January 31, 2024 • 17 mins
Waking up groggy and famished, we didn't let our late start stop us from diving into a heart-to-heart about the transformative power of morning rituals in marriage. If crafting the ideal beginning of each day sounds like a puzzle, we're here to help piece it together, sharing how these precious moments can set a harmonious tone for your relationship. Imagine your life as a carefully orchestrated magic show, where the grand finale informs every preceding act; that's how we approach our days, with purpose and connection at the forefront, just as a magician connects with their audience. By intertwining our insights with reflections on previous discussions about keeping lifelong goals within our daily grasp, we reveal how intentional mornings aren't just beneficial—they're essential.
As the sun rises, we explore the terrain of mismatched schedules and the unique challenges they present for couples striving to maintain their bond. No matter if it's through a tender wake-up kiss, a thoughtful morning text, or a heartfelt video message, we emphasize the importance of finding what resonates with your partner. And when the day winds down, it's all about resisting the siren call of technology to truly be present with one another. Sharing my own anecdote of banishing the phone from my morning routine, we hope to inspire you to make mindful choices that reinforce the bonds of marriage. So, grab your favorite mug of coffee, and join us as we unpack the secrets to starting your day with love and intention, and maybe you'll be compelled to share your own sunrise stories.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Danny Ray (00:00):
All right, so I'm just gonna say right away that
we are both hungry, so you mightget a different side of us
Normally we'd start like iteight o'clock and not gonna.
We do you know like startworking?
Kimberly (00:14):
on it.
Danny Ray (00:14):
They can't cast yeah, but we're we're starting late
today and we haven't had.
We haven't had lunch, we had anearly breakfast, so we're
hungry but we did do our typicalmorning routine.
Kimberly (00:27):
We just kind of got off track later and today we're
talking about couples and howthey do there, how we do our
Morning routine and how wouldyou just sneak a we do in there?
I think I did we do, but it it'simportant.
So last time we talked abouthaving the end in mind, and that
(00:49):
means Focusing on the marriageby looking at how do we want
this to look at the end.
You know, what do we want?
To be looking back on our lives, on our marriage together and
going, wow, we were reallyintentional in this area, in
that area, and I'm really gladthat we did this and that.
So we talked about that lasttime and and how that correlates
to how you come up with a magicshow and how you develop that.
Danny Ray (01:15):
Yeah, with the end in mind right, that's always where
I start, and even this latestshow called the waypoint is.
You know, I feel like it.
It's all my life's work in alot of way, this show, but the
first idea I had was the verylast part of the show, how you
want it to end and theexperience like what you want
(01:35):
people to kind of your thingabout how do?
I want to walk away.
Kimberly (01:39):
Yeah, with that that.
Don't want them to walk awayfeeling empowered.
Sometimes your shows are thatway.
I don't want them to walk awayfeeling like just just uplifted
and excited about life.
So I want them to walk awayjust kind of mind boggled and
going.
Danny Ray (01:55):
I don't even understand what just happened
now and in my current show thatI'm doing on the road, so not
waypoint.
It's about all these piecescoming together and.
And I think there's somethingabout when you see a complete
mess and then there's a story inthe mess of going.
Wait a minute, this was meantto be, and this was meant to be.
And I feel like, when we thinkabout our, our marriages, you
(02:19):
know, some of these pieces mightnot make sense, right?
Kimberly (02:21):
now, but if we start, to.
Danny Ray (02:23):
You know, have the end in mind, going like in the
end, I want to be a person ofcharacter.
I want to be somebody thatloves you more and is in more in
love with you.
When we end this thing, however, we go out, then when we
meaning death, not divorced.
Kimberly (02:37):
Thank you clarifying.
Thank you for clarifying.
Danny Ray (02:42):
Or you kill me off.
Kimberly (02:44):
I'm in the backyard I think I need to change your life
insurance policy but that'sanother.
For another time.
So, getting back to the point,so that's what we talked about
last time.
This time we're talking abouthow do we start each day?
Yeah, and in the parallel, withstarting a show.
