Grasshopper Talk - Chrissa #11 - Wax On Wax Off

Episode Transcript
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(00:09):
Welcome to Wax On Wax Off, the podcast where a teenager gains
wisdom and insight from pioneersand innovators that have come
before in search of how to win in every facet of life and
change the world. I'm your host, Solomon Cole, and
let's get into today's episode. So for today's episode it is
episode two of Grasshopper Talk.It is also the season finale.

(00:30):
I'm planning to start season 2 up in September.
I will be letting you guys know specific dates on social media,
but for today's episode, I'm going to be interviewing and
talking to and really like gleaming knowledge from a good
friend of mine, Krissa. Krissa is amazing.

(00:50):
She is. Super knowledgeable in a lot of
things, spiritual and a lot of things personal success.
She has really done a whole 180 flip on what she believes, who
she is and and really like her personal health and I'm really
excited to to hear all about this.

(01:12):
Thank you so much for giving allthe support that you have.
If you wouldn't mind. It means a lot if you share
because I really want to spread this.
Podcast and this knowledge and this with them.
Wisdom with as many people as possible.
And it would mean a lot if you could do that.
So please share on social media,send it to your friends on text

(01:32):
messages, send it to your parents, your siblings, whoever.
It would mean a lot. Thank you so much and let's get
into today's episode. Krista, number one, I want to
say thank you for being on the podcast.
And #2, I wanted to kind of start this off by kind of asking
or getting you to tell the people a little bit about

(01:55):
yourself. What are your like main
passions? Okay.
So I consider myself a very passionate person.
I love a lot of things. One of the biggest things just
I'm a nerd. I love learning.
I just love exploring things that most people don't look at

(02:19):
and thinking deeper about them because I love that feeling
whenever it clicks. That feeling is like the best
feeling in the world I love of poetry.
I love reading and writing it slam poetry.

(02:40):
I love just reading in general. That shirt you wore, it was like
sexy people read. Yeah, sexy people read.
It's from a reading competition.Yeah.
Whenever I say I'm a nerd, I'm anerd.
Reading competition, it's fine. We got first place too.
There you go. Yeah.
What can I say? You like a speed reader or what?
No. So you just like read out loud,

(03:02):
like vocally or what's? Yeah, they just write you.
But no, no, no, you just they give you a list of 30 books and
then yeah, and then we split it up with the team and then we
answer questions based off of it.
Ohh, so it's like retention. Got it.
Yeah, it's like a test out loud.Yeah, that's awesome.
Yeah, I do that. I'd be terrible at that.
My reading retention is like, I have to read a book multiple

(03:24):
times to get it. Down.
I'm not that great at it either.I wasn't a huge contribution,
I'm not gonna lie. Yeah, but you got first place,
so you have done some deep exploration into who you are.
What have you found? What have I found I.

(03:45):
Well, I found myself. I I kind of have gone through a
lot of different stages of my life and that's I'm 18 years
old. Like, I I know that I have so
much more to experience, but I kind of went from just being

(04:07):
terrified of the world. I went from not knowing who the
heck I was. And then I went to actually
having a really good relationship with myself, and I
kind of learned how to be my ownbest friend.
And that makes all the difference in the world because
you learn this in the in the realization that you are stuck

(04:30):
with yourself for the rest of this life, that you're stuck
spending it in your own head. You have to decide what you do
with that. And so I kind of decided that I
was really. Tired of just accepting that I
had to bear with myself and I learned how to appreciate myself

(04:51):
and appreciate this life and be thankful and show gratitude for
everything you know, you know. How did you, how did you do
that? Like, how did you become friends
with yourself? Because for me, I I kind of
will. It's like, I saw this meme.
It was like. I didn't know.
I thought I loved music. Turns out I just hated myself.

(05:14):
Like, you just don't wanna be around yourself because.
And so you listen to music, or you listen to podcasts, or you
watch TV, or you play video games, or you do whatever to
escape yourself. How did you, instead of escaping
yourself, how did you become friends with yourself?
I would say the biggest thing isforgiveness.
Like I used to, if I made one mistake, if I was in one

(05:36):
interaction, I said something that was like weird or awkward,
which I still do that all the time to this day.
You know that I would beat myself up over it so much and I
would just tear myself down for it.
And I realized that that was doing nothing for me.
It really wasn't. And that was all that that was
doing is making me. Not be able to trust myself and

(05:59):
then I would do more weird and awkward things all the time.
So just learning how to forgive yourself, learning how to.
Whenever you do something that makes you proud, just be able to
be proud. Yeah, like, appreciate yourself.
Yeah, appreciate yourself. And the other thing is, is
eliminate all those things in your head that just want to tear

(06:24):
yourself down like all those. I I try really hard not to speak
negatively to myself and and youhave to force yourself to talk
to yourself like a friend, like like if something happens and I
notice myself talking to my myself in a certain way, I ask
myself would I talk to my best friend like this, you know?

(06:47):
Yeah, so kind of like viewing yourself as like 2 entities in a
way, like your consciousness andthen like would you say your
mind or? Actually, that's really
interesting because I I'm very interested in inner dialogues.
I was listening to a podcast about this recently about how
some people don't have inner monologues.
Yeah, that's me, literally. It was really, I was watching

(07:08):
Big Bang Theory and The Big BangTheory.
Like the two guys who like, talkto each other and are like like
constantly, like arguing and debating and being like, no,
you're wrong about this random superhero thing.
That's what goes on in my brain.I have like, the two guys going
on constantly commenting in my mind, like it's my whole.
Life. It's like I have like two people
who kind of like each other but kind of don't like each other in

(07:29):
my. Head Yeah, I learned.
And I actually went through the space cuz for AP research.
We had to do our research study and we decide what we do.
And one of the things that I wasconsidering doing was.
Just looking at people, how the structure of people's minds are,
like, how they structure their inner dialogues.
And I've learned that peoples aren't the same.

(07:51):
Like peoples are really different.
And so I realized that I'm almost always talking to
somebody else in my head. Like, I will analyze my thoughts
by analyzing it with somebody else, whether that's a friend,
whether that's like some stranger I create.
I I've had so many conversationsthat going on to this podcast,
just analyzing things, yeah. Totally.

(08:13):
And like what you say where it'sare both the people you are.
They just like random people. It's no, it's two people that
are me. Well, it's like this version of
me that I don't like and then myself.
Yeah, so it's like the devil. Yeah, yeah, it's like just me
and the devil, but not actually the devil.
It's just like this kind of likeannoying thing that keeps
existing, yeah. Yeah it's interesting cuz I also

(08:35):
have a friend and she told me. That she realized that she
doesn't like being a leader, like she doesn't like taking
charge. So that whenever she has to be
in a position where she tells people what to do or to lead,
she visualizes herself telling herself what to do.
And I thought that was interesting.
Yeah, that's pretty wild. Yeah, and I have another friend
who said that he just like, he doesn't speak in English in his

(08:58):
mind, like it isn't a different language.
It's just he doesn't speak words, but it's like.
Just some other language you created.
That's weird. Like the inner dialogue is like
pretty interesting. There's a book that you should
read. It's called The Power of Now.
It's by Eckhart totally. And he he talks about like the
inner dialogue and how you are not your mind.
And like, it's like you and thenyour mind and your mind kind of

(09:21):
wants to run things and you haveto keep constantly, like
separating yourself as like 2 entities.
I just started the book like yesterday, but it's really,
really good. You want to start a podcast on
religion and why we exist? Why do you want to start this
podcast? So I'd be starting with my best

(09:42):
friend, not myself. A different best friend,
different best friend. Anyway, yeah, her name is
Charlotte Maker, which I love her dearly.
She's incredible. She's like myself, but in a
different font. That's what I always call her.
We kind of went through this whole journey together of just
realization. And just a questioning, you

(10:03):
know, we, I guess if I start at the beginning, I'll just explain
how we we went on it because I love this story.
So we were both raised Catholic by our dads and then our moms
are my mom's Christian. She's like not denominational.
Her mom's not religious at all. But we ended up going on this.

(10:30):
It's called NCYC. It's a national, wait, national
Catholic youth conference. And it was actually like, it was
really cool. At this point, I think I was
leaning more so on agnostic thananything else.
But so we went to NCYC and we kind of both decided we're going

(10:52):
to view this with as open of themind as we possibly can.
And so they had, like, where if you wanted to, you could go to
confession, which I don't know how familiar people are with
Catholic practices, but that's pretty much just like, as it's
called, you go and you confess your sins to increase.

