What We Do in the Shadows (2014)

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Ever wondered what happens when four vampires share a flat in Wellington, New Zealand? Taika Waititi and Jemaine Clement's mockumentary masterpiece answers this question with hilarious results, creating one of the most quotable and genuinely funny comedies of the past decade.

Listen to us discuss one of our favorite comedies!

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Music produced by Joey Prosser. X @mrjoeyprosser

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello and welcome to the we Recommend podcast, a
movie podcast where every week,we recommend a movie for you to
watch and then come back hereand listen to us discuss.
I'm Jesse, I'm Jason.
Leave me to do my dark biddingon the internet.
Oh, what are you bidding on?
I'm bidding on a table Becausethis week we recommend what we
Do in the shadows.

(00:21):
Hell yeah, baby, one of thefunniest movies ever, oh man.
So what do you think of themovie?
I know it's one of your faves.
I've only seen it once beforethis time.

(00:43):
Who doesn't freaking love it?

Speaker 2 (00:44):
It's so good what we do in the shadows and the song
that they you're dead, you'redead so when my youngest
daughter was a toddler and shewas learning to speak, we were
watching this show and she lovedthat song so much so she starts
singing it everywhere we go.

Speaker 1 (01:05):
She's like you're dead, you're dead, you're dead,
you're dead all the time she'slike please, please, don't play
this, just don't sing this likein your school.
Just randomly you go to afuneral, she's easy you're dead.

Speaker 2 (01:21):
You're dead like stop it yeah, she loves that shit
and she told my mom that shewants to be a witch hell yeah,
when she grows up.
I was like fuck yeah, girl niceyou got a cool kid.

Speaker 1 (01:31):
You bought her like tarot cards and stuff, right?

Speaker 2 (01:33):
no, no, no, those weren't for her, but those are,
those are for Ashley my life, mylife, yeah, so um Taika, taika
Waititi you know it's TaikaWaititi.

Speaker 1 (01:44):
He's from New Zealand .
Man didn't realize how much Ilove New Zealand.
Shit right.
This Lord of the Rings likethat one show that I can't think
of Well I mean, and also MelGibson movie Apocalypto.

(02:04):
No, fuck me and that asshole.

Speaker 2 (02:11):
Okay's, you can just edit that part out, actually
gonna enhance it.
No, the the what's the onewhere he's the freedom oh, that
was also filmed in new zealand.
Oh cool, I'm brave'm brave forit.
Part of it was Anyway, anyway,that was a lot.

Speaker 1 (02:27):
Yeah, that was a lot, so I love.
The thing I love aboutTakabatidi is his awkward comedy
.
Or is this like offbeat, dry,small comedy?
That's just hilarious.
Yeah, it's like becauseeverybody, you know they just
like they're taking their lifeso seriously but they're all
just doing something so dumb.

Speaker 2 (02:49):
Right.
Yes, I think one of my favoritejokes from this movie is when
they throw the scarf in theriver and they're like, oh, stu
would love that it wasn't evenhis scarf.

Speaker 1 (03:00):
It was a loose knit scarf.
I mean we're werewolves, notswearwolves.
I mean it's just like it'snothing but hitters.
I think we drink virgin bloodbecause it sounds cool.
I think of it like this Ifyou're going to eat a sandwich,

(03:21):
you would just enjoy it more ifyou knew no one had fucked it.

Speaker 2 (03:24):
Which is true.

Speaker 1 (03:26):
I mean, come on, it's just.
I think it's just like Taikareally just had something
special.
Have you seen his movie Eaglevs Shark?
That was the first one I saw.
No, it's got Tremaine.
What the fuck.

Speaker 2 (03:38):
That sounds amazing.

Speaker 1 (03:39):
Well, it's just like a very, very awkward movie and
it's just like a very, veryawkward movie and it's just like
two really awkward peoplefalling in love.
Jermaine Clement's in it andhe's like he's incredible.
He's such a dick in it.

Speaker 2 (03:53):
It was like uncomfortable when I first
watched it.

Speaker 1 (04:00):
Because luckily I've gotten better at watching it.
The only thing I haven'twatching things like this.
The only movie of his I haven'tseen has been a movie called
Boy.
That was his first like big,like his first big boy was his
first movie where like peoplewere like shit.
This guy's got something youknow as a director Never heard
of it, and then he did.
You know what we do in theshadows?
He was also doing Flight of theConchords at that time.

Speaker 2 (04:23):
And did he also do.
Our Flag Means Death.
Yeah, like much later.

Speaker 1 (04:27):
Cause he did that.
Show's good what we Do in theShadows, then Hunt for the
Wilder People.

Speaker 2 (04:32):
Great.
What we Do in the Shadows Mightbe One of my favorite TV series
ever made.
Yeah, it really is.

Speaker 1 (04:38):
Like it really Like the last Season was great and
then it was just like all right,let's end it and the last
episode's like you just ended it.

Speaker 2 (04:46):
Did they really?

Speaker 1 (04:47):
Yeah, it's over.
What Did you not watch the lastseason?

Speaker 2 (04:50):
I don't think we're done with it yet.
Oh fuck, Sorry.

Speaker 1 (04:53):
Well, it's over, okay .
And then you got.
He did Ragnarok, probably likethe best, one of the best Marvel
movies, jojo Rabbit, great.
That's why he won his firstOscar.
He did.

Speaker 2 (05:03):
Ragnarok.
Of course, the Screaming Ghostsare hilarious.

Speaker 1 (05:07):
Yeah, well, yeah, then he did Love and Thunder.
Wait, wait, is that Love andThunder?
Yeah, Ragnarok's the one wherehe's fighting Thor, jeff
Goldblum's heir, or where he'sfighting Hulk, jeff Goldblum's
heir, and then Flag means death.
Death then Thor, love andThunder.
And I also haven't seen NextGoal Wins, but that was like a

(05:27):
movie that got interrupted byCOVID.

Speaker 2 (05:31):
I loved Our Flag Means Death.
It's such a great show but likethe fact that, like they took
the idea of how men on the seawould just do homosexual stuff,
just blow each other all thetime yeah.
But it was still consideredkind of like bad.
Yeah, they would just rape theboys.

(05:52):
Yeah, I like the direction hewent with it, where everyone's
just openly gay.

Speaker 1 (06:00):
And really nice.

Speaker 2 (06:02):
And like happy people .

Speaker 1 (06:03):
Yeah, it's wonderful.
It's like, hey, what if we tookthe worst elements of it?
And just like try to make itnot terrible to watch.

Speaker 2 (06:11):
You look like a man who enjoys a soft garment, yeah.

Speaker 1 (06:15):
Because, like, wasn't it just from like listening to
podcasts or whatever?
Like it was one of those thingswhere they always like they'd
have somebody on the boat thatwould like give blowjobs to guys
and everybody knew that was athing, but if you were seen
doing it they'd like kill you orsomething, but it was,
everybody was getting it.
So it's like guys like figureout, are you just gonna?

Speaker 2 (06:37):
let a guy blow you, or are you not?

Speaker 1 (06:39):
gonna let a guy blow you.
Just be cool guys like.
If you run into it, be like I,I got next.

Speaker 2 (06:48):
Because they outlawed women on ships, because it's
bad luck.
Yeah, what'd you think wasgonna happen?
Yeah right.
Everybody's got it Noteverybody can have a turn with
the milk goat.

Speaker 1 (06:55):
Yeah, yikes, milk goat.
Yeah, so you got JermaineClement.
You know, everybody knows him Alot of the concords.
He's also in like a billionother things.
Yeah, tyke already went throughum deacon's played by johnny
bruh, which I don't really Ican't think of what else he's
really been in.
I know he's in thor, love andthunder as like a small

(07:15):
character, nice outside of that.
You know, it's just in a bunchof you know, like movies from
new zealand and stuff and I wasstuff and our boy, our boy Stu,
should we dive?
in on some things.
I got about Stu.
So Stu, played by StuRutherford, had not played a
primary acting role in a movieprior to appearing in this one.

(07:36):
He was an extra and boy.
Stu was a part-time businessanalyst for a Wellington company
.
He was hired for the film underthe impression that he would be
working on computers and thathe would play a small part in
the film.

Speaker 2 (07:50):
And he ends up as the heart of the fucking movie
Everybody loves him so much.

Speaker 1 (07:54):
And by the end of the movie, like when we're like Stu
he died.
I'm like genuinely sad about itand then it's like he comes in
and it's like let's fucking goStu.

Speaker 2 (08:07):
That's my guy, but he brings them all together.

Speaker 1 (08:10):
Yeah, it's so sweet oh fantastic.
Oh, I love jackie's character,her transformation throughout
the movie.
Yeah, she's just like, oh, I'mnever gonna get turned.
And then it's like my husband,I, I'm his master now.
Oh that's her husband.
Yeah, like that becomes herfamiliar, yeah.

Speaker 2 (08:32):
Oh, I didn't know.

Speaker 1 (08:34):
At the end of the movie I almost missed that part
At the end it's not like thevery oh, I think it's mainly
during like the credits.

Speaker 2 (08:40):
There's like some extra stuff during the credits.

