March 13, 2024 • 27 mins
Have you ever marveled at the magic of a well-crafted illusion and wondered if that same sense of awe could be infused into your daily life? My partner in crime, Kimberly, and I, Danny Ray, are beyond excited to bring you a very special 50th episode where we reveal the enchanting parallels between the art of magic and the heart-filled journey of marriage. Together, we share insights and playful strategies to bring the wonder back into your relationship, one minute at a time.
Celebrating love can be as simple as a shared glance or as deep as a ritual of connection. In our latest heart-to-heart, we unwrap the power of small actions and gestures that can leave an indelible imprint on your marriage. We're not talking grandiose displays; think the intimacy of a one-minute kiss or the personal touch of a handwritten sticky note. These acts, though seemingly trivial, are the threads that weave a rich tapestry of togetherness. From the importance of eye contact to the magic of a morning coffee ritual, we provide you with an arsenal of simple yet profound tools to fortify your bond with your beloved.
What's more, we don't just preach these methods; we live them. As we round out our conversation, we dive into the joys of relationship-building tips and rituals that any couple can seamlessly incorporate into the rhythm of their lives. 'Get to know you' cards, one-minute shoulder massages, and bedtime prayers are just a few of the gems we discuss that can set a positive tone for your day and deepen your connection. So, pull up a chair and let us guide you through crafting those magical moments in your marriage, because who says you can't create a little magic every day?
Celebrating love can be as simple as a shared glance or as deep as a ritual of connection. In our latest heart-to-heart, we unwrap the power of small actions and gestures that can leave an indelible imprint on your marriage. We're not talking grandiose displays; think the intimacy of a one-minute kiss or the personal touch of a handwritten sticky note. These acts, though seemingly trivial, are the threads that weave a rich tapestry of togetherness. From the importance of eye contact to the magic of a morning coffee ritual, we provide you with an arsenal of simple yet profound tools to fortify your bond with your beloved.
What's more, we don't just preach these methods; we live them. As we round out our conversation, we dive into the joys of relationship-building tips and rituals that any couple can seamlessly incorporate into the rhythm of their lives. 'Get to know you' cards, one-minute shoulder massages, and bedtime prayers are just a few of the gems we discuss that can set a positive tone for your day and deepen your connection. So, pull up a chair and let us guide you through crafting those magical moments in your marriage, because who says you can't create a little magic every day?
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
So this is a little crazy.
This is our 50th episode today,so we are excited to give it
out.
Woo-woo To make it happen.
My name is Danny Ray, I am amagician and a pastor, and this
is.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
I'm Kimberly and I am an associate marriage and
family therapist.
You're so much more Well, thankyou.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
So today we want to look at.
So season three is all about,like designing this show and the
parallels to a marriage.
Well, one of the things in ashow that I always want to.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
A magic show that you do Correct Okay All around the
world, all the time.
Okay, got it.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
And we created a local show that's 15 minutes
away in Redlands, california, infirst residency show I've done
and we just entered into monthseven of doing that.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
So that's crazy yeah.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
But yeah, so lots of interesting times.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
For sure.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
So, as a magician though, you've got these
parallels of how you set up youryeah to magic to parallel to
the marriage.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
Yeah, yeah, how you Things that you focus on in
developing a magic show or amagical experience and, yeah,
you've created it and that'swhat our whole book is, too
right, no, I can't make yourwife disappear, is literally.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
Get it on Amazon today.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
Yeah, there's the plug, but that's literally where
we've got all of thoseparallels kind of put in one
place, right.
But today we want to talk aboutsome specific or a specific
parallel.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
Yeah, and that's misdirection.
So people often think ofmisdirection as taking something
in Creating a magic momentwhere I want to catch the
magician he's trying to get meto look away.
Oh yeah, the idea that I thinkof with misdirection is more
focusing on the right things.
(01:56):
So it's not that I'm trying toget somebody to look away, but
when they look at the rightthings and they focus on what
I'm actually doing in front ofthem and not the secret stuff
I'm doing behind the scenes.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
You're doing secrets somewhere else.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
Yes, all the time.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
Not in our marriage, but oh, no, no, no, I meant in
the magic show.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
Okay, got it, that secret stuff.
If you actually saw it, itdestroys the illusion.
I think this is the same in ourmarriage.
When we focus on the rightthings, we're going to
experience magic and wonder andjoy and love and all those
things that God's designed inthe context of marriage.
But if we focus on the wrongthings, we go oh, I caught my
(02:41):
spouse doing this.
So I caught you, said you wouldnever do that, and then all of
a sudden it's like me againstyou.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
That's so good and really the way our brains
operate.
It is easier to focus on thenegative, and so we do have to
be intentional about focusing onthe positive and going wow.
These are the good things thatI want to focus on in our
marriage or about my spouse thatyeah, because it's so easy to
(03:09):
go the other way and go.
Oh, all these things that Idon't like, or yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
Yeah, so today I want to look at focusing on 10
things.
Ok, Specifically one minutething.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
So these are like.
We don't have to spend hours onthese things.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
Ok, we're looking for like practical ways you could
implement something today in oneminute.
So the idea isn't that you takeall 10 of these, but maybe you
take one of these and you go.
You know what I'm going to useone of these 10 things.
So these are small things thatwe believe could have a big and
sometimes a massive impact onyour marriage, for sure.
(03:47):
So focusing on the right things, this is the first thing.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
Number one we want you to spend one minute doing a
morning briefing.
You see this on TV.
Like in all the shows about thepresident, he goes oh, yeah,
yeah, yeah, they wake him up inhis bed, or her bed, as it may
be someday, and they say here'syour morning briefing.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
Wait, are you running for president?
Is there something I shouldknow?
Speaker 2 (04:14):
Absolutely not.
