July 5, 2023 • 48 mins
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Finding purpose through despair and tragedy is no easy feat, but our guest, life coach author and public speaker Carey Conley, has managed to do just that. After experiencing the heart-wrenching loss of both her husband and son to suicide, Carey transformed her anguish into hope. Together, we explore the challenges of entrepreneurship, the necessity of an anchor of hope, and the power of spiritual connections.
Carey opens up about her incredible journey through success as an entrepreneur, her transition to coaching, and her passion for teaching others about the importance of having a written vision. We discuss the significance of self-care and healing, as well as the extraordinary spiritual connection she shares with her son even after his passing. Carey's candid accounts of her own grieving process inspire us to be resilient in the face of adversity.
Important links...
Carey's FREE e- book: Vision is Victory
Support & resource group: Helping Parent's Heal
Other Books Mentioned in this Episode...
Keep Looking Up by Carey Conley & Laurel Wilson
Signs by Laura Lynne Jackson
Bridges to Heaven by Sue Frederick
Carey's Podcast: Moving Through & BeyondÂ
Find Carey online...
CareyConley.com
Carey's Instagram
Carey's Facebook
Carey's LinkedIn
As always, thank you for listening to We All Have Something. If you wish to connect with Rick beyond the podcast:
Website: www.CoachRickSchwartz.com
YouTube: @RickSchwartz
Instagram: @Coach_Rick_Schwartz
Facebook Page:Â @CoachRickSchwartz
TikTok: @Coach_Rick_Schwartz
***If you are having any thoughts of self harm and need someone to reach out to please call: 1-800-273- TALK (8255)
Or use the new 988 number for calling or texting for support.
Episode Music "Inspiration Corporate" by Sandra Inspiration Music
Music rights purchased through AudioJungle.
Nothing in this podcast should be taken as therapy, medical or mental health care. Topics discussed on this podcast reflect the personal experiences of the host and guests of We All Have Something and are not intended to, nor should they, replace the services of medical care, mental health care or therapy.
If you are having thoughts of self harm or ending your life, please call or text 988 - Help is available 24/7.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
There's a quote that I love, and I never get this
completely right, but you'll getthe gist of it.
It's by Andy Stanley, okay, andit is write your vision in pen,
but your path in pencil, andwhat he means by that is that I
am very clear that my vision ismy God given purpose, so that
has not changed.
Even with all the things in mylife changing in a direction
(00:22):
that I never saw coming, myvision has just been inked in.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
I'm Rick Schwartz, life coach, public speaker and
all around curious guy.
My curiosity, my life and thelives of the many people I have
worked with have taught me timeand time again that there are
challenges to overcome andsuccesses to celebrate.
You're listening to We All HaveSomething, a podcast about the
(00:48):
human experience, a podcastabout celebrating our authentic
self.
So let's get started.
Welcome to another episode ofWe All Have Something a listener
supported podcast.
If you would like to be asupporting listener, all you got
to do is go to the episodenotes, very first link at the
very top there, click on thatand get started And as a thank
(01:08):
you, of course, you'll receivean email, even some cool
stickers in the mail from me,and while there's all sorts of
perks to becoming a supporterand of course, our supporters
allow us to keep this ad free,and I know you're going to be
very happy that this episode isad free.
We have a very special guestand I'll tell you what.
Carrie Conley is someone I metthrough my work with Oula.
(01:29):
We both do much more than thatand Carrie has been through so
much and has done so much.
I was really excited to get heron the podcast and you'll
listen as we go through this.
This isn't just about coaching.
It's not just about impactingothers around the world.
We talk.
the conversation goes a lot ofdifferent directions.
Stick with it.
It's really interesting, it'sreally cool, and I really
(01:49):
appreciate the honesty and justopenness that Carrie offered
through this conversation.
Now Carrie has had a flourishingbusiness career which has taken
her all around the world, youknow.
Unfortunately, tragedy struckand everything changed.
She lost her husband, ross, in2014 and just three years later,
she lost her son, cole, at age26, both to suicide.
(02:13):
After these devastating losses,she was faced with a choice to
find purpose through despair orthrow in the towel, and,
thankfully for all of us, shechose purpose.
While she has enjoyed herbusiness prior to losing Ross
and Cole, she knew that the nextchapter was calling her to rise
to a new level that would havean impact on more people on a
(02:35):
larger scale.
She wants to help those whofeel lost in this world without
a purpose, and Carrie helpspeople create a crystal clear
written vision for every area oftheir life, so they take action
every day toward living theirpurpose.
Carrie has found it's thepurpose that gives people hope.
Carrie is an author and aspeaker And when she's not
traveling, sharing herexperiences and wisdom, you can
(02:56):
find her hosting her own podcast, moving Through and Beyond, a
podcast dedicated to sharingstories of raw, honest hardships
in life and how you canovercome these obstacles to live
your best life.
Carrie, i want to thank you somuch for taking the time to be
on We All Have Something and foragreeing to share your story
with the listening audience.
I know in the interaction wecovered some of what you have
(03:19):
been through and everythingyou're doing now, but I'd love
to hear it from you.
Would you be so kind as toshare your story with us and the
lessons you have learned alongthe way?
Speaker 1 (03:27):
Yeah Well, thank you first of all for having me on,
Rick.
We've been looking forward tothis, So um, I'm glad that we're
finally making this happen.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
Me too, me too.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
Um, you know, I have to kind of go back many, many
years ago, to when I was about28 years old to kind of give you
the full circle.
Um, at that point this was thelate 80s My husband and I had
been out of college for a yearor two, both doing the nine to
five thing, because that's whatwe're taught to do, and my
husband was very successful withthat, and I did not do that
nine to five thing very well.
(03:56):
So I had a mentor come into mylife, tell me something I'd
never heard before, and what shetold me was I could create my
life to look like however Iwanted it to look.
I just need to get super clearon what that was.
And so I took a day off of workwith a legal pad of paper
because you know, this was the80s Uh, i sat down and wrote out
(04:17):
in great detail what I wantedmy life to look like, what kind
of uh mom I wanted to be when westarted having kids, the
relationship I wanted to havewith my husband.
And then I started noodling abunch of ideas around how I
could work from home once westarted having the kids, um, and
work around their schedule, hadthat kind of freedom Uh, makes,
make a great income and all thethings And so fast forward had
(04:38):
had.
My son was still working fulltime and I was pregnant with my
daughter when I got introducedto, um, the first company that I
went into, which is a companycalled Arbonne, which most
people are familiar with, andthat's what I did while I was
raising my kids.
And the one thing I had to doas a leader in that company is I
had to teach uh other people toget really, really clear on
their why, right out theirvision, really big Greg, because
(05:00):
I knew that if they didn't havethat as an anchor, all the
things we go through asentrepreneurs is hard and I knew
they were gonna quit if theydidn't have this really strong
vision.
Right.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
Right.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
So 10 years ago, when my kids were leaving the house
we were becoming empty nestersis when I created um.
My curriculum around it calledvision is victory, so I started
teaching the public how to gettheir someday plan out of their
head and onto paper.
Um, and that worked.
And so I started getting askedto coach people.
So I started bringing peopleinto coaching, and then I ended
(05:34):
up running four year longmastermind groups all at once.
For a while, uh started gettingasked to speak.
You know all the things.
That's where it's brought me totoday.
So unfortunately, though, in thepast almost nine years now, uh
lost my husband in 2014 tosuicide And then, three years
later, lost my 26 year old son,also to suicide.
(05:57):
Um, so at that point, mydaughter was just getting out of
college and she and I decidedto co-write a book together in
2019 called keep looking up, andso we started very publicly
sharing our story and startedspeaking together, and so now,
when I speak about vision andthe importance of having one,
and having it in writing, i'mreally, really focused now on
(06:19):
this being an anchor of hope forpeople.
I'm super focused on youngadults right now.
Like they've got their my, i,my, i.
They're on my radar big timeright now, um, because it's no
surprise what's happening intheir world.
Um, you know it's challengingenough.
When you and I came out ofschool and you know, in our 20s,
(06:40):
whatever it was tough, but nowit's just nuts, um.
So that's where I'm at rightnow, um, very, very passionate
about vision.
I just know there's a deeperpurpose behind it than teaching
people how to run a businesswith it.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Yeah, and I want to.
I want to, if you don't mind, iwant to go back and pick apart
your story to get a betterunderstanding.
I want to.
I want to be able to put somecontrast on everything you have
accomplished and survived andbeen through, because that's a
lot obviously.
I mean, i don't need to tellyou that and you know that and
you share that and you and yourdaughter share that with the
(07:13):
world.
And I want to step back firstto the building up and ramping
up of of the the why.
Yeah, creating your businesses,uh, becoming, uh, someone
people are going to say Hey, canyou, coach, can you come speak
That process for you?
was that part of your?
why, or was that more of anorganic growth thing?
Why, or was that more of anorganic growth that took on its
(07:37):
own?
Speaker 1 (07:38):
Being out speaking.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
Yeah, out speaking and coaching and all of that.
Obviously, you wanted to createand come from home, you wanted
to be a business leader.
You did that Right.
But then you mentioned it kindof grew into more Was that part
of your why?
or did that become uh, clearervision as to, oh yeah, i do want
to do that?
Speaker 1 (07:55):
as it progressed, You know what's so funny about that
question And I usually sharethis and I totally overlooked it
.
So when I sat down that day andwrote out in great detail what
I wanted my life to look likeAnd I started noodling ideas
about being an entrepreneur, ihad no idea what I wanted to do,
rick, but I had some ideas,right.
So I wrote that I might be amarketing consultant, because my
(08:16):
background at that point was inadvertising and marketing, so I
thought I'd just be aconsultant.
Um, i wrote that I wanted to beworking with a lot of female
leaders.
I wrote question marks around,maybe in a company that's in
skincare or health and wellness.
Now, this was way before I evenheard about our bond.
Right, just noodling ideas, butout of my head for the first
(08:37):
time ever.
Probably on the last line ofthat piece of paper, i wrote
that someday I wanted to be aspeaker and a trainer on vision
and goal setting.
So God planted the seed thatday, knowing that was what was
coming in my life.
Right, and so that was thevision.
I knew when I went into beingan entrepreneur that I wanted to
(08:58):
make money and make an impact,but I also knew that I wanted to
do it in a bigger way biggerstages, bigger platforms.
This was way before podcasting.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
Right.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
Now I've been on several.
And have grown, And have grownyeah, so yeah, it's always been
the bigger vision And, to behonest with you, i love speaking
, probably more than anythingelse I do.
I love it.
