May 14, 2024 • 48 mins
To say we are honored to witness such joy and bravery is an understatement. Emily McHenry, you amaze us. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and joy.
When Emily McHenry speaks about her brother Jamie, you can hear the love and loss in every word. Our heartfelt conversation with Emily reveals the poignant journey of a sibling's bond tested by the untimely passing of her brother. We travel through Emily's treasured memories, the laughter, and the tears, delving into how her family's love crafted a foundation of resilience amid their profound loss. The narrative of Jamie's life and his lasting influence on Emily's own path, including her pursuit of lacrosse and joy, creates a vivid backdrop for this episode.
As Emily recounts the aftermath of Jamie's death, we uncover the power of vulnerability and community in the healing process. We touch on the remarkable way parents face their grief while supporting their children, and Emily's admiration for her own parents' strength in such times. Her experiences underscore the importance of communal support, like the Jamie's Rocketshot 5k, which serves not just as a tribute but as a way to honor Jamie. This conversation is a testament to the ways in which a community can wrap its arms around those who are mourning, offering a shared strength that endures.
The episode concludes with a compassionate look at the nuances of grieving, as Emily shares how embracing every emotion has been crucial to her journey. We explore her use of journaling as a therapeutic outlet, the importance of creating new traditions to honor Jamie, and the ongoing quest to find balance between joy and sorrow. By sharing her story, Emily offers insights and guidance to anyone navigating grief, illustrating how personal growth and the discovery of individual coping strategies are possible even in the darkest of times. Join us for this touching tribute and learn how celebrating memories can lead us towards healing and hope.
"Dream Bird" by Jonny Easton
Thank you for listening to Warrior Moms podcast. It is an honor to share about our beloved children gone too soon, and we hope by telling of our loss, it may help someone in their grief journey. Please note that we are not medical professionals and encourage those listening to seek help from mental health professionals.
We'd love to hear from our followers!
Website: https://www.warriormoms.me/
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With love,
Warrior Moms Amy & Michele
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Well, welcome to Warrior Moms.
We're so glad you're here thismorning.
I am Michelle.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
And I'm Amy and this is a segment that I've been
antsy to get to, just as a mommyself we have got a sibling of
one of our angels.
We have Emily McHenry.
He was Jamie McHenry's sister,younger sister, and we heard
(00:31):
Christine the mom a few weeksago.
Correct, michelle?
Yes, yes, emily, tell us, tellus who you are.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
Hey everybody, my name is Emily McHenry.
I am a senior at GeorgiaSouthern University.
I have one semester left, soI'm almost done.
The light's at the end of thetunnel and I'm excited.
So, yeah, I'm really happy tobe here today.
Thanks for asking me to be here.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
I feel like we're going to grill you with all
sorts of questions.
As moms, you know talking tosomeone, so you know.
So beware.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
But we're so glad that you're here and you know
it's a hard topic, but yet it'sa topic that you know.
You're, I know, as you said,you're so proud to talk about
Jamie and you're open about justyour own grief journey and
we're so glad for that.
So, thank you.
Tell us about you and yourgoofy brother.
(01:34):
What was Jamie like?
He?
Speaker 3 (01:38):
was just like that cooler older brother.
You know that every littlesister admires and you know
everything he did in my eyes wasjust like the coolest thing
ever.
He played lacrosse.
So I wanted to play lacrosselike yeah everything he did, I
was like, oh my gosh, he is socool, I want to be exactly like
him and I think he would kind ofget annoyed by that a little
(02:01):
bit, just like me, his littlesister copying every little
thing he did.
Yeah, he was just, you know, socool like that.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
So did he pick on you ?
Speaker 3 (02:11):
let's be honest, oh my gosh so many times, yeah, so
many times.
A lot of our conversations werejust arguing because we both
thought we were right and halfthe time the other two of us
were right.
What was the age differencebetween y'all?
He was 13.
I was 11.
So we were, like you know, twoyears apart.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh my gosh, I love it when youthink about some of that.
You know, like cool brother,what's a favorite memory you
think when you think of Jamie?
Speaker 3 (02:52):
where's your mind go to?
Definitely lacrosse.
So he was a big athlete allaround.
He played basketball, he playedfootball, you know, but he
started playing lacrosse and hewas really good.
He was just a huge stud at it.
And one of my favorite memories, looking back at it, is him
kind of teaching me how to playlacrosse.
Like I said, I wanted to beexactly like him.
So I was like, yeah, teach mehow to play lacrosse.
(03:14):
And so we would be out in ourdriveway every day and he'd be
teaching me the fundamentals.
He'd be so patient, like thiswas one of the times neither of
us were yelling at each otherbecause we, we he was actually
like really good, like mentorand coach.
So and then I went on to playlacrosse even after Jamie passed
away for 13 years.
(03:34):
So I I really do owe it all tohim.
He taught me everything Ilearned.
I love it so much.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
Well, um, let's talk about that that.
So Jamie was 13 and you were 11, you said when Jamie passed so
what grade were you, Emily, at11?
Speaker 3 (03:55):
I was in fifth grade.
Fifth grade.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
And that's kind of that quintessential grade where
you're ending sort of theelementary, what's kind of that?
You know, quintessential gradewhere you're ending, sort of the
elementary.
You're getting ready for, youknow, the next step of middle
school.
Did your middle school start insixth grade?
Yes, it did, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
And were you going into fifth grade or going into
sixth grade?
I was going in the spring.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
I was ending fifth grade.
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (04:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
So take us back, if you don't mind, to that spring
break time.
Speaker 3 (04:32):
Okay, so what you remember.
Speaker 2 (04:35):
Yeah, that's what you remember.
Speaker 3 (04:37):
Yeah.
So you know, the brain kind ofhas a funny way of going into
self-defense mode by blockingout a lot of those memories or
blurring them because they wereso traumatic.
But yeah, I remember, um, youknow, jamie had went on a spring
break trip with one of hisclose friends and their family
(04:59):
and me, my mom and my dad wewent to I think it was north
carolina or tennessee, I don'treally.
We went to I think it was NorthCarolina or Tennessee, I don't
really remember.
We went for like a mountainweekend.
We did hiking, did golf, likeall that fun stuff.
And I remember the day theaccident happened.
I do remember it was arounddinnertime, maybe a little bit
(05:22):
after dinnertime.
It was around dinner time,maybe a little bit after dinner
time and my dad got a call fromthe family that Jamie was with
and delivering.
You know the news of theaccident and this is kind of
where it's like a blur toremember.
But I remember you obviously alot of crying.
(05:44):
You know me and my family wereholding each other and and then
I remember I I genuinely do notremember how like the ride home
at all, I cannot remember asecond of that, but I remember
getting home and but yeah,that's it's.
It's so weird when I thinkabout it because you would think
such a big day like that, youwould remember everything, but
(06:06):
because it was so awful, yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
Well and.
I think you're right thateverything that we've read,
certainly, exactly as you say,our brain protects us, yeah, and
, you know, allows us kind ofjust these little moments to.
You know that we have to sortthrough, but yet it is so that
(06:33):
we can get to the next momentand to the next moment, you know
, and so it somehow softensthose memories in some ways.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
Yeah, I totally agree , and I think a lot of it also
had to do with being so young.
Had to do with being so youngand I almost think at my age I
didn't really understand whatlike was happening, why it was
happening.
You know, when you're 11, youdon't really understand why or
what everything is happening.
So I don't, I don't know if itwas like a self-protection thing
(07:01):
, like, but it's also part ofthe grieving process.
Is denial, like being like thisisn't actually happening.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
Yeah, well, when you didn't see it when you weren't
there and you weren'tvisualizing, you know, because
11 you're pretty much this iswhat's real and that's what's
not.
Yeah, yeah, exactly, you knowyeah, did you?
Speaker 1 (07:24):
do you remember?
Did you go back to school rightaway?
Did you stay home for a bit?
Speaker 3 (07:31):
So so I did not go back to school right away.
I think I waited about twoweeks and I just I remember,
like I again, I think it's thebrain's way of protecting
ourselves.
But up until the end of thatyear 2013, when it happened, a
(07:55):
lot of it is just like a blur,like you said, trying to get to
the next part, the next moment.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
Yeah, exactly part of the next moment.
Yeah, exactly yeah.
Was there something during thattime period that kind of gave
you comfort?
You know that I rememberreading in those first couple of
days.
It was like give your childrenroutine, get them back to
routine as fast as possible.
Was there something youremember that it was like oh,
I'm glad that I get to do X,that I'm back doing this.
Speaker 3 (08:32):
So I was super fortunate or my family, we're
super fortunate to have such anamazing community around us, so
many great friends and family.
That would do anything for us.
And I remember some of myreally close friends.
They were just amazing becausethey didn't close friends.
They like they were justamazing because they didn't that
I also, still at such a youngage, my friends being this
mature, they would invite me tolike dinner and they wouldn't
(08:54):
really ask any questions aboutwhat happened, but they would
just try and get back intonormalcy, like talk about
lacrosse and talk about school.
Yeah, and I I remember I waslike I've never been more
thankful and I look back at itnow how mature these you know my
friends are, who I'm stillfriends with today, to be able
(09:15):
to recognize like hey, don't,you know, push any limits with
asking questions about Jamie orthe details or how I'm feeling
and just getting me out of thehouse and I was so thankful.
And then lacrosse is like a hugepart of my life and being able
(09:36):
to, even if it was just for anhour during the game, just leave
everything out on the fieldlike play and have your mind in
a different world.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
Right, exactly, you were in your own world, that you
didn't have to worry aboutwhatever was out there.