Speaker 1 (08:42):
I didn't watch the credits.
Jeez, guys, you just won't givecredit to anybody around here.
So this is, this is our firstvampire movie, right?
I think so.
Is it like weird that it's likethe best vampire?
So when I think about vampire,if you're like, hey, do you want

(09:02):
to watch Interview with theVampire?
What we do in the shadows,dracula, twilight or Well, I
don't know If I put Lost Boys inthere that's actually going to
be tough to pick.

Speaker 2 (09:12):
Man, I haven't seen that one all the way through
Lost Boys.

Speaker 1 (09:15):
I used to watch it as a kid.
It's like how would I put it?
Fantastic, it's so of its time.
And ridiculous Vampire'splaying fucking saxophone Hell
yeah, it's so of its time andridiculous Vampires playing
fucking saxophone Hell yeah.
It's everything you need.
I'm trying to think you got theJohn Carpenter's vampires which
you just got a shit.

(09:36):
What's his name?

Speaker 2 (09:38):
Wood, something, wood , it's better than Dracula dead
and loving it.

Speaker 1 (09:42):
Me and Natalie actually rewatched that recently
and I thought it was like itwas fun, what are the best my
favorite guy he's in that onehe's in John Carpenter's
vampires.
It's like he's just like afucking cool guy.

Speaker 2 (09:58):
Oh it's one of those type of movies go ahead sorry no
, like Dracula dead and Lovingit when the lady is like
floating away and he's like justwalk or something and she's
yeah, I don't remember shitabout that, that one.

Speaker 1 (10:15):
We kind of watched it , I think we put it on like
around like 10 pm and it's justlike that's a good time to watch
that one.
Come on, let's put some jokesin here.
That land, but I still liked it.
Just the jokes weren't landing.
It's hard, alright.
So for this film, about 125hours of footage was shot, most

(10:37):
of which was improvisation fromthe cast.
The process of editing thatdown to a 90 minute movie took
almost a year.
The directors have stated thatthey are considering making all
the footage available online sothat fans can edit their own
version.
Fucking cool, that's prettyawesome 125 hours on a 90 minute
movie.

Speaker 2 (10:54):
I kind of like that idea Make your own movie with
the shit we've already filmed.
Yeah, that's kind of cool, thatstuff with who?

Speaker 1 (11:03):
God I can't remember anybody's name today the guy
from that's his toe for graceLike he.
He like reedited the prequelsand stuff like that to like make
them decent.

Speaker 2 (11:15):
That would be a cool idea for a competition, like an
editing competition, stevenSoderbergh, who did like Ocean's
Eleven and all those movies.

Speaker 1 (11:22):
He edited Indiana Jones to make it a black and
white silent film.
Nice, it's kind of cool.
Yeah, I think they should putit on.
I just would watch the footageI hope it's completely unedited
footage and everything Just so Icould watch, like them laughing
at their own jokes, becausethat's what you know, if it's

(11:43):
improvised, that's probably allthey're doing is just laughing.
It's 125 hours of just a bunchof New Zealanders like.
Oh.
Interesting fact, the buildingused for the exterior shots of
the vampire's house used to bePeter Jackson's office.
It's Peter Jackson, lord of theRings in New Orleans, new
Zealand, new Orleans.
Same.
He might have done somethingthere For more Lord of the Rings

(12:04):
in New Orleans, new Zealand,new Orleans.
Same.
He might have done somethingthere for more Lord of the Rings
facts.
The hill where the vampireshave a run in with the
werewolves is the same hillfilmed in the Lord of the Rings
Fellowship of the Ring, whereFrodo and the hobbits are
running from the black rider andhiding under the roots of the
tree oh interesting and it lookslike it's like next to a road
they just pulled over off theside of the road yeah.

Speaker 2 (12:26):
It's like a bunch of hey, get in there, you short
boys.

Speaker 1 (12:32):
So the movie initially didn't do very well in
its homeland, new Zealand, sodistribution to the United
States was canceled.
The directors were able tobring screenings of the film to
the USA after a successfulKickstarter fundraising campaign
, where it eventually became themost pirated movie of the year.
Pirated, pirated, yeah, peoplejust watched it online for free
Sucks, because it could havemade a lot of money.

Speaker 2 (12:54):
Yeah, I don't pirate things anymore, mostly because I
don't know how it used to beeasy.

Speaker 1 (13:04):
So the key influences for the writers were the Lost
Boys.
Dracula the 1992 Gary Oldmanversion so, like Deacon, was a
character from Lost Boys, thisis the way he was.
Dracula that was Vlad'scharacter was based off Gary
Oldman in that oh nice Interviewwith a Vampire.
Viego was based off Gary Oldmanin that oh nice interview with

(13:25):
a vampire.

Speaker 2 (13:26):
Uh, viego was based off of that um wait which one.
Which character?
Taika Viego, I know, but likewhich one in?

Speaker 1 (13:34):
interview.
Oh, I can't.
I would assume it was probablyTom Cruise's character, or maybe
it was Brad Pitt's, I don'tknow.
There's two of them that theycould be.

Speaker 2 (13:41):
Which one's?
In your opinion, who's thegayest vampire in Interview with
the Vampire?

Speaker 1 (13:46):
It's definitely Tom Cruise.

Speaker 2 (13:51):
Not Antonio Banderas.

Speaker 1 (13:53):
Oh shit, I forgot he was in there that movie, kind of
fucking rips dude.
I still love it.
I love that movie.
I've only seen it once withNatalie because she's like we
should watch it, and then we did, and Natalie because she's like
we should watch it, and then wedid.
And I was like, oh, why didn'tthese guys do a movie again?
Interesting fact Tom Cruise wassupposed to be the original,

(14:14):
was supposed to be Brad Pitt'scharacter in Once Upon a Time in
.

Speaker 2 (14:17):
Hollywood.
Oh, I thought Brad Pitt alsodid Once Upon a Time in Mexico.
That was a fun one.
You mean the?

Speaker 1 (14:26):
Mexican, no, maybe yeah, with Julia Roberts.

Speaker 2 (14:31):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (14:32):
That's the movie where he's in Mexico.

Speaker 2 (14:35):
No, the one that's in Mexico is when?
I'm pretty sure it's Brad Pitt.
I don't know, dude, I knowthey're all shooting up in the
air and then a bullet falls.

Speaker 1 (14:45):
No, it's Antonio Menderes, william Dafoe, johnny
Depp, mickey Rourke, danny Trejo.
Damn that movie got everybodyin it.

Speaker 2 (14:52):
Let's do that one next.

Speaker 1 (14:55):
All right.
One more thing they lost thecharred skeleton body during the
shoot of Peter Peter PeterAfter throwing it into the
harbor for a funeral scene thatdidn't end up making the film
and not realizing it wasdrifting away.
Taka Watiti commented on thesituation, saying it was quite
realistic looking.
So we had to put a pressrelease out saying that if

(15:15):
anyone finds this charred bodywashed up on the beach, don't be
alarmed.
It's just a prop, nice, what ifsomeone found someone is like
All right, I can finally kill myhusband, yeah, and burn him
alive and throw him in the waterand people would be like
perfect opportunity.
Oh this is that classic TaikaWaititi?

Speaker 2 (15:32):
nonsense, oh no, they're all props, they're all
props, everybody everything's aprop, um.

Speaker 1 (15:38):
So who's your favorite character in this?

Speaker 2 (15:41):
uh, I don't know kind of Nick Nick yeah, cause, no,
he's not my favorite, I thinkthe.
There is no wrong answer well,I think the the main character,
the guy that Viego yeah yeah,viego, yeah, he's just so cute,
right?

Speaker 1 (15:59):
you just like you love.
I like how dainty he is.

Speaker 2 (16:02):
He's a dandy yeah, yeah, I kind of love an idiot,
dandy.

Speaker 1 (16:07):
It's so weird how well the TV show captured the
spirit of the movie right,especially with the characters,
because you know, like I alwayssay, nandor is my favorite in
the show.
But it's just like if you toldme, like all right, you can only
keep one, you got to kick allthe other ones off.
I'd be like I'd rather justkill myself.
I don't want any of thesepeople off the show.

Speaker 2 (16:29):
Cause, yeah, it's just something about movies or
shows about flatmates, yeah,even like the show flatmates,
which is super fucking funny,and just roommates in general.
I mean, friends had a prettygood run.

Speaker 1 (16:42):
Yeah, roommates in general, I mean friends had a
pretty good run.

Speaker 2 (16:44):
Yeah, I like it less than these.

Speaker 1 (16:47):
But whatever it's just I don't know, it's just the
way, it's just fun seeing.
It's just the classic bit ofhey, what if you have this weird
characters that have thesepowers or whatever?

Speaker 2 (17:01):
But they also have to try to live together.
They're also just Because younever think about oh, if I
become a vampire, have thesepowers or whatever.

Speaker 1 (17:05):
But hey, they got to live.
They also have to try to livetogether.
They're also just, it's likecause you never think about,
like, oh, if I become a vampire,well, what am I going to do?

Speaker 2 (17:12):
I know.
Forever, for eternity.
Are you just going to live byyourself?

Speaker 1 (17:14):
Do I want to live forever and have to clean my
house forever?