Danny Ray (03:06):
Is it so important when I walk on the stage and,
let's say, there's 500 people inthe audience?
However, I start that firstfive seconds at first minute it
matters and I think it theparallel for our marriages is.
The thing I'm trying to do inthat first minute is Establish
(03:28):
connection.
Yeah and if I establishconnection, the rest of the show
just makes it so easy andsometimes it takes a minute,
sometimes it takes five minutes.
But honestly, if I don't have itin five minutes, I'm chasing
down that connection piece forthe next 20 until I get it, and
then I'm like, okay, now I couldreally start building some of
(03:48):
the things.
So let me, let me give you anexample show is when I was doing
underwater escapes.
Nobody walks out and firstthing they do is like, hey, let
me jump into a tank and, youknow, drown myself Because
nobody cares.
Like that might be interesting.
Let's see, I'm dry you knowyeah.
Is when they connect with youand they care about you and they
(04:08):
want what's best for you andyou want what's best for them
and you're doing well in termsof connecting, and then you go
underwater now, their heartsracing as your heart's racing.
So there's a connection in inour, in our daily lives.
Every day, we have thisopportunity to start new, you
know.
Kimberly (04:25):
Mm-hmm.
Danny Ray (04:26):
God says, his mercies for us are new every morning.
Oh and by the way that's whatwe would say in terms of
connection is it's connecting toGod and connecting to one
another.
So there's a vertical andthere's a horizontal, and as we
Connect with God, that sets thetone for the day, as we connect
for with one another.
That sets the tone for the daydoesn't mean everything's gonna
(04:48):
be easy, or any yeah, any ofthat, yeah, but it it less.
Lets us say, god, this is whatwe're praying for, this is what
we're asking for, as a couple,coming together and saying, hey,
I see you.
I know you have a lot on yourplate today talking about those
things and then navigating thattogether.
Kimberly (05:08):
And I want to back up to yes, we're talking about how
do you start each day, but asyou were talking about how you
start a magic show, um, it gotme thinking it actually starts
before that first moment becauseit's a plan, right?
Danny Ray (05:25):
You have, that's good yeah.
Kimberly (05:27):
You have a plan?
How am I going to connect withthis audience?
And you pay attention to theaudience, like you've read about
, uh, maybe the group or whatthey've done in the past, or if
it's a conference.
You know the theme, but I'm inthe audience right before
listening to the speaker,listening to the MC, listening
(05:47):
to the audience itself.
Danny Ray (05:49):
What conversations are they having?
If there's anything as a groupthat they've experienced or
they've done together, and Ibring that on stage.
And that could be as simple aslike mentioning something that's
funny about their hometown orit could be something that, um,
somebody said earlier andeverybody laughs because they've
already connected with thatother person I feel like.
(06:11):
I'm a part of the group, notjust.
You know, and I, I think youknow it's like you before coffee
.
You're not sure whether or notyou're against you.
Kimberly (06:20):
Right, which brings us to okay.
So we have the plan for how westart the day, and then we start
the day, um, individually inour, in our times, with
connecting to God.
Um, I will say I'm very spoiledin the way that I start most
days.
You bring me my coffee, I senda text downstairs and say I'm up
(06:42):
, or good morning, and uh, orsend a man, and I know what that
means.
Danny Ray (06:46):
You better get up here with coffee right now.
Kimberly (06:48):
Okay, it doesn't really mean that, but you have
taken it to mean that and Idon't mind.
But you bless me in that way,uh, every day that you're here,
um, and available to do that, soI'd say that's 99.9% of the
days that, uh, that you bringthe coffee and it certainly
(07:09):
blesses me and shows me that youcare and I, I love starting my
day that way.
Danny Ray (07:16):
I bet you do.
I would like to start my daythat way.
Can you give up two hoursearlier?
Kimberly (07:20):
Birthday, I'll bring you coffee.
Oh, I shouldn't say that yourbirthday is coming up, Um.
Danny Ray (07:26):
I've written that down.
