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September 2, 2025 75 mins

One of the hottest topics in mental health is attachment theory, which is a psychological framework that posits that the way we bond to our primary caregivers creates a template for how we’ll move through relationships as adults.  It goes like this: 

We learn how to love and how to get our needs met through the care we received from our primary caregivers. The extent to which they fulfilled our needs informs how we will then express our needs as adults and how we’ll respond to the needs of those closest to us, particularly, our partners.

When it comes to living experts in the field of attachment theory, there is no one more respected than today’s guest. 

Dr. Diane Poole Heller is an international expert and pioneer in attachment theory. 

She is the author of The Power of Attachment: How to Create Deep and Lasting Relationships — a book that I make most of my clients read at some point during our work. 

Dr. Heller is the Creator of DARe: a training and certification program for therapists that teaches them how to apply attachment theory into their clinical work, and she joins me to shed light on how we can all move towards developing a secure attachment style, regardless of the attachment style we emerged from childhood with. 

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • The 4 different attachment styles and how each develops in childhood.

  • How our attachment style influences the way we behave in our adult relationships. 

  • Practical tools for healing attachment wounds and moving towards a secure attachment style. 

  • How partners with different attachment styles can reduce conflict and misunderstandings.

Xxoo Darcy

REFERENCES

www.alternativescounseling.com

Attachment Theory Quiz

https://traumasolutions.com/

https://dianepooleheller.com/

The Power of Attachment: How to Create Deep and Lasting Relationships 

Diane Poole Heller, PHD

https://amzn.to/3CnxXUp

The Verdict Is In  By: Alan Sroufe and Daniel Siegel

https://drdansiegel.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/1271-the-verdict-is-in-1.pdf

CREDITS

This episode of “We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” was produced by Darcy Sterling, with editorial support from Vicki Vergolina. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani, Stephanie Sterling and Preston Smith. “We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. 

 

DISCLAIMER


Instagram:@drdarcysterling 

Facebook:Dr.Darcy Sterling

Tik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  

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YouTube:@DarcySterling   

Threads:@drdarcysterling

Watch this episode here on YouTube.

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