Speaker 2 (17:17):
No, you just move to how they struggle.

Speaker 1 (17:27):
Just trying to live in normal everyday life, but
everything's at night Just putdown some newspaper.
Yeah, please put down a towel.
We're vampires.
We don't put down towels.
We don't do dishes.
I haven't read into the dishes.
It's like why are y'all evenusing so much dishes?

(17:47):
You just bite and suck theblood, that's it.

Speaker 2 (17:50):
I'm so embarrassed when we have people over yeah,
but then you just kill them.

Speaker 1 (17:54):
It's like oh, that is true, yeah, that is true.
And then they have a fight andthey hiss at each other and fall
out.
So good, yeah, just like, atlike.
I just love like, becausenick's character is great.
Mine is also viego, he's myfavorite, um, and then probably
I can't choose between stewthey're all pretty fucking funny
.

(18:14):
That's impossible.
But, like nick, just be justrunning around, I'm twilight,
I'm twilight, fucking twilight,and it's like, yeah, if there
was like someone around 2014that turned into a vampire, this
is just totally how they act.

Speaker 2 (18:29):
I saw a video today on TikTok about Twilight, but
instead of her falling in lovewith the boy, it was a owl kitty
, the cat with a really cuteblack cat.

Speaker 1 (18:42):
Yeah, Did you watch it?
Have you ever seen the SNLparody where they're doing a
parody of Twilight but insteadof Vampire it's Bill Hader as
Frankenstein?
No, Say it.

Speaker 2 (18:55):
Say it, frankenstein no.

Speaker 1 (18:59):
I would say that, oh dude, you got to watch it.
It's so good, it is funny.
So what do you think about?
I mean, I know it's differentnow because we have so many
different shows and movies thathave done the mockumentary thing
, but I feel like this came injust right on time before it was

(19:25):
just kind of like so is everyTV show and like goofy little
movie, going to be kind of amockumentary where we're
following these people aroundlike I think it kind of started
oh no, that was the office.

Speaker 2 (19:29):
Oh yeah, and then parson rec, and then you got
movies like this and now youhave like five other different
shows that kind of do the samething I love it because it kind
of gives you the illusion thatthey're normal people.
Yeah, trying to live normallife.

Speaker 1 (19:42):
I think honestly, the mockumentary style, they could
probably pretty much do it foranything.
It's going to work.
But you can't do another showlike the Office set in an office
doing that, because then it'dbe like, all right, we're out of
ideas with this style, let'sput it to rest for a while and
then come back.
You can't do another vampire.

Speaker 2 (20:03):
Maybe if it was a different kind of office, like I
think they kind of did the samething with shows like veep,
where they kind of kind you knowwhat I mean.

Speaker 1 (20:12):
Yeah, I haven't seen that one, but I do know of it
and like parks and rec, likeinside the government.
So yeah, yeah, those two workand those were like some of the
first.
You know few versions of itthat we were really doing, but
now it's just like there's adoctor one.
Now I don't know.
You had what we Do in theShadows and you know like Modern
Family was essentially doing it.

Speaker 2 (20:34):
Have you seen the one that's in like ancient Poland?
Uh-uh, I'll have to look upwhat it's called.

Speaker 1 (20:40):
It's a mockumentary.

Speaker 2 (20:41):
Yeah, kind of what you.
It's a mockumentary yeah kindof.

Speaker 1 (20:44):
Yeah, you even got ghosts.
Ghosts is essentially amockumentary, yeah, ghosts.
But funny thing is which nowI'm going to have to definitely
watch it.
So they're the police officerswho arrive in the house after
the fight between Deacon andNick.
Later, yeah, they got a spinoffshow called Wellington
Paranormal.
It's on Max Wow, it's anotherTaika Waititi, jermaine Clement
production.
It features the same officersinvestigating and explaining

(21:06):
away all sorts of paranormalphenomenon and, yes, I'm going
to put it on after the podcast.
Hell yeah, and there were goingto be a follow-up movie titled
Werewolves.
Apparently it's supposed to bein production.
I doubt it is anymore.
It's also a mockumentary.
The movie follows a group ofwerewolves living in modern day
Wellington, new Zealand, I meanthose guys were pretty funny.

Speaker 2 (21:27):
I could see how that could be.
I would probably watch it.
I would watch the fuck out ofit.

Speaker 1 (21:33):
Especially if it's like the exact same characters
plus two.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (21:36):
Well, I love how they were trying to chain themselves
to the trees, but they're likeyou wore jeans.

Speaker 1 (21:42):
Yeah, the alpha males is getting so pissed off about
it.
It's like you're not supposedto swear I don't fucking care,
we ain't got much time here.

Speaker 2 (21:51):
Y'all gonna lose those pants and they're just
struggling to take off theirclothes, so they don't rip their
clothes yeah so good so they'relike self hating werewolves.
Yeah, somehow, I don't know,this is so fucking funny.
So good, so they're likeself-hating werewolves.
Somehow, I don't know, this isso fucking funny.
All right, so the show's called1670.

Speaker 1 (22:17):
Is this like a Wow.
It's got really good reviews.
It looks funny.

Speaker 2 (22:20):
Oh, it's on Netflix.

Speaker 1 (22:22):
Yeah, it's pretty fucking funny and they just like
talk to the camera and yeahyeah, like the, the leader is
this guy.

Speaker 2 (22:31):
That's the biggest idiot and but he's the leader
and so I don't know.
There's this one episode wherethey have to.
There's a guy that's analcoholic and so he tries to
quit drinking and everyone getsmad at him because he was like
the village idiot and they'relike we need you to start.
They have an intervention forhim to start drinking again.
Yes, they need someentertainment.

Speaker 1 (22:52):
Yeah, there's a user review on a or a featured review
.
It feels like a combination ofthe office, modern family and
Monty Python meets the 17thcentury.

Speaker 2 (23:04):
It's really cool.
I'm going to have to check thisout.
I'm going to put it on my listit kind of reminds me of him,
like Henry Cebrowski too, Like.

Speaker 1 (23:13):
I'm in now.
Definitely All right, bro,let's get in the shadows, shall
we?

Speaker 2 (23:20):
Let's do more dark yeah.

Speaker 1 (23:25):
Just like the small little lines, it's like they
don't overdo it.
They just like the small littlelines, it's like they don't
overdo it.
They just like say it, it's sosubtle.
Yeah, all right.
So every few years, a secretsociety in new zealand gathers
for a special event.
Yeah, and holy masquerade.
In the months leading up to theball, a documentary crew was
granted full access to a smallgroup of this society.

(23:48):
What an insane thing.
I want to see it all up to thatpoint too, just like them
signing the contracts andeverything, getting their
crosses, and didn't it say theywere also blessed, or something?

Speaker 2 (24:01):
Yeah, something like that.

Speaker 1 (24:02):
So it's 6 pm.
Diego wakes up from his coffin.
He's got an alarm clock, he'sgot an alarm clock, sticks his
hand out like tapping it, andthen, like everybody, he opens
it.

Speaker 2 (24:13):
So he like Raises halfway up, yeah, raises halfway
up.

Speaker 1 (24:16):
And then he looks at the camera like eee, then raises
and it's immediately I'm hookedforever for the rest of my life
in anything Taco Aditi does.
And then, like we learn, andthen like we learned, he's like
379 years old, he's like superscary, he's like this is the
scariest part.

Speaker 2 (24:34):
And then, like, opens the blinds, like oh my god, he
peeks out real quick.
Yeah, oh good, it's night.

Speaker 1 (24:37):
Yeah, it's like it must really suck whenever, like,
the power goes out.

Speaker 2 (24:41):
Oh man, yeah, he's like oh no and when I was in the
army, we always had to havebattery operated alarm clocks
for that reason oh smart.

Speaker 1 (24:51):
So, um, he's going to wake up his other flatmates.
We have a flat meeting.
I can't do.
Uh, new Zealand exit, so wemeet Deacon.
Um, I transformed.
He's got the one of the bestlines he sleeps in the closet he
hangs upside down.
I transformed into a dog and hadsex.

(25:12):
That's what he did last night.
He had a late night.
Then we meet Vladislav, who ishaving sex, but whenever he
opens the door it looks likeit's in like a.
Yeah, that was cool.
It looks like we're seeing itfrom a top-down perspective.
Yeah, it was badass.
Fucking rules.
I wish I had vampire powers.
If I could just make openingsseem like different.

Speaker 2 (25:34):
And then he opens the door a second later and there's
nothing.
Completely normal.
All the people are gone.
Yeah, everything Meeting in 10minutes?
Yeah, 20.
20.

Speaker 1 (25:45):
Okay, and then he goes to Peter's room with a
chicken.
He's essentially Nosferatu, ofcourse.
He's got a stone casket, hisroom is very messy and Viego
wants to clean it up If you wantI could just bring down a broom
, you could just clean up alittle bit, he's like they're

(26:06):
like is Peter coming to themeeting?
No, he's 8000 years old, he'snot coming so at the meeting um,
we learned deacon doesn't pullhis weight around the flag, he
doesn't clean up.
Um, we learned that he's cooland rebellious, the young bad
boy of the group at 183 yearsold yeah, um, but yeah, there's

(26:30):
pissed off at him that he won'tclean the dishes.
And then he pans over thedishes, and there's just so much
in the dishes.
Covered in blood and there'snotes that say please clean, oh
man.
And we learn he became avampire when he got picked up by
a vampire who turns out to bePeter, and they are still
friends today.
He's like yeah, I was justwalking next to this old creepy

(26:52):
castle and then a creature cameup and got me and then he like
drained my blood and then mademe drink his blood and he like
flew up and he said you're avampire and it's like that's
Peter, oh, good old Peter.
And so Vlad is an older vampirefrom medieval times.

