Ep. 03 (audio only) - WATCHTOWER AFTER DARK - UNCLE TONY MORRIS EXCLUSIVE w/SMURF GIRL & MITCH - Watchtower After Dark with Smurf Girl & Mitch

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
UNKNOWN (00:00):
Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 (00:32):
Hello everyone and welcome once again to the XJW
Network Show.
I am Mitch.
Usually I would have Smurf Girlwith me, but we're doing a
little something special today.
If you saw, both of us posted onour accounts about dear Uncle

(00:55):
Tony.
He said he would be here.
I'm hoping he don't stand me up.
I'm looking for...
Hey.
What?

SPEAKER_01 (01:05):
Is that you, Tony?
Oh, God.
Mitch, is that you?

SPEAKER_00 (01:09):
This is

SPEAKER_01 (01:10):
me.
Oh, God.
Hey.
Tony.

SPEAKER_00 (01:13):
What's

SPEAKER_01 (01:13):
up?
It's me.
How are you?
What's up?
It's been a rough year.
It's

SPEAKER_00 (01:21):
been

SPEAKER_01 (01:21):
rough.
Did you recognize me?
Can you recognize me?
This is my incognito half.

SPEAKER_00 (01:32):
I barely did it because of the hat.

SPEAKER_01 (01:36):
I

SPEAKER_00 (01:37):
am.
And the loose pants.

SPEAKER_01 (01:40):
Is Smurf Girl in here, is she?

SPEAKER_00 (01:42):
No, no.

SPEAKER_01 (01:44):
Okay,

SPEAKER_00 (01:46):
good.
You don't

SPEAKER_01 (01:48):
like my partner in

SPEAKER_00 (01:49):
crime?
You don't like my partner incrime?

SPEAKER_01 (01:54):
We got an alliance.
We got an Uncle Tony's SmokeGirl Alliance, but I'm just too
shy to see her in person.

SPEAKER_00 (02:04):
Oh, okay.
All right.
She's my friend.
Okay.

SPEAKER_01 (02:09):
All right.
Well, she's my niece.
I'm her Uncle Tony.
Oh, Mick.
I just came from the assembly.
Pure worship, my ass.
My ass, boys.
You kick me off the body.
And then you have the nerve todo clean, pure worship?

(02:34):
I know.
How can

SPEAKER_00 (02:34):
I be pure without Uncle Tony?
How can I be pure without UncleTony?

SPEAKER_01 (02:39):
I know.
I

SPEAKER_00 (02:42):
was

SPEAKER_01 (02:42):
the most purest form of worship there was.

SPEAKER_00 (02:45):
You were.
I know.
I know.
First, you heard from my bigbrother, Sam.
Have you heard from him?

SPEAKER_01 (02:57):
Oh, you know.
Yeah.
Well, I shouldn't say.
Don't want him to get DF'dbecause of me.
He's a brother from anothermother, Mitch.

SPEAKER_00 (03:10):
I know.
We're like this.
All four of us are like this.

SPEAKER_01 (03:15):
I know.
He's the only one that bats meup.
Because he's the only one thatfeels that way about them women,
them broads at the Kingdom, huh?
You know?
He feels about broads like I do,you know?

SPEAKER_00 (03:32):
You know,

SPEAKER_01 (03:33):
I got yoga pants on right now, you see?
I got yoga pants on.
I'm like, whatever.
Whatever.

SPEAKER_00 (03:41):
You just threw caution to the wind.
You're wearing yoga pants, too?

SPEAKER_01 (03:45):
Yes.
You know what, Mitch?

SPEAKER_00 (03:49):
I'm

SPEAKER_01 (03:50):
sorry.
I got to take a break because Igot to take I got I went to the
I just went to the pharmacy andgot my medicine.
Do you mind if I take it?

SPEAKER_00 (03:58):
That's fine.
Are you well?
Do you got

SPEAKER_01 (04:01):
some medicine too?

SPEAKER_00 (04:03):
I do.

SPEAKER_01 (04:03):
You want some?

SPEAKER_00 (04:05):
I have some.

SPEAKER_01 (04:07):
Yeah.
Uncle Tony likes a good shooter.
The jumbo kind.

SPEAKER_00 (04:11):
Jumbo shooter.
I

SPEAKER_01 (04:16):
had two, but I was at the assembly, so I, you know,
needed to

SPEAKER_00 (04:22):
crack one open.

SPEAKER_01 (04:25):
Crack it open.

SPEAKER_00 (04:26):
Oh, cheers to you, Unc.
Cheers.
Which

SPEAKER_01 (04:30):
side are you on, this side or that side?

SPEAKER_00 (04:34):
The other side.
This side?
There you go.
Cheers.

SPEAKER_01 (04:39):
Cheers.

SPEAKER_00 (04:42):
You know they can do that

SPEAKER_01 (04:44):
now.
Oh, that's the good stuff.
I feel annoying that again.

SPEAKER_00 (04:46):
You feel?
I feel

SPEAKER_01 (04:48):
annoying

SPEAKER_00 (04:48):
that again.
They didn't take that from you.

SPEAKER_01 (04:52):
Oh, yeah.
They frisked me.
They frisked me when I left.
They're like, bend over, Tony.
Bend over.
Oh.
And I was like, no.
They're going to.
And you know what they did?
They gave me my old clothesback.
They took my good wardrobe.
They said it was property ofwashtock and I had to wear my

(05:15):
80s clothes again.

SPEAKER_00 (05:17):
They did you wrong, Tony.
Let's get into this.

SPEAKER_01 (05:21):
Okay.

SPEAKER_00 (05:24):
Did you know before they kicked you off, did you
have any inkling that they weregoing to do that to you?

SPEAKER_01 (05:34):
Honestly, I've been treading a thin line for a long
time and I knew I was a fog guy.
So I took it on the chin becauseUncle Tony do that, you know?
Right.
Hey, you know what?
You like a good stogie?
You like a good...

(05:54):
I got one of them honeyberryones.
Look at that.
I want...
Uncle Tony, what is up with

SPEAKER_00 (06:00):
you?

SPEAKER_01 (06:01):
I want...
What is that called when they,like, sponsor me?
I need to be sponsored byFireball?

SPEAKER_00 (06:08):
Oh my

SPEAKER_01 (06:08):
goodness.
And the honey berry stogies.

SPEAKER_00 (06:11):
But look, you used to be so straight and narrow.
Now you drink and fireball andyou about to light up.
Like what happened?

SPEAKER_01 (06:23):
I always did.
One time, one time out ofdesperation, I used my program
as rolling papers.
You know, you ever done that?
You ever done that?
Like, you know, you lick it.

SPEAKER_00 (06:41):
I cannot say I've done this.

SPEAKER_01 (06:44):
No, you know who taught me to do that?

SPEAKER_00 (06:46):
Who?
Don't say.
You know what?
Well, I was about to say, don'tsay my brother.
You know what?

SPEAKER_01 (06:55):
Sorry.
I'm so full of myself, I don'tlet you talk.

SPEAKER_00 (06:59):
My brother is not rolling blood.

SPEAKER_01 (07:03):
No, he's got a dude like Snoop that has him rolling
for him.
Don't roll his own no more.
Come on.
You make the body, you got arolling paper guy.

SPEAKER_00 (07:14):
Wow.

SPEAKER_01 (07:16):
Now I'm going to crack this sucker open.
I know you got one too, Mitch.

SPEAKER_00 (07:22):
Huh?

SPEAKER_01 (07:23):
I know you got one too.

SPEAKER_00 (07:25):
I can feel

SPEAKER_01 (07:26):
the Holy Spirit tell me you got one.

SPEAKER_00 (07:29):
I've been known to fuck on something, you know.
I got two things going overhere.
Yeah.
There you go.

SPEAKER_01 (07:37):
Nah, they made me go out like smoke.
I knew when I was blowing outthat match that that was it.
And that was it.
That was

SPEAKER_00 (07:45):
it.

SPEAKER_01 (07:46):
I

SPEAKER_00 (07:46):
was going to do it good.
What kind of match idea?

SPEAKER_01 (07:52):
They told me to do it.
They told you to.
I did.
Jehovah's enemies.
Like smoke.
Oh, God, I got to land

SPEAKER_00 (08:02):
another one.
That was close.

SPEAKER_01 (08:05):
I know.
Uncle Smoke, Tony Morris.

SPEAKER_00 (08:10):
Wait a second.
You made a lot of brothersupset, okay?

SPEAKER_01 (08:15):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 (08:16):
Do you know how?
Good.

SPEAKER_01 (08:20):
Why?

SPEAKER_00 (08:21):
Because you told us that yoga pants were not
allowed.

SPEAKER_01 (08:29):
Well...

SPEAKER_00 (08:30):
We didn't like it.
Rumor...

SPEAKER_01 (08:33):
Well, it's only...
Okay, let me get you straightabout it.
Yoga pants is only illegal withthe ugly broads.
If you're good looking, it'sfine.
You know, it's only when themugly ones wear them.
I don't care if anybody elsewears them.

(08:54):
It's fine.

SPEAKER_00 (08:56):
Just, you

SPEAKER_01 (08:56):
know, we don't need to see you coming.

SPEAKER_00 (08:59):
Come on, man.
You can't offend people likethat.
I'm

SPEAKER_01 (09:05):
Uncle Tony.
That's what Uncle Tony thinks.
Not me.
Not my opinion.

SPEAKER_00 (09:15):
Were you the only one at that viewpoint about yoga
pants on the body?
Were you the only one on thebody at that viewpoint?

SPEAKER_01 (09:22):
No, Sammy feels the same way too.
Gloria and Susan took yoga onetime and it was a mess.
So we're anti-yoga.
You know what?
Yoga pants turns into yoga, andthen yoga's pagan, all right?
Yoga's pagan.

(09:43):
You can't be wearing the pantsof pagan yoga and be okay,
right?

SPEAKER_00 (09:52):
It's just a wardrobe, you know?
I don't think they are gettinginto it that deeply.
They just want to wear somethingthat's comfortable.
Oh, I have to run errands.
I have to go to the store.
Let me throw these on.
What's wrong with that?

SPEAKER_01 (10:08):
Nothing.
That's why I'm wearing themright now.
I got them on.
I didn't realize that they lookuncomfortable.
They look uncomfortable.
I can practically full-on do thesplits.

SPEAKER_00 (10:19):
Oh,

SPEAKER_01 (10:20):
this stogie is like almost broken, man.

SPEAKER_00 (10:23):
I

SPEAKER_01 (10:26):
know.
I didn't realize they were socomfortable.
Now I wear them all the time,too.
So does Sammy.
You should see Mark Sanderson.
He thinks he can do karate.

SPEAKER_00 (10:36):
No, I don't want to see that.
That

SPEAKER_01 (10:42):
was a bad idea.

SPEAKER_00 (10:43):
Did they nominate you to be the one to give the
tough talks?

SPEAKER_01 (10:50):
Say that again.

SPEAKER_00 (10:50):
Did the body nominate you to give the tough
talks?
Why did you always give thestern, like, hard talks?

SPEAKER_01 (10:59):
Because I'm the only one that's got the balls to do
it.

UNKNOWN (11:05):
Oh.