Not my calling, but I love thisidea and it works well for us.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
I think that'd be great though.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
It's a magician and a president.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
I mean we'd have to change the podcast.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
Yeah, I guess not.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
We do whatever it takes with the magician and the
president.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
All right, yeah, not happening.
So, we digress, Anyway.
So back to number one.
So a one minute morningbriefing.
Hey, babe, we just woke up.
What have you got going ontoday?
Speaker 1 (04:43):
Wait, hold on, hold on, hold on.
If I woke you up and said whatdo you have going on today?
Speaker 2 (04:48):
That's a good point, I think before coffee you might
kill me.
Ok, ok.
So should we skip down to bringcoffee?
Bring coffee One minute, yeah,one minute.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
Anything that your spouse loves to wake up with,
whether that's something to eator something to drink.
That's one minute where youcould encourage them and love on
them in that moment.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
So that's number one and nine all in the same right,
so OK.
So to clarify number one, wewere saying give a one minute
morning briefing.
So the briefing might need tohappen a little later in the
morning, not first thing in themorning, at least for you, at
least for me, for sure, If Iwoke you up with that.
What do you want to do?
But what's your plan for theday is usually what you ask me.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
Yeah, I think there's three things I think of with
that.
One is what's the plan for theday?
What can we do together?
And then the third is like howcan I help?
Is there anything in your daythat I could help with, and vice
versa.
But I think those three thingsof getting the plan, seeing what
we could do together, how weplan to connect at the end of
(05:52):
the day or during the day orwhatever, yeah.
Ok, good, number two Number two.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
We've talked about this before, but it's really
important your comings and yourgoings like how you greet each
other.
So to wrap this into a oneminute thing, I think some
couples are pretty good atkissing goodbye before they
leave.
But we want to also encouragethe kiss hello.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
So are you saying a one minute, because I don't
think you can deliver on this.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
A one minute goodbye kiss?
Wow, absolutely not.
Come on, because you're usuallylike three.
I got to go.
Yeah, three quick kisses, hey,but it's still a connection that
you appreciate I know, but thisdoesn't say 10 second things.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
It will have a massive like a one minute kiss.
I could have a good trajectoryon my day.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
It is still something you can do within one minute,
and if you're not doing it, youcould definitely stay focused.
This can definitely improve ourmarriage, because it's giving
us that a sense of continuityand a gesture of affection and
reassurance.
(07:07):
This is my person.
This is every day as we leave,this is what we do, and every
day when we come back together,this is what we do.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
I'm still focused on that one minute, but we'll move
on to number three.
But, just so you know.
I feel like that would makelife really healthy for me if I
had one Duly noted.
One minute.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
A one minute kiss.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
Yeah, do you want to try that on air.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
No, no, thank you.
Ok, here we go, moving onNumber three.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
So number three is this sticky notes of
encouragement.
So, here's the idea is go, graba post-it note or sticky notes,
like a stack of them, set analarm clock for one minute and
then think of as many things asyou could say about your spouse
that are encouraging, empowering, loving, blessing, and just
(07:53):
write those down.
Not that you have to write themdown as fast as possible, but
in one minute you could probablyget anywhere from five to 10
notes and maybe more of justsaying hey, I love you, hey, I'm
for you, hey, I'm thankful foryou, hey, thank you for you.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Know, whatever that is, you know there's just so
many luck on this today, or I'mpraying for you and not today,
right, and those and thingsalong the lines of I know you've
done this numerous times madewhen I I'm going the road, you
put 10 notes you know, one inyou know on a shirt, one in my
backpack, one and the suitcasesyeah, on my laptop.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
Or a shoe yeah so all these different things where
All the sudden you know whattook you one minute just becomes
like a huge blessing yeah, yeah, and I even came home to one
this last week that was, I think, was on the kitchen counter
okay I moved it to the fridge sothat I can continue right, you
(08:53):
wrote it about that.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
I don't remember that yeah, so it's a great way to
give gentle reminders of yourlove, appreciation and support.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Alright, so number four this is one that we've done
it in a variety of ways but, solet me just say what it is.
It's renewing your vows whileeither watching a wedding, or it
could be during a televisionshow or a movie.
Wedding on tv, yeah, it couldactually you could go back and
(09:20):
look at your wedding if you havethat on video somewhere in
renew your vows.
But if you were, you could justlook up vows online and you'll
find probably the exact orsimilar vows.
But there's something aboutsaying I take you can't believe
to be my wife to have and hold.
You know those vows.
I'm insane, I'm again.
Speaker 2 (09:42):
Just brings new confirmation to who we want to
be in the context of ourmarriage yeah, yeah, it's an
opportunity to reaffirm ourcommitment, that where we
started as far as the marriage,right and and it sounds cheesy,
I'm just gonna call it rightthere.
To me it does sound cheesy andeven in the moment sometimes it
(10:04):
feels like it.
You'll typically be the onethat grabs my hand.
Let's say we're watching amovie or a tv show, where, where
they have a.
They start saying that thewedding vows, and you'll usually
grab my hand and, and even inthat moment, looking at each
other's eyes and repeating it,there's something I can usually
(10:25):
move pretty fast from thecheesiness of it to the
sentimental value of it, yeah,so Okay, speaking of looking
into each other's eyes, sonumber five is undivided eye
contact.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
I don't know if you would last one minute, but we
got made it a minute we got thisfrom a movie.
I think it was baby I thinkit's baby mama, and martin, he's
rich guy and instead of givingher money I don't know the whole
I would have to go back.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
but he's her boss and she earns on and divided I
contact twenty minutes and hesits on the table in a board it
was twenty minutes it'ssomething ridiculous.
I don't know, but we're notrecommended twenty minutes.
Speaker 1 (11:10):
We've never made it that, but, but undivided I
contact.
There's something about it thatwe've laughed at each other or
left with each other, I don'tknow.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
Yeah, it's just a fun thing to do and yeah, so give a
shot about the pace of life inour culture today is just so
busy and and the reality is, youcould really miss something if
you're not looking notintentionally looking at your
spouse into their eyes going oh,they have new glasses.