Speaker 2 (27:09):
That was pretty funny .

Speaker 1 (27:10):
He's a great guy, but a bit of a pervert, vlad the
poker yeah.
And then like, while like we'recutting in between him telling
his stories, he's like he's alittle bit old in his ways.
We should get slaves.
We learn he's 862 years old.
He was a tyrannical back in theday.
He tortured people a lot.

Speaker 2 (27:32):
He poked people lads love the poker well, I love how
he can't get the faces right,yeah oh, and then they show up
later.

Speaker 1 (27:41):
He's got the cat face so creepy.
Uh, viego was an 18th centurydandy.
He likes he likes things clean.
He likes he lays down towels.
We see him like um gonna suckthe girl's blood.

Speaker 2 (27:56):
Well, I love that's a little later.

Speaker 1 (28:00):
He's so nice yeah, he's just so nice.
He just wants to give them,like their last, a nice night
before they die.
Um, and then, like deacon andviego, really start fighting
about the dishes they fly up in.

Speaker 2 (28:12):
Hissing.

Speaker 1 (28:15):
And then we get the classic what we do in the shadow
song You're dead.
We see float vacuuming,brushing Peter's teeth, so and
then we cut to uh, vlad, um, welearned that he was 16 when he
turned, but times were roughback then, so now he looks 40.

Speaker 2 (28:37):
Yeah, he looks middle-aged at 16, we learned
deacon was a nazi vampire, it'slike.

Speaker 1 (28:45):
So, after the war which we lost, y'all might not
know that, um, it was really badto be a naz Nazi and it was
really bad to be a vampire.
It was really bad to be a Nazi.

Speaker 2 (28:55):
Yeah, just forget about it.
So I had to get out of there.

Speaker 1 (28:59):
Then we get a bunch of pictures of them living
together.
It's great, they're likepartying and stuff and just
having fun.
Viego came to the country forlove, we find out he liked it.
He so Viego came to the countryfor love, we find out he liked
a human girl.
When he told her how he feltshe already had been married,
she gave him a pure silvernecklace that he can't wear.
Even though he tries, he's likeat first he puts it on, it's

(29:20):
like steaming and he's like,yeah, and then he's like, oh,
that's as long as I can wear it.
But we also learned that thereason that he didn't get
married to this girl was becausehis familiar at the time
shipped him all around the worldbecause he got the address
wrong.
Never thought about that beinga problem for vampires man, the

(29:42):
postal system was terrible backthen.
Yeah, we see that they play ina three-man band and he's
terrible Like they're both.

Speaker 2 (29:52):
Like Vlad and Deacon are kind of good at their
instruments.
I mean, you have eternity tolearn to trumpet Right, or is it
just a horn without the themouth?

Speaker 1 (30:03):
No, he definitely had the thing.
I think he just wasn't usinghim.
I thought he was doing a greatjob.

Speaker 2 (30:09):
I love how he was just playing so shitty and then
he turned the music page, yeah,like he was reading the music.

Speaker 1 (30:17):
He wasn't.
Yeah, he wasn't, because hepicked up without even looking
at it, right back where he'sleft off.
So they're going to go out andthey're getting ready.
They can't see each other, soto get ready.

Speaker 2 (30:30):
They draw each other.
Oh look, ghost Cop.

Speaker 1 (30:34):
Yeah, but they just like poorly draw each other or
they walk around with like acoat, hanger and stuff and
they're like oh, this is how itwould look, Don't?
They have cameras.
Well, they're not yet.
They don't have cameras yet.
That was Stu taught themcameras and phones and all that.
Oh, okay, good old Stu.

(30:54):
But yeah, it's really funny,it's time to go.
Oh, and this is we get like theline.
It's like sometimes you see aguy and you really like his
pants, so you kill him.
Hell yeah, I don't know theclothes they were trying on.
Most of them were splatteringwith blood.
Yeah, it's time to go out andparty vampire style, cut to them

(31:17):
on a bus they can't go in anyof the nightclubs because they
don't get invited.
Yeah, they want to go in.
He's like oh, why don't youinvite me in?
It's like just you can walk in.
It's like you're like theywon't.
They're like, no, either go inor don't.
Um, so they go to a vampire barwhere they can get invited in.

(31:38):
Um, it's super dead, though.
They're like this is thehottest vampire club there is
four people, they all look likenerds and they just walk in,
start kind of dancing but it wasfunny.

Speaker 2 (31:47):
Like when they're walking on the street and they
see other vampires, they kind ofhiss at each other and then,
like they find the lady, she'slike oh this guy, yeah, I've
been draining them all night,yeah, and then you got like the
two kids that were turning intovampires.
We're gonna get a pedophile.
Yeah, we're gonna kill apedophile okay, good luck.

Speaker 1 (32:04):
Um, and then deacon, we meet his familiar jack.
She's going to bring over someuh, virgins for him.

Speaker 2 (32:12):
Uh, the future, Guillermo, yeah.

Speaker 1 (32:15):
And she, uh, she wants to know when he will turn
her, but he, of course, ignoresher and tells her to go off.

Speaker 2 (32:20):
I'm really glad that they just glad I made the show.
Yeah, it's just a continuationof this.

Speaker 1 (32:28):
It's so good.
I won't say it's better becauseI love this movie so much, but
it's just like right on par withthe movie.

Speaker 2 (32:37):
I love it yeah.

Speaker 1 (32:40):
I didn't like when they spoilers, when they turn
him into a vampire and hedoesn't want to be a vampire.
I'm like whoa we've beenbuilding, I wanted to see
Guillermo as a vampire, and thenhe doesn't want to be a vampire
and they unturn him into avampire.

Speaker 2 (32:53):
I'm like whoa we've been building.
I wanted to see Guillermo as avampire.
God damn it.
So Viego.

Speaker 1 (32:56):
Yeah, well, he was, but he was just really bad.
Yeah, he was like he didn'twant to kill people and it's
like well then, don't become avampire.
What have you been doing?
Here, the argument.
So Viego makes it a niceexperience when he drains blood,
since it's their last timealive.
He smooth talks a girl and thengoes to drain her and hits a
jugular.
Blood gets everywhere.
He's like, oh, he's like openhis mouth and just spewing

(33:18):
straight into it.

Speaker 2 (33:21):
Why doesn't he just?
I don't know, it's so funny,he's just covered in blood and
he looks sad that she's deadshe's so excited about like to
get kissed yeah, she's like ooh,ooh, okay, what's going on here
?

Speaker 1 (33:37):
um then, vlad, he's gonna feed on a girl watching TV
.
He tries to hypnotize her, buthe's not powerful enough because
his arch nemesis, the beast,defeated him once, so now he
isn't as strong.

Speaker 2 (33:48):
I love how they go and like they talk about yes,
see me.
And he like knocks on the dooryeah, but no, they go into.
Like how he used to be able tohypnotize entire groups of
people yeah, but now he's justreduced to talking to people
through their windows at homeand they don't even notice them.

Speaker 1 (34:07):
Yeah, it's like it must be the angle she's watching
TV.

Speaker 2 (34:10):
She can't see me.
She can't see me.

Speaker 1 (34:14):
So then, jackie brings over the humans for them
to feed.
One of them is Nick, jackie'sex when she was 12.

Speaker 2 (34:24):
You think she's very confident until this.

Speaker 1 (34:26):
Yeah, then you're like oh okay, she's just as dumb
as they are yeah, and I love it, and then, like the other, I
can't remember the other girl'sname.
I didn't put it in here, didn't?

Speaker 2 (34:35):
she work with her.
No, they went to schooltogether.

Speaker 1 (34:38):
Yeah, and I guess she made up the nickname, the
Jackie Jacks, jackie Jacks orsis.

Speaker 2 (34:43):
Yeah, she teased.
She's there once in school.

Speaker 1 (34:46):
She's like oh, I didn't call you that.
So, yeah, yeah, that was you,that was you.
And so it gets her to come.
They ask if they're virgins,but they aren't.
Jackie's like.
It's like yeah, you are Nick.
It's like we dated, it's like Iwas 12.
Because Vlad is like you don't,you're a virgin, you don't look

(35:08):
like a virgin.
And this is where I'll put itlike this to you Would you enjoy
a sandwich more if you knew ifone had been fucked?
I messed up the line?
Would you enjoy one if you knewit had been fucked?

Speaker 2 (35:19):
Yes, it turns purity culture on its head, yeah.

Speaker 1 (35:23):
And then we got spaghetti worms they just put it
like a cold plate of spaghetti.

Speaker 2 (35:30):
He's like I'm gonna go prepare dinner.