On birthday coffee at 4am.
Kimberly (07:31):
No, yeah, that would be why I don't bring you coffee,
because you're such an earlywiser.
Uh, but anyway, back to the theplan.
So for us it means and, andthis isn't a right way or a
wrong way to do it, this is justhow we, uh, are familiar with
starting our, our days, and so,um, but there's a connection.
When Danny brings in the coffee, there's usually a physical
(07:55):
connection, um, are you sayingwith the dogs when they jump all
over you?
Well, definitely that the dogscome in.
They do literally jump all overme and uh, after I pet them
I'll say hi to you and uh, um,but there's a good morning.
Danny Ray (08:10):
So I'm second to the dogs.
Kimberly (08:12):
Okay, let's not make this something it doesn't need
to be, uh, but there's, there'sa, an intentional good morning
kiss.
How's your morning going so far?
What, if we have time or if wehaven't done this before, we'll
ask what, uh, you know, whathave you got going today?
Um, and, and it's yeah, thatmorning connection, just like
(08:33):
you being aware and connectingwith your audience, uh, as a
speaker, as a, as a magician, asa pastor.
Same thing goes for us on thedaily, in our marriages.
Danny Ray (08:43):
What would you say if somebody is like that would be
great, but our days are justcompletely off.
Kimberly (08:50):
Like you, know um someone's working nights or
she's out the door before I'mthere.
Danny Ray (08:55):
they're working nights.
Yeah, Um, what would you say?
Um, yeah, that's a good point.
Kimberly (09:00):
And not everybody's schedule looks like ours, that's
for sure.
Um, and actually I want to comeback to that in a minute on the
days where you're not just herein the morning but you're on
the road, so we'll come back tothat in a second.
But for couples where theschedule is, you know, bizarre,
or it's somebody's workingnights or, yeah, they're not
(09:21):
waking up, even around the sametime frame, but still, what can
you do to be intentional?
Do you text and go, hey, I'm up, I'm starting the day, or like,
would you prefer that somebodyone of them comes in and
whoever's leaving for the dayfirst, would you like a morning
(09:42):
kiss that they're, as they'rewalking out the door and come,
you know, kiss you in bed andsay good morning and you roll
back over and go to sleep.
Or maybe you would hate that.
So you know, you have to workout what.
Danny Ray (09:54):
And I know that's what you do for me.
That became important, and whenI, when I'm flying out, is you
want me to wake you up, praywith you, say bye, give you a
kiss and and head out?
Yeah?
Kimberly (10:06):
So that's what it looks like on those days yeah
that I was going to come back tothank you that, on those days
where, yeah, you're, you'rehitting the road, you're
traveling and you're leaving thehouse at 3am.
Danny Ray (10:16):
Right.
Kimberly (10:17):
And for me, yes, I still want that connection, but
that's because I can also rollover and go back to bed after
you kiss me pray and you're outthe door.
So, yeah, you have to workwithin the.
You know what works for the twoof you, the point being be
(10:37):
intentional, though.
Danny Ray (10:37):
right, how can you connect whatever time it is that
you're going or coming in themorning, waking up or so a great
question to ask, if you'relistening to this as a couple,
or to ask your, your spouse orsignificant other is is this
what's the best way to connectwith you in the morning?
Kimberly (11:01):
Yeah, great way to put it.
Danny Ray (11:04):
Like I could be helpful or hear you, or because
like I'll take on the other sideof this at the end of your day.
Sometimes you don't want like,hey, how can we connect right
now?
You want space usually 3045minutes of just like downtime to
unwind.
(11:24):
What do you call?
Kimberly (11:24):
it For some people.
Oh yeah, for me washing up work.
Danny Ray (11:28):
And.
But same thing with the morningis everybody is different this
way, but as a, as a couple, howdo you figure out what's the
best way to connect so you couldstart every day on the same
page?
Kimberly (11:40):
Yeah, and that's even true for couples dating long
distance, or you know what doyou?
How can we connect?