(11:14):
And so we, we decided we're like, you know what, we're going
to go and do this. And we were in line because
there's a really big line everybody wanted to go to
confession. This is.
And so we were talking and we were just going over everything
that we didn't understand, you know, everything that we wanted
to know more of. And we were like, you know what?

(11:35):
Let's whenever we go in, we'll ask the priest about it.
And we really expect that much result.
But we went in, and I remember right before we, they separated
us to go with their priest. She turned to me and she was
like, you know, you know what I've realized?
And I was like what she's like. I don't understand what love is.

(11:58):
Yeah, that'll come back. And so we, they separated us.
We both went with our priest. And for both of us, it was just
this such an interesting experience because we could go
at a reaction both of us. We never expected that we would,
because whenever you think of a Catholic priest, you don't
really think about. Okay this I I don't know what

(12:21):
everybody thinks about, but I don't necessarily think about
open mindedness, you know? But I I mean, I talked to this
guy about reincarnation. I talked and he viewed it with
an open mind like I talked abouthim.
Just with all my doubts, everything, all my questions.
And he sat there. We were there for at least an
hour. We were the last ones there.

(12:42):
And then finally he's like, hey,like, I'm sorry, but like I
can't keep you here all night. And he's like, if you want to
reach out to me, if you want to e-mail me, like please do.
And he was amazing. Like, he was incredible.
He told me actually he had a near death experience which if
you're not familiar, it's just whenever you died for a short
period of time or you're like pronounced dead and then you
come back to life. And he told me about how he.

(13:04):
He whenever he was younger he was fully atheist.
You know he was raised Catholic but he was atheist.
He was a metal head. He grew all his hair.
He said he was a womanizer like he just he was a drug addict.
And he said that one day he Od'dand he died and in that period

(13:30):
of time a. Mother Mary came to him.
Jesus came to him and his guardian Angel and his guardian
Angel took him and showed him hell and told him if you don't
change your ways, this is where you're going.
And then he said, like, he came back and he said that he then
spent 20 years after that tryingto figure out where he landed on

(13:54):
religion because he did not wantto be Catholic because that was
the way that he was raised. But he realized after seeing
Mother Mary that that. Ultimately, he believed that
Catholicism was the truth. And that was not a conversation
I expected to have, but it was, it was so interesting.
And anyway, so then we get out of confession and I've seen my

(14:16):
friend's been waiting there for me for half an hour.
I felt so bad. But she, I was like, I was like,
I have to tell you everything about this.
And she's like, no, I have to tell you everything about what I
just experienced. And so we both had, it turns
out, these incredible experiences.
She said that she went in and the first question she asked,
she was like, she was like, who is God.

(14:36):
And the first thing that the priest that she was with said
was God is love. And I was just so like it felt
we call them parallels. Whenever something happens and
then something, it just feels full circle and.
Like, she walked out. She told me I don't understand
what love is. Yeah, And then she comes to find
out. Thank God is love.

(14:57):
Yeah, that's really awesome. Yeah.
And they had like, a super interesting conversation, too.
Like the priest was like, was like, you know what I don't
like? Like they were talking about
God's pronouns. He was like, he was like, I
don't like like God is like a. Like it's God.
Like he he doesn't have to necessarily have to be a guy.

(15:17):
Like he's a. Supernatural Dean, Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. And it was just so interesting.
And then come to find out, the group that we were with had left
and gone to the hotel and we were left in this huge stadium
alone in an unfamiliar city. And we were just like, we we
just broke out laughing wheneverthey left because we're like,
what the heck? How do they leave two teenage

(15:40):
girls alone in this unfamiliar city?
And we call them. And we were like, and nobody was
concerned. That was the thing too, that
nobody was concerned. Yeah.
And we were like, hey, where areyou guys?
And and they were like, oh, we're at the hotel.
And I was like. Cool.
Well, we're not. Yeah.
So and the the, the small group leader was like, well, do you

(16:03):
know the way back? It's like.
I don't know. And she was like, OK, well, come
back. And so we had to walk alone in
this unfamiliar city, these two teenage girls.
We were going like, past bars. Some guy came up to us and was
like, do you guys need help? Hey, I'm pretty sure he was
high. He smelled like weed.
But anyway, we were like, yeah, yeah.

(16:26):
And so And we were just, like, talking to the homeless people.
Like, we we could have. How?
Long Did you walk? Probably we got lost too, so
probably about like. An hour.
Great job, NCYC. Yeah, yeah.
And I it was really cool becausewe talked to the guy that walked
us home. He was telling us about his son.

(16:47):
We literally stood outside of the hotel for another like 20
minutes just talking to this guy.
But it was just such a wild, cool experience.
And so anyway, I know this is a long grant, but we kind of after
that decided like. I want to know more.
Like no matter what, I want to know more.
And so after that, we just kind of went full throttle.

(17:07):
We started looking at different religions, different
denominations, because we realized ultimately, if we're
going to believe something, we have to understand all the
possibilities. And so we we've met with like a
rabbi. We're not, like, best, like
really good friends, but we've gone to their house for dinner
like this. This pastor and his wife have

(17:31):
just taken it, taken us under their way.
They're incredible. And they are Christian.
They're Christian. Yeah.
They're Presbyterian. So, like, Calvinist.
Yeah. And so we talked to them a lot
about, like, predestination. We've gone to, like, a Hindu
temple. We've looked into sort of
Asianism. Which what is that?

(17:54):
That's in. Well, it's very old religion.
It's Iranian, Iranian, Iranian, yeah.
And it actually has a lot of parallels to Christianity.
They believe that Christianity has taken some of its beliefs
from Zoroastrianism. It's basically follows and I
can't pronounce all the deities names, but it's.

(18:17):
It's polytheistic. Well, it's like there is a good.
I'm still confused on that because it says it's
monotheistic. But there's like 2 gods, but I
think the ones like not quite a God.
It's like the good and evil. It's like the battle between
good and evil. It's like, so I think it's like
God and Satan. Yeah.
And it says like ultimately one day God will come back and we'll

(18:43):
like melt all the gold and like save all the people.
And there's like there's like a hell.
It's not called that, but. And he said that everybody in
hell will then eventually rise up and go to like the heaven
place, you know, or I think theycome back to earth.
I don't know. It's been a while.
But it it does have a lot of parallels to Christianity.

(19:04):
But it's just, it's been incredible.
It's been so cool. Yeah.
And we've just been exploring just life after death.
The near death experiences reincarnation.
What have been like either the the biggest parallels of
examining other religions or like what has been like the most

(19:26):
impactful thing you have learnedlike talking to these people
from or these like I guess religious leaders from different
religions? I think the most impactful thing
has just been the amount of faith I've seen.
Like, that's one thing that I really, really struggle to
understand in the beginning, because I'm such a skeptical

(19:47):
person that I need to understandeverything.
Like, I never believed that I could believe anything without
knowing 100% that it was true, because I always have an inkling
of doubt, and that's what I focus on.
And so just seeing somebody who can devote their entire life to
something without knowing 100% that it's true, that has been so

(20:07):
impactful to me. And then the biggest parallels
I've seen. It's been interesting because
one thing is, is it like celibacy is almost always a
parallel amongst religions, and I think that that's very
interesting. There's always, of course, been
that element of faith. There's usually some kind of

(20:34):
prophet. Is there always a loving God?
From what I've seen, yeah, yeah.OK.
Which makes sense. Yeah, yeah.
Cuz it's like, I think some people like who have either been

(20:55):
burned by whatever religion it was, they've been burned by it.
Specifically Christianity to be honest or Catholicism, they've
been burned by whatever. Like they they condemned me or
they they kind of stepped out ofline.
The religious people stepped outof line and and took liberties
that they they shouldn't have. And I see a lot of these people

(21:16):
that view God as this bad personand the only reason why is God
is tainted in their minds because of.
Like the the, the, the disciplesof of of the God or the
followers of that God. And I heard Gandhi said it quote
it was like I love your Christ but not your Christian.
Or I hate or love your Christ but don't like your Christians.

(21:38):
Whatever. Because of the execution of the
the the good things that that God had told them what was like.
It didn't meet up. It wasn't on par.
And I think that a lot of peoplelive their lives like burned,
are hurt by the church but not by actually the God.

(21:58):
And they kind of just like, write it all off and they're
like, Nope, can't be right, wrong, bad.
I don't want to deal with that. And then they're either agnostic
or they're atheist and they kindof go the other way due to the
hurt that wasn't inflicted upon them.
Yeah. Yeah, and I I think that having
a loving God, I think ultimatelywe all want to believe.