SPEAKER_00 (11:06):
And

SPEAKER_01 (11:06):
I'm like everybody's Uncle Tony.
I'm like your dad, you know?
And so I go up there all daddingon you, you know?
That was you?

UNKNOWN (11:19):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (11:20):
I'm sorry.
Yeah, like, you know, like whenyour jackass dad goes up on the
stage and he's yapping like ahypocrite.
Everybody's got one.
And so I was the hypocrite dadone, you know.
And so that was my role.
Like the Seven Dwarfs, that wasmy role.

(11:40):
God, I need more medicine.

SPEAKER_00 (11:42):
Oh, boy, look at you.
You're tearing it up.
So, like, when you left...
Or let's just call it what itis.
When they kicked you off, whatdid you

SPEAKER_01 (11:53):
do?

SPEAKER_00 (11:55):
They lynched me.
What did Uncle Tony do afterthey just got, like, dropped you
so coldly?

SPEAKER_01 (12:07):
They caught me wearing tight pants.
They caught me wearing tightjeans.
It was a fight.
Smurf girl was right.
That's why I don't want her herebecause I don't want to tell her
she was right.
And

SPEAKER_00 (12:22):
you

SPEAKER_01 (12:22):
were right and everybody else was right.
She should be able to wear pantsto the meeting if she wants to.
And that beards ain't so pagan.

SPEAKER_00 (12:37):
Beards ain't so

SPEAKER_01 (12:38):
pagan.

SPEAKER_00 (12:39):
My brother looks nice with the beard.

SPEAKER_01 (12:44):
I know.
Well, you know, it's that a lotof those JW brothers do look
good with beards.

SPEAKER_00 (12:50):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (12:51):
And it seems that some of the brothers that don't,
don't like it when they see aguy looking real sharp.
Like, you know, the guys, theguy, I'm sure y'all probably
confused me for Rick Fearing.
You know, I'm not Rick Fearing,I'm Uncle Tony.
But...
There are some brothers thatit's like they get jealous of

(13:15):
the way a guy looks in a beard.
You know, if he comes in lookingall, you know, like Derek Jeter
or something with a beard andall pop ass, you know, like you
start looking like the mostinteresting man in the world,
but then you can't do a beard.
There's beard jealousy.
And it started with Rutherfordbeing beard jealous.

(13:39):
And so, you know, then nobody,it's like, oh, he's so good and
he's so into his beard and he'sso good looking with this beard.
And then, so then they saynobody can have beards.
And it's like, that ain't

SPEAKER_00 (13:53):
cool.
So you left and they come outwith these new guidelines.
They allow different things.
The governing body hasconcluded.
So how do you feel that thewomen can wear pants now?

SPEAKER_01 (14:09):
I don't even go anymore.
I can't even look at it.
I can't even.
I went to the cell.
I'm done.
I'm done.
No, I mean, seriously.
And it's chaos.
It's a free-for-all.
They were wearing at theassembly.
They were, you know, because Ijust went today.
And they were wearingsweatpants.

SPEAKER_00 (14:31):
No.

SPEAKER_01 (14:33):
Smurf girl told me about it.
They were wearing.
She saw it, too.
They were wearing sweatpants.
They wear t-shirts and jeans.

SPEAKER_00 (14:46):
Wow.

SPEAKER_01 (14:47):
It seriously is a free-for-all.

SPEAKER_00 (14:49):
So you left the hammer.
I used to call you the hammer.
The hammer leaves and it's like,come as you are now.

SPEAKER_01 (14:59):
Wow.
Yeah.
It's like, I think they know theend is coming regardless.
Like, the end's coming.
And they might as well, it'slike, it's like Casual Friday at
the Kingdom Hall.
Casual Friday.
Just Casual Friday.
It's like, what's this sweaterhair?
Oh, you know, I should probably,God.

(15:19):
Uh-oh.
It's getting hot in here.
No, it's like Casual Friday atthe Kingdom Hall.
Oh, no.

SPEAKER_00 (15:28):
You just like, you want yoga pants?
You got a ponytail?
Damn, Tony.

SPEAKER_01 (15:34):
Well, I grew my hair up.
Hey, beards is okay.
I can't grow a beard.
I'm the kind of guy that can'tgrow a beard, but I grew my hair
out and I'm wearing a man buneverywhere I go.
Why?
I know, but I'm still bald up on

SPEAKER_00 (15:50):
top.
Oh, you got a man buncul-de-sac.
Wow.

SPEAKER_01 (15:54):
I do.
I do.
I know neckties.
I wore a necktie to theassembly.
I wore a necktie to theassembly.

SPEAKER_00 (16:05):
When you went to the assembly today, did it make you
miss it?

SPEAKER_01 (16:09):
Yes.

SPEAKER_00 (16:11):
Really?

SPEAKER_01 (16:11):
Well, it made me realize I don't think I mind
being a part of the great crowd.
They treated me just like thepiece of shit great crowd.
That's what they did.
I walk in, they're like, hey,don't you treat me like no piece
of shit great crowd.
I'm annoying.
You know?
And they forgot.

(16:31):
They were treating me like anormal great crowd.
And I was offended.

SPEAKER_00 (16:36):
Oh, okay.
No,

SPEAKER_01 (16:41):
they did.
Just like that was just greatcrowd.
Just Uncle Tony's not greatcrowd, okay?
Uncle

SPEAKER_00 (16:49):
Tony's not great crowd.
You're going to offend mine andSmurf Girl's listener base.
First you say ugly women can'twear yoga pants.
Now you're saying piece of shitgreat crowd.
Come

SPEAKER_01 (17:02):
on now, huh?
I'm rogue.

UNKNOWN (17:04):
You're

SPEAKER_01 (17:05):
I'm broke.
They broke Uncle Tony.

SPEAKER_00 (17:07):
They

SPEAKER_01 (17:08):
broke me.
They broke Uncle Tony.
I don't even know up from down.

SPEAKER_00 (17:15):
Do you still feel the end is near?
How do you feel about that?

SPEAKER_01 (17:22):
The end of the organization is near.

SPEAKER_00 (17:25):
You can taste it.
I mean the world.

SPEAKER_01 (17:30):
Nah.

SPEAKER_00 (17:31):
That was a

SPEAKER_01 (17:32):
lie.
When I said that on thebroadcast, That was a lie.
I lied.
I want to admit, almosteverything, I was a big giant
hypocrite.
A hypocrite.
Just a big giant crit.
And I was a liar.
And I was a jerk.
And I admit it.
Is this a court of law, Mitch?

(17:54):
You look like a judge.
I, Uncle Tony Morris, admit thatI was a big hypocrite and a
liar.
So whatever you think...
As a lion.

SPEAKER_00 (18:07):
Wow.

SPEAKER_01 (18:09):
I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_00 (18:11):
So everything I thought was real and true is
fake.

SPEAKER_01 (18:18):
Oh, yeah.
It's all scripted.

SPEAKER_00 (18:20):
Oh, wow.
Wow.

SPEAKER_01 (18:23):
Yeah.
Everything's all scripted, man.

SPEAKER_00 (18:26):
There's some rumors going around.
Let me ask you this.
Where are you living these dayson?

SPEAKER_01 (18:35):
I'm trying to light this thing.
I'm sleeping on Smurf Girl'scouch right there.
I sleep on her couch.

SPEAKER_00 (18:46):
What?
She didn't tell me that.

SPEAKER_01 (18:50):
Say it again.

SPEAKER_00 (18:51):
She didn't tell me that.

SPEAKER_01 (18:54):
No, I know.
I told her to swear me tosecrecy.
No, I just showed up justyesterday.
You know my favorite trenchcoat?
You remember my favorite trenchcoat?
Susan threw it in the dumpster.
My wife, Susan, she threw it inthe dumpster.
She threw me out.

(19:15):
And so I came knocking on SmurfGirl's door.
I said, hey, I need a place tobe.
Can I sleep on your couch?
So she's letting me.
Damn.

SPEAKER_00 (19:26):
Not the trench coat of the famous picture of you in
the store.
That trench

SPEAKER_01 (19:31):
coat?
Oh, the liquor store one?
That's my favorite liquor storecoat.
I thought nobody could recognizeme.
I was wearing my hat.

SPEAKER_00 (19:42):
We know you, Uncle Tony.

SPEAKER_01 (19:45):
I've been doing it for years.
Nobody else saw.
I thought I could just...
Get away with it a couple more

SPEAKER_00 (19:53):
times.
I think you would throw us offnow with the hat, the man bun,
and the yoga pants.

SPEAKER_01 (19:58):
But you still recognize me, don't you?
I

SPEAKER_00 (20:01):
barely did.
It was hard, though.
I barely did.
I know.

SPEAKER_01 (20:06):
You can hardly tell me and Smurf Girl apart.
We're like twinsies.
We're like twinsies.
Gosh.
Hot in a suit coat.

UNKNOWN (20:19):
What?

SPEAKER_01 (20:22):
No, and you know what she did?
She's so worldly.
She taught me how to vape.
You, too.
What?
I'm seeing you do what you do,and I started, I went, first
thing I did is I put my hat onand went to go buy a vape.

SPEAKER_00 (20:37):
Uncle Tony, I would never, ever vape Uncle Tony.

SPEAKER_01 (20:44):
Me neither.
God, no nefties.
We're not even civilized at thehall anymore.
Not

SPEAKER_00 (20:54):
even.
I know.
It was weird.
It was weird.

SPEAKER_01 (20:58):
Might as well disfellowship everybody.
As a matter of

SPEAKER_00 (21:02):
fact, because I was still there a little bit
physically when they changed thedress code.
And I used to tell all theelders, I was like, what would
Tony say?
Like, what the hell would Tonysay?

SPEAKER_01 (21:17):
I know.
I'm like, go for it.
Who cares anymore?
Who cares?
We're the religion that thinks ademonized smurf ran down the
aisle that came to mob.
We have to be as equally stupidas that.
Like, you know, we don'tdisappoint in the stupid
department, now do we?

SPEAKER_00 (21:39):
We don't.
I'm no part of that anymore.
I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 (21:44):
There's not one person on the face of the planet
that would ever say, oh, theJehovah's Witnesses would never
be so stupid as to think a smurfran down the aisle at Kingdom
Hall.
Not one person ever says that.
Not one person denies that aJehovah's Witness would think
that and be scared of that.

(22:04):
Not

SPEAKER_00 (22:04):
one.
That was a scary story when Iwas a boy.

SPEAKER_01 (22:10):
Oh, I know.
And he's still out thererunning.
Do you see him right there?
He's right there under the Fezhat.
And that's my cabbage patches.
They're even worse.
No.
I got tarot cards right

SPEAKER_00 (22:26):
there.
No.

UNKNOWN (22:29):
No.

SPEAKER_00 (22:31):
No.

SPEAKER_01 (22:31):
That's like a porcelain painting of me.
That's right there.

SPEAKER_00 (22:36):
No.
That's why you need to checkthat out.

SPEAKER_01 (22:41):
Oh, say it again.

SPEAKER_00 (22:42):
I'm starting to see why you got kicked out.

SPEAKER_01 (22:45):
Yeah, well, I'm a life warrior, you know?
I'm a windbag.
You know, I've got a lot ofnicknames over the years.
But yeah, you know.