It's really, but everybody'spreferences or what they're able
to do is different, so havingthat conversation is what's
really key.
Danny Ray (11:59):
Yeah, I know, for us we haven't done a lot of
FaceTime, but I know a lot ofpeople that are on the road that
I talk to that are eithercomedians or other magicians or
speakers.
They do a lot of FaceTime backhome.
You know.
It's a very interesting way tobe able to connect, I think
because our pattern startedbefore that was a thing.
Kimberly (12:19):
20 years ago.
That makes sense, yeah.
Danny Ray (12:22):
And that didn't you know.
We didn't start out that way,yeah.
But this year I've made somechanges where I'm not doing a
FaceTime but I'm trying tocreate videos on the road just
for my family, for and a coupleof close friends, of just
sending a quick one minute videolike hey, think it about you
and saying something.
But for me I did it one timeand it was for my daughter and
(12:46):
she just really felt like lovedand I just needed that right now
.
And that was just kind of okay.
I'm gonna try to do that thisyear.
So, maybe it's starting a newhabit of going like what would
help you to feel connected?
Oh, bringing cup of coffee,I'll take that, and that's the
way you could serve and show.
Kimberly (13:05):
I like the video thing for sure, and so maybe for
those couples, like we weresaying that their schedules are
not the same, and yeah, you canleave.
I know, there's Marco Polo,there's different things where
you can leave a yeah, differentapps for messages, but you can
do it, record a video Howeveryou wanna do it.
Just the point being, that hasbeen a nice thing for me too,
(13:31):
when you're sending those, andfor me, what I like about that
is that it's not FaceTime, it'snot where I have to do it, right
then I have the choice ofopening it when it suits me,
when I have time, when I'm donewith my day at work, I can look
and go okay, danny's left me avideo message, and it does feel
(13:54):
more connected because I see you.
Even though it's a video, I'mseeing the surroundings where
you were at, and yeah, so that'sa great way.
Danny Ray (14:06):
You mentioned the phone and we've talked about
this kind of at different timesthroughout this podcast, but the
phone could be a majordistraction, especially in the
morning, is I feel like we don'twanna be at the demand of
social media or a text that camein the middle of the night that
might just say hey, forgotmakeup at your house last night.
(14:26):
You know it's like, and thenyou're like.
Before you know it, you'reresponding to text and emails
and you haven't really beenintentional.
You've let your phone kind ofdrive your day.
And I would encourage you totake five minutes and just go.
Okay, how can we set the toneand I think this is a key with
(14:48):
so many things Is it startingsmall If you don't have a
morning routine, as a couple isdon't take everything we're
saying and go.
We're gonna do this for threehours every day.
Kimberly (14:59):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay , take five minutes.
Danny Ray (15:02):
What's something small that we could start
tomorrow morning and berealistic with it?
If making coffee is more likefrustrating and not a joy for
you, like I, enjoy making thecoffee.
I enjoy bringing it up anddoing that for you in the
mornings.
But figure out something thatyour spouse loves and how you
(15:25):
could serve them.
But make it realistic, not, I'mgonna make breakfast every day
and it's gonna be this.
It's squizz it takes an hour tomake the breakfast.
Might not be the best startingplace.
Maybe that's a little bit downthe road.
So in making sure that together, as a couple, you're talking
about this and agree and notjust guessing what your spouse
(15:49):
wants.
Kimberly (15:49):
Yes, I love that.
Yeah, so have a conversationabout it how to start the days
and make a plan For me.
I'll just add real quick toyour comment about the phones
that's a change I've made isputting my phone much further
away across the room and so atnight it's not even there for me
(16:10):
to look at or roll over andcheck.
So it's also helping me wake upand not hit snooze as much
because I have to physically goget it and shut it off.
So, yeah, everybody operatesdifferently, but what's one
change that you can make thathelps you to set up your day the
(16:30):
best that it can be and thatbest start to your day, which
means connecting with God andconnecting with your spouse.
Danny Ray (16:38):
Yeah, we just believe , as you do, that it's going to
change the trajectory of yourday, which changes your marriage
in healthy ways.
