April 15, 2025 • 59 mins
Welcome to Episode 69 of the Wed.Co Podcast. Today, Toga sit’s down with Jake from Married By Jake for a chat about his journey as a Wedding Celebrant who regularly books 170 weddings per year. Thanks again to Maroon Hill Estate for allowing us to film this at their stunning venue.
In this episode of the Wedco podcast, host Toga speaks with Jake, a celebrated wedding celebrant, about his journey in the wedding industry. They discuss the importance of building trust with clients, managing a busy schedule, and the significance of self-care.
Jake shares insights on how he handles client relationships, the sources of his inquiries, and the challenges of booking weddings. The conversation highlights the emotional rewards of being part of couples' special days and the need for wedding vendors to support each other in a competitive industry.
In this conversation, the speakers delve into the intricacies of wedding planning, emphasizing the importance of timely vendor bookings, understanding pricing strategies, and creating a comfortable atmosphere for couples and guests. They share insights on learning from industry peers, the art of communication, and the balance between travel and work in the wedding industry.
The discussion highlights the emotional aspects of weddings and the significance of making couples feel at ease on their special day.
Takeaways
- Jake's journey from nightclub owner to wedding celebrant is unique and inspiring.
- Building trust with clients is essential for a successful wedding business.
- Self-care practices, like going to the gym, help manage the stresses of a busy schedule.
- Efficient client management systems are crucial for handling multiple weddings.
- Referrals and reviews are the lifeblood of a wedding celebrant's business.
- The emotional rewards of being part of weddings are profound and fulfilling.
- It's important to remember the personal connections made with clients and their families.
- Managing expectations and communication with clients is key to a smooth wedding process.
- Networking and building relationships with other vendors can lead to more referrals.
- Taking time off and setting boundaries is important for long-term sustainability in the wedding industry. Couples should start planning as soon as they feel comfortable.
- Booking vendors early increases options and reduces stress.
- Peak wedding dates require strategic planning for bookings.
- Pricing should reflect demand and availability in the wedding industry.
- Experience is invaluable for new celebrants and vendors.
- Learning from peers can enhance service delivery.
- Creating a comfortable atmosphere is crucial for wedding success.
- Effective communication can significantly impact guest experience.
- Traveling for weddings can be a balancing act for vendors.
- Building rapport quickly with couples is a vital skill.
Your support enables us to bring more enriching conversations and insights to both engaged couples and wedding professionals.
Stay connected with us on Instagram at @wed.copodcast and watch all your favorite wedding professionals on our YouTube channel @wed.copodcast.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:02):
Welcome to the Wedco podcast, your ultimate guide to the wedding world.
Whether you're a bride, groom or wedding vendor, this is the place to be.
Join us as we dive into real stories, expert advice and behind the scenes insights to helpyou plan the perfect day.
So grab a seat and let's celebrate love, connection and creativity together.
Before we get into this episode, I'd love to ask you a super quick and easy favor.
(00:24):
If you're enjoying the Wedco podcast, please hit that follow button on Apple, Spotify orYouTube.
It might seem small, but it makes a huge difference in helping the podcast grow and meansI can keep bringing on amazing vendors to share their insights with you.
Thank you so much for your support.
truly means the world.
and welcome to the web co podcast.
I'm Toga.
And today we have a Jake on the couch with us.
Thank you so much for coming on, man.
(00:45):
It's, I know you've been off around the world everywhere.
You know, you're doing a lot of stuff.
So, I really appreciate the time for coming up here.
Thanks mate, it's privilege to be invited, really is, you did a great job.
you.
So where were you just recently?
so at the time of filming, we had a cyclone fairly recently.
I imagine that's pretty hot topic.
(01:07):
and I, I just was in right in the middle of my most busy travel schedule ever.
23 flights in 27 days, Oz, which is stupid.
And, but I, I, I do have trouble saying no.
And particularly, I think when I have this penchant for firsts, you know, like,
(01:28):
I haven't done a wedding on PooKit.
Yeah, Yep, now you have them.
the request comes in and I literally said, I'm so sorry, I'm not able, I'm totally flatout.
But I was able to give a bit of thoughts and advice on what their plans were andeverything.
And I just said, you know, if your plans happen to change or the dates came back, whatdates can you do?
(01:53):
I could, the only flights I could get, I had to leave on the 10.55 AM flight out and theyflew in the night before.
So we did a morning.
Well,
Dawn little ceremony for them.
Amazing cyclone happening at home.
Wife and kids at home by themselves in a cyclone.
Yeah, fabulous.
Found out about it when I landed in KL on my way to forget and then had to get home to awedding in Toowoomba postponed.
