October 26, 2024 • 31 mins
In this bonus episode, Lindsay shares the intimate details of her first birth story, taking us through the incredible journey of welcoming her child. And keep your eyes peeled—next round, we'll be sharing the birth stories of our second kids!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Lindsay (00:00):
I was definitely willing to have an emergency C
section right then and there.
I told everybody in the room,I'll do it.
Put me out.
I want her safe.
Let's go.
And I'm like, just know that Ijust ate.
They're like, okay.
Jordan (00:20):
Hello, Lindsay.
Hello.
Hi.
How are you doing?
Good.
I'm pretty good.
Good.
Feeling up to the brave task ofsharing your birth story?
Lindsay (00:30):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Quite interesting one.
Cool.
Yeah.
We all have an interesting one.
Yeah.
I don't think there's a birthstory that's not interesting.
Yeah.
And not similar to anyoneelse's.
At all.
Yeah.
We all.
Yeah.
I mean, there's like.
I think there
Jordan (00:45):
are lots of shared experiences for sure.
Yeah.
Yeah, definitely.
Lindsay (00:49):
So yeah, we have a birth story, I have, I've given
birth once, my daughter, she'llbe two this winter, so she's
only a year and a half, Butyeah, I feel like I remember it
like that yesterday.
Yeah, good.
I wonder how long that feelingwill be.
Jordan (01:03):
Do you
Lindsay (01:04):
remember yours like yesterday?
Jordan (01:05):
Most of it, yeah.
Like, some bits are really hazyand blocked out.
Not like blocked out, but like,I got very, very tired.
You've probably all heard mybreast story already.
It was long and grueling.
Yeah.
And I didn't sleep very much forlike three straight days.
I
Lindsay (01:18):
hope your next one's quick.
Yeah.
I mean like, quick andcomfortable.
Jordan (01:24):
Yeah.
I mean, I, like, at the end ofthe day, it's one of those
things that like, doesn'tmatter.
Sure.
Cause you're like, that
Lindsay (01:31):
was only How many hours was it?
39.
You're like, that was 39 hoursof my life.
I'm not gonna like dwell on it.
Yeah.
Jordan (01:39):
And like, I think I said, it's one of those
experiences where like, You haveno choice but to get through it.
Yep.
It's so true.
So you get through it.
Yes.
Lindsay (01:49):
You're so right.
You, that baby's coming out.
Jordan (01:51):
Yeah.
Totally.
And you want it to come out.
Of course.
And you want everything to go.
Yes.
So yes.
Lindsay (01:57):
Okay.
So the way mine came out.
Tell us.
Tell us all.
Oh, I was induced.
Yes.
Yes.
I went and took that route.
This wasn't my first choice.
I don't want to be induced.
I'm kind of like in the boatwith Jordan where, oh, medicine
and drugs just do me dirty.
(02:19):
And I'm not somebody that wantsto be medicated up.
I don't feel well when I'm thatmedicated up and pushing and
forcing things along.
But, here's the deal.
I Um, my daughter was supposedto be due December 23rd.
That is my birthday.
(02:42):
She's not getting born on mybirthday.
She could totally have been bornon my birthday.
But I really didn't want, Iwasn't sure if I, I would have
taken that sacrifice and shecould have been born on my
birthday and I would have gonethrough that pain and hell.
But.
I also didn't want to risk herbeing born on Christmas Day or
Christmas Eve.
Jordan (02:58):
And having all the Christmases and birthdays
stacked up like they are in yourfamily is already a little bit
of a bummer.
Yeah,
Lindsay (03:05):
my husband's birthday is just the week after.
And already Christmas has kindof felt like too much.
Like, yeah, I think
Jordan (03:12):
everyone thinks Christmas is too much.
Plus then two birthdays on topof it.
Now we have three.
Yeah.
So everyone understands.
Yeah.
And now we have
Lindsay (03:21):
three birthdays and, so I chose the induction route.
Just to separate that distanceas much as you could.
Yeah.
Yeah, I was like, you know, Ithink it'd be great to be home.
Hopefully be home by Christmaswith my newborn baby.
There's also
Jordan (03:35):
something to be said for like, maybe it didn't matter so
much for you, but would have forme, uh, getting, having that
birth on the same deductible aseverything else.
Oh, sure.
Making sure she didn't go intothe new year.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's what I would have beenthinking.
Yeah.
Lindsay (03:50):
Yeah.
Yeah, absolutely.
Um, so.
I got induced.
We went in.
We, okay, mind you, it'sChristmas.
Family's showing up.
We're getting all the thingsready.
It's kind of starting to feellike a whirlwind.
It doesn't really feel like it'sabout to happen.
That I'm going in to have a babybecause I'm hosting Christmas.
(04:13):
People are arriving.
What's the meal plan while I'mgone?
And then by hosting Christmas
Jordan (04:18):
she does mean, like, relatives staying.
Well, I guess they didn't stayat your house this time.
Yeah.
Typically they do.
I think that was
Lindsay (04:26):
like the first time we didn't
Jordan (04:27):
have them stay.
Yeah.
Makes sense.
Yeah.
But
Lindsay (04:30):
they were at
Jordan (04:30):
her house like all day every day.
Yeah.
And I was still in hosting mode.
Yeah.
Totally.
Yeah.
Lindsay (04:35):
I was not like, fully checked into about to have a
baby.
I just knew she was, you know,gonna arrive any day and gave
me, like, the butterflies andthe giddies, if you will.
Yeah.
Because I expected it and Iknew.
And you knew that the inductionday was coming up.
Which did, give me someone thathad, has the whole fear of the
unknown thing, like, somecomfort.
Jordan (04:54):
I'm sure.
Lindsay (04:56):
Yeah, there's some comfort there in like knowing,
okay, I'm going in the nightbefore to start the cervix
softening and all, all of theabove.
Okay.
So I eat my wonderful, likeenergy thriving meal for dinner
the night before.
I am supposed to go to thehospital the night before to
(05:16):
start the cervix softeningprocess.
Get my room, get all set up,spend the night in the hospital,
okay, we're probably going tohave the baby in the morning
sometime.
So I have my wonderful,delicious meal, my husband and I
are driving to the hospital,we're holding hands and we're
like, okay, this is all crazy,this is happening, yadda yadda
yadda.
get to the hospital, get allchecked in.
(05:38):
Everyone's very excited for usto be induced.
The nurse is excited to see methroughout, through the night.
The front desk chick is excitedfor me to fill out my paperwork.
We're all feeling giddy.
You know?
Yeah.
I'm there for about an hour.
And we start the cervixsoftening.
And, you know what I saidearlier?
(05:59):
You know what I said earlierthat my body is just like a
little sensitive to meds?
Oh, yeah.
This is a, like, kind of minormedication.
This is the first, like, minormedication that I'm about to,
like, start while I'm here atthis hospital.
And I am up on all fours with anintense contraction that would
not let up on my child.
(06:21):
So
Jordan (06:22):
after having taken the first medication, the first
Lindsay (06:25):
of, I think they were supposed to get four cervix
softening pills and I only gotone.
And it was
Jordan (06:29):
the cervix softener that made you like tighten.
Yeah.
I didn't
Lindsay (06:33):
get like any other kind of medication on board.
Nothing.
That was it.
And I was supposed to enjoy thatand sleep through the night.
However, minutes after havingMatt, I, I'm, How do they,
Jordan (06:45):
how do they give you that medication?
They
Lindsay (06:46):
insert it.
Oh, vaginal.
Into your vaginal.
Okay.
So, I am someone that works inhealthcare, so I'm watching all
of the monitors like a hawk.
And I know what's all happening,and I'm watching the monitor,
and the contraction won't letup.
And I'm like, um, uh, issomething wrong with the
(07:09):
equipment?
Because equipment issues are abig thing in the operating room
or maybe on the floor.
It's always the equipment that'swrong first.
However, I all of a sudden gotsuper nauseous.
Oh dear.
And I hit that red button andall of a sudden there were like
12 people in the room and theywere like on all fours and like
(07:29):
trying to get this contractionto let up.
So that's where you were on allfours.
Yes.
On the bed.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
So they have you in a certainposition.
I was laying down like normally.
Um, get it.