Just prop me up on a stage,give me a microphone and an
audience and I am super happythere.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
Did you know that when you sat down and wrote that
stuff down on that legal pad,or did you discover that along
the way?
Speaker 1 (09:34):
Not really To be honest with you.
No, not really.
I'd never really spoken infront of groups of people, and
that all started happening whenI started moving up the ranks of
Arbonne, Started running my ownmeetings and started doing
bigger presentations, and thenwe would do big trainings, and
so I just kind of gravitatedthere and I loved it.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
It's interesting to hear your story about the fact
that that was the last line ofwhat you wrote down.
I would assume you present thisto your guests as well, but
what I see there just again as acoach so who's pushing people
is complete, every detail.
when you're writing down yourwhy, when you're really trying
to journal out or empty out yourmind of what's truly there at
(10:18):
the core because sometimes youhave to work through all the
stuff you've heard other peoplesay about you or what you're
good at, versus then gettingdown to what's really in your
heart And it's so cool to hearthat the last line ends up being
the part that is what's mostfulfilling for you right now.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
And that's just like you said.
You and I, as coaches that isour job is to help people read
between the lines.
So, as really good coaches, ican hear I won't coach anybody
until they have taken a shot atwriting out their three year
vision for me, because I can'thelp them create a game plan
(10:57):
unless I know what the vision isof where they wanna go and what
they want their life to looklike.
And a lot of times when theywrite it out they get really
stuck, they get very emotionaland they think that the reasons
they're not going after theirdreams are XYZ right.
But I can kind of see betweenthat it's really more than that.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
Right.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
And kind of pull that out of them and help them deal
with those things.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
Yeah, and that's part of it.
Right Is that we can shine alight in the corner that they
don't wanna look in.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
Right in a very loving way.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
Well, of course, yes, in a very loving way.
But the reality is the answeris always, within the client,
correct, And we help them findit because sometimes, for
whatever reason, they want tooverlook it or not believe it or
have been told so many times intheir past it's not real or
true or anything like that.
Right, no, that's really cool.
That's really cool.
I appreciate that you know andyou recognize your growth and
(11:54):
your path to where you are todayin that.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
Of course, the other side of your story too, then, is
the tragedy that you have livedthrough twice, which is suicide
being a part of your family.
One thing that I have in everysingle episode note and in every
intro of this podcast is the988 number to reach out for
suicide prevention.
If you're feeling anything nearthat, you know, i know a fair
(12:21):
amount of people who've had itbe a part of their life one way
or another.
If you don't mind me asking foryou and your journey being a
surviving family member And Ithink this is an important story
to share, because I see yourpath.
I see I met you, obviously justa couple of years ago through
ULA Right, and to know what youhave been through, but seeing
(12:43):
where you are now and how muchyou work to empower others, i
just think it's important forpeople to see that Survivors,
surviving family members ofsuicide, i think it's really
important that they see yourpath as an opportunity, as
perhaps not necessarily ablueprint for them, because
everybody's different, but justto understand that you can go
(13:03):
through that and come out theother side with vision and with
direction.
Do you mind sharing a littlemore of that experience with my
audience?
as far as what you went throughwith your family.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
Oh well, you know it's number one and most people
will tell you, in our case wenever saw it coming.
So when the day my husbandpassed, you know it was just a
complete shock.
We knew he was strugglingspecifically with some
transitions that was going on inhis career And, you know, he
(13:39):
just had not been himself.
But I'd never in a millionyears thought that he would take
that step.
And so when all that happened,it became very surreal for a
long time.
It was in the midst of a timewhere my son had just graduated
from college, two months priorto my husband's death, and we
(13:59):
lived in Colorado.
My husband and I were fromColorado, we raised our kids
there.
My son had just gotten backfrom a five week graduation trip
that he had taken with hisbuddies and he had already
accepted a job to work forChannel 12 in Arizona.
So once we got through theMemorial and all the things and
(14:20):
got my daughter back to collegebecause she was starting her
junior year I got my son toArizona so that he could start
his job and I started livinghalf time in Arizona, half time
in Denver.
So the next two years was just ablur, because this is when my
year long masterminds that Itold you about that.
I was running four of them allat once.
It was during that time, wow,in the midst of all of that, my
(14:42):
business, my coaching business,took off.
So I ran with it And it was agodsend for me truly during that
time.
And then when my son died,another shock, just completely.
You know, my daughter and Ijust got through all that, got
(15:04):
through his Memorial And Iactually ended up kind of going.
I didn't totally disappear, butI kind of went underground for
about a year.
I was still.
I still finished out mycoaching commitments that I had
already Rick, because I had somepeople still in the year long
program that I need to finish up.
(15:24):
But I stopped getting myselfout there to bring in more
clients just so that I couldfigure out how I was going to
move through all that Started.
You know, my daughter wentthrough counseling.
I tried counseling for a while.
It did not, wasn't working forme, so I really went within.
I did a lot of quiet time right, and during that time what also
(15:49):
helped me is I had some people.
This might go in a totallydifferent direction here, but I
had some people show up in mylife just randomly, that are
what I call super high-intuitivepeople that could send me
messages from my angels, right,whatever you want to believe.
That really gave me a lot ofpeace.
So I made a lot on God, a loton my faith and a lot on just
(16:15):
knowing that they're reallystill here.
This mission I'm on right nowit's all fueled by them.
So there's so much.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
I want to ask you And I appreciate you, I appreciate
you opening up and sharingpeople coming to you with the
intuitive side of the story Andpeople coming to you with the
intuitive side of things and thespiritual side of it, because I
believe that's an importantcomponent that often we all shy
away from because we'reconcerned about what that might
look like for others, And I lovethat part of the human
(16:47):
experience.
I believe we're very muchspiritual beings having a human
experience And so when we talkabout this stuff, I invite it
and open it with all my heartAnd I want to get there.
I want to talk about that.
But let's step back just alittle bit.
You had mentioned when yourhusband passed, you were so just
(17:07):
in everything your coachingbusiness took up.
all that Was that yourself-care was to dive into your
work, or was there other aspectsin working through the process
of having just lost your husband?
And I ask more for otherlisteners out there that may be
going through something similaror have experienced something
similar, as far as everyone hastheir own process, Everyone has
their own thing that works forthem.
(17:27):
But I'm just curious was thattherapeutic for you there to
have that work to focus on?
or was there something else youwere working on too, with that
work, keeping you focused butthen other parts to help you
heal?
Speaker 1 (17:39):
You know, a lot of people begged me to slow down.
A couple people said to meplease don't make any major
decisions for at least the firstyear, which is a piece of
advice I think a lot of peoplegive, and for some people I
think that's really true Inhindsight now.
Well, you can't go back, right,you can't change Right?
Speaker 2 (18:03):
of course No, but you can learn.
But you can learn You can.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
I wouldn't change anything that I did, let's put
it this way.
But I did make some majorchanges in my life in that first
year.
Okay, i moved to Arizona.
I bought a house there becauseI loved Arizona, sold my house
in Colorado one year after myhusband passed and bought a
(18:27):
condo and a high-rise therebecause I thought at that point
the kids and I were still goingto want to go back to Denver for
periods of time, and later soldthat condo because, after my
son passed, my daughter and Iwere like we're not going back.
So it was just, i think, whatit was for me.
(18:48):
I was having so much fun doingit, rick, that it was my piece
in the storm.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
Mm-hmm, makes sense Yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:58):
I was meeting a lot of really fun people.
I was involved in a hugenetworking group that I had
created in Denver with threeother very good friends of mine.
We were traveling together andthat was fun.
I leaned on them heavily duringthat time.
So yeah, it just.
I'm not giving anybody adviceon how to handle what they need
to do.
I did what felt right for me atthe time, absolutely yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
And that's what I want to hear really, because
recognizing that everyone hastheir own path, but sometimes,
when we hear someone else'sstory, we can reflect on how it
might be appropriate orrelatable to us and our needs.
So that's what I'm asking.
Yeah, not asking for advice,asking for just the story.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
So the book that my daughter and I wrote is called
Keep Looking Up, And in it wetell our story, but we share 11
chapters of things that welearned that helped us get
through the process.
And we wrote that because wehad so many people and still do
come to us saying that they werestruggling through something
(19:59):
not necessarily a loss likewe've been through, but
something and wondered whathelped us Mostly.
We had a lot of people come tous saying, hey, I've got
somebody right now that is goingthrough something really
challenging and I don't know howto help them.
And so we wrote 11 chapters onall the things that we learned
in the journey that helped us,in hopes that it would be a tool
(20:19):
for people to be able to usefor themselves and for their
friends.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
Yeah, it makes sense, makes, sense.
Speaker 1 (20:25):
Yeah, And one of the things we wrote was it's so
interesting.
so many people, you know, whenyou go through loss, they want
to know how to help you.
They want to help so badly.
And a lot of times, when peopledo want to help somebody, what
they'll do is they'll helpsomebody in the way that they
would want to be helped, notnecessarily how that person
(20:45):
wants to be helped.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
Yeah, yeah, well, that makes, yeah, makes sense.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
So you know, normal thing when you lose a family
member is people want to bringyou food, lots and lots of food,
and from the get-go I toldeverybody please do not bring me
food, please do not bring mefood, please do not bring me
food.
Because what ends up happeningis you end up getting all this
food that you end up eithertossing or you've got to give
(21:11):
back, or you know it's just.
It becomes a thing.
Speaker 2 (21:14):
It becomes a chore to deal with.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
Yeah, so when my son passed, when he worked for
Channel 12, he got really closeto all the anchors on the news
station and everybody there.
He was like a light in thatbuilding.
They brought us $500 worth offood gift cards for restaurants
in Arizona And I had a housefull of people during that time.
(21:37):
A lot of colds.
Friends came and stayed And soit was great because every night
they could just take a giftcard, order the food it'd be
delivered.
We'd be done with it, you knowit's just about that.
Yeah, it makes sense We also didnot want a lot of people
sitting around with us, huggingus and crying and you know, just
not our way, but a lot ofpeople, that's what they want.
(21:57):
We just needed space.
So, yeah, we just we learned alot and still do, we're still
learning.
Speaker 2 (22:04):
Of course, of course, yeah, so you've go through both
of those experiences.
Obviously, just going throughone could be enough to throw
someone completely back on theirheels, and you mentioned then,
when you were sharing the storyearlier, that there were
intuitive folks coming into yourlife more on the spiritual side
of things.
Did you seek that out, or wasit more just a coincidence of
(22:26):
the higher power making ithappen?
Speaker 1 (22:28):
It was not.