(02:20):
Okay.
How did you get to this point?
Let's talk about a little bit about your backstory and how we got there.
Buckle up, buckle up.
on that answer.
So I studied engineering and business, but got a job as a result of that in a nightclub,you know, 500 meters from the university, because that's where I spent more of my time.
(02:44):
After a few years bought the nightclub.
Did that for about five years then got into real estate.
And from real estate was offered a job as a pastor in my local church.
and that's when people started asking me to do weddings.
Like a lot.
(03:04):
And when I got offered that job as a pastor, like it was the week that I was about topropose to my girlfriend as well.
So that was interesting.
So babe, you know what I earned last year?
divide that by three.
And will you marry me?
(03:24):
She must've been drunk.
Anyway, so,
Pass those rings all night.
that environment as a minister of religion, I was registered as with the government.
That's how you marry people.
Celebrants will understand what that means, but it's different ways you can marry people.
people just kept asking me to marry them.
I was ending up doing like quite a few weddings every fortnight or so.
(03:50):
Then we have two girls come along and now I'm in a situation where I have no time and verylittle money.
And as it does in life, I guess,
priorities were leaning a lot more family.
So something kind of had to give.
So I became a civil celebrant in early 2012.
(04:11):
Yeah.
Yep.
Wow.
And so then it just pretty much took off from there.
Yeah, so I'd already done hundreds, I think, of weddings, but then in my first year as acelebrant, 130.
And then the next year, 100, I think it was 170, 180.
And then this will be my quietest year since then, it'll be about 170.
(04:32):
And is that that's still a sustainable number?
Like you're happy with that number?
Yeah, that's heaps more.
Yeah, I was doing in the three years after COVID 200 to 220, but that was, that was notpleasant either.
Like, there were good, there were good moments and everything, but I don't like to use thePTSD too much because people really have PTSDs.
(04:53):
But, but I think it as a descriptor without comparison for people who've been to war oranything, it, just so traumatizing going through COVID.
Yeah.
And then so like, I mean, I was going to ask you all these questions about like, how didyou build up and get all these weddings?
Cause like, I think, so you're the most reviewed celebrant in Australia.
Is that right?
I don't know, but I think so.
(05:15):
A couple of AIs said that I might be.
I can't find anyone.
How many reviews have you had?
Google's for 60 something and there's a lot on Facebook as well.
That's crazy.
Is that like a direct link to more work?
But like, it feels like you're already getting the work.
Anyway, yeah.
(05:36):
Well, I think it's all connected.
Hey, I am so grateful for every single review.
Any wedding provider, I think would say it's the lifeblood of business because I thinkwe're before in the wedding industry, before we ever get to be in a wedding, we have to be
trusted.
And so our industry, I think, is all about trust.
(05:58):
And you would know, and many people watching would know whether they're vendors orclients.
When a client, when they feel like they trust you, almost like a penny drop moment, thewhole dynamic changes.
And then on the day, thanks, Toga.
Whereas if the trust penny never dropped, it's, Toga, have you made sure you've got thephoto of the brother?
(06:22):
It's just a really different dynamic and trying to engineer and enjoy and create processeswhere those pennies drop more frequently earlier in the process with more clients.
building trust and crossing that threshold into being trusted by them rather than earningthat trust is total game changer.
(06:43):
And it's what we love.
They're the weddings we love doing.
Hey, when we feel trusted and they're the weddings where it's just so easy to be focusedon the client because we feel like they're bought into us.
So we like, them just the very best we can.
Even if we always want to do that, it's just so much easier when you feel trusted.
It is.
And then the clients that you walk away and like you do go above and beyond on thatwedding because you just, you can feel that coming from them.
(07:08):
And like, even it feels like when the couples come to you like that, it's even like theparents around and the family around, they have so much more respect and trust in you as
well.
It kind of all feeds around the whole group.
And so you end up leaving and everyone's like, see.
Like everyone's trying to say goodbye to you.
And everyone, like some random dude who's drank too much.
He's like, thank you so much for taking the photos.
Like cool, mate.
The random dude feedback.
(07:28):
It matters.
they didn't have to.
It's so good.
But you know what you just described?
That's the picture of working in this wonderful industry.
And that's the win.
Isn't it?
When, when you just get to go home and you were a part of someone's incredible day, likethis is the paint, the picture of the, people think the wedding industry is like.
And that's what it is.
And I think the reason people don't get into it is because of the fear of the opposite.
(07:53):
The fear of what if it's a wedding?
What if some
goes.
And that's even I'll get home to our Kashia, my wife afterwards.