I had my cervix softener pilland ready to soften me up and
ready to relax.
And they were like, flip up onyour knees and hands, hands and
(07:51):
knees.
We got to get this likecontraction to lighten up.
So that's when the strong bedscame through.
So that's when I got a shot formaking the contraction stop.
I see.
So that sends your body throughan essentially like an
adrenaline rush and you shakeuncontrollably.
It's almost like you're so cold,like you're just uncontrollably
(08:14):
shaking.
And it takes some time for yourbody to come out of that
shaking.
I was definitely willing to havean emergency C section right
then and there.
I told everybody in the room,I'll do it.
Put me out.
I want her safe.
Let's go.
And I'm like, just know that Ijust ate.
They're like, okay.
Yeah.
So they're like, okay, uh, we'lljust, you know, now that you've
(08:36):
had to see what happens, theyget ahold of the OB is not there
at the hospital in the evenings,they're on call.
And so they're communicatingwith the OBGYN and, just no more
cervix happenings throughout thenight.
We'll start Pitocin later on.
So, we calm down from theshaking and then, you know, we
just kind of take a rest.
(08:57):
everyone's watching my vialspretty closely and watching the
contractions for a while just tomake sure that they're back on
track.
and these are like Braxton Hickscontractions, they're not like
serious.
Okay, not like laborcontractions.
But I think that for softeningpills, like started kicking them
into gear.
Hazy.
This is the part where it's hazyfor me because I was like,
(09:17):
Adrenaline rush?
What the hell just happened?
How do I, like, re frame mymindset from that to going
through the rest of the night?
Yeah, because I was fullyunexpected.
When am I going to expect, thestarting process of this all?
And how's it going to go nowthat I don't have cervical
softener?
So I was pretty, like, I wasasking, like, a lot of
questions, like, hey, how's mybody going to react to pitocin?
(09:40):
You know, what are thecocktails, I know, so they were
watching me pretty closelyhusbands like in and out of
sleep, I don't even rememberwhat time I got my pitocin,
somewhere in the middle of thenight, I don't know.
Like maybe before midnight.
I don't even remember.
Like my body had come down.
Did they give
Jordan (09:56):
it to you earlier than they were, than they had planned
because the cervical softenersweren't going to jive with you?
I
Lindsay (10:05):
don't know.
I don't remember.
Okay.
They probably did.
Cause they probably want to getthe process like going.
Cause they were like, okay,well, she's not going to have
this.
Then we may as well just start alittle dose.
Yeah.
Yeah, there's like all theselike random factors.
Obviously, that just goes toprove to show you that like
someone can go in for aninduction and things can change.
Yeah, like the trajectory andtheir schedule of their birth
(10:27):
can completely change the waythe night goes and the morning
goes the next day for staff.
So, at that point I was like,damn, that was when I really
wish I would have gone natural.
So I was having that like, kindof battle with like, what am I
doing?
Like, was this the right choicesort of thing?
Yeah.
So that's where I was just like,okay, you're in the hospital,
your daughter's gonna be here.
(10:47):
Yeah.
in the morning sometime,somewhere safe.
And I was just trying to talkmy, give myself like all the
truths in the situation.
And I was like, you are going tohave more births in your life.
You can reevaluate for thoselater.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, so I, at some point I gotPitocin.
I don't recall the time, like Isaid, but that kicked things
(11:10):
into gear quite fucking quickly.
Crazy.
I was expecting that to be anissue.
ease into contractions and easeinto the whole labor process.
Dude, I couldn't get a breath inbetween contractions.
What?
That's the same.
They were like every 30 seconds.
I mean, they went from likeminutes to like every 30 seconds
(11:31):
pretty quickly.
And I was like, my breathing, Ican't let, you know, I was just
getting like more frustrating.
Yeah.
And here's the thing aboutgoing.
in at night time that I wish Iwould have had a Maybe like a
doula for I wish I probably Iwas complaining about having a
doula with this pregnancy goingback and forth That's something
that's not covered in insurance.
(11:52):
It's another expense I alreadyworked, I've worked in a
healthcare field in that, inthat setting for so, so long
that I like justified not havingone, but when I went, yeah, but
I would, because I went in atnight, there's not as many staff
on the, on board per patient asthere is during the day.
And so you have one nurse tohowever many patients.
(12:15):
Mm hmm.
And so I felt some semi lonely.
Oh, so.
I had my husband there and I wasbreathing.
But like, I didn't have thatperson to kind of like, calm me
down when my mind starts racing.
Like, what am I doing?
Should I have like had a naturalbirth or how can someone remind
me to chill and breathe in 30second break?
(12:36):
Kind of a thing.
Like I just didn't have like the30 seconds.
I did not have a break to catchmy breath.
And so I had to give into theepidural.
Yeah.
I really tried really hard.
And I was also being in amindset, being cautious for that
anesthesiologist.
Yeah.
And their timing.
(12:56):
Yeah.
And not thinking about myselfand like when I really needed
the epidural.
Which
Jordan (13:02):
is the tricky part, probably, of working in
healthcare fields.
Yeah, because I'm like,
Lindsay (13:05):
okay, if I wake them, I don't know if it's he or she on,
I haven't, well, I mean, I metthem when I had to be up on all
fours.
Yeah.
And it was a dude and I waslike, I don't want to wake him
up right now because if I wakehim up right now, he's not going
to be able to fall back to sleepfor the rest of the night.
Very thoughtful.
I know.
So that's what's like, isn'tthat, that's crazy.
(13:26):
How like my mind like wentthere.
I was that checked out of my ownlike body because I couldn't get
my breath like under control.
I was like, I'm not hereanymore.
So that kind of like, I just, Ireflect a lot on that and I look
and like figure out like, okay.
They.
It's their job to be up allnight long and it's their job to
(13:50):
fall right back to sleep ifthey've been up.
Like they,
Jordan (13:54):
that's what they're trained to do.
Yeah.
Lindsay (13:56):
Yeah.
So like when I went ahead andmade the call for the epidural,
like I said, I forgot, I don'teven remember what time, but I
made sure it was on time thatthey could fall back to sleep.
Do
Jordan (14:05):
they, do
Lindsay (14:05):
they sleep at the hospital
Jordan (14:07):
and
Lindsay (14:07):
they're just on call and they're not there?
Typically they do if they have,like, depends on like the cases
and who, what's going on Whatpatients might need them like on
the OB floor night that's, or ifthey live close by at home.
I would've just thought therewas an anesthesiologist awake at
the hospital all night long.
the hospitalist is, hmm, for themost part.
The hospitalist?
The hospitalist.
(14:27):
So there's always a hospitalistand they're, they're the person,
oh, you should look into thisjob.
I would love to be ahospitalist, I think.
So they're kind of like the onesthat they can make the call with
all the teams of like what tomove.
They're the coordinators?
Yeah.
Yeah.
But I, I don't know what I wassaying, but, um, So you woke up
the anesthesiologist as well.
I did, I woke him.
How rude.
(14:49):
I was like, okay, now's thetime.
I can't get my breath undercontrol.
And now we're pretty intensehere.
Uh huh.
Um, and yeah, I, uh, things justlike, we're moving so fast and,
Um, Can catch my breath andneeded the relief and I finally
when I got that relief I Was sograteful for some rest I'm sure
(15:11):
I'm sure that's how I felt toobut it it did you know it sucks
too because at the same time Ifelt like that's when I was
asking the nurse to Help me likemove from side to side more Now
I need all of you to help meout.
Yeah As much as I'm resting andgetting like my space You No, I
need your help.
Uh, so, So they helped me in,but they kept my spirits up, my
(15:34):
nighttime nurse was wonderful,and she was really hoping that
she could, you know, my childwas going to arrive before she
had to leave for her shift, butthat did not happen.
But then morning crew comes in,everyone's excited.
I'm stoked.
Yeah.
The teams at the hospital are sogreat.
I have had experience working onthe OB floor, like with, uh,
when I have to come up and dolike C sections and stuff.
(15:56):
And man, everyone that's on theOB floor.
happy angels, like ready, readyfor anything.
They're so happy.
Yeah, yeah.
They really are ready foreverything, anything.
