November 5, 2025 • 17 mins
If you’ve ever been the one everyone counts on, the one who “can make it work” no matter what, this episode will hit home.
In this solo episode, Jessica Cumming, Executive Life Strategist and host of We Are Women, Unapologetically, opens up about what happens when capacity becomes expectation and strength turns into silent exhaustion.
From balancing caregiving with a full-time career to confronting the invisible load that so many women carry behind closed doors, Jessica unpacks the quiet cost of being the strong one for too long and the freedom that begins when you finally put something down.
🔹 Inside This Episode:
The invisible load: how “being capable” quietly becomes your identity
The kitchen call: the moment Jessica realized strength without support isn’t sustainable
Why hinting for help keeps you stuck — and how to finally ask for what you need
The truth about boundaries and what they really protect
How to know when your capacity has turned into expectation
What “done imperfectly” by others can teach you about peace, not performance
“They called me lucky because I could work remote.
But what they didn’t realize was that flexibility became the reason I did everything.”
— Jessica Cumming
Jessica Cumming is an Executive Life Strategist, speaker, and host of We Are Women, Unapologetically. She helps high-achieving professionals reclaim clarity, rebuild after transition, and rise without burnout or apology.
📍 Connect with Jessica on LinkedIn
📥Book a Clarity Call
📄 Download the Official Transcript Here
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Welcome to We Are Women Unapologetically, the podcast
that talks about the good, bad, ugly and awesome careers, life,
transitions, confidence, and everything in between.
Because shift happens, but you don't have to do it alone.
I cannot tell you the amount of times they called me lucky.
(00:21):
They called me lucky because I can work remote and I have
flexibility. And in their mind, that meant
that I can be the one to take itall on.
And at first, I thought they were right.
I thought, yeah, I can do this. I can make it work.
But what I didn't realize at that time is that flexibility
would become the reason I did everything.
If you've ever been the one withthe most availability, the one
(00:43):
who can make it work, the one who everyone assumes has it
handled, this is the one for you.
I am Jessica Cumming, and this is We are women
unapologetically. Today we are talking about what
happens when capacity becomes expectations, but more
importantly how to put down whatwas never yours to carry alone
(01:04):
in the 1st place. Because everyone thinks that
you're handling it, They think that you have it all together.
But the reality, you are smilingin meetings, you are saying I'm
fine, you're barely sleeping andyou are one more thing away from
breaking. But nobody sees that part.
They don't see it because you have gotten really damn good at
(01:28):
looking fine while everything inside you is held together by
sheer will. And the reason people think that
you can handle it is because youkeep handling it.
So they add more and you take it, and the cycle keeps going
until something has to give. That's where this story goes.
(01:48):
Not to the breaking, but to the moment I finally learned to put
something down and how you can do the same.
For me, it started in November of 2020.
I flew to Wisconsin for what wassupposed to be a routine two
week trip over Thanksgiving. But that quickly changed because
the day after Thanksgiving we found out that my grandmother
had COVID. Those two weeks turned into six
(02:10):
weeks. Six weeks turned into 13 months.
I practically moved into my auntand uncle's house.
My bedroom was doubling as my office for the majority of the
time and during the winter it was wonderful.
My aunt and I got to bond. We tagged taking care of my
grandma and it was manageable. And then in the spring she had
to go back to work and overnightI became a full time caregiver
(02:35):
and a full time professional. If grandma needed to eat, it was
me. If she needed help in the
bathroom, it was me. If a meeting popped up on teens,
it was also me. Work didn't stop, life didn't
pause, and I just kept going. Now, you may already know this,
but caregiving is so much more than just scheduling
(02:56):
appointments and cooking meals. It's intimate.
I am talking about incontinence devices, changing soiled sheets
and being there for moments thatstrip away any form of dignity
for the both of you. And I did it.
I did it because she needed me. But I also never stopped to ask
myself who do I need right now? There was 1 morning that I will
(03:21):
never forget. I just finished getting
grandma's breakfast together. My hair was still in a mess, I
hadn't even touched my coffee. And my boss pings me.