I did not seek it out, It wasall God and them Can you share a
little bit more.
Yeah.
So I think the first time wasabout six months after my son
passed.
I have a friend in Arizona whois very, very spiritually
connected.
She does soul charts for people, if you know what those are,
(22:49):
and she came to me and said Hey,i have this friend who is a
medium, highly intelligent womanAnd she's wanting to do like a
workshop on the predictions shehas for the next seven years.
And I'm like I don't carewhatever.
And I said Well, i have areally nice club house in my
apartment building.
If you want to go, look at that, it might be a really great
(23:10):
place.
So we went and looked at it.
She said, yeah, this is great.
She said, well, set it up for aSunday afternoon.
I don't know if anybody's goingto come, but we'll just do it.
And I said, okay, great, well,because this woman is so
connected in Arizona.
There was like 50 people whoshowed up that afternoon.
Wow, and the woman who wasconducting this thing was giving
(23:30):
her.
She used to like do consultingfor, like army, you know, major
people like in the governmentand in a military, because she's
that intuitive about what'scoming.
She was giving a lot ofpredictions And I was just kind
of sitting in the back of theroom going, okay, you know, this
is great.
And after the room had allcleared out, she came up to me
and said How are you stillstanding?
Speaker 2 (23:55):
Take the time you need.
Sorry, don't be sorry.
It's part of the humanexperience.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
Yeah, she said.
I looked at my friend who hadbrought this woman.
I said What?
what have you told her?
She said I haven't told hermuch at all.
But this woman apparently juststarted telling me all these
things about my son that nobodycould have known And my husband,
(24:34):
but a lot of.
my son.
my son, i believe, has had thegift of being super connected to
the other side.
He used to tell me all the timethat he could feel his dad.
So anyway, that was the firsttime where she just said you
know all these things aboutwhere he was and what he wanted
(24:58):
me to know and what reallyhappened.
And then it was just so.
it was just stuff like that.
I started really seeking herout And then I started learning
more about it.
Really good book that I readabout six months ago called
Signs by another very, very wellknown medium Her name is Laurel
(25:18):
and Jackson.
I'm talking a lot about how wecan connect to them on the other
side and ask for signs.
So I've just been a random likenetworking events where
somebody will come up to me andsay, hey, just want you to know
your son's here, like yes, iknow.
Speaker 2 (25:38):
I was about to ask you what's that feel like.
Like you know, is it like apunch to the gut to have that
come up in the middle ofsomething like that, or is it
more like?
no, i know he's here.
Speaker 1 (25:45):
Yeah, in the beginning I think it really
shocked me, but the more that itkept happening, it just I know
he's here, Like I said, he'sfueling this, this mission.
I'm on now for young adults,right, but you know, for them to
just describe him, and, oh mygosh, i was on a radio show one
(26:06):
day.
I can't even tell this storySucker punched me The middle of
a live radio broadcast, thewoman producing the show I was
being interviewed by a motherand a daughter who the mother
had lost her son to suicide many, many years ago.
We weren't talking about that.
We were talking about vision,work and purpose and what I do.
(26:28):
And the producer behind thescenes just all of a sudden
stops the radio broadcast andgoes Okay, who here is sissy And
the mother, daughter like eachother.
No, we've never used that.
I said we call my daughtersissy And she said there is a
young man in my head that willnot let me stop saying please
(26:52):
tell sissy, i'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (26:54):
Oh yeah, oh goodness, wow, yeah.
And how in the world did yourecover from that moment?
Because, like right now, i'mfeeling it too Yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:12):
I think I don't know that I cried.
I think I just froze because Ididn't know what to do next.
Speaker 2 (27:18):
Right.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
And so it was just a surreal moment.
And so, when I left there thenext day, the daughter of this
mother daughter team, who's afriend of mine, called me, and
she said so.
My producer wanted me to reachout to you to say that she
thinks it had to do somethingwith your daughter's wedding.
And I said, yeah, he wassupposed to walk her down the
aisle.
Oh man, i'm a mess.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
I appreciate you sharing, though I really do.
I appreciate you so muchbecause this is powerful, you
know, obviously for you, but Ithink these are stories that are
important to share And, like Isaid before when you first
brought up the spiritual side ofit, i think a lot of us in our
culture right now need more ofthis connection and this
(28:14):
understanding, and I thinkthere's a certain part of our
culture that is very, i don'tknow, shy of it or concerned of
its power, or I don't want toadmit it, but the more people
you talk to, everyone has it.
There's that connection andthese moments happen.
It's very much a part of ourlives.
(28:37):
So I appreciate you sharingthat.
I know that wasn't easy andprobably not where you thought
this was going to go today.
Not at all Not at all, but.
I really appreciate it because Ithink it's an important element
also to bring it back into whatyou and I find as our calling,
which is that making adifference in the world, that
(28:57):
supporting other people, thatbringing our experiences and
living through our experiencesallows us to show up and do what
we do.
And I love the fact that youacknowledge that what you're
doing now, your work with youngadults, is fueled by the
spiritual impact.
You know that your husband andyour son have with them on the
(29:20):
other side and you hear in thephysical plane doing what you're
doing, and your daughter aswell.
If you don't mind me asking,what was the process in which
you can start acknowledging thatHere you are now, doing it and
you can say this I definitelyfeel it.
But what was the process thatbrought you to where you are now
with the coaching and the workyou're doing with young adults,
(29:41):
knowing that it was fueled inpart by your husband and your
son?
Speaker 1 (29:47):
You know, it's been almost well, almost six years
now since my son passed, andI've been saying this for
probably five years and it'sjust now where I'm stepping all
into it, And I think it's acombination of reasons.
One the reason I think it tookme so long was I still had a lot
of attachment to coaching, andit took me a long time to let
(30:11):
that go, rick, for a lot ofreasons.
It's what I know to do, it'swhat I knew to monetize.
There was a lot of piece bypiece.
I had to let go of a lot ofstuff before I could really just
now say, okay, i'm all in onthis.
The other piece of this is Oula, because now what I want to do
(30:34):
is bring people, young adults,into communities, and I'm going
to power that with Oula as thefoundation.
So Dr Dave and I, theco-founder of Oula, have been
talking about what that wouldlook like.
So now I have where I'm notdoing it alone and I have places
(30:55):
to send them, to give themtools to use.
Speaker 2 (30:58):
Well, yeah, the community that Oula offers is so
powerful.
Yeah, so it makes completesense.
Speaker 1 (31:03):
Yeah, And this is their heart too young adults and
kids.
They just have not been able tofocus on that because of
everything else they've beenputting into place the past few
years.
Speaker 2 (31:13):
Right, a lot of building lately.
Speaker 1 (31:15):
So I'm kind of leading that community, so I'm
excited about it and we're justgoing to see how it unfolds.
Speaker 2 (31:22):
Right, right, i want to go back real quick through
the process now of what you'reletting go of, what you're
restructuring for yourself inthe direction you're going and
acknowledging that you feelsomewhat guided.
What was that process for youto acknowledge that guidance?
And the reason I ask is I thinka lot of times we get
(31:45):
inclinations or feelings oncertain things or we feel that
tingle or that warmth, but thenwe're like, oh, it was just a
coincidence, or oh, what's infront of us?
or ego, if you will.
Speaker 1 (31:56):
Right.
Speaker 2 (31:57):
Speaks up louder.
It's no, no, no, to ignore that.
That's not the right thing todo.
It sounds like to me like youare really following the
intuition and the connectionsthat you feel.
Can you explain that, what thatprocess has been like for you?
Speaker 1 (32:10):
Yeah, i'm going to mention another woman that came
into my life that I want torefer people to.
Her name is Sue Frederick.
She's written many, many books.
One of my favorites is calledBridges to Heaven And she is
somebody who does numerology andalso can connect to the other
side.
(32:30):
Rand thing sitting in anetworking group, she's the
speaker that day and she'stalking about numerology and how
she does your birth numbers andcan define to you what your
mission is, why you're here, theconnection to the other people
that were in your life, like myson coming through me as his mom
, right.
And it wasn't too long after myson had passed that she came
(32:53):
and did this thing And again allthe rooms cleared out and I'm
the last one there and she sitsme down and says I want to do
your numbers and did my birthdayand then also did my sons and
it was just hair raising And itwas just stuff.
You know when people saysomething to you and you can
feel it so deep in your soulthat you just knew it and knew
(33:15):
it and knew it.
Speaker 2 (33:16):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (33:16):
Right Everything she said to me and about my son, I
knew I just had to take it fromhere and let it get here.
Speaker 2 (33:24):
Right.
Speaker 1 (33:25):
And so she's the first person after this random
woman that did that workshop.
I told you about that.
I actually paid her for an hourof her time to connect to my
son and my husband on the otherside and bring messages to me
about what my path is now.
And this was three years ago,the first reading she did for me
.
So I started really opening upto that and started seeking her
(33:47):
out and started the second thing, the second resource I want to
tell people about, is twosummers ago.
Sue introduces me to this woman, elizabeth, and Elizabeth has
created an organization.
She's also in Arizona, but it'stens of thousands of members
around the world called HelpingParents Heal, and it's all
parents who have lost childrenfor multiple reasons and
(34:10):
multiple ages and all the things.
And I connected with this womanthree weeks before their big
conference.
they do every other year inArizona And I said I really want
to be at your conference.
She said we would love to haveyou but we'd have no room.
It's totally sold out.
the hotel is sold out, no roomfor speakers, whatever.
I said, all right, well, i'llhave to wait for the next one
(34:30):
And they only do it every twoyears.
She called me back the next dayand she said we have a ticket
for you.
I was like, okay, but we don'thave a room in the hotel.
I said, no problem, i'll findsome place to stay.
She calls me the next day.
We have a room for you.
Speaker 2 (34:45):
Of course.
Speaker 1 (34:47):
And it was just.
There was 900 people at thisthing, rick, and it was all
parents who have lost their kidsthat, like me, are learning how
to connect to them, and therewere.
Most of the speakers werehighly intuitive, some
science-based, talking about thescience and the spiritual, how
(35:08):
they're bringing it together,which is very exciting, and
mediums bringing messages andletting us know our kids were
all there, all together.
They were thrilled that we weretogether, wanting to connect to
them.
Yeah, it was just so peacefulwhen you're in a room like that.
Speaker 2 (35:28):
I can imagine.
Yeah, yeah.
I don't know if I answered yourquestion, but The original
question was asking for yourprocess to acknowledge the
spiritual connections that werecreated that now bring you to
where you are working for youngadults going.
I know there is.