Right, exactly, exactly yeah wehave that.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
One of the things that I know a lot of moms talk
about and worry about is just,you know, we worry that.
You know that we change, thatwe lose a piece of the mom that
we were before and that we worryfor that.
You know, like for Greta, Igrieve for that, gosh, I wish I
(10:16):
could get back to you know how Iwas before.
We lost Carter and yet you know, I think Greta feels like she's
got a great life and she's gota great childhood.
When you think back about justyour mom and dad's grief, are
there moments that you reallyremember and things that you
(10:37):
worried about or that you wantedto do for them during those
kind of first couple years.
Speaker 3 (10:43):
I definitely remember thinking how kind of different,
or maybe even a little bitweird it was to like see my
parents let down their guard alittle bit.
You know, be vulnerable anddeal with coping and you know,
see, you don't really growing upI never really saw my parents
(11:05):
cry.
I feel like that's kind of likea thing that a lot of children
they don't really ever see theirparents cry that much and I
remember, you know, seeing myparents go through it and I
going through this at such ayoung age.
I was forced to grow up andmature very early on and I
(11:26):
realized, like you know, myparents have this awful
situation but they're stillproviding for me and caring for
me and loving me and I don'tknow.
I realized then I was like theyare going through this hell of
a situation with losing one oftheir kids, but they went the
(11:47):
extra mile to show me love, saylike hey, you know we still love
you, we still care about you.
We know we're talking aboutJamie a lot.
We know we're, you know.
So I just remember I'mfortunate with my parents
because they went out of theirway to show that they're here
(12:07):
for me, even though they're alsogoing through it Right.
So I think that was like a hugething.
I really think my family gotreally close because of it.
In the weirdest way it was likea bonding for lack of a better
word a bonding situation.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Yeah, that's a great way to explain it.
You now have a different bondwith your parents that you would
not have had.
You still would have had a bondwith your parents, yeah, but
you definitely have a differentbond now than you would have.
Jamie, we're still here, right?
Speaker 3 (12:43):
And I think another big thing that my parents did
that helped a lot is I don'treally know how to phrase it I
guess they would never beataround the bush Like they would
never be afraid they're not thattype.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
Right, right, exactly .
Your mom's not going to beataround any bush, she's going to
beat straight through it.
Speaker 3 (13:06):
They were, but they wouldn't be afraid.
They would want to talk aboutmemories and talk about Jamie.
They wouldn't ever try, and Idon't know how to say it.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
They're not going to hold back.
Speaker 3 (13:20):
Right, they wanted to embrace all this.
They're not going to tiptoearound the issue.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
They're not going to tiptoe around the subject.
It is there, this is the way itis, and this is the way it's
going to be, exactly which Ilove.
Speaker 3 (13:30):
Yeah, and it really has helped me like be able to be
so open about Jamie and whathappened.
It's like now I can fully talkabout it and remember all the
memories and not-.
Speaker 2 (13:42):
Do you think that it's helped you open up about
other things in your life withyour parents?
Speaker 3 (13:49):
yes, yeah, definitely yes.
Um, just being more vulnerable,I always kind of even after
Jamie, I was always trying to belike cool, you know not really
show my parents, my emotions orwhatever, but I mean my parents.
They are two of the strongest.
They are the strongest people Iknow.
(14:10):
They've been through hell andback with this and I have
nothing but utmost respect forthem and how they handled it
with me.
You know they were stillraising me.
I was only 11 years old, Right?
Speaker 2 (14:23):
You were just entering the worst years of a
parent and a teenager.
You were going into yourteenage years, that's all.
Speaker 3 (14:30):
Yes, exactly, and they are.
Just I don't know.
I would never admit it to mymom, because you guys know my
mom she would, she would, butshe's really.
She's handled this whole thingwith just class and grace.
I have so much respect for bothof them.
I'm really thankful.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
I love that and one of the things I wanted to ask
you about that I think you knowyour mom was so instrumental is
you know Jamie's rocket shopthat mom and dad put together.
What was you know?
So explain, I guess, just whatthat was.
And then how did that help you,or how was it?
(15:13):
You know, was that part kind ofhard or was it great for you
Talk about that a little.
Speaker 3 (15:20):
I saw the rocket shot and all of the other things we
did as amazing Like I justreally.
This might sound bad, but Ididn't find it very hard to do
because I knew that that's whatJamie would want us to do is
like find ways to get back tothe community or no?
(15:42):
Yeah, yeah, and so the rocketshot.
It's a 5k that we do every year.
Unfortunately, I've not beenable to go for the past four
years because of college.
But right, I you know we.
It's been going on for um 11years now and it is just the
most up like gives me the mostcomfort and peace.
(16:06):
Knowing my community like, evenafter all these years, sits
behind me and my family withJamie, and still wants to.
Speaker 1 (16:15):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (16:16):
Like show up and do things for him.
I just like I get so like Ilike choke up thinking about it.
Yeah, I'm so thankful.
I like choke up thinking aboutit because I'm so thankful, like
my best friends I may all myfriends who went to different
colleges.
They still come to the rocketshots like something.
No matter where everybody iswho was there during the
accident, no matter whereeverybody is at that point in
(16:38):
their lives, they'll always finda way to come.
And I just find so much likelove and support from that, you
know, and it's just really acool thing just seeing all the
different types of people comeout On top of the Rocket Shot.
We also have a lacrosse teamcalled Team 8.
It's a memorial team in Jamie'sname and everybody from Team 8
(17:04):
comes out to the rocket shotEveryone from my high school,
everyone from the community.
It's just so cool seeing, afterall these years, people still
showing up and showing theirlove for my family.
So I'm so thankful for it.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
I went this year and it's exactly as you say and it's
a huge showing of people andjust the way you are, emily, and
you know knowing your mom anddad, it's exactly it's honoring
Jamie and then it's joyful.
You know there's a band thatplays along the way.
You know as you're walking orrunning, you know people carry
(17:41):
like a boom box and you knowwalking and yeah, it's just, it
was a lot of fun and I think,just you know, not knowing Jamie
, but being there, you get asense of that, that love and
passion for one another, andit's exactly what you say.
Speaker 3 (17:59):
Yeah.
I think it's one of the likelights that came out of a really
dark time.
It really has, I think, changedour lives.
Obviously, after Jamie'saccident it just again I'm
beating the dead horse with this, but we have such a great
(18:20):
community, really do.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
I'm forever thankful to my community so well and what
would you say, you know, if youhad to give advice to um
someone that's you know recentlylost somebody?
What would you say to thecommunity your friends,
especially friends your age Iknow you said your friends were
so good what would be someadvice you might give?
Speaker 3 (18:54):
I think everybody's situation's different, but to
know that you're not alone evenif you feel like you are, you're
never alone.
There's always people like thewarrior moms.
There's always people like thewarrior moms like you guys.
There's always clubs.
I joined when I was 11.
When it happened, my mom put mein this club called Kate's Club
(19:20):
and it was this little programbased out of Atlanta and they
you know, it's all differentkids that age that have lost a
family member, being a parent ora sibling, and you just can
talk freely in a safe space withpeople who have been in your
situation.
So I think my advice for peoplewho are going through something
(19:41):
like this is it's hard.
It's never not going to be hard.
I think the biggest thing is tofind, figure out how you can
get back to some sort ofnormalcy.
That's going to be your savinggrace is finding ways to cope,
and you know, I don't know it'sit's hard.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
It really is.
And, emily, when you would seeyour parents get upset, how did
you feel Like?
And did you feel like youneeded to take care of them?
Or, or you know like, causethat's something that I'm always
like, I'm conscious of, when Iget upset around Layla, cause
she doesn't feel like she needsto take care of me, but I'm the
mom I'm supposed to take care ofher, you know, it's that kind
(20:26):
of weird.
Speaker 3 (20:29):
I think honestly.
At first it was weird, it washard being like, oh my gosh, my
parents you know my two pillarsof support and foundation
they're crying, they're upset.
What am I supposed to do?
Like I almost felt helpless.
But as time went on I realizedit was good that they were
(20:51):
sharing that side with me, thatthey were saying, hey, it's okay
to cry about it, it's okay tobe upset.
Um, but I mean you do as, likea, as a child, you feel like you
need to take care of yourparents, but I mean there's no
looking back.
I'm thankful for them beingable to express those emotions
(21:13):
with me, because it taught methat I can be sad too.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
You know, yeah, yeah, that makes sense, and it is
hard and this is sad, but we canpersevere and put one foot in
front of the other and we can dojoyous things, like the rocket
shot, and find joy in it.
Yeah, it's for a sad reason.
This is joyful and it is.
It brings joy to you and thewhole community basically, which
is great, right.
Speaker 3 (21:38):
And so I remember, right after it happened, our
front door was like a revolvingdoor of people just coming to
express their condolences andgive us food and stuff, whatever
.
I remember seeing my parentsand their interactions with
these people and they seemed sadbut they were kind of, you know
(22:03):
, getting through it, puttingone foot in front of the other,
and I was like me, as an 11 yearold, looking at them, I'm like
they don't even seem sad.
But then when I did see themand you know, when everybody was
gone, when it was just us seethem get emotional, I was like
okay, they just, you know,they're putting up a little bit
(22:23):
of a front just so they can getthrough the day.
But they are sad and that mademe in the weirdest way.
It made me feel better becauseit gave you comfort because you
were so sad.
Right, exactly, and I didn'twant to feel like I had to, you
know, hold all those emotions in.