Hey, can you jump on the senior leadership call I need you to
present. I did.
Standing in the middle of the kitchen, pacing back and forth,
discussing metrics. I didn't even show my face on
camera, and that was pretty unusual.
(03:43):
But I delivered the updates likeI was sitting at a desk
somewhere. But the reality is that I was in
someone else's kitchen, in sweatpants, one more ask away
from completely falling apart. And nobody knew.
Nobody knew because I didn't tell them.
I thought that that's what beingprofessional looked like.
(04:04):
It turns out what it really was is what unsustainable looks like
when you dress it up and you putit on camera.
And maybe your version of that moment isn't the kitchen call.
Maybe it's answering Slack messages at 10:00 PM because you
work remote and nobody sees it. You're off.
Maybe it's being a friend that everyone calls in crisis but
nobody checks in on. Maybe it's running your business
(04:26):
solo because delegating feels harder than just doing it
yourself. Different scenarios, same
pattern. You are carrying a load that
nobody sees and performing like you're not.
A few weeks later, I called my dad.
I was tired, I was unhappy, I was crying, and I honestly
didn't know how much longer I could do it.
He said something that I wasn't expecting.
(04:47):
He said, Jessica, this isn't your responsibility.
And that hit me like a truck. It was relief, realization, and
guilt all at the same time. Because he was right.
But I still felt like if I stopped, I would be abandoning
her. About a week or two later, my
aunts and I started looking for caregivers, people who could
(05:08):
come in two to three times a day.
And I thought, OK, now I will beable to breathe.
But first I had to train them. I had to show them how my
grandma liked things done because she was pretty
particular. Then I had to watch them take
over tasks that I had been doingfor months.
Then I had to make the decision to leave, not the state, just
(05:28):
the house. Because if I stayed, I knew that
not only would I be asked a million questions, but I would
just want to take over because Icould do it faster or the way
that she wanted it. So instead, I would go pick up
her meds, go check the meal, or honestly, just drive around
aimlessly for 20 to 30 minutes. And in those moments, that
became the time that I could breathe.
(05:50):
That was when I realized lettingin help, even when it feels
uncomfortable might just be the thing that saves you.
I also started reaching out to family.
Hey, maybe you could come spend some time with Grandma this
weekend. Polite, hopeful, not desperate.
Sometimes they came, but the majority of the time they said
(06:10):
they would, they didn't. She would miss her nap time
waiting for something that neverarrived and it took me months to
realize grandma would love to see you is not the same as I
need a break can you come? One is the suggestion, the other
is a boundary and I spent monthssuggesting when what I needed to
(06:33):
do was ask. What I didn't realize at the
time is that I watched my aunt go through this very same thing
11 months in Texas before I evenstepped into this role.
I heard her, did not understand.Now I have a different
understanding. Now I realize that hinting
(06:54):
doesn't protect your capacity, it just keeps you stuck hoping
someone will notice eventually. I made the hardest choice in
December of 2021. After 13 months, I left.
The caregivers were there, they had a routine in place, my aunt
was home for the winter and grandma was stable.
And quite honestly, I was absolutely done.
(07:16):
So I went back to Texas and I felt it all the relief that I
was out, the guilt that I left, the fear that I had failed them.
But also there was this. I knew that if I didn't leave, I
wasn't going to survive. And I had to choose because
leaving wasn't abandoning my grandma.
It was the only way that I couldkeep loving her without losing
(07:39):
myself completely. And after I left, the three of
us, myself, my aunt in Wisconsin, and my Aunt Paula, we
became A-Team. We talked, we figured out what
was best, and we supported one another.
And during that time, we realized something is that when
you are in it every single day, you don't see the small changes.
(07:59):
But when one of us would take a step back, we would notice the
things that the other one would miss.
Behavior shifts, confusion, signs.
That something was often for my grandma, that meant signs of a
UTI. We had to work together to care
for her. And in that process we formed a
bond that only exists between people who have carried that
(08:22):
weight. I still manage appointments from
Texas. I still stayed involved, but I
wasn't in it the way that I had been.