So great place to be in thedaytime.
had much better experience andmore positive vibes and really
felt the love and theencouragement and the, during
(16:16):
the whole process of things whenthey were really moving along.
My OB had his hospital day.
So my induction was meant forhis hospital day so that he
could potentially be the guy todeliver.
And I felt comfortable withthat.
Yeah.
I have, we go, uh, Jordan and Igo to the same kind of group of
OBs.
I've met multiple of them and Ifelt comfortable to go with
(16:39):
multiple of them if he couldn'tdo it.
He did stay in the operatingroom because our timing for
pushing was when operations werestarting.
Yeah, he, he was in thehospital, but he was not the
gentleman to like deliverbecause his surgery schedule was
there and those patients thatneed him to, for that too.
(17:00):
So slightly bummed that we justhad to call in a partner, took
the partner a little bit.
The nurses were like, Oh, shouldwe give her another dose of like
this med, these medications forher epidural because there's a
possibility she might be pushingand it might run out of time.
And I was like, I don't wantthat to happen.
Yeah.
I don't want to be a full 10CCs.
(17:21):
You know, all of a sudden Ididn't feel that go from nothing
to feeling it.
Yeah.
That'd be tough.
Yeah.
Why were they, why were
Jordan (17:28):
they talking about not giving you more though?
Lindsay (17:30):
The timing of it they wanted to possibly like give
another dose of it so that mytiming because I had to wait for
a part his Partner to come tothe hospital.
Oh So you might not have hadlike a doctor in time if they
correct if I was pushing rightand the epidural ran out Got it.
Does that make sense?
Yeah So I didn't want that tohappen.
(17:52):
I was like, put it on the tab.
I'm not going from Let's getanother round.
I'm like, I'm not going from notfeeling to feeling at all.
In the midst of pushing.
Especially not
Jordan (18:05):
after your experiences the night, like through the
night with the Pitocin and theCervical Softener.
I'm sure that felt, that made itfeel more intimidating.
Yeah.
Lindsay (18:14):
I, you know, I even practiced like the whole hypno
birthing thing like uh, the lastfew weeks and just trying to get
like get my breath under controlat home and to really practice
that and the pitocin was sostrong for me.
You're just like, goodbye.
Yeah, it was like okay, I'm not,I can't catch my breath and here
we go.
We need to We need to actuallygo for this.
So, didn't have the naturalbirth, got the induction, like,
(18:39):
got all the meds on board that Iliterally, like, wasn't planning
on having, but I am alsosomebody that was, like, willing
to plan A out the door.
I want, I just want my childsafe, sound, I don't care what
kind of torture I need to, like,continue here.
Yeah.
She came like within a half hourafter that.
(19:01):
What?
I'm fairly certain.
Jordan (19:02):
Yeah.
So were you pushing?
So I actually probably didn't,
Lindsay (19:04):
I don't know if I, yes, I don't know.
Yeah, it was.
I don't even know if I reallyneeded the epidural, but the
nurses were making me feel likeI did.
Okay.
Jordan (19:10):
So wait, so like the night goes on, you get your
epidural.
Yeah, the morning staff comesin.
You're still
Lindsay (19:16):
on Pitocin.
Yes, morning staff comes in.
Morning staff comes in all readyto go.
All giddy and they're like,Your, your doctor is staying in
the surgery.
We are calling his partner tocome in.
And he comes in.
But we need you to push a coupleof times.
Okay, so you started pushingbefore the doctor got there.
Jordan (19:30):
Yes.
Yeah.
And then, like, they gave youmore epidural.
During the,
Lindsay (19:33):
during the pushing they're like,
Jordan (19:34):
Eventually he arrives.
Lindsay (19:36):
And that's what, yeah.
Yeah, he comes, he arrives, thenlike his assistants are there
and
Jordan (19:42):
okay.
So, you weren't, like, pushingfor half an hour before the
doctor got there.
Okay.
Lindsay (19:46):
No.
I just had to wait, oh, whichfelt like forever for him to get
home.
Did you feel the urge to pushwhile you were waiting?
No, not at all.
No.
Not with, yeah.
Even with having like theepidural and everything, I
didn't feel an urge to push.
They were just telling me to doit.
I was like, okay, I'll do it.
Jordan (20:01):
And that's, and you got her out just fine without even
like feeling the urge.
Yeah.
Wild.
Cause I totally had the urge topush.
Yeah.
And it was strong.
Yeah.
It felt intense.
Lindsay (20:10):
Yeah.
So, when he got there, then itwas like game on, we're pushing.
Yeah.
And so Andrew was up at the legwith me, with the other nurse
and.
They were put, they werecheering me on and push, push,
push.
I think I was bearing down and Ididn't even know I was bearing
down cause I couldn't feelanything.
And that's what you're notsupposed to do.
Correct.
And that's how I, that's how Itore.
(20:31):
so I tore and luckily he told mewhen he, uh, Um, she come ups on
my chest and she, she's here,we're holding her and we're
taking pictures quickly beforeshe goes off with the nurses.
And then at that point when shewent off with the nurses to get
like measured and you know,situated and yeah, that's when I
pushed the placenta out and thatwas like, they were like, you do
(20:53):
not have to push really hard forthis, like in
Jordan (20:55):
general or just for you.
So I'm curious about, uh, ingeneral, they
Lindsay (20:59):
just told me in general, like you don't have to
do really hard.
Yeah.
Just head out.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So that came out all in onepiece, which I'm so grateful
for.
Sometimes our placentas can getchipped or, you know, not
chipped but like pieced and thenyou got a piece that's left in
you and that can cause severetoxicity and like sepsis and all
(21:21):
that.
But that all came out in onenice thing.
chunk, if you will.
Yum.
Yeah, not my favorite part of,like, the whole process.
But they did ask me if I wantedto see, when I was pushing with
the doctor, just before thedoctor got there, the nurses
were like, do you want a mirror?
And I was like, absolutely not.
Because a lot of, like, a lot ofmoms want to see what's going on
(21:42):
and that might encourage themto, and I was like, no, I think
it would freak me out even more.
Yeah, I think I would say no tothat, too.
Because if I, like, saw herhead, I'd be like, she's not
breathing, or like, you know.
Yeah, totally.
So I, I passed on the mirror.
I don't want to look, I justwant to focus on like, her
coming out safely.
So yeah.
Placenta, then stitching, Ithink I had stage two, rupture
(22:04):
from pushing her and he, put inextra stitches that I did not
know about at the time.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
He told me at the time that Iripped or that I had a stage two
rupture.
Yeah.
which I was like, fine.
That's normal typically for afirst time.
Yeah.
Mom.
Mm-Hmm.
and thank God it's not a stagefour Yeah.
I was like, stage three or stagefour would probably just be
(22:26):
like, fuck.
Um, but I was grateful that itwas a Sage two.
So he was telling me like whathe's all doing, which I
appreciate.
However, I didn't know he wasputting extra stitches in.
Yeah, that's a bummer.
Not the best feeling.
Uh, to heal.
So that got brought up, aroundmy six week appointment.
(22:48):
Cause I was like, this isn'tlike feeling good.
This is feeling a little tightand like really sore.
Cause I'm swollen fromdelivering vaginally and
bruised.
Yeah.
This is like, this like tensionwith these extra stitches is
like ruining me.
Um, yeah.
You know, you can do all thelike the numbing cream and like
the ice packs you want but Itwas like sending me over the
(23:11):
edge.
And so we had that discussion atthe six week.
And how did that go?
It did not go as well as Iwanted it to Our group is
supposed to have a mental nurseon staff And she was not part of
that appointment.
I really wish she was I thinkit's really important to have
You A mental health nurse atthose six week checkups, you
(23:32):
know, to really dive in becauseyou're really these six week
checkups here in America arelike.
Okay, you're all healed or yep,uh, you may, you might need to
wait a little bit longer forphysical activity, whether you,
you know, and I got the okay todo physical activity except not
ride a bike for a couple moreweeks if I need, if I was a
cycler or sure.
And he was like, yeah.
are you ready for birth control?
(23:52):
You know what?
and you're just like, what areyou talking about?
I am not having sex, but like,yeah, there are couples out
there that do and don't want a
Jordan (24:01):
baby right away.
Immediately.
Yeah.
I mean, and I get that.