SPEAKER_00 (22:54):
What are you doing?

SPEAKER_01 (22:57):
I'm hot.

SPEAKER_00 (23:01):
Something about you just looks so different.

SPEAKER_01 (23:04):
I know.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
It's good.

SPEAKER_00 (23:08):
No,

SPEAKER_01 (23:10):
apparently the people were thinking I got
kicked off for being across-dresser, for being all
weird about Smurf Girl.
I don't know.
You know what the rumor is.

SPEAKER_00 (23:27):
The rumor is you all are never in the same room
together.

SPEAKER_01 (23:31):
I know.
Oh, she just walked in the door.
Hey, Toonsis, how you doing?
Yeah, this is my Toonsie.
I call her Toonsie when, youknow.

SPEAKER_00 (23:44):
She's

SPEAKER_01 (23:44):
back from the store.
No, we're in the same room.
She's just over there.

SPEAKER_00 (23:47):
I should text her.

SPEAKER_01 (23:49):
I know.
Oh, God, don't.
No, I mean, you know.
God.
Like...
You know, when I look at thegoverning body, I think that

(24:10):
it's never going to be the same.
Like, it's seriously never goingto be the same.

SPEAKER_00 (24:17):
Why do you

SPEAKER_01 (24:18):
think that?
Oh, I'm getting hot.
Oh, I'm getting hot.
Mitch, I'm getting hot.

SPEAKER_00 (24:24):
You've changed a little bit, Tony.

SPEAKER_01 (24:28):
I know.
You know, Tony's coming out ofme.

SPEAKER_00 (24:31):
I don't know.
I don't know what it is.
There's something about you.
I just can't put my hands on it.
But there's something about

SPEAKER_01 (24:39):
you.
Poor Uncle Tony.
Poor Uncle Tony.
He's going to be like, what?
We need some kind of music.
Uncle Tony brings it out of me.

SPEAKER_00 (24:50):
No more fireballs for you, Tony.
No more

SPEAKER_01 (24:52):
fireballs.
I like being Uncle Tony.
I'm sorry.
No, you know, it feels good.
Oh my God.
It'd be like, yeah.
Oh, Tony.
Tony.
Um, no, uncle Tony.

(25:17):
I got my yoga pants.
Ah, just love that guy.
But, um, no, we got to know,like, wasn't there a rumor that,
Okay.
I'm Smurf Girl.
Oh, hey.
See, we're in the same room.

(25:37):
You just saw him.
And you just saw me.
I'm here.
Uncle Tony, sit down.
Shut up.
I'm talking to

SPEAKER_00 (25:50):
Smurf Girl now.

SPEAKER_01 (25:52):
I know.
Yeah, I'm back.

SPEAKER_00 (25:53):
Prove it.
If you're Smurf Girl, you'llhave hair all over your head.

SPEAKER_01 (26:00):
Oh, yeah.
No.

SPEAKER_00 (26:02):
Oh, yeah.
No, I've

SPEAKER_01 (26:04):
been wearing a hat all day.
No, I like wearing this hat.
And I've been wearing this hat.
And I went in and I got it.
And I was like walking around.
I was like...
Oh, I'm like, do I look and Isaid to strangers, I said, hey,
if I wear this, will I look likeI'm going to do an impression of

(26:25):
Uncle Tony?
Do I look like Uncle Tony?
And I'm like, Uncle Tony.
And they're like, oh, yeah, youlook like Uncle Tony.
So even strangers thought, youknow, I was doing Uncle Tony.

SPEAKER_00 (26:34):
They had no idea.

SPEAKER_01 (26:37):
No, they couldn't even tell.
They're like, Uncle Tony.
Even people knew who Uncle Tonywas.
Now, it's something about thehat.
It's something about the hat.

SPEAKER_00 (26:47):
His hair is similar.

SPEAKER_01 (26:49):
Yeah.
There's something about him,though, Mitch.
Like, there's something aboutUncle Tony.
Like, for God's sake.
For God's sake.

SPEAKER_00 (26:59):
Like what?

SPEAKER_01 (27:01):
Where did he go?
You know, because, okay, this isthe thing.
Us apostates know what happenedwith Uncle Tony, right?
Like, we all know.
Like, obviously, you know, therewas a problem.
And we were talking about it.
We all knew.
But for the witnesses, they'reacting like it was no big deal.
And they're not saying like withRaymond France and everybody.

(27:24):
All the people in the Jehovah'sWitnesses knew.
Why?
You know, like when you're in itand it's not like the witnesses
don't know, too.
You know what I'm saying?
The witnesses know.
Like they they know why UncleTony.
They know more than anybodyelse.
They saw it.

(27:45):
And it was them being upset withUncle Tony.
It was like the witnesses beingsuper upset and pissed off at
what Uncle Tony was doing.
And he gets kicked off.
They know more of why he gotkicked off than anyone else on
the face of the planet.

(28:05):
And, you know...
We deserve an explanation,right?

SPEAKER_00 (28:12):
Some might not know.
Because you can't let thewitnesses know.
Some of our listeners andviewers might not know.
So why?
What do they do?

SPEAKER_01 (28:24):
Good question.
And every single, I mean, Iknow.
Because, you know, like for me,you were still in the
organization when that happened.
I was not.
You know, we were doingconcerted efforts targeting him.
We got him at the liquor store.
We got him doing this.
We got him doing that.

(28:44):
I'm all online.
We had him where we wanted him.
And we made, you know, whenUncle Brent lost his mind and
committed triple homicide, witheverything else we had caught
him doing, that was the finalstraw.
Like that, that while he's beinga jackass up on the platform,
that people are being murdered.

(29:05):
You know what I mean?
Like people were being murderedof online apostates being me,
that the people he was supposedto be, you know, supposed to be
shepherding are getting murderedbecause of what's going on in
the apostate community.
And there were certain thingsthat were said about him.
Like I had said, you know, um,At the memorial, I dressed a

(29:28):
little girl up in a Smurfcostume and went to the
memorial, and I stood up and Isaid, this is a Masonic Black
Mass, and Toni Morris is fromthe Philip Morris family.
And, you know, that there wasthings, you know, what Lloyd
Evans was saying and doing, andwho got bottle gate on tape, and
things where we got him in away, us apostates, as a whole,

(29:52):
in such a way...
that they couldn't help butremove them after everything
that happened.
Like it was just this, you know,pillow gate, bottle gate, me
standing up at the memorial,various, a bunch of other stuff.
And also his own mouth, his ownmouth got him.
Like his own mouth got him.
He would say, you know, I'm froma wealthy family, don't you?

(30:15):
You know, it's like, oh, wellthen what wealthy family?
I'm filling in the blanks foreverybody.
That it would be the wealthyfamily he bragged about being a
part of was the Philip Morrisfamily, considering his last
name is Morris.
What other Morris family wouldthere be that's wealthy?
Name me one.

SPEAKER_00 (30:33):
Those who don't know, you're talking about the
tobacco family.

SPEAKER_01 (30:39):
Yep, which is why we're smoking.
And why then also me saying he'sfrom the Philip Morris family
and then his last talk is, youknow, whoops, I can't even do
it, you know, lighting up amatch and being like, oh, this
is what we do to Jehovah'senemies, you know.

(31:00):
out like smoke, you know.
And then he's the one that's outwhen everybody, you know, me
starting it, saying he's fromthe Philip Morris family and
he's out like smoke.

SPEAKER_00 (31:12):
Oh my goodness.
Wow.
You

SPEAKER_01 (31:14):
know, because that's what I said many, many, many
times at the memorial, on sixscreens of the Watchtower, on my
channel, and he would brag aboutbeing from a wealthy family.
So, Who else would it be?
Considering that's what theymade him do.
They made him do it.

(31:35):
I

SPEAKER_00 (31:36):
don't know.
Let me look something up realquick.
I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 (31:40):
I might be...
What?

SPEAKER_00 (31:44):
I said, if you're talking, I'm looking something
up.
I may be connecting some dotshere.

SPEAKER_01 (31:49):
Okay.
Because if I was the one thatdid it, if it was me instead...
Where it's like, you know, I'mfrom a wealthy family.
I'm from a wealthy family.
You know, I'm you know, I'm RoseRose Morris, you know, and
saying that.

(32:10):
And then I do a match and blowit out and I get kicked off the
governing body.
You'd be like, oh, well, she hadto have been like if it was me
or if even it was you.

SPEAKER_00 (32:21):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (32:21):
What other assumption would there be?
None.
None.

SPEAKER_00 (32:29):
Are you Googling it?
Yeah, I'm looking up somethingreal quick, but you made me
think about something.

SPEAKER_01 (32:41):
Mm-hmm.
And you know he was a drinker.
So he was a drinker, and whenhe's saying he's from a wealthy
family and his last name isMorris, and he's walking around
the liquor store with a hat onand a trench coat...
Like, just that in itself.

SPEAKER_00 (33:03):
Oh, my goodness.
You know,

SPEAKER_01 (33:05):
and everyone has an Uncle Tony.
Everyone has some alcoholicUncle Tony, and he's slurring
his words and, you know, beingall stupid.
But that's the thing that makeshim so lovable.
Like, as an apostate, thosethings about him, I love,

(33:27):
personally.
Like, I want him to know that,that, that about him.
He used to, I mean, seriously,he used to back in the day when
I was little, cause I've knownhim forever.
He used to have one of these inhis jacket pocket and, and me
and Jesse would feel it.
And he'd be like, no, that's mypacemaker.
That's my pacemaker.

(33:47):
You're going to give me a heartattack.
You're going to give me a heart.
No, I want to see it.
You're going to, that's mymedicine.
It's my medicine.
You know?

SPEAKER_00 (33:57):
So that's why you're saying...
So

SPEAKER_01 (33:58):
that's how I know this is Uncle Tony.

SPEAKER_00 (34:02):
Huh.

SPEAKER_01 (34:03):
And I can't, you know...

SPEAKER_00 (34:07):
This is crazy.

SPEAKER_01 (34:08):
What'd you find?
Well,

SPEAKER_00 (34:10):
no, I'm just looking up, like, how it started and
everything.
Yeah.
That big ol' tobacco

SPEAKER_01 (34:20):
company.
Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_00 (34:23):
And you think that's why he made the match reference.

SPEAKER_01 (34:27):
Say it again.

SPEAKER_00 (34:28):
You think that's why he made the match reference?
Oh,

SPEAKER_01 (34:33):
yeah.
Because he was drinking andsmoking and being all Uncle
Philip Morris.
Uncle Tony Philip Morris.
Well, and his nickname is Smoke.
Like, Uncle Tony Smoke.
You know, Tony Smoke Morris.
Like, you can hear him atpeople.
Oh, here comes Tony SmokeMorris.
Oh, he's going to go out likesmoke.

(34:56):
I just like doing that, man.

SPEAKER_00 (34:58):
Doing

SPEAKER_01 (35:00):
sage at this point.

SPEAKER_00 (35:02):
No.
No.

SPEAKER_01 (35:06):
What?
No sage?

SPEAKER_00 (35:08):
No.

SPEAKER_01 (35:11):
We

SPEAKER_00 (35:11):
don't do that type of stuff.

SPEAKER_01 (35:15):
Come on.
Let's do some tarot, Mitch.