And I need to let you know that that distance and let me show up
better than I could when I was drowning.
In July of 2024, my grandmother passed.
(08:42):
It was two days after her 94th birthday.
It was on my Aunt Sue's birthday.
And although I wasn't there, I was the last one to talk to her.
I was the last one to say I loveyou.
Maybe your version isn't caregiving.
But before we move past that, I want to let you know something.
Over 63,000,000 Americans are caregivers.
(09:05):
Most of them are women, and mostare doing it while also working
full time, raising kids, managing households, showing up
like everything is fine and nobody sees it.
Because caregiving, like so manyforms of invisible labor, they
don't show up on your calendar. It doesn't get performance
reviews. Nobody asks you how you are
(09:27):
holding up. They just assume you have it.
But here's the thing. That same dynamic, the one where
you're carrying weight that nobody sees, It doesn't just
show up in caregiving. Maybe you work remote, which
means you're available, so people e-mail you on weekends
and expect you to hop on your call and eat your lunch at the
same time. And because you can respond,
(09:48):
they assume you will. And you do, because saying no
feels like letting people down. Or maybe you're the reliable
friend, the one that everyone calls when things fall apart.
The one who listens, who holds space, who shows up.
But when you're struggling, you don't call anyone because you're
supposed to be the strong one. Or maybe you're a mom and you're
(10:10):
managing the school schedules, the meal planning, the emotional
regulation for everyone in the house, including yourself.
But nobody asks you if you need help.
They just assume that you have it all handled.
Or maybe you run your own business and you're doing the
strategy, the marketing, the client mark, the admin, the
books. Because delegating feels harder
(10:33):
than just doing it yourself, andon paper you're successful, but
in reality you are exhausted. Different scenarios, same
pattern. You're carrying a load that
nobody sees and the weight that you're holding, that invisible
load, it's not just what you aredoing, it's what you're carrying
(10:54):
emotionally while still pretending that you don't need
support. It's showing up to meetings like
everything is normal. It's being the person that
everyone assumes has it handled is saying it would be great if
you could help when what you really truly mean is I can't do
this alone anymore. Nobody hears the difference
(11:16):
because you don't say the difference.
And the cost of that, the cost of not naming what you need,
it's not just exhaustion, it is losing yourself in the process.
So what actually helps? Not in theory, but in real life,
when people are counting on you and you don't want to let them
(11:36):
down, you have to name what you're hearing.
Not to complain, but to make invisible.
I honestly did not realize exactly how much I was doing
until I started saying it out loud, until I started training
those caregivers and they stepped in.
Was it perfect? No, but they stepped in.
I had already looked like I had it all handled, but the moment
(11:58):
that I explained to them that I needed help, not it would be
nice if not whenever you have time, but I need help.
Can you do this? Clear, direct, specific.
That is when you get the help that you need.
It's not being demanding. It is about being honest about
(12:19):
your capacity. And most people, they will show
up, but only if you tell them what you need because they can't
read your mind, they can't notice when you're drowning.
If you keep showing up like you are, absolutely fine.
You have to let people help, even if it's imperfect.
And that was actually the hardest part for me.
(12:39):
Because when you are used to doing things a certain way, and
when you have a grandmother who wants things done a certain way,
watching someone else do it differently feels wrong.
But I'm here to tell you that done imperfectly by someone else
is way better that having it done perfectly by you if doing
it perfectly by you is costing you your peace.
(13:01):
Again, the caregivers didn't do things the way that I did, and
that was OK because the goal wasn't perfect.
The goal was sustainability. And sometimes you have to step
back. Not forever, not dramatically,
but stepping back before you break is not the same as giving
up. It is choosing to survive and
(13:24):
sometimes the most loving thing that you can do for everyone
involved, whether it be your family, your team, your friends,
is step back because you cannot pour from an empty cup and
pretending that you're not empty.
It doesn't make you full, it makes you invisible.
So how do you know when you're approaching your limit?
(13:44):
Because most of us don't even realize until we've already
passed it. Watch for this when rest stops
feeling restful. When you can't remember the last
time you did something just for you.