(11:42):
I got a haircut and chopped offFive inches, or what I like if
I chopped off five of your hair,I think nothing that's chop.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
That's actually killing me.
Yeah, I'm not good enough.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
So, yeah, there's something for us again.
It's.
It's a little bit silly when weare you earned on a and why do
I keep getting that undividedword wrong?
But undivided I contact.
It's not an earned thing in ourmarriage.
That's not what we really say.
But you know, okay, let's,let's do this, let's set a timer
(12:18):
one minute.
We're gonna just stare in eachother's eyes, googly eyed, I
think you say, and yeah, there'ssomething silly but also
intimate about it, because whoelse are you gonna do that with?
Speaker 1 (12:30):
Here's a bonus one.
That way is with communication.
It's so important to putdevices down to turn away from
the TV and to turn towards oneanother and, even in an argument
, looking into each other's eyes.
It humanizes and reminds you ofyour love for that person.
(12:52):
Instead of fighting but you'renot looking at the person, it's
easier to have Just love andaffection and remembrance of who
that person is absolutely theevidence of that that when you
think about all of the peoplewho get online and slam somebody
else, right, it's so easy whenyou're not looking.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
I'd I With a person.
Yeah to just yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
Most of the comments online would, for the most part,
never happen if it were.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
Yeah, they were talking about person face to
face.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
yeah, there's funny memes and videos about that type
of stuff, of People sayinghorrible things about baseball
players in the baseball playerlike showing up behind them and
I don't know, I do like it wouldnever really say in your life.
Speaker 2 (13:37):
So maintaining eye contact conveys genuine interest
, empathy and connection.
Number six.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
So we've talked about praying a minute in the morning
, a minute night, which adds upto twelve hours but if you just
take one of the twelve hours ina year.
So it's this is one of thosethat we know can have massive
impact on a marriage yeah is oneminute, set your timer, pray in
.
If you can't make it that long,maybe you just do 10 seconds of
(14:09):
sure.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
Lord, help us, maybe that's five seconds, I don't
know yeah yeah, but is he'spraying with your spouse?
Speaker 1 (14:16):
There's an intimacy to that that is unlike anything
else, Absolutely and I think, asyou consistently do, that that
can have a Really huge impact onyour marriage and it could
really bring that the two of youcloser together in a way that I
don't think is Possible withwith other yeah, with anybody
(14:38):
else, yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
Yeah, it's different.
It's a ritual that it.
It fosters spiritual intimacy.
That's why it's something thatis only for the two of you in
marriage, but it also it's kindof a symbol of your, your trust
in each other and your reliancein each other, but also on God.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
Right that, that it's the, the three, yeah and just
to give you an idea with this.
You know we don't get thisright all the time, but we do
try to pray togetherconsistently.
Some of those are morning andnight, but sometimes it's
literally I'm falling asleep butI finished 10 seconds of a
(15:19):
prayer and Kim's like well, Iguess I'm gonna finish that.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
Amen, and sometimes you're already asleep.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
But the the intent is that we're we're trying to
Connect with.
As we get closer to God, we getcloser to one another and
prayers, that conversation withGod and he changes the outcome
of our lives and our marriages.
So we want to connect with himdaily.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
Absolutely number seven.
Yes, checking the temperaturebefore coming home now.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
What does that?
Yeah, that sounds a littleweird, right?
Is it 80 degrees out or 30degrees?
What's going on?
Speaker 2 (15:59):
So there are lots of ways that we can do this.
I like that.
You just said 80 degrees, so Ido kind of encourage couples to
give a number to it.
So what we're talking about issomebody maybe driving home from
work.
Okay, a lot of couples today.
Maybe both people are workingat home.
So it's still doable if you'redriving, if somebody's driving
(16:21):
home from work, then maybe it'son a phone call.
If you're coming, maybe it's,you know, coming together after
both of you working at home atthe end of the day.
Maybe you're texting each otherbefore you walk into the
kitchen to see each other forthe first time.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
So wait, are you supporting texting and driving?
Speaker 2 (16:38):
No, the texting was if you're at home and the other
one is for the phone call.
Okay, you're gonna get get meall confused so.
But the whole point ofcommunicating with each other,
whether it's phone or texting aphone call or texting Is
checking in on each other'semotional temperature.
(16:58):
So it's not just emotional,it's also their Like kind of
percentage of you know whatBattery percentage is kind of a
good way, yeah.
I like that better actuallythan just temperature.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
But cross out temperature.
Check the battery.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
Check the battery on your spouse before coming home,
before coming together at theend of the day, Because, you
know, yes, the goal is for bothof us to give a hundred percent
right.
It's not 50, 50, it is a hundredpercent, both of us, all the
time.
The reality is, I might have areally rough day, you might have
a bad day, and we might need tosay, hey, my battery, I am
(17:42):
running on empty.
I've got nothing left in thetank.
My battery is at, you know, 30%right now.
And I'm telling you that I'msaying, hey, my intent is to do
better than that.
It's not an excuse.
It's like I want to serve orhelp, or we do dinner together,
(18:04):
or whatever it is for the end ofthe night.
I want to end the day well, butI just have nothing left.
Speaker 1 (18:11):
So I think the questions there are, so you're
communicating that well and forboth parties is to say how can I
recharge or what are thingsthat will recharge you?
So for some people, cookingdinners like super charges them
(18:31):
up, they get it cited.
For other people, that'sdraining, and so you have to
know what are the things thatare draining for your spouse,
Communicate those so that youcould help be a part of the
solution.
And I think that's wherelearning to serve one another
and hopefully let's take thescenario where the other person
(18:52):
isn't on empty.
You know they're at 70, 80,100% and they're like, hey, when
you get home, how can I serveyou?