(22:20):
That there's good like that, That's what we want to believe
in. Because we see all this, there's
goodness in the world, that there's also a lot of evil and a
lot of hate. And so I think that we all want
to believe that in the big picture, it's all for the
greater good, You know that it'sall supposed to fit together to
create something good. And I think we also all desire

(22:43):
for something bigger than us, something that is outside of us
that we. Like, that's just bigger than
us. So we don't have to be the like
this center of our our lives. Like something that can be
outside of us, whether that's like loving people, good deeds,
caring for the poor or that's like, I believe in God.
I love God. I I want to make myself as close

(23:06):
to God or Jesus or whatever as much as I possibly can.
And I think that's why, like, ifyou look at like there's like
Muhammad or there's Buddha or there's Jesus and it's more
like. I don't want to say attainable,
but it's more like a human. It's more relatable.
Yeah, It's like it's like a human form.

(23:26):
And then there's also God as well.
And I think that's super interesting.
You've done a lot of research onlife after death.
Yes. Talk to me about your findings
and all of that. OK, so even before we started
this podcast I was already talking about, like before we
turn on the cameras, I was already talking about this.
One thing that I've been super interested in is the division of

(23:48):
perceptual studies at UVAI. This is basically just a
research program that studies consciousness and whether
consciousness, what is that and also doesn't exist after we die.
And this is something that I would I would love to work with
this program. I'm going into neuroscience I'm.

(24:10):
Going to college for the first time in the fall, and that's
what I'm going to be majoring in.
So I this is something that I really want to understand at
some point, which I don't know if we'll ever have the answers,
but I want to understand it. Also, I think there's sorry to
cut you off, no, I think there is something that humans don't
want to do that we have to do isyou can't understand everything.

(24:32):
So like even if you do all this research and stuff, you try and
understand as much as you can, you still have no answers.
Like, I feel like humans always want to understand what's going
on. And there has.
I think the most peaceful peopleare people who are like, I don't
understand it all. I'm OK with that.
I don't need to rationalize that.
I don't need to put everything into my understanding.
I don't hate it. I don't love it.

(24:54):
I'm just going to be OK that it exists.
And I don't understand why or how.
Yeah, that's definitely one of the hardest conclusions I had to
reach that I won't understand everything and that is my
biggest hope. Is that after we die we will be
able to know everything that is that is.
All I want is to just see the big picture, you know, and see

(25:16):
what it's all for. But anyway back on track to to
life after death. So the division of perceptual
studies, the two things that I'mthe most interested in is
exploring near death experiencesand then pass life memories
specifically around children. I've corresponded with the
director of the division Jim Tucker.
He specifically here he typically explores the past life

(25:40):
memories and then I personally met and like kind of interviewed
Kim Pemberthly who is one of thenewest members of Dots is what
it's known for short and so the within your death experiences
they typically identify after. They don't know why people have

(26:03):
these experiences because it isn't everybody.
Like there will be people who will have a heart attack and
they'll like die for a little bit and come back and they won't
experience anything. But then there will be people
that just go this whole new place and they don't know why.
And there's a lot of parallels amongst them.
Amongst different people's experiences, typically you see
like traditionally traveling into some kind of light, but

(26:27):
they usually feel emotions of like lovingness coming from it
and immediately after. Like once they get into the
space, they just feel at peace. They say there's a weight lifted
and so many people say that theydid not want to come back.
There's, there's usually. There's, it's called the inner

(26:51):
setting, I believe. I think that that's what they
changed the name to, where once they travel into the light, they
come to this new location. And I think that that's where
the the feelings of of peace andwelcomeness come in.
And then there's also. There are a lot less common, but
there's the darker NDE's where people will have like, the

(27:13):
traditional hellish images wherethere was like, pinching them.
There was like a professor who said that there was a bunch of,
like, these creatures that came up and and just started pinching
him and, like, tearing his skin off, which is interesting, yeah.
And then there's also another one is just nothingness.
This lady said that there were these.

(27:35):
She was surrounded by darkness. And then there were these, like,
figures that appeared, and they started taunting her.
And she was like, please let me go back.
And they're like, go back where?And she was like, and this is
terrifying. And she was like, go back like,
go back to life, go back to my family.
And they're like, there never was any.

(27:56):
They're like, that was all a joke.
It never actually existed. You've been here the whole time.
There's nothing beyond this. It's like the matrix.
Yeah, yeah. That scares me, Yeah.
That's very wild. Yeah, yeah.
And then with past life memories, I'm pretty sure a lot
of people, these have been circulating around.
Like you said that you watch a documentary, even how to.

(28:17):
I'm sure it's all over a TikTok,but there's a lot of stories
where kids will have. Memories from past life
essentially. And they're typically more
common in Asian cultures where in in like in India where
reincarnation is much more accepted.
But there are hundreds of cases in America and they believe that

(28:40):
that's just because it's much more reported where it's more
accepted. And so the the most important
cases are where a kid has these memories.
And then they confirmed that thethe person that they're saying
that they were existed and that there's a ton of parallels

(29:01):
between what they're saying in that other person's life.
So one of the most common examples, and I think a lot of
people have heard about this one, it was, I'm trying to
remember his name. It was James Longo or something.
It's not Longo, but it starts with an L anyway.
James L. Yeah, James L We're going to

(29:21):
call him James L. But he was about, I guess
whenever he was a kid he was always obsessed with airplanes.
Yep. I'm saying yeah and and so he
would always take his, his toy airplane and he would ram it
into the kitchen table and therewere just marks all over the
cable all over the table. And he'd he'd say airplane go

(29:45):
down and fire like little man going down or something like
that. And whenever he got to be 3
years old, he'd start signing heHe'd draw these horrific
drawings of these plane crashes and he'd sign them.
James three. And he'd have these awful
nightmares where he'd be kickingand screaming whenever his

(30:05):
parents would talk to him about it.
He would say that there was thisplane crashing, and eventually
he got to talking, and he said that in his past life.
He had died in this plane crash and he said that it was shot
down by the Japanese. He told them the location that
it happened. He said that his one friend was

(30:28):
there. He called him by name.
I don't remember the name right now, but so they reached out to
Jim Tucker. And so Jim, kind of.
I probably shouldn't call him Jim.
Mr. Tucker. Jim, we're we're not on a first
name basis yet. Mr. Tucker did more research on
it and he reached out to the family.

(30:51):
He he found that this guy did exist.
His name was James Houston and he was actually James Junior.
So he would be James the second.Wow.
So he went James 3 because it was Wow.
Yeah, that's kind of deep, yeah.And they found out that his
plane and Lil James James L, James L also identified the

(31:14):
plane that James Houston, one ofthe ones that he was, it wasn't
the one. James.
Yeah, Yeah. So they named him the name of
the guy. That's.
Weird. That is weird.
And so he identified one of the planes that he flew once.
But it wasn't the plane that gotshot down in, but he was shot
down by the Japanese. He was shot down in the location

(31:37):
the James L said that he was. And the the friend that he said
was with him was flying the plane next to him.
And James Houston was the only guy was the only plane that got
shot down at that time. Yeah, very interesting.
And then there's other stories, one of which was this.
This kid told his parents he waslike, I remember whenever I

(31:59):
picked you, I think this is so interesting.
He was like, I remember wheneverI picked you, they're like, what
do you mean? And he was like, he was like, I
was like, I saw you guys, you were at the beach.
He like, gave the location. It was like they were in Hawaii
or something like that. And he said like.

(32:21):
I saw you guys and I said, I want them to be my mom and dad.
And they realized that it was whenever they were there, that's
whenever he was conceived. Like that's whenever they had
him. He they were on their honeymoon
at that point, and he had no idea.
He he described exactly what they were doing, exactly where

(32:42):
they were, what they were wearing.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, that's pretty wild.
And like the James kid, too. Didn't they ask him like, all
these questions about like, oh, like what's this airplane?
But he like, couldn't remember any of the newer planes because
that was after he had died. Like, if they showed him all the
different ones, he was like, oh,and that's called the N 765.
He like, knew all of the the names.

(33:03):
Yeah, that was wild. I think the documentary is just
called Life After Death. And he's like, it's really good.
I've. Heard of that?
I think that that's. Might be based off of one of the
books that they've written. Yeah, but it just one thing that
Jim Tucker said that he does is he'll Mr. Tucker.
Oh, sorry, Mr. Tucker. I apologize.

