October 11, 2023 • 60 mins
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Who says you can't wear many hats and excel in all of them? Just ask Scott Posner, a financial advisor, regional leader, licensed Marine captain, private pilot, scuba diver, expert skier, marathon runner, long distance cyclist, self proclaimed volunteer addict, and a dedicated husband and father. Discover his inspirational journey, driven by passion, stepping out of his comfort zone, and creating a legacy. From an enriching conversation about his incredible mother, to how he ventured into the financial advising business, you're in for an incredible ride of motivation and life lessons.
As host, Meghan also weighs in on Scott's role as a financial advisor and his dedication to creating positive impacts in people's lives. But it's not all figures and financial markets. We discuss the importance of volunteering as well. Hear about Scott's dedication to the Deepwells Farm Historical Society and Edward Jones Investments' fight against Alzheimer's disease. And if you're a fan of adventure and supernatural experiences, you'll want to hear about his experiences in the legitimately haunted Deepwells Farmhouse!
As we wind down, we reflect on Scott's family life and the value of travel and adventure. We navigate through the challenging times and how they've found strength in humor, positivity, and each other. Additionally, we underline the transformative power of volunteering and how it can lead to personal growth and community development. As the holiday season approaches, join us as we explore the joy of giving back to our communities and the promises we make to ourselves.
Thank you for tuning in to Meghan's podcast!
Remember, we are all made for more!
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Intro voiceovers by her family: son, Billy Alexander; daughter, Mackenzie Alexander; and husband, Bill Alexander.
Music by Bill Alexander
Produced by Bill Alexander
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Hello and welcome to.
We Are Made For More.
I'm your host, megan Alexander,and this is my podcast, and
tonight I have a new guest withme and it is Scott Posner, a
dear friend from St James, newYork, and we're going to get
right into it, hi, scotty.
Hello.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Megan.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Am I allowed to call you Scotty?
Speaker 2 (00:24):
You can call me whatever you want.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Just don't call you late for dinner.
I hate that joke.
I don't know where that camefrom.
These are just like the lifethings that happen when you're
recording and you don't knowwhat's going to come out.
But thanks so much for joiningme.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
On what we'll call the Jump the Shark episode.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Jump the Shark?
I don't think so.
I don't think so.
It's funny.
My kids have told me that, asI've started these podcasts,
that I'm too serious.
As I get started and I'm doingit again now they're like Mom,
you got to loosen up, just havea good time.
Just, you know, get it going.
But this is what it is.
We're going to have some fun,you ready?
Speaker 2 (00:54):
I'm ready.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
Okay, so for our listeners out there, I'm going
to tell them a little bit aboutyou, scott, and we've known each
other for 20 years, but noteverybody else here knows who
you are, so let me share alittle bit about Scott Posner.
So Scott is married let's startwith that fun fact.
Actually, debbie is here in therecording studio with us, so
(01:15):
welcome Debbie as well.
And he's a father to twoamazing young ladies, rebecca
and Juliana.
And let's see, he's got aplethora of facts.
We're going to touch on thesethroughout the night, but some
of the things I want to share,to highlight to get us going, is
he's an Edward Jones financialadvisor.
(01:37):
That's the right word.
We'll talk a little bit moreabout each of these things, but
he's got a lot of really coolthings about himself, like he's
scuba certified, he's a privatepilot, he has a motorcycle
license, he's licensed Marinecaptain.
And listen, I'm not going to gothrough all of the facts right
now because I think that'swhat's going to unfold as we
talk tonight, but the amount ofvolunteer activities that Scott
(02:01):
does is quite remarkable andit's really amazing All of the
different hats that he wears inlife.
And, like I said, I've knownyou 20 years, but, as I think
about the people that I want tobring on and talk to, it's
people that have inspired me andcertainly have inspired a ton
of other people, and youcertainly came to mind right
away, so that's why you're heretonight.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
Why?
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
But why do you think this is a jump the shark episode
?
Speaker 2 (02:26):
Well, I saw your other three guests and they were
phenomenally interesting.
And now there's me, and youknow, let's face it, out of
everyone in my life, I'm theleast interesting.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
Yeah, I don't, I don't, I don't agree with that.
You know my sisters, I do.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
One of them started an incredibly successful
preschool in Brooklyn on her ownthat's been up and running for
10 years.
The other one started a company, brooklyn Piggies, that made it
on Oprah's best gift ideaswithin two years.
The other one is a singertraveling all over Europe made
the blues hall of fameimmediately.
(03:01):
And then there's me.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
Yeah, wow, that's it.
It is amazing as you talk likethat, because you have a family
of incredible superstars andmaybe some of them will be
guests on the show.
We'll have to see how thisplays out as we go, but you're
right, you've got a reallytalented family, and that's
something that's always inspiredme is I'm like who is this pose
in her family?
They all just they're notafraid to just jump in and try
(03:26):
new things in life.
All of you guys, I mean listento the things that you just said
.
I mean, missy is one of themthat owns Brooklyn Piggies, and
every time I've talked to hershe's creating something new,
whether she's designing handbagsor serial entrepreneur, to say
the least serial entrepreneur,to say the least.
So anyway, scott, we'd love totalk a little bit about.
(03:48):
Let's even start there.
What do you think it is aboutyour family that makes everyone
so like I guess, eager or to getout there in life and explore
and do it all?
Speaker 2 (03:59):
It starts with our mom.
So my mom friend, who's her ownforce of nature and the most
incredibly kind, sweet, generousperson, and wherever you go I
mean anywhere you're going tofind someone whose life she
impacted.
We were sitting in a restaurantin Venice, Italy, and from
across the room we hear someonescream is that Fran Posner?
(04:21):
Oh, my gosh.
She's been a wait watcher likesure for over 40 years, until
she retired recently, and talkabout making a positive,
impactful difference.
And then our father was.
I think the best way todescribe me is Captain Kirk.
Without the ship, he was hisown incredible force of nature.
They taught us very differentthings in very different ways
and I think that's led to eachof my sisters being pretty
(04:44):
amazing.
Right Me just trying to keep up.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
You're so funny, you're so humble.
It's definitely a quality aboutyou that's evident.
It always has been.
I mean, I'm going to just telleverybody out there Scott's the
kind of person that will ride a50 mile bike ride and he'll do
circles around everybody.
He'll be able to go up ahead,come back, make sure everybody's
doing well and then makeeveryone else feel like a
(05:08):
superstar.
Do you know that that's aquality about yourself?
Speaker 2 (05:11):
No, but I do know that I have an assignment on the
rides.
If you remember, I was whatthey would call the bone,
because there was a certainrider that had too much energy
and my job was to sprint outahead and make this certain
rider chase us, because it waslike a dog chasing a bone to
expend their energy because theyhad so much.
(05:32):
And and Megan, you were thatdog that we were trying to tire
out because yet talk aboutsomeone being special we had
these amazing group rides and wehad so much fun and it just
besides the exercise, more thananything it was the social
aspect.
And, boy, you don't giveyourself enough credit because
we were all suffering just totire you out.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
Right, that's yeah gosh.
Just so funny as you're sittingthere I'm like you're talking
about me back in the day I'llshare with everybody that we
used to be.
But guess, we formed our ownbike club, our own Peloton, if
you will, because my husband andyour wife and we had, um, I
guess, four at least four otherpeople are like eight of us that
would do it at times, but westarted by all getting a road
(06:15):
bike because you encouraged usto do it.
I remember being afraid to ridewith the clips oh, they don't
not call clips clipless pedals.
Okay, okay.
I don't know why it's clipless,because you clip in, but clip
in, but um, you encouraged me toget my first road bike and then
that led to be getting myhusband a road bike Next thing.
You know we're biking on everySunday.
(06:36):
Do you remember that?
Speaker 2 (06:38):
I was.
I remember those days so fineyeah.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
It has been a while.
It's probably been 10 yearsalready.
I want to say if you.
Speaker 2 (06:43):
well, it's like riding a bike, it's like riding
a bike.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
But I remember we started out with maybe 10 mile
rides and then you're like, oh,let's, let's do 20.
We could do 20 miles and I'mlike 20 miles.
I mean, back then it was, itwas new for me, so we did 25.
Next thing, you know, scott, isum getting us to ride 50 mile
bike rides, and that was new forus.
But you just have a way of, uh,encouraging everybody.
(07:08):
I don't know if you know you dothat.
Oh, thanks, I was just havingfun, You're just having fun.
But let's, let's extend that alittle bit.
Let's talk, since we're incycling, let's talk about
something.
Scott, my biggest ride was 60miles.
I know that yours issignificantly more than that.
Share with everybody.
What's your your longest ride?
Speaker 2 (07:28):
So my longest ride is 565 miles.
It was supposed to be 545 milesover seven days, but it was an
extra 20 miles cause we'retaking detours to get ice cream.
And for anyone that has anyinterest in bicycling and making
a difference at the same time,I would highly recommend um
(07:50):
looking into many differentrides, but one that that I did
was Empire State Ride and it'sempire state ridecom.
It's a.
It's a seven day ride fromStaten Island to Niagara Falls
to raise money for cancerresearch for the Roswell
Institute, and each dollar weraised is exponentially matched
by grant work.
And what's incredible is seeingthe difference you're making
(08:11):
along the route.
Each night we have differentguests come speaking with us,
but can I tell you my mostinspirational?
Speaker 1 (08:18):
story.
Yeah, I'd love to hear it.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
So the first year I decided to do it, my family was
incredibly supportive butthought I was out of my mind for
doing it.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
Absolutely.
It does sound crazy.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
And we did the ride and I did it with my, my
brother-in-law Key, and mycousin David, who had introduced
us to the ride, and we did it.
My family met us along the way.
It was incredibly exciting andthey got to see the dinners and
and we go up to Niagara Fallsand I we're standing by the
falls the next morning and mywife's with me, and she said you
(08:49):
know, I think I want to do thisnext year.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
Wow yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
And she rode with us a little bit.
So, sure enough, the very nextyear Debbie did the ride, did
the entire ride.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
All 545 miles.
Yes, and I mean not only didthe ride but did it rather well,
raising over $10,000 herself inthat one year.
Our team, which is toward a Tedand named after our company's
founder, who passed from cancer,wow, and it's a privilege to
race close to $100,000 in thefive years we've been doing it.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
That's remarkable.
It really is something to beproud of.
So Debbie is in the room withus and I wish I could interview
her.
I don't have a mic on Debbie,but do you, could you?
Could you help us?
You know, remember why?
Why did Debbie want to do theride?
Speaker 2 (09:38):
Well, I'll tell you why.
Debbie was my inspiration fordoing the ride.
Debbie was diagnosed withcancer and came through it like
a champion and besides comingthrough this, this horrible
disease has made a difference inso many other people's lives,
and that's really something thatis so important to me, and I
(09:59):
directly attribute that to mymother, who couldn't keep track
of all the uniforms she had towear because she was
volunteering for Boy Scouts, cubScouts, girl Scouts all at the
same time, then going to cancercare meetings, and I just really
admired.
That type of person wants tomake a difference.
So Debbie came through herbattle amazingly well and then
(10:22):
decided she's going to make adifference, and that led to her
taking this on and talk about agreat example she's been for our
kids in doing all this.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
Absolutely, it's a, it's a.
Really it's a great story.
And how many times have youdone the ride now?
Speaker 2 (10:36):
Five, five times.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
I didn't realize it was that much.
And every time you've done it,haven't you like, brought in
other family members and yeah,the year that Debbie did it with
us, we had the largest group.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
Okay Think there were 12 of us, wow, two of my three
sisters and we had some cousinsdoing it.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
And that was that was an incredible year.
Yeah, I remember, and you do agreat job of posting it on
social media and getting peopleto get excited about it and,
like you said, you know, donatefor an incredible cause while
you're doing this remarkablething.
So I love that story.
I'm so glad we shared it.
I've thought about doing itwith you in the past.
I don't know if I could handleit these days as we get older,
it gets, it gets harder.
(11:13):
But you guys are certainly aninspiration on that.
So just to kind of stay alittle bit close to the fitness
part of it, you've also donesome marathons, right?
How many marathons have youbeen?
Speaker 2 (11:25):
I've done two full and about 12 halves.
I think I remember seeing youon a few of those.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
I did one half with you.
That was years ago too, butagain, I did it because of you.
As we sit here and talk aboutthis, you're reminding me all of
these things I've done and kindof the fitness world in that
way.
Um, you and your family haveinspired me to do it, so thank
you for that.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
My pleasure.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
In fact, your sister Sarah ran the last, I think,
three miles with me of the thehalf marathon and we were
chatting the whole time, so thatwas awesome too.
But um, oh, I wanted to.
Let's just continue on this inthis track skiing.
We didn't even write that onyour list of things that you do,
but you're kind of a ski addict.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
We love skiing, don't we?
Speaker 1 (12:11):
Yeah, well, not me.
You love skiing.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
And I love it because we get to spend time.
My favorite part of skiing isbeing in the gondola or on the
chairlift with my wife anddaughters and singing.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
Really.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
That's like my favorite part of skiing.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
I think wasn't it you that did you make up a song
with my kids on a chairlift yesI wasn't there for that, but I
think I remember hearing you didthat Because I needed singing.
Speaker 2 (12:35):
When I started skiing , I was petrified.
I don't like heights, okay, sosinging was the only way when
Sarri and I my sister startedskiing, we'd actually sing to
calm ourselves down.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
Right.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
Going up to chairlift .
Speaker 1 (12:46):
Yeah, I love it, I love it, but anyway.
So I think, if anyone'slistening out there and I hope
people are that is the goal ofthis, but you kind of get the
gist of who Scott is.
You're kind of an extremist insome ways.
I don't know if you realizethat, but I'm going to tell you
from marathons to 540 mile plusbike rides, you don't just ski,
you ski fast and you love reallygood gear.
(13:09):
Yes, yes, Right, of course, why?
Yeah, tell us about that.
How do you get the best gear?
Why is that important?
Speaker 2 (13:16):
It's all in the research.
To me, that's part of the funis getting.
When you have a passion forsomething, you want to get to
know all about it.
Whether it's bicycling, planes,boats, skiing, you would like
to be informed and, let's faceit, everything changes all the
time.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
Right.
Speaker 2 (13:32):
And that's part of a desire to always want to learn
and keep up with things.
Isn't that great.
