millions of lives across America.
Michele reveals how she broke through her emotional writing block during a writing retreat, finding inspiration in the Greek myth of Daedalus and Icarus - another parent who lost a son. This breakthrough led to a poem exploring how we search for remnants of our loved ones in everyday moments - the fingerprints, both literal and figurative, that remain when someone is gone. When her student Slater transformed these words into music, neither anticipated how far their collaboration would reach.
The conversation delves into the complicated emotions of navigating both joy and profound grief simultaneously. Michele describes performing the song with Slater at their school, the physical exhaustion of grief, and how the American Idol platform has connected Warrior Moms with grieving parents nationwide who are reaching out for support. The hosts challenge the misconception that "time heals all wounds," emphasizing instead that healing requires intentional work, community, and the courage to find meaning amid loss. As Michele poignantly shares clips of the original poem alongside the song's impact, listeners witness how art can transform personal tragedy into collective healing.
Have you experienced loss? Listen as Michele and Amy demonstrate how sharing our grief stories creates connection and how, despite the pain, our loved ones were "worth every single breath." This episode offers not just comfort to those grieving, but insight for anyone seeking to support someone navigating loss.
Bonus: Listen to Michele Davis and Slater Nalley's duet of "Traces of You"
"Dream Bird" by Jonny Easton
Thank you for listening to Warrior Moms podcast. It is an honor to share about our beloved children gone too soon, and we hope by telling of our loss, it may help someone in their grief journey. Please note that we are not medical professionals and encourage those listening to seek help from mental health professionals.
We'd love to hear from our followers!
Website: https://www.warriormoms.me/
Facebook: Warrior Moms-The Club No One Wants to Be In
Instagram: WarriorMoms.SurvivingChildLoss
With love,
Warrior Moms Amy & Michele
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hello and welcome back to Warrior Moms.
I'm Michelle.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
Davis and I am Amy Durham and we are so glad y'all
are back with us.
We got a fun, fun thing today.
Guys, as many of you may knowor I think y'all do by now but
Michelle has been on AmericanIdol not as a contestant, but as
a teacher of her sweet studentSlater, who has written a song
(00:29):
in honor of Carter.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
And so we just want to pick Michelle's brain and
kind of get the inside scoop onwhat it's been like, michelle oh
my gosh, it's just.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
I mean, first of all, when he surprised me, I mean I
had asked him how he turns apoem into a song, since I had
written a song, or I mean a poem, for Carter, and in two weeks
he had written his own version,which of course, now is the
infamous Traces of you thatpeople have heard.
And it just is incredible.
(01:06):
And then, once now this wholeAmerican Idol thing has began,
it's just been an absolutewhirlwind.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
I remember it was over a year ago.
For some reason, I think it waslike remind me.
Like was it around January.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
It was actually the beginning of the school year
Last year.
Yeah, not this fall, but thefall of the school year Last
year.
Yeah, not this fall, but thefall of the school year.
Yes, okay.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
That's when it all started.
I just remember at Carter'slacrosse pickup game he sang it
there.
Yes, that's right, I rememberhim singing it there and that
was in February, so I couldn'tremember.
That's right, Y'all have had arelationship for some time, yeah
three years now, yeah.
It's just so fun to watch, andI've heard about this child for
(01:50):
years.
Yes, a punk.
I won't call him a punk.
He's probably not a punk, he'sa sweet kid.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
He's a sweet kid, a little wild child with a giant
heart.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
Yes, he's still a teenage boy and all it's so
exciting, it is With a giantheart.
Yes, he's still a teenage boyin all avenues.
It's so exciting it is.
But so you wrote the poem andthen asked him to show you how,
and then he just took it and ranwith it.
Yes, it was so excited.
I remember the whole process,yes, the bad telephone version
(02:25):
of the song and I shouldn't saytelephone version, but the you
know, recording on the phone andlistening to it.
And just like I remember thatwhole process and people have
asked me Amy, what was the poemLike?
What's the original poem?
Do you have that?
Are you willing to share thatwith us?
Speaker 1 (02:43):
Sure, yeah, yeah, it was how it began, was?
There's a story, a Greekmythology story?
And we were reading lots ofdifferent pieces, of course, in
the writing retreat and this onewas based on the Greek
mythology story of Deldalis, whois a father and he built these
(03:07):
beautiful wings for he and hisson and he glued the wings
together, held them togetherwith wax, and he said you know,
we can fly with these wings.