SPEAKER_00 (35:19):
No.
Stop.
Anyway, so...
People have been really, reallycommenting on our episodes.
They love Smurf Girl.
Someone, okay, this is what I'mthinking.
Because someone said they wantedto know more of your story.

(35:42):
I'm thinking, like, on our nextepisode, we need to, like, just,
like, grill in on it.
Like, give a little bit more ofyour story.
We touched on it on our firstepisode.
We touched on it, but I thinksome who aren't aware of you,
because you have a hugefollowing.

SPEAKER_01 (36:03):
I know it's weird that they wouldn't.
I'm just demonized Smurf girl,man.
Like, I'm demonized Smurf girlwith Jehovah's Witnesses.
What is there not to know?

SPEAKER_00 (36:14):
That might scare people, though, when you put the
demonized in front of it.

SPEAKER_01 (36:19):
Well, they called me that.
I didn't name myself Mitch.
I didn't name myself.
There's a demonized smurf girl,you know.
Her dad's a serial killer.
She's scary.
She's this.
You know, she's that.
Oh, my God.
You know, they're the ones thatsaid it.

(36:40):
Like, of my story, you know itbecause you're the ones that
said it about me.
You know?
Like, my story is what otherpeople said about me.
Right?

SPEAKER_00 (36:53):
so

SPEAKER_01 (36:55):
it's like what you said about me is my story but it
was because of you know um likeback in the day most people are
dead you know they of the adultsduring that time of 1982 like
how old would an adult be from1982 like Most of the adults

(37:20):
would have been like my mother'sage, which it would have been
like in their 30s.
So any adults that did that tome would be like in their 70s.
Some of them didn't make it.
And so a lot of those, there'ssome remnants of the demonized

(37:41):
Smurf left behind of the adultsthat did that.

SPEAKER_00 (37:44):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (37:45):
Like it was adults that called me names and adults
that my behavior, which you'veseen my behavior, you know, my
behavior.
Flipped out like how I flip youout sometimes, you know, don't
do that.

(38:06):
What do you mean?
You know, like, yeah, come on,let's do some Ouija, you know?
No, no.
I would freak him out even morebeing a Jehovah's Witness.
And of the Witnesses that Iknew, you know, hanging around
with Uncle Tony, you know,hanging around with certain
people, I was untouchable.

(38:27):
Like, I even had bodyguards.
Like, as a teenager, I had tohave bodyguards from you great,
proud Jehovah's Witnesses.
Like, I did.
I've got pictures of havingbodyguards.
It was the stupidest.
I mean, witnesses went, like, inthe 80s all the way up to, like,

(38:50):
1990.
Jehovah's Witnesses were stupidaround me.
I've never in my entire lifejust been stupid.
Especially, I mean, in theMidwest, here in Tucson.
I've never seen a group ofstupider people in my entire
life where, you know...

(39:12):
We

SPEAKER_00 (39:14):
were afraid.

SPEAKER_01 (39:16):
Yeah.
And you should be like, they

SPEAKER_00 (39:19):
should be.
Oh,

SPEAKER_01 (39:25):
if you would have seen it firsthand, Mitch, you
would have lost your mind.
And there wasn't anyone thatdidn't know my family that
didn't know that we ranwatchtower in multiple different
ways.
You know, walking around justlike how the body do with
bodyguards now.
Walking around with bodyguards.

(39:46):
Stupid brothers.
You know, being stupid at me.
Just being stupid.

SPEAKER_00 (39:54):
Why did you need a bodyguard?

SPEAKER_01 (39:59):
Because brothers would be stupid.
And well, for one, well, youknow, to keep certain people
away from me.
Like he, you know, I don't wantto say, but you keep certain
people, you know, certain, theway I would describe it, keeping
certain Michael Jacksons awayfrom me.

(40:20):
Just certain brothers that wouldbe like, ooh, that's demonized
Smurf girl, that's demonizedSmurf girl, like the pictures
that I have, like the MichaelJackson kind of brothers that
would, they'd just be allMichael Jackson.
You know, you remember that onesong called What's that song
where he follows that girlaround and he's following her

(40:44):
and he's singing to her and he'sfollowing her?
I

SPEAKER_00 (40:50):
forget.

SPEAKER_01 (40:51):
It's an old one.
When I was young, I would walkaround the assembly like this.
And there would be boys, youknow, just like, oh, hey, you
want to go roller skating?
You want to do that?
You want to do that?
And so, like, you know, me,this, needed a bodyguard at the

(41:16):
assembly.
Two bodyguards.
One for each side.
You know?
And that, like, flanking.
Like, no, I don't think so.

SPEAKER_00 (41:28):
How long did that go on?

SPEAKER_01 (41:32):
It was nuts.
It was nuts, and it's been nutsever since.
Like, it's been nuts recently.
It's been...
Yeah, it's

SPEAKER_00 (41:42):
crazy.
Why

SPEAKER_01 (41:43):
has it

SPEAKER_00 (41:45):
been nuts recently?

SPEAKER_01 (41:48):
It's just always, you know, you get crazy
messages, like, of what you get.
Like, okay, of the messages youget.
You say about the messages youget.
What kind of messages do youthink I get?
Okay?
You're you.
You're a guy.
You're you.
So just what do you think goeson on my end of things?

SPEAKER_00 (42:14):
Wow.

SPEAKER_01 (42:15):
You know, it's weird.
I'm used to it.
It's not as bad as it used to bewhen I was in the organization,
but you know, it's still bad.
Like, it's still bad.
I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 (42:30):
So I want to know Like, what's in store for you?
Like, what does Smurf Girl'sfuture look like?

SPEAKER_01 (42:40):
I don't know.
Don't know.
Anything goes.
We'll take this show to the nextlevel of, like, you know, we'll
take it to the next level andwe'll see.
There's no holds barred.
After this, do you know howenvious ex-Mormons are of us

(43:05):
ex-Jehovah's Witnesses?

SPEAKER_00 (43:09):
No.
Why?

SPEAKER_01 (43:12):
Well, how do you think they feel when they
haven't had any major changes inforever?
And we have, where it's like,oh, no, we fight like badasses.
We fight like motherfuckers.
We're going to, you know, wedon't take no for an answer.
We're going to keep going.
Do you know how they would wantto have a member of their

(43:32):
prophets be kicked off likeUncle Tony?
I bet, yeah.
Because can you imagine if itwas the Mormons that started to
be able to grow beards?
and have pants and have one oftheir prophets.
Or Scientology, where someone onScientology got kicked off big
time.

(43:53):
You know, any other cult, theirgoal is to be what we are, of
what we've accomplished.
That's what they want, too.

SPEAKER_00 (44:02):
I see what you're saying now.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (44:05):
Yeah.

UNKNOWN (44:07):
Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 (44:07):
Where, I mean, I can't imagine if it would have
happened with the Mormons, howdisappointed I would have been.
Like, how come it couldn't havebeen us?
We're doing, you know, there's,you know, of what we're doing,
but we did because, you know,that's the kind of people we
are.

SPEAKER_00 (44:23):
Right?
Circling back to, do you think,so some are saying, and I'm
asking this because of things Isee.
Some are saying, that he reachedthat age where they suggest
people leave.

SPEAKER_01 (44:43):
No, they're all around the same age.
So...
That's what I think.
He's probably even older.
Garrett Loesch is older.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 (44:52):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (44:55):
I think, yeah, I think he might even, well, other
than Mark Sanderson, he'sprobably right in the middle.
I wouldn't think he's, you know,he's obviously not the youngest.
Like, Mark would be theyoungest, but he's not the
oldest by far at all.
And there's others that, like,you know, Garrett Loesch would
be, or like David Splane if itwas age.

(45:20):
Don't think like a witness.
Don't talk like a witness.
You know?
There's one thing that the onlywitnesses will refute what us
apostates have got to say.
You know, it's like, oh, no, youknow, it's it was a bunch of
things.
It was just it was over.
When it's like, no, the fat ladysang and it's over, Uncle Tony.

(45:43):
It was just over.
Wow.

SPEAKER_00 (45:48):
Yeah.
And I'm just like, like, I'mrelaying comments that I hear to
you.
so that you can answer.

SPEAKER_01 (45:57):
Oh, yeah.
So what other comments?
That's

SPEAKER_00 (46:01):
mainly it.
Some say, no, it was the age.
They asked him to leave becauseof that.
Others say he's...
So, oh, this is the other.
I wanted to run this by you,too.
I've seen this slant all weeklong.
They're saying that for whateverreason, they wanted to quiet him

(46:22):
up.
And so they sent him to a homethat they bought in North
Carolina.

SPEAKER_01 (46:30):
Oh, yeah.
Oh, I forgot I was going to talkabout that.
Yeah, that home is calledCelebrity Rehab with Dr.
Drew.
You remember that?
He's doing Celebrity Rehab.
I did non-celebrity rehab.

(46:50):
I did regular rehab.
Because I did rehab.
He did rehab.
This is me sober.
Lovely.
Not really.
With the fireball.
They were going to get him soberfor his health and his mental
well-being.

(47:11):
He's needed rehab since I waslittle.
Like, he's needed rehab.
Like, personally.
You know, carrying a littlefireball in his pocket.
Calling it a pacemaker.
You know, he's had problems fora long time.
But that was what made him soawesome.
Is that, like, as long...

(47:31):
Okay, this is the thing withUncle Tony.
As long as he likes you.
If he likes you.
And you like him.
And you're in good with him.
And you're thick like thieves.
He's the greatest guy in thewhole world.
I know.
But if he gives you the coldshoulder and cuts you off, you
know, cause when I was in goodwith them, you know, like, and

(47:53):
then I'm just doing modeling andI'm all gung ho, then all of a
sudden he wants to treat me likeI was nothing.
It's like, oh, you're going touse my image.
You're going to do this.
You're going to do that.
And when he was being uncleTony, it was fine because you
get perks for being uncleTony's, you know what I mean?
Yeah.
But when he's going to act like,oh, I don't know, who are you?

(48:14):
I'm blind.
Who are you?
You know, I don't think so.
It's like, you know exactly whoI am, buddy.

SPEAKER_00 (48:20):
And you said this is when you modeled?

SPEAKER_01 (48:24):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 (48:25):
He treated you like

SPEAKER_01 (48:26):
that?
Oh, being Uncle Tony?
Oh, yeah, I was his favorite.
I was Uncle Tony's favorite.
Oh, can we use, you know, wewant to use you for a song or
can we do this?
You know, can you do kingdommelody?
We like the way you sing.
We want to do, you know, we wantto use this experience of you in

(48:47):
the magazine for you doingschool.
Like remember that school reportyou did?
Oh, we're so, you know, they,they, they do that with
everybody where they will strokeyour ego to use you.
And then you go up on the stageand then you get the people that
are on the stage for theassembly.
You know, those assembly stagepeople.

(49:09):
I was one of those where it'slike you go up and you're
holding your Bible and you'vegot your experience and you're
like, yeah, I was in school andI was pioneering and I did a
report.
And yeah, it was one of thosestupid, annoying girls on the
platform.

UNKNOWN (49:28):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (49:28):
You know, one of them bitches on the platform
that's like, oh, isn't she agoody goody?
Isn't she just perfect?
Well,

SPEAKER_00 (49:36):
aren't you?