You have the opportunity toconstantly engage in something
you really enjoy and learn newthings.
Absolutely, absolutely Itotally agree.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
In fact, I'm now thinking too.
I've also been with you whenyou've been water skiing that's
another thing I've seen you doand I water ski with you and
everyone in this room my husband, debbie and that was a blast.
But I'm hearing even a theme,and I tend to do this with
everyone I talk to.
I like the conversation justcomes out and then the theme
hits me, and I think yourpresence that encourages other
(14:07):
people to step out of theircomfort zone and try something
new, because I probably wouldhave never gotten on those water
skis if it weren't for youeither.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
What's that old saying?
No growth comes from yourcomfort zone.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
All right, that's right.
You've got to get out of thecomfort zone and try new things.
Right.
So what about you in your life?
What have you done that's outof your comfort zone?
Because it seems like all thesethings you just go for it.
Everything, Really.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
I was raised a very shy, quiet person.
It wasn't until 10th gradewhere a classmate turned around
and said you know, you're reallytoo quiet.
And then I just thought I haveto be a little louder.
Or the first time I gave aspeech in high school where I
started talking and everyone inthe front row is going like this
and I didn't know why.
(14:55):
And then this they finally saidstop, okay.
And I said what happened?
They said you're talking sofast.
No one can hear what you'resaying because I'm so nervous.
So then I just thought I got toget better at that.
You know, I can read everyone'sfuture.
Speaker 1 (15:10):
Okay, how so?
Speaker 2 (15:11):
And it's pretty bad, but you know we're all going to
end up right.
Speaker 1 (15:14):
Oh, there you go.
Yeah, we're not going to behere forever.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
Right, and there's a wonderful poem.
So, friends that we both withyou know, liz and Jeff, yes,
their boat is named the dash,great poem by Ellis.
The dash signifies on yourbirth.
On your tombstone there's theyear you were born and the year
you passed, but it's the dash inthe middle that makes all the
difference.
I love that.
(15:38):
So the key and I think that'skind of what we live every day
in our family is what are youdoing with the dash?
I love it you know how are yougoing to make an impactful,
positive difference?
We all have.
You know you have kids, by theway.
Your kids need to be a guest.
Thank you, you have the mostincredible kids.
What did you guys do I?
Speaker 1 (15:56):
don't know it wasn't me Right, and I look at our kids
.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
I just say, you know, I'm incredibly lucky that I
married really well.
I have these great kids.
You sure did, but that's partof how are you leaving?
What wake are you leaving in aboat when you go by?
There's a wake, yeah, andsometimes that wake can be
damaging if you're going toofast, or if you drop a pebble
and a pond, it creates ripples.
(16:21):
What kind of ripples are weleaving during our dash?
Speaker 1 (16:26):
That's profound.
I love these kind of moments inthis conversation when you say
that's what it's about.
Right it is is the dash.
What are we doing while we'rehere?
What difference are we making?
Speaker 2 (16:36):
What are we doing to leave it better for the people
that come after us?
Because, let's face it, it'spretty good right.
Speaker 1 (16:41):
Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
And it's pretty good because someone before us did
something pretty good.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
You bet.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
So there's no accident.
So I think it's incumbent on usto keep making it better.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
I'm with you, scott, I'm with you.
So let's shift a little bit toyour work life a little.
You know we do work.
Yes, you've made a good livingand we kind of kicked off by
saying that you're a financialadvisor here on Long Island.
Do you want to talk a littlebit about that?
How you got into that, how didyou get into that business to
(17:14):
begin with?
Speaker 2 (17:15):
That's a.
I got into it because I saw anincredible need in my own family
.
We weren't raised withfinancial literacy.
My grandfather was the firstone who taught me a bit about
why you should invest and itreally changed his life and I
kind of found my way into it alittle bit by accident.
Actually, I found the companyI'm with by a big accident
(17:38):
probably one of the luckiestthings that ever happened,
because we share the same ideals.
It's all about partnering forpositive impacts, not just with
our clients but with ourcommunities.
So our company is the nationalpresenting sponsor for the
Alzheimer's walks all over thecountry, Raised over $38 million
, because we see Alzheimer's isterrible disease that afflicts
(18:01):
the innocent.
It's people who have plannedand done so well for their lives
and then all of a sudden theywake up one day and their lives
get stolen away and it's notjust affecting them, it's
affecting their families and I'mso proud to be with a company
that decided to pick up themantle of.
We want to make a difference inthis and we're committed to do
this year after year.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
Absolutely.
Could you say the name of thecompany?
Speaker 2 (18:25):
Edward Jones investments.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
Yeah, that's fantastic and you're based in.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
I'm in St James.
Okay, just started there in1998.
Yeah, just a couple years ago.
Just a couple years ago.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
Exactly, but you know , could you share a little bit
about what your position isthere and what exactly?
Speaker 2 (18:43):
Sure, I'm a financial advisor and really what we do
is we help people identifywhat's really most important to
them and work together to helpthem meet their long term goals.
Not just financially, though.
I mean.
If you, if you talk about howdo you have a happy life?
People make the mistake ofmoney.
Well, no, money's a part of it,but there's a lot more.
(19:03):
And health.
There's no health in money'smeaningless.
You know there's friends andfamily.
You know what is your socialconnections.
There's your purpose, what'sgetting you up every day?
And then there's the financialaspect.
Right.
So I have the privilege ofreally getting to know our
(19:24):
select group of clients workingin partnership with them.
I've got a great office staffthat helps us Caroline who works
in the office is absolutelywonderful and we get to know our
clients.
We care greatly for them andhelp them meet the goals that
are important to them.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
Yeah, well, you're doing really important work and
I'll just put a plug here foryou, because you're also a
financial advisor to my husbandand I, so we appreciate you and
I don't think enough people takethose things that you just said
into consideration.
I think some people think it'snot for them, or maybe they
don't have enough money to putaside or what have you, because
(20:00):
I have a lot of people in thatcategory in my life and you've
helped us to see it, doesn't?
It doesn't matter, like howmuch you have.
It could be a small amount, buthow are you going to save for
the future?
Because, like you said, we'renot here forever and we're not
going to work forever, right?
So how do you?
Speaker 2 (20:17):
correct.
Yeah, hopefully.
Hopefully you might not.
I mean, my father was 89 yearsold.
Yeah he placed tennis four daysa week and he's still talking
about his next fire truck deal.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
And here I am.
My whole life is predicated onabout helping people prepare for
and live into retirement andwhat they're going to do with
their assets later on.
And people ask me when am Igoing to retirement?
I don't want to.
I love what I do.
Why would I stop retiring?
Speaker 1 (20:44):
That's fabulous.
Speaker 2 (20:45):
We just renovated our office.
Talked about commitment.
I doubled down on our office.
Actually, my wife now owns thebuilding that I work in and we
just renovated the downstairs.
So I'm committed for a longtime, You're committed for a
while.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
Very true, very true, but anyway.
So I feel like that's obviouslya huge component in your life.
But, as you said before, thatleads into the volunteer work
that you do, and you do a lot ofit.
So you know, I have a list infront of me for those of you
that aren't watching, but wehave a list.
I'd love to have you just kindof share some of these things
you know from a Rotary boardmember, chamber of Commerce
(21:20):
person of the decade.
You're a self-proclaimedvolunteer addict.
You've been named the SuffolkCounty of Long Island Volunteer
of the Year and there's onereally significant one that I
want to mention as well afounder and president of the
Deep Wells Farm HistoricalSociety.
I know I've just named a lot,but the reason I'm kind of
throwing them out there at onceis I use the word before
(21:42):
plethora.
How do you like that, billy?
I'm trying to use some biggerwords.
Seriously, that's a lot.
How do you find the time forthese things and what is the
enjoyment factor for you?
Speaker 2 (21:53):
It's too much, isn't it?
Speaker 1 (21:54):
No, I guess it's never enough in your book.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
You know, when I got the volunteer of the year for
Suffolk County, I think it wasmy wife who said oh, there's
something to be proud of.
You did the most for nothingout of everyone in Suffolk
County.
That is what that award is.
That is something to be proud ofyou know it's picture kids
sandbox, right, we all have asandbox that we live and play in
and I guess I always wanted tomake an impact on our sandbox.
(22:20):
So Deep Wells came about whenmy kids were little and we saw
this historic house.
It's owned by Suffolk Countyand we weren't getting enough
use out of it and the countycouldn't really support it
financially.
So they were kind enough to gointo partnership with the Deep
Wells Farm Historical Societythat a group of us formed and
(22:43):
allow us to do programs that notonly support the house but are
really fun for the community.
And I got to raise my kidsgoing to concerts and movie
nights and fall festivals andplaying Simon Says and they
still talk about it to this day.
And now we've evolved intodoing this crazy, huge haunted
(23:06):
house.
Speaker 1 (23:06):
And it's amazing.
I mean it's amazing, it'scoming up now.
Actually, this is the perfecttime to promote it.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
Friday, the 13th, and then it's open for three
weekends Fridays and Saturdaysand it's very scary.
Yes, it is An incredible groupof volunteers that put all this
together.
It's our main fundraiser thatallows us to do all the upkeep,
maintenance and repair on thehouse.
Not only that, we're able tohelp the county with the general
(23:31):
store.
That's great.
You know, budgets are strained,as everyone knows, and the
general store is having alighting issue, so we were able
to go in and redo all theirlighting for them.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
Yeah, so how many years have you been doing the
haunted house?
Oh gosh, that's a, it's been awhile now, I think 12 years.
Is it 12 years?
Speaker 2 (23:50):
Maybe even more.
The haunted house started byaccident and it just has been
growing each year.
Speaker 1 (23:55):
That's what I've noticed.
We've come a number of years.
In fact, I volunteered a coupleof times to be a scary person
behind a door with Debbie and Ican attest to how.
First of all, how thrilling itis and it is scary, like you've
got all these different roomsset up, and it's also really
transcended to the outdoors.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
Well, don't forget, we are doing a haunted house in
a legitimately haunted house.
Okay, it's in multiple books,ghost of Long Island, it's
featured in there and we have anumber of incidents going on.
I'm what they call a skeptic.
I'm not an outward believer ofthis, but I hear enough people
tell me some crazy experiencesgoing on.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
I was going to ask if you had any, because you've
been at that house many times.
Have you had any experiences?
We've had a lot.
You have.
Speaker 2 (24:41):
So one of my favorites is when the haunted
house started to get bigger.
We had to have rules.
So one of the rules is you haveto scare in place.
You can't follow people aroundbecause it's tight and it's dark
, and at the end we would askpeople what was your favorite
part?
And a lot of people kepttalking about the little bride.
Okay.
But then they kept talking abouthow she was just so eerie, the
(25:03):
way she floated after us downthe hall and I'm oh darn,
someone's following people downthe hall, yeah she just floated
around.
It was amazing.
This little bride wasunbelievable, uh-oh.
So at the end of the night wehave a meeting in the big
volunteer room and I'm askingokay, so who's the little bride?
Little bride, little bride, andno one's coming forward.
Speaker 1 (25:27):
Oh boy.
Speaker 2 (25:28):
And no, we couldn't find the little bride.
A week later, our paranormalist, who will be at the haunted
house, Joji and Quinto doessomething and he says you know,
I'm getting a very strongconnection with a little girl in
a communion dress.
And I said a communion dress,does that look like a wedding
gown?
(25:48):
Uh you know, so sure enough itdoes.
We have pictures that weretaken, that the person who used
to put our two still does putour tents up zoomed in and
there's a pick of a face in thewindow.
Speaker 1 (26:01):
Oh, my goodness.
Speaker 2 (26:02):
Or just two years ago , I went to open up the house
for the sprinkler maintenanceand they were very upset when I
got there.
I was, I got there at 8.01.
Okay, it's supposed to meetthem at 8.
And they were really upset andI said I'm sorry, I'm, I'm a
minute late, A minute, yeah.
No, who's the guy inside?
The guy he gave us the dirtiestlooks and he wouldn't open the
(26:24):
door for us.
And I said, oh, we'redecorating for the haunted house
.
You must have seen one of thefigures which window.
Yeah.
And they pointed to the backdoor at the parlor where we have
all the music events, and therewas nothing in that room.
Oh my.
God and they said no.
He spread the curtains apartand glared at us.
Wow, so they would not go inthe house.
(26:46):
So I had to go in the basementwith them on the phone telling
me what I needed to do.
Speaker 1 (26:50):
They were spooked.
They knew something was rightwhat was that.
What do you think about allthis?
Speaker 2 (26:55):
I'm a skeptic.
Okay, the one thing I'll say,and I'm still a skeptic.
But when I'm there late atnight, one night in particular,
I out loud said you know, Idon't believe in this.
You'd have to give me a strongsign.
And as I walked out the door,my pickup door slammed shut.
Oh geez, and it's a very heavy.
Donor is no wins.
So I said, oh, that's a goodone, but I'm still a skeptic.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
Right, but you know what?
You're there a lot and you'restill here with us.
Speaker 2 (27:19):
Correct.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
Everything seems OK, and so I'll take another moment
to plug the Deep Wells mansion.
It's October right now, andyou're doing it, as you say,
friday and Saturday nights.
Speaker 2 (27:27):
Friday, the starting.
Friday the 13th and then forthe it's three weekends Friday
and Saturday nights only.
That's fantastic.
Tickets are available online Ifyou go to Deep Wells, the
Facebook page will be there.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
We'll definitely promote it everybody, but I've
been there and it's a blast so Ihighly recommend checking it
out.
But you do a lot of things forfun too.
Like you're not that any of thethings we just said are not fun
, but some of the fun factsabout you that I love we kind of
mentioned some earlier is youknow your scuba certified, your
private pilot like we're talkingabout airplanes everybody you
(28:02):
drive, you could ride it.
You drive a motorcycle and youown a boat and you became a
captain.
So, like I know you talkedearlier about you know a little
bit of inspiration in your lifefrom your parents to kind of
just jump in and do things.
But is there anything youhaven't done yet that you still
want to do?
Speaker 2 (28:20):
Well, if you notice, it's all about going places,
yeah, so I want to be sure, ifneeded, I can fly, ride, dive, I
can get places.
You know the flying?
I got to blame my wife.
She brought me my first flyinglesson.
It's something that I hadaspired to do since I was five
years old.
My first book that I ever readwas sticking rudder.