And he said told his son, youhave to be careful.
If you fly too close to the sun, you know the wings will fall
off, you know the wax will melt.
(03:27):
And the sun just got so excitedand just kept flying closer and
closer and he ends up fallingto his death.
And we had read this firstperson account from the dad's
perspective and I hadn't beenable to write.
I had written journal entriesto Carter, but not any creative
(03:50):
writing at all and for somereason it was just Michelle is a
writer and she is a creativewriter, and this is who she is
and has been for years.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
So for you not to be able to write was a big deal.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
It really was a big deal, and so, yeah.
So this is the first thing thatI wrote and that led right into
Traces of you.
So this was called.
The Doubtless Curse is Mine, Iwonder.
Where I made doubtless as air,where I had crashed through a
wall meant to keep me still.
What was my flaw that meltedover feathers.
(04:24):
Despite my fearless solution, Itoo have cried my son's name
without a returning sound.
I too chatter like thepartridge and get stuck in my
muddy mire.
Yet I cackle with joy that,even though the wings failed,
icarus is still Daldalus's sonand Carter is still mine.
(04:45):
And then I had an epilogue.
Didn't know I'd go to acathartic place with my
trembling pen in hand.
I hadn't been able to writesince Carter gained his wings,
but this story broke through mysilence, a blindness to the
beauty I might find in theswirling sorrow.
I'm now realizing one'sblindness can give sight to
(05:08):
those thrashing in the waves.
Yeah, so that was that one.
So after I wrote that we hadsome just space and time in the
writing retreat, and just thisidea popped into my head about
having a song that was calledTraces of you.
I know all of us warrior moms,that you were just constantly
(05:29):
looking really for their literalfingerprints, right, and the
figurative ones of just what arethe things that they love to do
and how can we recreate kind ofthe essence of our kids, right?
And so I imagined this songthat all of us could listen to,
and I would know it was forCarter, but everybody else could
(05:50):
also feel Feel the feels.
Yeah, feel the feels that theylove it.
Yeah.
So here's my Traces of you.
Traces of you.
Wheels turn and trees blur.
The moon leads my way.
Yellow dashes keep rhythm, keepdirection, despite being lost
in the view, in thought, in love.
Searching for traces of you.
(06:10):
Blue eyes, mischief-filled,crooked smile, an athletic build
gone too soon.
Yet the room fills with piecesand prizes, all of you wishing
my thoughts, my love could bringmore than traces of you stuck
in places and spaces, searchingfor you.
Memories and photos seem frozenin time, absent and empty.
(06:31):
No new memories with you.
So I'll keep searching fortraces of you.
The world keeps turning while Imiss you, photographs age and
I've got nothing new.
Love will push me through as Isearch for traces of you.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
Oh my God, like I've.
I've heard it, I've read it,but it just hit me different
today, did it?
Yes, because it is.
Is the traces it?
There's traces everywhere.
Like you know, alec is a brownbird, carter is a hawk.
Yes, you know, other people havefeathers and pennies and dimes
(07:07):
and butterflies and dragonfliesand everybody you know we look
at like Christine and them, theyhave the number eight, robin
and them have the number eight.
You know numbers, you have aneight.
You know it's just Butterfliesand yeah, yes, and there are
traces of you.
You know it's just butterfliesand yeah, and there are traces
(07:28):
of you.
You know, and Alex birthday isthree, 14.
So I'll see three, 14,ridiculous numbers of time.
You know, just so it's it is.
It's those little things, thoselittle traces.
They're everywhere If you justopen your eyes and look for them
.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
Yes, absolutely.
And what is just so cool is,you know, slater took my words
and the essence of you, knowwhat the song was and he made it
his own and, of course, came upwith just this beautiful melody
and chorus.
And oh my gosh to know that thesong is out there and doing
(08:07):
exactly what I imagined it to do.
I mean, I know, amy, you and Ihave read lots of people's
comments on our Facebook orInstagram that are reaching out
to the Warrior Moms and havejust been so taken by the song.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
Oh, yes, and I have friends all the time go.
Oh, he's going far, oh, he'sgoing, he's going, he's going,
you know, and it is Now soeverybody's taken back by the
song and the story and all this.
But how are you, how are youdealing with this?
Because as much greatness andglory and goodness and
(08:43):
excitement is in there, I knowthere's some heartache too.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
Yeah, Just you asking that question.