When asking for help feels harder than just doing it
yourself. When you are more worried about
disappointing others than you are about depleting yourself.
(14:06):
When you're performing competence while you are
collapsing inside. Those are not signs that you are
weak. There are signs that you are
human, and ignoring them doesn'tmake you stronger.
It makes the eventual breaking point harder.
Your capacity is not limitless. Just because you are capable
being able to do something doesn't mean you should keep
(14:28):
doing it alone. And boundaries aren't about
saying no to everything. They are about protecting your
ability to say yes to the thingsthat truly matter.
The boundaries that I built, letting caregivers in, asking
for my dad's perspective, and eventually leaving, those were
not failure. They were the things that let me
keep loving my grandmother without losing myself in the
(14:50):
process. Here's what I want you to do
this week for your clarity Reset.
Take 10 minutes and either grab a notebook or just think about
everything that you're currentlycarrying.
Work responsibilities, family expectations, emotional labor,
all of it. Then think about our circle, The
things that are actually yours to carry alone.
(15:13):
Not what you're good at, not what people expect, but what's
genuinely yours to carry. Everything else.
That's where your boundaries need to go.
Pick one thing from that list, and this week ask for help with
it directly. Not if you get a chance.
(15:33):
But I need you to do this. And if you need help getting
clear on what's yours to carry and what you've been holding
because no one else will, book afree Clarity call with me.
We'll talk through what's going on, see if we're fit to work
together, and figure out what your next step is.
The link is in the show notes. And I need to tell you that I
still think about that kitchen call sometimes, standing there
(15:55):
in sweatpants, discussing metrics like I had it all
together. And I truly wonder what would
have happened if I just told thetruth.
I can't do this right now. I'm in the middle of caregiving.
I need support. Maybe nothing would have
changed, but maybe it would have.
Because the moment I started telling the truth to my dad, to
my family, to my boss, but more importantly myself, that is when
(16:19):
things started to shift. Not perfectly, not all at once,
but slowly. An interaction of something that
I could sustain. So if you're in the middle of
caring too much, if you were holding it all together and
wondering how much longer you can, you don't have to wait
until you break to ask for help.You don't have to earn the right
(16:43):
to step back. And protecting your peace
doesn't make you selfish. It makes you sustainable.
So put one thing down this week and ask for help directly.
And if you need support figuringout what that looks like, book
that free clarity call. Because boundaries aren't about
closing yourself off, they are about protecting your ability to
(17:05):
keep showing up for what actually matters.
If this resonated with you, please like share it with a
friend that needs to hear this message.
And until next week, stay fierce, Stay bold, but most
importantly, stay unapologetically you.
Welcome to We Are Women Unapologetically, the podcast
that talks about the good, bad, ugly and awesome careers, life,
transitions, confidence, and everything in between.
Because shift happens, but you don't have to do it alone.
I cannot tell you the amount of times they called me lucky.
(00:21):
They called me lucky because I can work remote and I have
flexibility. And in their mind, that meant
that I can be the one to take itall on.
And at first, I thought they were right.
I thought, yeah, I can do this. I can make it work.
But what I didn't realize at that time is that flexibility
would become the reason I did everything.
If you've ever been the one withthe most availability, the one
(00:43):
who can make it work, the one who everyone assumes has it
handled, this is the one for you.
I am Jessica Cumming, and this is We are women
unapologetically. Today we are talking about what
happens when capacity becomes expectations, but more
importantly how to put down whatwas never yours to carry alone
(01:04):
in the 1st place. Because everyone thinks that
you're handling it, They think that you have it all together.
But the reality, you are smilingin meetings, you are saying I'm
fine, you're barely sleeping andyou are one more thing away from
breaking. But nobody sees that part.
They don't see it because you have gotten really damn good at
(01:28):
looking fine while everything inside you is held together by
sheer will. And the reason people think that
you can handle it is because youkeep handling it.
So they add more and you take it, and the cycle keeps going
until something has to give. That's where this story goes.