So that is what we have fortoday.
We are going to go eat.
Kimberly (16:50):
What do you want for lunch, babe?
We're gonna go find it.
Danny Ray (16:54):
We hope that you are getting great stuff out of this
podcast.
Please share it with friends orwith family that you know that
this could be a benefit fortheir marriage.
We will continue to speak in tothe airways.
Kimberly (17:12):
But let us know if you have questions or thoughts for
us, we're happy to.
Danny Ray (17:15):
Yeah, feel free to reach out at danielaymagiccom.
We both look at that email andwill respond with that.
We just want to encourage youto do whatever it takes.
All right, so I'm just gonna say right away that
we are both hungry, so you mightget a different side of us
Normally we'd start like iteight o'clock and not gonna.
We do you know like startworking?
Kimberly (00:14):
on it.
Danny Ray (00:14):
They can't cast yeah, but we're we're starting late
today and we haven't had.
We haven't had lunch, we had anearly breakfast, so we're
hungry but we did do our typicalmorning routine.
Kimberly (00:27):
We just kind of got off track later and today we're
talking about couples and howthey do there, how we do our
Morning routine and how wouldyou just sneak a we do in there?
I think I did we do, but it it'simportant.
So last time we talked abouthaving the end in mind, and that
(00:49):
means Focusing on the marriageby looking at how do we want
this to look at the end.
You know, what do we want?
To be looking back on our lives, on our marriage together and
going, wow, we were reallyintentional in this area, in
that area, and I'm really gladthat we did this and that.
So we talked about that lasttime and and how that correlates
to how you come up with a magicshow and how you develop that.
Danny Ray (01:15):
Yeah, with the end in mind right, that's always where
I start, and even this latestshow called the waypoint is.
You know, I feel like it.
It's all my life's work in alot of way, this show, but the
first idea I had was the verylast part of the show, how you
want it to end and theexperience like what you want
(01:35):
people to kind of your thingabout how do?
I want to walk away.
Kimberly (01:39):
Yeah, with that that.
Don't want them to walk awayfeeling empowered.
Sometimes your shows are thatway.
I don't want them to walk awayfeeling like just just uplifted
and excited about life.
So I want them to walk awayjust kind of mind boggled and
going.
Danny Ray (01:55):
I don't even understand what just happened
now and in my current show thatI'm doing on the road, so not
waypoint.
It's about all these piecescoming together and.
And I think there's somethingabout when you see a complete
mess and then there's a story inthe mess of going.
Wait a minute, this was meantto be, and this was meant to be.
And I feel like, when we thinkabout our, our marriages, you
(02:19):
know, some of these pieces mightnot make sense, right?
Kimberly (02:21):
now, but if we start, to.
Danny Ray (02:23):
You know, have the end in mind, going like in the
end, I want to be a person ofcharacter.
I want to be somebody thatloves you more and is in more in
love with you.
When we end this thing, however, we go out, then when we
meaning death, not divorced.
Kimberly (02:37):
Thank you clarifying.
Thank you for clarifying.
Danny Ray (02:42):
Or you kill me off.
Kimberly (02:44):
I'm in the backyard I think I need to change your life
insurance policy but that'sanother.
For another time.
So, getting back to the point,so that's what we talked about
last time.
This time we're talking abouthow do we start each day?
Yeah, and in the parallel, withstarting a show.
Danny Ray (03:06):
Is it so important when I walk on the stage and,
let's say, there's 500 people inthe audience?
However, I start that firstfive seconds at first minute it
matters and I think it theparallel for our marriages is.
The thing I'm trying to do inthat first minute is Establish
(03:28):
connection.
Yeah and if I establishconnection, the rest of the show
just makes it so easy andsometimes it takes a minute,
sometimes it takes five minutes.
But honestly, if I don't have itin five minutes, I'm chasing
down that connection piece forthe next 20 until I get it, and
then I'm like, okay, now I couldreally start building some of
(03:48):
the things.