Of course I'm choking upthinking about it.
Yeah, I've definitely had to dosome good naps, spending some
time just in bed andrecuperating.
It's just the physicality ofgrief even in the midst of just
(09:14):
absolute joy, it's still themissing is just so incredibly
heavy.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
Yeah, it's obvious that he's not there.
Yeah, and he should be there,because I know that you and
Jeremy and Greta, this is a hugecelebration.
Yes, you know, because it'ssuch excitement.
However, it's sadness that sitsright on the other side of that
grid, one of the things that'sbeen really special.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
And, moving on top of all this, I was surprised we
could have anything moretouching.
But my dad, for many years now,every Christmas he asks us
girls.
So I'm one of three sisters,and then I have a niece and, of
course, our daughter Greta, oneof three sisters, and then I
(10:14):
have a niece and, um, of course,our daughter Greta, and he
wants us all to pick a song andwe have to sing it to.
You know, my family, um, andthat's my dad's Christmas
present.
And we weren't together.
We've got, you know, I love thelyrics Every minute of it, yeah
, but we weren't together thisChristmas.
(10:37):
And so I thought, oh my gosh,how cool would it be if I asked
Slater if we could sing Tracesof you together, and that would
be my dad's birthday present.
And so we were over at theNally's last week and Slater was
playing some songs, you know,of songs he might play in these
(11:01):
upcoming American Idol eventsand such, and I had asked him
would you be willing to do that?
And so we jumped in and I canharmonize, and it was so much
fun.
So, yeah, I'll let the audiencehear and dance.
(11:22):
You can tap, dance and sing.
Well, I can do a jig anyway,right?
Speaker 2 (11:29):
You don't know that it's a full on tap dance
performance.
Yes, exactly.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
So it was really special.
So we sang then at his houseand then the assistant head of
school had asked Slater and I tospeak at the middle school, and
so we put together.
He and Slater's girlfriend puttogether a presentation and they
included Carter's picture on it.
(11:56):
And Slater was like gosh, missDavis, let's sing this at school
.
And I was like, oh, my heavens,I was so nervous.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
He's one of all your students and soon to be students
.
It was middle school students.
Speaker 1 (12:08):
So it was like okay, well, you know that that felt a
little better, cause I don't,you know, I don't teach any of
them.
And then the high school foundout and they were doing a
sendoff for Slater on that nextday and Slater's like come on,
ms Davis, you know let's do thisschool and um, so I did and
that's what the I know you were,I know you were a nervous wreck
(12:31):
about it.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
I did, and that's what the audio is.
I know you were a nervous wreckabout it.
I was.
Which one were you more nervousabout?
The first one at the middleschool or the one with the high
school, where all your studentsare?
Speaker 1 (12:39):
Yes, the one with the high school.
But what's so powerful is andI'll post one of the videos or
two of the videos on our website, but on the huge screen behind
us was one of Carter videos, ortwo of the videos on our on our
website, but, um, on the hugescreen behind us was one of
Carter's senior pictures, and sowhile we were singing this, I
mean, kids were crying, teacherswere crying, um, and it was
(13:03):
just pure joy for me to get tosing with Slater.
And even on the parts wherewe're singing in uniform unison,
it's amazing, you can hardlytell our voices apart.
They just blend together sowell.
So that was so much fun.
But the second I finished, Ipractically ran off the stage
(13:24):
because I was shaking and I knewI was just going to start
bawling.
I just had to get off stagequickly, because it's exactly
what you said.
It's both joy and such deepsorrow, all at the exact same
time.
Speaker 2 (13:37):
All at the exact same time, which is physically
exhausting.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
Yes, absolutely, but I wouldn't change it.
I wouldn't change it for theworld.
It's amazing.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
No, it's just, we have to keep going.
Yeah, and and the thing is, isthat it's it's?
It's creating so much goodnessout there.
You know, this is goodness forSweet Slater to be able to
create art music, you know, andlaunch his career yes, so to
speak, and he's go ahead.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
No, and and he was so sweet that night.
And they go ahead, no, and, andhe was so sweet that night, you
know he was asking, you knowhe's so just thoughtful all
their, their family is.
And he was right, yes, and hewas asking me and my husband
just exactly what you asked howare you really feeling about all
(14:25):
this?
My husband was saying it's.