(01:48):
Not to the breaking, but to the moment I finally learned to put
something down and how you can do the same.
For me, it started in November of 2020.
I flew to Wisconsin for what wassupposed to be a routine two
week trip over Thanksgiving. But that quickly changed because
the day after Thanksgiving we found out that my grandmother
had COVID. Those two weeks turned into six
(02:10):
weeks. Six weeks turned into 13 months.
I practically moved into my auntand uncle's house.
My bedroom was doubling as my office for the majority of the
time and during the winter it was wonderful.
My aunt and I got to bond. We tagged taking care of my
grandma and it was manageable. And then in the spring she had
to go back to work and overnightI became a full time caregiver
(02:35):
and a full time professional. If grandma needed to eat, it was
me. If she needed help in the
bathroom, it was me. If a meeting popped up on teens,
it was also me. Work didn't stop, life didn't
pause, and I just kept going. Now, you may already know this,
but caregiving is so much more than just scheduling
(02:56):
appointments and cooking meals. It's intimate.
I am talking about incontinence devices, changing soiled sheets
and being there for moments thatstrip away any form of dignity
for the both of you. And I did it.
I did it because she needed me. But I also never stopped to ask
myself who do I need right now? There was 1 morning that I will
(03:21):
never forget. I just finished getting
grandma's breakfast together. My hair was still in a mess, I
hadn't even touched my coffee. And my boss pings me.
Hey, can you jump on the senior leadership call I need you to
present. I did.
Standing in the middle of the kitchen, pacing back and forth,
discussing metrics. I didn't even show my face on
camera, and that was pretty unusual.
(03:43):
But I delivered the updates likeI was sitting at a desk
somewhere. But the reality is that I was in
someone else's kitchen, in sweatpants, one more ask away
from completely falling apart. And nobody knew.
Nobody knew because I didn't tell them.
I thought that that's what beingprofessional looked like.
(04:04):
It turns out what it really was is what unsustainable looks like
when you dress it up and you putit on camera.
And maybe your version of that moment isn't the kitchen call.
Maybe it's answering Slack messages at 10:00 PM because you
work remote and nobody sees it. You're off.
Maybe it's being a friend that everyone calls in crisis but
nobody checks in on. Maybe it's running your business
(04:26):
solo because delegating feels harder than just doing it
yourself. Different scenarios, same
pattern. You are carrying a load that
nobody sees and performing like you're not.
A few weeks later, I called my dad.
I was tired, I was unhappy, I was crying, and I honestly
didn't know how much longer I could do it.
He said something that I wasn't expecting.
(04:47):
He said, Jessica, this isn't your responsibility.
And that hit me like a truck. It was relief, realization, and
guilt all at the same time. Because he was right.
But I still felt like if I stopped, I would be abandoning
her. About a week or two later, my
aunts and I started looking for caregivers, people who could
(05:08):
come in two to three times a day.
And I thought, OK, now I will beable to breathe.
But first I had to train them. I had to show them how my
grandma liked things done because she was pretty
particular. Then I had to watch them take
over tasks that I had been doingfor months.
Then I had to make the decision to leave, not the state, just
(05:28):
the house. Because if I stayed, I knew that
not only would I be asked a million questions, but I would
just want to take over because Icould do it faster or the way
that she wanted it. So instead, I would go pick up
her meds, go check the meal, or honestly, just drive around
aimlessly for 20 to 30 minutes. And in those moments, that
became the time that I could breathe.
(05:50):
That was when I realized lettingin help, even when it feels
uncomfortable might just be the thing that saves you.
I also started reaching out to family.
Hey, maybe you could come spend some time with Grandma this
weekend. Polite, hopeful, not desperate.
Sometimes they came, but the majority of the time they said
(06:10):
they would, they didn't. She would miss her nap time
waiting for something that neverarrived and it took me months to
realize grandma would love to see you is not the same as I
need a break can you come? One is the suggestion, the other
is a boundary and I spent monthssuggesting when what I needed to
(06:33):
do was ask. What I didn't realize at the
time is that I watched my aunt go through this very same thing
11 months in Texas before I evenstepped into this role.