(33:26):
Hopefully he doesn't hear this. He'll be, like, disrespectful.
You can never work with me anyway.
So he'll take these cards. And he originally started with
you to have like, like what you were saying, where there'd be
like a series of cards, like howthey'd show him a bunch of
different planes. And and they'd have them like
point out which one was from their past life.
But they kind of realized that kids have short attention spans

(33:47):
and that's why this is so difficult to study because
you're you're studying kids and kids are difficult to work with.
But so he'd show them. He began showing them like 2
cards and he showed one was likethe house.
Of where the kid said that he lived well, like the life of the

(34:11):
person they lived, it was their.House Jim too.
Or not Jim. Sorry.
James too, Yeah. And then he'd show like some
other Random House as a control,and he he'd have them pick out
like, which one do you recognize?
And I know for the one, he said that the house likely had
changed since he last see it, sohe couldn't identify that one.
But he could identify the neighbor's house, which I

(34:31):
thought was interesting, I guess.
But a lot of them like have veryhigh success rates with that,
you know. So, yeah, yeah, they found also
a lot of times they'll have birthmarks from the way that
they are supposedly died. You know, like in a lot of cases
they'll have an entrance and exit, entrance and exit wound.

(34:55):
If they had said that they were shot, they had.
And he believes that that isn't because.
That's it's just I'm I'm trying to understand what they were
saying but I think that it's essentially one one of the
examples that he had used was this you, which I think is very

(35:15):
interesting that apparently yourmind can imprint things on your
body. Like there was a guy who had
been like kidnapped and he had ropes tied around his wrist
super tight whenever he was telling the story and he was
remembering. The rope burns appeared back on
his arm. Yeah.
And so you can actually, like your brain can imprint things on

(35:38):
your body. And there's other cases like
that. So he believes that if this is
true because you can't prove anyof this, but it's that if you
died in such a traumatic way andthen you go into a different
body, then essentially you're the the memory of it.
And the severity of that memory is will then imprint that on

(35:58):
your body. Like there was this girl who
said that she had been kidnappedby this guy and he had like
chopped off her fingers and she was born with like without
fingers. You know there was another guy
what was it that like his fingergot caught in the machine or

(36:20):
something? He said.
And he and and they verified that these people exist in the
past sides. And yeah, he was born with his
his fingers deformed, another guy was supposedly shot in his
head, and he had like a stump for a year.
Interesting. And in most cases, it's

(36:42):
traumatic death, right? It's like, not like, oh, I died
in my sleep. Yeah, that's that's the
parallels that they've drawn that that typically they and
these are separate from each other that either they died at a
younger age. Or they die in a very traumatic
way, which usually if you're dying at a younger age, you're

(37:02):
dying in a traumatic way. But yeah.
Yeah, it's very interesting. Yeah.
It's something you should look into.
I I watched a couple documentaries on it, but it's
like biblical parallels of aliens and like trying to, like,
biblically rationalize aliens. That's interesting.
Yeah, that was pretty interesting.
Comedy Central. Oh my gosh, The History Channel

(37:23):
did. Did like a couple different
documentaries about it and it was pretty fascinating.
That is fascinating. This is kind of hard thing to
like, transition, transition into.
But what have been like talking more I guess about you and your
goals and and your, your whatever the stuff you've gone

(37:45):
through, what have been your biggest victories in your life?
My biggest victories, I would say.
I've realized that I've become the person that I wanted to be.
Like my freshman year self, I'vekind of accomplished and became

(38:09):
the person that I wanted to be by the time I graduated.
And that makes me very proud, I would say and and that's one
thing that I should have talked about before with with building
a relationship with yourself is I write letters to myself all
the time. We had to do it for school and
so, but I I still do that now just because like I I wrote one.

(38:33):
So whenever I graduate from college, I'll be getting an
e-mail from myself. Yeah, I scheduled it and I
highly recommend doing that. But whenever I was a freshman
that had us write a letter and we'd get it whenever we
graduate. So I just got it this year and.
It was really depressing. It was.

(38:55):
But I loved reading it because it just showed me how far I'd
come and everything that I said in it.
Like, I hope that you do this. Like I've hope that you've
accomplished this. I hope that you still have this
person in your life. I did all of that.
So that was a really big accomplishment for me.
Beyond that, I would say, well, one thing and then this is.

(39:22):
I started a gardening club at myschool without knowing anything
about gardening. I just wanted to have a garden
really bad. And I end up in the beginning of
the year because I started with one of my friends.
We said by the time we graduate we want to have a greenhouse.
You know, we want to have a greenhouse for the school.

(39:43):
And I was like, that's a bit ambitious, but because I was
like, how are we going to finance that?
But we end up getting a $10,000 grant so that we can get a
greenhouse. And I just, we bought it before
I graduated. So I'm counting it towards my
goal because there are no unrealistic goals, they're just
unrealistic timelines and I justdrove past and they started

(40:05):
constructing it and so. That's really cool.
Yeah, yeah, that's awesome. What have been your biggest
struggles? Figure out how dark this should
get. Well, it's your podcast okay.
So whenever I say I've come a long way, I mean it.

(40:25):
I really do. And I at my worst if I start
there. I was like, I don't like to give
numbers. But I was like hardly eating
anything at all. I was had debilitating anxiety,

(40:51):
like I struggled to get out of bed every single morning and I
was just incredibly depressed. And I I don't say that lightly.
And I just. Like every single day was a
struggle. And that was hard because it was
an internal struggle. Like, yes, there were several
external factors that contributed to that, but I just

(41:16):
like it's nobody knew. That was the hardest part that
nobody knew. Not my parents, not my siblings,
not my friends, which I didn't really feel like I had any
friends, but I think. And I don't blame any of them
for that, by any means. I was very good at hiding it.
And I I think a lot of people inthis generation have experienced

(41:39):
things like that. And I would never wish that upon
anybody. But I Yeah.
And so I would say that's probably been my biggest
struggle, just kind of being at that point in your life where
it's just like you, you don't want.

(42:00):
To live, you know, like you don't want to get out of bed
every morning. And then.
Was it And you can be like, I don't want to answer this
question, was it suicidal or wasit more like I just like I'd be
happy if I don't wake up today, cuz I've heard people say no.
I wanted to kill myself and I was like planning it.

(42:22):
And then I've heard other peoplesay like, no, I I I wasn't.
I never got did any planning. I just kind of didn't want to
exist. I just wish that I could just
kind of like if I didn't wake upthe next morning, I'd be happy
like that. That would be the the goal.
It depended on the day, but both, I would say, like there

(42:42):
were days that were worse than others, I honestly.
I I kind of accepted that eventually see this is going to
get really dark but I kind of accepted that eventually I would
you know like I would end it andjust whenever you're in the

(43:03):
mindset like I I just thought that that was how the world
worked you know like my anytime that my and I think that that
was also the anxiety combined. But it's like anytime that my
family member would leave that was just upset.
I would say, like, I would think, like what if this is the
last time I ever see them, you know, and it just, it I've never

(43:27):
been like a hateful or a spite. Well, no, I can't say I've never
been. But I it, it blows me away that
I could have that kind of relationship with myself looking
back now, you know? Yeah.
Or that I could think like that,looking back now.
But yeah, whenever you're you'rethere, that's just how you view

(43:50):
the world. You know, it's a it's it's a
totally different way of lookingat life.
How did you go from that like rock bottom, super low
experience to now being where you are and being this like
happy? I would say outgoing.

(44:12):
Kind like not the complete opposite of what you just said.
I mean, I know there's stuff always that goes on in the head
that that that that people that you don't tell other people or
that people don't know what it'slike.
But at least on the outside it looks like you you have like
kind of really just gone to the complete other end of that.

(44:34):
How did you get there? I got help.
That was the main thing. Because as I said, nobody knew.
Like I didn't tell anybody I was.
I was so committed to not telling anybody.
And that was for a lot of reasons, like just as an example

(44:54):
of just how committed I was. And I've never really told
anybody this, but as I said, like I I was not eating.
And I didn't want anybody to know so and and the doctors were
suspecting it until they made mego to a nutritionist.
And I literally took rocks aboutthe size of my fist and I put

(45:15):
them. I wear 4 baggy pants.
I put them in my pocket and I had about 6 in there like the
size of a fist. I don't know how I hid this.
My mom was like, we're going shopping first, we're going to
the malt. So I had to carry them around
the whole time. But I was so committed and so
that so that I would be like a. A normal weight.
You know, I was still underweight even with six rocks

(45:35):
in my pocket. Yeah, but eventually I realized,
like, why am I doing this? You know, why am I living like
this? Because I I realized if I accept
this as my fate, it is my fate, you know?
And the moment that I finally snapped and I was like, I have

(45:59):
to do something about this is. Oddly enough, well, for context
my sister was also going throughit was different but like she
was also going through a little bit of a rough time.
And I told myself because I'm one of five.
But I told myself I was like, I have to wait until she graduates

(46:20):
before I say anything because like, I don't like.
I know that I need a lot of helplike and I I can't have.
That if she needs it, like that's how I thought of it, is
that if I ask for help, all the attention will be on me.
And she needs it right now. And I don't remember why she

(46:43):
said this or why she, why or howin the world it came up.
But she was like something abouthow like she was like you always
have to have the attention on you.
She's like, she's like the attention is always on you.