You know he's a lot moreprivate than I am and that this
has been a really hard thing forhim.
And Slater says you give me theword and I'm shutting this
whole thing down.
And he sincerely means it.
And I said, slater, I don'tthink we can shut this down.
He goes oh, yes, yes, we can.
(14:48):
Here he is in the midst of justall this great attention and so
forth, and he sincerely meansit, and he says it every time
we're together, that he never,you know, wants to have it
overshadow, that this is inCarter's memory and you know
it's just incredible.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
So it's an honor, it is in Connor's memory and it's
in honor of you too and therelationship and the goodness
that you pour into your students.
I mean normal people, meanpeople, ungrateful people don't
have that connection withsomeone else to be able to have
(15:32):
something so beautiful come outof it, and that's a testament to
you and it is a testament ofyou know how you keep going and
showing that there is goodnessin the world, even though such a
horrific, horrific eventhappened.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
Well, and what I said to the students in the middle
school because they didn't knowthe story of Carter and so forth
, and I just said that this song, for me, is so important
because every single humancarries grief and we all,
whether we've lost somebody youknow to death or it's just
they're not no longer in ourlife we're constantly seeking
(16:17):
those little traces andconnections to the people that
we love and, if we can, if thisbrings that conversation you
know into the world that griefis part of all of our lives and
it's okay to share it and totalk about it and to feel both
joy and sorrow, right.
Speaker 2 (16:39):
Well, and to kind of change the tone a little bit,
there's people everywhere thathas grief, that live in grief
day in and day out, and that'ssomething that us with Warrior
Moms, we find comfort in havingour community that share the
same grief of child loss.
Yes, we're learning.
(17:00):
We knew this before.
We're not learning it.
It's not new information thatthere are people out there that
have lost children, that don'thave connections to someone else
to help them get out of bedevery day.
They think that it's going to belike this forever.
They're going to be sad for therest of their lives and there
(17:21):
is no joy.
And I love the fact that it'sgiving I don't want to say us
and Avenue, but it is giving asight into what a warrior mom
really is.
Yeah, and that it's becausewe've had people because you
(17:42):
were on American Idol andbecause of Carter story and
because of Slater honoringCarter and you, it's opened up
doors to women all over Americathat are reaching out saying I
have lost my child.
You know, I lost my child twomonths ago.
I lost my child three years ago.
(18:03):
I want to start a warrior mom'sgroup here in my town, and that
, to me, is God putting hishands right in there and
stirring it all up and bringinggood.
Yes, and it's good In adifferent way that was not
expected.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
Right and I think that has been such a powerful
lesson.
I know, amy, you and I feel itso much is just, you know you
get a little tug to do something, whether it's somebody's asked
you, um, you know, just likewhen I put out there, hey, if
anybody wants to do the podcast,um, and you just jumped in
Right and um, it's that abilityto just lean in and allow God to
(18:46):
use you and and move through usand we're, you know, we didn't
know what, what we were doing,we didn't know how to plug in a
microphone, michelle, we didn'tknow how to turn on the
soundboard, I mean.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
But that's life, and that's the life of grief is you
just put one foot in front ofthe other and you just go.
And that's what I try to tellpeople.
You know some people you knowthis is a grand gesture of you
know a song written about yourchild and you get to share him
on a huge stage, but that itdoesn't have to be that grand.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
No, and it just be speaking your child's name to
someone and it's amazing because, yes, we've heard from moms,
but I have heard from dads.
I got this incredible emaillast week from a dad who had
lost his son just seven monthsago and just how this song
(19:41):
touched him and then otherpeople who it hasn't been a
child, it's been a mother, it'sbeen a father and a sibling, and
I just love that.
We're getting to talk aboutgrief and um, and and also the
honest part that you do have todo the work and you do have to
(20:01):
lean in, and and time does notheal.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
Time does not heal all wounds.
Time does not heal it.
You have to put the effort into make yourself get out of bed
yes, and you know.
Or to put the laundry in thedryer?
Speaker 1 (20:20):
Yeah, some days you have to put yourself in bed so
that you then can do the laundrythe next day, or whatever it is
.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
Exactly and figuring it out.
That's the hard part, but it isworth it.
Yes, yeah, and our it out,that's the hard part, but it is
worth it.
Yes, and our kids were worth itAll this grief, our kids were
still worth every minute we hadwith them.
Well maybe not every singleminute.