(28:42):
My father was an Air Forcepilot oh, first generation
fighter jet pilot and I alwayswanted to be like him and do
that, but it wasn't until Debbiebought me my first lesson.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
Go Deb.
Speaker 2 (28:56):
I'm a big comfort zone person, believe it or not.
It's hard for me to move, but Isee that as a constant
challenge.
And look, look what I live with.
You know I got Debbie, who doesthis incredible bike ride
without the prep and trainingthat I did.
You know she did train a littlebit.
I did it with my sister oneyear who didn't train at all,
(29:17):
but didn't?
Speaker 1 (29:18):
both sister Missy and Missy did some training at
least?
Speaker 2 (29:21):
Sorry, didn't, didn't train, that's just with sure
force of will decide I'm goingto do the ride on a bike that
they didn't even fit right.
Speaker 1 (29:31):
Maybe this will inspire other people to do the
same, to do this ride too.
Speaker 2 (29:34):
Well, I would advise getting ready for just a little
bit.
A little bit of training, so alittle bit, so you're not so
stiff, making a more pleasurableexperience.
Speaker 1 (29:41):
Exactly, but what it would out of all the things I
just mentioned, or any of thoselike more of a favorite than the
other, from scuba diving topiloting a plane or so when you
started, you introduced me.
Speaker 2 (29:55):
You said first thing was my wife, yes, second thing
was my kids yes, I did.
Okay.
So that's my priorities.
And what I love about every oneof those things is that it all
involves the family From flying.
One of the things you do whenyou're flying an airplane,
before you start the motor, isyou scream clear prop.
You don't want anyone standingnear the prop.
(30:17):
Okay, and one of our my thrillswas when my daughter was old
enough to fly with us.
Her job was to scream clearprop.
It came out clear pop usually,but all those things are just a
thrill because I get to do them.
My family, my, my olderdaughter, became scuba certified
and we had Rebecca didRebecca's scuba certified.
Speaker 1 (30:39):
I did know that because you talked about that.
You've seen sharks under there,of course.
Speaker 2 (30:44):
And I made the mistake of showing Debbie the
picture of Rebecca with about 30sharks behind her.
Had her, sure it's safe.
But and then Rebecca, who youknow as very soft right Gentle,
I have these two kids that takeafter Debbie.
Debbie did all the travelingwhen she was a kid.
I was.
My version of traveling wasEpcot.
I can see everything in one day.
(31:05):
I love Epcot.
But we have these kids that areso daring.
Speaker 1 (31:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (31:09):
You know, Rebecca went for her open water dive
down in Florida where thevisibility was about three feet.
Good for her.
And she's down there and youhave to navigate by compass, and
so they they.
Let me go down to watch thetest.
Yeah.
And I was petrified for herbecause she had to swim away by
compass, turn around and swimback, but with no visibility.
(31:29):
How do you know?
If you're off one degree,you're not going to see us.
And I counted, yeah, becauseshe had to make 25 kicks out.
I'm counting and in my head itwas now uh, oh, plus one, she
should be back, plus two, plusthree.
Right, she's off one degree,because when you turn underwater
, how do you know?
Luckily, she knew how to useher compass and at plus five,
(31:51):
there she came out of the Merckright at us.
Okay.
And afterwards I said Rebecca,what would you have done?
Speaker 1 (31:56):
if you couldn't find her.
Speaker 2 (31:59):
Right away.
She knew lost diver surface.
She knew the answer right awayyeah.
And then we have our youngerdaughter, Julianna, Julie.
Julie, Another adventurer.
She decided to study abroad andwanted to go where she didn't
know anybody Can't believe this.
Speaker 1 (32:14):
She just left right.
I wouldn't do that recently.
Speaker 2 (32:17):
And then she left again because she's teaching
English now in Valencia, spain,for an entire year and again
picked a program where she knewnobody.
It's where she wanted to go.
Yeah, good for them, he must beso proud of these girls.
That's not me.
Well no, that's Debbie.
Speaker 1 (32:33):
All right, okay, this is listen.
I kudos to your whole family.
It's amazing, but you don'tgive yourself enough credit.
I'm just going to put that outthere and I know those listening
now that know you like I do,will say that I'm right about
that.
Speaker 2 (32:48):
Well, I'm sure my mom's probably the only one left
at this point.
So, mom, hi Fran.
Speaker 1 (32:51):
Hi Fran.
Speaker 2 (32:53):
Again, you had this amazing podcast for the first
three.
Speaker 1 (32:56):
You're so funny.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
And now I'm the.
I'll apologize in advance.
Speaker 1 (33:00):
No, please don't, Because it's just so fun it
really is.
I mean, there's other thingstoo, like the amount of travel
that you have all done in yourfamily.
I mean, how many countries haveyou been to?
Do you keep count?
Speaker 2 (33:10):
I think 27.
Speaker 1 (33:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:12):
But my daughter's, julie's, over 30.
Speaker 1 (33:15):
Is she really?
Speaker 2 (33:16):
She's over 30 because she went and now who knows what
, she's going to be up becauseshe's still exploring.
Yeah, don't forget, I didn'tlike traveling until Debbie was
the one who introduced me totraveling.
Okay, she introduced me tovegetables also.
You know, it's funny.
Speaker 1 (33:32):
It's a good match apparently.
Speaker 2 (33:34):
Yeah, and I'm not going to say Debbie changed me,
because I think change is aninsult.
You know she didn't marry me,wanted to change me, but she
helped me evolve.
That's the perfect part, and Igot to where I am now because of
of Debbie's guidance there andI think we both helped each
other evolve in different ways.
And I think our daughters kindof the culmination of our
(33:54):
ongoing involvement.
I mean I look at them andthey're way ahead of where I was
in their courage andwillingness to do things.
Speaker 1 (34:02):
Well it's, you know it's.
You're right, though Like I'vewatched again, no new 20 years.
I've watched you and Debbiemotivate each other.
I've seen you motivate her aswell.
I've been fortunate enough tobe on some trips with you with
other friends, like up inVermont, for example, and I
remember a day where we all wentout on a bike ride and, okay,
we did a great bike ride, wewent up these mountainous hills
(34:23):
and it was a beautiful view.
And then we got back and thenwe went for this huge swim and
then it was like what, whatdidn't we do?
But I think watching you andDebbie inspire all of us.
And then oh I forgot to mentionthis you're a boxer.
Next thing you know, you'reteaching us all how to box,
right, you remember that.
Speaker 2 (34:40):
So we started that day with a hike.
We did a bike ride and and I dohave a video of you, because at
the end of the bike ride and itwas after a lot of hills and we
were exhausted, and now we'reon a dirt, gravelly road and
Megan decides to take off- I did.
And she looks back and screamskick it into high gear as she
(35:04):
takes off into the dust, and Ifortunately have that on video.
I did and it's that spirit, thatyou know that really I think
that's what it was.
You know I love the title.
We're Made for More right.
I just I love that because howmany of us I don't think any of
us are living up to what wecould be doing.
(35:24):
Yeah.
Because I don't think we wakeup with the right mindset
typically.
Speaker 1 (35:28):
I love that you're saying that.
Tell me more.
What do you think that is?
Speaker 2 (35:32):
Because we don't realize that this isn't forever.
And again back to that morbidthing.
I know everyone's future.
I don't know when.
But what are you doing each dayto make it count and to make a
difference?
Can you go to bed each nightand said that was an enjoyable
day?
How many of us live incircumstances that are an ideal
(35:53):
and we're just kind of used toit?
Yeah.
You know, whereas is theresomething we can do to make it
better?
I mean, I'm guilty.
I need to get in shape, I needto lose weight.
Speaker 1 (36:08):
Hey, I'll get beyond this.
Speaker 2 (36:09):
This is my marathon running week.
I mean, I just you look great.
Speaker 1 (36:12):
I think you look great, Scott.
Speaker 2 (36:14):
The good thing about being this way when you run a
marathon, people cheer like youwouldn't believe.
Speaker 1 (36:18):
What do you mean?
Speaker 2 (36:19):
I was running with.
I had a running group out of StJames and and they're all
really skinny and they look likerunners and you run the New
York marathon.
We were told, put your name ontape, tape your name, so we'll
had our names and tape.
And we're running.
And all you heard was peoplecheering for Scott.
And I'm running with twosisters, Donna and Nicole, in
(36:40):
particular, and they said youknow what move?
Because I was at the edge andthey thought because I was
closer, so they made me run inthe center and they got to the
edge.
People would call for that.
Nope, they're cheering Scott,because you don't see a lot of
big guys like me running amarathon.
Speaker 1 (36:54):
Good for you, first of all.
Good for you.
I mean, I think like again hereyou go, again selling yourself
short.
Speaker 2 (36:59):
But you know we have our own category.
They call us the Clydesdales.
How's that for it?
Speaker 1 (37:03):
Well, the Clydesdales are beautiful, so I just want
to say that they're beautiful,beautiful creature.
Speaker 2 (37:08):
I want to be a thoroughbred.
I'm in the Clydesdale category.
Speaker 1 (37:11):
But, um, you know you're talking about.
We are made for more.
I'm glad you, I'm glad youtouched on that.
You know.
Clearly that is somethingimportant to me.
I keep saying this on everyepisode, at least once that what
did we come here to do?
Does anyone ever ask themselvesthat in a given day, it's so
easy to get wrapped up in ourlives, and whether that's work
(37:31):
or what you're doing, or rightnow I'm going through college
application process with my son,or you know the amount of
activities my daughter does, andthose are all great things.
That that's our life, that'swhat living is.
But sometimes I think we get sowrapped up in the things we do
that you, you just said it did.
We say at the end of the day,did I have you know, was that a
great day?
Do people ask themselves thatenough?
(37:52):
Or you just go oh, my God, I'mexhausted, I'm going to sleep.
Do you know what I mean?
Right, the pause that fit, didwe?
When do you cherish it?
When do you think about it?
Speaker 2 (38:01):
I think I have a little hope for the younger kids
than I do for my generation andI look at my in-laws.
Unfortunately, we lost mymother-in-law, joan, back in
July I'm so sorry.
And Joan knew how to have funand her amazing husband, ralph.
They know how to have fun.
I mean, they love tennis.
(38:21):
They play all the time.
They were the ones who had theparties where they would dig a
hole and put a pig under theground and bury it and roast it
all day.
They would take their kidsplaces I've never heard of you
know they.
My father-in-law is part of theoriginal explorers club and
they knew how to cherish timeand do amazingly adventurous,
(38:42):
interesting things and have alot of parties.
And.
I almost think that mygeneration got so tied into you
know, we've got to succeed,We've got to earn more, We've
got to advance in life thatwe're forgetting.
We kind of forgot what'simportant, and and it's is it
who we are?
Is it what we do, or is who weare who we are?
(39:04):
And I just wonder is that afailure?
There are so many reallysuccessful people out there,
right, but is what they're doingto gain that success making an
impact positively?
Speaker 1 (39:18):
It's a great point.
I love that you just asked thatis who we are.
What we do, maybe, maybe it is,but maybe it isn't.
I think some people definetheir success by exactly that,
like, oh, did I reach thecertain level?
Right, did, what is that?
And it's different foreverybody, but sometimes who we
(39:40):
are is who we are.
What about just that?
And thinking about that for aminute and soaking in that we're
here for a reason.
Speaker 2 (39:49):
What if you define yourself by things that can be
taken from you?
If you define yourself by whatyou do You're a surgeon and, god
forbid, you have an accidentthat doesn't allow you to
perform surgery anymore Wellthen, what are you?
So I always think it'shealthier to define yourself by
who you are and not what you do,because that can't be taken
(40:10):
from you.
Speaker 1 (40:11):
Yeah, I agree, I love it.
Thank you for pausing andbringing that up.
It's definitely an importantpart of why we're doing this and
, like I said before, I wantedto bring you on here.
First of all, you have a reallyinteresting life.
I'm here to tell you that.
You may not think it, but,scott, it's like so fun to read
through the list and there'smore.
I mean like we talked thatyou're a boxer, but aren't you
(40:32):
also ordained?
Yes, I'm an ordained minister.
Speaker 2 (40:36):
I had the absolute thrill.
This is gonna sound bad when Isay I married my sister.
I performed the weddingceremony for my sister.
I also performed the weddingceremony for my nephew Tyler and
his wife Nicole, along with herstepdad, and it just I became
(40:56):
ordained because I saw thisgreat opportunity to do this
really cool thing that I enjoydoing, and actually I also
performed at my other sister'sSarah's wedding.
Speaker 1 (41:06):
I know that's amazing and anyone can become ordained.
Speaker 2 (41:08):
It's an internet course, is it?
It helps just to take a longtime.
It's not that hard, it's notthat hard.
Speaker 1 (41:14):
But I think you know, as we keep going through it, I
love just that.
You.
It's almost like if there'ssomething to be done, you're the
guy that jumps in and does it.
That's yeah.
Now you're given a look, butit's true.
And I could see how the cornerof my eye is Debbie his wife is
nodding.
Yes, and it's true, you're thatguy that jumps in and does it.
If and that's the thing oh,I'll get ordained, I'll go get
(41:35):
my captain's license.
So I think that's reallyinspiring for all the people
that are around you in life.
Speaker 2 (41:40):
I think a lot of people are like that.
You do, I mean, I do.
I look at you and Billy, I lookat the entertainment you
provided for a whole bunch of usduring COVID, the lockdowns,
where we were excited, we weregiddy about watching the
broadcast and the music and itwas just, it was a highlight.
Speaker 1 (42:01):
Thank you for saying that that was a fun show for
anyone that?
doesn't know.
We did a show during COVID.
We called it an evening withthe Alexanders and we featured
really my husband playing pianoand the piano is behind you,
scott, in this video clip.
But thank you for bringing thatup.
But you're right, and I said onmy last episode that everybody
(42:21):
has a story.
Everybody obviously has a lifestory and it's almost like a
rhetorical thing to even saythat, like that's obvious.
But that's the point ofbringing people here is to hear
about all your different lifestories, to hear how do other
people navigate, how do otherpeople navigate all the
different challenges and stillsmile every day and come out on
(42:42):
top, and you're somebody thatdoes that.
Speaker 2 (42:45):
Well, let's face it, we're all going to have
obstacles, right?
Speaker 1 (42:47):
Yeah, we sure are.
Speaker 2 (42:49):
You know, and I watched my wife go through a
pretty serious health challengeand I watched her make a
conscious decision how she wasgoing to handle it.