It's not just my own passion,it's my purpose, but there's
(35:48):
also a deeper connection on thespiritual side that is
acknowledging this or is saying,yes, green light go, yes.
So yeah, the question was kindof how is the process of getting
there?
Because so often I think peopleget intuition speaking to them
but their ego prevents them fromfollowing through or talks them
out of listening to it.
For some, reason, so I was justcurious as to how you bridged
(36:09):
that, because I think for a lotof people they may have that
instinct but then they losesight of it because, like, oh,
no, no, no, just backgroundnoise.
Speaker 1 (36:17):
Well, i was the queen of that land, i was the you
know I would have been.
You know, before all thishappened, i would have been the
person going pfft, whatever,that's not real stuff.
My husband would have thought Iwas absolutely crazy, but I do
believe in hindsight, now thatI've tapped into this, that I
(36:37):
think my son was also veryintuitive and just didn't want
to let us in on that because offear of what he thought we would
think.
Speaker 2 (36:49):
Well, of course, yeah , right, yeah especially if your
instincts were telling you thatyour husband would have thought
you're crazy.
That I'm sure he would have.
He had those ideas that perhapsyou know.
The adults of my life wouldthink poorly of me if I spoke to
them about what I wasexperiencing.
Speaker 1 (37:03):
Well, and that's not what we're taught in this
culture either.
Rick, we're taught, you know,okay, that's fine for everybody
else, whatever, let them go overhere and do the Rulu stuff, but
we do the nine to five gig, youknow get the job, have the
income, the title, all thethings, and we kind of squelch
any thought around.
(37:23):
yeah, i really also know that Ithink both my husband and my
son, if given differentmessaging, would have gone
different paths with theircareers.
Speaker 2 (37:36):
Interesting, interesting.
Speaker 1 (37:37):
And I think that's very common, especially for men
in our world.
Speaker 2 (37:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (37:42):
Right, the cute idea that you want to think about
that, but here's what you'regoing to do.
Speaker 2 (37:50):
Right.
Speaker 1 (37:52):
You're going to get the job, get the career, get the
family, take care of them andto get that kind of thing.
And I think that's why so manyof us don't listen to what's
really our intuition, our gut,what our gut is telling us.
And it's taken me, like I said,five years of really nine years
, but most specifically the pastfive, where I've really just
(38:13):
had to surrender a little bit ata time, and it's a challenge
because I'm still an A-type doer.
Speaker 2 (38:19):
Right.
Speaker 1 (38:20):
Yeah, it's hard for me to take a day and just go.
you know I'm just going to sitin this for today and see what
God does with it Reallychallenge.
Speaker 2 (38:30):
Well, it's a process, it's a learning.
I think you know as a coachit's easy to look at a client
and go yeah, sometimes you needa day to just sit in it, right,
but for yourself it's kind ofhard to go.
Oh, i put the things I got todo.
Speaker 1 (38:41):
Right, right.
You know, especially withsocial media now, you know it's
so, so much pressure on beingplugged in and you know having a
following and you know it'sjust.
I find myself on it way toomuch as a speaker and a coach
And I really have to back awayfrom it because it's just, it
(39:04):
puts a lot of pressure,especially when you see speakers
in our world.
They make it look like they'relike crushing it, right.
Speaker 2 (39:11):
Right.
Speaker 1 (39:12):
And if you're not, there can be some serious
comparison going on.
But I've also learned that mostof them are not crushing it
Right, It's a front to good act,yeah.
Speaker 2 (39:25):
Marketing, yes, yeah.
Speaker 1 (39:28):
So it's a balance, rick.
I balanced the doing with thewaiting, the doing, and then,
you know, I put out what I'masking for, and then I've
learned to just kind of wait,because God always does it way
better than I would have done it.
Speaker 2 (39:42):
Of course, of course, yeah, so with your story now
and we've shared this with theaudience what you've been
through, your experiences andwhere you are now with really
focused on the young adult sideof things you still do speaking
and key network and coaching.
No, is that correct?
Speaker 1 (39:58):
Yes, I don't market the coaching as much as I used
to, but if I have somebody cometo me and say I need you because
of your experiences your lifeexperiences, your business
experience, whatever right Iwill take on a client if I feel
like it's absolutely a godsendand it's the right fit, right.
(40:20):
Speaking I want to do way moreof it.
Like I said, it's my favoritething to do And I'm going to
shift into really reaching outinto where young adults are,
colleges and go in thatdirection, not solely, but I
really want to focus on that andthen continue to build that
community, like I said, withbringing them into.
(40:41):
We don't know the completestructure of it yet, Rick, We're
working on that part of it.
We're working on that part.
But maybe giving them twomonthly calls where we talk on a
subject, Maybe around the F'sand OOLA right, Something on
finance, on family, I'm going tobe figuring out with them what
they want and how they want it.
Speaker 2 (41:01):
Yeah, that'll.
You got to listen to the client, right.
Speaker 1 (41:03):
Right, exactly.
Speaker 2 (41:05):
So, as you're growing this, if somebody who's
listening now either has a youngadult in their life that, like
you know, i think this would begood for them, or they are
themselves a young adultthinking, oh, this sounds like
something I need to be a part of.
Where can they find you?
Where can people go to find outmore information on this and
connect with you?
Speaker 1 (41:23):
Yeah, so my website is just my name, carrieconleycom
.
There's information on thereabout my podcast and how to
reach out to me, how to get onmy weekly newsletter, my email
that goes out and my email isjust Carrie at CarrieConleycom.
Speaker 2 (41:38):
Excellent, excellent.
Well, we will make sure thatall of that connective
information how to get a hold ofyou is in the episode notes, of
course.
One thing that I like to alwaysask my guests is we're starting
to wrap up.
If there was a quote or a memeor like a definitely just that
nugget of information you wouldlove to drop for everybody, what
(42:01):
would that be for you?
What would you offer up?
Speaker 1 (42:05):
There's a quote that I love, and I never get this
completely right, but you'll getthe gist of it.
It's by Andy Stanley And it iswrite your vision in pen, but
your path in pencil.
And what he means by that isthat I am very clear that my
vision is my God given purpose.
So that has not changed.
even with all the things in mylife changing in a direction
(42:27):
that I never saw coming.
my vision has just been inkedin even harder, if that makes
sense.
Speaker 2 (42:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (42:36):
But the path it's a pencil.
So I just want to encouragepeople because a lot of times
when I ask them to write avision for me and I ask them to
think three years out so thatwe've got a timeline, a lot of
people have never done that andthey're afraid to do that
because you know what ifsomething happens like it
happened to me And I just wantto encourage people to not be
(42:57):
afraid of it You've got to writeyour vision out on paper
because if not, you're just kindof living the someday mentality
and a lot of people die withregret that way.
Speaker 2 (43:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (43:06):
So love that quote.
Speaker 2 (43:07):
That's a great one, and I love how that also falls
into.
I mean, i don't know, did youfind that quote before you wrote
down your stuff on that legalpad, or is that after, because
it fits so perfectly with yourstory?
Speaker 1 (43:22):
I know, you know, I didn't even hear that quote
until maybe two years ago.
Speaker 2 (43:26):
Oh, I love it.
Speaker 1 (43:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (43:29):
Talk about being affirmed in the way you have
lived your life, where thatquote just like locks it in for
you.
Speaker 1 (43:33):
Yes, Confirmations, I get them all the time because I
ask am I on the right path?
Am I doing the right thing?
If I'm not, take me off, giveme a sign.
But I usually get confirmations.
Keep going.
Speaker 2 (43:47):
That's awesome.
Yeah, that's awesome.
And the beauty of that quotetoo, i think, points out what a
lot of people, what might be inthe fear of a lot of people when
you ask them to write out thatthree-year vision, is it?
well, if I write it out, then Ihave to do it exactly like this
The reality is that the path isgoing to zigzag all over the
place, but as long as you arelocked in on what the true
(44:08):
vision of your core is, that youcan let that path zigzag all
over, as long as you stayfocused on that big value and
that big vision.
Speaker 1 (44:18):
And to give it time.
You know when I wrote thatvision, when I was 28, i was
married, but we had not starteda family yet, and so when I
wrote that, we didn't even starthaving kids, i think until the
next year, and then we had ourson And I was still working full
time, and then I got pregnantwith my daughter a year and a
half later, and it wasn't untilthen that the thing I'd been
(44:43):
asking for which was my pathusing the R bond to be able to
stay home with my kids showed up.
So people need to know that thevision is there.
You just have to wait for it toshow up.
But the minute it did, it waslike bam.
I knew it Because it checkedall the boxes right.
Speaker 2 (44:58):
Right.
That's part of the need, forthat is that you can reflect
back.
Is this, it Right?
And the answer is if the boxesare checked, then move forward.
Move now.
Speaker 1 (45:08):
Right.
Speaker 2 (45:09):
Right, still do it.
I love it, i love it, i love it, i love it.
Carrie, is there anything elseyou would like to share with the
audience that we didn't touchon today?
Speaker 1 (45:16):
I told you I was going to share a gift with your
audience, and that is the firstbook that I wrote as a workbook.
It's called Vision is Victory,and it walks people through how
to get their vision and writing,and so you can buy it on Amazon
, but I want to give you a linkthat I know you'll share in the
notes that they can download theebook version for free.
Speaker 2 (45:35):
Perfect, wow, thank you.
You're welcome.
That's wonderful, thank you,thank you, and for everyone
listening head down into thenotes of the episode, we'll have
that link along with How to Geta Hold of Carrie, and I'll also
link to the books you mentionedfrom the other authors as well
that seem to be so powerful foryou.
I appreciate you sharing all ofthat.
Again, carrie, thank you somuch.
I know we kind of went all overwith this interview, but I
(45:57):
think your story is so importantto be shared And what you offer
as a coach, the directionyou're going, it's just so
wonderful And honestly, i thinkwe might even end up doing a
follow-up interview with you,just because there's so much
more to unpack.
I think I would love to talkmore in depth about some of this
stuff.
Well, i just enjoy havingconversations with you, so Yeah,
(46:18):
well, we'll see what we can dobefore the season ends.
Maybe get you on one more time.
Speaker 1 (46:22):
We'd love it and we'd love to reciprocate.
Speaker 2 (46:24):
Of course, of course, yes, yeah.
and, by the way, your podcastname again is Moving Through and
Beyond.
And we'll link that down belowas well.
All right, well, Carrie, thankyou so much for being here.
I really do appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (46:36):
No, I appreciate you, Rick.
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (46:38):
And thank you, my dear listeners, for being here.