Some of them were not greatbecause we both had teenagers at
some point, but it is, theywere worth every single breath.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
Yes, that's so true.
Yes.
Speaker 2 (20:55):
And I will continue to look for traces of Alec and
you'll continue to look fortraces of Carter, and I want our
listeners to listen for that.
Speaker 1 (21:02):
Yes, and I'll post Traces if you do at yes, I will
post some of these videos on mybio page on our warriormomsme
website and so you can find thatthere, and the poem is on there
(21:22):
as well and so you can readthat and, yeah, it's just a
little treasure for me, for sure, and we are just so grateful
for the interest in Warrior Momsand our podcast, and Amy and I
are just so humbled by all ofyou listeners.
Speaker 2 (21:41):
Yes, we are.
Thank you all for listening andfor coming back every week and
listening to more.
Yeah, until next time.
Until next time.
Thank you guys, bye.
Hello and welcome back to Warrior Moms.
I'm Michelle.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
Davis and I am Amy Durham and we are so glad y'all
are back with us.
We got a fun, fun thing today.
Guys, as many of you may knowor I think y'all do by now but
Michelle has been on AmericanIdol not as a contestant, but as
a teacher of her sweet studentSlater, who has written a song
(00:29):
in honor of Carter.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
And so we just want to pick Michelle's brain and
kind of get the inside scoop onwhat it's been like, michelle oh
my gosh, it's just.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
I mean, first of all, when he surprised me, I mean I
had asked him how he turns apoem into a song, since I had
written a song, or I mean a poem, for Carter, and in two weeks
he had written his own version,which of course, now is the
infamous Traces of you thatpeople have heard.
And it just is incredible.
(01:06):
And then, once now this wholeAmerican Idol thing has began,
it's just been an absolutewhirlwind.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
I remember it was over a year ago.
For some reason, I think it waslike remind me.
Like was it around January.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
It was actually the beginning of the school year
Last year.
Yeah, not this fall, but thefall of the school year Last
year.
Yeah, not this fall, but thefall of the school year.
Yes, okay.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
That's when it all started.
I just remember at Carter'slacrosse pickup game he sang it
there.
Yes, that's right, I rememberhim singing it there and that
was in February, so I couldn'tremember.
That's right, Y'all have had arelationship for some time, yeah
three years now, yeah.
It's just so fun to watch, andI've heard about this child for
(01:50):
years.
Yes, a punk.
I won't call him a punk.
He's probably not a punk, he'sa sweet kid.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
He's a sweet kid, a little wild child with a giant
heart.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
Yes, he's still a teenage boy and all it's so
exciting, it is With a giantheart.
Yes, he's still a teenage boyin all avenues.
It's so exciting it is.
But so you wrote the poem andthen asked him to show you how,
and then he just took it and ranwith it.
Yes, it was so excited.
I remember the whole process,yes, the bad telephone version
(02:25):
of the song and I shouldn't saytelephone version, but the you
know, recording on the phone andlistening to it.
And just like I remember thatwhole process and people have
asked me Amy, what was the poemLike?
What's the original poem?
Do you have that?
Are you willing to share thatwith us?
Speaker 1 (02:43):
Sure, yeah, yeah, it was how it began, was?
There's a story, a Greekmythology story?
And we were reading lots ofdifferent pieces, of course, in
the writing retreat and this onewas based on the Greek
mythology story of Deldalis, whois a father and he built these
(03:07):
beautiful wings for he and hisson and he glued the wings
together, held them togetherwith wax, and he said you know,
we can fly with these wings.
And he said told his son, youhave to be careful.
If you fly too close to the sun, you know the wings will fall
off, you know the wax will melt.
(03:27):
And the sun just got so excitedand just kept flying closer and
closer and he ends up fallingto his death.
And we had read this firstperson account from the dad's
perspective and I hadn't beenable to write.
I had written journal entriesto Carter, but not any creative
(03:50):
writing at all and for somereason it was just Michelle is a
writer and she is a creativewriter, and this is who she is
and has been for years.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
So for you not to be able to write was a big deal.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
It really was a big deal, and so, yeah.
So this is the first thing thatI wrote and that led right into
Traces of you.
So this was called.
The Doubtless Curse is Mine, Iwonder.
Where I made doubtless as air,where I had crashed through a
wall meant to keep me still.
What was my flaw that meltedover feathers.