(47:04):
And at that time, like that struck me so hard because I was
like, I have done so much so that that wasn't the case.
Like I've done so much because II was like I had like it wasn't
like I was an extroverted personthen too like it.
I don't know where that came from because I was.

(47:24):
I felt like I was always the one.
In the shadows, not in the net like I chose to be in that
place. I put myself in that place, but
I I what? I didn't know where it came
from. But in that moment I realized
like no matter what I do, no matter how many times I put
myself back there like it, it's not.

(47:48):
Everybody has their own issues and if I have gone through, not.
Asking for help so that I'm not taking any of that from her.
It doesn't matter what I do because if if I'm being told now

(48:09):
that like I'm already getting what, how do I phrase this?
I I think I just realized that in that moment that I might not
be the problem, you know, that everybody has their own issues.
And maybe I'm not the one causing all of them.
And so I my mom wasn't there that day, but I texted her and I

(48:33):
was like, I need to talk to you whenever you get back.
And she came back and immediately I just broke down in
tears and I just kind of told her what was going on.
And I I went to therapy for a time and it's actually goes full
circle because on Thursday I'm meeting with the same therapist

(48:54):
that I talked to then. And I'm kind of just doing that
because I'm like, I'm going to college.
I I kind of just want to tell her how far I've gone.
But I think that the act of asking for help made all the
difference because whenever you have all of that in your head,
that's where it stays. You know, I had no outside party

(49:16):
telling me that this isn't how the world works.
And I made an active change. Like I made an active choice
that I need to change. And it was a struggle, but it
was like I got a second chance of life, you know?
And that's whenever my life started.
Yeah, that's really amazing And it's, it's, I don't like that.

(49:39):
You said you talked about therapy because I think therapy
is super important. I think having that outside
party who's like, hey, you're kind of either they're going to
be like. This is serious.
Let's get you help. Or they're going to be like,
you're kind of making things bigger than they are and because
everything is in your head, that's the only scale you have.
But when someone else is like, not in like a oh, suck it up, No

(50:02):
emotion kind of deal. But like kind of being like, no,
this is a little bit too dramatic or this is like, it's
not as big as you think it is. You're going to be OK That's
like. That's huge and it's important
to have that. And I've talked about having a
mentor, having a life coach likeit literally had my my life
coach on the podcast like. I know.
I love that. Episode and and I think it's so

(50:24):
important for people to have outside forces and not be
isolated to this, not be isolated to your phone.
And that's the only thing that'sgetting you out out of your mind
or outside of yourself. Yeah.
And what I will add with that isthat if you do go to therapy,
know that it isn't you go to oneif it doesn't work out.

(50:47):
I I think that that's very common that people will do that
because I mean I probably shouldn't talk because what
happened is I liked the first lady, but then she ended up
leaving that practice and then Igot some other guy and he was
like fine, he was nice. But I would I I would go rants
because this was over COVID. So he was on, it was over Zoom.

(51:08):
And I'm pretty sure he was just on his phone while I was talking
like I remember and went on somerant about like my religious
journey. And I was like, I was like, what
if I was like, what if I remember I said, what if
Mohammed just had schizophrenia and he just looked up and he was
like, what? Yeah.

(51:29):
So then I kind of just like. This isn't working out And then
I but I think that at that pointI had gone far enough that and I
had people my life that I could talk to.
You know, I I have a very strongsupport system and that's
something that's been super important to me.
Developing a strong support system, talking to people like I

(51:49):
I know so many people who are scared of being a burden holding
all of that inside. It's people.
People see it like I. I know people that I can tell
that they are holding so much inthem and I want them to let it
out like I want them to so bad, but that has to be your own

(52:11):
personal choice. Yeah, you kind of have to like,
it's hard because I I have so many people in my life that will
come to me for advice. I've talked about it before.
They'll be like, I need help. Should I?
Whatever. Should I date this girl and I'll
be like, well, where she's at and where you're at, Probably
not. And they'll be like, that's
great, I'm going to do it. I did that with with Brandon,
who's like my. Mentor.
And he was like, okay, that's fine that you're going to do

(52:34):
that. I still love and support you.
I love you. I don't love your actions.
Like that's that's his philosophy.
And I think that that's like a great way to look at all of that
is like, I'm here to help prettymuch anyone.
Like if you text me, DM me, e-mail me, I will try and help
you if I can, and I will love you as much as I possibly can.

(52:55):
But I'm not going to love the decision to make.
I'm not going to support all of the actions you make.
Yeah. And I think having those people
is huge. And also talking about the
therapist, I I, I heard someone use the analogy of, like, having
a therapist is like going to a restaurant and getting food.
It's like, oh, I went to a bad restaurant and never eating
again. Like, it doesn't make sense.
That's stupid. No, you just find the food or

(53:17):
the restaurant or the cook or the chef, whatever that you
like, and you figure out, like, what you like and what you need.
Because, like, I don't like Indian food, so I'm not gonna go
love Indian. I'm gonna get.
I had to. That's my favorite food.
Yeah. So I had some today.
I'm not gonna go to an Indian place and and not like, the
whatever, the food. And then I'm gonna be like, OK,

(53:38):
well, I'm not eating again and just die of starvation.
Yeah, that's not gonna happen. But but I'm gonna go figure out
what I do, what suits my needs and what I need.
Yeah. I and I kind of just went more
for fun because I'm as I said, I'm going to neuroscience, but
I'm going with the concentrationof psych.
And so I was like, I found this neuropsychologist and I was

(53:59):
like, I kind of like I I booked an appointment, but I was like,
I kind of just want to like I just wanted to see more so of
how she differed from other psychologists and stuff.
And I went. Okay.
Listen, I do not like throwing accusations around, but like,
I'm pretty darn sure this lady was very racist.
Like, specifically against Asians.
Which was she? It was like an acid trip.

(54:23):
Going to that session, she talked way more than I did.
She told me that all my teacherswere sorry.
The majority of my teachers wereprobably Alcoholics.
What in the world? Yeah, yeah.
She told me that, like Asians work together to bring down the
the academic system so that theycan be on top and they will tear
anybody down, she said. She told me about how like men

(54:47):
with Asperger's or violent, likethe most violent people, she.
She told me about how at my school, which this isn't Okay.
She told me that at my school one of her patients was a
security guard that goes to her school.
And she said that he came to herand he was like, he was like, I

(55:10):
noticed this teacher leaving every day for like during study
hall. And he was like, should I follow
him? And she was like, yeah, follow
him. Are you sure your therapist?
Encouraged this man to follow one of our teachers and he
followed him to a bar. Oh my gosh, yeah.
Anyway, it was a really weird. It was really weird, but.
Yeah. Are you sure your therapist was

(55:31):
like Alex Jones? That's wild.
Yeah. It was.
On that note, I'm going to take a quick pee break and we'll be
right back. OK, so we're back.
Bathroom break complete. You were just talking to me
about getting out of your comfort zone and how you did the

(55:54):
speech. Yeah, I just gave a speech in
one of my classes about something outside of your
comfort zone. Yeah.
I guess kind of talking about stepping outside of your comfort
zone. What is your opinion on dating?
You have a boyfriend? He's my friend.
He's awesome. So like what is your opinion on
dating and like more specifically like team dating?

(56:16):
Do you think it should happen? What parameters do you think
there should be? Like what I guess I should ask
you, what did you want for yourself for team dating?
Do I want for myself somebody who adds something to my life?
You know, somebody who makes me a better person?

(56:40):
I think in the long term, so somebody I could see myself
marrying. Did you always date for like in
in looking at it? Like could I marry this person
or were you just like this wouldbe a fun whatever.
Well, Nick's the only person I've ever dated.
One time gang. Which actually usually I would,

(57:03):
but in his Case No I. Because I was so intent on not
dating anybody. Going into college, I always had
in my head I don't want that because I wanted to go far away.
That was always my dream. But I I wanted to go to North
Carolina, but I ended up in Ohio, which I think is pretty,

(57:25):
Pretty sad, but. I love Ohio.
What are you talking about? Cleveland's the best city out
there. Yeah, well, I'm in.
Worcester So I don't even know where that is.
Yeah, most people don't. Yeah, but anyway.
So I wanted to be able to go faraway without feeling guilty
about it, which I didn't go close because of him.