And she handled it with humor,with positivity.
We actually got in trouble onceduring a chemo session for
making too much noise.
(43:09):
We were having so much fun withthe other couple that were near
us.
Next time we went back we gotput in chemo detention Because
we went to the nice chemo roomand they said, oh no, no, you're
in chemo B today.
We never heard of chemo B.
Well, let me.
Chemo A had these comfortablelounge chairs, a beautiful
window, snacks and TVs at everystation.
Chemo B was a closet withgauges on the wall with no
(43:34):
windows and no snacks.
And we go into chemo B Wow, whathappened?
And then three minutes laterthe other couple we were having
fun with walked in.
So then we got to laugh at it.
Oh, we got put in chemodetention.
Speaker 1 (43:45):
That's hysterical.
I love that you make light ofit.
Speaker 2 (43:48):
Debbie is well now, and that's not gone, would Not
gone, would of course, butthat's the positive part of that
story.
Speaker 1 (43:55):
So thank goodness for that.
Well, a couple more questions.
I know we've been talking awhile, but I could talk to you
all night to be very honest withyou.
But if you had to kind of say,what are you most proud of?
What is something that standsout to you?
Speaker 2 (44:10):
My family.
Ok, there you go.
Oh, that's it Hands down myfamily.
Speaker 1 (44:15):
There you go.
Let's go to the next question.
I actually don't blame you, andfor everyone that's been
listening to this whole episode,there's a lot of things to be
proud of with your familyAmazing people.
Speaker 2 (44:26):
I've got an incredible wife who puts up with
all the crazy stuff I do, whohumors my nutty ideas.
I have inspirational childrenthat I'm so proud of and, yeah,
I think there's definitely anelement of luck.
My kids are so different fromone to the other, yeah, they are
(44:49):
.
I'm very lucky that they'reboth wonderful, but there's
definitely an element of luck.
We know that so I'm reallyincredibly lucky.
Speaker 1 (44:58):
Yeah, you are, but you are when we pause and say,
of course you are lucky, butclearly you and Debbie are
incredible parents that haveraised them with the values and
the same inspiration that we'vebeen talking about.
And, frankly, expectations Notenough people talk about as
parents these days.
There are expectations of kidsand the more that you I'm going
(45:23):
to speak for myself that I feelI've had high expectations of my
own children and sometimes tootough, but sometimes it's
important to be tough.
Speaker 2 (45:33):
OK, so if you're too tough, then I think everyone
should go out and get a whip.
Because, your kids came outamazing.
But, I agree with you.
I had a really tough father.
Fortunately, I had a veryunderstanding mother who
balanced it, very loving father,who I had a very adversarial
relationship with for most of mylife and what was interesting
(45:57):
is we became close when the poophit the fan.
We actually became close thelast few years.
He was alive and I remember myfather.
We were actually workingtogether in an office one day
and he walked in, stood at thedoor.
He said don't worry.
I said what?
And at this point we weretalking multiple times a day on
(46:20):
the phone.
We were working with each otherall day.
We really became friends now.
I didn't agree with hislifestyle.
He didn't understand mine.
But he stood at the door andsaid don't worry.
And I what?
Don't worry, you're fine, ok?
I said what?
And he said it a third time.
I just want you to know don'tworry, it's okay.
(46:41):
I said what's okay?
And he said you're nothing likeme.
And.
I thought that was mostimpactful statement and it just
shows his understanding and hefinally came to understand that
not only is it okay that we'redifferent, but he had this
vision of how my life was goingto be and he had shared his
(47:03):
regrets.
You know, he was the typicalworkaholic absentee father who
would come home and it would bea giant storm when he was there
and he knew that I was on adifferent path and he didn't
understand that a lot.
And again, this happened beforeI even had kids.
He just saw that I wasdifferent and he wanted to tell
me at that point, you're goingto be fine, my regrets aren't
(47:25):
going to be your regrets, andthat meant a lot.
That was an incrediblyinspirational moment.
Speaker 1 (47:31):
I bet I'm just soaking it in myself.
I think that's so powerful.
Did you have a response to that, or was it not needed?
Speaker 2 (47:39):
I had a very well put together response and I can
quote it right now.
That was it.
I was shocked and it took me awhile to even fully understand
the depth.
He was a really brilliant man.
Speaker 1 (47:53):
I've heard a lot about him.
I obviously never got to meethim, but I have heard that.
Speaker 2 (47:56):
You know, he could say a volume in a sentence and
that was the example.
I've analyzed that statementover the years and each time I
look at it there's actually adeeper meaning, and I had the
privilege of when I was talkingto him over the years.
After that I'd bring up thatstatement a number of times and
we'd dig into it more and, yeah,it had a lot of meaning.
Speaker 1 (48:18):
Right, that's incredible that you were able to
have that moment with him andto have even the everlasting
moments, like you just said, ofthe years that have gone by,
that you've thought even deeperabout it, because some people
don't even get that moment withsomebody they've had a
challenging relationship with.
Speaker 2 (48:32):
And you know what?
There's a lot I can see in mychildhood that I didn't like
with the relationship with myfather.
I don't do well on that.
I use that as okay.
I want to do things differentlyand I got his blessing.
And then I have my mom, who wasthe absolute perfect example of
how you want to live your life.
My mom was not only warm, youknow.
(48:54):
Franny, everyone loves Frannybut she had expectations of us.
You know she was ourdisciplinarian as well and I do
know that that's where there's alot of challenge today.
Yeah, I've.
You know disciplining almosthas a bad connotation a lot, but
I really think it's importantto have expectations, especially
(49:15):
of our kids, Absolutely.
I see my daughter, who's ateacher now, and she tells me
the story of what goes on in theclassrooms and it's sad
sometimes that you can tellthese kids have no disciplinary
direction at home.
You know they show up withCheetos for lunch.
Speaker 1 (49:32):
Right, that's so tough.
It's so tough.
I know there's a lot ofdifficulties out there in the
world.
Speaker 2 (49:36):
And if you remember when we were kids oh, you did
not want to have a bad reportgoing home right from the
teacher Now the teachers Italked to, it's totally
different.
Speaker 1 (49:47):
Really.
Why is that?
Speaker 2 (49:48):
when they send a bad report home, it's the teacher
who gets in trouble, it's notthe kid, it's the.
There's going to be a call tothe principal.
There's going to have to bereckoning.
How could you say it about mychild?
Right?
It's a very differentrelationship.
Speaker 1 (50:03):
Times have totally changed.
That's when we were in school.
Speaker 2 (50:06):
Times have changed.
Speaker 1 (50:06):
Yeah, they have I.
Some of the things about thetimes are great, but some things
like that that you'redescribing really aren't, and I
think there's something to besaid about having values and
expectations of people, becauseit helps you rise to them.
Speaker 2 (50:21):
It writes everything to edge, sort yeah Right, the
the internet age of information,wonderful.
Can get more informationquicker than ever before.
Can also get moredisinformation quicker than ever
before, that's right, Dr Google.
Speaker 1 (50:33):
Dr Google, for example and don't get me wrong,
I love Google, but we diagnoseourselves at home and oftentimes
we're wrong because we'reGoogling it and not getting the
right information.
But I love what you just said,the age of information, and I
heard Tony Robbins say recentlywe're in the age of information
and what we're lacking is theage of wisdom, If you think
(50:55):
about that because, it isinformation at our fingertips,
but we don't necessarily usewisdom to compliment that all
the time, and that's the part weall have to focus in on, if you
ask me.
Speaker 2 (51:08):
Well, we have AI now.
Why do you need to think at all?
Speaker 1 (51:10):
Well, there you go, there you go, so good transition
.
We've heard a lot about yourlife philosophies.
Is there anything, scott, onyour on your bucket list?
Still, I'm sure there is what'son there.
Speaker 2 (51:23):
It's funny, I don't really my I would have to say
doing great trips and adventureswith the family.
Yeah, you know, that's it we.
We just came off.
My father all came up for theweek.
We had an incredible experience.
We got together with 44 ofDebbie's cousins out in Matatuck
and I love each.
(51:44):
This is the second year we'vedone this and what's great is
each year that someone comesthat I never met.
Speaker 1 (51:50):
Really, and I walked up to a guy who's like.
Speaker 2 (51:53):
I don't even know who this is Like.
Hi, I'm Scott, and it turns outit's one of Debbie's cousins
who I never met, sons that justmoved back from Florida, and
it's just an amazing experienceto come together with family.
Speaker 1 (52:04):
Yeah.
I think it's great that's a bigfamily.
Speaker 2 (52:07):
Yeah, she's well one of her cousins of 10 kids.
Speaker 1 (52:10):
Okay, just so you know, I have two cousins.
Just to put it in perspective,I literally have two.
So I love hearing this.
I have four.
Speaker 2 (52:17):
I have to come to a cousin party you have four, I
have four.
Speaker 1 (52:20):
All right, we'll come to one of your cousin party.
So as we kind of like wrap uphere a little bit, you know,
before we do, just a couple oflittle fun questions.
If you were a superhero, whowould you be?
Oh, I know I have to throw azinger out there.
Speaker 2 (52:36):
Is there a superhero that can get through the buffet
table quicker than any superhero?
I'd be that one.
Speaker 1 (52:41):
That's you, you know it's funny I was.
Speaker 2 (52:43):
I had this conversation and one came to
mind, okay, and I forgot who itwas, the guy that can stretch a
lot.
Speaker 1 (52:51):
Oh, mr, is that elastic Elastic?
Speaker 2 (52:53):
I like being flexible .
Oh, so there was somethingabout that.
And then the, the flash theflash.
I like getting stuff done quickOkay.
Speaker 1 (53:03):
All right, but these are just fun questions to me.
Speaker 2 (53:05):
I want to be the superhero that my kids look at
and think I'm a hero.
Speaker 1 (53:08):
They do, and you know what, scott, that's the perfect
you know like to encapsulatethis conversation.
I know that they do.
Speaker 2 (53:15):
So we do a program through Rotary.
I'm with the Smithtown Rotary.
One of the programs we do formany years is give don't
dictionaries to every singlethird grader in the school
district and we talk a lot aboutdifferent definitions.
And one of the things we talkedabout was heroes and and what's
the definition of a hero?
And I think too often we thinka hero wears a cape, right.
So we drill down and the kidssay, well, a hero makes things
(53:39):
better.
You know, a hero helps peopleand we ask, okay, who in this
room is a hero?
And they think about it.
And our teachers, those areheroes.
So I want to be that superherothat makes a difference without
a cape, unless it's duringHalloween, then we wear capes.
We're all kinds of crazy things.
Speaker 1 (53:57):
I love it.
Well, I'm, you know.
If you haven't been told lately, I'll be here to say you
definitely make a difference,I've got, thank you.
I've got the list of all thethings that you do for all these
incredible charities, and sothank you for all that you do.
I'm definitely going to postsome of this as we, when we post
the episode, but even an elf atthe annual Angela's house
holiday party.
I know that you've done that aswell, too.
(54:19):
Is there anything else thatI've missed that you'd want to
share with everybody?
Speaker 2 (54:23):
Can I touch on that a little bit Please?
So Angela's house is awonderful, wonderful
organization run by BobHelicastro, where they care for
medically fragile, terminallyill children and Bob does this
incredible thing where he hasthe entire IBEW Hall, ibew union
hall in Hopog.
(54:44):
They do a two day party andthey bring the kids in and and I
always struggle getting peopleto volunteer because it's it's
tough and emotional A lot ofthese kids are in rather fragile
situations.
But what's amazing to me is thespirit of those kids.
So they're, they're, they comein wheelchairs a lot of them,
and we're, we're trying to, youknow, have a great day for them
(55:06):
and their siblings, but theattitude and the positive energy
that comes from them.
And then I go usually fromthere to a tree, a tree lighting
in town, where a lot of youngkids are, and I'm troubled
sometimes because some of thosekids aren't nearly as happy as
the kids that we see throughAngela's house.
(55:27):
So we take so much for granted.
Speaker 1 (55:30):
We do.
Speaker 2 (55:31):
And that's where volunteering for things like
that can kind of help resetpeople's expectations.
Speaker 1 (55:36):
I love that.
Is there any?
Could you share any words ofadvice for people that have
thought about volunteering butdon't know how to get started,
like I've had people ask mebecause I've done a few things
myself.
Well, what can I do?
Call yeah.
Speaker 2 (55:49):
Pick a pick.
There are so many organizationsout there.
Pick one that you're interestedin ask people and then call
them, say I would love to help.
What do you need?
Speaker 1 (55:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (55:59):
You know, show up.
Speaker 1 (56:01):
That would be great going into this holiday season
as another plug for everybody tojust let's.
Let's you know if you'relistening out there and you've
thought about volunteering, pickup the phone before
Thanksgiving and try and justoffer your services.
What can you do for four hours?
Speaker 2 (56:16):
So here's a simple rule we try to live by in our
house, and it's a question whatif everyone what if everyone?
What if everyone and I'll picka behavior what if everyone
threw their Hammogurrapper outof their car window?
Well, that wouldn't be good, no.
What if everyone picked up awrapper?
What if everyone volunteered todo something?
What if every?
So you know, that question cancan kind of direct you in a lot
(56:40):
of ways to well, how can I makethat?
Speaker 1 (56:42):
If you want to make a positive, impactful difference,
okay, that is something I'mtaking away from today and I'm
going to apply that to my lifetomorrow.
I'm not kidding.
So, everybody, what if everyonestart your day with that
question or put it somewhere inyour day and and follow it up
with a really good question, andmaybe we can all do that for
(57:03):
ourselves to make a difference?
Speaker 2 (57:05):
And here's the secret yeah, the more you give, the
more you get.
Speaker 1 (57:10):
Yes, can you tell a little bit more about that?
Speaker 2 (57:14):
Well, it's like anything else.
It's like investing the moreyou put into it, the more you
get out of it.
With giving it's so spirituallyfulfilling and then you get to
see it make a positive impact.
It can't not make you a happier, better person and more
appreciative of what you have.
It makes you focus on what youhave instead of what don't I
(57:39):
have.
Speaker 1 (57:39):
I love it.
That is a perfect way to wrapup this conversation, scott.
Thank you so much.