SPEAKER_01 (49:37):
Yeah, I am.

SPEAKER_00 (49:41):
See?

SPEAKER_01 (49:43):
I was too perfect.
I know.

SPEAKER_00 (49:45):
No,

SPEAKER_01 (49:48):
I was.
I was totally like, I was justthe most perfect Jehovah's
Witness girl on the face of theplanet.
And then got married off at 16.
And then I used to say, you knowwhy?
Because I was too perfect.
It sounds arrogant, but it'slike they're just so...

(50:10):
Well, you can never be tooperfect either.
For me personally, with UncleTony and Arden Hansen, I could
not be perfect enough.
Of all the pictures that I'veshown, now that I look at it,
it's like, God, those are socute.

(50:33):
Just beautiful photographs of myteenage years.
And those beautiful photographs,I was not perfect enough for
Arden Hansen and Uncle Tony.
So this is what it looks like,Uncle Tony, when you don't think
I'm perfect enough for you.
Now you're not perfect enough.

(50:55):
You know?
He's far from perfect.
But I was not perfect enough,and then I became collateral
damage because I was such atroublemaker.
You know?
I was the queen of, you know,sneaking around.

SPEAKER_00 (51:08):
Why did you become a troublemaker?

SPEAKER_01 (51:13):
Because I knew all the bigwigs and knew what
hypocrites they were, and Iwould try and wake people up.
I'd try and wake you up.
Con was by my behavior, by my...
Brat behavior was my way oftrying to wake people up.
And because people would lookand say, oh, look at that little
girl.
She's from an elite Jehovah'sWitness family.

(51:34):
Look at her stepdad's doing thehelp desk.
Her stepdad's doing the sound atthe assembly.
Why is she acting like such abrat?
And I'd be like, because I'mtrying to wake you up, man.
Like trying to wake you up.

SPEAKER_00 (51:50):
So I would just be

SPEAKER_01 (51:51):
a piece of work.

SPEAKER_00 (51:53):
You have to watch those sound guys at the
assembly.

SPEAKER_01 (51:57):
Yeah, oh.

SPEAKER_00 (51:58):
I was a sound

SPEAKER_01 (51:59):
guy.
You was a sound guy?
Oh, yeah, you were a sound

SPEAKER_00 (52:02):
guy.
What am I saying?
What are you trying to say aboutme?

SPEAKER_01 (52:06):
That you vast apostate liar, mentally diseased
apostate, demonized apostateMitch.

SPEAKER_00 (52:17):
I'm not a sound guy.

SPEAKER_01 (52:19):
I'm demonized apostate.
I don't mind admitting it.
Demonized.
I love being demonized.

UNKNOWN (52:28):
Stop.

SPEAKER_01 (52:31):
Stop.
Oh, I don't got one.
Oh, guess what, Mitch?
They took my ring away when theykicked me off the body.
They took it away.

SPEAKER_00 (52:43):
Well, I know.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (52:49):
I love I miss it.

SPEAKER_00 (52:51):
Yeah,

SPEAKER_01 (52:51):
they took my ring away.
They took my ring.
They said, can't hand it over.
Bragger.
Bragger.

SPEAKER_00 (52:59):
Years.

SPEAKER_01 (53:01):
That

SPEAKER_00 (53:01):
picture you posted of us.

SPEAKER_01 (53:05):
Yes.

SPEAKER_00 (53:05):
When I was young and had hair.

SPEAKER_01 (53:08):
Say it again.

SPEAKER_00 (53:09):
I said, remember that picture you posted of us
earlier this week when I wasyoung and had hair.
I was flashing.
Yeah.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (53:17):
I love it.
I know.
And you had, yeah, that was thesame ring you had in that
picture.
And you're the one that's, yeah,like there are brothers that got
those big, and he really, it's astatus symbol of just being like
a made man in the mafia, likebeing a washed her mafia made
man.

(53:37):
I got my Beamer.
I'm big Mitch with my big ring.

SPEAKER_00 (53:43):
I told people, I told people, like on one of my
uh videos that i made when i'mtrying to tell people like how
it really is an organizationthat's what i likened it to i
told him when you become aservant and an elder it's like
you're a made man it's hard toget knocked down

SPEAKER_01 (54:03):
oh yeah

SPEAKER_00 (54:05):
god i

SPEAKER_01 (54:05):
can't believe yeah

SPEAKER_00 (54:07):
i would have accusations against me from
idiots but the elders wouldn'twant to do anything to me like
Yeah, they would be, in essence,they would make up stories to
defend me.

SPEAKER_01 (54:22):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 (54:23):
I tried to tell people that's just how it is.
It's very hard to get knockeddown.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (54:29):
Yeah, once you get made and you get friends on that
elder body, they will back youup.
It's just like the mafia.
I was trying to explain it toother people.

SPEAKER_00 (54:43):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (54:44):
And I liken it to the mafia all the time.

SPEAKER_00 (54:47):
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (54:49):
You know, and also with the mafia, when they have a
situation, how do they, youknow, it's like, oh, don't
worry.
Like, oh, for an example,Jehovah will take care of it.
Like, imagine, like, when theysay that, oh, don't worry, you
know what?
Oh, you know, is there anysecond witnesses?
Like, okay, I'm going to saythis in a real gangster way.

(55:12):
If you come to me and you say,this, this, and this just
happened, whatever it is, I'd belike, well, were there any
second witnesses to admit?
No, no, no, there weren't.
Okay, well, you know what?
I'll have Jehovah take care ofit, okay?

(55:34):
You know?
Don't call the cops, though.
I'll have Jehovah take care ofit.
Because there ain't no secondwitnesses, right?
But who did it?
And if I knew, if I was like aJohn Gotti, I would go take care
of it.
I'd have Jehovah take care ofit, you know, of whoever Jehovah

(55:55):
would be.
And be like, yeah, you know,there's this guy, he's XYZ, you
know, kids, whatever it wouldbe.
Why don't you go, you know, whydon't Jehovah go teach him a
lesson on, you know, touching onkids?
What would that mean?
If I were to say, oh, you know,that guy's touching on some
kids, I'll go have Jehovah takecare of it.

(56:17):
You know, don't even bothercalling the cops.
You know, it'll be done bymorning.
You know, like, that's how youcould take that.
That if there's no way, because,I mean, look at what happened
with Uncle Brent and UncleClyde.
You know, they told me Jehovahwas going to take care of that
situation.
And that is what happened.

(56:40):
So what else am I supposed tothink, right?
Like, what am I supposed tothink?
Knowing it's like, oh, well,what?
Is that Jehovah's way of takingcare of things that the cops
didn't take care of it, soJehovah did?
It's like, okay.
You know?
And so, you know, it's a way toput those, you know, those kinds

(57:03):
of pedos on notice that when thebrothers do say that in some
instances...
a lot that when Jehovah takescare of it, it doesn't end up
with a jail cell.
Well, it sometimes does, butthat there's a lot of collateral
damage when Jehovah takes careof it.
Jehovah takes care of it in amore messy kind of a way.

(57:26):
And we see the mess.
We see it in the headlines allthe time.
Brother goes to the kingdom halland takes his wife.
You know, this thing, thatthing.
Lauren Stewart, Christian Longo,Uncle Brent, Uncle Clyde.
You know, all these things.
Countless.

(57:47):
I don't think they want Jehovahto take care of it.
But in my opinion, when I seeJehovah taking care of a
situation like that, I'm gettingto the point where I kind of
appreciate it at this point.
Where it's like, I stand up andI'm like, yay! Look at how
Jehovah took care of that.
You know, thank you, Jehovah.

(58:08):
And I sing a little song forthem.

SPEAKER_00 (58:11):
Because something bad might happen to different
people.
That's what you mean by that.

SPEAKER_01 (58:16):
Oh, yeah.
They get taken care of one wayor another.
Like Jehovah handled Uncle Tony.
You know, did they call the copson Uncle Tony?
No, they took care of him oneway or another.
You know, and he's blowing outhis own match and it's this and
it's that.
Like, is he sure that's the wayhe will, the route he wants to

(58:39):
take?
You know, I mean, that's kind ofa deep, scary situation, you
know, for, for somebody to talkabout, but it's true.
Like I've seen it with my owneyes.
So

SPEAKER_00 (58:51):
it's like, I don't know how ready people would be
to like hear that and accept it.

SPEAKER_01 (59:02):
Yeah, well, what's the other alternative?
Because in every situation whenthat's going on, does it ever
end well?
Like it never does.
It always ends up in somethinghorrifying.

(59:23):
When Jehovah handles it.
Like when the court, like, youknow, but when Jehovah handles
it, when Jehovah handles thesituation, brothers and sisters,
does it ever end without someonegoing Uncle Brent on somebody
else?
No, it doesn't.
When Jehovah handles it, becauseask yourself, when Jehovah

(59:45):
handles it, does it ever end upwhere it's not on the table of a
homicide detective?
It doesn't.
It always, you know, it alwaysdoes.
It always ends up in a filewhere then the whole family's
obliterated and there's usuallyno witnesses left to talk about

(01:00:08):
it.
And, you know, the whole familythen gets uncle-brainted is how
it always ends up.

SPEAKER_00 (01:00:18):
Why?
Why does it only happen likethat with some?
And not with all the victims.

SPEAKER_01 (01:00:29):
Well, it hasn't happened yet.

SPEAKER_00 (01:00:35):
You

SPEAKER_01 (01:00:36):
can't have it happen all at once.
But, you know, God, Mitch.
You know.

SPEAKER_00 (01:00:44):
I'm asking the questions that the viewers are
going to ask.
That's what I'm doing.

SPEAKER_01 (01:00:48):
Yeah, well, I know for a fact that the way that
it's playing out is It's playingout in a certain order where
it's like, you know, ChristianLongo linked to Lauren Stewart.
Lauren Stewart linked to me.
Uncle Brent linked to me, youknow, and then linked to Uncle

(01:01:08):
Clyde, linked to this one.
There's a lot, you know, JeffreyEpstein links.
There's links to each one ofthem.
Of what's happening in the newsof these things, they're not
random.
Where it's like, oh, I rememberthat brother.
Oh, he's linked to LaurenStewart.
Or that brother's linked toChristian Longo.

(01:01:29):
That brother's linked to thisother person.
It's all links of a chain.
And as each link, you know,because this is how it was
described.
As each link starts to break,then another one will snap.
Like, they'll see...
You know, there's several ones.
Oh, God.
Oh, God.

(01:01:50):
I know all about Clyde Hanson.
You know, I know all.
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
And then they start having elderbodies.
And when they start havingjudicials.
And then somebody will snap.
Somebody will lose it.
And there's another link to thechain.
And then something elsesomewhere else.
Another link to a chain.
Then there's Uncle Tony.

(01:02:10):
Another link to a chain.
You know.
And I know the chain.
it's hanging around my neck.
And I'm like, Oh, there'sanother one, you know, until the
neck, the necklace is just sotight around there, all their
necks that they're not going tobe able to breathe.
You know, we're all you got todo.

(01:02:31):
Like if, um, I'm working ongetting my judicial records
subpoenaed.
And if my judicial, if demonizedsmart girls, judicial records
were out, um, You know, I've gotthe pictures too, where it's
like, oh yeah, this goes withthis, this goes with that.