(57:47):
I went close because they have areally good neuroscience program
and because I realized that the warmth that does not outweigh
the relationships I've made and my best friend is actually going
to school with me. There you go.
I know roommates. No, we don't get to pick our
roommates. I know it's.
It's like the only school that you don't get to.
That sucks. Yeah.

(58:07):
But anyway, so I was very intenton that.
But I quickly realized that I cannot date with the deadline
because what's the point? You know why?
Why would I date somebody if I just know that it's going to end
in the next year? And so I realized that, like, if

(58:30):
the person's worth it. Then because we'll only be like
3 hours away, which we'll be able to see each other on
breaks, but if the person's worth it and it's worth it, you
know. So yeah, I guess initially going
to the relationship, I wasn't necessarily thinking about it
like that. But also Nick, Nick of my origin

(58:53):
story is interesting. So originally I I went on the
date. I'll just give context of how
how we started dating. So basically what happened is we
which we kind of met by coincidence, we've been going to
the school together. We're in the same grade.
We go to the same school since middle school and but I didn't

(59:16):
know his name and he know mine and so he was working at Dairy
Queen at the time and it was my friend's birthday.
And we were supposed to be goingto Griff's, which is a different
ice cream place, but my friend was driving me with her now
ex-boyfriend. But they somehow she

(59:37):
accidentally drove to Dairy Queen instead of the ice cream
place that we were supposed to be going to.
And Nick was working there and Iwalked in and my friend's
ex-boyfriend was friends with him and so they were talking.
And then afterwards I told him Iwas like, oh, he's kind of cute.
And he was like, do you want me to set you up?
And I was like, I don't know anything about him.
And he was like, he just told mea bunch of bad things about him.

(59:59):
He was like, oh, yeah, he was inmy chem class.
Like, he he did not do well. I don't want to expose them.
But that thing that he said, I was like, I was like, okay.
So no, I'm not being tested. And he's like, oh, I already
sexed him. I was like, yeah.
And then, and so both. And then I was like, I can't
back out. And so Nick was like, was like,

(01:00:22):
oh, I'll go, but then her, I'll just call her export.
And I won't say his name, we'll call him.
L. L OK, we'll call him Apple.
Actually, that's what his name starts.
With. I know.
I know who he is. Oh, you do?
Yeah. Oh, you go to the same church,
don't you? No, but I know who he is.
Anyway, on with the story, OK? Anyway, I thought that it was

(01:00:46):
from the James L. Oh, no, I I know his first name.
Anyway, sorry. So he then told Nick a bunch of
bad things about me, and which he said that I was weird and a
nerd. But both of those things are
true, so this guy's terrible at setting people.
Up. No, because he set it up for his

(01:01:06):
own amusement. He was, he was fully prepared
for it to crash and burn. And so was I, because I was
like, I was like, you know what?It'll be a nice story.
Like, I'll go. Go On this date.
It'll be super awkward. Hopefully something funny will
happen and I can tell the story,but we actually ended up hitting
it off and then only enough. We planned the second date and
oddly enough we both ended up getting stitches and not being

(01:01:29):
able to go on the date. Like like he Yeah, just by
coincidence. Was that when he hit his head?
That's crazy. Yeah.
In soccer he had to get stitcheson his, on his, the side of his
head and. My well, that's a long story.
But basically my sister's autistic, and she did not get
the concept that if my hand is in the door, you can't run

(01:01:50):
through it. And so she ran into my arm.
The door's broken, basically. I had to get stitches across my
knuckle. And she broke it too.
Yeah. And so we both he like, he was
like, I can't go. I'm sorry, I have to get
stitches. And I was like, okay, if you
don't want to go, just tell me. You can cancel.
You don't have to come up with some story.

(01:02:10):
And they sent me a picture. And he was covered in blood.
And then two hours later, I ended up having to go get
stitches, which is really weird.Yeah.
Yeah. And then I was like, it's a
sign. And so anyway, so in the
beginning, I did not think that it was going to work because him
and I are complete opposites. Like it?

(01:02:36):
The only thing that we have in common is both of our dogs have
the same name. That's it.
There you go. Yeah, that's all you need.
Yeah, you guys. Are literally complete
opposites, like you're a nerd a little bit.
I'm going to so. I can call it out and he's like
a jock. It's like the complete like.
I said all I have to do is get him to to join the musical and

(01:02:58):
then we're all the the cliches. Yeah, yeah.
Literally. That's so funny.
Yeah, yeah, that's. He's he's a total introvert.
I'm an extrovert. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It was funny cuz he is an introvert, but I saw him around
people like he I brought him to a UFC fight and he was like, I

(01:03:19):
was like, OK, this is gonna be alittle awkward.
He walks in, he's like, what's up?
Bros sits on the couch and just starts blowing it up with my
uncles and I'm like. OK, like, this is not how I
thought it was going to go. It was pretty funny.
Yeah, he's fine whenever he's there.
But I had to actually convince him to go to that.
Oh, really? Yeah, I did.
Because we had been. He's like, he's like, I've done
too much socializing today. Yeah, because we, he, like, went

(01:03:41):
over his, was talking to his neighbor in the morning and then
we went on a walk and then we talked to his other neighbor for
like an hour and he's like, oh, and then he went to my house and
he plays bike ball. So he's talking to my parents
and he's like, I've done, I've talked to too many people today.
Yeah. Yeah.
You got him out of this comfort zone, just that we were talking
about. There you go.
Yeah. And so, yeah.

(01:04:03):
But yeah, I do not expect that to last long.
Not nearly as long as it did. And look at this now, yeah, but
yeah. You being a part of Gen.
Z, Gen. Z.
Could be the best or the worst generation.
I hope that I can make it the best generation.

(01:04:24):
Not single handedly. We all need to.
I got you. Yep.
What would you say are the strengths of our generation?
I think, I think we have a wholelot of potential.
We have all the potential at ourfingertips.

(01:04:45):
We have so many resources. Like this is.
I mean, not that money is everything, but like this is
probably the easiest generation there ever has been to make
money. And I know that there's all like
unemployment and everything and then all with that.
But like you could it's. So I don't want to say it's

(01:05:05):
easy, but like there's so much money to be made.
It seems more achievable due to not social media due to like
having a phone. And and yeah, we have so many
resources like we can help so many people.
With that like you, it's so mucheasier to organize things, like

(01:05:27):
to organize groups, to start nonprofits.
Like, we have so much potential for change.
We have so much potential to help this world and.
Yeah. And and you see people are
taking on airs of activism. You are in in some instances
like that can go good, that can go bad.

(01:05:49):
But we can do so much with this generation.
If we all are able to work together like I, I, I truly
believe that we can turn this world around.
I guess on the other side of that that.
Schism. I love using that word.

(01:06:09):
Schism. What do you think are our
weaknesses as a generation? Or like the biggest weakness?
Whatever. Yeah, I think, I think we've
kind of created a generation of followers.
I agree completely. They I feel like people will

(01:06:33):
they. It's like a religion.
You have your information sources where you know it is the
gospel truth and you take it for.
You didn't even. Think about it.
You just take it. This is truth.
I move on with it. And it's it's like cultic in a
way. It's like you just you hear
something from the people you believe always will tell the

(01:06:55):
truth. And they used to be.
That used to be for in America, that used to be the American
government. They used to be the American
news outlets because they used to tell you the truth and you
knew it was the truth. And then all of a sudden it was
like, wait, they're wrong sometimes.
And it rocked people off of whatever they believe.
So they're like, I don't know what to believe.
And that's where these, like, that's at least what I believe.

(01:07:17):
Where these like, miniature groups of like.
We all believe this thing and weall believe this thing and we
all believe this thing. And there are like, there's like
left, right, whatever you want to call it.
Like all these different like groups of people that are all
believing the same thing and alltake the same information from

(01:07:38):
the same outlets and only trust those outlets and everything
else is fake news. And I go go.
I was just going to say, I mean,it's confirmation bias.
Yeah. You know, because our algorithm,
our algorithm caters everything for us.
So all we see every day is people who agree with us.
And if everybody agrees with us,then there has to be some truth

(01:08:00):
in it. Yeah.
And then when you, you're getting everything you agree
with. You're swiping.
Oh, agree, agree, agree. And then you come across
something that that like makes you question that you're like.
I hate that. Well, let's.
Yeah, they're ridiculous. Yeah, this is bad.
Why would I have? Why would I ever have to think
about something that I don't personally believe or that I
don't like, think is true? Hey, buddies, that I'll believe

(01:08:22):
the same thing as me. Let's cancel them.
Let's get them out of here. Because I don't.
We don't want to have to hear you anymore.
And I think that's what's going on.
And it's not like there's no tolerance for differences.
In that sense in like beliefs, but if but whatever like your
gender and your race, like we have really grown in those

(01:08:43):
areas. Like there there have been a lot
of growth in certain areas, but I think certain other areas have
kind of been stunted like due tothat you know what I.
Mean, I heard a quote recently and I don't know if it's 100%
true and I don't want to add kind of falling into the thing
of pitting everybody against each other.
But I thought it was funny. It was like, let me think it was

(01:09:03):
like. Democrats believe or find
everybody, or Democrats love everybody who is different
except for people with differentopinions.
And Republicans are okay with people with different opinions
but not people are different or something like that.