Yeah, and I was so thankfulbecause when I would see my
parents get upset, I didn't feelI felt comfortable enough to
(22:47):
like talk with them.
And you know we would talk andwe would share stories and just
reminisce, and it's hard andit's sad and there was a lot of
tears and a lot of pain, butit's, I think it's necessary to
feel all those feelings,especially with your family,
because they are always going tobe in your corner in the same
(23:16):
situation that you are in, andit just was very helpful being
able to feel those feelings andshare all the memories and, you
know, feel all of that?
Speaker 2 (23:23):
Yeah, yeah, exactly, yeah.
So sometimes I think thatsiblings could feel like they
were lost in the shadow of theirdeceased sibling.
Do you, I mean?
And I don't know that you'veever felt that way, but I can
totally see how that can happena lot of times.
Yeah, go ahead.
(23:47):
Sorry, no, I was just going tosay like how would you recommend
or like dealing with that ifsomebody was feeling that way,
or if the parents are like gosh,I feel like I talk about Jamie
all the time and we need to talkabout your.
Mom is great at doing thebalance.
You know, I feel like I don'tknow how you feel, but I feel
like she's great at doing thebalance.
I feel like Michelle and I do agood job, but I do feel like
(24:09):
there are some people thatprobably have a hard time with
that.
Speaker 3 (24:13):
Right, I think my parents, like I was saying, they
kind of went the extra mile toaddress the fact that it would
be like, hey, I know we'retalking a lot about Jamie, but
we still see you, we're stillhere with you, we love you.
We want you to feel important,yeah, you know to feel important
.
Yeah, and even though we'regoing through this time, we, we
(24:34):
want you to know that we still,yeah, we love you at your events
.
Speaker 2 (24:41):
They would go to your lacrosse.
Well, I think there's some momsthat can't even get up and go
to their.
Yeah, well, crossgate, you know.
Speaker 1 (24:50):
So, right, well, it sounds like they really
verbalized all these things Likehere's what we're feeling,
here's what we want you tonotice and understand, and just
putting voice to what they weredoing.
Speaker 3 (25:05):
I think communication is a huge thing and, like I,
was only 11.
So, and I think it's hard ifthe sibling is younger, but just
being straight up saying likeyou said, communication, like
just saying, hey, we know we'retalking about Jamie a lot.
(25:27):
What do you feel?
Asking how they feel, yeah,getting them like to talk about
it, I remember my mom wouldalways be like what do you feel?
Like what?
Why are you sad?
Like asking all the questionslike that maybe are a little
uncomfortable, but just beingable to verbalize it as an 11
(25:48):
year old, like it made me feelvery valid most 11 year olds
can't verbalize any of that.
Speaker 1 (26:03):
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
But I just remember Did youhave to like in your later teens
, did you revisit that in awhole?
Nother way, like.
I remember one counselor youknow Greta was eight when we
lost Carter, but one counselorsaid when she's older she's
going to revisit this, she'sgoing to have to walk through
that accident in now sort of amore adult way.
(26:23):
Do you have that experience?
Speaker 3 (26:27):
I do, but I feel like the worst feelings I felt were
when it happened and then movingforward just because my parents
handled it in such a respectfuland mature way for me it wasn't
as hard as the first time,wasn't like as hard as the first
(26:51):
time, like obviously, growingup, you know, when I was in high
school, I, I would always thinkabout it, you know, playing
lacrosse, just everythingreminded me of it.
But we just had again such agreat like community.
Speaker 2 (27:07):
I had such great parents like getting me through
it letting me feel all thesadness and letting me cope at
11, not telling me to suck it upand just right, yeah, or or to
like, just.
Speaker 3 (27:22):
I feel like I remember when I was in kids club
, I was talking with some otherkids who have lost siblings and
their parents would like tellthem to distract themselves from
like their feelings and notaddress them, and I was like, I
think, looking back now, I'mvery thankful for my parents to
(27:43):
do it right away.
You know, I mean, it's hard andI can see, as a parent, you
could want to be like shelteringyour kid, a little bit, like
protecting them from the bad oflike yes, this happened to you,
but I think, honestly, the bestway to do it is be honest, feel
(28:03):
and communicate.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:05):
And that's where I agree, like I think that because
of feeling the feels andallowing themselves to feel the
feels in front of you and withyou and all of you together, I
think that is so healthy Becauseit does allow your mom to get
off the couch and go to thegames and cut up with you and
all that kind of stuff, where ifyou just hold those feelings in
(28:27):
all the time, it makes youbitter and angry at least for me
, and that's what I see, and Ithink y'all have done a
wonderful job and I think thefact that your mom how do you
feel about the fact that yourmom has walked through that
before with her brother?
Speaker 3 (28:43):
I know I always like think about it's just so weird,
like that's such a weird thingto grasp.
You know she went through it soweird, like that's such a weird
thing to grasp, you know.
Yeah, she went through it.
My grandmother, her mom wentthrough it like and then we had
to go through it like it's justweird.
Yeah, always such a weird thingto think about, but really my
mom is the strongest person everand anybody who's met my mom.
(29:07):
She's so lively, she's so fullof life she is always the life
of the party.
Yes, I think a lot of her beingthat way is because she wants
to live through and for Jamie.
Living life, being positive,being kind.
(29:28):
She's really the epitome of astrong woman who's seen it all,
and I'm just so proud of her andmy dad both of them well she
leads us the world so she leadsus, she is a true leader to us,
to show us that you can makeevery day matter.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
you know, enjoy every day, and joy and sorrow does
coexist.
Right, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (29:57):
Exactly yes, when you , when you went to college, um,
how did you you know when you'retalking about your family, did
you?
Um, do you have sort of anystrategies or advice for you
know the other siblings?
Like, how do you talk aboutthis with new friends?
It?
Speaker 3 (30:16):
is awkward and it you don't think it's going to come
up in conversations.
Because when I went to college,you know I kind of had the
backbone of this community andeverybody kind of knew what
happened.
And then when I went off tocollege knew, yeah, and it is
awkward, you know you, you getin conversations with your
(30:38):
friends about their families andthen they turn to you they're
like oh so, like, do you haveany brothers or sisters?
And at first, if I didn't feelat first I was not comfortable
talking yeah, so freely about it, I would get very choked up
about sharing what happened withJamie.
Now as I'm a little bit older, Ican freely talk about it.
Speaker 2 (31:00):
Experience.
You've had more experience withit, yeah.
Speaker 3 (31:04):
So honestly and I feel like a lot of people who
have gone through this probablyrelate when people would ask me
if I had any siblings, I wouldjust be like, no, I'm an only
child, just don't want to talkabout it.
But now, because I am socomfortable and I want people to
know Jamie's story and myfamily's story, I do like I feel
very comfortable and like I'mhappy to talk about it.
(31:26):
But my biggest piece of adviceis when you, when you're ready
to share with people, you'llknow.
Speaker 1 (31:36):
if you don't feel comfortable with people, just
you don't have to have to shareyou know yeah yeah and I think
that's so freeing to hearbecause, um, you know, I think
that, especially from a siblingside of it, and there isn't any
right way to do this griefjourney.
Speaker 2 (31:58):
And.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
I love how you phrased.
Like your mom, like you'reliving through this might be
that you're just going to sayyou're an only child, and then
other days you can say, no, Ihave a brother and he's just not
with us anymore.
Speaker 3 (32:21):
I remember feeling that I don't want people to when
I tell them this.
I don't want people to feel bador treat me a certain way,
because you know that's just howI felt.
I was like, oh God, I don'twant people to be like, oh,
she's a, you know, she's sad,she lost her brother.
Speaker 1 (32:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (32:39):
But, like you said, you know, if you're not feeling
like you want to say, you don'thave to tell anybody.
You can just I mean people whoyou want to know.
That's your decision, you know.
Speaker 1 (32:56):
Yeah, yeah, and yeah, people who you want to know,
that's your decision, you know,yeah, yeah, and you'll find your
, you'll find your time, right,right, I mean it'll, it'll come
when it needs to come yes,exactly exactly, yeah, what?
What are some of the ways?
I mean, obviously you you havethe rocket shot, um, and you
have, you know, team eight, butwhat are some like other ways
that you just in your maybeday-to-day life, that you
(33:16):
celebrate your brother?
Speaker 3 (33:18):
Um, I, I'm, I, I'm like my mom, I hate to say it
she she's going to hold me tothat.
But as I've grown older, I'mlike, oh my God, I am my mom,
I'm just, I like to be kind.
As I've grown older, I'm like,oh my god, I am my mom, I'm just
.
I like to be kind, I like topay it forward when I can help
(33:38):
people who need help, I like totalk to everybody, even if it's
a passing stranger I'll nevermeet again.
I just like to, you know, livelife every day with the most
amount of joy and happiness as Ican, because I know what I've
gone through.
(33:59):
I know that I've gone throughhell with losing a brother, my
family too.
And now, moving forward, I thinkI owe it to myself to choose to
be joyful because, like yousaid, joyful and sorrow can
coexist and it never really getseasier, but it definitely.
(34:20):
You can learn how to be happyand find the little things that
remind you of the people youlost.
Instead of choosing to be sadabout little reminders, I choose
to say like hey, you know he'swith me every day.
I wear my Live for Jamiebracelet every day, and a new
(34:42):
tradition that I've recentlyestablished in my life is, every
year on Jamie's passing date,me and all my friends.
You know this was in college,so me and all my friends would
release balloons.
Um, and it was.
It's just.
I think it was a really nicething to have to.
(35:03):
You know, remember, take thetime to.