I appreciate you tremendously.
This podcast has the impact andreach it has because of you,
because you keep tuning in,you've subscribed, you're
sharing, and I can't thank youenough.
This podcast continues to growbecause of you.
If you haven't subscribed yet,be sure to do so.
More great guests are coming up, like Carrie and many others.
And, of course, if you want toreach out to me, you can find
(46:59):
more information about me or mycoaching at coachrickschwardscom
.
There you'll also find links tomy social media or on just
about any social media platform.
You can search Coach RickSchwartz and I'll pop up.
You'll probably find me there.
If you are interested to learnmore about coaching, you can
sign up for a free discovery.
call on my website 30-minuteconversation between you and I.
We do a little Zoom.
We talk about what's going onin your life.
We talk about my coachingstyles.
(47:20):
If we both agree, it's a fit.
well then, hey, we move forwardfrom there.
If not, no big deal.
Either way, it's a goodconversation.
That's going to wrap it up forthis episode.
Thanks again for listening.
I really do appreciate it.
Have a good one, everybody.
MUSIC.
There's a quote that I love, and I never get this
completely right, but you'll getthe gist of it.
It's by Andy Stanley, okay, andit is write your vision in pen,
but your path in pencil, andwhat he means by that is that I
am very clear that my vision ismy God given purpose, so that
has not changed.
Even with all the things in mylife changing in a direction
(00:22):
that I never saw coming, myvision has just been inked in.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
I'm Rick Schwartz, life coach, public speaker and
all around curious guy.
My curiosity, my life and thelives of the many people I have
worked with have taught me timeand time again that there are
challenges to overcome andsuccesses to celebrate.
You're listening to We All HaveSomething, a podcast about the
(00:48):
human experience, a podcastabout celebrating our authentic
self.
So let's get started.
Welcome to another episode ofWe All Have Something a listener
supported podcast.
If you would like to be asupporting listener, all you got
to do is go to the episodenotes, very first link at the
very top there, click on thatand get started And as a thank
(01:08):
you, of course, you'll receivean email, even some cool
stickers in the mail from me,and while there's all sorts of
perks to becoming a supporterand of course, our supporters
allow us to keep this ad free,and I know you're going to be
very happy that this episode isad free.
We have a very special guestand I'll tell you what.
Carrie Conley is someone I metthrough my work with Oula.
(01:29):
We both do much more than thatand Carrie has been through so
much and has done so much.
I was really excited to get heron the podcast and you'll
listen as we go through this.
This isn't just about coaching.
It's not just about impactingothers around the world.
We talk.
the conversation goes a lot ofdifferent directions.
Stick with it.
It's really interesting, it'sreally cool, and I really
(01:49):
appreciate the honesty and justopenness that Carrie offered
through this conversation.
Now Carrie has had a flourishingbusiness career which has taken
her all around the world, youknow.
Unfortunately, tragedy struckand everything changed.
She lost her husband, ross, in2014 and just three years later,
she lost her son, cole, at age26, both to suicide.
(02:13):
After these devastating losses,she was faced with a choice to
find purpose through despair orthrow in the towel, and,
thankfully for all of us, shechose purpose.
While she has enjoyed herbusiness prior to losing Ross
and Cole, she knew that the nextchapter was calling her to rise
to a new level that would havean impact on more people on a
(02:35):
larger scale.
She wants to help those whofeel lost in this world without
a purpose, and Carrie helpspeople create a crystal clear
written vision for every area oftheir life, so they take action
every day toward living theirpurpose.
Carrie has found it's thepurpose that gives people hope.
Carrie is an author and aspeaker And when she's not
traveling, sharing herexperiences and wisdom, you can
(02:56):
find her hosting her own podcast, moving Through and Beyond, a
podcast dedicated to sharingstories of raw, honest hardships
in life and how you canovercome these obstacles to live
your best life.
Carrie, i want to thank you somuch for taking the time to be
on We All Have Something and foragreeing to share your story
with the listening audience.
I know in the interaction wecovered some of what you have
(03:19):
been through and everythingyou're doing now, but I'd love
to hear it from you.
Would you be so kind as toshare your story with us and the
lessons you have learned alongthe way?
Speaker 1 (03:27):
Yeah Well, thank you first of all for having me on,
Rick.
We've been looking forward tothis, So um, I'm glad that we're
finally making this happen.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
Me too, me too.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
Um, you know, I have to kind of go back many, many
years ago, to when I was about28 years old to kind of give you
the full circle.
Um, at that point this was thelate 80s My husband and I had
been out of college for a yearor two, both doing the nine to
five thing, because that's whatwe're taught to do, and my
husband was very successful withthat, and I did not do that
nine to five thing very well.
(03:56):
So I had a mentor come into mylife, tell me something I'd
never heard before, and what shetold me was I could create my
life to look like however Iwanted it to look.
I just need to get super clearon what that was.
And so I took a day off of workwith a legal pad of paper
because you know, this was the80s Uh, i sat down and wrote out
(04:17):
in great detail what I wantedmy life to look like, what kind
of uh mom I wanted to be when westarted having kids, the
relationship I wanted to havewith my husband.
And then I started noodling abunch of ideas around how I
could work from home once westarted having the kids, um, and
work around their schedule, hadthat kind of freedom Uh, makes,
make a great income and all thethings And so fast forward had
(04:38):
had.
My son was still working fulltime and I was pregnant with my
daughter when I got introducedto, um, the first company that I
went into, which is a companycalled Arbonne, which most
people are familiar with, andthat's what I did while I was
raising my kids.
And the one thing I had to doas a leader in that company is I
had to teach uh other people toget really, really clear on
their why, right out theirvision, really big Greg, because
(05:00):
I knew that if they didn't havethat as an anchor, all the
things we go through asentrepreneurs is hard and I knew
they were gonna quit if theydidn't have this really strong
vision.
Right.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
Right.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
So 10 years ago, when my kids were leaving the house
we were becoming empty nestersis when I created um.
My curriculum around it calledvision is victory, so I started
teaching the public how to gettheir someday plan out of their
head and onto paper.
Um, and that worked.
And so I started getting askedto coach people.
So I started bringing peopleinto coaching, and then I ended
(05:34):
up running four year longmastermind groups all at once.
For a while, uh started gettingasked to speak.
You know all the things.
That's where it's brought me totoday.
So unfortunately, though, in thepast almost nine years now, uh
lost my husband in 2014 tosuicide And then, three years
later, lost my 26 year old son,also to suicide.
(05:57):
Um, so at that point, mydaughter was just getting out of
college and she and I decidedto co-write a book together in
2019 called keep looking up, andso we started very publicly
sharing our story and startedspeaking together, and so now,
when I speak about vision andthe importance of having one,
and having it in writing, i'mreally, really focused now on
(06:19):
this being an anchor of hope forpeople.
I'm super focused on youngadults right now.
Like they've got their my, i,my, i.
They're on my radar big timeright now, um, because it's no
surprise what's happening intheir world.
Um, you know it's challengingenough.
When you and I came out ofschool and you know, in our 20s,
(06:40):
whatever it was tough, but nowit's just nuts, um.
So that's where I'm at rightnow, um, very, very passionate
about vision.
I just know there's a deeperpurpose behind it than teaching
people how to run a businesswith it.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Yeah, and I want to.
I want to, if you don't mind, iwant to go back and pick apart
your story to get a betterunderstanding.
I want to.
I want to be able to put somecontrast on everything you have
accomplished and survived andbeen through, because that's a
lot obviously.
I mean, i don't need to tellyou that and you know that and
you share that and you and yourdaughter share that with the
(07:13):
world.
And I want to step back firstto the building up and ramping
up of of the the why.
Yeah, creating your businesses,uh, becoming, uh, someone
people are going to say Hey, canyou, coach, can you come speak
That process for you?
was that part of your?
why, or was that more of anorganic growth thing?
Why, or was that more of anorganic growth that took on its
(07:37):
own?
Speaker 1 (07:38):
Being out speaking.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
Yeah, out speaking and coaching and all of that.
Obviously, you wanted to createand come from home, you wanted
to be a business leader.
You did that Right.
But then you mentioned it kindof grew into more Was that part
of your why?
or did that become uh, clearervision as to, oh yeah, i do want
to do that?
Speaker 1 (07:55):
as it progressed, You know what's so funny about that
question And I usually sharethis and I totally overlooked it
.
So when I sat down that day andwrote out in great detail what
I wanted my life to look likeAnd I started noodling ideas
about being an entrepreneur, ihad no idea what I wanted to do,
rick, but I had some ideas,right.
So I wrote that I might be amarketing consultant, because my
(08:16):
background at that point was inadvertising and marketing, so I
thought I'd just be aconsultant.
Um, i wrote that I wanted to beworking with a lot of female
leaders.
I wrote question marks around,maybe in a company that's in
skincare or health and wellness.
Now, this was way before I evenheard about our bond.
Right, just noodling ideas, butout of my head for the first
(08:37):
time ever.
Probably on the last line ofthat piece of paper, i wrote
that someday I wanted to be aspeaker and a trainer on vision
and goal setting.
So God planted the seed thatday, knowing that was what was
coming in my life.
Right, and so that was thevision.
I knew when I went into beingan entrepreneur that I wanted to
(08:58):
make money and make an impact,but I also knew that I wanted to
do it in a bigger way biggerstages, bigger platforms.
This was way before podcasting.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
Right.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
Now I've been on several.
And have grown, And have grownyeah, so yeah, it's always been
the bigger vision And, to behonest with you, i love speaking
, probably more than anythingelse I do.
I love it.
Just prop me up on a stage,give me a microphone and an
audience and I am super happythere.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
Did you know that when you sat down and wrote that
stuff down on that legal pad,or did you discover that along
the way?
Speaker 1 (09:34):
Not really To be honest with you.
No, not really.
I'd never really spoken infront of groups of people, and
that all started happening whenI started moving up the ranks of
Arbonne, Started running my ownmeetings and started doing
bigger presentations, and thenwe would do big trainings, and
so I just kind of gravitatedthere and I loved it.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
It's interesting to hear your story about the fact
that that was the last line ofwhat you wrote down.
I would assume you present thisto your guests as well, but
what I see there just again as acoach so who's pushing people
is complete, every detail.
when you're writing down yourwhy, when you're really trying
to journal out or empty out yourmind of what's truly there at
(10:18):
the core because sometimes youhave to work through all the
stuff you've heard other peoplesay about you or what you're
good at, versus then gettingdown to what's really in your
heart And it's so cool to hearthat the last line ends up being
the part that is what's mostfulfilling for you right now.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
And that's just like you said.