So let me, let me give you anexample show is when I was doing
underwater escapes.
Nobody walks out and firstthing they do is like, hey, let
me jump into a tank and, youknow, drown myself Because
nobody cares.
Like that might be interesting.
Let's see, I'm dry you knowyeah.
Is when they connect with youand they care about you and they
(04:08):
want what's best for you andyou want what's best for them
and you're doing well in termsof connecting, and then you go
underwater now, their heartsracing as your heart's racing.
So there's a connection in inour, in our daily lives.
Every day, we have thisopportunity to start new, you
know.
Kimberly (04:25):
Mm-hmm.
Danny Ray (04:26):
God says, his mercies for us are new every morning.
Oh and by the way that's whatwe would say in terms of
connection is it's connecting toGod and connecting to one
another.
So there's a vertical andthere's a horizontal, and as we
Connect with God, that sets thetone for the day, as we connect
for with one another.
That sets the tone for the daydoesn't mean everything's gonna
(04:48):
be easy, or any yeah, any ofthat, yeah, but it it less.
Lets us say, god, this is whatwe're praying for, this is what
we're asking for, as a couple,coming together and saying, hey,
I see you.
I know you have a lot on yourplate today talking about those
things and then navigating thattogether.
Kimberly (05:08):
And I want to back up to yes, we're talking about how
do you start each day, but asyou were talking about how you
start a magic show, um, it gotme thinking it actually starts
before that first moment becauseit's a plan, right?
Danny Ray (05:25):
You have, that's good yeah.
Kimberly (05:27):
You have a plan?
How am I going to connect withthis audience?
And you pay attention to theaudience, like you've read about
, uh, maybe the group or whatthey've done in the past, or if
it's a conference.
You know the theme, but I'm inthe audience right before
listening to the speaker,listening to the MC, listening
(05:47):
to the audience itself.
Danny Ray (05:49):
What conversations are they having?
If there's anything as a groupthat they've experienced or
they've done together, and Ibring that on stage.
And that could be as simple aslike mentioning something that's
funny about their hometown orit could be something that, um,
somebody said earlier andeverybody laughs because they've
already connected with thatother person I feel like.
(06:11):
I'm a part of the group, notjust.
You know, and I, I think youknow it's like you before coffee
.
You're not sure whether or notyou're against you.
Kimberly (06:20):
Right, which brings us to okay.
So we have the plan for how westart the day, and then we start
the day, um, individually inour, in our times, with
connecting to God.
Um, I will say I'm very spoiledin the way that I start most
days.
You bring me my coffee, I senda text downstairs and say I'm up
(06:42):
, or good morning, and uh, orsend a man, and I know what that
means.
Danny Ray (06:46):
You better get up here with coffee right now.
Kimberly (06:48):
Okay, it doesn't really mean that, but you have
taken it to mean that and Idon't mind.
But you bless me in that way,uh, every day that you're here,
um, and available to do that, soI'd say that's 99.9% of the
days that, uh, that you bringthe coffee and it certainly
(07:09):
blesses me and shows me that youcare and I, I love starting my
day that way.
Danny Ray (07:16):
I bet you do.
I would like to start my daythat way.
Can you give up two hoursearlier?
Kimberly (07:20):
Birthday, I'll bring you coffee.
Oh, I shouldn't say that yourbirthday is coming up, Um.
Danny Ray (07:26):
I've written that down.
On birthday coffee at 4am.
Kimberly (07:31):
No, yeah, that would be why I don't bring you coffee,
because you're such an earlywiser.
Uh, but anyway, back to the theplan.
So for us it means and, andthis isn't a right way or a
wrong way to do it, this is justhow we, uh, are familiar with
starting our, our days, and so,um, but there's a connection.
When Danny brings in the coffee, there's usually a physical
(07:55):
connection, um, are you sayingwith the dogs when they jump all
over you?
Well, definitely that the dogscome in.
They do literally jump all overme and uh, after I pet them
I'll say hi to you and uh, um,but there's a good morning.
Danny Ray (08:10):
So I'm second to the dogs.