(01:02:52):
My judicial file, it might aswell be the Epstein file.
This is what it might as wellbe.

SPEAKER_00 (01:02:59):
You have a lot of names on your judicial file,

SPEAKER_01 (01:03:07):
huh?
Yeah, I mean, what would youassume?
You know what I'm saying?
Well, you

SPEAKER_00 (01:03:14):
know,

SPEAKER_01 (01:03:14):
I'm

SPEAKER_00 (01:03:15):
I don't say everything that you and I talk
about.
I let you say what you'recomfortable saying.

SPEAKER_01 (01:03:23):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 (01:03:24):
Yeah.
I'm asking questions that I knowI've seen and maybe some of our
listeners may be asking.
So that's why I'm asking certainquestions.

SPEAKER_01 (01:03:36):
Well, of all the people, of all the thousands, if
not millions, not even just thethousands online, All the
answers to what really happenedwith the demonized Smurf and
everything and afterwards is allin my file.
You know?
When somebody makes a video andsays, what really happened with

(01:04:00):
that demonized Smurf?
Oh, it's in my file.
You know?
It's in my mom's file.

UNKNOWN (01:04:07):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (01:04:08):
Arden Hansen's file.
It's in Uncle Tony's file.
It's in Uncle Stephen's file.
It's in all their files, youknow, of everyone that was there
at

SPEAKER_00 (01:04:19):
that

SPEAKER_01 (01:04:21):
Kingdom Hall that day.
The memorial, April 8th, 1982.
Everyone that was at thememorial at our Kingdom Hall in
Ortonville, Minnesota, which wasa small Kingdom Hall, but It's
in every single one of theirfiles.

(01:04:41):
And at this point, and inBreckenridge, Minnesota.
And at this point, some reallyhorrible things of the people in
those congregations that wereinvolved with that.
There has, you know, Uncle Clydewas there.
Uncle Brent was there.
Uncle Tony was there.
You know, I was there.

(01:05:02):
My mom was there.
Of all these people, it's like,and what happened with those
individuals that were there?
Anything good?
Most of them we can't even askbecause they're dead and in
jail.
Uncle Morris Hanson was there.
He's doing life too.

(01:05:23):
You

SPEAKER_00 (01:05:23):
know?

SPEAKER_01 (01:05:25):
My grandma's dead.
She can't say anything.
Junkyard grandma.
Um...
You know, and so that's just aword of warning to anybody else
that was there for thatOrtonville memorial.
It's in your file.
Watch our nose.

(01:05:45):
Do I care?
No, because I'm the most visibleone.
You know, and they're all scaredof me.
Can you imagine those peoplethat were there?
I was scared of her.
You know, why?
Why?
Time to play hardball.
Like it really is.

(01:06:05):
Cause it's like, it's notsomething that's like a minimal
big deal.
It was the biggest scandal toever happen.
What's like, if we say what'sthe biggest scandal to ever
happen?

SPEAKER_00 (01:06:18):
I mean, there's

SPEAKER_01 (01:06:19):
an uncle Tony, which it's related.
For

SPEAKER_00 (01:06:22):
me, that's it.

SPEAKER_01 (01:06:24):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 (01:06:24):
That damn Smurf store.

SPEAKER_01 (01:06:27):
And it's related to everything else.
Everything else is just, uh, Megetting older, you know, and
various family members of like,oh, yeah, then Uncle Clyde grows
up and then he's a stew, youknow, and then me and then Uncle
Tony.
Then Uncle Tony gets made on thegoverning body and then look at
what happens to him.

(01:06:49):
You know, it's just like it's afamily saga.
That's what we used to call it.
Like, you know, Smurf Girlsfamily saga.
It's like, oh, no, you know.

SPEAKER_00 (01:07:00):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (01:07:01):
It's really become something.

SPEAKER_00 (01:07:03):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (01:07:06):
It was so much more than what people realize.

SPEAKER_00 (01:07:08):
After all these years, it's still being talked
about.

SPEAKER_01 (01:07:15):
I know.
I thought people

SPEAKER_00 (01:07:16):
forgot about it.
And people are still talkingabout it.

SPEAKER_01 (01:07:21):
I know.
What's that been?
43 years.
No, wait.
41.
No, wait.

SPEAKER_00 (01:07:31):
Yeah, I think you're right, 43, 44, something

SPEAKER_01 (01:07:36):
like that.
82.
Yeah.
43 years.
I was eight.
Like, yeah, that was, God, thatwas awful.

(01:07:56):
You know?
Movies were about it.

SPEAKER_00 (01:08:02):
Actually, it was an assembly part.
I was still living in Chicago atthe time.
One of the talks at the assemblytalked about it.
He was like, if you have one ofthose, you need to throw it away
tonight.
We didn't have any, but I wasstill terrified as shit.

(01:08:26):
Was

SPEAKER_01 (01:08:26):
I on the stage for it?
Was there a little girl on thestage for it?

SPEAKER_00 (01:08:31):
No, this was in Chicago.
It was just a brother giving atalk.

SPEAKER_01 (01:08:34):
Okay.

SPEAKER_00 (01:08:35):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (01:08:35):
Because they did take me at all the bowl
assemblies, you know, the CottonBowl, the Coliseum, the Rose
Bowl, going Rose Bundy Bowl,Rose Bowl Bundy hunting.
That's how I'm named after theRose Bowl assembly.
Going Rose Bowl Bundy hunting.
That's what he called it.

(01:08:58):
Isn't that nuts?
You know, and taking to all thedifferent bowl assemblies and
then giving the parts.
You know, scaring the crap outof you guys.

SPEAKER_00 (01:09:11):
Oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_01 (01:09:13):
Well, they needed to scare people in after they were
leaving like crazy after 75.
Yeah.
Like, and it did.
It feared them in.
Where they were like, oh, if weleave the organization, we don't
want to leave demonized.
And it's like, I mean,seriously, you guys were so
demonized, it wasn't funny.
Just, I've never, like, seen thedemonized reaction of Jehovah's

(01:09:38):
Witnesses back then was over thetop.
It was over the top.
I mean, all of a sudden, theadults started beating their
kids with wooden spoons, thatkind of demonization of just
mothers and fathers draggingtheir kids down the aisle,

(01:09:59):
dislocating their shoulders, youknow, and hands over the mouth,
mouth-popping wedding rings,chewing on paper towels with a
bloody mouth.
I mean, do you know how littleboys like you, you remember
sucking on a paper towel duringthe meeting?

SPEAKER_00 (01:10:22):
My mom was swapping me with the truth book real
quick.

SPEAKER_01 (01:10:27):
Yeah?

SPEAKER_00 (01:10:28):
People would hear a sound in the hall, but they
didn't know where it came from.

SPEAKER_01 (01:10:32):
God.

SPEAKER_00 (01:10:33):
She was fast.

SPEAKER_01 (01:10:35):
No, the little boys mainly would be sucking on a
paper towel because they'd gettheir mouth popped.

SPEAKER_00 (01:10:41):
Oh, my goodness.

SPEAKER_01 (01:10:43):
You know, getting bloody in the inside of your
mouth.
And I need a paper towel.
And then sucking on a papertowel.
The wooden spooning and knowingthat that was why.
That was intense.
That was really intense.

(01:11:04):
Having to watch and knowing whyall the parents were all of a
sudden throwing out all theirkids' toys.
You know, I need to, you know,cool.
Cause you know what, you know,why witness kids had to throw
out all their toys all the timewas because the parents blamed
the kids is bad behavior andtantrums at the meeting and

(01:11:27):
stuff on their toys.
Like, Oh, you know, maybe theirtoys are making them throw a
tantrum at the meeting.
And it's like, maybe becauseyou're a bad parent is why, you
know?
Maybe because you're in a psychocult.
You know?
I mean, the bloody mouse that Isaw.

(01:11:49):
You remember back in the 80sseeing little kids with the
black baby teeth?
You remember seeing, you know,sometimes kids that had the
black baby teeth?

SPEAKER_00 (01:12:02):
Like they were rotten?

SPEAKER_01 (01:12:03):
Yeah, like just black baby teeth.
There was...
After 1982, there were a lot oflittle boys in the organization
that had little black baby orbrown, little brown or black
baby teeth.
And when I got older, I was atthe dentist when I had my own

(01:12:26):
kid and she had bumped hertooth.
And he goes, it might turn brownor it might, you know, because
when you bump your baby teethreal bad.
That's what happens.
And I'm like, oh, that's why,yeah, it's trauma of when you
have brown or black baby teethis because your baby teeth get

(01:12:48):
knocked and traumatized.
And it turns out they diebecause of that, you know.
And there were a lot from, youknow, 82 to...
You know, 1990, a lot of thoselittle kids had black and brown
baby teeth.

(01:13:09):
And it was because they weregetting popped in the mouth too
much.

SPEAKER_00 (01:13:14):
I

SPEAKER_01 (01:13:18):
don't know how much it's happening now, but in the
80s, it happened a lot.

SPEAKER_00 (01:13:23):
Yeah, I don't think it happens now.
It's a lot of parents don'tbelieve in spanking kids.

SPEAKER_01 (01:13:28):
Yeah, I firmly believe that's why, you know,
child abuse is being made morepublic.
And when kids started to callthe cops on their own parents
was Jehovah's Witness kidscalling the cops on their own
parents.
You could be arrested forspanking me this bad at the
meeting.
And kids were calling the copson their own parents.

(01:13:51):
And I think a lot of those kidsthat did that were witness kids.
A lot of them.
Because I know I did, and I gota lot of other kids, you should
call the cops on your parents ifthey're doing that, and
da-da-da-da-da-da-da, that a lotof that stems from child abuse
happening, and the witnesses'kids calling the cops on their

(01:14:12):
own parents.

SPEAKER_00 (01:14:14):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (01:14:14):
On their witness parents.

SPEAKER_00 (01:14:16):
I don't think that happened too much on the black
community.

SPEAKER_01 (01:14:20):
Yeah.
I don't know.
No.

SPEAKER_00 (01:14:22):
No.
Black kids didn't call the cops.

SPEAKER_01 (01:14:28):
No?

SPEAKER_00 (01:14:29):
No, not on their parents.

SPEAKER_01 (01:14:31):
Us white Jehovah's Witness kids did, though.

SPEAKER_00 (01:14:35):
I can see that.
No.
We would have got our ass kickedin front of the police.

SPEAKER_01 (01:14:41):
Yeah.
No, you know, I do remember, youknow, I had a Black boyfriend,
like one of my first boyfriends.

SPEAKER_00 (01:14:49):
What?

SPEAKER_01 (01:14:50):
Yeah, what?

SPEAKER_00 (01:14:52):
Can't tell me that.

SPEAKER_01 (01:14:54):
Oh, yeah.
No, I'm friends with him onFacebook, actually.
I talk to him quite often.
But he said the same thing.
He said the same thing.
That he goes, no, this is justnormal.
I said, well, not for me.
It's not normal.

(01:15:15):
That's not normal.
And so I would get all upset.
And he'd just be like, oh, no,it's normal.
I'm like, that's not normal.
He goes, yeah, it is.
I'm like, no, it's not.