You and I, as coaches that isour job is to help people read
between the lines.
So, as really good coaches, ican hear I won't coach anybody
until they have taken a shot atwriting out their three year
vision for me, because I can'thelp them create a game plan
(10:57):
unless I know what the vision isof where they wanna go and what
they want their life to looklike.
And a lot of times when theywrite it out they get really
stuck, they get very emotionaland they think that the reasons
they're not going after theirdreams are XYZ right.
But I can kind of see betweenthat it's really more than that.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
Right.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
And kind of pull that out of them and help them deal
with those things.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
Yeah, and that's part of it.
Right Is that we can shine alight in the corner that they
don't wanna look in.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
Right in a very loving way.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
Well, of course, yes, in a very loving way.
But the reality is the answeris always, within the client,
correct, And we help them findit because sometimes, for
whatever reason, they want tooverlook it or not believe it or
have been told so many times intheir past it's not real or
true or anything like that.
Right, no, that's really cool.
That's really cool.
I appreciate that you know andyou recognize your growth and
(11:54):
your path to where you are todayin that.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
Of course, the other side of your story too, then, is
the tragedy that you have livedthrough twice, which is suicide
being a part of your family.
One thing that I have in everysingle episode note and in every
intro of this podcast is the988 number to reach out for
suicide prevention.
If you're feeling anything nearthat, you know, i know a fair
(12:21):
amount of people who've had itbe a part of their life one way
or another.
If you don't mind me asking foryou and your journey being a
surviving family member And Ithink this is an important story
to share, because I see yourpath.
I see I met you, obviously justa couple of years ago through
ULA Right, and to know what youhave been through, but seeing
(12:43):
where you are now and how muchyou work to empower others, i
just think it's important forpeople to see that Survivors,
surviving family members ofsuicide, i think it's really
important that they see yourpath as an opportunity, as
perhaps not necessarily ablueprint for them, because
everybody's different, but justto understand that you can go
(13:03):
through that and come out theother side with vision and with
direction.
Do you mind sharing a littlemore of that experience with my
audience?
as far as what you went throughwith your family.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
Oh well, you know it's number one and most people
will tell you, in our case wenever saw it coming.
So when the day my husbandpassed, you know it was just a
complete shock.
We knew he was strugglingspecifically with some
transitions that was going on inhis career And, you know, he
(13:39):
just had not been himself.
But I'd never in a millionyears thought that he would take
that step.
And so when all that happened,it became very surreal for a
long time.
It was in the midst of a timewhere my son had just graduated
from college, two months priorto my husband's death, and we
(13:59):
lived in Colorado.
My husband and I were fromColorado, we raised our kids
there.
My son had just gotten backfrom a five week graduation trip
that he had taken with hisbuddies and he had already
accepted a job to work forChannel 12 in Arizona.
So once we got through theMemorial and all the things and
(14:20):
got my daughter back to collegebecause she was starting her
junior year I got my son toArizona so that he could start
his job and I started livinghalf time in Arizona, half time
in Denver.
So the next two years was just ablur, because this is when my
year long masterminds that Itold you about that.
I was running four of them allat once.
It was during that time, wow,in the midst of all of that, my
(14:42):
business, my coaching business,took off.
So I ran with it And it was agodsend for me truly during that
time.
And then when my son died,another shock, just completely.
You know, my daughter and Ijust got through all that, got
(15:04):
through his Memorial And Iactually ended up kind of going.
I didn't totally disappear, butI kind of went underground for
about a year.
I was still.
I still finished out mycoaching commitments that I had
already Rick, because I had somepeople still in the year long
program that I need to finish up.
(15:24):
But I stopped getting myselfout there to bring in more
clients just so that I couldfigure out how I was going to
move through all that Started.
You know, my daughter wentthrough counseling.
I tried counseling for a while.
It did not, wasn't working forme, so I really went within.
I did a lot of quiet time right, and during that time what also
(15:49):
helped me is I had some people.
This might go in a totallydifferent direction here, but I
had some people show up in mylife just randomly, that are
what I call super high-intuitivepeople that could send me
messages from my angels, right,whatever you want to believe.
That really gave me a lot ofpeace.
So I made a lot on God, a loton my faith and a lot on just
(16:15):
knowing that they're reallystill here.
This mission I'm on right nowit's all fueled by them.
So there's so much.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
I want to ask you And I appreciate you, I appreciate
you opening up and sharingpeople coming to you with the
intuitive side of the story Andpeople coming to you with the
intuitive side of things and thespiritual side of it, because I
believe that's an importantcomponent that often we all shy
away from because we'reconcerned about what that might
look like for others, And I lovethat part of the human
(16:47):
experience.
I believe we're very muchspiritual beings having a human
experience And so when we talkabout this stuff, I invite it
and open it with all my heartAnd I want to get there.
I want to talk about that.
But let's step back just alittle bit.
You had mentioned when yourhusband passed, you were so just
(17:07):
in everything your coachingbusiness took up.
all that Was that yourself-care was to dive into your
work, or was there other aspectsin working through the process
of having just lost your husband?
And I ask more for otherlisteners out there that may be
going through something similaror have experienced something
similar, as far as everyone hastheir own process, Everyone has
their own thing that works forthem.
(17:27):
But I'm just curious was thattherapeutic for you there to
have that work to focus on?
or was there something else youwere working on too, with that
work, keeping you focused butthen other parts to help you
heal?
Speaker 1 (17:39):
You know, a lot of people begged me to slow down.
A couple people said to meplease don't make any major
decisions for at least the firstyear, which is a piece of
advice I think a lot of peoplegive, and for some people I
think that's really true Inhindsight now.
Well, you can't go back, right,you can't change Right?
Speaker 2 (18:03):
of course No, but you can learn.
But you can learn You can.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
I wouldn't change anything that I did, let's put
it this way.
But I did make some majorchanges in my life in that first
year.
Okay, i moved to Arizona.
I bought a house there becauseI loved Arizona, sold my house
in Colorado one year after myhusband passed and bought a
(18:27):
condo and a high-rise therebecause I thought at that point
the kids and I were still goingto want to go back to Denver for
periods of time, and later soldthat condo because, after my
son passed, my daughter and Iwere like we're not going back.
So it was just, i think, whatit was for me.
(18:48):
I was having so much fun doingit, rick, that it was my piece
in the storm.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
Mm-hmm, makes sense Yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:58):
I was meeting a lot of really fun people.
I was involved in a hugenetworking group that I had
created in Denver with threeother very good friends of mine.
We were traveling together andthat was fun.
I leaned on them heavily duringthat time.
So yeah, it just.
I'm not giving anybody adviceon how to handle what they need
to do.
I did what felt right for me atthe time, absolutely yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
And that's what I want to hear really, because
recognizing that everyone hastheir own path, but sometimes,
when we hear someone else'sstory, we can reflect on how it
might be appropriate orrelatable to us and our needs.
So that's what I'm asking.
Yeah, not asking for advice,asking for just the story.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
So the book that my daughter and I wrote is called
Keep Looking Up, And in it wetell our story, but we share 11
chapters of things that welearned that helped us get
through the process.
And we wrote that because wehad so many people and still do
come to us saying that they werestruggling through something
(19:59):
not necessarily a loss likewe've been through, but
something and wondered whathelped us Mostly.
We had a lot of people come tous saying, hey, I've got
somebody right now that is goingthrough something really
challenging and I don't know howto help them.
And so we wrote 11 chapters onall the things that we learned
in the journey that helped us,in hopes that it would be a tool
(20:19):
for people to be able to usefor themselves and for their
friends.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
Yeah, it makes sense, makes, sense.
Speaker 1 (20:25):
Yeah, And one of the things we wrote was it's so
interesting.
so many people, you know, whenyou go through loss, they want
to know how to help you.
They want to help so badly.
And a lot of times, when peopledo want to help somebody, what
they'll do is they'll helpsomebody in the way that they
would want to be helped, notnecessarily how that person
(20:45):
wants to be helped.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
Yeah, yeah, well, that makes, yeah, makes sense.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
So you know, normal thing when you lose a family
member is people want to bringyou food, lots and lots of food,
and from the get-go I toldeverybody please do not bring me
food, please do not bring mefood, please do not bring me
food.
Because what ends up happeningis you end up getting all this
food that you end up eithertossing or you've got to give
(21:11):
back, or you know it's just.
It becomes a thing.
Speaker 2 (21:14):
It becomes a chore to deal with.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
Yeah, so when my son passed, when he worked for
Channel 12, he got really closeto all the anchors on the news
station and everybody there.
He was like a light in thatbuilding.
They brought us $500 worth offood gift cards for restaurants
in Arizona And I had a housefull of people during that time.
(21:37):
A lot of colds.
Friends came and stayed And soit was great because every night
they could just take a giftcard, order the food it'd be
delivered.
We'd be done with it, you knowit's just about that.
Yeah, it makes sense We also didnot want a lot of people
sitting around with us, huggingus and crying and you know, just
not our way, but a lot ofpeople, that's what they want.
(21:57):
We just needed space.
So, yeah, we just we learned alot and still do, we're still
learning.
Speaker 2 (22:04):
Of course, of course, yeah, so you've go through both
of those experiences.
Obviously, just going throughone could be enough to throw
someone completely back on theirheels, and you mentioned then,
when you were sharing the storyearlier, that there were
intuitive folks coming into yourlife more on the spiritual side
of things.
Did you seek that out, or wasit more just a coincidence of
(22:26):
the higher power making ithappen?
Speaker 1 (22:28):
It was not.
I did not seek it out, It wasall God and them Can you share a
little bit more.
Yeah.
So I think the first time wasabout six months after my son
passed.
I have a friend in Arizona whois very, very spiritually
connected.
She does soul charts for people, if you know what those are,
(22:49):
and she came to me and said Hey,i have this friend who is a
medium, highly intelligent womanAnd she's wanting to do like a
workshop on the predictions shehas for the next seven years.
And I'm like I don't carewhatever.
And I said Well, i have areally nice club house in my
apartment building.
If you want to go, look at that, it might be a really great
(23:10):
place.
So we went and looked at it.
She said, yeah, this is great.
She said, well, set it up for aSunday afternoon.
I don't know if anybody's goingto come, but we'll just do it.
And I said, okay, great, well,because this woman is so
connected in Arizona.
There was like 50 people whoshowed up that afternoon.
Wow, and the woman who wasconducting this thing was giving
(23:30):
her.
She used to like do consultingfor, like army, you know, major
people like in the governmentand in a military, because she's
that intuitive about what'scoming.