I wouldn't want to get pregnantweeks after I just delivered,
but like at the same time Iwouldn't, yeah, I'm with you on
the, like, it wasn't reallyready to have sex.
Yeah.
For months.
Lindsay (24:15):
Yeah.
So anyways, like that all hadsomething to do with like
postpartum anxiety andpostpartum depression moments
too.
And now I'm just reflecting alot and journaling a lot about
my experience and like what I'velearned.
It's very interesting.
as somebody that has worked inhealthcare field, I, one thing I
was really worried about waspaying attention too much to
(24:37):
everyone else and what their jobdid a little bit.
I was fairly nervous that I wasjust going to be paying
attention to like everythingthat they were doing and not
feeling checked in at all withmyself.
Semi.
True.
That happened to me.
I was really afraid that it wasall going to be all my attention
was going to be on staff.
(24:59):
It really wasn't.
That's good.
yeah.
So just being a healthcareworker, I was just very like
aware, more aware than likemaybe somebody that isn't.
Like they didn't even give methe option to have her when I
was up on all fours and I, and Itold them I will do this right
now.
And they were like, Oh, okay.
Like they didn't even likemention it first to me.
I mentioned it to them.
Yeah.
Cause I knew that that was asituation that they were
(25:20):
contemplating thinking about.
Yeah.
Um, so just like things likethat came in handy, but also
like.
Like I said, I just kind of wishI had had, more of support
understanding what my body wasgoing through.
Jordan (25:35):
Sure.
Lindsay (25:36):
Yeah.
Than understanding what my bodywas going to go through with
medication.
Sure.
Jordan (25:41):
Yeah, that's something they should definitely like talk
to.
I mean, obviously no one wasgonna, no one could have
predicted that your cervicalsoftening medication would have
created such a reaction.
But yeah, yeah, yeah, that'swild.
And that's, yeah, as part of howlike medication can be like a
little freaky, but at the sametime, you got to trust that you
are doing the right thing andthat your team's there and
(26:01):
everything like that.
Lindsay (26:03):
so anyways, that's my crazy, weird, short, but like
intense aftermath.
That it gave.
So how long
Jordan (26:11):
do you feel like you, it took you to kind of process the
birth, or do you think you'restill processing?
Just over a year.
Wow.
Yeah.
That's no joke, man.
Yeah, because
Lindsay (26:21):
I feel like I.
wasn't going to be ready to tryagain.
Yeah.
because we ended up getting, wedid get pregnant.
I talked about, I've shared itwith this on here.
We did get pregnant.
Um, when my daughter was sevenmonths old and I had that gnarly
miscarriage that fall.
So after that miscarriage, I wasstill in the process of
(26:44):
processing and healing from mybirth.
and the aftermath of my birthand, it definitely was a year
and a half.
And then I was like, okay, yeah,I think I'm there.
I think I'm ready to like, moveforward now.
And I've done my reflecting.
I know what my plan is for thenext time.
And I know that there's going tobe a plan A, plan B and C and D,
maybe E.
(27:05):
Yeah.
But like, I definitely, um,wanted to make sure that the
induction was not going to be afirst choice again.
So I was like, if we could tryto not have a baby around
Christmas time, that would
Jordan (27:17):
be good.
Oh God.
Yeah.
I bet.
So how do you feel now havinghad an induct?
I mean, obviously like yourexperience with induction is
probably a lot different tosomebody's experience who, You
know, I didn't have a reactionto the medication and like just
had a nice positive thing.
But are there any other things,that would keep you from having
(27:37):
an induction again?
Like what are your generalfeelings about being induced for
the next one?
Lindsay (27:41):
I think just knowing the fact that if my next one is
not due around a significantholiday is going to bring me
down a huge notch of like I canbe more chill to go in with a
natural and experience all that.
I am a okay to do an epiduralagain.
That I'm okay with having, but Ireally will probably like, I'll
(28:02):
have the chance to breathe andpractice the whole contractions
thing.
Because they'll come slowly.
Yeah, I didn't experience thecontractions.
Yeah, I went into the hospitaland the first contraction I
experienced I was up on allfours and it wouldn't let up on
her So it was immediately likekind of like traumatizing to
having a contraction Yeah So Iwas like waiting for the next
contraction throughout all ofthat time to do it again And I
(28:25):
was watching that damn monitorlike okay, it's letting up good.
We can move on to the next oneOkay, this one's letting up Okay
Like I was literally justwatching the monitor to make
sure that the contraction wasnot gonna hold on her
Jordan (28:38):
Yeah.
Lindsay (28:38):
And so I feel like that probably had me
Jordan (28:40):
checked out.
Lindsay (28:41):
Yeah.
Or checked
Jordan (28:42):
into a very different place than you thought you'd be
checked into.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So you'll avoid an induction inthe future.
Yeah.
I'm gonna try.
If you can.
Yeah.
Lindsay (28:51):
Yeah.
I'm gonna try.
Jordan (28:53):
Cool.
So.
Crazy.
Crazy.
Crazy.
Lindsay (28:56):
I'm glad that you were able to process
Jordan (28:57):
it all in the end.
Yeah,
Lindsay (28:59):
it
Jordan (28:59):
takes a while though.
Was there anything inparticular, like I'm sure there
are plenty of listeners outthere who had a crazy birth
story and they did a lot ofprocessing themselves.
Was there any specific, like,thing that you did that you
think helped to actually getthat processing done?
Yeah, my therapist.
Like, going through each
Lindsay (29:15):
step of my situation with my therapist.
Just each literal step.
Jordan (29:20):
Individual therapist?
Yeah.
Or did you do this with yourcouples therapist too?
Lindsay (29:23):
Um, my couples therapist understands like the
big moments and the, and the,and the outside factors that
were going on to understand mydepth of my situation being kind
of like big, but my individualtherapist was definitely my
helper and.
Jordan (29:39):
And the process.
Yep.
Happened there.
Lindsay (29:40):
And I really had to like go through each step in my
mind slowly.
I mean, I'm sure.
One month at a time almost.
Yeah.
Okay.
Let's just talk about me askingme being worried about the
answers, just being awake.
Like, let's let's process that.
Break this down.
Jordan (29:58):
Like, move on.
You know.
Yeah.
Yeah, for sure.
I mean, I was really thoughtfulof you.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, thank you.
Thank you for sharing yourstory.
Yeah.
That's my little birth story.
I'm excited to have another oneto share.
Lindsay (30:14):
I know! Interesting to see if he arrives, like, on
Halloween day or just beforeand, like, Oh, I hope it's,
like, just before.
Jordan (30:22):
Just before
Lindsay (30:23):
would be
Jordan (30:23):
great.
Oh.
Yeah.
So fun.
Lindsay (30:25):
I think it will if, if, if your daughter came early.
Jordan (30:29):
Yeah.
It would make sense.
Yep.
Lindsay (30:31):
Usually, and then the second birth is typically
quicker than the first.
Yeah.
Jordan (30:34):
Yeah.
Crazy.
Crazy to think about.
How many more?
Lindsay (30:38):
Do we, are we even asking the question how many
more Saturdays until?
No, let's not.
Oh my god, too
Jordan (30:44):
much.
I can't.
Oh gosh,
Lindsay (30:48):
it's just around the quarter.
That's all we need to know.
Jordan (30:50):
Yeah, my third trimester starts tomorrow.
Crazy.
No.
Wow.
It's insane.
Lindsay (30:58):
Here we go.
You're past like the rumoredbest trimester.
I guess it's rumored that yoursecond trimester is like the
best.
I feel like mine was probablythe, uh, mine was the first time
Jordan (31:11):
for sure.
Lindsay (31:11):
Yeah.
Jordan (31:12):
But yeah.
Anyway, thanks for joining ineverybody.
Um, first
Lindsay (31:19):
story.
If you have any questions aboutany of that, please let me know.
I can go into more depth.
Jordan (31:25):
Yeah.
And we'll talk to you all soon.
Give us a follow, likesubscribe.
We have kid pod, we have kidpodcast.
We have the kids.
Jesus Christ.
Lindsay (31:35):
Can you tell that Jordan's almost in her third
trimester?
She's checked
Jordan (31:41):
up.
Yep.