How can I help recharge?
How can I make the day end wellfor you?
And that looks different foreverybody, but I know for you
specifically, Coffee food bubblebath.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
Coffee food bubble bath that about solves every
problem.
Yeah, but sometimes there aretimes where it's not.
Yes, it's wonderful if youserve and you're able to fill my
cup emotional cup that way.
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
Lots of analogies in this Temperature batteries, cups
so many yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:33):
But there's also value in you saying you know
what, I'm running on empty too,or maybe just neither of us are
able to serve well in thatevening for some reason, and to
be able to say you know what,maybe we're both feeling at 50%
All right, let's have grace inthat, so maybe nobody needs to
(19:56):
serve the other one in that.
But maybe it's just more of ahey, we're acknowledging where
we're at, putting kind of anumber on a scale and saying
like let's have grace for eachother tonight.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
Cause.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
I'm not feeling like I can just give and give.
I'm running on empty.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
And I think what that does as well is it in
communicating that and saying,hey, let's give grace, sets you
up so that you're not on edgetoward each other?
Speaker 2 (20:24):
Yeah, why isn't he doing this?
Why isn't she doing that?
Speaker 1 (20:27):
Yeah, there's space that's given on both sides as
needed.
Speaker 2 (20:30):
Yeah for sure, and we talked about this one quite a
bit just now, but to explain it,but really it is a one minute
process for you to maybe checkin with yourself before talking
to your spouse and saying, hey,this is where I'm at as we're
coming back together at the endof the day.
It's a proactive approach toallow you to prepare to support
(20:54):
each other and serve each otherbetter.
So number eight, so number nineis oh what happened to eight.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
Oh, I'm sorry, I skipped right over that Just
right, just skip it.
So get to know you cards.
Speaker 2 (21:07):
Yeah, there are some resources out there.
We do one of these as familyones.
Actually, your family does oneat Thanksgiving like a stack of
cards or stack of things thatactually yours look like your
family's ones, look likematchsticks long matchsticks.
And on each one is a question,just to get to know you thing.
(21:31):
So same thing here.
There are ones that are moreintimate questions, there are
ones that are more get to knowyou and more lighthearted, but
you can pick those up on Amazonor in the stores or whatever.
I'm not recommending a specificone necessarily, but they spark
meaningful conversations right.
(21:52):
So even just a one minute.
Hey, before we turn on the TVtonight, let's do one question
from the thing and we'll have adiscussion Again.
It doesn't, maybe it's silly,maybe it's, maybe it does get to
longer than a minute becauseyou guys are enjoying the
discussion, or maybe it's justinformation and you go oh that's
(22:14):
.
I didn't know that about you orabout myself.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
Yeah, those type of conversation starters are great
and good to know you, and justsome of those will make us laugh
and have fun.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
Oh, for sure.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
Make for a great car ride conversations.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
You know when we're going on the drive.
Yeah, car trips too.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:29):
Okay, so number nine is like starting things right
together.
So for Kim, starting thingsright is morning coffee.
So in the mornings I'll do apour over Chemex Yummy.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
The quality of the coffee.
That's all on you.
Yes.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
But I will bring that in with two crazy dogs and let
them jump all over you andsomehow that is your morning
routine.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
But, I think helping your spouse set up the day well
is really important, and you'revery kind and generous, yes, and
doing that and that ritual thatyou don't mind doing at least I
don't think so.
Speaker 1 (23:13):
I think you would tell me about that?
Speaker 2 (23:16):
Yeah, definitely helps me to start my day on the
right foot.
Yeah, and helps before all thedemands of the day hit.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
Yeah, so you could look and figure out like what's
something that you could do foryour spouse and talk to them and
find out.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
I'll bet some people make breakfast.
You could.
Yeah, I know people that dobreakfast for their spouse.
Speaker 1 (23:38):
I don't know about every morning, but consistently,
and then coffee or tea isanother like consistent one that
I hear.
Speaker 2 (23:45):
I'll bet there are a lot of smoothie makers out there
.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
And I know one of the things I try to do not that I
do this every day, but is I tryto get there before your alarm
goes off.
There's something about wakingup to fresh coffee versus the
sound of alarm.
But let's say it was justsimply that you're up before
your spouse and you get therejust to rub their head or just
to say good morning and turn offthe alarm for them be their
(24:10):
alarm.
But some might need that alarmto actually get out of there.
Speaker 2 (24:13):
So talk to your spouse, don't just turn off
alarms without asking.
Good point, good point Number10.
Speaker 1 (24:20):
The last one is something I got from a friend of
mine, joe Castaneda Love thatguy.
Yeah, joe and Tracy have agreat marriage, and he said one
of the things for him that'slike a game changer for their
marriage was when he startedgiving one minute shoulder
(24:40):
massages.
Speaker 2 (24:41):
What.
Speaker 1 (24:42):
Yeah.
So he's like anytime she askshe'll give a one minute massage
and she just loves that.
That's part of like how shefeels loved and he's like it's
not a long thing but it justlets her know hey, want to
connect and so yeah, I'mguessing I love that.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
I'm guessing that they've set this up.
To say this does not mean it'sleading to something necessarily
.
No, that, not this is not a.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
They have something else that way, but that will
have to be shared by Joe andTracy at some point.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
But some people obviously like love.
Language would be physicaltouch for some people, right?
And even if it's not, thisshows you're saying this friend
of ours, it shows her love tohave a one minute shoulder
massage.
But in that, my guess is thatthere's safety in that too.
Because it's a one minutemassage, it's saying, hey, this
(25:39):
isn't going anywhere.
This is because I love you andI want to show you, do something
for you, that I know you loveit's a gift to her.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
Not a means to an end .
Speaker 2 (25:50):
Yeah, yeah, not a goal.
Okay, I love that.