(01:09:25):
I don't know. I don't remember.
I just thought that it was funnyand I'd say it as well.
And I'm not saying that that's true.
I just. It was a generalization that
that like has some factual basis, but I think there are a
lot and not just Republicans andDemocrats.
I think it it goes across the board and I think being able to
accept other people and say you're different, but I love you

(01:09:46):
for that. You have opinions that challenge
mine and having a civil conversation about it and being
like, OK. Here's what you believe.
Now here's what I believe and you go back and forth and you
figure out OK. Asking questions.
Yeah, because none of you are going to be 100% right.
I 100% guarantee that that none of you will be 100% right.

(01:10:07):
And you can take stuff from the other person's opinions that are
true and like kind of mix match it.
And I think that that's like something that's kind of
forgotten and that needs to happen and we need to be OK with
accepting other people. We can already talked about
this, but what do you think our generation needs to succeed in
going the right direction? I think focus, I think that

(01:10:30):
that's something that this generation really struggles
with. I mean just looking at how much
a DHD has skyrocketed and I'm not saying that a DHD is a
problem, I I'm actually on the track for getting checked out on
that A. DHD Gang.
But I. I mean focus in direction.
You know, like I I think people,it's so common nowadays that

(01:10:57):
people will just spend hours andhours and hours on their phone
and sometimes they'll be sittingsomewhere and I'll just look
around and everybody's on their phone.
I mean, and I know there's a lotof benefits to your phone there.
There is. It's created for a reason.
It's a tool. It's a resource.
But. It should not be your world, you

(01:11:18):
know, like I, I I saw this thingand it was like it was like we
used to go on our phones to escape the world, but now we go
to the world to escape our phones and.
That's. Not good.
That's that's not good. No, it's not.
And I think that if we spend like we only have so many hours
in a day, you know and think about.

(01:11:40):
How far we could get if we didn't have all these
distractions, if we were able toput these down, If we were able
to decide what we want and instead put our time and our
energy and working towards that instead of scrolling. 100%,
yeah. Like you talked about it,
there's so much potential, but we squander the potential
because. Of this really?

(01:12:04):
It's it's my numbing. It really is because I can tell.
Because every once in a while I'll fall into it and I can
literally feel the switch to my brain and it feels like my
brain's melting slightly. Because if I'm spent too long on
my phone, I can feel myself getting more and more lazy.
And that carries throughout the rest of the day.
It does. But then if I if I wake up in

(01:12:26):
the morning and I do something productive and I stick with that
throughout the day. I feel significantly better by
the end of the day than if I wason my phone the whole time or
just for several hours throughout that day and and so I
think that being intuitive and just I suggest like in the past
week I my family went out to Texas and we saved my aunt's son

(01:12:52):
and cabin and there was no Wi-Fi.
And usually, like, whenever I get ready in the morning, I'll
listen to like a podcast or something.
But I don't have unlimited data or anything, so I couldn't watch
any videos, I couldn't, I couldn't listen to anything.
And I loved it like I really did.
I forgot how much I love thinking like I really do.

(01:13:14):
I will have conversations with myself all the time.
And I missed that like I really did.
And I felt so much more productive, you know, And I felt
so much better by the end of theday.
I got, I remember one time, I don't know.
I feel like I used to do this tomyself, like subconsciously,
like I would get myself in trouble, so that way I would

(01:13:34):
lose my phone. But I lost my phone for a month.
It was month. Just nothing.
I was allowed to have my phone to do.
I was allowed to text people. No, it was awesome.
It was the best I've ever felt. I was journaling every single
day. I was meditating.
I was doing, I was working out, I was getting into fitness.
I was reading books. I was like, just happy.

(01:13:55):
I didn't. I couldn't even listen to music.
The only music I heard was like on the radio or something.
It was like I was transported back in time and I was so much
happier. But like, I need this because I
have to do a podcast and I need this because I have to do XY&Z
and I need this, so I stay informed and I need this.
So I and I make up all these excuses and I wish we could do
something like. Like with the whole world like

(01:14:16):
goes offline for a month or likea week or whatever and we kind
of just all like our life just like go back in time like it's
like a rent fair but. For the whole world.
That'd. Be incredible.
That'd be so cool. Yeah, I've had that idea a lot,
but I don't know. I just, it's I felt the best.
Like that was like, I would spend my whole life right in

(01:14:37):
that corner of my room. I'd read books, I'd be
journaling, I'd be doing all these things, just thinking
about stuff and analyzing different things.
And I remember when I got my phone back, it was like, I like
felt I was like so excited I gotmy phone back.
But then I also was like, I'm, I'm gonna lose all this.
And I knew I was going to and I was like, well, whatever.
And now I'm back in this like vortex that is, is technology.

(01:15:01):
Yeah. So definitely putting checks and
balances and figuring out what those balances and how it works
with your life, I think is superimportant.
And if it makes you feel uncomfortable involving
technology and putting boundaries up, then that's
probably what you should do. Yeah, yeah.
Setting outside your comfort zone.
I mean, I think that and we weretalking about this right before

(01:15:23):
we turn the camera on after the P break.
I just think one of the most important things that you can do
is stuff outside of your comfortzone, like get.
And I know that that's so cheesy.
I know it is. But get comfortable with that
feeling of being uncomfortable. And I get it.
I get it because I I have anxiety.
I mean, I still do. And I get all the physical

(01:15:45):
symptoms in it. That's something that people
don't talk about like I. I will be talking to people and
and I consider myself like an extrovert.
I like meeting new people. I love meeting new people, but I
will be talking new people. And verbally I'm fine.
Like I told, it's all like I'm really nervous, like I'm okay at
this point. But like, especially in the
beginning I was really nervous talking on this podcast.

(01:16:09):
But I've learned how to keep my voice steady.
Sometimes I physically shake. That's the one thing that I
can't. Prevent being visually apparent,
but I will be lightheaded like Iwas so lightheaded in the
beginning. I was sweating.
I'm shaky. I feel like I'm gonna throw up
like I. If somebody just went into my

(01:16:31):
body for a second, they'd be like, what the heck is wrong
with her? Yeah, but I'm so used to it
because I've been putting myselfout there.
I've learned to do things like like one thing that my friend
and I do. We go on, We call them kindness
dates, and we will just like, go.
We'll put like, we'll write notes on people's car, put them
on their car. One time we went into a grocery

(01:16:52):
store. We just started handing people
flowers. We one thing that we did this
wasn't necessarily for the kind of state, We just did it for
fun. We set up a table at Keystone
Lake. It's a public lake near our
house and we set up a table. We set up a sign that said free

(01:17:13):
advice and lemonade. We brought lemonade and we just
had strangers come up to us and ask us for advice.
And we never asked permission ifwe could be there.
We just sat up a table and we just talked to strangers.
We said people could come up. We say in order to get lemonade,
either ask us for like tell us something, we'll give you advice
or tell us a story. And like that.

(01:17:35):
I was nervous, like that wasn't comfortable, but I did it anyway
because it was a learning experience, because it was a new
story. I love collecting stories and
just if something. Makes you uncomfortable.
I mean, depending on some thingsmake you uncomfortable for a
reason, but if something's a newexperience, weigh the pros and

(01:18:00):
cons. That's what I do.
I'm a big pros and cons person, and that makes that makes a big
difference. If you want to talk to somebody
new, does talking to them the best that could happen?
Does that outweigh the worst it could happen?
And if so, go for it. Don't hold anything back.
Yeah, that's something that I mean.

(01:18:20):
For those of you, if you're listening and you're like, I
don't want to do that, I'm not going to do that.
You're going to have to do it atsome point.
You're going to have to learn that lesson or you're literally
never going to do anything ever.Like you.
You have to be a human and exist.
You have to get out there and dosomething like.
If you do it sooner rather than later, it will benefit you so
much. I'm being serious.