Speaker 1 (35:07):
Really, I don't know it was just Well and with your
new friends and your new space.
You know, and that was yourcommunity that you created.
You know that you did that.
Speaker 3 (35:19):
Yes, yeah, and it's just very nice, like you said, I
mean, it was all my new friends, so they don't know, they never
met my brother, they never metmy family, but they still show
up to support and I just I'vebeen so blessed and lucky to
have the people I have in mylife, just constant support,
even my college friends, and soI will forever be thankful for.
Speaker 2 (35:42):
But you put that out there, emily.
You put that out there andyou're allowing people to come
in your world and celebrate him.
Yeah, I mean, it's how youpresent yourself.
I think a lot in the wholesituation of yeah, this sucks,
yeah, but I have joy that helived, I have joy that he was my
(36:02):
brother and you know it welland I love that you say, and you
, you do this for yourself rightDeserve to be happy.
Speaker 1 (36:12):
I mean, what, what a gift for a young woman to know
that.
I mean, it's just extraordinary.
I just I am listening.
Speaker 2 (36:22):
I honor you with a cape.
Speaker 3 (36:26):
Yes, you are a warrior sister.
I'm so thankful, you know, foreverything that's happened.
Speaker 2 (36:37):
I'm going to change the subject for a minute.
So was it your freshman orsophomore year?
You lost a friend at GeorgiaSouthern.
Speaker 3 (36:44):
Yes, so my freshman year, one of my close friends
named Cole Cooey.
He got also in a car accidentand he passed away and that was
actually like when you askedabout like reliving it as
growing up, that was a huge likeweird way Back to the day,
(37:11):
didn't it?
Yes, Because I think, because Iwas older, you know, I was 20
when Cole died.
I think just living that,grieving Cole and but then also
being like this is what it wouldhave been like if I was 20 when
Jamie died.
You know, like it was reallyweird, the whole, the feelings I
(37:34):
felt.
It was just like oh, like, oh,my God, you know.
Reliving it yeah, yeah.
Reliving it, but yet differentit was just yeah, and I remember
calling my mom and I'm liketold her what happened and I'm
like this is sad, like I'm sadabout jamie, I'm sad about cole,
(37:54):
like why, why is why?
Now am I getting sad aboutjamie?
When cole just died, you know,like I felt like conflicted.
I was like I should be sadabout Cole, but then I'm like
Also sad.
Speaker 2 (38:07):
Yeah, yeah, I always feel selfish.
Anytime we lose somebody elsethat was associated with Alec or
something like that, I feelguilty because I'm more.
I'm sad for I'm sad about Alec,yeah, my son, you know.
Yes, I'm sad about them, butI'm sad about you know.
It does it brings all of thatemotion.
Yeah, you said I feel selfishfor being sad about me, but I'm,
(38:29):
you know, yes, it is, but itdoes.
It resurfaces those emotionsand it will.
Speaker 3 (38:35):
It'll continue to do that, right, I think grief is
the weirdest journey somebodyhas to go through.
Like it'll be the most randomthings that remind you of the
person you lost and like I'll belike walking on my college
campus and I'll see something sorandom could could have nothing
(38:56):
to do with, like Jamie, yeah,but for whatever reason, I'm
like, oh my God, like I'm sad,but I think it's a good thing to
feel that still now I'm almost23 years old.
That's crazy.
You're so old, but it's just sonice to have people like you
(39:20):
guys.
And you know, for people who Iknow have been through it, that
can relate, you know.
Speaker 1 (39:27):
Yeah, what do you do on those those sad days?
What do you do to help yourselfget to finding joy again?
Speaker 3 (39:36):
I just, I'm a very firm believer in feeling all the
feelings.
So when I'm sad, I I allowmyself to be sad, I allow myself
to look through pictures andremember and a huge thing that
I've recently started doing.
I didn't do this when I wasyounger, but in college I've
(39:57):
started just writing likejournaling, and I know that's
kind of like a very cliche pieceof advice, but-.
Speaker 2 (40:04):
No, it's just amazing yeah, and what else?
Speaker 3 (40:08):
when I'm sad feeling sad about Jamie, but I don't
really know why I'm feeling sadI set a timer on my phone for
five minutes and I just writeanything that I'm comes to my
mind and it's been the mostfreeing, like, yeah, I don't
know, it's very, it's such agreat fight out of here where
(40:29):
it's all jumbled up, yeah, andthen it just gets it out because
I don't know what do you thinkthe timer does for you?
I love that I think it's justbecause I often find myself and
I'm feeling sad about Jamie, butI don't know why Just setting a
timer and being like, okay,this five minutes, seven minutes
(40:51):
, eight minutes I'm going todevote to trying to put my
feelings into words and it'sjust, it's helped, and I'll be
like, bawling, crying, writing,but like, for those five minutes
I allow myself to do it andthen, when that timer goes off,
get myself together and I'm likethat was like so freeing and
(41:12):
helpful.
Now I can go about my daybecause I feel like if you
prolong that sadness, it's justgoing to.
You know what I mean yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (41:26):
Yeah, well, well we know, oh my gosh this has raised
you well, emily I love you.
Speaker 3 (41:37):
I think going through this, like I said, it really
forced me to become mature at ayounger age and I kind of felt
like I was emotionally ahead oflike maybe some other people,
just because of what I'd beenthrough.
And so now that I'm 22, I feellike I when I was in high school
(42:04):
I would not really, I'ddistract myself with things, to
not think about Jamie or youknow, not accept the sadness,
and now I'm just like you knowwhat it's human it's, it's what
everybody goes through.
When you're grieving someone isto be sad and actually feel all
(42:26):
the feelings I.
I say that all the time I'm likethat's my.
Speaker 2 (42:30):
That's my thing too, emily.
I feel the feel.
Speaker 3 (42:33):
Yes, yeah I'm like, yeah, yeah, I tell myself.
I'm like, emily, you have tofeel the lows to be able to
experience the highs and thegoods of life.
And right now, just I justallow myself.
When I'm sad, I'm like, okay,I'm gonna take, like I said,
five minutes, seven minutes, tojust get it figure out what it
(42:55):
is I'm feeling and go through it, and then I can move on my day
and it's really helped.
Speaker 2 (43:01):
I love that you have learned to in time.
Like you said in high school,you didn't, you distracted
yourself and you just kept goingand going and going, and now
kind of like being out on yourown and not having somebody
there at all times, probably,yes, yes.
Speaker 3 (43:16):
And this I by no means was like the perfect
person.
Going through grieving, I haddays where I wanted to sit in
bed all day and not talk toanyone, and there were days
where I was like binge eatingfood, comfort food, junk food,
whatever you know like yeah.
(43:36):
And it took those trials anderrors to really figure out what
it is that I need to do.
And it took, you know, I was 11.
Really figure out what it isthat I need to do and it took,
you know, I was 11.
So it took 11 years for me toreally figure out how it was,
you know, to get through andlive my life where I can be
happy, but also still live forand through Jamie, and figure
(43:56):
out what it was for myself thatI needed.
And I think that's anotherpiece of advice is you really
got to figure out what works foryou?
For me, I like to talk about it.
I like talking to people, Ilike sharing stories?
I don't, but it wasn't alwayslike that, so I guess you can't
(44:17):
really say you're perfect person.
That's grieving.
Nobody's perfect and this thingthat we're going through it's
awful, it's hell and it sucks,but you'll figure it out.
Speaker 1 (44:32):
I think I figured it out maybe, maybe in five years I
think it's because you, you all, face it, you talk about it,
you honor it and you do it allwith such great love.
I feel like there's just such Idon't know grace and beauty in
(44:55):
you and I just can't.
I mean what this interviewmeans to both Amy and me and the
listeners.
I mean just your wisdom is isjust treasure.
It's amazing.
Thank you so much.
Speaker 3 (45:10):
I'm so happy.
I'm so happy to be able toshare and if I could even just
help one person or give themhope.
Speaker 1 (45:23):
I.
Speaker 2 (45:23):
I'll be happy.
So well, you just gave twopeople, yeah, two moms, because,
like I said, we both have younggirls.
I mean, we question every dayif we're doing things right.
Every mom questions, I'm goingto say Questions are regardless.
Speaker 3 (45:39):
But when you?
Speaker 2 (45:39):
add that extra layer of deep sadness into a joyous
home, because we're all joyouspeople, you know, and it's just
you know.
You just don't want to screwthem up again.
Speaker 3 (45:55):
You know you guys are great, though I mean anybody
who's going through this as amother, I can't really obviously
give any insights.
I haven't gone through it as amother.
I can't really obviously giveany insights.
I've gone through as a motherbut I just being part of warrior
moms and you guys being able toshare that information with
each other, and then thispodcast, being able to share it
(46:17):
to the world, I think it's so.
Oh, sorry, I get a littleemotional thinking about it,
just because it's so importantright it is.
And for people who are listeningand are just going through this
, for you guys to be able togive your two cents about
everything you've been through.
I think it's just amazing.
(46:37):
I know that there's some momsout there that feel like they're
not doing the right thing orthey're not showing up for their
kids or family, but it's hard,you know you can't.
Speaker 2 (46:57):
It's hard.
Yeah yeah, it effing sucks onso many levels.
Yes, yeah.
Speaker 3 (47:03):
And you guys just being at all the levels.
Yeah, and my mom.
You know she always comes homefrom warrior moms and I'm like
how is it?
And she's like it sucks whywe're there, but I can't imagine
getting through it withoutthese other women.
Speaker 2 (47:16):
A thousand percent.
Yeah, a thousand percent.