It's nap time.
Yep.
Alright, cool.
Yeah, we'll talk to you allsoon.
Okay, bye.
Cheers, bye.
I was definitely willing to have an emergency C
section right then and there.
I told everybody in the room,I'll do it.
Put me out.
I want her safe.
Let's go.
And I'm like, just know that Ijust ate.
They're like, okay.
Jordan (00:20):
Hello, Lindsay.
Hello.
Hi.
How are you doing?
Good.
I'm pretty good.
Good.
Feeling up to the brave task ofsharing your birth story?
Lindsay (00:30):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Quite interesting one.
Cool.
Yeah.
We all have an interesting one.
Yeah.
I don't think there's a birthstory that's not interesting.
Yeah.
And not similar to anyoneelse's.
At all.
Yeah.
We all.
Yeah.
I mean, there's like.
I think there
Jordan (00:45):
are lots of shared experiences for sure.
Yeah.
Yeah, definitely.
Lindsay (00:49):
So yeah, we have a birth story, I have, I've given
birth once, my daughter, she'llbe two this winter, so she's
only a year and a half, Butyeah, I feel like I remember it
like that yesterday.
Yeah, good.
I wonder how long that feelingwill be.
Jordan (01:03):
Do you
Lindsay (01:04):
remember yours like yesterday?
Jordan (01:05):
Most of it, yeah.
Like, some bits are really hazyand blocked out.
Not like blocked out, but like,I got very, very tired.
You've probably all heard mybreast story already.
It was long and grueling.
Yeah.
And I didn't sleep very much forlike three straight days.
I
Lindsay (01:18):
hope your next one's quick.
Yeah.
I mean like, quick andcomfortable.
Jordan (01:24):
Yeah.
I mean, I, like, at the end ofthe day, it's one of those
things that like, doesn'tmatter.
Sure.
Cause you're like, that
Lindsay (01:31):
was only How many hours was it?
39.
You're like, that was 39 hoursof my life.
I'm not gonna like dwell on it.
Yeah.
Jordan (01:39):
And like, I think I said, it's one of those
experiences where like, You haveno choice but to get through it.
Yep.
It's so true.
So you get through it.
Yes.
Lindsay (01:49):
You're so right.
You, that baby's coming out.
Jordan (01:51):
Yeah.
Totally.
And you want it to come out.
Of course.
And you want everything to go.
Yes.
So yes.
Lindsay (01:57):
Okay.
So the way mine came out.
Tell us.
Tell us all.
Oh, I was induced.
Yes.
Yes.
I went and took that route.
This wasn't my first choice.
I don't want to be induced.
I'm kind of like in the boatwith Jordan where, oh, medicine
and drugs just do me dirty.
(02:19):
And I'm not somebody that wantsto be medicated up.
I don't feel well when I'm thatmedicated up and pushing and
forcing things along.
But, here's the deal.
I Um, my daughter was supposedto be due December 23rd.
That is my birthday.
(02:42):
She's not getting born on mybirthday.
She could totally have been bornon my birthday.
But I really didn't want, Iwasn't sure if I, I would have
taken that sacrifice and shecould have been born on my
birthday and I would have gonethrough that pain and hell.
But.
I also didn't want to risk herbeing born on Christmas Day or
Christmas Eve.
Jordan (02:58):
And having all the Christmases and birthdays
stacked up like they are in yourfamily is already a little bit
of a bummer.
Yeah,
Lindsay (03:05):
my husband's birthday is just the week after.
And already Christmas has kindof felt like too much.
Like, yeah, I think
Jordan (03:12):
everyone thinks Christmas is too much.
Plus then two birthdays on topof it.
Now we have three.
Yeah.
So everyone understands.
Yeah.
And now we have
Lindsay (03:21):
three birthdays and, so I chose the induction route.
Just to separate that distanceas much as you could.
Yeah.
Yeah, I was like, you know, Ithink it'd be great to be home.
Hopefully be home by Christmaswith my newborn baby.
There's also
Jordan (03:35):
something to be said for like, maybe it didn't matter so
much for you, but would have forme, uh, getting, having that
birth on the same deductible aseverything else.
Oh, sure.
Making sure she didn't go intothe new year.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's what I would have beenthinking.
Yeah.
Lindsay (03:50):
Yeah.
Yeah, absolutely.
Um, so.
I got induced.
We went in.
We, okay, mind you, it'sChristmas.
Family's showing up.
We're getting all the thingsready.
It's kind of starting to feellike a whirlwind.
It doesn't really feel like it'sabout to happen.
That I'm going in to have a babybecause I'm hosting Christmas.
(04:13):
People are arriving.
What's the meal plan while I'mgone?
And then by hosting Christmas
Jordan (04:18):
she does mean, like, relatives staying.
Well, I guess they didn't stayat your house this time.
Yeah.
Typically they do.
I think that was
Lindsay (04:26):
like the first time we didn't
Jordan (04:27):
have them stay.
Yeah.
Makes sense.
Yeah.
But
Lindsay (04:30):
they were at
Jordan (04:30):
her house like all day every day.
Yeah.
And I was still in hosting mode.
Yeah.
Totally.
Yeah.
Lindsay (04:35):
I was not like, fully checked into about to have a
baby.
I just knew she was, you know,gonna arrive any day and gave
me, like, the butterflies andthe giddies, if you will.
Yeah.
Because I expected it and Iknew.
And you knew that the inductionday was coming up.
Which did, give me someone thathad, has the whole fear of the
unknown thing, like, somecomfort.
Jordan (04:54):
I'm sure.
Lindsay (04:56):
Yeah, there's some comfort there in like knowing,
okay, I'm going in the nightbefore to start the cervix
softening and all, all of theabove.
Okay.
So I eat my wonderful, likeenergy thriving meal for dinner
the night before.
I am supposed to go to thehospital the night before to
(05:16):
start the cervix softeningprocess.
Get my room, get all set up,spend the night in the hospital,
okay, we're probably going tohave the baby in the morning
sometime.
So I have my wonderful,delicious meal, my husband and I
are driving to the hospital,we're holding hands and we're
like, okay, this is all crazy,this is happening, yadda yadda
yadda.
get to the hospital, get allchecked in.
(05:38):
Everyone's very excited for usto be induced.
The nurse is excited to see methroughout, through the night.
The front desk chick is excitedfor me to fill out my paperwork.
We're all feeling giddy.
You know?
Yeah.
I'm there for about an hour.
And we start the cervixsoftening.
And, you know what I saidearlier?
(05:59):
You know what I said earlierthat my body is just like a
little sensitive to meds?
Oh, yeah.
This is a, like, kind of minormedication.
This is the first, like, minormedication that I'm about to,
like, start while I'm here atthis hospital.
And I am up on all fours with anintense contraction that would
not let up on my child.
(06:21):
So
Jordan (06:22):
after having taken the first medication, the first
Lindsay (06:25):
of, I think they were supposed to get four cervix
softening pills and I only gotone.
And it was
Jordan (06:29):
the cervix softener that made you like tighten.
Yeah.
I didn't
Lindsay (06:33):
get like any other kind of medication on board.
Nothing.
That was it.
And I was supposed to enjoy thatand sleep through the night.
However, minutes after havingMatt, I, I'm, How do they,
Jordan (06:45):
how do they give you that medication?
They
Lindsay (06:46):
insert it.
Oh, vaginal.
Into your vaginal.
Okay.
So, I am someone that works inhealthcare, so I'm watching all
of the monitors like a hawk.
And I know what's all happening,and I'm watching the monitor,
and the contraction won't letup.
And I'm like, um, uh, issomething wrong with the
(07:09):
equipment?
Because equipment issues are abig thing in the operating room
or maybe on the floor.
It's always the equipment that'swrong first.
However, I all of a sudden gotsuper nauseous.
Oh dear.
And I hit that red button andall of a sudden there were like
12 people in the room and theywere like on all fours and like
(07:29):
trying to get this contractionto let up.
So that's where you were on allfours.
Yes.
On the bed.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
So they have you in a certainposition.
I was laying down like normally.
Um, get it.
I had my cervix softener pilland ready to soften me up and
ready to relax.
And they were like, flip up onyour knees and hands, hands and
(07:51):
knees.