She was giving a lot ofpredictions And I was just kind
of sitting in the back of theroom going, okay, you know, this
is great.
And after the room had allcleared out, she came up to me
and said How are you stillstanding?
Speaker 2 (23:55):
Take the time you need.
Sorry, don't be sorry.
It's part of the humanexperience.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
Yeah, she said.
I looked at my friend who hadbrought this woman.
I said What?
what have you told her?
She said I haven't told hermuch at all.
But this woman apparently juststarted telling me all these
things about my son that nobodycould have known And my husband,
(24:34):
but a lot of.
my son.
my son, i believe, has had thegift of being super connected to
the other side.
He used to tell me all the timethat he could feel his dad.
So anyway, that was the firsttime where she just said you
know all these things aboutwhere he was and what he wanted
(24:58):
me to know and what reallyhappened.
And then it was just so.
it was just stuff like that.
I started really seeking herout And then I started learning
more about it.
Really good book that I readabout six months ago called
Signs by another very, very wellknown medium Her name is Laurel
(25:18):
and Jackson.
I'm talking a lot about how wecan connect to them on the other
side and ask for signs.
So I've just been a random likenetworking events where
somebody will come up to me andsay, hey, just want you to know
your son's here, like yes, iknow.
Speaker 2 (25:38):
I was about to ask you what's that feel like.
Like you know, is it like apunch to the gut to have that
come up in the middle ofsomething like that, or is it
more like?
no, i know he's here.
Speaker 1 (25:45):
Yeah, in the beginning I think it really
shocked me, but the more that itkept happening, it just I know
he's here, Like I said, he'sfueling this, this mission.
I'm on now for young adults,right, but you know, for them to
just describe him, and, oh mygosh, i was on a radio show one
(26:06):
day.
I can't even tell this storySucker punched me The middle of
a live radio broadcast, thewoman producing the show I was
being interviewed by a motherand a daughter who the mother
had lost her son to suicide many, many years ago.
We weren't talking about that.
We were talking about vision,work and purpose and what I do.
(26:28):
And the producer behind thescenes just all of a sudden
stops the radio broadcast andgoes Okay, who here is sissy And
the mother, daughter like eachother.
No, we've never used that.
I said we call my daughtersissy And she said there is a
young man in my head that willnot let me stop saying please
(26:52):
tell sissy, i'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (26:54):
Oh yeah, oh goodness, wow, yeah.
And how in the world did yourecover from that moment?
Because, like right now, i'mfeeling it too Yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:12):
I think I don't know that I cried.
I think I just froze because Ididn't know what to do next.
Speaker 2 (27:18):
Right.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
And so it was just a surreal moment.
And so, when I left there thenext day, the daughter of this
mother daughter team, who's afriend of mine, called me, and
she said so.
My producer wanted me to reachout to you to say that she
thinks it had to do somethingwith your daughter's wedding.
And I said, yeah, he wassupposed to walk her down the
aisle.
Oh man, i'm a mess.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
I appreciate you sharing, though I really do.
I appreciate you so muchbecause this is powerful, you
know, obviously for you, but Ithink these are stories that are
important to share And, like Isaid before when you first
brought up the spiritual side ofit, i think a lot of us in our
culture right now need more ofthis connection and this
(28:14):
understanding, and I thinkthere's a certain part of our
culture that is very, i don'tknow, shy of it or concerned of
its power, or I don't want toadmit it, but the more people
you talk to, everyone has it.
There's that connection andthese moments happen.
It's very much a part of ourlives.
(28:37):
So I appreciate you sharingthat.
I know that wasn't easy andprobably not where you thought
this was going to go today.
Not at all Not at all, but.
I really appreciate it because Ithink it's an important element
also to bring it back into whatyou and I find as our calling,
which is that making adifference in the world, that
(28:57):
supporting other people, thatbringing our experiences and
living through our experiencesallows us to show up and do what
we do.
And I love the fact that youacknowledge that what you're
doing now, your work with youngadults, is fueled by the
spiritual impact.
You know that your husband andyour son have with them on the
(29:20):
other side and you hear in thephysical plane doing what you're
doing, and your daughter aswell.
If you don't mind me asking,what was the process in which
you can start acknowledging thatHere you are now, doing it and
you can say this I definitelyfeel it.
But what was the process thatbrought you to where you are now
with the coaching and the workyou're doing with young adults,
(29:41):
knowing that it was fueled inpart by your husband and your
son?
Speaker 1 (29:47):
You know, it's been almost well, almost six years
now since my son passed, andI've been saying this for
probably five years and it'sjust now where I'm stepping all
into it, And I think it's acombination of reasons.
One the reason I think it tookme so long was I still had a lot
of attachment to coaching, andit took me a long time to let
(30:11):
that go, rick, for a lot ofreasons.
It's what I know to do, it'swhat I knew to monetize.
There was a lot of piece bypiece.
I had to let go of a lot ofstuff before I could really just
now say, okay, i'm all in onthis.
The other piece of this is Oula, because now what I want to do
(30:34):
is bring people, young adults,into communities, and I'm going
to power that with Oula as thefoundation.
So Dr Dave and I, theco-founder of Oula, have been
talking about what that wouldlook like.
So now I have where I'm notdoing it alone and I have places
(30:55):
to send them, to give themtools to use.
Speaker 2 (30:58):
Well, yeah, the community that Oula offers is so
powerful.
Yeah, so it makes completesense.
Speaker 1 (31:03):
Yeah, And this is their heart too young adults and
kids.
They just have not been able tofocus on that because of
everything else they've beenputting into place the past few
years.
Speaker 2 (31:13):
Right, a lot of building lately.
Speaker 1 (31:15):
So I'm kind of leading that community, so I'm
excited about it and we're justgoing to see how it unfolds.
Speaker 2 (31:22):
Right, right, i want to go back real quick through
the process now of what you'reletting go of, what you're
restructuring for yourself inthe direction you're going and
acknowledging that you feelsomewhat guided.
What was that process for youto acknowledge that guidance?
And the reason I ask is I thinka lot of times we get
(31:45):
inclinations or feelings oncertain things or we feel that
tingle or that warmth, but thenwe're like, oh, it was just a
coincidence, or oh, what's infront of us?
or ego, if you will.
Speaker 1 (31:56):
Right.
Speaker 2 (31:57):
Speaks up louder.
It's no, no, no, to ignore that.
That's not the right thing todo.
It sounds like to me like youare really following the
intuition and the connectionsthat you feel.
Can you explain that, what thatprocess has been like for you?
Speaker 1 (32:10):
Yeah, i'm going to mention another woman that came
into my life that I want torefer people to.
Her name is Sue Frederick.
She's written many, many books.
One of my favorites is calledBridges to Heaven And she is
somebody who does numerology andalso can connect to the other
side.
(32:30):
Rand thing sitting in anetworking group, she's the
speaker that day and she'stalking about numerology and how
she does your birth numbers andcan define to you what your
mission is, why you're here, theconnection to the other people
that were in your life, like myson coming through me as his mom
, right.
And it wasn't too long after myson had passed that she came
(32:53):
and did this thing And again allthe rooms cleared out and I'm
the last one there and she sitsme down and says I want to do
your numbers and did my birthdayand then also did my sons and
it was just hair raising And itwas just stuff.
You know when people saysomething to you and you can
feel it so deep in your soulthat you just knew it and knew
(33:15):
it and knew it.
Speaker 2 (33:16):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (33:16):
Right Everything she said to me and about my son, I
knew I just had to take it fromhere and let it get here.
Speaker 2 (33:24):
Right.
Speaker 1 (33:25):
And so she's the first person after this random
woman that did that workshop.
I told you about that.
I actually paid her for an hourof her time to connect to my
son and my husband on the otherside and bring messages to me
about what my path is now.
And this was three years ago,the first reading she did for me
.
So I started really opening upto that and started seeking her
(33:47):
out and started the second thing, the second resource I want to
tell people about, is twosummers ago.
Sue introduces me to this woman, elizabeth, and Elizabeth has
created an organization.
She's also in Arizona, but it'stens of thousands of members
around the world called HelpingParents Heal, and it's all
parents who have lost childrenfor multiple reasons and
(34:10):
multiple ages and all the things.
And I connected with this womanthree weeks before their big
conference.
they do every other year inArizona And I said I really want
to be at your conference.
She said we would love to haveyou but we'd have no room.
It's totally sold out.
the hotel is sold out, no roomfor speakers, whatever.
I said, all right, well, i'llhave to wait for the next one
(34:30):
And they only do it every twoyears.
She called me back the next dayand she said we have a ticket
for you.
I was like, okay, but we don'thave a room in the hotel.
I said, no problem, i'll findsome place to stay.
She calls me the next day.
We have a room for you.
Speaker 2 (34:45):
Of course.
Speaker 1 (34:47):
And it was just.
There was 900 people at thisthing, rick, and it was all
parents who have lost their kidsthat, like me, are learning how
to connect to them, and therewere.
Most of the speakers werehighly intuitive, some
science-based, talking about thescience and the spiritual, how
(35:08):
they're bringing it together,which is very exciting, and
mediums bringing messages andletting us know our kids were
all there, all together.
They were thrilled that we weretogether, wanting to connect to
them.
Yeah, it was just so peacefulwhen you're in a room like that.
Speaker 2 (35:28):
I can imagine.
Yeah, yeah.
I don't know if I answered yourquestion, but The original
question was asking for yourprocess to acknowledge the
spiritual connections that werecreated that now bring you to
where you are working for youngadults going.
I know there is.
It's not just my own passion,it's my purpose, but there's
(35:48):
also a deeper connection on thespiritual side that is
acknowledging this or is saying,yes, green light go, yes.
So yeah, the question was kindof how is the process of getting
there?
Because so often I think peopleget intuition speaking to them
but their ego prevents them fromfollowing through or talks them
out of listening to it.
For some, reason, so I was justcurious as to how you bridged
(36:09):
that, because I think for a lotof people they may have that
instinct but then they losesight of it because, like, oh,
no, no, no, just backgroundnoise.
Speaker 1 (36:17):
Well, i was the queen of that land, i was the you
know I would have been.
You know, before all thishappened, i would have been the
person going pfft, whatever,that's not real stuff.
My husband would have thought Iwas absolutely crazy, but I do
believe in hindsight, now thatI've tapped into this, that I
(36:37):
think my son was also veryintuitive and just didn't want
to let us in on that because offear of what he thought we would
think.
Speaker 2 (36:49):
Well, of course, yeah , right, yeah especially if your
instincts were telling you thatyour husband would have thought
you're crazy.