Speaker 1 (35:32):
It comes back with two cans of spaghetti or
whatever and so essentially,they just like, they make him
eat it and it's like, ooh, youjust ate the worms.
Now your penis is a snake he'slike whoa, I'm fucking out of
here.
They made my penis look like asnake, oh no, it's a cobra, yeah
, um.
And then.
So Nick tries to leave, but hecan't get out.

(35:54):
They chase Diego.
Hits his jugular, uh, diego.
So they chase um, uh, vlad hitsthe jugular.

Speaker 2 (36:08):
That's really funny how they're chasing around the
house.
Yeah, vlad hits the jugular.
That's really funny how they'rechasing around the house.

Speaker 1 (36:10):
Vlad hits the jugular of one girl and there's like
blood splattering everywhere.
You got the Vlad cat.
He's like sucking up.
Nobody's around him anymore andhe's got his backpack on Next,
thing, you know.
Deacon's coming out of thebackpack so I'm assuming he
batted into it.
Bat and then he gets outside.

(36:32):
But Peter gets him.

Speaker 2 (36:36):
Oh, they're like oh, peter, got him, poor guy the way
.

Speaker 1 (36:40):
Nick, the way like Nick talks and like looks at the
camera and stuff is so funnyand it's like how slight.
He says everything.
It's like I don't want to behere.
They made me, they made mypenis look like a snake.
I'm out of here.
I'm not into this, so funny andeven as a vampire.

Speaker 2 (37:01):
He's just a goofy son of a bitch.

Speaker 1 (37:03):
He essentially stays the same.
That's great.
So then we cut to.
Two months later, deacon danceswhile the others watch.
That's great.
So then we cut to.
Two months later, deacon danceswhile the others watch and then
we see Nick, who is now avampire, struggling to fly
inside the house, Like why thefuck won't you just come through

(37:24):
the door?
It's like I'm a vampire, Idon't have to.

Speaker 2 (37:29):
He's like oh, the best thing about being a vampire
is that you can fly.

Speaker 1 (37:31):
Yeah, it's very good at it only been a vampire for
two months struggling to get inthe window yeah and we see, nick
, I was just doing an eroticdance for my friends and you
interrupted it, yeah oh, we seenick is wanting to learn from
them, but he also thinks thatthey can learn from him.
They're going out and nowthey're going to go out.

(37:53):
And now we meet Stu.
My guy, nick, tells us hedoesn't know he's a vampire.
It's like it sucks, because Ireally want to eat him.
You can't hear me?

Speaker 2 (38:07):
Like I want to tell him but I can't.
It's like we learn like Studated Nick's, but I can't.

Speaker 1 (38:09):
It's like we learned like Stu dated Nick's sister and
they broke up and he's like, oh, now he's my mate, yeah, my
best mate, yeah, very sweetDeacon, doesn't like?
Nick Said he shouldn't havebeen turned and he's?
He's just really jealousbecause he can get them into
clubs now, because he knowspeople that work at the bars.
So after the club, the, so theyall go into the clubs.

(38:35):
After the club the five of themare.

Speaker 2 (38:37):
It's really funny when they're on the way to the
club and that one dude's likehomos.

Speaker 1 (38:41):
Yeah.
And they're also like they getin there and they're just like,
yeah, this after.
And then what?
Yeah, nick's like tellingeverybody he's a vampire and
everybody, oh wait, no, that'snot.
Yeah, that's a little bit later.
So they, they all party,they're having a good time.

(39:02):
After the club, the five ofthem are walking and walk past
some werewolves.
It's like thought I.

Speaker 2 (39:09):
Oh, they must really smell bad.

Speaker 1 (39:10):
Yeah, they all start kind of making fun of each other
and then, like one of thewerewolves, swear.
It's like hey, what are we?
We're werewolves, notswearwolves.
All right, yeah.
And then it's like why?
Don't you go pee on something.
And then, like they startpissing them off and like when
the guy starts losing, likethey're like whoa, whoa, whoa,

(39:31):
whoa, calm down, yeah, and thenthey have to like kind of
breathe through it.

Speaker 2 (39:41):
Yeah, take deep breaths.
It's like they're a supportgroup with a disease.

Speaker 1 (39:48):
Yeah, it's like a walking AA.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (39:51):
I guess like can't repeat is kind a disease.
Yeah, it's like a walking AAmovie, I guess lycanthropy is
kind of a disease.

Speaker 1 (39:55):
You just never think about it.
So, nick, he's going to tellStu that he's a vampire.
He's super nervous to tell him.
And then he tells him and Stu'sjust like okay, yeah, literally
almost Stu's the coolest guy.
Stu is literally the boringestperson on the planet and has no
reaction to anything, and it'sgreat.
You kind of need a friend likehe's a great friend when
everybody's weird and crazy, youjust need that friend to be

(40:17):
like hey, you want to hearsomething crazy.
He's like oh okay, do you needhelp with like computers and
stuff?
Yeah, she's a software analyst.
Yeah.
And then we learned vieiego.
Vlad Deacon they all love StuDeacon's going to start knitting
him a scarf.
Stu teaching Viego how to fight.
He shows them phones, computersand cameras are like walking

(40:40):
around like this what it shows,like videos of sunrises videos
pictures of virgins.
They're like I don't think she'sa virgin doing that, um, and
then he like learns how to like,show him like, oh, portable
cameras and stuff, yeah it'sgreat.

Speaker 2 (40:58):
Yeah, this is like the old nokia phones and stuff.
Yeah, it's great.

Speaker 1 (41:01):
And then, uh, stew helps viego video call his old
servant.
Uh, he brings up the servantphil.
Philip brings up the girl Viegoliked and then Philip brings up
that he didn't turn him and islike I'm 90 years old now.
Viego's like just closes thebathtub.
Just looks like eee Yikes andViego, feeling sad, goes to see

(41:26):
his old love at a retirementhome and just stands out.
They kind of did that bit inwhat we do in the Shadow Show,
oh, which I think was it Laszloor Nandor, like goes and visits
an old lady, and it's kind offrom this.
I don't remember.
Yeah, I can't remember.
I think it was like season oneor two.
So we're at a party.
Nick keeps telling people he'sa vampire.

(41:52):
Yeah, I'm a vampire.
It's like, no, you're not.
It's like, yeah, I'm actually avampire.
Yeah, deacon Viego and Vladtell him he can't, but he keeps
doing it.
He tells two dudes and one ofthem says he's a vampire hunter.
But he doesn't believe him.
I'll give you my email.
I mean he's talking to a guy atthe convenience store cash

(42:14):
register that's it.

Speaker 2 (42:16):
Is this the?

Speaker 1 (42:16):
vampire hunter.
No, no, it was one of like twoguys at a bar.
But the guy's like, oh yeah,I'm a vampire too, I can turn
and everything.
And then Nick turns, like don'tlie about turning into shit.
So and then Deacon and Nickfight.
Nick eats the french fries Likedon't lie about turning into
shit.

Speaker 2 (42:32):
So, and then Deacon and Nick fight.
Nick eats the French fry.

Speaker 1 (42:36):
Oh yeah, but like so Deacon and Nick, their fight,
like Nick keeps running around.
I'm Twilight.
Like shut up, you're notTwilight.

Speaker 2 (42:46):
He's like I'm Dracula man, and then they have like a
bat fight and just kind of startfloating around.

Speaker 1 (42:49):
It's great.
And Deacon ends up winning andrips Nick's jacket.
And so they go to this dinerand Nick who's this Deacon?
Flew off and Nick's justsitting there and once his
jacket got ripped, he's like youripped my jacket.
And then they get back into thelittle like diner or whatever
and he's just like sitting thereand he's just like looking at

(43:10):
the camera.
What's the thing with hisjacket?
It's just like they ripped myjacket.

Speaker 2 (43:14):
It's so good.
The jacket that's a copy ofDeacon's.
Yeah, it's like just thereverse colors.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (43:21):
So Nick, who's upset, eats some fries and vomits like
crazy it's.
Like you know, I don't mind thesun not being out during the
sun but chips it's my favoritefood.
I can't eat chips, oh regrets.
So deacon tells jackie that hewas gonna buy her, but nick took
her spot.
She said if she had a penis shewould have been turned in,

(43:42):
turned into a vampire by now.
Everybody's just biting eachother's dicks.
I fucking love Jackie D she.
I forgot.
Like I kind of forget about herwhenever I watch this movie and
I'm like that's right, I forgot.
She's like kind of hilarious.
So Viego explains that hedidn't kill.
Um, what's, what's the girlthat he's in love with?

Speaker 2 (44:06):
Catherine, paul, oh, the 89 year old.
Yeah, yeah, I can't remember.

Speaker 1 (44:11):
It's like Catherine, something like that.
He didn't kill her husbandbecause he saw how happy she was
.
Then, like we see him, he's gothis little necklace, he opens
it.
There's like a picture of himand her in it, and then he like
scans it and then makes a biggerpicture and like puts it on his
coffin and then closes thecoffin and then all of a sudden

(44:33):
he's jerking off in the coffincan vampires see at night?
Yeah, they got night vision sonext morning Peter is screaming,
otherwise they'd just bebumping into the show.
That is true.
So he got caught into thesunlight and is burning and he
died.