Speaker 3 (47:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (47:19):
Knowing that there's somebody in the boat with us.
Speaker 1 (47:21):
Yeah, I knowing that there's somebody in the boat
with us.
Yeah, I think that's what youshared.
You know, emily, is that yourparents did so well?
Is they shared their own grief?
They allowed you to share itand then also to keep
experiencing joys and newexperiences as a family, and I
just, I just think it's such awealth of advice.
(47:42):
We're so grateful that you werehere today, of course.
Speaker 2 (47:43):
And I just think it's such a wealth of advice.
Speaker 1 (47:44):
Yes, we're so grateful that you were here
today.
Of course, guys, it was so goodtalking to you.
Oh my gosh, now you're acelebrity too Rock star, yes.
Speaker 2 (47:55):
We awarded you a cake .
Yes, I feel so special.
Speaker 1 (48:01):
Oh my gosh.
Well, thank you for joining usand thank you to everyone else
until next time, until next time.
Speaker 2 (48:08):
Thank you guys, bye-bye.
Well, welcome to Warrior Moms.
We're so glad you're here thismorning.
I am Michelle.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
And I'm Amy and this is a segment that I've been
antsy to get to, just as a mommyself we have got a sibling of
one of our angels.
We have Emily McHenry.
He was Jamie McHenry's sister,younger sister, and we heard
(00:31):
Christine the mom a few weeksago.
Correct, michelle?
Yes, yes, emily, tell us, tellus who you are.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
Hey everybody, my name is Emily McHenry.
I am a senior at GeorgiaSouthern University.
I have one semester left, soI'm almost done.
The light's at the end of thetunnel and I'm excited.
So, yeah, I'm really happy tobe here today.
Thanks for asking me to be here.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
I feel like we're going to grill you with all
sorts of questions.
As moms, you know talking tosomeone, so you know.
So beware.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
But we're so glad that you're here and you know
it's a hard topic, but yet it'sa topic that you know.
You're, I know, as you said,you're so proud to talk about
Jamie and you're open about justyour own grief journey and
we're so glad for that.
So, thank you.
Tell us about you and yourgoofy brother.
(01:34):
What was Jamie like?
He?
Speaker 3 (01:38):
was just like that cooler older brother.
You know that every littlesister admires and you know
everything he did in my eyes wasjust like the coolest thing
ever.
He played lacrosse.
So I wanted to play lacrosselike yeah everything he did, I
was like, oh my gosh, he is socool, I want to be exactly like
him and I think he would kind ofget annoyed by that a little
(02:01):
bit, just like me, his littlesister copying every little
thing he did.
Yeah, he was just, you know, socool like that.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
So did he pick on you ?
Speaker 3 (02:11):
let's be honest, oh my gosh so many times, yeah, so
many times.
A lot of our conversations werejust arguing because we both
thought we were right and halfthe time the other two of us
were right.
What was the age differencebetween y'all?
He was 13.
I was 11.
So we were, like you know, twoyears apart.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh my gosh, I love it when youthink about some of that.
You know, like cool brother,what's a favorite memory you
think when you think of Jamie?
Speaker 3 (02:52):
where's your mind go to?
Definitely lacrosse.
So he was a big athlete allaround.
He played basketball, he playedfootball, you know, but he
started playing lacrosse and hewas really good.
He was just a huge stud at it.
And one of my favorite memories, looking back at it, is him
kind of teaching me how to playlacrosse.
Like I said, I wanted to beexactly like him.
So I was like, yeah, teach mehow to play lacrosse.
(03:14):
And so we would be out in ourdriveway every day and he'd be
teaching me the fundamentals.
He'd be so patient, like thiswas one of the times neither of
us were yelling at each otherbecause we, we he was actually
like really good, like mentorand coach.
So and then I went on to playlacrosse even after Jamie passed
away for 13 years.
(03:34):
So I I really do owe it all tohim.
He taught me everything Ilearned.
I love it so much.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
Well, um, let's talk about that that.
So Jamie was 13 and you were 11, you said when Jamie passed so
what grade were you, Emily, at11?
Speaker 3 (03:55):
I was in fifth grade.
Fifth grade.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
And that's kind of that quintessential grade where
you're ending sort of theelementary, what's kind of that?
You know, quintessential gradewhere you're ending, sort of the
elementary.
You're getting ready for, youknow, the next step of middle
school.
Did your middle school start insixth grade?
Yes, it did, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
And were you going into fifth grade or going into
sixth grade?
I was going in the spring.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
I was ending fifth grade.
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (04:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
So take us back, if you don't mind, to that spring
break time.
Speaker 3 (04:32):
Okay, so what you remember.
Speaker 2 (04:35):
Yeah, that's what you remember.
Speaker 3 (04:37):
Yeah.
So you know, the brain kind ofhas a funny way of going into
self-defense mode by blockingout a lot of those memories or
blurring them because they wereso traumatic.
But yeah, I remember, um, youknow, jamie had went on a spring
break trip with one of hisclose friends and their family
(04:59):
and me, my mom and my dad wewent to I think it was north
carolina or tennessee, I don'treally.
We went to I think it was NorthCarolina or Tennessee, I don't
really remember.
We went for like a mountainweekend.
We did hiking, did golf, likeall that fun stuff.
And I remember the day theaccident happened.
I do remember it was arounddinnertime, maybe a little bit
(05:22):
after dinnertime.
It was around dinner time,maybe a little bit after dinner
time and my dad got a call fromthe family that Jamie was with
and delivering.
You know the news of theaccident and this is kind of
where it's like a blur toremember.
But I remember you obviously alot of crying.
(05:44):
You know me and my family wereholding each other and and then
I remember I I genuinely do notremember how like the ride home
at all, I cannot remember asecond of that, but I remember
getting home and but yeah,that's it's.
It's so weird when I thinkabout it because you would think
such a big day like that, youwould remember everything, but
(06:06):
because it was so awful, yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
Well and.
I think you're right thateverything that we've read,
certainly, exactly as you say,our brain protects us, yeah, and
, you know, allows us kind ofjust these little moments to.
You know that we have to sortthrough, but yet it is so that
(06:33):
we can get to the next momentand to the next moment, you know
, and so it somehow softensthose memories in some ways.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
Yeah, I totally agree , and I think a lot of it also
had to do with being so young.
Had to do with being so youngand I almost think at my age I
didn't really understand whatlike was happening, why it was
happening.
You know, when you're 11, youdon't really understand why or
what everything is happening.
So I don't, I don't know if itwas like a self-protection thing
(07:01):
, like, but it's also part ofthe grieving process.
Is denial, like being like thisisn't actually happening.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
Yeah, well, when you didn't see it when you weren't
there and you weren'tvisualizing, you know, because
11 you're pretty much this iswhat's real and that's what's
not.
Yeah, yeah, exactly, you knowyeah, did you?
Speaker 1 (07:24):
do you remember?
Did you go back to school rightaway?
Did you stay home for a bit?
Speaker 3 (07:31):
So so I did not go back to school right away.
I think I waited about twoweeks and I just I remember,
like I again, I think it's thebrain's way of protecting
ourselves.
But up until the end of thatyear 2013, when it happened, a
(07:55):
lot of it is just like a blur,like you said, trying to get to
the next part, the next moment.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
Yeah, exactly part of the next moment.
Yeah, exactly yeah.
Was there something during thattime period that kind of gave
you comfort?
You know that I rememberreading in those first couple of
days.
It was like give your childrenroutine, get them back to
routine as fast as possible.
Was there something youremember that it was like oh,
I'm glad that I get to do X,that I'm back doing this.
Speaker 3 (08:32):
So I was super fortunate or my family, we're
super fortunate to have such anamazing community around us, so
many great friends and family.
That would do anything for us.
And I remember some of myreally close friends.
They were just amazing becausethey didn't close friends.
They like they were justamazing because they didn't that
I also, still at such a youngage, my friends being this
mature, they would invite me tolike dinner and they wouldn't
(08:54):
really ask any questions aboutwhat happened, but they would
just try and get back intonormalcy, like talk about
lacrosse and talk about school.
Yeah, and I I remember I waslike I've never been more
thankful and I look back at itnow how mature these you know my
friends are, who I'm stillfriends with today, to be able
(09:15):
to recognize like hey, don't,you know, push any limits with
asking questions about Jamie orthe details or how I'm feeling
and just getting me out of thehouse and I was so thankful.
And then lacrosse is like a hugepart of my life and being able
(09:36):
to, even if it was just for anhour during the game, just leave
everything out on the fieldlike play and have your mind in
a different world.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
Right, exactly, you were in your own world, that you
didn't have to worry aboutwhatever was out there.
Right, exactly, exactly yeah wehave that.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
One of the things that I know a lot of moms talk
about and worry about is just,you know, we worry that.
You know that we change, thatwe lose a piece of the mom that
we were before and that we worryfor that.
You know, like for Greta, Igrieve for that, gosh, I wish I
(10:16):
could get back to you know how Iwas before.
We lost Carter and yet you know, I think Greta feels like she's
got a great life and she's gota great childhood.
When you think back about justyour mom and dad's grief, are
there moments that you reallyremember and things that you
(10:37):
worried about or that you wantedto do for them during those
kind of first couple years.
Speaker 3 (10:43):
I definitely remember thinking how kind of different,
or maybe even a little bitweird it was to like see my
parents let down their guard alittle bit.
You know, be vulnerable anddeal with coping and you know,
see, you don't really growing upI never really saw my parents
(11:05):
cry.