We got to get this likecontraction to lighten up.
So that's when the strong bedscame through.
So that's when I got a shot formaking the contraction stop.
I see.
So that sends your body throughan essentially like an
adrenaline rush and you shakeuncontrollably.
It's almost like you're so cold,like you're just uncontrollably
(08:14):
shaking.
And it takes some time for yourbody to come out of that
shaking.
I was definitely willing to havean emergency C section right
then and there.
I told everybody in the room,I'll do it.
Put me out.
I want her safe.
Let's go.
And I'm like, just know that Ijust ate.
They're like, okay.
Yeah.
So they're like, okay, uh, we'lljust, you know, now that you've
(08:36):
had to see what happens, theyget ahold of the OB is not there
at the hospital in the evenings,they're on call.
And so they're communicatingwith the OBGYN and, just no more
cervix happenings throughout thenight.
We'll start Pitocin later on.
So, we calm down from theshaking and then, you know, we
just kind of take a rest.
(08:57):
everyone's watching my vialspretty closely and watching the
contractions for a while just tomake sure that they're back on
track.
and these are like Braxton Hickscontractions, they're not like
serious.
Okay, not like laborcontractions.
But I think that for softeningpills, like started kicking them
into gear.
Hazy.
This is the part where it's hazyfor me because I was like,
(09:17):
Adrenaline rush?
What the hell just happened?
How do I, like, re frame mymindset from that to going
through the rest of the night?
Yeah, because I was fullyunexpected.
When am I going to expect, thestarting process of this all?
And how's it going to go nowthat I don't have cervical
softener?
So I was pretty, like, I wasasking, like, a lot of
questions, like, hey, how's mybody going to react to pitocin?
(09:40):
You know, what are thecocktails, I know, so they were
watching me pretty closelyhusbands like in and out of
sleep, I don't even rememberwhat time I got my pitocin,
somewhere in the middle of thenight, I don't know.
Like maybe before midnight.
I don't even remember.
Like my body had come down.
Did they give
Jordan (09:56):
it to you earlier than they were, than they had planned
because the cervical softenersweren't going to jive with you?
I
Lindsay (10:05):
don't know.
I don't remember.
Okay.
They probably did.
Cause they probably want to getthe process like going.
Cause they were like, okay,well, she's not going to have
this.
Then we may as well just start alittle dose.
Yeah.
Yeah, there's like all theselike random factors.
Obviously, that just goes toprove to show you that like
someone can go in for aninduction and things can change.
Yeah, like the trajectory andtheir schedule of their birth
(10:27):
can completely change the waythe night goes and the morning
goes the next day for staff.
So, at that point I was like,damn, that was when I really
wish I would have gone natural.
So I was having that like, kindof battle with like, what am I
doing?
Like, was this the right choicesort of thing?
Yeah.
So that's where I was just like,okay, you're in the hospital,
your daughter's gonna be here.
(10:47):
Yeah.
in the morning sometime,somewhere safe.
And I was just trying to talkmy, give myself like all the
truths in the situation.
And I was like, you are going tohave more births in your life.
You can reevaluate for thoselater.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, so I, at some point I gotPitocin.
I don't recall the time, like Isaid, but that kicked things
(11:10):
into gear quite fucking quickly.
Crazy.
I was expecting that to be anissue.
ease into contractions and easeinto the whole labor process.
Dude, I couldn't get a breath inbetween contractions.
What?
That's the same.
They were like every 30 seconds.
I mean, they went from likeminutes to like every 30 seconds
(11:31):
pretty quickly.
And I was like, my breathing, Ican't let, you know, I was just
getting like more frustrating.
Yeah.
And here's the thing aboutgoing.
in at night time that I wish Iwould have had a Maybe like a
doula for I wish I probably Iwas complaining about having a
doula with this pregnancy goingback and forth That's something
that's not covered in insurance.
(11:52):
It's another expense I alreadyworked, I've worked in a
healthcare field in that, inthat setting for so, so long
that I like justified not havingone, but when I went, yeah, but
I would, because I went in atnight, there's not as many staff
on the, on board per patient asthere is during the day.
And so you have one nurse tohowever many patients.
(12:15):
Mm hmm.
And so I felt some semi lonely.
Oh, so.
I had my husband there and I wasbreathing.
But like, I didn't have thatperson to kind of like, calm me
down when my mind starts racing.
Like, what am I doing?
Should I have like had a naturalbirth or how can someone remind
me to chill and breathe in 30second break?
(12:36):
Kind of a thing.
Like I just didn't have like the30 seconds.
I did not have a break to catchmy breath.
And so I had to give into theepidural.
Yeah.
I really tried really hard.
And I was also being in amindset, being cautious for that
anesthesiologist.
Yeah.
And their timing.
(12:56):
Yeah.
And not thinking about myselfand like when I really needed
the epidural.
Which
Jordan (13:02):
is the tricky part, probably, of working in
healthcare fields.
Yeah, because I'm like,
Lindsay (13:05):
okay, if I wake them, I don't know if it's he or she on,
I haven't, well, I mean, I metthem when I had to be up on all
fours.
Yeah.
And it was a dude and I waslike, I don't want to wake him
up right now because if I wakehim up right now, he's not going
to be able to fall back to sleepfor the rest of the night.
Very thoughtful.
I know.
So that's what's like, isn'tthat, that's crazy.
(13:26):
How like my mind like wentthere.
I was that checked out of my ownlike body because I couldn't get
my breath like under control.
I was like, I'm not hereanymore.
So that kind of like, I just, Ireflect a lot on that and I look
and like figure out like, okay.
They.
It's their job to be up allnight long and it's their job to
(13:50):
fall right back to sleep ifthey've been up.
Like they,
Jordan (13:54):
that's what they're trained to do.
Yeah.
Lindsay (13:56):
Yeah.
So like when I went ahead andmade the call for the epidural,
like I said, I forgot, I don'teven remember what time, but I
made sure it was on time thatthey could fall back to sleep.
Do
Jordan (14:05):
they, do
Lindsay (14:05):
they sleep at the hospital
Jordan (14:07):
and
Lindsay (14:07):
they're just on call and they're not there?
Typically they do if they have,like, depends on like the cases
and who, what's going on Whatpatients might need them like on
the OB floor night that's, or ifthey live close by at home.
I would've just thought therewas an anesthesiologist awake at
the hospital all night long.
the hospitalist is, hmm, for themost part.
The hospitalist?
The hospitalist.
(14:27):
So there's always a hospitalistand they're, they're the person,
oh, you should look into thisjob.
I would love to be ahospitalist, I think.
So they're kind of like the onesthat they can make the call with
all the teams of like what tomove.
They're the coordinators?
Yeah.
Yeah.
But I, I don't know what I wassaying, but, um, So you woke up
the anesthesiologist as well.
I did, I woke him.
How rude.
(14:49):
I was like, okay, now's thetime.
I can't get my breath undercontrol.
And now we're pretty intensehere.
Uh huh.
Um, and yeah, I, uh, things justlike, we're moving so fast and,
Um, Can catch my breath andneeded the relief and I finally
when I got that relief I Was sograteful for some rest I'm sure
(15:11):
I'm sure that's how I felt toobut it it did you know it sucks
too because at the same time Ifelt like that's when I was
asking the nurse to Help me likemove from side to side more Now
I need all of you to help meout.
Yeah As much as I'm resting andgetting like my space You No, I
need your help.
Uh, so, So they helped me in,but they kept my spirits up, my
(15:34):
nighttime nurse was wonderful,and she was really hoping that
she could, you know, my childwas going to arrive before she
had to leave for her shift, butthat did not happen.
But then morning crew comes in,everyone's excited.
I'm stoked.
Yeah.
The teams at the hospital are sogreat.
I have had experience working onthe OB floor, like with, uh,
when I have to come up and dolike C sections and stuff.
(15:56):
And man, everyone that's on theOB floor.
happy angels, like ready, readyfor anything.
They're so happy.
Yeah, yeah.
They really are ready foreverything, anything.
So great place to be in thedaytime.
had much better experience andmore positive vibes and really
felt the love and theencouragement and the, during
(16:16):
the whole process of things whenthey were really moving along.
My OB had his hospital day.