That I'm sure he would have.
He had those ideas that perhapsyou know.
The adults of my life wouldthink poorly of me if I spoke to
them about what I wasexperiencing.
Speaker 1 (37:03):
Well, and that's not what we're taught in this
culture either.
Rick, we're taught, you know,okay, that's fine for everybody
else, whatever, let them go overhere and do the Rulu stuff, but
we do the nine to five gig, youknow get the job, have the
income, the title, all thethings, and we kind of squelch
any thought around.
(37:23):
yeah, i really also know that Ithink both my husband and my
son, if given differentmessaging, would have gone
different paths with theircareers.
Speaker 2 (37:36):
Interesting, interesting.
Speaker 1 (37:37):
And I think that's very common, especially for men
in our world.
Speaker 2 (37:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (37:42):
Right, the cute idea that you want to think about
that, but here's what you'regoing to do.
Speaker 2 (37:50):
Right.
Speaker 1 (37:52):
You're going to get the job, get the career, get the
family, take care of them andto get that kind of thing.
And I think that's why so manyof us don't listen to what's
really our intuition, our gut,what our gut is telling us.
And it's taken me, like I said,five years of really nine years
, but most specifically the pastfive, where I've really just
(38:13):
had to surrender a little bit ata time, and it's a challenge
because I'm still an A-type doer.
Speaker 2 (38:19):
Right.
Speaker 1 (38:20):
Yeah, it's hard for me to take a day and just go.
you know I'm just going to sitin this for today and see what
God does with it Reallychallenge.
Speaker 2 (38:30):
Well, it's a process, it's a learning.
I think you know as a coachit's easy to look at a client
and go yeah, sometimes you needa day to just sit in it, right,
but for yourself it's kind ofhard to go.
Oh, i put the things I got todo.
Speaker 1 (38:41):
Right, right.
You know, especially withsocial media now, you know it's
so, so much pressure on beingplugged in and you know having a
following and you know it'sjust.
I find myself on it way toomuch as a speaker and a coach
And I really have to back awayfrom it because it's just, it
(39:04):
puts a lot of pressure,especially when you see speakers
in our world.
They make it look like they'relike crushing it, right.
Speaker 2 (39:11):
Right.
Speaker 1 (39:12):
And if you're not, there can be some serious
comparison going on.
But I've also learned that mostof them are not crushing it
Right, It's a front to good act,yeah.
Speaker 2 (39:25):
Marketing, yes, yeah.
Speaker 1 (39:28):
So it's a balance, rick.
I balanced the doing with thewaiting, the doing, and then,
you know, I put out what I'masking for, and then I've
learned to just kind of wait,because God always does it way
better than I would have done it.
Speaker 2 (39:42):
Of course, of course, yeah, so with your story now
and we've shared this with theaudience what you've been
through, your experiences andwhere you are now with really
focused on the young adult sideof things you still do speaking
and key network and coaching.
No, is that correct?
Speaker 1 (39:58):
Yes, I don't market the coaching as much as I used
to, but if I have somebody cometo me and say I need you because
of your experiences your lifeexperiences, your business
experience, whatever right Iwill take on a client if I feel
like it's absolutely a godsendand it's the right fit, right.
(40:20):
Speaking I want to do way moreof it.
Like I said, it's my favoritething to do And I'm going to
shift into really reaching outinto where young adults are,
colleges and go in thatdirection, not solely, but I
really want to focus on that andthen continue to build that
community, like I said, withbringing them into.
(40:41):
We don't know the completestructure of it yet, Rick, We're
working on that part of it.
We're working on that part.
But maybe giving them twomonthly calls where we talk on a
subject, Maybe around the F'sand OOLA right, Something on
finance, on family, I'm going tobe figuring out with them what
they want and how they want it.
Speaker 2 (41:01):
Yeah, that'll.
You got to listen to the client, right.
Speaker 1 (41:03):
Right, exactly.
Speaker 2 (41:05):
So, as you're growing this, if somebody who's
listening now either has a youngadult in their life that, like
you know, i think this would begood for them, or they are
themselves a young adultthinking, oh, this sounds like
something I need to be a part of.
Where can they find you?
Where can people go to find outmore information on this and
connect with you?
Speaker 1 (41:23):
Yeah, so my website is just my name, carrieconleycom
.
There's information on thereabout my podcast and how to
reach out to me, how to get onmy weekly newsletter, my email
that goes out and my email isjust Carrie at CarrieConleycom.
Speaker 2 (41:38):
Excellent, excellent.
Well, we will make sure thatall of that connective
information how to get a hold ofyou is in the episode notes, of
course.
One thing that I like to alwaysask my guests is we're starting
to wrap up.
If there was a quote or a memeor like a definitely just that
nugget of information you wouldlove to drop for everybody, what
(42:01):
would that be for you?
What would you offer up?
Speaker 1 (42:05):
There's a quote that I love, and I never get this
completely right, but you'll getthe gist of it.
It's by Andy Stanley And it iswrite your vision in pen, but
your path in pencil.
And what he means by that isthat I am very clear that my
vision is my God given purpose.
So that has not changed.
even with all the things in mylife changing in a direction
(42:27):
that I never saw coming.
my vision has just been inkedin even harder, if that makes
sense.
Speaker 2 (42:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (42:36):
But the path it's a pencil.
So I just want to encouragepeople because a lot of times
when I ask them to write avision for me and I ask them to
think three years out so thatwe've got a timeline, a lot of
people have never done that andthey're afraid to do that
because you know what ifsomething happens like it
happened to me And I just wantto encourage people to not be
(42:57):
afraid of it You've got to writeyour vision out on paper
because if not, you're just kindof living the someday mentality
and a lot of people die withregret that way.
Speaker 2 (43:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (43:06):
So love that quote.
Speaker 2 (43:07):
That's a great one, and I love how that also falls
into.
I mean, i don't know, did youfind that quote before you wrote
down your stuff on that legalpad, or is that after, because
it fits so perfectly with yourstory?
Speaker 1 (43:22):
I know, you know, I didn't even hear that quote
until maybe two years ago.
Speaker 2 (43:26):
Oh, I love it.
Speaker 1 (43:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (43:29):
Talk about being affirmed in the way you have
lived your life, where thatquote just like locks it in for
you.
Speaker 1 (43:33):
Yes, Confirmations, I get them all the time because I
ask am I on the right path?
Am I doing the right thing?
If I'm not, take me off, giveme a sign.
But I usually get confirmations.
Keep going.
Speaker 2 (43:47):
That's awesome.
Yeah, that's awesome.
And the beauty of that quotetoo, i think, points out what a
lot of people, what might be inthe fear of a lot of people when
you ask them to write out thatthree-year vision, is it?
well, if I write it out, then Ihave to do it exactly like this
The reality is that the path isgoing to zigzag all over the
place, but as long as you arelocked in on what the true
(44:08):
vision of your core is, that youcan let that path zigzag all
over, as long as you stayfocused on that big value and
that big vision.
Speaker 1 (44:18):
And to give it time.
You know when I wrote thatvision, when I was 28, i was
married, but we had not starteda family yet, and so when I
wrote that, we didn't even starthaving kids, i think until the
next year, and then we had ourson And I was still working full
time, and then I got pregnantwith my daughter a year and a
half later, and it wasn't untilthen that the thing I'd been
(44:43):
asking for which was my pathusing the R bond to be able to
stay home with my kids showed up.
So people need to know that thevision is there.
You just have to wait for it toshow up.
But the minute it did, it waslike bam.
I knew it Because it checkedall the boxes right.
Speaker 2 (44:58):
Right.
That's part of the need, forthat is that you can reflect
back.
Is this, it Right?
And the answer is if the boxesare checked, then move forward.
Move now.
Speaker 1 (45:08):
Right.
Speaker 2 (45:09):
Right, still do it.
I love it, i love it, i love it, i love it.
Carrie, is there anything elseyou would like to share with the
audience that we didn't touchon today?
Speaker 1 (45:16):
I told you I was going to share a gift with your
audience, and that is the firstbook that I wrote as a workbook.
It's called Vision is Victory,and it walks people through how
to get their vision and writing,and so you can buy it on Amazon
, but I want to give you a linkthat I know you'll share in the
notes that they can download theebook version for free.
Speaker 2 (45:35):
Perfect, wow, thank you.
You're welcome.
That's wonderful, thank you,thank you, and for everyone
listening head down into thenotes of the episode, we'll have
that link along with How to Geta Hold of Carrie, and I'll also
link to the books you mentionedfrom the other authors as well
that seem to be so powerful foryou.
I appreciate you sharing all ofthat.
Again, carrie, thank you somuch.
I know we kind of went all overwith this interview, but I
(45:57):
think your story is so importantto be shared And what you offer
as a coach, the directionyou're going, it's just so
wonderful And honestly, i thinkwe might even end up doing a
follow-up interview with you,just because there's so much
more to unpack.
I think I would love to talkmore in depth about some of this
stuff.
Well, i just enjoy havingconversations with you, so Yeah,
(46:18):
well, we'll see what we can dobefore the season ends.
Maybe get you on one more time.
Speaker 1 (46:22):
We'd love it and we'd love to reciprocate.
Speaker 2 (46:24):
Of course, of course, yes, yeah.
and, by the way, your podcastname again is Moving Through and
Beyond.
And we'll link that down belowas well.
All right, well, Carrie, thankyou so much for being here.
I really do appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (46:36):
No, I appreciate you, Rick.
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (46:38):
And thank you, my dear listeners, for being here.
I appreciate you tremendously.
This podcast has the impact andreach it has because of you,
because you keep tuning in,you've subscribed, you're
sharing, and I can't thank youenough.
This podcast continues to growbecause of you.
If you haven't subscribed yet,be sure to do so.
More great guests are coming up, like Carrie and many others.
And, of course, if you want toreach out to me, you can find
(46:59):
more information about me or mycoaching at coachrickschwardscom
.
There you'll also find links tomy social media or on just
about any social media platform.
You can search Coach RickSchwartz and I'll pop up.
You'll probably find me there.
If you are interested to learnmore about coaching, you can
sign up for a free discovery.
call on my website 30-minuteconversation between you and I.
We do a little Zoom.
We talk about what's going onin your life.
We talk about my coachingstyles.
(47:20):
If we both agree, it's a fit.
well then, hey, we move forwardfrom there.
If not, no big deal.
Either way, it's a goodconversation.
That's going to wrap it up forthis episode.
Thanks again for listening.
I really do appreciate it.
Have a good one, everybody.
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