As we go into this holidayseason I hope everybody and I
know it's October, but thecoming months there's a lot of
holidays coming up and thinkabout that Like the more you
give, the more you get in returnand the better you feel and the
more appreciative you are ofwhat you have.
Speaker 2 (58:01):
And I'm going to make a promise to all of your
viewers that I'm sure numberfive will be better.
Hang in there.
We made it through.
Jump the shark.
Speaker 1 (58:08):
This is not jump the shark.
I actually had a lot of fun.
I know it's funny too because,knowing you as a friend, here we
are in like a seriousenvironment, but I can't thank
you enough for doing this withme tonight.
Speaker 2 (58:18):
My pleasure.
Speaker 1 (58:19):
Thanks for having me, you're the best, all right.
Speaker 2 (58:21):
You are.
Speaker 1 (58:22):
Talk to you soon, you got it.
Thanks, everybody, peace out.
Hello and welcome to.
We Are Made For More.
I'm your host, megan Alexander,and this is my podcast, and
tonight I have a new guest withme and it is Scott Posner, a
dear friend from St James, newYork, and we're going to get
right into it, hi, scotty.
Hello.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Megan.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Am I allowed to call you Scotty?
Speaker 2 (00:24):
You can call me whatever you want.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Just don't call you late for dinner.
I hate that joke.
I don't know where that camefrom.
These are just like the lifethings that happen when you're
recording and you don't knowwhat's going to come out.
But thanks so much for joiningme.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
On what we'll call the Jump the Shark episode.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Jump the Shark?
I don't think so.
I don't think so.
It's funny.
My kids have told me that, asI've started these podcasts,
that I'm too serious.
As I get started and I'm doingit again now they're like Mom,
you got to loosen up, just havea good time.
Just, you know, get it going.
But this is what it is.
We're going to have some fun,you ready?
Speaker 2 (00:54):
I'm ready.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
Okay, so for our listeners out there, I'm going
to tell them a little bit aboutyou, scott, and we've known each
other for 20 years, but noteverybody else here knows who
you are, so let me share alittle bit about Scott Posner.
So Scott is married let's startwith that fun fact.
Actually, debbie is here in therecording studio with us, so
(01:15):
welcome Debbie as well.
And he's a father to twoamazing young ladies, rebecca
and Juliana.
And let's see, he's got aplethora of facts.
We're going to touch on thesethroughout the night, but some
of the things I want to share,to highlight to get us going, is
he's an Edward Jones financialadvisor.
(01:37):
That's the right word.
We'll talk a little bit moreabout each of these things, but
he's got a lot of really coolthings about himself, like he's
scuba certified, he's a privatepilot, he has a motorcycle
license, he's licensed Marinecaptain.
And listen, I'm not going to gothrough all of the facts right
now because I think that'swhat's going to unfold as we
talk tonight, but the amount ofvolunteer activities that Scott
(02:01):
does is quite remarkable andit's really amazing All of the
different hats that he wears inlife.
And, like I said, I've knownyou 20 years, but, as I think
about the people that I want tobring on and talk to, it's
people that have inspired me andcertainly have inspired a ton
of other people, and youcertainly came to mind right
away, so that's why you're heretonight.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
Why?
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
But why do you think this is a jump the shark episode
?
Speaker 2 (02:26):
Well, I saw your other three guests and they were
phenomenally interesting.
And now there's me, and youknow, let's face it, out of
everyone in my life, I'm theleast interesting.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
Yeah, I don't, I don't, I don't agree with that.
You know my sisters, I do.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
One of them started an incredibly successful
preschool in Brooklyn on her ownthat's been up and running for
10 years.
The other one started a company, brooklyn Piggies, that made it
on Oprah's best gift ideaswithin two years.
The other one is a singertraveling all over Europe made
the blues hall of fameimmediately.
(03:01):
And then there's me.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
Yeah, wow, that's it.
It is amazing as you talk likethat, because you have a family
of incredible superstars andmaybe some of them will be
guests on the show.
We'll have to see how thisplays out as we go, but you're
right, you've got a reallytalented family, and that's
something that's always inspiredme is I'm like who is this pose
in her family?
They all just they're notafraid to just jump in and try
(03:26):
new things in life.
All of you guys, I mean listento the things that you just said
.
I mean, missy is one of themthat owns Brooklyn Piggies, and
every time I've talked to hershe's creating something new,
whether she's designing handbagsor serial entrepreneur, to say
the least serial entrepreneur,to say the least.
So anyway, scott, we'd love totalk a little bit about.
(03:48):
Let's even start there.
What do you think it is aboutyour family that makes everyone
so like I guess, eager or to getout there in life and explore
and do it all?
Speaker 2 (03:59):
It starts with our mom.
So my mom friend, who's her ownforce of nature and the most
incredibly kind, sweet, generousperson, and wherever you go I
mean anywhere you're going tofind someone whose life she
impacted.
We were sitting in a restaurantin Venice, Italy, and from
across the room we hear someonescream is that Fran Posner?
(04:21):
Oh, my gosh.
She's been a wait watcher likesure for over 40 years, until
she retired recently, and talkabout making a positive,
impactful difference.
And then our father was.
I think the best way todescribe me is Captain Kirk.
Without the ship, he was hisown incredible force of nature.
They taught us very differentthings in very different ways
and I think that's led to eachof my sisters being pretty
(04:44):
amazing.
Right Me just trying to keep up.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
You're so funny, you're so humble.
It's definitely a quality aboutyou that's evident.
It always has been.
I mean, I'm going to just telleverybody out there Scott's the
kind of person that will ride a50 mile bike ride and he'll do
circles around everybody.
He'll be able to go up ahead,come back, make sure everybody's
doing well and then makeeveryone else feel like a
(05:08):
superstar.
Do you know that that's aquality about yourself?
Speaker 2 (05:11):
No, but I do know that I have an assignment on the
rides.
If you remember, I was whatthey would call the bone,
because there was a certainrider that had too much energy
and my job was to sprint outahead and make this certain
rider chase us, because it waslike a dog chasing a bone to
expend their energy because theyhad so much.
(05:32):
And and Megan, you were thatdog that we were trying to tire
out because yet talk aboutsomeone being special we had
these amazing group rides and wehad so much fun and it just
besides the exercise, more thananything it was the social
aspect.
And, boy, you don't giveyourself enough credit because
we were all suffering just totire you out.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
Right, that's yeah gosh.
Just so funny as you're sittingthere I'm like you're talking
about me back in the day I'llshare with everybody that we
used to be.
But guess, we formed our ownbike club, our own Peloton, if
you will, because my husband andyour wife and we had, um, I
guess, four at least four otherpeople are like eight of us that
would do it at times, but westarted by all getting a road
(06:15):
bike because you encouraged usto do it.
I remember being afraid to ridewith the clips oh, they don't
not call clips clipless pedals.
Okay, okay.
I don't know why it's clipless,because you clip in, but clip
in, but um, you encouraged me toget my first road bike and then
that led to be getting myhusband a road bike Next thing.
You know we're biking on everySunday.
(06:36):
Do you remember that?
Speaker 2 (06:38):
I was.
I remember those days so fineyeah.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
It has been a while.
It's probably been 10 yearsalready.
I want to say if you.
Speaker 2 (06:43):
well, it's like riding a bike, it's like riding
a bike.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
But I remember we started out with maybe 10 mile
rides and then you're like, oh,let's, let's do 20.
We could do 20 miles and I'mlike 20 miles.
I mean, back then it was, itwas new for me, so we did 25.
Next thing, you know, scott, isum getting us to ride 50 mile
bike rides, and that was new forus.
But you just have a way of, uh,encouraging everybody.
(07:08):
I don't know if you know you dothat.
Oh, thanks, I was just havingfun, You're just having fun.
But let's, let's extend that alittle bit.
Let's talk, since we're incycling, let's talk about
something.
Scott, my biggest ride was 60miles.
I know that yours issignificantly more than that.
Share with everybody.
What's your your longest ride?
Speaker 2 (07:28):
So my longest ride is 565 miles.
It was supposed to be 545 milesover seven days, but it was an
extra 20 miles cause we'retaking detours to get ice cream.
And for anyone that has anyinterest in bicycling and making
a difference at the same time,I would highly recommend um
(07:50):
looking into many differentrides, but one that that I did
was Empire State Ride and it'sempire state ridecom.
It's a.
It's a seven day ride fromStaten Island to Niagara Falls
to raise money for cancerresearch for the Roswell
Institute, and each dollar weraised is exponentially matched
by grant work.
And what's incredible is seeingthe difference you're making
(08:11):
along the route.
Each night we have differentguests come speaking with us,
but can I tell you my mostinspirational?
Speaker 1 (08:18):
story.
Yeah, I'd love to hear it.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
So the first year I decided to do it, my family was
incredibly supportive butthought I was out of my mind for
doing it.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
Absolutely.
It does sound crazy.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
And we did the ride and I did it with my, my
brother-in-law Key, and mycousin David, who had introduced
us to the ride, and we did it.
My family met us along the way.
It was incredibly exciting andthey got to see the dinners and
and we go up to Niagara Fallsand I we're standing by the
falls the next morning and mywife's with me, and she said you
(08:49):
know, I think I want to do thisnext year.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
Wow yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
And she rode with us a little bit.
So, sure enough, the very nextyear Debbie did the ride, did
the entire ride.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
All 545 miles.
Yes, and I mean not only didthe ride but did it rather well,
raising over $10,000 herself inthat one year.
Our team, which is toward a Tedand named after our company's
founder, who passed from cancer,wow, and it's a privilege to
race close to $100,000 in thefive years we've been doing it.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
That's remarkable.
It really is something to beproud of.
So Debbie is in the room withus and I wish I could interview
her.
I don't have a mic on Debbie,but do you, could you?
Could you help us?
You know, remember why?
Why did Debbie want to do theride?
Speaker 2 (09:38):
Well, I'll tell you why.
Debbie was my inspiration fordoing the ride.
Debbie was diagnosed withcancer and came through it like
a champion and besides comingthrough this, this horrible
disease has made a difference inso many other people's lives,
and that's really something thatis so important to me, and I
(09:59):
directly attribute that to mymother, who couldn't keep track
of all the uniforms she had towear because she was
volunteering for Boy Scouts, cubScouts, girl Scouts all at the
same time, then going to cancercare meetings, and I just really
admired.
That type of person wants tomake a difference.
So Debbie came through herbattle amazingly well and then
(10:22):
decided she's going to make adifference, and that led to her
taking this on and talk about agreat example she's been for our
kids in doing all this.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
Absolutely, it's a, it's a.
Really it's a great story.
And how many times have youdone the ride now?
Speaker 2 (10:36):
Five, five times.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
I didn't realize it was that much.
And every time you've done it,haven't you like, brought in
other family members and yeah,the year that Debbie did it with
us, we had the largest group.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
Okay Think there were 12 of us, wow, two of my three
sisters and we had some cousinsdoing it.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
And that was that was an incredible year.
Yeah, I remember, and you do agreat job of posting it on
social media and getting peopleto get excited about it and,
like you said, you know, donatefor an incredible cause while
you're doing this remarkablething.
So I love that story.
I'm so glad we shared it.
I've thought about doing itwith you in the past.
I don't know if I could handleit these days as we get older,
it gets, it gets harder.
(11:13):
But you guys are certainly aninspiration on that.
So just to kind of stay alittle bit close to the fitness
part of it, you've also donesome marathons, right?
How many marathons have youbeen?
Speaker 2 (11:25):
I've done two full and about 12 halves.
I think I remember seeing youon a few of those.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
I did one half with you.
That was years ago too, butagain, I did it because of you.
As we sit here and talk aboutthis, you're reminding me all of
these things I've done and kindof the fitness world in that
way.
Um, you and your family haveinspired me to do it, so thank
you for that.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
My pleasure.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
In fact, your sister Sarah ran the last, I think,
three miles with me of the thehalf marathon and we were
chatting the whole time, so thatwas awesome too.
But um, oh, I wanted to.
Let's just continue on this inthis track skiing.
We didn't even write that onyour list of things that you do,
but you're kind of a ski addict.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
We love skiing, don't we?
Speaker 1 (12:11):
Yeah, well, not me.
You love skiing.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
And I love it because we get to spend time.
My favorite part of skiing isbeing in the gondola or on the
chairlift with my wife anddaughters and singing.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
Really.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
That's like my favorite part of skiing.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
I think wasn't it you that did you make up a song
with my kids on a chairlift yesI wasn't there for that, but I
think I remember hearing you didthat Because I needed singing.
Speaker 2 (12:35):
When I started skiing , I was petrified.
I don't like heights, okay, sosinging was the only way when
Sarri and I my sister startedskiing, we'd actually sing to
calm ourselves down.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
Right.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
Going up to chairlift .
Speaker 1 (12:46):
Yeah, I love it, I love it, but anyway.
So I think, if anyone'slistening out there and I hope
people are that is the goal ofthis, but you kind of get the
gist of who Scott is.
You're kind of an extremist insome ways.
I don't know if you realizethat, but I'm going to tell you
from marathons to 540 mile plusbike rides, you don't just ski,
you ski fast and you love reallygood gear.
(13:09):
Yes, yes, Right, of course, why?
Yeah, tell us about that.
How do you get the best gear?
Why is that important?
Speaker 2 (13:16):
It's all in the research.
To me, that's part of the funis getting.
When you have a passion forsomething, you want to get to
know all about it.
Whether it's bicycling, planes,boats, skiing, you would like
to be informed and, let's faceit, everything changes all the
time.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
Right.
Speaker 2 (13:32):
And that's part of a desire to always want to learn
and keep up with things.
Isn't that great.
You have the opportunity toconstantly engage in something
you really enjoy and learn newthings.
Absolutely, absolutely Itotally agree.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
In fact, I'm now thinking too.
I've also been with you whenyou've been water skiing that's
another thing I've seen you doand I water ski with you and
everyone in this room my husband, debbie and that was a blast.
But I'm hearing even a theme,and I tend to do this with
everyone I talk to.
I like the conversation justcomes out and then the theme
hits me, and I think yourpresence that encourages other
(14:07):
people to step out of theircomfort zone and try something
new, because I probably wouldhave never gotten on those water
skis if it weren't for youeither.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
What's that old saying?
No growth comes from yourcomfort zone.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
All right, that's right.
You've got to get out of thecomfort zone and try new things.
Right.
So what about you in your life?
What have you done that's outof your comfort zone?