Speaker 1 (25:54):
So I think it's remembering like little things
you know we could have talkedabout, like the major parts of a
marriage, of communication youknow, having great communication
or sex or any number of thingsthat I think to focus on.
But we wanted to take just lookat small things today that are
(26:14):
doable today that you can make.
They can make a big differencein your marriage.
So we hope that you'll grab oneof these and or it could, you
know, be more than one, just togo through all 10 really fast
one minute morning briefing.
Number two kiss goodbye and akiss Hello.
(26:35):
Number three sticky notes ofencouragement or, you know,
blessing the other person bysaying things.
Number four renewing the vows.
Number five undivided eyecontact.
Speaker 2 (26:46):
Number six pray before sleeping.
Number seven checking thetemperature.
Or we're going to change that?
Speaker 1 (26:52):
battery before coming home.
Speaker 2 (26:55):
Number eight get to know you cards.
Number nine morning coffee,either together or for the other
person.
Number 10, the one minuteshoulder massage, that is what
we have with.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
We do whatever it takes.
We hope that you do whatever ittakes to create a great
marriage today, including justtaking one minute to do
something to bless or encourageor love on your spouse.
That is it.
Speaker 2 (27:19):
This is Danny, and Kimberly and we do whatever it
takes.
So this is a little crazy.
This is our 50th episode today,so we are excited to give it
out.
Woo-woo To make it happen.
My name is Danny Ray, I am amagician and a pastor, and this
is.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
I'm Kimberly and I am an associate marriage and
family therapist.
You're so much more Well, thankyou.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
So today we want to look at.
So season three is all about,like designing this show and the
parallels to a marriage.
Well, one of the things in ashow that I always want to.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
A magic show that you do Correct Okay All around the
world, all the time.
Okay, got it.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
And we created a local show that's 15 minutes
away in Redlands, california, infirst residency show I've done
and we just entered into monthseven of doing that.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
So that's crazy yeah.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
But yeah, so lots of interesting times.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
For sure.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
So, as a magician though, you've got these
parallels of how you set up youryeah to magic to parallel to
the marriage.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
Yeah, yeah, how you Things that you focus on in
developing a magic show or amagical experience and, yeah,
you've created it and that'swhat our whole book is, too
right, no, I can't make yourwife disappear, is literally.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
Get it on Amazon today.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
Yeah, there's the plug, but that's literally where
we've got all of thoseparallels kind of put in one
place, right.
But today we want to talk aboutsome specific or a specific
parallel.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
Yeah, and that's misdirection.
So people often think ofmisdirection as taking something
in Creating a magic momentwhere I want to catch the
magician he's trying to get meto look away.
Oh yeah, the idea that I thinkof with misdirection is more
focusing on the right things.
(01:56):
So it's not that I'm trying toget somebody to look away, but
when they look at the rightthings and they focus on what
I'm actually doing in front ofthem and not the secret stuff
I'm doing behind the scenes.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
You're doing secrets somewhere else.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
Yes, all the time.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
Not in our marriage, but oh, no, no, no, I meant in
the magic show.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
Okay, got it, that secret stuff.
If you actually saw it, itdestroys the illusion.
I think this is the same in ourmarriage.
When we focus on the rightthings, we're going to
experience magic and wonder andjoy and love and all those
things that God's designed inthe context of marriage.
But if we focus on the wrongthings, we go oh, I caught my
(02:41):
spouse doing this.
So I caught you, said you wouldnever do that, and then all of
a sudden it's like me againstyou.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
That's so good and really the way our brains
operate.
It is easier to focus on thenegative, and so we do have to
be intentional about focusing onthe positive and going wow.
These are the good things thatI want to focus on in our
marriage or about my spouse thatyeah, because it's so easy to
(03:09):
go the other way and go.
Oh, all these things that Idon't like, or yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
Yeah, so today I want to look at focusing on 10
things.
Ok, Specifically one minutething.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
So these are like.
We don't have to spend hours onthese things.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
Ok, we're looking for like practical ways you could
implement something today in oneminute.
So the idea isn't that you takeall 10 of these, but maybe you
take one of these and you go.
You know what I'm going to useone of these 10 things.
So these are small things thatwe believe could have a big and
sometimes a massive impact onyour marriage, for sure.
(03:47):
So focusing on the right things, this is the first thing.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
Number one we want you to spend one minute doing a
morning briefing.
You see this on TV.
Like in all the shows about thepresident, he goes oh, yeah,
yeah, yeah, they wake him up inhis bed, or her bed, as it may
be someday, and they say here'syour morning briefing.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
Wait, are you running for president?
Is there something I shouldknow?
Speaker 2 (04:14):
Absolutely not.
Not my calling, but I love thisidea and it works well for us.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
I think that'd be great though.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
It's a magician and a president.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
I mean we'd have to change the podcast.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
Yeah, I guess not.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
We do whatever it takes with the magician and the
president.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
All right, yeah, not happening.
So, we digress, Anyway.
So back to number one.
So a one minute morningbriefing.
Hey, babe, we just woke up.
What have you got going ontoday?
Speaker 1 (04:43):
Wait, hold on, hold on, hold on.
If I woke you up and said whatdo you have going on today?
Speaker 2 (04:48):
That's a good point, I think before coffee you might
kill me.
Ok, ok.
So should we skip down to bringcoffee?
Bring coffee One minute, yeah,one minute.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
Anything that your spouse loves to wake up with,
whether that's something to eator something to drink.
That's one minute where youcould encourage them and love on
them in that moment.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
So that's number one and nine all in the same right,
so OK.
So to clarify number one, wewere saying give a one minute
morning briefing.
So the briefing might need tohappen a little later in the
morning, not first thing in themorning, at least for you, at
least for me, for sure, If Iwoke you up with that.
What do you want to do?
But what's your plan for theday is usually what you ask me.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
Yeah, I think there's three things I think of with
that.
One is what's the plan for theday?
What can we do together?