So my induction was meant forhis hospital day so that he
could potentially be the guy todeliver.
And I felt comfortable withthat.
Yeah.
I have, we go, uh, Jordan and Igo to the same kind of group of
OBs.
I've met multiple of them and Ifelt comfortable to go with
(16:39):
multiple of them if he couldn'tdo it.
He did stay in the operatingroom because our timing for
pushing was when operations werestarting.
Yeah, he, he was in thehospital, but he was not the
gentleman to like deliverbecause his surgery schedule was
there and those patients thatneed him to, for that too.
(17:00):
So slightly bummed that we justhad to call in a partner, took
the partner a little bit.
The nurses were like, Oh, shouldwe give her another dose of like
this med, these medications forher epidural because there's a
possibility she might be pushingand it might run out of time.
And I was like, I don't wantthat to happen.
Yeah.
I don't want to be a full 10CCs.
(17:21):
You know, all of a sudden Ididn't feel that go from nothing
to feeling it.
Yeah.
That'd be tough.
Yeah.
Why were they, why were
Jordan (17:28):
they talking about not giving you more though?
Lindsay (17:30):
The timing of it they wanted to possibly like give
another dose of it so that mytiming because I had to wait for
a part his Partner to come tothe hospital.
Oh So you might not have hadlike a doctor in time if they
correct if I was pushing rightand the epidural ran out Got it.
Does that make sense?
Yeah So I didn't want that tohappen.
(17:52):
I was like, put it on the tab.
I'm not going from Let's getanother round.
I'm like, I'm not going from notfeeling to feeling at all.
In the midst of pushing.
Especially not
Jordan (18:05):
after your experiences the night, like through the
night with the Pitocin and theCervical Softener.
I'm sure that felt, that made itfeel more intimidating.
Yeah.
Lindsay (18:14):
I, you know, I even practiced like the whole hypno
birthing thing like uh, the lastfew weeks and just trying to get
like get my breath under controlat home and to really practice
that and the pitocin was sostrong for me.
You're just like, goodbye.
Yeah, it was like okay, I'm not,I can't catch my breath and here
we go.
We need to We need to actuallygo for this.
So, didn't have the naturalbirth, got the induction, like,
(18:39):
got all the meds on board that Iliterally, like, wasn't planning
on having, but I am alsosomebody that was, like, willing
to plan A out the door.
I want, I just want my childsafe, sound, I don't care what
kind of torture I need to, like,continue here.
Yeah.
She came like within a half hourafter that.
(19:01):
What?
I'm fairly certain.
Jordan (19:02):
Yeah.
So were you pushing?
So I actually probably didn't,
Lindsay (19:04):
I don't know if I, yes, I don't know.
Yeah, it was.
I don't even know if I reallyneeded the epidural, but the
nurses were making me feel likeI did.
Okay.
Jordan (19:10):
So wait, so like the night goes on, you get your
epidural.
Yeah, the morning staff comesin.
You're still
Lindsay (19:16):
on Pitocin.
Yes, morning staff comes in.
Morning staff comes in all readyto go.
All giddy and they're like,Your, your doctor is staying in
the surgery.
We are calling his partner tocome in.
And he comes in.
But we need you to push a coupleof times.
Okay, so you started pushingbefore the doctor got there.
Jordan (19:30):
Yes.
Yeah.
And then, like, they gave youmore epidural.
During the,
Lindsay (19:33):
during the pushing they're like,
Jordan (19:34):
Eventually he arrives.
Lindsay (19:36):
And that's what, yeah.
Yeah, he comes, he arrives, thenlike his assistants are there
and
Jordan (19:42):
okay.
So, you weren't, like, pushingfor half an hour before the
doctor got there.
Okay.
Lindsay (19:46):
No.
I just had to wait, oh, whichfelt like forever for him to get
home.
Did you feel the urge to pushwhile you were waiting?
No, not at all.
No.
Not with, yeah.
Even with having like theepidural and everything, I
didn't feel an urge to push.
They were just telling me to doit.
I was like, okay, I'll do it.
Jordan (20:01):
And that's, and you got her out just fine without even
like feeling the urge.
Yeah.
Wild.
Cause I totally had the urge topush.
Yeah.
And it was strong.
Yeah.
It felt intense.
Lindsay (20:10):
Yeah.
So, when he got there, then itwas like game on, we're pushing.
Yeah.
And so Andrew was up at the legwith me, with the other nurse
and.
They were put, they werecheering me on and push, push,
push.
I think I was bearing down and Ididn't even know I was bearing
down cause I couldn't feelanything.
And that's what you're notsupposed to do.
Correct.
And that's how I, that's how Itore.
(20:31):
so I tore and luckily he told mewhen he, uh, Um, she come ups on
my chest and she, she's here,we're holding her and we're
taking pictures quickly beforeshe goes off with the nurses.
And then at that point when shewent off with the nurses to get
like measured and you know,situated and yeah, that's when I
pushed the placenta out and thatwas like, they were like, you do
(20:53):
not have to push really hard forthis, like in
Jordan (20:55):
general or just for you.
So I'm curious about, uh, ingeneral, they
Lindsay (20:59):
just told me in general, like you don't have to
do really hard.
Yeah.
Just head out.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So that came out all in onepiece, which I'm so grateful
for.
Sometimes our placentas can getchipped or, you know, not
chipped but like pieced and thenyou got a piece that's left in
you and that can cause severetoxicity and like sepsis and all
(21:21):
that.
But that all came out in onenice thing.
chunk, if you will.
Yum.
Yeah, not my favorite part of,like, the whole process.
But they did ask me if I wantedto see, when I was pushing with
the doctor, just before thedoctor got there, the nurses
were like, do you want a mirror?
And I was like, absolutely not.
Because a lot of, like, a lot ofmoms want to see what's going on
(21:42):
and that might encourage themto, and I was like, no, I think
it would freak me out even more.
Yeah, I think I would say no tothat, too.
Because if I, like, saw herhead, I'd be like, she's not
breathing, or like, you know.
Yeah, totally.
So I, I passed on the mirror.
I don't want to look, I justwant to focus on like, her
coming out safely.
So yeah.
Placenta, then stitching, Ithink I had stage two, rupture
(22:04):
from pushing her and he, put inextra stitches that I did not
know about at the time.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
He told me at the time that Iripped or that I had a stage two
rupture.
Yeah.
which I was like, fine.
That's normal typically for afirst time.
Yeah.
Mom.
Mm-Hmm.
and thank God it's not a stagefour Yeah.
I was like, stage three or stagefour would probably just be
(22:26):
like, fuck.
Um, but I was grateful that itwas a Sage two.
So he was telling me like whathe's all doing, which I
appreciate.
However, I didn't know he wasputting extra stitches in.
Yeah, that's a bummer.
Not the best feeling.
Uh, to heal.
So that got brought up, aroundmy six week appointment.
(22:48):
Cause I was like, this isn'tlike feeling good.
This is feeling a little tightand like really sore.
Cause I'm swollen fromdelivering vaginally and
bruised.
Yeah.
This is like, this like tensionwith these extra stitches is
like ruining me.
Um, yeah.
You know, you can do all thelike the numbing cream and like
the ice packs you want but Itwas like sending me over the
(23:11):
edge.
And so we had that discussion atthe six week.
And how did that go?
It did not go as well as Iwanted it to Our group is
supposed to have a mental nurseon staff And she was not part of
that appointment.
I really wish she was I thinkit's really important to have
You A mental health nurse atthose six week checkups, you
(23:32):
know, to really dive in becauseyou're really these six week
checkups here in America arelike.
Okay, you're all healed or yep,uh, you may, you might need to
wait a little bit longer forphysical activity, whether you,
you know, and I got the okay todo physical activity except not
ride a bike for a couple moreweeks if I need, if I was a
cycler or sure.
And he was like, yeah.
are you ready for birth control?
(23:52):
You know what?
and you're just like, what areyou talking about?
I am not having sex, but like,yeah, there are couples out
there that do and don't want a
Jordan (24:01):
baby right away.
Immediately.
Yeah.
I mean, and I get that.
I wouldn't want to get pregnantweeks after I just delivered,
but like at the same time Iwouldn't, yeah, I'm with you on
the, like, it wasn't reallyready to have sex.