(44:53):
Oh no, and then like Vlad likelike get some water.
Vlad comes in with like a tinybucket of water.
That was it.
And then, like Peter's dead.
He's like I was too late.

Speaker 2 (45:04):
And then he like runs at the camera turn it off.

Speaker 1 (45:06):
Our friend has been killed in a fatal sunlight
accident.
Um, and then we learned peterwas attacked by a vampire hunter
.
He killed him, but the sun gothim.
Nick comes down to see and it'suh, we see that it's one of the
guys earlier.
He told that he was a vampire.
They're super pissed at him.
Deacon nick fight again.
Um, they're.

(45:29):
It's a really dope kind offight like, because they're kind
of running all around the thingand that was cool.
And there's one point wherehe's like laying on the ground
on the roof and he's like get upand stand on the ceiling like a
man.
That's pretty good.
And then the fight isinterrupted by a knock at the
door.
It's the police.
They came to check on theforced entry and shrieking Diego

(45:51):
hypnotizes him, but he's notvery good at it and they act
like everything is normal andjust act like the police.
They let him walk through thehouse.
You still have the two Deaconand Nick floating and they point
up at where Nick is in thecorner of the room.
He's like oh, you see thatyou've got no fire alarms in

(46:14):
here.

Speaker 2 (46:14):
Yeah, yeah.
When they go to Peter's room,yeah, they look past all the
skeletons and everything Likethis is a fire hazard.

Speaker 1 (46:21):
Yeah, and then they, they see, like the hunter down
on the ground, they're like, oh,he's just too drunk, it's like
you're just going to leave himdown here.
It's like you, like he's on thefloor and they're like, oh,
what's this?
You see this, this is adhesive,it's opening out, it's a fire
hazard.
And then, like they're about togo up and we get a little cut,

(46:43):
to like Viego's, like we can'tkill the police because it just
more police show up.
And then I think it's Deacon'slike let's just what other
safety stuff they have to sayfirst, um, so then they have a
trial for nick, um, and theycall it.
And then, like they start, it'slike it's just like, if they

(47:05):
call it, problems we have withnick and the first one is about
stews.
We're like, but we really likestews, we're just yeah, um, and
so due to his crimes, he isbanished indefinitely and he has
to have the shame parade, um,and he's like, so I can come
back.
They're like, no, well,indefinitely doesn't mean
forever.

(47:26):
It's like, well, you can comeback eventually.
They're like, oh, so like aweek or a month.

Speaker 2 (47:30):
He's like, no, not a week at least five months, and
then he's like so they're gonna.

Speaker 1 (47:34):
Um, he's gonna be punished with the procession of
shame.
Like you got to get out of here.
Like Stu, you can visit as muchas you want, and so,
essentially, the procession ofshame is this he's walking, he's
like shame yeah they're allcircling him.

Speaker 2 (47:49):
Shame.

Speaker 1 (47:49):
And it's like very small and not a lot of like love
and like gusto put in it.
So then, to like love and likegusto put in it.
So then it's, several monthslater they've got an invitation
to the unholy masquerade at thechurch of despair yeah, and all
the undead come vampires,zombies witches and banshees I
love the zombie guy.

Speaker 2 (48:09):
He's like we have to keep for ourselves from like
lifting our arms and going yeahit's almost like a version of
like Colin Robinson.

Speaker 1 (48:18):
Yeah, it's not like quite fully there, yet we
learned that Viego went as fromone and two one year every year
they have a guest of honor, andVlad thinks it will be him, but
it isn't.
It's just arch nemesis thebeast.
I wonder who the beastis, it'sthe beast.
I wonder who the beast is goingto be.

(48:40):
So the beast is being built upas a crazy monster.

Speaker 2 (48:44):
He always has to fight.
Yeah, they always keep showingthe picture, the drawing of the
monster.

Speaker 1 (48:48):
Yeah, it's got like a penis on the chest, like three
penises on the chest.
It's got like chicken legs.
It's wild.
So, um Viego, he wants to go asblade, like you can't go as a
vampire hunter, but he's also avampire.

Speaker 2 (49:04):
Yeah, that's right, like half vampire yeah.

Speaker 1 (49:06):
He's a half, half blood breed.
He's a day Walker day Walker,that's what they call him.
So Vlad looks terrible from thestress.
Um, he turns around and he'sjust like.
He's like old, gray, likewrinkly skin, and he says he's
not going.
This is like, just leave mehere to do my bidding, my dark

(49:26):
bidding.
What are you bidding on a table?
So then Deacon and Diego arriveat the party.
Jackie is there, and it turnsout she's a vampire.
Now, way to go, girl.
We learn.
Nick bit her.

Speaker 2 (49:42):
Just turning people willy nilly yeah.

Speaker 1 (49:44):
And Deacon is mad that he bit her servant.
We see Stu came to the party.
Oh no, not good.
And then we finally meet thebeast who's actually Vlad's ex
Polly Love it.
It's just like it's just somegirl.
We finally meet the beast who'sactually Vlad's ex Polly Love
it.
It's just like it's just somegirl.
Yeah, it's just cute, yeah.
So she's meeting everyone andshe sees Stu and Viego, and then

(50:08):
Viego lets out that Stu is ahuman.

Speaker 2 (50:09):
Dang it, Viego.
He's trying to tell people thathe's like a witch.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (50:13):
Because, like she shakes his hand, it's like oh,
you're very warm, are you ademon?
She's been like yes, I am, I ama demon.
I'm a software analyst.
Yeah, god, it's so good, it'sreally.
I guess they turn like Stu andthe zombie into Colin Robinson.

Speaker 2 (50:29):
Yeah, it was really funny whenever Stu was talking
to the zombie and then thezombie's like so let me ask you
a personal question are youpre-deceased?
Yeah, he's pre-deceased, butthen when Stu gets up, he like
has the instinct to bring hisarms up, but then he puts them
down yeah, so good.

Speaker 1 (50:53):
So, like Jason said, everyone's kind of starting to
figure out that Stu's a human.
Uh, they try to get him out,but everybody knows now the
beast confronts him, they allwant to eat him and they worry
he could be like a vampirehunter.
So they just can't let him go.
So they tell him to tell theroom what he does, and then he
just goes on and on about whathe does.

(51:13):
He's like a computer analystand stuff.
And then by the end of thespeech the beast is like all
right, you're definitely avirgin.

Speaker 2 (51:22):
And that one lady.
He's like I can smell a virginfrom a mile away.
He's like shut up, go a mileaway or a thousand feet away and
smell yourself.
Yeah, so good.

Speaker 1 (51:35):
So they're going to attack.
So good, so they're going toattack.
But Vlad shows up.
The Beast's new boy toyconfronts him and they start to
fight.

Speaker 2 (51:41):
Well, she forgets who he is.

Speaker 1 (51:43):
He's like I'm your ex-lover, well because he comes
in with a mask on and he's likedon't you remember me?
And she's like name someoneelse?
And he's like no, that was fiveyears before me.
And then he goes to take offthe mask.
But he's having a hard time andthe viego's like let me help.

Speaker 2 (52:00):
He's like, I got it, I got it, but he takes it off.
And then he's like, and hetakes a split second, and then
he goes the dramatic effect,like, look at her, like the
reveal, it's like me oh, it's sogood.

Speaker 1 (52:14):
Beast, asshole, arsehole, don't call me asshole,
don't call me beast.
So, vlad, during the fight, helooks like he's going to die.
It looks like the other vampireis like sucking his energy out,
I guess.
Then Stu impales him.
Yeah, hell yeah, and then theyrun off.
They celebrate Stu, stu, stu,stu, and then they smell off

(52:38):
they celebrate Stu, stu, stu,stu.
And then they smell werewolves.
Uh-oh, we see that the wolvesare chaining themselves to a
tree.
They're worried about the pantsripping, they're all so stupid.
And then the one guy is like thealpha male is like hey, you see
all the size of that tree.
You know how big you get whenyou turn.

Speaker 2 (52:58):
That's a branch yeah.

Speaker 1 (53:00):
One guy's like oh, I forgot the combination.
He's like why did you get acombination log?
It's like because I lost my key.
And then they see Vlad has afur coat on.
They're like man, that's reallydisrespectful.
And then the moon comes out andthey're all getting angry and
upset and turning.

Speaker 2 (53:20):
They all look pretty silly, it's like quick, take off
the clothes you want to keep.

Speaker 1 (53:24):
They're all trying to kill them all and they all turn
into werewolves.
They're all kind of silly, likevery big, fluffy werewolves.

Speaker 2 (53:32):
But they're kind of horrifying.
Yeah, they're like the way theyfilm.
It is horrifying.

Speaker 1 (53:36):
But it's also like the silhouette is kind of goofy
at the same time.
But, it's awesome.
I fucking love werewolves, dude.
So they get chased by them andhave a fight.

Speaker 2 (53:46):
The cameraman gets eaten.

Speaker 1 (53:48):
And then we see Stu getting thrown around and eaten.
Poor Stu RIP.

Speaker 2 (53:56):
Oh man.
His body was like disemboweledand his face was eaten.