And then the third is like howcan I help?
Is there anything in your daythat I could help with, and vice
versa.
But I think those three thingsof getting the plan, seeing what
we could do together, how weplan to connect at the end of
(05:52):
the day or during the day orwhatever, yeah.
Ok, good, number two Number two.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
We've talked about this before, but it's really
important your comings and yourgoings like how you greet each
other.
So to wrap this into a oneminute thing, I think some
couples are pretty good atkissing goodbye before they
leave.
But we want to also encouragethe kiss hello.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
So are you saying a one minute, because I don't
think you can deliver on this.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
A one minute goodbye kiss?
Wow, absolutely not.
Come on, because you're usuallylike three.
I got to go.
Yeah, three quick kisses, hey,but it's still a connection that
you appreciate I know, but thisdoesn't say 10 second things.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
It will have a massive like a one minute kiss.
I could have a good trajectoryon my day.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
It is still something you can do within one minute,
and if you're not doing it, youcould definitely stay focused.
This can definitely improve ourmarriage, because it's giving
us that a sense of continuityand a gesture of affection and
reassurance.
(07:07):
This is my person.
This is every day as we leave,this is what we do, and every
day when we come back together,this is what we do.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
I'm still focused on that one minute, but we'll move
on to number three.
But, just so you know.
I feel like that would makelife really healthy for me if I
had one Duly noted.
One minute.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
A one minute kiss.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
Yeah, do you want to try that on air.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
No, no, thank you.
Ok, here we go, moving onNumber three.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
So number three is this sticky notes of
encouragement.
So, here's the idea is go, graba post-it note or sticky notes,
like a stack of them, set analarm clock for one minute and
then think of as many things asyou could say about your spouse
that are encouraging, empowering, loving, blessing, and just
(07:53):
write those down.
Not that you have to write themdown as fast as possible, but
in one minute you could probablyget anywhere from five to 10
notes and maybe more of justsaying hey, I love you, hey, I'm
for you, hey, I'm thankful foryou, hey, thank you for you.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Know, whatever that is, you know there's just so
many luck on this today, or I'mpraying for you and not today,
right, and those and thingsalong the lines of I know you've
done this numerous times madewhen I I'm going the road, you
put 10 notes you know, one inyou know on a shirt, one in my
backpack, one and the suitcasesyeah, on my laptop.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
Or a shoe yeah so all these different things where
All the sudden you know whattook you one minute just becomes
like a huge blessing yeah, yeah, and I even came home to one
this last week that was, I think, was on the kitchen counter
okay I moved it to the fridge sothat I can continue right, you
(08:53):
wrote it about that.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
I don't remember that yeah, so it's a great way to
give gentle reminders of yourlove, appreciation and support.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Alright, so number four this is one that we've done
it in a variety of ways but, solet me just say what it is.
It's renewing your vows whileeither watching a wedding, or it
could be during a televisionshow or a movie.
Wedding on tv, yeah, it couldactually you could go back and
(09:20):
look at your wedding if you havethat on video somewhere in
renew your vows.
But if you were, you could justlook up vows online and you'll
find probably the exact orsimilar vows.
But there's something aboutsaying I take you can't believe
to be my wife to have and hold.
You know those vows.
I'm insane, I'm again.
Speaker 2 (09:42):
Just brings new confirmation to who we want to
be in the context of ourmarriage yeah, yeah, it's an
opportunity to reaffirm ourcommitment, that where we
started as far as the marriage,right and and it sounds cheesy,
I'm just gonna call it rightthere.
To me it does sound cheesy andeven in the moment sometimes it
(10:04):
feels like it.
You'll typically be the onethat grabs my hand.
Let's say we're watching amovie or a tv show, where, where
they have a.
They start saying that thewedding vows, and you'll usually
grab my hand and, and even inthat moment, looking at each
other's eyes and repeating it,there's something I can usually
(10:25):
move pretty fast from thecheesiness of it to the
sentimental value of it, yeah,so Okay, speaking of looking
into each other's eyes, sonumber five is undivided eye
contact.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
I don't know if you would last one minute, but we
got made it a minute we got thisfrom a movie.
I think it was baby I thinkit's baby mama, and martin, he's
rich guy and instead of givingher money I don't know the whole
I would have to go back.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
but he's her boss and she earns on and divided I
contact twenty minutes and hesits on the table in a board it
was twenty minutes it'ssomething ridiculous.
I don't know, but we're notrecommended twenty minutes.
Speaker 1 (11:10):
We've never made it that, but, but undivided I
contact.
There's something about it thatwe've laughed at each other or
left with each other, I don'tknow.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
Yeah, it's just a fun thing to do and yeah, so give a
shot about the pace of life inour culture today is just so
busy and and the reality is, youcould really miss something if
you're not looking notintentionally looking at your
spouse into their eyes going oh,they have new glasses.
(11:42):
I got a haircut and chopped offFive inches, or what I like if
I chopped off five of your hair,I think nothing that's chop.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
That's actually killing me.
Yeah, I'm not good enough.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
So, yeah, there's something for us again.
It's.
It's a little bit silly when weare you earned on a and why do
I keep getting that undividedword wrong?
But undivided I contact.
It's not an earned thing in ourmarriage.
That's not what we really say.
But you know, okay, let's,let's do this, let's set a timer
(12:18):
one minute.
We're gonna just stare in eachother's eyes, googly eyed, I
think you say, and yeah, there'ssomething silly but also
intimate about it, because whoelse are you gonna do that with?
Speaker 1 (12:30):
Here's a bonus one.
That way is with communication.
It's so important to putdevices down to turn away from
the TV and to turn towards oneanother and, even in an argument
, looking into each other's eyes.
It humanizes and reminds you ofyour love for that person.