Kimberly (08:12):
Okay, let's not make this something it doesn't need
to be, uh, but there's, there'sa, an intentional good morning
kiss.
How's your morning going so far?
What, if we have time or if wehaven't done this before, we'll
ask what, uh, you know, whathave you got going today?
Um, and, and it's yeah, thatmorning connection, just like
(08:33):
you being aware and connectingwith your audience, uh, as a
speaker, as a, as a magician, asa pastor.
Same thing goes for us on thedaily, in our marriages.
Danny Ray (08:43):
What would you say if somebody is like that would be
great, but our days are justcompletely off.
Kimberly (08:50):
Like you, know um someone's working nights or
she's out the door before I'mthere.
Danny Ray (08:55):
they're working nights.
Yeah, Um, what would you say?
Um, yeah, that's a good point.
Kimberly (09:00):
And not everybody's schedule looks like ours, that's
for sure.
Um, and actually I want to comeback to that in a minute on the
days where you're not just herein the morning but you're on
the road, so we'll come back tothat in a second.
But for couples where theschedule is, you know, bizarre,
or it's somebody's workingnights or, yeah, they're not
(09:21):
waking up, even around the sametime frame, but still, what can
you do to be intentional?
Do you text and go, hey, I'm up, I'm starting the day, or like,
would you prefer that somebodyone of them comes in and
whoever's leaving for the dayfirst, would you like a morning
(09:42):
kiss that they're, as they'rewalking out the door and come,
you know, kiss you in bed andsay good morning and you roll
back over and go to sleep.
Or maybe you would hate that.
So you know, you have to workout what.
Danny Ray (09:54):
And I know that's what you do for me.
That became important, and whenI, when I'm flying out, is you
want me to wake you up, praywith you, say bye, give you a
kiss and and head out?
Yeah?
Kimberly (10:06):
So that's what it looks like on those days yeah
that I was going to come back tothank you that, on those days
where, yeah, you're, you'rehitting the road, you're
traveling and you're leaving thehouse at 3am.
Danny Ray (10:16):
Right.
Kimberly (10:17):
And for me, yes, I still want that connection, but
that's because I can also rollover and go back to bed after
you kiss me pray and you're outthe door.
So, yeah, you have to workwithin the.
You know what works for the twoof you, the point being be
(10:37):
intentional, though.
Danny Ray (10:37):
right, how can you connect whatever time it is that
you're going or coming in themorning, waking up or so a great
question to ask, if you'relistening to this as a couple,
or to ask your, your spouse orsignificant other is is this
what's the best way to connectwith you in the morning?
Kimberly (11:01):
Yeah, great way to put it.
Danny Ray (11:04):
Like I could be helpful or hear you, or because
like I'll take on the other sideof this at the end of your day.
Sometimes you don't want like,hey, how can we connect right
now?
You want space usually 3045minutes of just like downtime to
unwind.
(11:24):
What do you call?
Kimberly (11:24):
it For some people.
Oh yeah, for me washing up work.
Danny Ray (11:28):
And.
But same thing with the morningis everybody is different this
way, but as a, as a couple, howdo you figure out what's the
best way to connect so you couldstart every day on the same
page?
Kimberly (11:40):
Yeah, and that's even true for couples dating long
distance, or you know what doyou?
How can we connect?
It's really, but everybody'spreferences or what they're able
to do is different, so havingthat conversation is what's
really key.
Danny Ray (11:59):
Yeah, I know, for us we haven't done a lot of
FaceTime, but I know a lot ofpeople that are on the road that
I talk to that are eithercomedians or other magicians or
speakers.
They do a lot of FaceTime backhome.
You know.
It's a very interesting way tobe able to connect, I think
because our pattern startedbefore that was a thing.
Kimberly (12:19):
20 years ago.
That makes sense, yeah.
Danny Ray (12:22):
And that didn't you know.
We didn't start out that way,yeah.