SPEAKER_00 (01:15:24):
Maybe

SPEAKER_01 (01:15:37):
that's why Michael Jackson talked like a woman is
because his mom kept beating himbetween the legs with a wooden

SPEAKER_00 (01:15:45):
spoon.
Am

SPEAKER_01 (01:15:51):
I too outspoken?

SPEAKER_00 (01:15:54):
No, I said Michael Jackson was a soft-spoken man,
that's all.

SPEAKER_01 (01:15:59):
Oh, soft-spoken man.
Effeminate.
Sallow, sanctimonious, likeJesus, according to Watchtower.

SPEAKER_00 (01:16:10):
So will you...
We talked about this the otherday.
Are you still coming to, like,Kingdom Halls?

SPEAKER_01 (01:16:20):
Do I what?

SPEAKER_00 (01:16:22):
Are you still going to Kingdom Halls to send your
message?

SPEAKER_01 (01:16:28):
Oh, sometimes.
Well, I went to the KingdomHall, and then I went to the
Assembly, and then I had tospend three and a half weeks in
a lunatic asylum.
So, no, I don't want to goanymore.

SPEAKER_00 (01:16:44):
What, they called on you or something when you showed
up at the Assembly?

SPEAKER_01 (01:16:50):
No, I called and the cops don't get it.
The cops still don't getapostasy, which is really
upsetting.
So I do want to say to otherapostates, at this point, be
careful.
Because what we deal with, theauthorities don't have a clue.

(01:17:11):
And when they see it, like whatwe're talking about, you get
what I'm saying.
You know, when I talk about, oh,Uncle Tony Morris and this and
this, you know, like when peoplesay, well, Tony Morris got
kicked off the governing bodyand beards and pants.
And, you know, when you saybeards and pants and Uncle Tony

(01:17:33):
Morris, and when you starttalking Watchtower to the cops,
that sounds crazy to them.

SPEAKER_00 (01:17:43):
of

SPEAKER_01 (01:17:44):
what we're going through in the apostate
community.
The police think that that's theravings of a lunatic.
And it's like, no, we all knowabout Uncle Tony and it's this
and it's that.
And talking about even likeStephen Lett or talking about a
demonized smurf running down theaisle at Kingdom Hall.

(01:18:04):
Do you know what that soundslike to a police officer?

SPEAKER_00 (01:18:07):
I know what it sounded like to me.

SPEAKER_01 (01:18:10):
Yeah, it sounds like lunatic.

SPEAKER_00 (01:18:12):
And

SPEAKER_01 (01:18:13):
then I say to them, well, you don't understand.
I'm Smurf Girl.
I'm XJW Smurf Girl.
And, you know, Toni Morris gotkicked off the governing body
and its beards and its pants.
And, you know, Mark Sandersongrew a beard.
And they're thinking I'm crazy.
And then I realized, you know,it does sound really crazy.
And I admit it.
So I took it like a woman.

(01:18:35):
which is more than taking it asa Jehovah's Witness man.
And I sat in that hospital forthree and a half weeks.
And I'm like, no, all you got.
And I sat there.
I said, I'm not taking any meds.
All you got to do, doctor, isGoogle me.
There's Google me.
Until finally we were at astandoff.

(01:18:58):
And I'm like, you know, Dr.
Nima.
I said, you got a computersitting right there.
I was sitting at his desk.
And I'm like, Google me.
And he goes, because he goes,you still, you know, like you
still think, you know, thatyou're like on a show.
Like, and I'm like, I doYouTube.

(01:19:20):
You still think you have a show?
Yeah, I got a show.
This goes to Dr.
Nima, by the way.
You, Dr.
Nima.
You still think you got a showand you document like a
documentary for, yeah.
It's called XJW Network.
And it's called XJW Smurf Girl.

(01:19:42):
And so I said, doctor, and ithad been three weeks.
I was court ordered.
I said, Google me, please.
Wow, you got the internet?
Okay, fine.
So he goes, what is it?
I'm like, XJW Smurf Girl.
He Googles it.
And I said, see, right there.
That's me.
This right here, that's me.

(01:20:03):
Because I'm like, do you notknow what a Jehovah's Witness
is?
No, I know what a Jehovah'sWitness is.
And, you know, are you stillreally upset of your depression
about this, you know, beards andpants?
Like, he didn't even get it.
I'm like, there's thousands ofpeople online that get it.

(01:20:26):
You know?
Yeah, beards and pants and TonyMorris.
And, you know, but to...
A psychiatrist, it sounds crazy.
To a police officer, it soundscrazy.
So to apostates, just know thatwhen we're ranting and raving
about beards and pants and ToniMorris, that to the cops, that

(01:20:48):
sometimes sounds lunatic.
And so we need to keep it toourself at this point.
And then maybe with protests,also don't do a protest by
yourself.
Like words of warning.
Don't go to the assembly byyourself.

SPEAKER_00 (01:21:08):
It's not safe.

SPEAKER_01 (01:21:09):
Like it's not safe.
These witnesses, okay.
You know, I just kind of bring,I'm just kind of thinking about
this right now.
Do not go to the assembly byyourself.
Don't go to the kingdom hall andcrash it by yourself.
Because they have done things atthis point that when an apostate

(01:21:30):
says it to a police officer, thepolice officer looks at the
apostate like we are crazy.
Like, why are you so upset aboutbeards?
Why are you so upset aboutpants?
Who's this Tony Morrischaracter?
Why are you so, you know, andthen also then, you know, the

(01:21:51):
pedophilia, the trafficking.
Tony Morris, beards, pants,blah, blah, blah, all the things
we talk about in the communityon a regular basis will demonize
Smurf.
They look at us like we areraving lunatics.
And that's what the Jehovah'sWitnesses has done to us.

(01:22:16):
And not one of the things thatI'm bringing up is not 100%
true.
So be careful to anyone of theKingdom Hall goers or Kirk
Crashers.
Be careful what you say to apolice officer because you could
end up, like me, being mistakenfor a crazy person because the

(01:22:40):
witness is in a crazy situationright now.

SPEAKER_00 (01:22:43):
But because of what you just said, do you think it's
even wise to go crash a meeting?

SPEAKER_01 (01:22:50):
No.
No.
Not at all.
Unless you can crash it and getout of there within a few
minutes.
Yeah.
Do you know, but I wouldsuggest, um, not, or if you do
go with at least 10 other peopleor like 10 people total so that

(01:23:11):
you have numbers on your sideand to not get into all the
beards, pants, tony morrisdetails to the cops keep it as
simple as possible because theactual details are so insane to
a police officer they don't getit you know they they don't

(01:23:33):
understand they don't understandthe doctrine changes they don't
understand having a governingbody member kicked off they
don't understand um like to goeven about um Overlapping
generation to a police officer.
Yeah,

SPEAKER_00 (01:23:50):
they won't do it.
They're going

SPEAKER_01 (01:23:51):
to think you're nuts.

SPEAKER_00 (01:23:52):
Yeah.
So you would recommend justkeeping the fight online?

SPEAKER_01 (01:24:00):
Yes.
And at this point, the ones thatare remaining are so few, and
they're seriously, I've seenthem with my own eyes, and not a
single one is worth it anyway.

SPEAKER_00 (01:24:13):
Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (01:24:14):
They're so worthless.
I hate to say it, but I think,Mitch, you were the last
remaining decent person toleave.
And now that you're gone ninemonths ago, the last remaining
people are not worth our effort.
And it's time.
That's why I'm a differentperson.
It's like, no, now it's time forclosure.

(01:24:35):
The last remaining decentindividual is gone.
And all the other ones are theworthless pedohiders that...
But that's your anointing,Mitch.

(01:24:56):
You're not anointed without yourring on.

SPEAKER_00 (01:24:58):
That's

SPEAKER_01 (01:25:00):
what makes you

SPEAKER_00 (01:25:01):
anointed.

SPEAKER_01 (01:25:04):
God, I can't see without my Uncle Tony glasses.

SPEAKER_00 (01:25:08):
Love it.

SPEAKER_01 (01:25:09):
Oh, see, I'm Uncle Tony again.
Uh-oh.

SPEAKER_00 (01:25:12):
He's a

SPEAKER_01 (01:25:15):
cross-dresser.
He's a cross-dresser.
That was a ring that you tookoff, right?

SPEAKER_00 (01:25:22):
Yeah, I took my ring off.
You said I was the last decentone.
I was like, oh.

SPEAKER_01 (01:25:28):
I know.
You have now been removed fromthe governing body.
Oh.
No.
This

SPEAKER_00 (01:25:41):
is the hand I held the Bible with, so the ring just
flashed the audience all thetime.

SPEAKER_01 (01:25:47):
It's not the hand that held the songbook, is it?
The back of the songbook guy.
You're not the back of the song,Mitch, the back of the songbook
guy.
No.

SPEAKER_00 (01:25:57):
They would have needed a large

SPEAKER_01 (01:25:59):
frame.
Once you go black of thesongbook, you can't go back.
That's a black of the songbook.
This is Watchtower After Darktimes, too.

SPEAKER_00 (01:26:19):
It wasn't me.

SPEAKER_01 (01:26:23):
I don't know.
Let's see.
Am I talking to the real back ofthe songbook guy?
It's Mitch, the back of thesongbook guy.

SPEAKER_00 (01:26:33):
Let

SPEAKER_01 (01:26:36):
me see your wrist, Mitch.
Let me see your wrist.
Let me see your wrist.
Does it match the back of thesongbook?

SPEAKER_00 (01:26:43):
No, mine is darker.

SPEAKER_01 (01:26:45):
Let me see.

SPEAKER_00 (01:26:46):
It's

SPEAKER_01 (01:26:46):
totally you.
No, it's Cecil.
It's Cecil, the back of thesongbook guy.
But Mitch, you come in second.

UNKNOWN (01:26:54):
Yes, there we go.

SPEAKER_01 (01:26:58):
We found them, ladies and gentlemen.
No, that wrist is too thick.
That's a thick wrist.
Look at that thing.

SPEAKER_00 (01:27:08):
Arch it.
You got to arch it.
That's not me on the songbook.

SPEAKER_01 (01:27:12):
There we go.

SPEAKER_00 (01:27:13):
That's not me on the songbook.
I'm telling you.
Yeah, and

SPEAKER_01 (01:27:17):
then look at me all crook-eyed.
Hey, let's recreate the back.
Oh, wait.
I'll hold something.

SPEAKER_00 (01:27:23):
I got

SPEAKER_01 (01:27:25):
something.
We thank you,

SPEAKER_00 (01:27:32):
Jill.
That's not me.

SPEAKER_01 (01:27:33):
Stop gawking at me, Mitch.

SPEAKER_00 (01:27:35):
Stop

SPEAKER_01 (01:27:35):
gawking at me with your weird-ass songbook rest.

SPEAKER_00 (01:27:38):
That's not me.
If it was me, I would have toldthem I want to be the only one
in the picture.

SPEAKER_01 (01:27:50):
Yeah.
Oh, I could probably crop youout.
Oh.
Let's really mess with thesongbook.
Oh, wait, my phone.

SPEAKER_00 (01:27:59):
It wasn't me.
It

SPEAKER_01 (01:28:01):
wasn't you.
No.
Ye who protest too much.
I think Mitch was the back ofthe songbook guy.
I think you're the back of thesongbook guy.
You're so cheesy.