Speaker 1 (54:00):
Oh, it's great.
Nick is sad and Deacon goes toconsole him.
He tells him this is whathappens as a vampire.
You think the movie is going tocut to being real serious and
sad.
It's just something Taika likesto do in his movies.
It's like this is what happensas a vampire you have to watch
them die.
Then he's like like humans dieall the time you got like

(54:22):
they'll be in a pile of leavesand then leaves blocking their
windpipe you make a mascot ofcrackers and get attacked by
geese, ducks and geese, he's gotone.
Uh, if I know stew, this wasprobably the way he wanted to go
, disemboweled by werewolves,blood and guts splayed under the
trees, his face torn to shredsand then like Deacon's, like I

(54:45):
hope I could help, and Nyx islike, oh my god, so good.
So then we see the cops we sawfrom earlier.
They find Stu, who they thinkwas attacked by dogs.
They find a random dog.

Speaker 2 (54:56):
They find sue, who they think was attacked by dogs.

Speaker 1 (54:57):
They find a random dog, really cute dog it's like
see, tomorrow we're going to cutdown this dog.
The dog, like, looks at thecamera like oh sweet dog, and
then he takes him over to sue.

Speaker 2 (55:06):
He's like, look what you did and then he's like,
tries to get away a little bit.
They're like, oh, he's tryingto get back at it yeah, it's so
funny.

Speaker 1 (55:16):
That bit alone it's one of the best bits.
Oh, it's so good.
So we cut to the gang.
They're all very sad over thepassing of.
Stew.
Viego says that vampires don'tfeel anything, but he says that
he sometimes thinks that he does, and then we get like a shot of
the picture of like stew, peterviego, deacon vlad nick, and

(55:37):
it's just like for a second.
I'm like damn, they had afamily here.
For a split second they had afamily and then they throw the
scarf in the river.

Speaker 2 (55:44):
Yeah, stu would have loved this scarf.

Speaker 1 (55:51):
But then it cuts to black and suddenly we hear a
phone call from Nick, who is asurprise.
Turns out Stu's alive baby.
He didn't die.
And then all of a sudden, thewerewolf boys start coming in
and we learn that he's a wolf.

Speaker 2 (56:06):
Now, yeah, we get the shitty reenactment like scene
oh, of the FM jumping off thestructure.

Speaker 1 (56:11):
It looks like old, like true crime, like series,
like on true TV or something,where it's like just really
shitty looking and it's great.
It's like, yeah, next thing Iknew I woke up and I was on a
stretcher and then I stumbledout into the middle of the woods
and I woke up and these guysgave me pants.
It's great.

(56:32):
So.
And then the vampires andwerewolves.

Speaker 2 (56:35):
I love how they're all naked too just standing
there.

Speaker 1 (56:37):
They're all just standing there with no pants on,
the vampires and wolves.
They all start getting along.
It's like we thought they weregoing to pee on everything.

Speaker 2 (56:46):
It's like don't lick anything, don't urinate on
anything.
But, it turns out that they'reall pretty friendly.

Speaker 1 (56:52):
They all start shaking hands.

Speaker 2 (56:53):
Yeah, they're having a great time partying.

Speaker 1 (56:55):
They're like stew Everybody loves stew and because
of that, we all love stew.
Catherine and Viego aretogether now.
Catherine is the that's thegirl's name the 89-year-old, the
96-year-old.
So they're together and heturned her into a vampire, viego
.
Some people freak out a bitabout the age difference.
They think what's this96-year-old lady doing with a

(57:17):
guy four times her age?
They call me a coffin robber orsomething.

Speaker 2 (57:22):
A cradle robber Cradle, robber Right.
I think he said cradle snatcher.

Speaker 1 (57:26):
Cradle snatcher, yeah , and so then that's pretty much
the end of the movie.
And then, through the credits,vlad got back with the Beast,
and then he's like you see,whenever you get back with an ex
it takes a minute.
But then you realize why youbroke up.
And then we see Jackie who isgiving a bunch of a list of

(57:47):
things for her husband who isnow familiar to do, like she
says I love you, but I am yourmaster.
The leader of the wolves aremessing with, like the other
ones, cause it's like, you see,I love being the alpha here.
See, if I start laughing, theyall start laughing.
And then I can mess with themand be like why are you laughing

(58:07):
?
He's like uh.
And then they all startlaughing and he's like now, why
are you laughing?
He's like uh, it's like theystart laughing and then Stu's
like.
He's like why are you laughing,stu?
It's like cause everybody elseis laughing.

Speaker 2 (58:18):
It's like see he gets it.

Speaker 1 (58:22):
I'm the alpha male, yeah, male Male, yeah, I got it
at the end.
Um then, it's the end, exceptthere's an scene.

Speaker 2 (58:39):
Oh, it's where deacon's like.
You will forget everything yousaw over the last hour and a
half beautiful, perfect oh man,I just want to say this is a
fucking five-star movie.

Speaker 1 (58:47):
Yeah, this is like everything I like in a less than
90 minute movie.
It's perfect.
It's straight good bits all sofunny from beginning to end.
Like this is a rare comedy thatI watched while taking notes 7
30 am in the morning and wasstill laughing all the way

(59:07):
through hell.
Yeah, like a lot of thecomedies we do, I don't like
some of them.
I don't have that reaction toright and I did, with this one,
that amazing.

Speaker 2 (59:16):
I'm going to have to check out all of this guy's
stuff, yeah.

Speaker 1 (59:20):
Hunt for the Wilder People is always on stuff that
one's really funny.
I don't know if Evil vs Sharksis on anything.
I know his newest one, lastGoal, or whatever something like
that.
It doesn't have great reviews,but I think it's on Hulu,
whatever something like that.
It doesn't have the greatreviews, but I think it's on

(59:40):
hulu.
Have you ever seen jojo rabbit?
No, oh shit, you're gonna lovethat one.
That movie is jojo rabbit.
Taiko atidi uh plays a boysversion a.
So you know, like nazis, um,they had like the thing where,
like little kids were like in,like these little nazi, like
nazi academies yeah stuff likethat.

(01:00:01):
So it's like from theperspective of that, a boy like
in that and so, like his um, hekind of has like a imaginary
friend that's taika watiti ashitler, and so, you know,
taika's doing like, he's kind oflike flamboyant type of like
silly goofiness and it's reallyfunny.
But it's like um and like, ofcourse, obnoxiously, people like

(01:00:24):
around that time were like oh,it's like this isn't like we
shouldn't do this, portray acharacter like this.
But then like, if you actuallyfucking watch the movie and have
a brain, yeah, you realize thatit's all satire as the kid like
starts to see, like the like,how bad nazis are and like, oh,
this is all shitty and stuff.
like the imaginary character ofhitler like becomes more and

(01:00:48):
more kind of like mean, and likehe's starting to see what
hitler actually is, not like afriendly guy but, like you know,
a and it just seems like theentire fucking world didn't
understand, like people on theinternet didn't understand it.

Speaker 2 (01:01:00):
I just I hate the internet Because they never
tried.

Speaker 1 (01:01:03):
Like there's just so many shows have come out and
people have bad takes on theinternet.
Yeah, and I'm just getting sickof it and I haven't been
looking at my phone anymore.
I just Just got to take a break.
It's like, think about it anddon't go on the internet and
talk about it.
Talk about it with your friendsor wife or husband.

Speaker 2 (01:01:24):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:01:26):
And this is why I don't have a negative podcast.
I have a positive podcastbecause I want to talk about how
much things I like, yay.
Anyways let's talk about thegood, the bad, the ugly, which
is our first category.
It's where we discuss the goodof a film, something we like,
the bad, something we didn'tlike.
The ugly, something that didn'tage well, the fine, something
that did age well.
My good is Taika Fucking WhiteTV baby and Tremaine Clement.

(01:01:50):
Just kind of it's the wholemovie Concept idea.
It's all Five out of five yeah,I love 10.

Speaker 2 (01:01:56):
Whatever you want, I think mine would be just.
Anytime you can subvertexpectation.
Uh, and taika does it so well?
Yeah, and just the idea thatvampires are just silly and
stupid vampires are people too,you know.

Speaker 1 (01:02:13):
It's like our vampires, like one of us they're
not all I mean they are.

Speaker 2 (01:02:18):
They are monsters, yeah, like they're also have
feelings.

Speaker 1 (01:02:22):
I meant to ask you this at the beginning, so, like,
if you had the choice, if, like, someone came up to you and was
like I'm a vampire, would youwant to become a vampire?
Would you say yes or no?
Yeah, fuck, yeah, man.
Yeah, I would, too, no problemhypnotize people and shit.
Let's go.
Oh, be easy, be easy.
I fucking hate.

Speaker 2 (01:02:38):
You know what I?

Speaker 1 (01:02:38):
hate Fucking sunlight dude.
Yeah, I would love to be.
It's the worst.
I love staying up as late aspossible.
Nighttime is the right time.
Just like and you know like Idon't think you like feel pain
or anything as a vampire.
You like heal and become likethe perfect version of yourself,
essentially oh, that'd be sonice if you can still be horny
yeah, I guess.

Speaker 2 (01:02:56):
Yeah, I mean all the vampires I've ever seen vampires
are hell of a horny dudevampires always bone in.
I would be sad about not beingable to eat french fries, but I
would just, I'm sure I get overit.