I feel like that's kind of likea thing that a lot of children
they don't really ever see theirparents cry that much and I
remember, you know, seeing myparents go through it and I
going through this at such ayoung age.
I was forced to grow up andmature very early on and I
(11:26):
realized, like you know, myparents have this awful
situation but they're stillproviding for me and caring for
me and loving me and I don'tknow.
I realized then I was like theyare going through this hell of
a situation with losing one oftheir kids, but they went the
(11:47):
extra mile to show me love, saylike hey, you know we still love
you, we still care about you.
We know we're talking aboutJamie a lot.
We know we're, you know.
So I just remember I'mfortunate with my parents
because they went out of theirway to show that they're here
(12:07):
for me, even though they're alsogoing through it Right.
So I think that was like a hugething.
I really think my family gotreally close because of it.
In the weirdest way it was likea bonding for lack of a better
word a bonding situation.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Yeah, that's a great way to explain it.
You now have a different bondwith your parents that you would
not have had.
You still would have had a bondwith your parents, yeah, but
you definitely have a differentbond now than you would have.
Jamie, we're still here, right?
Speaker 3 (12:43):
And I think another big thing that my parents did
that helped a lot is I don'treally know how to phrase it I
guess they would never beataround the bush Like they would
never be afraid they're not thattype.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
Right, right, exactly .
Your mom's not going to beataround any bush, she's going to
beat straight through it.
Speaker 3 (13:06):
They were, but they wouldn't be afraid.
They would want to talk aboutmemories and talk about Jamie.
They wouldn't ever try, and Idon't know how to say it.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
They're not going to hold back.
Speaker 3 (13:20):
Right, they wanted to embrace all this.
They're not going to tiptoearound the issue.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
They're not going to tiptoe around the subject.
It is there, this is the way itis, and this is the way it's
going to be, exactly which Ilove.
Speaker 3 (13:30):
Yeah, and it really has helped me like be able to be
so open about Jamie and whathappened.
It's like now I can fully talkabout it and remember all the
memories and not-.
Speaker 2 (13:42):
Do you think that it's helped you open up about
other things in your life withyour parents?
Speaker 3 (13:49):
yes, yeah, definitely yes.
Um, just being more vulnerable,I always kind of even after
Jamie, I was always trying to belike cool, you know not really
show my parents, my emotions orwhatever, but I mean my parents.
They are two of the strongest.
They are the strongest people Iknow.
(14:10):
They've been through hell andback with this and I have
nothing but utmost respect forthem and how they handled it
with me.
You know they were stillraising me.
I was only 11 years old, Right?
Speaker 2 (14:23):
You were just entering the worst years of a
parent and a teenager.
You were going into yourteenage years, that's all.
Speaker 3 (14:30):
Yes, exactly, and they are.
Just I don't know.
I would never admit it to mymom, because you guys know my
mom she would, she would, butshe's really.
She's handled this whole thingwith just class and grace.
I have so much respect for bothof them.
I'm really thankful.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
I love that and one of the things I wanted to ask
you about that I think you knowyour mom was so instrumental is
you know Jamie's rocket shopthat mom and dad put together.
What was you know?
So explain, I guess, just whatthat was.
And then how did that help you,or how was it?
(15:13):
You know, was that part kind ofhard or was it great for you
Talk about that a little.
Speaker 3 (15:20):
I saw the rocket shot and all of the other things we
did as amazing Like I justreally.
This might sound bad, but Ididn't find it very hard to do
because I knew that that's whatJamie would want us to do is
like find ways to get back tothe community or no?
(15:42):
Yeah, yeah, and so the rocketshot.
It's a 5k that we do every year.
Unfortunately, I've not beenable to go for the past four
years because of college.
But right, I you know we.
It's been going on for um 11years now and it is just the
most up like gives me the mostcomfort and peace.
(16:06):
Knowing my community like, evenafter all these years, sits
behind me and my family withJamie, and still wants to.
Speaker 1 (16:15):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (16:16):
Like show up and do things for him.
I just like I get so like Ilike choke up thinking about it.
Yeah, I'm so thankful.
I like choke up thinking aboutit because I'm so thankful, like
my best friends I may all myfriends who went to different
colleges.
They still come to the rocketshots like something.
No matter where everybody iswho was there during the
accident, no matter whereeverybody is at that point in
(16:38):
their lives, they'll always finda way to come.
And I just find so much likelove and support from that, you
know, and it's just really acool thing just seeing all the
different types of people comeout On top of the Rocket Shot.
We also have a lacrosse teamcalled Team 8.
It's a memorial team in Jamie'sname and everybody from Team 8
(17:04):
comes out to the rocket shotEveryone from my high school,
everyone from the community.
It's just so cool seeing, afterall these years, people still
showing up and showing theirlove for my family.
So I'm so thankful for it.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
I went this year and it's exactly as you say and it's
a huge showing of people andjust the way you are, emily, and
you know knowing your mom anddad, it's exactly it's honoring
Jamie and then it's joyful.
You know there's a band thatplays along the way.
You know as you're walking orrunning, you know people carry
(17:41):
like a boom box and you knowwalking and yeah, it's just, it
was a lot of fun and I think,just you know, not knowing Jamie
, but being there, you get asense of that, that love and
passion for one another, andit's exactly what you say.
Speaker 3 (17:59):
Yeah.
I think it's one of the likelights that came out of a really
dark time.
It really has, I think, changedour lives.
Obviously, after Jamie'saccident it just again I'm
beating the dead horse with this, but we have such a great
(18:20):
community, really do.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
I'm forever thankful to my community so well and what
would you say, you know, if youhad to give advice to um
someone that's you know recentlylost somebody?
What would you say to thecommunity your friends,
especially friends your age Iknow you said your friends were
so good what would be someadvice you might give?
Speaker 3 (18:54):
I think everybody's situation's different, but to
know that you're not alone evenif you feel like you are, you're
never alone.
There's always people like thewarrior moms.
There's always people like thewarrior moms like you guys.
There's always clubs.
I joined when I was 11.
When it happened, my mom put mein this club called Kate's Club
(19:20):
and it was this little programbased out of Atlanta and they
you know, it's all differentkids that age that have lost a
family member, being a parent ora sibling, and you just can
talk freely in a safe space withpeople who have been in your
situation.
So I think my advice for peoplewho are going through something
(19:41):
like this is it's hard.
It's never not going to be hard.
I think the biggest thing is tofind, figure out how you can
get back to some sort ofnormalcy.
That's going to be your savinggrace is finding ways to cope,
and you know, I don't know it'sit's hard.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
It really is.
And, emily, when you would seeyour parents get upset, how did
you feel Like?
And did you feel like youneeded to take care of them?
Or, or you know like, causethat's something that I'm always
like, I'm conscious of, when Iget upset around Layla, cause
she doesn't feel like she needsto take care of me, but I'm the
mom I'm supposed to take care ofher, you know, it's that kind
(20:26):
of weird.
Speaker 3 (20:29):
I think honestly.
At first it was weird, it washard being like, oh my gosh, my
parents you know my two pillarsof support and foundation
they're crying, they're upset.
What am I supposed to do?
Like I almost felt helpless.
But as time went on I realizedit was good that they were
(20:51):
sharing that side with me, thatthey were saying, hey, it's okay
to cry about it, it's okay tobe upset.
Um, but I mean you do as, likea, as a child, you feel like you
need to take care of yourparents, but I mean there's no
looking back.
I'm thankful for them beingable to express those emotions
(21:13):
with me, because it taught methat I can be sad too.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
You know, yeah, yeah, that makes sense, and it is
hard and this is sad, but we canpersevere and put one foot in
front of the other and we can dojoyous things, like the rocket
shot, and find joy in it.
Yeah, it's for a sad reason.
This is joyful and it is.
It brings joy to you and thewhole community basically, which
is great, right.
Speaker 3 (21:38):
And so I remember, right after it happened, our
front door was like a revolvingdoor of people just coming to
express their condolences andgive us food and stuff, whatever
.
I remember seeing my parentsand their interactions with
these people and they seemed sadbut they were kind of, you know
(22:03):
, getting through it, puttingone foot in front of the other,
and I was like me, as an 11 yearold, looking at them, I'm like
they don't even seem sad.
But then when I did see themand you know, when everybody was
gone, when it was just us seethem get emotional, I was like
okay, they just, you know,they're putting up a little bit
(22:23):
of a front just so they can getthrough the day.
But they are sad and that mademe in the weirdest way.
It made me feel better becauseit gave you comfort because you
were so sad.
Right, exactly, and I didn'twant to feel like I had to, you
know, hold all those emotions in.
Yeah, and I was so thankfulbecause when I would see my
parents get upset, I didn't feelI felt comfortable enough to
(22:47):
like talk with them.
And you know we would talk andwe would share stories and just
reminisce, and it's hard andit's sad and there was a lot of
tears and a lot of pain, butit's, I think it's necessary to
feel all those feelings,especially with your family,
because they are always going tobe in your corner in the same
(23:16):
situation that you are in, andit just was very helpful being
able to feel those feelings andshare all the memories and, you
know, feel all of that?
Speaker 2 (23:23):
Yeah, yeah, exactly, yeah.
So sometimes I think thatsiblings could feel like they
were lost in the shadow of theirdeceased sibling.
Do you, I mean?
And I don't know that you'veever felt that way, but I can
totally see how that can happena lot of times.
Yeah, go ahead.
(23:47):
Sorry, no, I was just going tosay like how would you recommend
or like dealing with that ifsomebody was feeling that way,
or if the parents are like gosh,I feel like I talk about Jamie
all the time and we need to talkabout your.