Because it seems like all thesethings you just go for it.
Everything, Really.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
I was raised a very shy, quiet person.
It wasn't until 10th gradewhere a classmate turned around
and said you know, you're reallytoo quiet.
And then I just thought I haveto be a little louder.
Or the first time I gave aspeech in high school where I
started talking and everyone inthe front row is going like this
and I didn't know why.
(14:55):
And then this they finally saidstop, okay.
And I said what happened?
They said you're talking sofast.
No one can hear what you'resaying because I'm so nervous.
So then I just thought I got toget better at that.
You know, I can read everyone'sfuture.
Speaker 1 (15:10):
Okay, how so?
Speaker 2 (15:11):
And it's pretty bad, but you know we're all going to
end up right.
Speaker 1 (15:14):
Oh, there you go.
Yeah, we're not going to behere forever.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
Right, and there's a wonderful poem.
So, friends that we both withyou know, liz and Jeff, yes,
their boat is named the dash,great poem by Ellis.
The dash signifies on yourbirth.
On your tombstone there's theyear you were born and the year
you passed, but it's the dash inthe middle that makes all the
difference.
I love that.
(15:38):
So the key and I think that'skind of what we live every day
in our family is what are youdoing with the dash?
I love it you know how are yougoing to make an impactful,
positive difference?
We all have.
You know you have kids, by theway.
Your kids need to be a guest.
Thank you, you have the mostincredible kids.
What did you guys do I?
Speaker 1 (15:56):
don't know it wasn't me Right, and I look at our kids
.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
I just say, you know, I'm incredibly lucky that I
married really well.
I have these great kids.
You sure did, but that's partof how are you leaving?
What wake are you leaving in aboat when you go by?
There's a wake, yeah, andsometimes that wake can be
damaging if you're going toofast, or if you drop a pebble
and a pond, it creates ripples.
(16:21):
What kind of ripples are weleaving during our dash?
Speaker 1 (16:26):
That's profound.
I love these kind of moments inthis conversation when you say
that's what it's about.
Right it is is the dash.
What are we doing while we'rehere?
What difference are we making?
Speaker 2 (16:36):
What are we doing to leave it better for the people
that come after us?
Because, let's face it, it'spretty good right.
Speaker 1 (16:41):
Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
And it's pretty good because someone before us did
something pretty good.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
You bet.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
So there's no accident.
So I think it's incumbent on usto keep making it better.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
I'm with you, scott, I'm with you.
So let's shift a little bit toyour work life a little.
You know we do work.
Yes, you've made a good livingand we kind of kicked off by
saying that you're a financialadvisor here on Long Island.
Do you want to talk a littlebit about that?
How you got into that, how didyou get into that business to
(17:14):
begin with?
Speaker 2 (17:15):
That's a.
I got into it because I saw anincredible need in my own family
.
We weren't raised withfinancial literacy.
My grandfather was the firstone who taught me a bit about
why you should invest and itreally changed his life and I
kind of found my way into it alittle bit by accident.
Actually, I found the companyI'm with by a big accident
(17:38):
probably one of the luckiestthings that ever happened,
because we share the same ideals.
It's all about partnering forpositive impacts, not just with
our clients but with ourcommunities.
So our company is the nationalpresenting sponsor for the
Alzheimer's walks all over thecountry, Raised over $38 million
, because we see Alzheimer's isterrible disease that afflicts
(18:01):
the innocent.
It's people who have plannedand done so well for their lives
and then all of a sudden theywake up one day and their lives
get stolen away and it's notjust affecting them, it's
affecting their families and I'mso proud to be with a company
that decided to pick up themantle of.
We want to make a difference inthis and we're committed to do
this year after year.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
Absolutely.
Could you say the name of thecompany?
Speaker 2 (18:25):
Edward Jones investments.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
Yeah, that's fantastic and you're based in.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
I'm in St James.
Okay, just started there in1998.
Yeah, just a couple years ago.
Just a couple years ago.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
Exactly, but you know , could you share a little bit
about what your position isthere and what exactly?
Speaker 2 (18:43):
Sure, I'm a financial advisor and really what we do
is we help people identifywhat's really most important to
them and work together to helpthem meet their long term goals.
Not just financially, though.
I mean.
If you, if you talk about howdo you have a happy life?
People make the mistake ofmoney.
Well, no, money's a part of it,but there's a lot more.
(19:03):
And health.
There's no health in money'smeaningless.
You know there's friends andfamily.
You know what is your socialconnections.
There's your purpose, what'sgetting you up every day?
And then there's the financialaspect.
Right.
So I have the privilege ofreally getting to know our
(19:24):
select group of clients workingin partnership with them.
I've got a great office staffthat helps us Caroline who works
in the office is absolutelywonderful and we get to know our
clients.
We care greatly for them andhelp them meet the goals that
are important to them.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
Yeah, well, you're doing really important work and
I'll just put a plug here foryou, because you're also a
financial advisor to my husbandand I, so we appreciate you and
I don't think enough people takethose things that you just said
into consideration.
I think some people think it'snot for them, or maybe they
don't have enough money to putaside or what have you, because
(20:00):
I have a lot of people in thatcategory in my life and you've
helped us to see it, doesn't?
It doesn't matter, like howmuch you have.
It could be a small amount, buthow are you going to save for
the future?
Because, like you said, we'renot here forever and we're not
going to work forever, right?
So how do you?
Speaker 2 (20:17):
correct.
Yeah, hopefully.
Hopefully you might not.
I mean, my father was 89 yearsold.
Yeah he placed tennis four daysa week and he's still talking
about his next fire truck deal.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
And here I am.
My whole life is predicated onabout helping people prepare for
and live into retirement andwhat they're going to do with
their assets later on.
And people ask me when am Igoing to retirement?
I don't want to.
I love what I do.
Why would I stop retiring?
Speaker 1 (20:44):
That's fabulous.
Speaker 2 (20:45):
We just renovated our office.
Talked about commitment.
I doubled down on our office.
Actually, my wife now owns thebuilding that I work in and we
just renovated the downstairs.
So I'm committed for a longtime, You're committed for a
while.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
Very true, very true, but anyway.
So I feel like that's obviouslya huge component in your life.
But, as you said before, thatleads into the volunteer work
that you do, and you do a lot ofit.
So you know, I have a list infront of me for those of you
that aren't watching, but wehave a list.
I'd love to have you just kindof share some of these things
you know from a Rotary boardmember, chamber of Commerce
(21:20):
person of the decade.
You're a self-proclaimedvolunteer addict.
You've been named the SuffolkCounty of Long Island Volunteer
of the Year and there's onereally significant one that I
want to mention as well afounder and president of the
Deep Wells Farm HistoricalSociety.
I know I've just named a lot,but the reason I'm kind of
throwing them out there at onceis I use the word before
(21:42):
plethora.
How do you like that, billy?
I'm trying to use some biggerwords.
Seriously, that's a lot.
How do you find the time forthese things and what is the
enjoyment factor for you?
Speaker 2 (21:53):
It's too much, isn't it?
Speaker 1 (21:54):
No, I guess it's never enough in your book.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
You know, when I got the volunteer of the year for
Suffolk County, I think it wasmy wife who said oh, there's
something to be proud of.
You did the most for nothingout of everyone in Suffolk
County.
That is what that award is.
That is something to be proud ofyou know it's picture kids
sandbox, right, we all have asandbox that we live and play in
and I guess I always wanted tomake an impact on our sandbox.
(22:20):
So Deep Wells came about whenmy kids were little and we saw
this historic house.
It's owned by Suffolk Countyand we weren't getting enough
use out of it and the countycouldn't really support it
financially.
So they were kind enough to gointo partnership with the Deep
Wells Farm Historical Societythat a group of us formed and
(22:43):
allow us to do programs that notonly support the house but are
really fun for the community.
And I got to raise my kidsgoing to concerts and movie
nights and fall festivals andplaying Simon Says and they
still talk about it to this day.
And now we've evolved intodoing this crazy, huge haunted
(23:06):
house.
Speaker 1 (23:06):
And it's amazing.
I mean it's amazing, it'scoming up now.
Actually, this is the perfecttime to promote it.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
Friday, the 13th, and then it's open for three
weekends Fridays and Saturdaysand it's very scary.
Yes, it is An incredible groupof volunteers that put all this
together.
It's our main fundraiser thatallows us to do all the upkeep,
maintenance and repair on thehouse.
Not only that, we're able tohelp the county with the general
(23:31):
store.
That's great.
You know, budgets are strained,as everyone knows, and the
general store is having alighting issue, so we were able
to go in and redo all theirlighting for them.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
Yeah, so how many years have you been doing the
haunted house?
Oh gosh, that's a, it's been awhile now, I think 12 years.
Is it 12 years?
Speaker 2 (23:50):
Maybe even more.
The haunted house started byaccident and it just has been
growing each year.
Speaker 1 (23:55):
That's what I've noticed.
We've come a number of years.
In fact, I volunteered a coupleof times to be a scary person
behind a door with Debbie and Ican attest to how.
First of all, how thrilling itis and it is scary, like you've
got all these different roomsset up, and it's also really
transcended to the outdoors.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
Well, don't forget, we are doing a haunted house in
a legitimately haunted house.
Okay, it's in multiple books,ghost of Long Island, it's
featured in there and we have anumber of incidents going on.
I'm what they call a skeptic.
I'm not an outward believer ofthis, but I hear enough people
tell me some crazy experiencesgoing on.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
I was going to ask if you had any, because you've
been at that house many times.
Have you had any experiences?
We've had a lot.
You have.
Speaker 2 (24:41):
So one of my favorites is when the haunted
house started to get bigger.
We had to have rules.
So one of the rules is you haveto scare in place.
You can't follow people aroundbecause it's tight and it's dark
, and at the end we would askpeople what was your favorite
part?
And a lot of people kepttalking about the little bride.
Okay.
But then they kept talking abouthow she was just so eerie, the
(25:03):
way she floated after us downthe hall and I'm oh darn,
someone's following people downthe hall, yeah she just floated
around.
It was amazing.
This little bride wasunbelievable, uh-oh.
So at the end of the night wehave a meeting in the big
volunteer room and I'm askingokay, so who's the little bride?
Little bride, little bride, andno one's coming forward.
Speaker 1 (25:27):
Oh boy.
Speaker 2 (25:28):
And no, we couldn't find the little bride.
A week later, our paranormalist, who will be at the haunted
house, Joji and Quinto doessomething and he says you know,
I'm getting a very strongconnection with a little girl in
a communion dress.
And I said a communion dress,does that look like a wedding
gown?
(25:48):
Uh you know, so sure enough itdoes.
We have pictures that weretaken, that the person who used
to put our two still does putour tents up zoomed in and
there's a pick of a face in thewindow.
Speaker 1 (26:01):
Oh, my goodness.
Speaker 2 (26:02):
Or just two years ago , I went to open up the house
for the sprinkler maintenanceand they were very upset when I
got there.
I was, I got there at 8.01.
Okay, it's supposed to meetthem at 8.
And they were really upset andI said I'm sorry, I'm, I'm a
minute late, A minute, yeah.
No, who's the guy inside?
The guy he gave us the dirtiestlooks and he wouldn't open the
(26:24):
door for us.
And I said, oh, we'redecorating for the haunted house
.
You must have seen one of thefigures which window.
Yeah.
And they pointed to the backdoor at the parlor where we have
all the music events, and therewas nothing in that room.
Oh my.
God and they said no.
He spread the curtains apartand glared at us.
Wow, so they would not go inthe house.
(26:46):
So I had to go in the basementwith them on the phone telling
me what I needed to do.
Speaker 1 (26:50):
They were spooked.
They knew something was rightwhat was that.
What do you think about allthis?
Speaker 2 (26:55):
I'm a skeptic.
Okay, the one thing I'll say,and I'm still a skeptic.
But when I'm there late atnight, one night in particular,
I out loud said you know, Idon't believe in this.
You'd have to give me a strongsign.
And as I walked out the door,my pickup door slammed shut.
Oh geez, and it's a very heavy.
Donor is no wins.
So I said, oh, that's a goodone, but I'm still a skeptic.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
Right, but you know what?
You're there a lot and you'restill here with us.
Speaker 2 (27:19):
Correct.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
Everything seems OK, and so I'll take another moment
to plug the Deep Wells mansion.
It's October right now, andyou're doing it, as you say,
friday and Saturday nights.
Speaker 2 (27:27):
Friday, the starting.
Friday the 13th and then forthe it's three weekends Friday
and Saturday nights only.
That's fantastic.
Tickets are available online Ifyou go to Deep Wells, the
Facebook page will be there.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
We'll definitely promote it everybody, but I've
been there and it's a blast so Ihighly recommend checking it
out.
But you do a lot of things forfun too.
Like you're not that any of thethings we just said are not fun
, but some of the fun factsabout you that I love we kind of
mentioned some earlier is youknow your scuba certified, your
private pilot like we're talkingabout airplanes everybody you
(28:02):
drive, you could ride it.
You drive a motorcycle and youown a boat and you became a
captain.
So, like I know you talkedearlier about you know a little
bit of inspiration in your lifefrom your parents to kind of
just jump in and do things.
But is there anything youhaven't done yet that you still
want to do?
Speaker 2 (28:20):
Well, if you notice, it's all about going places,
yeah, so I want to be sure, ifneeded, I can fly, ride, dive, I
can get places.
You know the flying?
I got to blame my wife.
She brought me my first flyinglesson.
It's something that I hadaspired to do since I was five
years old.
My first book that I ever readwas sticking rudder.
(28:42):
My father was an Air Forcepilot oh, first generation
fighter jet pilot and I alwayswanted to be like him and do
that, but it wasn't until Debbiebought me my first lesson.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
Go Deb.
Speaker 2 (28:56):
I'm a big comfort zone person, believe it or not.
It's hard for me to move, but Isee that as a constant
challenge.
And look, look what I live with.
You know I got Debbie, who doesthis incredible bike ride
without the prep and trainingthat I did.
You know she did train a littlebit.
I did it with my sister oneyear who didn't train at all,
(29:17):
but didn't?
Speaker 1 (29:18):
both sister Missy and Missy did some training at
least?
Speaker 2 (29:21):
Sorry, didn't, didn't train, that's just with sure
force of will decide I'm goingto do the ride on a bike that
they didn't even fit right.