I heard her, did not understand.Now I have a different
understanding. Now I realize that hinting
(06:54):
doesn't protect your capacity, it just keeps you stuck hoping
someone will notice eventually. I made the hardest choice in
December of 2021. After 13 months, I left.
The caregivers were there, they had a routine in place, my aunt
was home for the winter and grandma was stable.
And quite honestly, I was absolutely done.
(07:16):
So I went back to Texas and I felt it all the relief that I
was out, the guilt that I left, the fear that I had failed them.
But also there was this. I knew that if I didn't leave, I
wasn't going to survive. And I had to choose because
leaving wasn't abandoning my grandma.
It was the only way that I couldkeep loving her without losing
(07:39):
myself completely. And after I left, the three of
us, myself, my aunt in Wisconsin, and my Aunt Paula, we
became A-Team. We talked, we figured out what
was best, and we supported one another.
And during that time, we realized something is that when
you are in it every single day, you don't see the small changes.
(07:59):
But when one of us would take a step back, we would notice the
things that the other one would miss.
Behavior shifts, confusion, signs.
That something was often for my grandma, that meant signs of a
UTI. We had to work together to care
for her. And in that process we formed a
bond that only exists between people who have carried that
(08:22):
weight. I still manage appointments from
Texas. I still stayed involved, but I
wasn't in it the way that I had been.
And I need to let you know that that distance and let me show up
better than I could when I was drowning.
In July of 2024, my grandmother passed.
(08:42):
It was two days after her 94th birthday.
It was on my Aunt Sue's birthday.
And although I wasn't there, I was the last one to talk to her.
I was the last one to say I loveyou.
Maybe your version isn't caregiving.
But before we move past that, I want to let you know something.
Over 63,000,000 Americans are caregivers.
(09:05):
Most of them are women, and mostare doing it while also working
full time, raising kids, managing households, showing up
like everything is fine and nobody sees it.
Because caregiving, like so manyforms of invisible labor, they
don't show up on your calendar. It doesn't get performance
reviews. Nobody asks you how you are
(09:27):
holding up. They just assume you have it.
But here's the thing. That same dynamic, the one where
you're carrying weight that nobody sees, It doesn't just
show up in caregiving. Maybe you work remote, which
means you're available, so people e-mail you on weekends
and expect you to hop on your call and eat your lunch at the
same time. And because you can respond,
(09:48):
they assume you will. And you do, because saying no
feels like letting people down. Or maybe you're the reliable
friend, the one that everyone calls when things fall apart.
The one who listens, who holds space, who shows up.
But when you're struggling, you don't call anyone because you're
supposed to be the strong one. Or maybe you're a mom and you're
(10:10):
managing the school schedules, the meal planning, the emotional
regulation for everyone in the house, including yourself.
But nobody asks you if you need help.
They just assume that you have it all handled.
Or maybe you run your own business and you're doing the
strategy, the marketing, the client mark, the admin, the
books. Because delegating feels harder
(10:33):
than just doing it yourself, andon paper you're successful, but
in reality you are exhausted. Different scenarios, same
pattern. You're carrying a load that
nobody sees and the weight that you're holding, that invisible
load, it's not just what you aredoing, it's what you're carrying
(10:54):
emotionally while still pretending that you don't need
support. It's showing up to meetings like
everything is normal. It's being the person that
everyone assumes has it handled is saying it would be great if
you could help when what you really truly mean is I can't do
this alone anymore. Nobody hears the difference
(11:16):
because you don't say the difference.
And the cost of that, the cost of not naming what you need,
it's not just exhaustion, it is losing yourself in the process.
So what actually helps? Not in theory, but in real life,
when people are counting on you and you don't want to let them
(11:36):
down, you have to name what you're hearing.
Not to complain, but to make invisible.
I honestly did not realize exactly how much I was doing
until I started saying it out loud, until I started training
those caregivers and they stepped in.
Was it perfect? No, but they stepped in.