(04:24):
Despite my fearless solution, Itoo have cried my son's name
without a returning sound.
I too chatter like thepartridge and get stuck in my
muddy mire.
Yet I cackle with joy that,even though the wings failed,
icarus is still Daldalus's sonand Carter is still mine.
(04:45):
And then I had an epilogue.
Didn't know I'd go to acathartic place with my
trembling pen in hand.
I hadn't been able to writesince Carter gained his wings,
but this story broke through mysilence, a blindness to the
beauty I might find in theswirling sorrow.
I'm now realizing one'sblindness can give sight to
(05:08):
those thrashing in the waves.
Yeah, so that was that one.
So after I wrote that we hadsome just space and time in the
writing retreat, and just thisidea popped into my head about
having a song that was calledTraces of you.
I know all of us warrior moms,that you were just constantly
(05:29):
looking really for their literalfingerprints, right, and the
figurative ones of just what arethe things that they love to do
and how can we recreate kind ofthe essence of our kids, right?
And so I imagined this songthat all of us could listen to,
and I would know it was forCarter, but everybody else could
(05:50):
also feel Feel the feels.
Yeah, feel the feels that theylove it.
Yeah.
So here's my Traces of you.
Traces of you.
Wheels turn and trees blur.
The moon leads my way.
Yellow dashes keep rhythm, keepdirection, despite being lost
in the view, in thought, in love.
Searching for traces of you.
(06:10):
Blue eyes, mischief-filled,crooked smile, an athletic build
gone too soon.
Yet the room fills with piecesand prizes, all of you wishing
my thoughts, my love could bringmore than traces of you stuck
in places and spaces, searchingfor you.
Memories and photos seem frozenin time, absent and empty.
(06:31):
No new memories with you.
So I'll keep searching fortraces of you.
The world keeps turning while Imiss you, photographs age and
I've got nothing new.
Love will push me through as Isearch for traces of you.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
Oh my God, like I've.
I've heard it, I've read it,but it just hit me different
today, did it?
Yes, because it is.
Is the traces it?
There's traces everywhere.
Like you know, alec is a brownbird, carter is a hawk.
Yes, you know, other people havefeathers and pennies and dimes
(07:07):
and butterflies and dragonfliesand everybody you know we look
at like Christine and them, theyhave the number eight, robin
and them have the number eight.
You know numbers, you have aneight.
You know it's just Butterfliesand yeah, yes, and there are
traces of you.
You know it's just butterfliesand yeah, and there are traces
(07:28):
of you.
You know, and Alex birthday isthree, 14.
So I'll see three, 14,ridiculous numbers of time.
You know, just so it's it is.
It's those little things, thoselittle traces.
They're everywhere If you justopen your eyes and look for them
.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
Yes, absolutely.
And what is just so cool is,you know, slater took my words
and the essence of you, knowwhat the song was and he made it
his own and, of course, came upwith just this beautiful melody
and chorus.
And oh my gosh to know that thesong is out there and doing
(08:07):
exactly what I imagined it to do.
I mean, I know, amy, you and Ihave read lots of people's
comments on our Facebook orInstagram that are reaching out
to the Warrior Moms and havejust been so taken by the song.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
Oh, yes, and I have friends all the time go.
Oh, he's going far, oh, he'sgoing, he's going, he's going,
you know, and it is Now soeverybody's taken back by the
song and the story and all this.
But how are you, how are youdealing with this?
Because as much greatness andglory and goodness and
(08:43):
excitement is in there, I knowthere's some heartache too.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
Yeah, Just you asking that question.
Of course I'm choking upthinking about it.
Yeah, I've definitely had to dosome good naps, spending some
time just in bed andrecuperating.
It's just the physicality ofgrief even in the midst of just
(09:14):
absolute joy, it's still themissing is just so incredibly
heavy.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
Yeah, it's obvious that he's not there.
Yeah, and he should be there,because I know that you and
Jeremy and Greta, this is a hugecelebration.
Yes, you know, because it'ssuch excitement.
However, it's sadness that sitsright on the other side of that
grid, one of the things that'sbeen really special.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
And, moving on top of all this, I was surprised we
could have anything moretouching.
But my dad, for many years now,every Christmas he asks us
girls.
So I'm one of three sisters,and then I have a niece and, of
course, our daughter Greta, oneof three sisters, and then I
(10:14):
have a niece and, um, of course,our daughter Greta, and he
wants us all to pick a song andwe have to sing it to.