Speaker 1 (01:03:08):
I would just go somewhere where people are
eating french fries, and thenI'd, you'd eat them after they
eat the french fries.

Speaker 2 (01:03:16):
Just a little salty.

Speaker 1 (01:03:17):
I do love wine.
That would be the worst part.
I guess they can, they can theycan drink drunk blood.
Yeah, they have to drink adrunk guy's blood.
Fucking rules alright.
So would you rather be awerewolf or a vampire?

Speaker 2 (01:03:34):
interesting.

Speaker 1 (01:03:37):
I like werewolves more in like cinema, yeah, but
I'd rather be a vampire I feellike vampires have more
self-control because you don'tget to have fun as a werewolf.

Speaker 2 (01:03:49):
You're just constantly stressed out about
being aware of yeah about thenext time you change into a
werewolf and murder everyone?

Speaker 1 (01:03:55):
yeah, it's got to be stressful.
It's got to go to like live inalaska when it's like daytime
all the time.
All right, I just meant to askyou that at the beginning, but
now it's at the end, so, uh, forthe bad, I got nothing, and I
mean fucking nothing no, I don'teither.

Speaker 2 (01:04:11):
No, no ugly, either I don't yeah for the nothing.

Speaker 1 (01:04:13):
I said.
I got nothing and I meannothing.
It's all great, it was my onlyugly is that, like after Thor,
love and Thunder, people werekind of be like do we have too
much Taika Waititi, and what Isay to that is you have that
opinion.
You can keep, keep listening,but shame on you.

Speaker 2 (01:04:32):
Shame on you, shame on you.
I liked Love.
We're going to do thisprocession of shame, shame.

Speaker 1 (01:04:40):
Shame and the Fine.
It spawned a fantastic show andit really helped boost Taika
Waititi's career.
Fuck yeah, man, One of myfavorite directors.

Speaker 2 (01:04:50):
So Badass, yeah, got anything.
I love New Zealanders, oh yeah,all New, zealanders, yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:04:55):
And the fact that they didn't think this movie was
funny enough makes me thinkthere's funnier shit down there
there could be and you knowhonestly, it could be one of
those things where you know,maybe in New Zealand they're
like this is just how we arethis is like the comedy we
always see, so maybe it's notspecial, and then he brought it

(01:05:16):
over here and it's like superspecial.
Maybe they're all vampires.

Speaker 2 (01:05:18):
Maybe New Zealand doesn't like vampires, you know.
Yeah, I guess.

Speaker 1 (01:05:23):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (01:05:24):
You never really see cultures that are so
anti-vampire.
Yeah, you really don't Like New.

Speaker 1 (01:05:28):
Zealand.
Fuck you New.
Zealand.
Actually, it seems like areally nice place.

Speaker 2 (01:05:33):
It seems like a really nice place, I don't want
to go there.

Speaker 1 (01:05:36):
There's like no animals there that kill you, but
they do have a drug problem,like everywhere.

Speaker 2 (01:05:43):
Nah, and they always get video game releases first,
because I guess the time zonesstart in New Zealand.
They're like the first ones.

Speaker 1 (01:05:50):
Oh, hell, yeah.
Well, what are we doing here?
It also had there's this dopeshow that's on hulu.
Uh, that the director, what'sher fucking name?
Jane champion?
Um, she did like the piano.
Uh, bright star.
Uh, the power of the dog thathad benedict cumberbatch

(01:06:13):
recently she just recently won auh oscar for that movie.
There's a movie called a top ofa tv show called top of the lake
.
It's on hulu.
That's really good.
It's set jane campion's a, umnew zealand.
She's from new zealand, so samneill from jurassic park, by the
way, nice uh, but it's a reallygood like kind of like murder
mystery, like lost child.

(01:06:33):
That's cool show.
It's got Elizabeth Moss in itfrom Handmaid's Tale.
Y'all should check that out.
But for my double feature,which is the category.
We're actually about to startdoing now I chose the movie Hunt
for the Wilder People it's gotSam.
Neill in it.
It's got the kid from Deadpool2.
For anybody that doesn't likebecause I don't think if I said

(01:06:55):
his name anybody would know it'slike julian dennison, sure?
Um, it's just a really fun, youknow it's.
It's fucking taika.
You're like taika, you're gonnalike it.

Speaker 2 (01:07:06):
Mine was gonna be the show flight of the concords.
I think it might still be onmax.
Yeah, it should be, but I thinkso.
God damn that.
That was kind of my firstintroduction into funny New
Zealanders and ill it's so good.

Speaker 1 (01:07:19):
I had like both their albums and everything I still
sometimes listen to like LeggyBlonde Most.

Speaker 2 (01:07:25):
Beautiful Girl, the business socks.
It's business, business time.

Speaker 1 (01:07:30):
It's business time.
Oh yeah, Hip hop-opotamus.

Speaker 2 (01:07:35):
My rhythms are bottomless.
It's great.
The second album was so good.
Yeah, Hip hop Potamus.

Speaker 1 (01:07:37):
My rhythm is bottomless.
It's great.
The second album was so goodtoo.
But, yeah, check out those theshows and movies.
Oh, that'd be a great day.
You watch this Pot of theConcords and Hunt for the Older
People.

Speaker 2 (01:07:51):
We should have a national New Zealand day.

Speaker 1 (01:07:52):
Yeah, if we went to New Zealand, we'd just do it
every day here.
Hey, I Day yeah, if we went toNew Zealand, we'd just do it
every day.
Hey, pointing to my heart everyday is Just kidding, but I mean
they do have two great, reallygreat filmmakers, jane Campion
and Taika Waititi, and my dog'sgetting pissed.
He wants attention.
So join us next week because weare going to be talking about a

(01:08:17):
little indie film that no one'sever heard of and no one in
this room is wearing a button upshirt about.
Wait, wait.
We are going to be joined byDakota and we are going to be
doing Star Wars, a New Hope.
It's probably a movie no onereally ever talks about, and you

(01:08:38):
know, there's like not a lot ofopinions or anything about this
film out there, so we'd love togive our first opinion.

Speaker 2 (01:08:45):
Some people say it's more of a documentary.

Speaker 1 (01:08:47):
Yeah, you know, we just so we're going to cover
that.
I hear it's about like swordfighting and rolling trash cans
in a desert.
It seems like a, like a realdreamy indie film that I can't
wait to see.

Speaker 2 (01:09:04):
I saw this great video today where and they
replaced R2-D2 with Jean-ClaudeVan.

Speaker 1 (01:09:13):
Damme, I'm hooked.
That's awesome, alright.
So shit, everybody look that up, alright.

Speaker 2 (01:09:30):
I think we need to come prepared with our favorite
Star Wars memes too.
Star Wars memes Okay.

Speaker 1 (01:09:36):
Yeah, so join us.
It's for Star Wars, too, starWars memes Okay, yeah, so join
us.
It's for Star Wars A New Hope.
It's the only one of it.
There's not a billion differentthings about it, so listen to
us nerd out about it.
Dakota's going to join, so it'sgoing to be a three hour long
podcast.
Hell yeah, because I'm surewe'll have a lot to say, or
maybe everything's already beensaid about it, so maybe we'll

(01:09:57):
just not have a lot to say atall.
I'm like really selling thefact that I want to do a Star
Wars podcast, right, I've beenkind of waiting to do it and now
here I am like oh, we're goingto talk about it, whatever, I
guess no, you're going to besuper excited as soon as I watch
it and hear the.
I can't do it.
I thought you were about to doHalloween for a second.
Yeah, join us for Star Wars.

(01:10:18):
It's going to fucking rule.
Everybody likes listening topeople talk about Star Wars,
unless you don't care about StarWars, which you're crazy.
So join us next week for that.
Thank you for listening.
Leave us some fan mail.
Be like great bit, jesse, withthe whole Star Wars.
I guess we're going to do it.
That was really hilarious.
You really sold it.

(01:10:38):
You can go to the descriptionand talk, click the link at the
top and just be like hey, righton guys.
Or go to the very bottom andwhere we have our email, we
recommend mailbag at gmailcom.

Speaker 2 (01:10:53):
Damn, losing my mind over here tell us how much your
mind gets blown.
Leave us a review.

Speaker 1 (01:10:57):
Recommend mailbag at gmailcom.
Damn, losing my mind over here.
Tell us how much your mind getsblown.
Check us, leave us a review.
It helps people find us.
The more reviews we get andlike people click on it.
Be like, hey, how many viewsreviews does it have?
And they'll be like people seemto like it, they'll click on it
and then we'll get bigger andthen, I don't know, we'll be
better.
Yeah, yeah, and thank you toJoey Prosser who did our intro

(01:11:18):
and outro music.
You can follow him on X at MrJoey Prosser.
And damn, I believe.
I believe it's almost day time,sunrise.

Speaker 2 (01:11:31):
So I guess we better get out of here.

Speaker 1 (01:11:32):
This has been the this has been the we Recommend
podcast.
I'm Jesse Jason Boy here.
This has been the we recommendpodcast.
I'm jesse jason uh boy, I don'tknow what happened.
Thanks for watching.