Speaker 1 (29:31):
Maybe this will inspire other people to do the
same, to do this ride too.
Speaker 2 (29:34):
Well, I would advise getting ready for just a little
bit.
A little bit of training, so alittle bit, so you're not so
stiff, making a more pleasurableexperience.
Speaker 1 (29:41):
Exactly, but what it would out of all the things I
just mentioned, or any of thoselike more of a favorite than the
other, from scuba diving topiloting a plane or so when you
started, you introduced me.
Speaker 2 (29:55):
You said first thing was my wife, yes, second thing
was my kids yes, I did.
Okay.
So that's my priorities.
And what I love about every oneof those things is that it all
involves the family From flying.
One of the things you do whenyou're flying an airplane,
before you start the motor, isyou scream clear prop.
You don't want anyone standingnear the prop.
(30:17):
Okay, and one of our my thrillswas when my daughter was old
enough to fly with us.
Her job was to scream clearprop.
It came out clear pop usually,but all those things are just a
thrill because I get to do them.
My family, my, my olderdaughter, became scuba certified
and we had Rebecca didRebecca's scuba certified.
Speaker 1 (30:39):
I did know that because you talked about that.
You've seen sharks under there,of course.
Speaker 2 (30:44):
And I made the mistake of showing Debbie the
picture of Rebecca with about 30sharks behind her.
Had her, sure it's safe.
But and then Rebecca, who youknow as very soft right Gentle,
I have these two kids that takeafter Debbie.
Debbie did all the travelingwhen she was a kid.
I was.
My version of traveling wasEpcot.
I can see everything in one day.
(31:05):
I love Epcot.
But we have these kids that areso daring.
Speaker 1 (31:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (31:09):
You know, Rebecca went for her open water dive
down in Florida where thevisibility was about three feet.
Good for her.
And she's down there and youhave to navigate by compass, and
so they they.
Let me go down to watch thetest.
Yeah.
And I was petrified for herbecause she had to swim away by
compass, turn around and swimback, but with no visibility.
(31:29):
How do you know?
If you're off one degree,you're not going to see us.
And I counted, yeah, becauseshe had to make 25 kicks out.
I'm counting and in my head itwas now uh, oh, plus one, she
should be back, plus two, plusthree.
Right, she's off one degree,because when you turn underwater
, how do you know?
Luckily, she knew how to useher compass and at plus five,
(31:51):
there she came out of the Merckright at us.
Okay.
And afterwards I said Rebecca,what would you have done?
Speaker 1 (31:56):
if you couldn't find her.
Speaker 2 (31:59):
Right away.
She knew lost diver surface.
She knew the answer right awayyeah.
And then we have our youngerdaughter, Julianna, Julie.
Julie, Another adventurer.
She decided to study abroad andwanted to go where she didn't
know anybody Can't believe this.
Speaker 1 (32:14):
She just left right.
I wouldn't do that recently.
Speaker 2 (32:17):
And then she left again because she's teaching
English now in Valencia, spain,for an entire year and again
picked a program where she knewnobody.
It's where she wanted to go.
Yeah, good for them, he must beso proud of these girls.
That's not me.
Well no, that's Debbie.
Speaker 1 (32:33):
All right, okay, this is listen.
I kudos to your whole family.
It's amazing, but you don'tgive yourself enough credit.
I'm just going to put that outthere and I know those listening
now that know you like I do,will say that I'm right about
that.
Speaker 2 (32:48):
Well, I'm sure my mom's probably the only one left
at this point.
So, mom, hi Fran.
Speaker 1 (32:51):
Hi Fran.
Speaker 2 (32:53):
Again, you had this amazing podcast for the first
three.
Speaker 1 (32:56):
You're so funny.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
And now I'm the.
I'll apologize in advance.
Speaker 1 (33:00):
No, please don't, Because it's just so fun it
really is.
I mean, there's other thingstoo, like the amount of travel
that you have all done in yourfamily.
I mean, how many countries haveyou been to?
Do you keep count?
Speaker 2 (33:10):
I think 27.
Speaker 1 (33:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:12):
But my daughter's, julie's, over 30.
Speaker 1 (33:15):
Is she really?
Speaker 2 (33:16):
She's over 30 because she went and now who knows what
, she's going to be up becauseshe's still exploring.
Yeah, don't forget, I didn'tlike traveling until Debbie was
the one who introduced me totraveling.
Okay, she introduced me tovegetables also.
You know, it's funny.
Speaker 1 (33:32):
It's a good match apparently.
Speaker 2 (33:34):
Yeah, and I'm not going to say Debbie changed me,
because I think change is aninsult.
You know she didn't marry me,wanted to change me, but she
helped me evolve.
That's the perfect part, and Igot to where I am now because of
of Debbie's guidance there andI think we both helped each
other evolve in different ways.
And I think our daughters kindof the culmination of our
(33:54):
ongoing involvement.
I mean I look at them andthey're way ahead of where I was
in their courage andwillingness to do things.
Speaker 1 (34:02):
Well it's, you know it's.
You're right, though Like I'vewatched again, no new 20 years.
I've watched you and Debbiemotivate each other.
I've seen you motivate her aswell.
I've been fortunate enough tobe on some trips with you with
other friends, like up inVermont, for example, and I
remember a day where we all wentout on a bike ride and, okay,
we did a great bike ride, wewent up these mountainous hills
(34:23):
and it was a beautiful view.
And then we got back and thenwe went for this huge swim and
then it was like what, whatdidn't we do?
But I think watching you andDebbie inspire all of us.
And then oh I forgot to mentionthis you're a boxer.
Next thing you know, you'reteaching us all how to box,
right, you remember that.
Speaker 2 (34:40):
So we started that day with a hike.
We did a bike ride and and I dohave a video of you, because at
the end of the bike ride and itwas after a lot of hills and we
were exhausted, and now we'reon a dirt, gravelly road and
Megan decides to take off- I did.
And she looks back and screamskick it into high gear as she
(35:04):
takes off into the dust, and Ifortunately have that on video.
I did and it's that spirit, thatyou know that really I think
that's what it was.
You know I love the title.
We're Made for More right.
I just I love that because howmany of us I don't think any of
us are living up to what wecould be doing.
(35:24):
Yeah.
Because I don't think we wakeup with the right mindset
typically.
Speaker 1 (35:28):
I love that you're saying that.
Tell me more.
What do you think that is?
Speaker 2 (35:32):
Because we don't realize that this isn't forever.
And again back to that morbidthing.
I know everyone's future.
I don't know when.
But what are you doing each dayto make it count and to make a
difference?
Can you go to bed each nightand said that was an enjoyable
day?
How many of us live incircumstances that are an ideal
(35:53):
and we're just kind of used toit?
Yeah.
You know, whereas is theresomething we can do to make it
better?
I mean, I'm guilty.
I need to get in shape, I needto lose weight.
Speaker 1 (36:08):
Hey, I'll get beyond this.
Speaker 2 (36:09):
This is my marathon running week.
I mean, I just you look great.
Speaker 1 (36:12):
I think you look great, Scott.
Speaker 2 (36:14):
The good thing about being this way when you run a
marathon, people cheer like youwouldn't believe.
Speaker 1 (36:18):
What do you mean?
Speaker 2 (36:19):
I was running with.
I had a running group out of StJames and and they're all
really skinny and they look likerunners and you run the New
York marathon.
We were told, put your name ontape, tape your name, so we'll
had our names and tape.
And we're running.
And all you heard was peoplecheering for Scott.
And I'm running with twosisters, Donna and Nicole, in
(36:40):
particular, and they said youknow what move?
Because I was at the edge andthey thought because I was
closer, so they made me run inthe center and they got to the
edge.
People would call for that.
Nope, they're cheering Scott,because you don't see a lot of
big guys like me running amarathon.
Speaker 1 (36:54):
Good for you, first of all.
Good for you.
I mean, I think like again hereyou go, again selling yourself
short.
Speaker 2 (36:59):
But you know we have our own category.
They call us the Clydesdales.
How's that for it?
Speaker 1 (37:03):
Well, the Clydesdales are beautiful, so I just want
to say that they're beautiful,beautiful creature.
Speaker 2 (37:08):
I want to be a thoroughbred.
I'm in the Clydesdale category.
Speaker 1 (37:11):
But, um, you know you're talking about.
We are made for more.
I'm glad you, I'm glad youtouched on that.
You know.
Clearly that is somethingimportant to me.
I keep saying this on everyepisode, at least once that what
did we come here to do?
Does anyone ever ask themselvesthat in a given day, it's so
easy to get wrapped up in ourlives, and whether that's work
(37:31):
or what you're doing, or rightnow I'm going through college
application process with my son,or you know the amount of
activities my daughter does, andthose are all great things.
That that's our life, that'swhat living is.
But sometimes I think we get sowrapped up in the things we do
that you, you just said it did.
We say at the end of the day,did I have you know, was that a
great day?
Do people ask themselves thatenough?
(37:52):
Or you just go oh, my God, I'mexhausted, I'm going to sleep.
Do you know what I mean?
Right, the pause that fit, didwe?
When do you cherish it?
When do you think about it?
Speaker 2 (38:01):
I think I have a little hope for the younger kids
than I do for my generation andI look at my in-laws.
Unfortunately, we lost mymother-in-law, joan, back in
July I'm so sorry.
And Joan knew how to have funand her amazing husband, ralph.
They know how to have fun.
I mean, they love tennis.
(38:21):
They play all the time.
They were the ones who had theparties where they would dig a
hole and put a pig under theground and bury it and roast it
all day.
They would take their kidsplaces I've never heard of you
know they.
My father-in-law is part of theoriginal explorers club and
they knew how to cherish timeand do amazingly adventurous,
(38:42):
interesting things and have alot of parties.
And.
I almost think that mygeneration got so tied into you
know, we've got to succeed,We've got to earn more, We've
got to advance in life thatwe're forgetting.
We kind of forgot what'simportant, and and it's is it
who we are?
Is it what we do, or is who weare who we are?
(39:04):
And I just wonder is that afailure?
There are so many reallysuccessful people out there,
right, but is what they're doingto gain that success making an
impact positively?
Speaker 1 (39:18):
It's a great point.
I love that you just asked thatis who we are.
What we do, maybe, maybe it is,but maybe it isn't.
I think some people definetheir success by exactly that,
like, oh, did I reach thecertain level?
Right, did, what is that?
And it's different foreverybody, but sometimes who we
(39:40):
are is who we are.
What about just that?
And thinking about that for aminute and soaking in that we're
here for a reason.
Speaker 2 (39:49):
What if you define yourself by things that can be
taken from you?
If you define yourself by whatyou do You're a surgeon and, god
forbid, you have an accidentthat doesn't allow you to
perform surgery anymore Wellthen, what are you?
So I always think it'shealthier to define yourself by
who you are and not what you do,because that can't be taken
(40:10):
from you.
Speaker 1 (40:11):
Yeah, I agree, I love it.
Thank you for pausing andbringing that up.
It's definitely an importantpart of why we're doing this and
, like I said before, I wantedto bring you on here.
First of all, you have a reallyinteresting life.
I'm here to tell you that.
You may not think it, but,scott, it's like so fun to read
through the list and there'smore.
I mean like we talked thatyou're a boxer, but aren't you
(40:32):
also ordained?
Yes, I'm an ordained minister.
Speaker 2 (40:36):
I had the absolute thrill.
This is gonna sound bad when Isay I married my sister.
I performed the weddingceremony for my sister.
I also performed the weddingceremony for my nephew Tyler and
his wife Nicole, along with herstepdad, and it just I became
(40:56):
ordained because I saw thisgreat opportunity to do this
really cool thing that I enjoydoing, and actually I also
performed at my other sister'sSarah's wedding.
Speaker 1 (41:06):
I know that's amazing and anyone can become ordained.
Speaker 2 (41:08):
It's an internet course, is it?
It helps just to take a longtime.
It's not that hard, it's notthat hard.
Speaker 1 (41:14):
But I think you know, as we keep going through it, I
love just that.
You.
It's almost like if there'ssomething to be done, you're the
guy that jumps in and does it.
That's yeah.
Now you're given a look, butit's true.
And I could see how the cornerof my eye is Debbie his wife is
nodding.
Yes, and it's true, you're thatguy that jumps in and does it.
If and that's the thing oh,I'll get ordained, I'll go get
(41:35):
my captain's license.
So I think that's reallyinspiring for all the people
that are around you in life.
Speaker 2 (41:40):
I think a lot of people are like that.
You do, I mean, I do.
I look at you and Billy, I lookat the entertainment you
provided for a whole bunch of usduring COVID, the lockdowns,
where we were excited, we weregiddy about watching the
broadcast and the music and itwas just, it was a highlight.
Speaker 1 (42:01):
Thank you for saying that that was a fun show for
anyone that?
doesn't know.
We did a show during COVID.
We called it an evening withthe Alexanders and we featured
really my husband playing pianoand the piano is behind you,
scott, in this video clip.
But thank you for bringing thatup.
But you're right, and I said onmy last episode that everybody
(42:21):
has a story.
Everybody obviously has a lifestory and it's almost like a
rhetorical thing to even saythat, like that's obvious.
But that's the point ofbringing people here is to hear
about all your different lifestories, to hear how do other
people navigate, how do otherpeople navigate all the
different challenges and stillsmile every day and come out on
(42:42):
top, and you're somebody thatdoes that.
Speaker 2 (42:45):
Well, let's face it, we're all going to have
obstacles, right?
Speaker 1 (42:47):
Yeah, we sure are.
Speaker 2 (42:49):
You know, and I watched my wife go through a
pretty serious health challengeand I watched her make a
conscious decision how she wasgoing to handle it.
And she handled it with humor,with positivity.
We actually got in trouble onceduring a chemo session for
making too much noise.
(43:09):
We were having so much fun withthe other couple that were near
us.
Next time we went back we gotput in chemo detention Because
we went to the nice chemo roomand they said, oh no, no, you're
in chemo B today.
We never heard of chemo B.
Well, let me.
Chemo A had these comfortablelounge chairs, a beautiful
window, snacks and TVs at everystation.
Chemo B was a closet withgauges on the wall with no
(43:34):
windows and no snacks.
And we go into chemo B Wow, whathappened?
And then three minutes laterthe other couple we were having
fun with walked in.
So then we got to laugh at it.
Oh, we got put in chemodetention.