(12:52):
Instead of fighting but you'renot looking at the person, it's
easier to have Just love andaffection and remembrance of who
that person is absolutely theevidence of that that when you
think about all of the peoplewho get online and slam somebody
else, right, it's so easy whenyou're not looking.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
I'd I With a person.
Yeah to just yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
Most of the comments online would, for the most part,
never happen if it were.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
Yeah, they were talking about person face to
face.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
yeah, there's funny memes and videos about that type
of stuff, of People sayinghorrible things about baseball
players in the baseball playerlike showing up behind them and
I don't know, I do like it wouldnever really say in your life.
Speaker 2 (13:37):
So maintaining eye contact conveys genuine interest
, empathy and connection.
Number six.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
So we've talked about praying a minute in the morning
, a minute night, which adds upto twelve hours but if you just
take one of the twelve hours ina year.
So it's this is one of thosethat we know can have massive
impact on a marriage yeah is oneminute, set your timer, pray in
.
If you can't make it that long,maybe you just do 10 seconds of
(14:09):
sure.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
Lord, help us, maybe that's five seconds, I don't
know yeah yeah, but is he'spraying with your spouse?
Speaker 1 (14:16):
There's an intimacy to that that is unlike anything
else, Absolutely and I think, asyou consistently do, that that
can have a Really huge impact onyour marriage and it could
really bring that the two of youcloser together in a way that I
don't think is Possible withwith other yeah, with anybody
(14:38):
else, yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
Yeah, it's different.
It's a ritual that it.
It fosters spiritual intimacy.
That's why it's something thatis only for the two of you in
marriage, but it also it's kindof a symbol of your, your trust
in each other and your reliancein each other, but also on God.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
Right that, that it's the, the three, yeah and just
to give you an idea with this.
You know we don't get thisright all the time, but we do
try to pray togetherconsistently.
Some of those are morning andnight, but sometimes it's
literally I'm falling asleep butI finished 10 seconds of a
(15:19):
prayer and Kim's like well, Iguess I'm gonna finish that.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
Amen, and sometimes you're already asleep.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
But the the intent is that we're we're trying to
Connect with.
As we get closer to God, we getcloser to one another and
prayers, that conversation withGod and he changes the outcome
of our lives and our marriages.
So we want to connect with himdaily.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
Absolutely number seven.
Yes, checking the temperaturebefore coming home now.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
What does that?
Yeah, that sounds a littleweird, right?
Is it 80 degrees out or 30degrees?
What's going on?
Speaker 2 (15:59):
So there are lots of ways that we can do this.
I like that.
You just said 80 degrees, so Ido kind of encourage couples to
give a number to it.
So what we're talking about issomebody maybe driving home from
work.
Okay, a lot of couples today.
Maybe both people are workingat home.
So it's still doable if you'redriving, if somebody's driving
(16:21):
home from work, then maybe it'son a phone call.
If you're coming, maybe it's,you know, coming together after
both of you working at home atthe end of the day.
Maybe you're texting each otherbefore you walk into the
kitchen to see each other forthe first time.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
So wait, are you supporting texting and driving?
Speaker 2 (16:38):
No, the texting was if you're at home and the other
one is for the phone call.
Okay, you're gonna get get meall confused so.
But the whole point ofcommunicating with each other,
whether it's phone or texting aphone call or texting Is
checking in on each other'semotional temperature.
(16:58):
So it's not just emotional,it's also their Like kind of
percentage of you know whatBattery percentage is kind of a
good way, yeah.
I like that better actuallythan just temperature.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
But cross out temperature.
Check the battery.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
Check the battery on your spouse before coming home,
before coming together at theend of the day, Because, you
know, yes, the goal is for bothof us to give a hundred percent
right.
It's not 50, 50, it is a hundredpercent, both of us, all the
time.
The reality is, I might have areally rough day, you might have
a bad day, and we might need tosay, hey, my battery, I am
(17:42):
running on empty.
I've got nothing left in thetank.
My battery is at, you know, 30%right now.
And I'm telling you that I'msaying, hey, my intent is to do
better than that.
It's not an excuse.
It's like I want to serve orhelp, or we do dinner together,
(18:04):
or whatever it is for the end ofthe night.
I want to end the day well, butI just have nothing left.
Speaker 1 (18:11):
So I think the questions there are, so you're
communicating that well and forboth parties is to say how can I
recharge or what are thingsthat will recharge you?
So for some people, cookingdinners like super charges them
(18:31):
up, they get it cited.
For other people, that'sdraining, and so you have to
know what are the things thatare draining for your spouse,
Communicate those so that youcould help be a part of the
solution.
And I think that's wherelearning to serve one another
and hopefully let's take thescenario where the other person
(18:52):
isn't on empty.
You know they're at 70, 80,100% and they're like, hey, when
you get home, how can I serveyou?
How can I help recharge?
How can I make the day end wellfor you?
And that looks different foreverybody, but I know for you
specifically, Coffee food bubblebath.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
Coffee food bubble bath that about solves every
problem.
Yeah, but sometimes there aretimes where it's not.
Yes, it's wonderful if youserve and you're able to fill my
cup emotional cup that way.
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
Lots of analogies in this Temperature batteries, cups
so many yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:33):
But there's also value in you saying you know
what, I'm running on empty too,or maybe just neither of us are
able to serve well in thatevening for some reason, and to
be able to say you know what,maybe we're both feeling at 50%
All right, let's have grace inthat, so maybe nobody needs to
(19:56):
serve the other one in that.
But maybe it's just more of ahey, we're acknowledging where
we're at, putting kind of anumber on a scale and saying
like let's have grace for eachother tonight.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
Cause.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
I'm not feeling like I can just give and give.
I'm running on empty.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
And I think what that does as well is it in
communicating that and saying,hey, let's give grace, sets you
up so that you're not on edgetoward each other?
Speaker 2 (20:24):
Yeah, why isn't he doing this?
Why isn't she doing that?
Speaker 1 (20:27):
Yeah, there's space that's given on both sides as
needed.