I had already looked like I had it all handled, but the moment
(11:58):
that I explained to them that I needed help, not it would be
nice if not whenever you have time, but I need help.
Can you do this? Clear, direct, specific.
That is when you get the help that you need.
It's not being demanding. It is about being honest about
(12:19):
your capacity. And most people, they will show
up, but only if you tell them what you need because they can't
read your mind, they can't notice when you're drowning.
If you keep showing up like you are, absolutely fine.
You have to let people help, even if it's imperfect.
And that was actually the hardest part for me.
(12:39):
Because when you are used to doing things a certain way, and
when you have a grandmother who wants things done a certain way,
watching someone else do it differently feels wrong.
But I'm here to tell you that done imperfectly by someone else
is way better that having it done perfectly by you if doing
it perfectly by you is costing you your peace.
(13:01):
Again, the caregivers didn't do things the way that I did, and
that was OK because the goal wasn't perfect.
The goal was sustainability. And sometimes you have to step
back. Not forever, not dramatically,
but stepping back before you break is not the same as giving
up. It is choosing to survive and
(13:24):
sometimes the most loving thing that you can do for everyone
involved, whether it be your family, your team, your friends,
is step back because you cannot pour from an empty cup and
pretending that you're not empty.
It doesn't make you full, it makes you invisible.
So how do you know when you're approaching your limit?
(13:44):
Because most of us don't even realize until we've already
passed it. Watch for this when rest stops
feeling restful. When you can't remember the last
time you did something just for you.
When asking for help feels harder than just doing it
yourself. When you are more worried about
disappointing others than you are about depleting yourself.
(14:06):
When you're performing competence while you are
collapsing inside. Those are not signs that you are
weak. There are signs that you are
human, and ignoring them doesn'tmake you stronger.
It makes the eventual breaking point harder.
Your capacity is not limitless. Just because you are capable
being able to do something doesn't mean you should keep
(14:28):
doing it alone. And boundaries aren't about
saying no to everything. They are about protecting your
ability to say yes to the thingsthat truly matter.
The boundaries that I built, letting caregivers in, asking
for my dad's perspective, and eventually leaving, those were
not failure. They were the things that let me
keep loving my grandmother without losing myself in the
(14:50):
process. Here's what I want you to do
this week for your clarity Reset.
Take 10 minutes and either grab a notebook or just think about
everything that you're currentlycarrying.
Work responsibilities, family expectations, emotional labor,
all of it. Then think about our circle, The
things that are actually yours to carry alone.
(15:13):
Not what you're good at, not what people expect, but what's
genuinely yours to carry. Everything else.
That's where your boundaries need to go.
Pick one thing from that list, and this week ask for help with
it directly. Not if you get a chance.
(15:33):
But I need you to do this. And if you need help getting
clear on what's yours to carry and what you've been holding
because no one else will, book afree Clarity call with me.
We'll talk through what's going on, see if we're fit to work
together, and figure out what your next step is.
The link is in the show notes. And I need to tell you that I
still think about that kitchen call sometimes, standing there
(15:55):
in sweatpants, discussing metrics like I had it all
together. And I truly wonder what would
have happened if I just told thetruth.
I can't do this right now. I'm in the middle of caregiving.
I need support. Maybe nothing would have
changed, but maybe it would have.
Because the moment I started telling the truth to my dad, to
my family, to my boss, but more importantly myself, that is when
(16:19):
things started to shift. Not perfectly, not all at once,
but slowly. An interaction of something that
I could sustain. So if you're in the middle of
caring too much, if you were holding it all together and
wondering how much longer you can, you don't have to wait
until you break to ask for help.You don't have to earn the right
(16:43):
to step back. And protecting your peace
doesn't make you selfish. It makes you sustainable.
So put one thing down this week and ask for help directly.
And if you need support figuringout what that looks like, book
that free clarity call. Because boundaries aren't about
closing yourself off, they are about protecting your ability to
(17:05):
keep showing up for what actually matters.
If this resonated with you, please like share it with a
friend that needs to hear this message.
And until next week, stay fierce, Stay bold, but most
importantly, stay unapologetically you.
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