Yeah.
For months.
Lindsay (24:15):
Yeah.
So anyways, like that all hadsomething to do with like
postpartum anxiety andpostpartum depression moments
too.
And now I'm just reflecting alot and journaling a lot about
my experience and like what I'velearned.
It's very interesting.
as somebody that has worked inhealthcare field, I, one thing I
was really worried about waspaying attention too much to
(24:37):
everyone else and what their jobdid a little bit.
I was fairly nervous that I wasjust going to be paying
attention to like everythingthat they were doing and not
feeling checked in at all withmyself.
Semi.
True.
That happened to me.
I was really afraid that it wasall going to be all my attention
was going to be on staff.
(24:59):
It really wasn't.
That's good.
yeah.
So just being a healthcareworker, I was just very like
aware, more aware than likemaybe somebody that isn't.
Like they didn't even give methe option to have her when I
was up on all fours and I, and Itold them I will do this right
now.
And they were like, Oh, okay.
Like they didn't even likemention it first to me.
I mentioned it to them.
Yeah.
Cause I knew that that was asituation that they were
(25:20):
contemplating thinking about.
Yeah.
Um, so just like things likethat came in handy, but also
like.
Like I said, I just kind of wishI had had, more of support
understanding what my body wasgoing through.
Jordan (25:35):
Sure.
Lindsay (25:36):
Yeah.
Than understanding what my bodywas going to go through with
medication.
Sure.
Jordan (25:41):
Yeah, that's something they should definitely like talk
to.
I mean, obviously no one wasgonna, no one could have
predicted that your cervicalsoftening medication would have
created such a reaction.
But yeah, yeah, yeah, that'swild.
And that's, yeah, as part of howlike medication can be like a
little freaky, but at the sametime, you got to trust that you
are doing the right thing andthat your team's there and
(26:01):
everything like that.
Lindsay (26:03):
so anyways, that's my crazy, weird, short, but like
intense aftermath.
That it gave.
So how long
Jordan (26:11):
do you feel like you, it took you to kind of process the
birth, or do you think you'restill processing?
Just over a year.
Wow.
Yeah.
That's no joke, man.
Yeah, because
Lindsay (26:21):
I feel like I.
wasn't going to be ready to tryagain.
Yeah.
because we ended up getting, wedid get pregnant.
I talked about, I've shared itwith this on here.
We did get pregnant.
Um, when my daughter was sevenmonths old and I had that gnarly
miscarriage that fall.
So after that miscarriage, I wasstill in the process of
(26:44):
processing and healing from mybirth.
and the aftermath of my birthand, it definitely was a year
and a half.
And then I was like, okay, yeah,I think I'm there.
I think I'm ready to like, moveforward now.
And I've done my reflecting.
I know what my plan is for thenext time.
And I know that there's going tobe a plan A, plan B and C and D,
maybe E.
(27:05):
Yeah.
But like, I definitely, um,wanted to make sure that the
induction was not going to be afirst choice again.
So I was like, if we could tryto not have a baby around
Christmas time, that would
Jordan (27:17):
be good.
Oh God.
Yeah.
I bet.
So how do you feel now havinghad an induct?
I mean, obviously like yourexperience with induction is
probably a lot different tosomebody's experience who, You
know, I didn't have a reactionto the medication and like just
had a nice positive thing.
But are there any other things,that would keep you from having
(27:37):
an induction again?
Like what are your generalfeelings about being induced for
the next one?
Lindsay (27:41):
I think just knowing the fact that if my next one is
not due around a significantholiday is going to bring me
down a huge notch of like I canbe more chill to go in with a
natural and experience all that.
I am a okay to do an epiduralagain.
That I'm okay with having, but Ireally will probably like, I'll
(28:02):
have the chance to breathe andpractice the whole contractions
thing.
Because they'll come slowly.
Yeah, I didn't experience thecontractions.
Yeah, I went into the hospitaland the first contraction I
experienced I was up on allfours and it wouldn't let up on
her So it was immediately likekind of like traumatizing to
having a contraction Yeah So Iwas like waiting for the next
contraction throughout all ofthat time to do it again And I
(28:25):
was watching that damn monitorlike okay, it's letting up good.
We can move on to the next oneOkay, this one's letting up Okay
Like I was literally justwatching the monitor to make
sure that the contraction wasnot gonna hold on her
Jordan (28:38):
Yeah.
Lindsay (28:38):
And so I feel like that probably had me
Jordan (28:40):
checked out.
Lindsay (28:41):
Yeah.
Or checked
Jordan (28:42):
into a very different place than you thought you'd be
checked into.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So you'll avoid an induction inthe future.
Yeah.
I'm gonna try.
If you can.
Yeah.
Lindsay (28:51):
Yeah.
I'm gonna try.
Jordan (28:53):
Cool.
So.
Crazy.
Crazy.
Crazy.
Lindsay (28:56):
I'm glad that you were able to process
Jordan (28:57):
it all in the end.
Yeah,
Lindsay (28:59):
it
Jordan (28:59):
takes a while though.
Was there anything inparticular, like I'm sure there
are plenty of listeners outthere who had a crazy birth
story and they did a lot ofprocessing themselves.
Was there any specific, like,thing that you did that you
think helped to actually getthat processing done?
Yeah, my therapist.
Like, going through each
Lindsay (29:15):
step of my situation with my therapist.
Just each literal step.
Jordan (29:20):
Individual therapist?
Yeah.
Or did you do this with yourcouples therapist too?
Lindsay (29:23):
Um, my couples therapist understands like the
big moments and the, and the,and the outside factors that
were going on to understand mydepth of my situation being kind
of like big, but my individualtherapist was definitely my
helper and.
Jordan (29:39):
And the process.
Yep.
Happened there.
Lindsay (29:40):
And I really had to like go through each step in my
mind slowly.
I mean, I'm sure.
One month at a time almost.
Yeah.
Okay.
Let's just talk about me askingme being worried about the
answers, just being awake.
Like, let's let's process that.
Break this down.
Jordan (29:58):
Like, move on.
You know.
Yeah.
Yeah, for sure.
I mean, I was really thoughtfulof you.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, thank you.
Thank you for sharing yourstory.
Yeah.
That's my little birth story.
I'm excited to have another oneto share.
Lindsay (30:14):
I know! Interesting to see if he arrives, like, on
Halloween day or just beforeand, like, Oh, I hope it's,
like, just before.
Jordan (30:22):
Just before
Lindsay (30:23):
would be
Jordan (30:23):
great.
Oh.
Yeah.
So fun.
Lindsay (30:25):
I think it will if, if, if your daughter came early.
Jordan (30:29):
Yeah.
It would make sense.
Yep.
Lindsay (30:31):
Usually, and then the second birth is typically
quicker than the first.
Yeah.
Jordan (30:34):
Yeah.
Crazy.
Crazy to think about.
How many more?
Lindsay (30:38):
Do we, are we even asking the question how many
more Saturdays until?
No, let's not.
Oh my god, too
Jordan (30:44):
much.
I can't.
Oh gosh,
Lindsay (30:48):
it's just around the quarter.
That's all we need to know.
Jordan (30:50):
Yeah, my third trimester starts tomorrow.
Crazy.
No.
Wow.
It's insane.
Lindsay (30:58):
Here we go.
You're past like the rumoredbest trimester.
I guess it's rumored that yoursecond trimester is like the
best.
I feel like mine was probablythe, uh, mine was the first time
Jordan (31:11):
for sure.
Lindsay (31:11):
Yeah.
Jordan (31:12):
But yeah.
Anyway, thanks for joining ineverybody.
Um, first
Lindsay (31:19):
story.
If you have any questions aboutany of that, please let me know.
I can go into more depth.
Jordan (31:25):
Yeah.
And we'll talk to you all soon.
Give us a follow, likesubscribe.
We have kid pod, we have kidpodcast.
We have the kids.
Jesus Christ.
Lindsay (31:35):
Can you tell that Jordan's almost in her third
trimester?
She's checked
Jordan (31:41):
up.
Yep.
It's nap time.
Yep.
Alright, cool.
Yeah, we'll talk to you allsoon.
Okay, bye.
Cheers, bye.
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