Mom is great at doing thebalance.
You know, I feel like I don'tknow how you feel, but I feel
like she's great at doing thebalance.
I feel like Michelle and I do agood job, but I do feel like
(24:09):
there are some people thatprobably have a hard time with
that.
Speaker 3 (24:13):
Right, I think my parents, like I was saying, they
kind of went the extra mile toaddress the fact that it would
be like, hey, I know we'retalking a lot about Jamie, but
we still see you, we're stillhere with you, we love you.
We want you to feel important,yeah, you know to feel important
.
Yeah, and even though we'regoing through this time, we, we
(24:34):
want you to know that we still,yeah, we love you at your events
.
Speaker 2 (24:41):
They would go to your lacrosse.
Well, I think there's some momsthat can't even get up and go
to their.
Yeah, well, crossgate, you know.
Speaker 1 (24:50):
So, right, well, it sounds like they really
verbalized all these things Likehere's what we're feeling,
here's what we want you tonotice and understand, and just
putting voice to what they weredoing.
Speaker 3 (25:05):
I think communication is a huge thing and, like I,
was only 11.
So, and I think it's hard ifthe sibling is younger, but just
being straight up saying likeyou said, communication, like
just saying, hey, we know we'retalking about Jamie a lot.
(25:27):
What do you feel?
Asking how they feel, yeah,getting them like to talk about
it, I remember my mom wouldalways be like what do you feel?
Like what?
Why are you sad?
Like asking all the questionslike that maybe are a little
uncomfortable, but just beingable to verbalize it as an 11
(25:48):
year old, like it made me feelvery valid most 11 year olds
can't verbalize any of that.
Speaker 1 (26:03):
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
But I just remember Did youhave to like in your later teens
, did you revisit that in awhole?
Nother way, like.
I remember one counselor youknow Greta was eight when we
lost Carter, but one counselorsaid when she's older she's
going to revisit this, she'sgoing to have to walk through
that accident in now sort of amore adult way.
(26:23):
Do you have that experience?
Speaker 3 (26:27):
I do, but I feel like the worst feelings I felt were
when it happened and then movingforward just because my parents
handled it in such a respectfuland mature way for me it wasn't
as hard as the first time,wasn't like as hard as the first
(26:51):
time, like obviously, growingup, you know, when I was in high
school, I, I would always thinkabout it, you know, playing
lacrosse, just everythingreminded me of it.
But we just had again such agreat like community.
Speaker 2 (27:07):
I had such great parents like getting me through
it letting me feel all thesadness and letting me cope at
11, not telling me to suck it upand just right, yeah, or or to
like, just.
Speaker 3 (27:22):
I feel like I remember when I was in kids club
, I was talking with some otherkids who have lost siblings and
their parents would like tellthem to distract themselves from
like their feelings and notaddress them, and I was like, I
think, looking back now, I'mvery thankful for my parents to
(27:43):
do it right away.
You know, I mean, it's hard andI can see, as a parent, you
could want to be like shelteringyour kid, a little bit, like
protecting them from the bad oflike yes, this happened to you,
but I think, honestly, the bestway to do it is be honest, feel
(28:03):
and communicate.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:05):
And that's where I agree, like I think that because
of feeling the feels andallowing themselves to feel the
feels in front of you and withyou and all of you together, I
think that is so healthy Becauseit does allow your mom to get
off the couch and go to thegames and cut up with you and
all that kind of stuff, where ifyou just hold those feelings in
(28:27):
all the time, it makes youbitter and angry at least for me
, and that's what I see, and Ithink y'all have done a
wonderful job and I think thefact that your mom how do you
feel about the fact that yourmom has walked through that
before with her brother?
Speaker 3 (28:43):
I know I always like think about it's just so weird,
like that's such a weird thingto grasp.
You know she went through it soweird, like that's such a weird
thing to grasp, you know.
Yeah, she went through it.
My grandmother, her mom wentthrough it like and then we had
to go through it like it's justweird.
Yeah, always such a weird thingto think about, but really my
mom is the strongest person everand anybody who's met my mom.
(29:07):
She's so lively, she's so fullof life she is always the life
of the party.
Yes, I think a lot of her beingthat way is because she wants
to live through and for Jamie.
Living life, being positive,being kind.
(29:28):
She's really the epitome of astrong woman who's seen it all,
and I'm just so proud of her andmy dad both of them well she
leads us the world so she leadsus, she is a true leader to us,
to show us that you can makeevery day matter.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
you know, enjoy every day, and joy and sorrow does
coexist.
Right, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (29:57):
Exactly yes, when you , when you went to college, um,
how did you you know when you'retalking about your family, did
you?
Um, do you have sort of anystrategies or advice for you
know the other siblings?
Like, how do you talk aboutthis with new friends?
It?
Speaker 3 (30:16):
is awkward and it you don't think it's going to come
up in conversations.
Because when I went to college,you know I kind of had the
backbone of this community andeverybody kind of knew what
happened.
And then when I went off tocollege knew, yeah, and it is
awkward, you know you, you getin conversations with your
(30:38):
friends about their families andthen they turn to you they're
like oh so, like, do you haveany brothers or sisters?
And at first, if I didn't feelat first I was not comfortable
talking yeah, so freely about it, I would get very choked up
about sharing what happened withJamie.
Now as I'm a little bit older, Ican freely talk about it.
Speaker 2 (31:00):
Experience.
You've had more experience withit, yeah.
Speaker 3 (31:04):
So honestly and I feel like a lot of people who
have gone through this probablyrelate when people would ask me
if I had any siblings, I wouldjust be like, no, I'm an only
child, just don't want to talkabout it.
But now, because I am socomfortable and I want people to
know Jamie's story and myfamily's story, I do like I feel
very comfortable and like I'mhappy to talk about it.
(31:26):
But my biggest piece of adviceis when you, when you're ready
to share with people, you'llknow.
Speaker 1 (31:36):
if you don't feel comfortable with people, just
you don't have to have to shareyou know yeah yeah and I think
that's so freeing to hearbecause, um, you know, I think
that, especially from a siblingside of it, and there isn't any
right way to do this griefjourney.
Speaker 2 (31:58):
And.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
I love how you phrased.
Like your mom, like you'reliving through this might be
that you're just going to sayyou're an only child, and then
other days you can say, no, Ihave a brother and he's just not
with us anymore.
Speaker 3 (32:21):
I remember feeling that I don't want people to when
I tell them this.
I don't want people to feel bador treat me a certain way,
because you know that's just howI felt.
I was like, oh God, I don'twant people to be like, oh,
she's a, you know, she's sad,she lost her brother.
Speaker 1 (32:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (32:39):
But, like you said, you know, if you're not feeling
like you want to say, you don'thave to tell anybody.
You can just I mean people whoyou want to know.
That's your decision, you know.
Speaker 1 (32:56):
Yeah, yeah, and yeah, people who you want to know,
that's your decision, you know,yeah, yeah, and you'll find your
, you'll find your time, right,right, I mean it'll, it'll come
when it needs to come yes,exactly exactly, yeah, what?
What are some of the ways?
I mean, obviously you you havethe rocket shot, um, and you
have, you know, team eight, butwhat are some like other ways
that you just in your maybeday-to-day life, that you
(33:16):
celebrate your brother?
Speaker 3 (33:18):
Um, I, I'm, I, I'm like my mom, I hate to say it
she she's going to hold me tothat.
But as I've grown older, I'mlike, oh my God, I am my mom,
I'm just, I like to be kind.
As I've grown older, I'm like,oh my god, I am my mom, I'm just
.
I like to be kind, I like topay it forward when I can help
(33:38):
people who need help, I like totalk to everybody, even if it's
a passing stranger I'll nevermeet again.
I just like to, you know, livelife every day with the most
amount of joy and happiness as Ican, because I know what I've
gone through.
(33:59):
I know that I've gone throughhell with losing a brother, my
family too.
And now, moving forward, I thinkI owe it to myself to choose to
be joyful because, like yousaid, joyful and sorrow can
coexist and it never really getseasier, but it definitely.
(34:20):
You can learn how to be happyand find the little things that
remind you of the people youlost.
Instead of choosing to be sadabout little reminders, I choose
to say like hey, you know he'swith me every day.
I wear my Live for Jamiebracelet every day, and a new
(34:42):
tradition that I've recentlyestablished in my life is, every
year on Jamie's passing date,me and all my friends.
You know this was in college,so me and all my friends would
release balloons.
Um, and it was.
It's just.
I think it was a really nicething to have to.
(35:03):
You know, remember, take thetime to.
Speaker 1 (35:07):
Really, I don't know it was just Well and with your
new friends and your new space.
You know, and that was yourcommunity that you created.
You know that you did that.
Speaker 3 (35:19):
Yes, yeah, and it's just very nice, like you said, I
mean, it was all my new friends, so they don't know, they never
met my brother, they never metmy family, but they still show
up to support and I just I'vebeen so blessed and lucky to
have the people I have in mylife, just constant support,
even my college friends, and soI will forever be thankful for.
Speaker 2 (35:42):
But you put that out there, emily.
You put that out there andyou're allowing people to come
in your world and celebrate him.
Yeah, I mean, it's how youpresent yourself.
I think a lot in the wholesituation of yeah, this sucks,
yeah, but I have joy that helived, I have joy that he was my
(36:02):
brother and you know it welland I love that you say, and you
, you do this for yourself rightDeserve to be happy.
Speaker 1 (36:12):
I mean, what, what a gift for a young woman to know
that.
I mean, it's just extraordinary.
I just I am listening.