Speaker 2 (20:30):
Yeah for sure, and we talked about this one quite a
bit just now, but to explain it,but really it is a one minute
process for you to maybe checkin with yourself before talking
to your spouse and saying, hey,this is where I'm at as we're
coming back together at the endof the day.
It's a proactive approach toallow you to prepare to support
(20:54):
each other and serve each otherbetter.
So number eight, so number nineis oh what happened to eight.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
Oh, I'm sorry, I skipped right over that Just
right, just skip it.
So get to know you cards.
Speaker 2 (21:07):
Yeah, there are some resources out there.
We do one of these as familyones.
Actually, your family does oneat Thanksgiving like a stack of
cards or stack of things thatactually yours look like your
family's ones, look likematchsticks long matchsticks.
And on each one is a question,just to get to know you thing.
(21:31):
So same thing here.
There are ones that are moreintimate questions, there are
ones that are more get to knowyou and more lighthearted, but
you can pick those up on Amazonor in the stores or whatever.
I'm not recommending a specificone necessarily, but they spark
meaningful conversations right.
(21:52):
So even just a one minute.
Hey, before we turn on the TVtonight, let's do one question
from the thing and we'll have adiscussion Again.
It doesn't, maybe it's silly,maybe it's, maybe it does get to
longer than a minute becauseyou guys are enjoying the
discussion, or maybe it's justinformation and you go oh that's
(22:14):
.
I didn't know that about you orabout myself.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
Yeah, those type of conversation starters are great
and good to know you, and justsome of those will make us laugh
and have fun.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
Oh, for sure.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
Make for a great car ride conversations.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
You know when we're going on the drive.
Yeah, car trips too.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:29):
Okay, so number nine is like starting things right
together.
So for Kim, starting thingsright is morning coffee.
So in the mornings I'll do apour over Chemex Yummy.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
The quality of the coffee.
That's all on you.
Yes.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
But I will bring that in with two crazy dogs and let
them jump all over you andsomehow that is your morning
routine.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
But, I think helping your spouse set up the day well
is really important, and you'revery kind and generous, yes, and
doing that and that ritual thatyou don't mind doing at least I
don't think so.
Speaker 1 (23:13):
I think you would tell me about that?
Speaker 2 (23:16):
Yeah, definitely helps me to start my day on the
right foot.
Yeah, and helps before all thedemands of the day hit.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
Yeah, so you could look and figure out like what's
something that you could do foryour spouse and talk to them and
find out.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
I'll bet some people make breakfast.
You could.
Yeah, I know people that dobreakfast for their spouse.
Speaker 1 (23:38):
I don't know about every morning, but consistently,
and then coffee or tea isanother like consistent one that
I hear.
Speaker 2 (23:45):
I'll bet there are a lot of smoothie makers out there
.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
And I know one of the things I try to do not that I
do this every day, but is I tryto get there before your alarm
goes off.
There's something about wakingup to fresh coffee versus the
sound of alarm.
But let's say it was justsimply that you're up before
your spouse and you get therejust to rub their head or just
to say good morning and turn offthe alarm for them be their
(24:10):
alarm.
But some might need that alarmto actually get out of there.
Speaker 2 (24:13):
So talk to your spouse, don't just turn off
alarms without asking.
Good point, good point Number10.
Speaker 1 (24:20):
The last one is something I got from a friend of
mine, joe Castaneda Love thatguy.
Yeah, joe and Tracy have agreat marriage, and he said one
of the things for him that'slike a game changer for their
marriage was when he startedgiving one minute shoulder
(24:40):
massages.
Speaker 2 (24:41):
What.
Speaker 1 (24:42):
Yeah.
So he's like anytime she askshe'll give a one minute massage
and she just loves that.
That's part of like how shefeels loved and he's like it's
not a long thing but it justlets her know hey, want to
connect and so yeah, I'mguessing I love that.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
I'm guessing that they've set this up.
To say this does not mean it'sleading to something necessarily
.
No, that, not this is not a.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
They have something else that way, but that will
have to be shared by Joe andTracy at some point.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
But some people obviously like love.
Language would be physicaltouch for some people, right?
And even if it's not, thisshows you're saying this friend
of ours, it shows her love tohave a one minute shoulder
massage.
But in that, my guess is thatthere's safety in that too.
Because it's a one minutemassage, it's saying, hey, this
(25:39):
isn't going anywhere.
This is because I love you andI want to show you, do something
for you, that I know you loveit's a gift to her.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
Not a means to an end .
Speaker 2 (25:50):
Yeah, yeah, not a goal.
Okay, I love that.
Speaker 1 (25:54):
So I think it's remembering like little things
you know we could have talkedabout, like the major parts of a
marriage, of communication youknow, having great communication
or sex or any number of thingsthat I think to focus on.
But we wanted to take just lookat small things today that are
(26:14):
doable today that you can make.
They can make a big differencein your marriage.
So we hope that you'll grab oneof these and or it could, you
know, be more than one, just togo through all 10 really fast
one minute morning briefing.
Number two kiss goodbye and akiss Hello.
(26:35):
Number three sticky notes ofencouragement or, you know,
blessing the other person bysaying things.
Number four renewing the vows.
Number five undivided eyecontact.
Speaker 2 (26:46):
Number six pray before sleeping.
Number seven checking thetemperature.
Or we're going to change that?
Speaker 1 (26:52):
battery before coming home.
Speaker 2 (26:55):
Number eight get to know you cards.
Number nine morning coffee,either together or for the other
person.
Number 10, the one minuteshoulder massage, that is what
we have with.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
We do whatever it takes.
We hope that you do whatever ittakes to create a great
marriage today, including justtaking one minute to do
something to bless or encourageor love on your spouse.
That is it.
Speaker 2 (27:19):
This is Danny, and Kimberly and we do whatever it
takes.
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