Speaker 1 (43:45):
That's hysterical.
I love that you make light ofit.
Speaker 2 (43:48):
Debbie is well now, and that's not gone, would Not
gone, would of course, butthat's the positive part of that
story.
Speaker 1 (43:55):
So thank goodness for that.
Well, a couple more questions.
I know we've been talking awhile, but I could talk to you
all night to be very honest withyou.
But if you had to kind of say,what are you most proud of?
What is something that standsout to you?
Speaker 2 (44:10):
My family.
Ok, there you go.
Oh, that's it Hands down myfamily.
Speaker 1 (44:15):
There you go.
Let's go to the next question.
I actually don't blame you, andfor everyone that's been
listening to this whole episode,there's a lot of things to be
proud of with your familyAmazing people.
Speaker 2 (44:26):
I've got an incredible wife who puts up with
all the crazy stuff I do, whohumors my nutty ideas.
I have inspirational childrenthat I'm so proud of and, yeah,
I think there's definitely anelement of luck.
My kids are so different fromone to the other, yeah, they are
(44:49):
.
I'm very lucky that they'reboth wonderful, but there's
definitely an element of luck.
We know that so I'm reallyincredibly lucky.
Speaker 1 (44:58):
Yeah, you are, but you are when we pause and say,
of course you are lucky, butclearly you and Debbie are
incredible parents that haveraised them with the values and
the same inspiration that we'vebeen talking about.
And, frankly, expectations Notenough people talk about as
parents these days.
There are expectations of kidsand the more that you I'm going
(45:23):
to speak for myself that I feelI've had high expectations of my
own children and sometimes tootough, but sometimes it's
important to be tough.
Speaker 2 (45:33):
OK, so if you're too tough, then I think everyone
should go out and get a whip.
Because, your kids came outamazing.
But, I agree with you.
I had a really tough father.
Fortunately, I had a veryunderstanding mother who
balanced it, very loving father,who I had a very adversarial
relationship with for most of mylife and what was interesting
(45:57):
is we became close when the poophit the fan.
We actually became close thelast few years.
He was alive and I remember myfather.
We were actually workingtogether in an office one day
and he walked in, stood at thedoor.
He said don't worry.
I said what?
And at this point we weretalking multiple times a day on
(46:20):
the phone.
We were working with each otherall day.
We really became friends now.
I didn't agree with hislifestyle.
He didn't understand mine.
But he stood at the door andsaid don't worry.
And I what?
Don't worry, you're fine, ok?
I said what?
And he said it a third time.
I just want you to know don'tworry, it's okay.
(46:41):
I said what's okay?
And he said you're nothing likeme.
And.
I thought that was mostimpactful statement and it just
shows his understanding and hefinally came to understand that
not only is it okay that we'redifferent, but he had this
vision of how my life was goingto be and he had shared his
(47:03):
regrets.
You know, he was the typicalworkaholic absentee father who
would come home and it would bea giant storm when he was there
and he knew that I was on adifferent path and he didn't
understand that a lot.
And again, this happened beforeI even had kids.
He just saw that I wasdifferent and he wanted to tell
me at that point, you're goingto be fine, my regrets aren't
(47:25):
going to be your regrets, andthat meant a lot.
That was an incrediblyinspirational moment.
Speaker 1 (47:31):
I bet I'm just soaking it in myself.
I think that's so powerful.
Did you have a response to that, or was it not needed?
Speaker 2 (47:39):
I had a very well put together response and I can
quote it right now.
That was it.
I was shocked and it took me awhile to even fully understand
the depth.
He was a really brilliant man.
Speaker 1 (47:53):
I've heard a lot about him.
I obviously never got to meethim, but I have heard that.
Speaker 2 (47:56):
You know, he could say a volume in a sentence and
that was the example.
I've analyzed that statementover the years and each time I
look at it there's actually adeeper meaning, and I had the
privilege of when I was talkingto him over the years.
After that I'd bring up thatstatement a number of times and
we'd dig into it more and, yeah,it had a lot of meaning.
Speaker 1 (48:18):
Right, that's incredible that you were able to
have that moment with him andto have even the everlasting
moments, like you just said, ofthe years that have gone by,
that you've thought even deeperabout it, because some people
don't even get that moment withsomebody they've had a
challenging relationship with.
Speaker 2 (48:32):
And you know what?
There's a lot I can see in mychildhood that I didn't like
with the relationship with myfather.
I don't do well on that.
I use that as okay.
I want to do things differentlyand I got his blessing.
And then I have my mom, who wasthe absolute perfect example of
how you want to live your life.
My mom was not only warm, youknow.
(48:54):
Franny, everyone loves Frannybut she had expectations of us.
You know she was ourdisciplinarian as well and I do
know that that's where there's alot of challenge today.
Yeah, I've.
You know disciplining almosthas a bad connotation a lot, but
I really think it's importantto have expectations, especially
(49:15):
of our kids, Absolutely.
I see my daughter, who's ateacher now, and she tells me
the story of what goes on in theclassrooms and it's sad
sometimes that you can tellthese kids have no disciplinary
direction at home.
You know they show up withCheetos for lunch.
Speaker 1 (49:32):
Right, that's so tough.
It's so tough.
I know there's a lot ofdifficulties out there in the
world.
Speaker 2 (49:36):
And if you remember when we were kids oh, you did
not want to have a bad reportgoing home right from the
teacher Now the teachers Italked to, it's totally
different.
Speaker 1 (49:47):
Really.
Why is that?
Speaker 2 (49:48):
when they send a bad report home, it's the teacher
who gets in trouble, it's notthe kid, it's the.
There's going to be a call tothe principal.
There's going to have to bereckoning.
How could you say it about mychild?
Right?
It's a very differentrelationship.
Speaker 1 (50:03):
Times have totally changed.
That's when we were in school.
Speaker 2 (50:06):
Times have changed.
Speaker 1 (50:06):
Yeah, they have I.
Some of the things about thetimes are great, but some things
like that that you'redescribing really aren't, and I
think there's something to besaid about having values and
expectations of people, becauseit helps you rise to them.
Speaker 2 (50:21):
It writes everything to edge, sort yeah Right, the
the internet age of information,wonderful.
Can get more informationquicker than ever before.
Can also get moredisinformation quicker than ever
before, that's right, Dr Google.
Speaker 1 (50:33):
Dr Google, for example and don't get me wrong,
I love Google, but we diagnoseourselves at home and oftentimes
we're wrong because we'reGoogling it and not getting the
right information.
But I love what you just said,the age of information, and I
heard Tony Robbins say recentlywe're in the age of information
and what we're lacking is theage of wisdom, If you think
(50:55):
about that because, it isinformation at our fingertips,
but we don't necessarily usewisdom to compliment that all
the time, and that's the part weall have to focus in on, if you
ask me.
Speaker 2 (51:08):
Well, we have AI now.
Why do you need to think at all?
Speaker 1 (51:10):
Well, there you go, there you go, so good transition
.
We've heard a lot about yourlife philosophies.
Is there anything, scott, onyour on your bucket list?
Still, I'm sure there is what'son there.
Speaker 2 (51:23):
It's funny, I don't really my I would have to say
doing great trips and adventureswith the family.
Yeah, you know, that's it we.
We just came off.
My father all came up for theweek.
We had an incredible experience.
We got together with 44 ofDebbie's cousins out in Matatuck
and I love each.
(51:44):
This is the second year we'vedone this and what's great is
each year that someone comesthat I never met.
Speaker 1 (51:50):
Really, and I walked up to a guy who's like.
Speaker 2 (51:53):
I don't even know who this is Like.
Hi, I'm Scott, and it turns outit's one of Debbie's cousins
who I never met, sons that justmoved back from Florida, and
it's just an amazing experienceto come together with family.
Speaker 1 (52:04):
Yeah.
I think it's great that's a bigfamily.
Speaker 2 (52:07):
Yeah, she's well one of her cousins of 10 kids.
Speaker 1 (52:10):
Okay, just so you know, I have two cousins.
Just to put it in perspective,I literally have two.
So I love hearing this.
I have four.
Speaker 2 (52:17):
I have to come to a cousin party you have four, I
have four.
Speaker 1 (52:20):
All right, we'll come to one of your cousin party.
So as we kind of like wrap uphere a little bit, you know,
before we do, just a couple oflittle fun questions.
If you were a superhero, whowould you be?
Oh, I know I have to throw azinger out there.
Speaker 2 (52:36):
Is there a superhero that can get through the buffet
table quicker than any superhero?
I'd be that one.
Speaker 1 (52:41):
That's you, you know it's funny I was.
Speaker 2 (52:43):
I had this conversation and one came to
mind, okay, and I forgot who itwas, the guy that can stretch a
lot.
Speaker 1 (52:51):
Oh, mr, is that elastic Elastic?
Speaker 2 (52:53):
I like being flexible .
Oh, so there was somethingabout that.
And then the, the flash theflash.
I like getting stuff done quickOkay.
Speaker 1 (53:03):
All right, but these are just fun questions to me.
Speaker 2 (53:05):
I want to be the superhero that my kids look at
and think I'm a hero.
Speaker 1 (53:08):
They do, and you know what, scott, that's the perfect
you know like to encapsulatethis conversation.
I know that they do.
Speaker 2 (53:15):
So we do a program through Rotary.
I'm with the Smithtown Rotary.
One of the programs we do formany years is give don't
dictionaries to every singlethird grader in the school
district and we talk a lot aboutdifferent definitions.
And one of the things we talkedabout was heroes and and what's
the definition of a hero?
And I think too often we thinka hero wears a cape, right.
So we drill down and the kidssay, well, a hero makes things
(53:39):
better.
You know, a hero helps peopleand we ask, okay, who in this
room is a hero?
And they think about it.
And our teachers, those areheroes.
So I want to be that superherothat makes a difference without
a cape, unless it's duringHalloween, then we wear capes.
We're all kinds of crazy things.
Speaker 1 (53:57):
I love it.
Well, I'm, you know.
If you haven't been told lately, I'll be here to say you
definitely make a difference,I've got, thank you.
I've got the list of all thethings that you do for all these
incredible charities, and sothank you for all that you do.
I'm definitely going to postsome of this as we, when we post
the episode, but even an elf atthe annual Angela's house
holiday party.
I know that you've done that aswell, too.
(54:19):
Is there anything else thatI've missed that you'd want to
share with everybody?
Speaker 2 (54:23):
Can I touch on that a little bit Please?
So Angela's house is awonderful, wonderful
organization run by BobHelicastro, where they care for
medically fragile, terminallyill children and Bob does this
incredible thing where he hasthe entire IBEW Hall, ibew union
hall in Hopog.
(54:44):
They do a two day party andthey bring the kids in and and I
always struggle getting peopleto volunteer because it's it's
tough and emotional A lot ofthese kids are in rather fragile
situations.
But what's amazing to me is thespirit of those kids.
So they're, they're, they comein wheelchairs a lot of them,
and we're, we're trying to, youknow, have a great day for them
(55:06):
and their siblings, but theattitude and the positive energy
that comes from them.
And then I go usually fromthere to a tree, a tree lighting
in town, where a lot of youngkids are, and I'm troubled
sometimes because some of thosekids aren't nearly as happy as
the kids that we see throughAngela's house.
(55:27):
So we take so much for granted.
Speaker 1 (55:30):
We do.
Speaker 2 (55:31):
And that's where volunteering for things like
that can kind of help resetpeople's expectations.
Speaker 1 (55:36):
I love that.
Is there any?
Could you share any words ofadvice for people that have
thought about volunteering butdon't know how to get started,
like I've had people ask mebecause I've done a few things
myself.
Well, what can I do?
Call yeah.
Speaker 2 (55:49):
Pick a pick.
There are so many organizationsout there.
Pick one that you're interestedin ask people and then call
them, say I would love to help.
What do you need?
Speaker 1 (55:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (55:59):
You know, show up.
Speaker 1 (56:01):
That would be great going into this holiday season
as another plug for everybody tojust let's.
Let's you know if you'relistening out there and you've
thought about volunteering, pickup the phone before
Thanksgiving and try and justoffer your services.
What can you do for four hours?
Speaker 2 (56:16):
So here's a simple rule we try to live by in our
house, and it's a question whatif everyone what if everyone?
What if everyone and I'll picka behavior what if everyone
threw their Hammogurrapper outof their car window?
Well, that wouldn't be good, no.
What if everyone picked up awrapper?
What if everyone volunteered todo something?
What if every?
So you know, that question cancan kind of direct you in a lot
(56:40):
of ways to well, how can I makethat?
Speaker 1 (56:42):
If you want to make a positive, impactful difference,
okay, that is something I'mtaking away from today and I'm
going to apply that to my lifetomorrow.
I'm not kidding.
So, everybody, what if everyonestart your day with that
question or put it somewhere inyour day and and follow it up
with a really good question, andmaybe we can all do that for
(57:03):
ourselves to make a difference?
Speaker 2 (57:05):
And here's the secret yeah, the more you give, the
more you get.
Speaker 1 (57:10):
Yes, can you tell a little bit more about that?
Speaker 2 (57:14):
Well, it's like anything else.
It's like investing the moreyou put into it, the more you
get out of it.
With giving it's so spirituallyfulfilling and then you get to
see it make a positive impact.
It can't not make you a happier, better person and more
appreciative of what you have.
It makes you focus on what youhave instead of what don't I
(57:39):
have.
Speaker 1 (57:39):
I love it.
That is a perfect way to wrapup this conversation, scott.
Thank you so much.
As we go into this holidayseason I hope everybody and I
know it's October, but thecoming months there's a lot of
holidays coming up and thinkabout that Like the more you
give, the more you get in returnand the better you feel and the
more appreciative you are ofwhat you have.
Speaker 2 (58:01):
And I'm going to make a promise to all of your
viewers that I'm sure numberfive will be better.
Hang in there.
We made it through.
Jump the shark.
Speaker 1 (58:08):
This is not jump the shark.
I actually had a lot of fun.
I know it's funny too because,knowing you as a friend, here we
are in like a seriousenvironment, but I can't thank
you enough for doing this withme tonight.
Speaker 2 (58:18):
My pleasure.
Speaker 1 (58:19):
Thanks for having me, you're the best, all right.
Speaker 2 (58:21):
You are.
Speaker 1 (58:22):
Talk to you soon, you got it.
Thanks, everybody, peace out.
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Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
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