But this year I've made somechanges where I'm not doing a
FaceTime but I'm trying tocreate videos on the road just
for my family, for and a coupleof close friends, of just
sending a quick one minute videolike hey, think it about you
and saying something.
But for me I did it one timeand it was for my daughter and
(12:46):
she just really felt like lovedand I just needed that right now
.
And that was just kind of okay.
I'm gonna try to do that thisyear.
So, maybe it's starting a newhabit of going like what would
help you to feel connected?
Oh, bringing cup of coffee,I'll take that, and that's the
way you could serve and show.
Kimberly (13:05):
I like the video thing for sure, and so maybe for
those couples, like we weresaying that their schedules are
not the same, and yeah, you canleave.
I know, there's Marco Polo,there's different things where
you can leave a yeah, differentapps for messages, but you can
do it, record a video Howeveryou wanna do it.
Just the point being, that hasbeen a nice thing for me too,
(13:31):
when you're sending those, andfor me, what I like about that
is that it's not FaceTime, it'snot where I have to do it, right
then I have the choice ofopening it when it suits me,
when I have time, when I'm donewith my day at work, I can look
and go okay, danny's left me avideo message, and it does feel
(13:54):
more connected because I see you.
Even though it's a video, I'mseeing the surroundings where
you were at, and yeah, so that'sa great way.
Danny Ray (14:06):
You mentioned the phone and we've talked about
this kind of at different timesthroughout this podcast, but the
phone could be a majordistraction, especially in the
morning, is I feel like we don'twanna be at the demand of
social media or a text that camein the middle of the night that
might just say hey, forgotmakeup at your house last night.
(14:26):
You know it's like, and thenyou're like.
Before you know it, you'reresponding to text and emails
and you haven't really beenintentional.
You've let your phone kind ofdrive your day.
And I would encourage you totake five minutes and just go.
Okay, how can we set the toneand I think this is a key with
(14:48):
so many things Is it startingsmall If you don't have a
morning routine, as a couple isdon't take everything we're
saying and go.
We're gonna do this for threehours every day.
Kimberly (14:59):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay , take five minutes.
Danny Ray (15:02):
What's something small that we could start
tomorrow morning and berealistic with it?
If making coffee is more likefrustrating and not a joy for
you, like I, enjoy making thecoffee.
I enjoy bringing it up anddoing that for you in the
mornings.
But figure out something thatyour spouse loves and how you
(15:25):
could serve them.
But make it realistic, not, I'mgonna make breakfast every day
and it's gonna be this.
It's squizz it takes an hour tomake the breakfast.
Might not be the best startingplace.
Maybe that's a little bit downthe road.
So in making sure that together, as a couple, you're talking
about this and agree and notjust guessing what your spouse
(15:49):
wants.
Kimberly (15:49):
Yes, I love that.
Yeah, so have a conversationabout it how to start the days
and make a plan For me.
I'll just add real quick toyour comment about the phones
that's a change I've made isputting my phone much further
away across the room and so atnight it's not even there for me
(16:10):
to look at or roll over andcheck.
So it's also helping me wake upand not hit snooze as much
because I have to physically goget it and shut it off.
So, yeah, everybody operatesdifferently, but what's one
change that you can make thathelps you to set up your day the
(16:30):
best that it can be and thatbest start to your day, which
means connecting with God andconnecting with your spouse.
Danny Ray (16:38):
Yeah, we just believe , as you do, that it's going to
change the trajectory of yourday, which changes your marriage
in healthy ways.
So that is what we have fortoday.
We are going to go eat.
Kimberly (16:50):
What do you want for lunch, babe?
We're gonna go find it.
Danny Ray (16:54):
We hope that you are getting great stuff out of this
podcast.
Please share it with friends orwith family that you know that
this could be a benefit fortheir marriage.
We will continue to speak in tothe airways.
Kimberly (17:12):
But let us know if you have questions or thoughts for
us, we're happy to.
Danny Ray (17:15):
Yeah, feel free to reach out at danielaymagiccom.
We both look at that email andwill respond with that.
We just want to encourage youto do whatever it takes.
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