(01:18:41):
You will be so far ahead of the curve Like it.
I mean, I, I'm. I have gotten money for college
because I've learned how to talkto people like I I one thing is
I got an extra $9000 for collegebecause I was just persistent.
You know, I I would e-mail people and all the time I I feel

(01:19:06):
bad for them. I would meet with them alone.
That's one thing that they told me that I didn't realize wasn't
normal is they said that I was very.
Independent compared to most people.
Because whenever I would go on and meet with these like
financial people, like I would do it like I would be the one
talking to them, not my parents.And if you learn how to do that,

(01:19:27):
if you learn how to self advocate, self advocacy is
something that's very important,will benefit you throughout your
life a lot. If you learn how to do that,
learn how to do it now. Excuses are are.
That's, that's one thing that I would should also add to one
thing that I think could help our generation is I think that

(01:19:48):
with drive and with focus, if you're unfocused, it's usually
because you're making excuses for yourself.
Like what you were saying that like we need our phone for this,
we need it for that. Like I one thing that I am
guilty of is like. If I'm like looking at a video
or something, instead of doing something else, I'll be like,
oh, I can like maybe I'll find something encouraging or I'll

(01:20:10):
find something that I can send to somebody to make their day,
You know, like it's I. One thing that I've learned to
do is if I want to do something,I'll do it later.
Is not a valid excuse. Yeah, yeah.
I think people want to rationalize their addiction
because I feel like. The phone is the, like, most

(01:20:33):
widely accepted drug. Like that's what it is, is it
gives you a dope. Other thing you call users.
Yeah, and that's true. Wow, that's actually getting
wild, I guess kind of wrapping up the podcast cuz you kind of
have to go to work soon. What is your.

(01:20:56):
Biggest life advice right now because I've asked that question
before and people are like, well, I don't know, I'm, it's
just kind of where I'm at right now and I'm going to continue to
develop. So I'm asking it for right now
where you are in your personal development.
What is your biggest life advice?
Well, usually I would say like get comfortable with being

(01:21:16):
uncomfortable, but I think that we covered that and I'm going to
utilize as much as I can. Can only be one thing.
Or can it be a? You can say it multiple.
OK. Because one thing that you you
gave me is a prompt that you might ask with how to be like
break out of that shy shell. So I kind of came up with like a

(01:21:39):
good procedure that I think helps me.
So I might Ioffer that up. OK.
So I think in order to, if you consider yourself a very shy
person, you know, if you really struggle with talking to new
people and getting out of that comfort zone, whenever it comes
to people, first and foremost I'd say figure out the kind of

(01:22:00):
person that you want to be said that before.
And I think that that's very, very important.
And I say visualize that, you know, like before I go into the
new setting, I will picture. The the kind of person that I
want to be like, I will picture myself laughing.
I will picture myself talking topeople.
I would talk, visualize a smile and how like people might react

(01:22:21):
to me, you know? So come decide who you want to
be and then after that pick out a nice outfit, you know, I would
say find your style. And I think that that's
something that people don't really.
And maybe that doesn't work for everybody, but that works for
me. Like, like me, whenever I go

(01:22:42):
into something that I'm nervous about, you comment on my happy
pants. I'm wearing my happy pants right
now. They have smiley faces on them
and I'll wear them if I'm going into setting.
That isn't necessarily like I'm worried about meeting people.
Such a great conversation starter, you know?
I dress so that I'll look approachable, you know?

(01:23:03):
I dress so that I feel comfortable and confident.
So find something that you feel confident in.
I think that's very, very important.
And I think that that can make ahuge difference, at least it
does for me. And that's not just for girls.
Like one of the first things I noticed about Saul and I think I
told you is that like you have great fashion sense and you
don't see that with guys a lot. So that makes a huge difference.

(01:23:23):
Like I I feel like guys with fashion sense are very
approachable and so I would say that find your fashion.
Ask questions. That's one thing that made a
huge difference for me. Like, I I mean, I probably went
too far. I literally had a list of

(01:23:43):
questions in my phone. Then whenever, the moment I was
just known for this, like it wasfunny.
Well, I thought it was, maybe itwasn't.
But I people would be like, Chris, are you going to pull out
your list again? And he'll be like.
You know, if you insist. And I just had a list of
questions and I never liked small talk.
And I found out that if you ask deeper questions, like, people

(01:24:07):
usually react better than you expect to.
That and you can learn a lot about people.
Like I I like learning about people and it's very interesting
to hear different answers. So have questions that you're
going to ask. And you'll learn people like
talking about themselves like that's that's one thing.
And that's not. And I'm not saying that in a way

(01:24:27):
that people are conceited. I'm saying that in the way that
it's. People like people that are like
themselves or and they they justlike themselves because it makes
them feel good. They're like, oh, there's
something value about. And it's more comfortable.
Yeah. You know, like you don't have to
be worried that you're not goingto find an answer if it's you.
Like, if somebody's like, oh, what do you do for fun?
Like what? And so know what you're going to

(01:24:49):
ask. Like have questions and just ask
them. Don't trail off at the end of
your sentence. That's a shirt tail sign that
you're not confident. Oh, the other thing that I
forgot to mention is work on a walk.
Like people. Yeah, work on a walk the way
that you walk. I I literally would.

(01:25:11):
I would work on my walk like have your head up, don't look at
the floor, move your arms. That's really important because
if you don't move your arms thatI I can look at people and I can
see who is and isn't confident by who moves.
If they just have their arms straight down, that's a sure
tail sign of an over thinker. Am I?
Am I confident based on the way I walk?

(01:25:32):
Yeah. Yeah, Yeah.
Cool. Yeah.
Any other advice for the peeps? I had other things.
Eye contact. That's important.
I always think 75% of the time you should be making eye
contact, but not all the time, cuz that's great pieces 75% of
the time. Stick with that.
Yeah, and a lot of communicationis nonverbal.
So if you wanna be, we've talkedabout on the podcast before.

(01:25:55):
If you wanna be successful, there are certain things you
should check out. My episode of Blake.
I think it's episode. 871 of them you should give that a
listen cuz he talks all about communication and the best way
is to communicate. Yeah anything else I.
Think I covered most of them. Awesome.

(01:26:16):
All righty. Well, thank you for listening.
Thank you for being on the podcast.
Chris, is there anything you wanna like, plug or tell the
people about? Yes.
I'm going to, I'm going to put in a shameless plug.
OK, So our podcast is not established yet.
We want my friend and I, Charlotte Mekovic.
I love her so much. I'm plugging that right now.

(01:26:37):
Charlotte, if you're listening, I love you with everything in
me. OK.
Anyway, so we're going to be starting our podcast, hopefully
in the next six months. We have to wait till we get to
college so we can use our mics. And we plan to be.
We plan for it to be called What's the point.
So look for that because I'll give a little sorry I'm a rant.

(01:26:58):
You learn that I talk a lot. But the reason why we call it
that is because I Charlotte, onething that she'll always do is
she'll look up answers for things her she'll look things up
knowing that she's not going to get an answer like she'll look
up like does Chris I hate me. We're like like.

(01:27:21):
Is this weird? Like I look up famous people's
phone numbers and I never get ananswer.
Oh, I actually, that's one thingI've been doing lately is I
emailed famous people. Really.
Yeah, just asking for advice did.
They did, they answer. Not yet, OK, One time I couldn't
sleep, so I emailed Obama. Oh really?
Yeah. Yeah.
But if you're on Rico, please answer me.

(01:27:42):
I moved Bill Gates the other day.
I feel like Bill Gates would kind of answer that you.
Might, Yeah, yeah. I haven't heard back yet, but.
He died a program once where if you didn't get a phone, I think
it was 16 or 18. I couldn't remember.
He would give you like $1000 if you didn't have a phone, yeah.
My cousin's could have done that.
They weren't allowed to have a phone until they were 18.

(01:28:03):
Yeah, I he cancelled the program.
I don't know why, maybe because he owns Microsoft.
But anyway, yeah, so that was cool, but.
Anything else? So what's the Point?
Podcast. Yeah, but anyway, what I was
getting with that is that she'lllook up things, just writing
things, just knowing that she's not going to get an answer.

(01:28:23):
And I just picture somebody justat a low point in their life,
just looking up. What's the point that?
Should be the graphic like in Google search, just what's the
point, yeah? Look for it.
Look for it. Yeah, that's great.
Awesome. Alrighty.
Well, thank you so much for being on the podcast.

(01:28:44):
Wax on, Wax off. This is the finale episode, so
get ready for Season 2 coming in, I think September.
But we'll see. What's the point?
Once they have links and stuff, the link will be in the bio.
So this will be coming out in two weeks from now.
So, yeah, Alrighty. Well, thank you so much for
being on the podcast, and thank you guys for listening.

(01:29:06):
Bye, everyone.

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Grasshopper Talk - Chrissa #11

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Grasshopper Talk - Chrissa #11