Doulas, Collaboration Over Competition & Why Joy and Grief Walk the Same Line with Amy Silva

This week, Nikki sits down with Amy Silva, a birth doula of seven years, founder of the Collaborative Doula Collective, and a fierce advocate for collaboration over competition in the doula community. After losing her mom to suicide just six months before her first pregnancy, Amy knew she wanted to support women who didn't have that mother figure—or any support system—through one of life's most transformative experiences.

Together, they unpack what it really means to hire a doula, why asking about bias is crucial, and how to prepare for birth scenarios you hope never happen (but need to plan for anyway). Amy shares her journey from the ER trauma room to the birth room, why informed consent isn't practiced enough, and how hard birth experiences shouldn't be worn as badges of honor. This conversation is vulnerable, empowering, and a masterclass in holding space.

Amy shares:

• Why she became a doula after losing her mom to suicide 6 months before getting pregnant
• "Birth and death are two sides of the same coin"—doulas need to support both
• The most important question: What is your doula's bias?
• Birth preferences vs. birth plans—run through scenarios so you're not blindsided
• Emergency C-section: who goes in the OR with you—partner or doula?
• Why doulas sometimes undervalue themselves 
• "Get comfortable being uncomfortable"—it's okay not to have all the answers
• The doula scam: a woman faked pregnancies/losses and traumatized 50+ doulas
• C-sections aren't "the easy way out"—major surgery doesn't make you less than
• Hard birth experiences as badges of honor = unprocessed trauma seeking validation
• The Collaborative Doula Collective: 52+ doulas ending competition and supporting each other

Ways to Connect with Amy:

Amy's Insta | Collaborative Doula Conference Insta | Collaborative Doula Collective Insta | Web