Speaker 2 (36:22):
I honor you with a cape.
Speaker 3 (36:26):
Yes, you are a warrior sister.
I'm so thankful, you know, foreverything that's happened.
Speaker 2 (36:37):
I'm going to change the subject for a minute.
So was it your freshman orsophomore year?
You lost a friend at GeorgiaSouthern.
Speaker 3 (36:44):
Yes, so my freshman year, one of my close friends
named Cole Cooey.
He got also in a car accidentand he passed away and that was
actually like when you askedabout like reliving it as
growing up, that was a huge likeweird way Back to the day,
(37:11):
didn't it?
Yes, Because I think, because Iwas older, you know, I was 20
when Cole died.
I think just living that,grieving Cole and but then also
being like this is what it wouldhave been like if I was 20 when
Jamie died.
You know, like it was reallyweird, the whole, the feelings I
(37:34):
felt.
It was just like oh, like, oh,my God, you know.
Reliving it yeah, yeah.
Reliving it, but yet differentit was just yeah, and I remember
calling my mom and I'm liketold her what happened and I'm
like this is sad, like I'm sadabout jamie, I'm sad about cole,
(37:54):
like why, why is why?
Now am I getting sad aboutjamie?
When cole just died, you know,like I felt like conflicted.
I was like I should be sadabout Cole, but then I'm like
Also sad.
Speaker 2 (38:07):
Yeah, yeah, I always feel selfish.
Anytime we lose somebody elsethat was associated with Alec or
something like that, I feelguilty because I'm more.
I'm sad for I'm sad about Alec,yeah, my son, you know.
Yes, I'm sad about them, butI'm sad about you know.
It does it brings all of thatemotion.
Yeah, you said I feel selfishfor being sad about me, but I'm,
(38:29):
you know, yes, it is, but itdoes.
It resurfaces those emotionsand it will.
Speaker 3 (38:35):
It'll continue to do that, right, I think grief is
the weirdest journey somebodyhas to go through.
Like it'll be the most randomthings that remind you of the
person you lost and like I'll belike walking on my college
campus and I'll see something sorandom could could have nothing
(38:56):
to do with, like Jamie, yeah,but for whatever reason, I'm
like, oh my God, like I'm sad,but I think it's a good thing to
feel that still now I'm almost23 years old.
That's crazy.
You're so old, but it's just sonice to have people like you
(39:20):
guys.
And you know, for people who Iknow have been through it, that
can relate, you know.
Speaker 1 (39:27):
Yeah, what do you do on those those sad days?
What do you do to help yourselfget to finding joy again?
Speaker 3 (39:36):
I just, I'm a very firm believer in feeling all the
feelings.
So when I'm sad, I I allowmyself to be sad, I allow myself
to look through pictures andremember and a huge thing that
I've recently started doing.
I didn't do this when I wasyounger, but in college I've
(39:57):
started just writing likejournaling, and I know that's
kind of like a very cliche pieceof advice, but-.
Speaker 2 (40:04):
No, it's just amazing yeah, and what else?
Speaker 3 (40:08):
when I'm sad feeling sad about Jamie, but I don't
really know why I'm feeling sadI set a timer on my phone for
five minutes and I just writeanything that I'm comes to my
mind and it's been the mostfreeing, like, yeah, I don't
know, it's very, it's such agreat fight out of here where
(40:29):
it's all jumbled up, yeah, andthen it just gets it out because
I don't know what do you thinkthe timer does for you?
I love that I think it's justbecause I often find myself and
I'm feeling sad about Jamie, butI don't know why Just setting a
timer and being like, okay,this five minutes, seven minutes
(40:51):
, eight minutes I'm going todevote to trying to put my
feelings into words and it'sjust, it's helped, and I'll be
like, bawling, crying, writing,but like, for those five minutes
I allow myself to do it andthen, when that timer goes off,
get myself together and I'm likethat was like so freeing and
(41:12):
helpful.
Now I can go about my daybecause I feel like if you
prolong that sadness, it's justgoing to.
You know what I mean yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (41:26):
Yeah, well, well we know, oh my gosh this has raised
you well, emily I love you.
Speaker 3 (41:37):
I think going through this, like I said, it really
forced me to become mature at ayounger age and I kind of felt
like I was emotionally ahead oflike maybe some other people,
just because of what I'd beenthrough.
And so now that I'm 22, I feellike I when I was in high school
(42:04):
I would not really, I'ddistract myself with things, to
not think about Jamie or youknow, not accept the sadness,
and now I'm just like you knowwhat it's human it's, it's what
everybody goes through.
When you're grieving someone isto be sad and actually feel all
(42:26):
the feelings I.
I say that all the time I'm likethat's my.
Speaker 2 (42:30):
That's my thing too, emily.
I feel the feel.
Speaker 3 (42:33):
Yes, yeah I'm like, yeah, yeah, I tell myself.
I'm like, emily, you have tofeel the lows to be able to
experience the highs and thegoods of life.
And right now, just I justallow myself.
When I'm sad, I'm like, okay,I'm gonna take, like I said,
five minutes, seven minutes, tojust get it figure out what it
(42:55):
is I'm feeling and go through it, and then I can move on my day
and it's really helped.
Speaker 2 (43:01):
I love that you have learned to in time.
Like you said in high school,you didn't, you distracted
yourself and you just kept goingand going and going, and now
kind of like being out on yourown and not having somebody
there at all times, probably,yes, yes.
Speaker 3 (43:16):
And this I by no means was like the perfect
person.
Going through grieving, I haddays where I wanted to sit in
bed all day and not talk toanyone, and there were days
where I was like binge eatingfood, comfort food, junk food,
whatever you know like yeah.
(43:36):
And it took those trials anderrors to really figure out what
it is that I need to do.
And it took, you know, I was 11.
Really figure out what it isthat I need to do and it took,
you know, I was 11.
So it took 11 years for me toreally figure out how it was,
you know, to get through andlive my life where I can be
happy, but also still live forand through Jamie, and figure
(43:56):
out what it was for myself thatI needed.
And I think that's anotherpiece of advice is you really
got to figure out what works foryou?
For me, I like to talk about it.
I like talking to people, Ilike sharing stories?
I don't, but it wasn't alwayslike that, so I guess you can't
(44:17):
really say you're perfect person.
That's grieving.
Nobody's perfect and this thingthat we're going through it's
awful, it's hell and it sucks,but you'll figure it out.
Speaker 1 (44:32):
I think I figured it out maybe, maybe in five years I
think it's because you, you all, face it, you talk about it,
you honor it and you do it allwith such great love.
I feel like there's just such Idon't know grace and beauty in
(44:55):
you and I just can't.
I mean what this interviewmeans to both Amy and me and the
listeners.
I mean just your wisdom is isjust treasure.
It's amazing.
Thank you so much.
Speaker 3 (45:10):
I'm so happy.
I'm so happy to be able toshare and if I could even just
help one person or give themhope.
Speaker 1 (45:23):
I.
Speaker 2 (45:23):
I'll be happy.
So well, you just gave twopeople, yeah, two moms, because,
like I said, we both have younggirls.
I mean, we question every dayif we're doing things right.
Every mom questions, I'm goingto say Questions are regardless.
Speaker 3 (45:39):
But when you?
Speaker 2 (45:39):
add that extra layer of deep sadness into a joyous
home, because we're all joyouspeople, you know, and it's just
you know.
You just don't want to screwthem up again.
Speaker 3 (45:55):
You know you guys are great, though I mean anybody
who's going through this as amother, I can't really obviously
give any insights.
I haven't gone through it as amother.
I can't really obviously giveany insights.
I've gone through as a motherbut I just being part of warrior
moms and you guys being able toshare that information with
each other, and then thispodcast, being able to share it
(46:17):
to the world, I think it's so.
Oh, sorry, I get a littleemotional thinking about it,
just because it's so importantright it is.
And for people who are listeningand are just going through this
, for you guys to be able togive your two cents about
everything you've been through.
I think it's just amazing.
(46:37):
I know that there's some momsout there that feel like they're
not doing the right thing orthey're not showing up for their
kids or family, but it's hard,you know you can't.
Speaker 2 (46:57):
It's hard.
Yeah yeah, it effing sucks onso many levels.
Yes, yeah.
Speaker 3 (47:03):
And you guys just being at all the levels.
Yeah, and my mom.
You know she always comes homefrom warrior moms and I'm like
how is it?
And she's like it sucks whywe're there, but I can't imagine
getting through it withoutthese other women.
Speaker 2 (47:16):
A thousand percent.
Yeah, a thousand percent.
Speaker 3 (47:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (47:19):
Knowing that there's somebody in the boat with us.
Speaker 1 (47:21):
Yeah, I knowing that there's somebody in the boat
with us.
Yeah, I think that's what youshared.
You know, emily, is that yourparents did so well?
Is they shared their own grief?
They allowed you to share itand then also to keep
experiencing joys and newexperiences as a family, and I
just, I just think it's such awealth of advice.
(47:42):
We're so grateful that you werehere today, of course.
Speaker 2 (47:43):
And I just think it's such a wealth of advice.
Speaker 1 (47:44):
Yes, we're so grateful that you were here
today.
Of course, guys, it was so goodtalking to you.
Oh my gosh, now you're acelebrity too Rock star, yes.
Speaker 2 (47:55):
We awarded you a cake .
Yes, I feel so special.
Speaker 1 (48:01):
Oh my gosh.
Well, thank you for joining usand thank you to everyone else
until next time, until next time.
Speaker 2 (48:08):
Thank you guys, bye-bye.
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