You know, my family, um, andthat's my dad's Christmas
present.
And we weren't together.
We've got, you know, I love thelyrics Every minute of it, yeah
, but we weren't together thisChristmas.
(10:37):
And so I thought, oh my gosh,how cool would it be if I asked
Slater if we could sing Tracesof you together, and that would
be my dad's birthday present.
And so we were over at theNally's last week and Slater was
playing some songs, you know,of songs he might play in these
(11:01):
upcoming American Idol eventsand such, and I had asked him
would you be willing to do that?
And so we jumped in and I canharmonize, and it was so much
fun.
So, yeah, I'll let the audiencehear and dance.
(11:22):
You can tap, dance and sing.
Well, I can do a jig anyway,right?
Speaker 2 (11:29):
You don't know that it's a full on tap dance
performance.
Yes, exactly.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
So it was really special.
So we sang then at his houseand then the assistant head of
school had asked Slater and I tospeak at the middle school, and
so we put together.
He and Slater's girlfriend puttogether a presentation and they
included Carter's picture on it.
(11:56):
And Slater was like gosh, missDavis, let's sing this at school
.
And I was like, oh, my heavens,I was so nervous.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
He's one of all your students and soon to be students
.
It was middle school students.
Speaker 1 (12:08):
So it was like okay, well, you know that that felt a
little better, cause I don't,you know, I don't teach any of
them.
And then the high school foundout and they were doing a
sendoff for Slater on that nextday and Slater's like come on,
ms Davis, you know let's do thisschool and um, so I did and
that's what the I know you were,I know you were a nervous wreck
(12:31):
about it.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
I did, and that's what the audio is.
I know you were a nervous wreckabout it.
I was.
Which one were you more nervousabout?
The first one at the middleschool or the one with the high
school, where all your studentsare?
Speaker 1 (12:39):
Yes, the one with the high school.
But what's so powerful is andI'll post one of the videos or
two of the videos on our website, but on the huge screen behind
us was one of Carter videos, ortwo of the videos on our on our
website, but, um, on the hugescreen behind us was one of
Carter's senior pictures, and sowhile we were singing this, I
mean, kids were crying, teacherswere crying, um, and it was
(13:03):
just pure joy for me to get tosing with Slater.
And even on the parts wherewe're singing in uniform unison,
it's amazing, you can hardlytell our voices apart.
They just blend together sowell.
So that was so much fun.
But the second I finished, Ipractically ran off the stage
(13:24):
because I was shaking and I knewI was just going to start
bawling.
I just had to get off stagequickly, because it's exactly
what you said.
It's both joy and such deepsorrow, all at the exact same
time.
Speaker 2 (13:37):
All at the exact same time, which is physically
exhausting.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
Yes, absolutely, but I wouldn't change it.
I wouldn't change it for theworld.
It's amazing.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
No, it's just, we have to keep going.
Yeah, and and the thing is, isthat it's it's?
It's creating so much goodnessout there.
You know, this is goodness forSweet Slater to be able to
create art music, you know, andlaunch his career yes, so to
speak, and he's go ahead.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
No, and and he was so sweet that night.
And they go ahead, no, and, andhe was so sweet that night, you
know he was asking, you knowhe's so just thoughtful all
their, their family is.
And he was right, yes, and hewas asking me and my husband
just exactly what you asked howare you really feeling about all
(14:25):
this?
My husband was saying it's.
You know he's a lot moreprivate than I am and that this
has been a really hard thing forhim.
And Slater says you give me theword and I'm shutting this
whole thing down.
And he sincerely means it.
And I said, slater, I don'tthink we can shut this down.
He goes oh, yes, yes, we can.
(14:48):
Here he is in the midst of justall this great attention and so
forth, and he sincerely meansit, and he says it every time
we're together, that he never,you know, wants to have it
overshadow, that this is inCarter's memory and you know
it's just incredible.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
So it's an honor, it is in Connor's memory and it's
in honor of you too and therelationship and the goodness
that you pour into your students.