(01:28:22):
No, that wouldn't just be thefunniest thing ever.
God.
Yeah, see, you can do it sogood.
No, Cecil does it better.
Cecil does it.
I got the hand that held thesongbook.
It's totally him.
Is it you?
It's totally you.

(01:28:44):
It is totally you.
Because you know.
That

SPEAKER_00 (01:28:48):
guy wasn't wearing glasses.
He wasn't wearing glasses on thesongbook.

SPEAKER_01 (01:28:52):
Yeah, well, I'm going to put glass.
It's totally you.
The back of the songbook, guys.
Mitch, you heard it here first,everybody.
From Uncle Tony.
We just, ow.
And you know what?
Because I'm dressed like adetective.
I'm a detective.

(01:29:13):
Your Honor, I changed the plea,Mitch's plea, to guilty as
charged.

SPEAKER_00 (01:29:21):
I would have told you that.

SPEAKER_01 (01:29:22):
I was being the best songbook guy.
I'm Sherlock's

SPEAKER_00 (01:29:28):
worker.
You've known me when we wereteenagers.
I would have told you that.

SPEAKER_01 (01:29:35):
Yeah, I know Big Mitch.
Big Mitch and his BMW going toSkate Country.
I've known Mitch for a longtime.

SPEAKER_00 (01:29:42):
Mitch.
Where'd you get Big Mitch from?

SPEAKER_01 (01:29:46):
You.

SPEAKER_00 (01:29:47):
That's my disfellowshipped name.

SPEAKER_01 (01:29:50):
Mitch.
Your disfellowship name?

SPEAKER_00 (01:29:53):
Big Mitch is my disfellowship name.

SPEAKER_01 (01:29:55):
Yeah, you were Big Mitch at Skate Country.
Sexy Big Mitch in his BMW.
No, you don't think I didn'thear about you?
Little chocolate thunder from,you know, come on.
You were a little chocolaterabbit.
I could crack you open like anegg.

SPEAKER_00 (01:30:19):
See, you

SPEAKER_01 (01:30:22):
even admitted, no, I'm the back of the songbook
guy.
I knew it.
I knew it.
It's okay.

SPEAKER_00 (01:30:27):
We forgive you.
That wrist was thin.

SPEAKER_01 (01:30:31):
No, no, it is seesaw.
But trust me, it's seesaw.
It was seesaw perk.
I think it's seesaw perk.
But yeah, seesaw the back of thepenis.
It's penis hand seesaw the backof the songbook guy.

SPEAKER_00 (01:30:43):
That was a small wrist.
That's not me.

SPEAKER_01 (01:30:46):
Yeah, I know.
Yeah, if it was Mitch, you'dknow it.
If it was you, we'd know it.
It'd be like, oh, man.
Do you see the size of thatguy's wrists?
Huge.
That's

SPEAKER_00 (01:31:04):
what you saw.
I can't believe you.

SPEAKER_01 (01:31:09):
Terrible.
This has been fun.
It's been an hour and a half, sohow long are we going to take
this for?

SPEAKER_00 (01:31:16):
We should wrap it up now.
Oh, my God.
Before we get kicked off theair.

SPEAKER_01 (01:31:22):
I know.
It's been fun.
I enjoyed being Uncle Tony.
Thank you.
I

SPEAKER_00 (01:31:29):
enjoyed talking with Uncle Tony.
I miss Uncle Tony.

SPEAKER_01 (01:31:34):
I know.
I'm sorry.
God.
Goodbye to people.
I'm really sorry abouteverything.

SPEAKER_00 (01:31:41):
I posted a picture of him today on my TikTok
Instagram in honor of him.

SPEAKER_01 (01:31:48):
Oh, yeah?

SPEAKER_00 (01:31:49):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (01:31:50):
Good.
Poor Uncle Tony.
I know when he does his hat likethis, he's always got to do the
front and the back.
Uncle Tony.
God.
And he's got an outside.
This is his inside hat, by theway.
This is his inside

SPEAKER_00 (01:32:04):
hat.
Oh, wow.

SPEAKER_01 (01:32:07):
He's got an outside hat.
I'll wear the outside hat.
I got the outside hat, too.
Do you like my tie?
Look at how wide it is.
Look at how wide.
Wide.

SPEAKER_00 (01:32:19):
I know.

SPEAKER_01 (01:32:23):
Yeah.
It's as wide as your forehead.

SPEAKER_00 (01:32:31):
Wow.
Anything you want to say?
Anything you want to say to wrapup?

SPEAKER_01 (01:32:41):
No, it's just Uncle Tony.
If you do talk to somebody, Iwill never forgive you.
If you talk to Lloyd Evansfirst, I will seriously never
forgive you.
And hopefully he'll talk to us.
I say that within the next year,it took like three years for
Crisis of Conscience to comeout.

(01:33:02):
So I'm thinking within the next12 months that if he is going to
write a book, hopefully he'swriting it now.
Nice.
And, you know, that he does andthat he's truthful.
But, you know, if it, oh my God,can you imagine the whole world

(01:33:22):
will come crashing down?
Can you imagine?

SPEAKER_00 (01:33:25):
I would need an autographed copy.

SPEAKER_01 (01:33:28):
I know.
I'll sign it for you.
But, you know, his autographain't as good as mine.
Mine's better.

SPEAKER_00 (01:33:37):
That's true.
That's true.

SPEAKER_01 (01:33:40):
His ain't nothing without...
He wouldn't be nothing withoutme either.
So it's like, whatever.
He wouldn't be nothing.
Some two-bit governing bodymember.
Now he's famous.
He's famous.

SPEAKER_00 (01:33:53):
I

SPEAKER_01 (01:33:54):
told you I'd make you famous, Uncle Tony.

SPEAKER_00 (01:33:57):
You did.

SPEAKER_01 (01:33:59):
He's famous.
I remember saying that to him.
I was like, oh, no, Uncle Tony.
You want to be famous?
You want to be famous, buddy?
I'll make you famous.
He's famous now.
He can be famous.
Wow.
I know.
Now it's time for arrogance.

UNKNOWN (01:34:19):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (01:34:20):
Now is time for arrogance.
There's no arguing with aJehovah's Witness anymore.
There's no point of talkingother doctrine.
It's like, no, you're a fool.
You're just a bunch of stupidfools.
There's no point.
And now it's time for usapostates to mock, have fun,

(01:34:42):
have a good time.
The pressure's off.
They're stupid.
They have to cover their faceswith hair because they're
embarrassed.
And they can do so.
And, you know, now's when theparty gets started.
You know?
You know, man, I feel like awoman.
You know?

(01:35:02):
I feel like a woman.
Now it's time to party.

SPEAKER_00 (01:35:06):
That's why I showed up.
I heard it was going to be aparty.

SPEAKER_01 (01:35:09):
Yep.
I know.
I'm pushing the red button.

SPEAKER_00 (01:35:11):
There's going to be a

SPEAKER_01 (01:35:12):
party.

SPEAKER_00 (01:35:13):
I'm here now.
Big Mitch is here.

SPEAKER_01 (01:35:15):
I know.
Whoop! Penis hand Mitch, theback of the songbook guy.
You know, you should be a wristmodel.
You should be a wrist model,Mitch.
Look at the wrist.
Be a wrist model.

(01:35:36):
We should recreate it.
Oh, my God.
Because, you know, I know how toedit.
We should recreate the back ofthe songbook.

SPEAKER_00 (01:35:46):
I'll have my daughter take a picture of my
wrist.
And hold

SPEAKER_01 (01:35:54):
a songbook.

SPEAKER_00 (01:35:55):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (01:35:57):
And I will edit it and we'll make our own back of
the songbook.
How awesome would that be?

SPEAKER_00 (01:36:04):
Oh my goodness.
I love it.

SPEAKER_01 (01:36:05):
Mirth Girl and Mitch, back of the songbook.

SPEAKER_00 (01:36:08):
Wow.
And have it standing next to me.

SPEAKER_01 (01:36:13):
Too good.
I know you're talking aboutSmurf Girl during the meeting.
Just keep worshipping at theshrine of Smurf Girl, Mitch.
Just keep worshipping at thatshrine.
You know, that's a term, youknow.
Worshipping at the shrine ofSmurf Girl is when brothers
would go into the bathroom andjerk off when I was at the
meeting.
That's totally, I'm not kidding.

(01:36:34):
It was like, oh, they're in thebathroom for 20 minutes.
They're worshipping at theshrine of Smurf Girl.
They made a deposit.
Make a deposit real quick.
You know that was a term.
Yes.
And then that was when westarted to install toilet seat
covers at the Kingdom Hall.

(01:36:55):
Remember when toilet seat coverswere new?
I swear to God, toilet seatcovers were invented because of
all the brothers worshipping atthe Shrine of Smurf Girl and the
sisters didn't want toaccidentally get something.
That was the joke.
Toilet seat covers...
were invented because theJehovah's Witness brothers spent

(01:37:17):
too much time in the bathroom atthe game hall.

SPEAKER_00 (01:37:23):
Swear

SPEAKER_01 (01:37:24):
to you.
I mean, that's like the joke.
That's the urban legend.

SPEAKER_00 (01:37:29):
Of

SPEAKER_01 (01:37:31):
toilet seat covers.
I swear to you.
But anyway.
All right.
Well, let's wrap it up.
Wrap it up, Mitch.

SPEAKER_00 (01:37:40):
Hey, I hope y'all enjoyed this.
I was surprised by some thingsas much as you all were.
So I hope you enjoyed it.
You asked for more Smurf Girland I delivered.
I gave you more Smurf Girl andwe had a bonus.
We had Uncle Tony and SmurfGirl.
So I hope y'all enjoyed theepisode.

(01:38:03):
Look, either of us, she did it.
She even did it this afternoonand found us It talked about the
show.
It talked about us.
So look us up.
We're on social mediaeverywhere.
We have this channel.
Help us.
Help us make this channel grow.
Like, share the videos.

(01:38:24):
Subscribe.
We thank all of you all.
And thank you, Smurf Girl.

SPEAKER_01 (01:38:29):
Thank you.
Thank you, Uncle Tony, for suchgreat entertainment, too.
It was my pleasure, Peanut.

SPEAKER_00 (01:38:37):
Thanks,

SPEAKER_01 (01:38:38):
Mitch, for having me on.

SPEAKER_00 (01:38:40):
Oh, yeah, any time, Unc.
Yeah, I'm going to go take thesewrist kicks, and we will catch
you all on Tuesday.

SPEAKER_01 (01:38:53):
Yep, love you guys.
Thanks for tuning in.

SPEAKER_00 (01:38:56):
Love you.
Have a great weekend.
Talk to you soon.

SPEAKER_01 (01:38:59):
Bye.
Love you.

SPEAKER_00 (01:39:01):
Love you.

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Ep. 03 (audio only) - WATCHTOWER AFTER DARK - UNCLE TONY MORRIS EXCLUSIVE w/SMURF GIRL & MITCH

Episode Transcript

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Ep. 03 (audio only) - WATCHTOWER AFTER DARK - UNCLE TONY MORRIS EXCLUSIVE w/SMURF GIRL & MITCH