I mean normal people, meanpeople, ungrateful people don't
have that connection withsomeone else to be able to have
(15:32):
something so beautiful come outof it, and that's a testament to
you and it is a testament ofyou know how you keep going and
showing that there is goodnessin the world, even though such a
horrific, horrific eventhappened.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
Well, and what I said to the students in the middle
school because they didn't knowthe story of Carter and so forth
, and I just said that this song, for me, is so important
because every single humancarries grief and we all,
whether we've lost somebody youknow to death or it's just
they're not no longer in ourlife we're constantly seeking
(16:17):
those little traces andconnections to the people that
we love and, if we can, if thisbrings that conversation you
know into the world that griefis part of all of our lives and
it's okay to share it and totalk about it and to feel both
joy and sorrow, right.
Speaker 2 (16:39):
Well, and to kind of change the tone a little bit,
there's people everywhere thathas grief, that live in grief
day in and day out, and that'ssomething that us with Warrior
Moms, we find comfort in havingour community that share the
same grief of child loss.
Yes, we're learning.
(17:00):
We knew this before.
We're not learning it.
It's not new information thatthere are people out there that
have lost children, that don'thave connections to someone else
to help them get out of bedevery day.
They think that it's going to belike this forever.
They're going to be sad for therest of their lives and there
(17:21):
is no joy.
And I love the fact that it'sgiving I don't want to say us
and Avenue, but it is giving asight into what a warrior mom
really is.
Yeah, and that it's becausewe've had people because you
(17:42):
were on American Idol andbecause of Carter story and
because of Slater honoringCarter and you, it's opened up
doors to women all over Americathat are reaching out saying I
have lost my child.
You know, I lost my child twomonths ago.
I lost my child three years ago.
(18:03):
I want to start a warrior mom'sgroup here in my town, and that
, to me, is God putting hishands right in there and
stirring it all up and bringinggood.
Yes, and it's good In adifferent way that was not
expected.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
Right and I think that has been such a powerful
lesson.
I know, amy, you and I feel itso much is just, you know you
get a little tug to do something, whether it's somebody's asked
you, um, you know, just likewhen I put out there, hey, if
anybody wants to do the podcast,um, and you just jumped in
Right and um, it's that abilityto just lean in and allow God to
(18:46):
use you and and move through usand we're, you know, we didn't
know what, what we were doing,we didn't know how to plug in a
microphone, michelle, we didn'tknow how to turn on the
soundboard, I mean.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
But that's life, and that's the life of grief is you
just put one foot in front ofthe other and you just go.
And that's what I try to tellpeople.
You know some people you knowthis is a grand gesture of you
know a song written about yourchild and you get to share him
on a huge stage, but that itdoesn't have to be that grand.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
No, and it just be speaking your child's name to
someone and it's amazing because, yes, we've heard from moms,
but I have heard from dads.
I got this incredible emaillast week from a dad who had
lost his son just seven monthsago and just how this song
(19:41):
touched him and then otherpeople who it hasn't been a
child, it's been a mother, it'sbeen a father and a sibling, and
I just love that.
We're getting to talk aboutgrief and um, and and also the
honest part that you do have todo the work and you do have to
(20:01):
lean in, and and time does notheal.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
Time does not heal all wounds.
Time does not heal it.
You have to put the effort into make yourself get out of bed
yes, and you know.
Or to put the laundry in thedryer?
Speaker 1 (20:20):
Yeah, some days you have to put yourself in bed so
that you then can do the laundrythe next day, or whatever it is
.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
Exactly and figuring it out.
That's the hard part, but it isworth it.
Yes, yeah, and our it out,that's the hard part, but it is
worth it.
Yes, and our kids were worth itAll this grief, our kids were
still worth every minute we hadwith them.
Well maybe not every singleminute.
Some of them were not greatbecause we both had teenagers at
some point, but it is, theywere worth every single breath.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
Yes, that's so true.
Yes.
Speaker 2 (20:55):
And I will continue to look for traces of Alec and
you'll continue to look fortraces of Carter, and I want our
listeners to listen for that.
Speaker 1 (21:02):
Yes, and I'll post Traces if you do at yes, I will
post some of these videos on mybio page on our warriormomsme
website and so you can find thatthere, and the poem is on there
(21:22):
as well and so you can readthat and, yeah, it's just a
little treasure for me, for sure, and we are just so grateful
for the interest in Warrior Momsand our podcast, and Amy and I
are just so humbled by all ofyou listeners.
Speaker 2 (21:41):
Yes, we are.
Thank you all for listening andfor coming back every week and
listening to more.
Yeah, until next time.
Until next time.
Thank you guys, bye.
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