And you've heard some beautiful vows or you've heard some beautiful speeches and it justgives you a reminder every week to like, you know, show the people you love that you love
them.
You get home and you just say like, cause you hear and you're like, you get reallyemotional, like looking at these people and they're saying all these beautiful things to
(08:16):
each other.
And you're like, I need to say this to Kashia more often.
know, so it's a good little reminder to.
my gosh, Toga, you like, you don't know how many times like, what a privilege my positionstanding there with two people getting married, I met them 15 minutes ago.
What is that?
What is that?
It's unbelievable.
Anyway, to your point, I am standing there and they're my job is to build the context andthe last piece of the context puzzle for them to exchange their process.
(08:45):
And there they are exchanging their promises.
And I'm just looking at him and then I start thinking.
I've got to lift my ga- What a scrub of a husband I am.
What was my wife thinking?
Yes to me.
Look at Barry go.
Barry.
It's such a beautiful thing to be a part of.
(09:06):
I want to talk to you then a little bit about looking after yourself because 170, 180weddings, it's a lot of work.
Like I'll probably have, I think I've like 52 weddings for this year and it's a lot ofcouples to remember, to talk to and all that kind of thing.
And as soon as you get busy, like you are, it's hard to put yourself on the back burner.
(09:27):
Are you doing like things actively just to look after yourself in general so then you canrock up on the day a better person as well?
That's really profound Toga, and that's something I'm not as good at.
I think we all have different tendencies and I know that about myself.
lean to work.
I get up early and the first thing I do is go check my work emails.
(09:49):
So not a brag, I think that might in some ways be a weakness.
But looking after, well, for me through COVID, was again, really my head space was bad.
We didn't have answers to questions.
Bridesgrooms, very right to ask questions.
We all have them anyway.
(10:13):
What are we talking about?
Looking after yourself.
So I joined a local gym.
I'd never been in a gym before in my life.
Well, I had, but only once to make sure I'd never went again for another decade.
So I'm going to the gym like first thing every morning now, socially, mentally,physically.
(10:33):
Yeah.
I always thought the gym was like for a thing.
You're looking after your, your future self.
Yeah.
Like gym today.
And every day, I have to go every single day, I to pay membership every single week sothat I feel 10 % better in 20 years.
But during COVID, it became going to that gym right now gets me through today.
(10:55):
It clears up my headspace, it lets me have little wins, it puts me through a struggle thatI survive, and then I can go and do emails from a position that I've already sort of won
the morning.
And that was really critical for me.
Um, so that has continued.
Um, and yeah, my social life is kind of.
(11:15):
don't know.
It's unique to me in the wedding industry.
That's a tricky when I chat with you, you know, 20 minutes before the wedding and you'refrantically sitting somewhere.
It's hard though, cause like you go to the weddings and that is your social setting.
used to work in a bar early on and my wife would shoot weddings with me and I'd come homefrom the bar and you've seen enough people.
(11:39):
Like you get home and you're like, I don't need to talk anymore.
whereas Kashia has been sitting at home, she might've been doing some uni work orsomething like that.
And she's like, so it's kind of the same with weddings where that is almost becomes yoursocial fix as well.
It's not the same as hanging out with close friends, but it's enough to kind of
get you by and be like, I'm okay with that for now.
100 % and you're in the same lane heading in the same direction.
(12:03):
There's so much contextual stuff to talk about.
And then I can talk about your business and you can talk a bit about mine.
As long as it's appropriate and mum and dad aren't there and it's five minutes before theceremony and we're talking about the wedding yesterday.
But it is, it genuinely feels like friendships to me, the wonderful people we get to workwith.
(12:23):
But it's not the same as the friendships you had before.
You never had a weekend.
Do you have set weeks, months or anything like that where you're just like a solid, Idon't work during this period?
No, but I'm going to.
Yeah, I'm going to, I think I'm going to start using some frequent flyer points and maybetake my wife to Bali just for a week in a February or something every year, just to
(12:52):
deliberately be away.
Exactly.
Just have that ritual of like this week is like, and you know, know, like this is when wego away.
I might even do like a, what do call that thing when you set your emails up?
Auto respond out of office.
I might even say.
No way.
So what does life look like this year for you with 170 weddings?
(13:14):
what does, I can't even imagine like looking after 170 clients.
What would, guess someone's come through and they've inquired with you and they're like,yeah, Jake is our man.
What does that process from booking with you through to their wedding day look like?
So all of our businesses from that perspective, first of all, they're all totallydifferent, different needs and everything.
(13:35):
And like, I wouldn't have a clue how do you do your job, but part of a celebrant's job,generally, we need to do a few more weddings than photographers.
So part of our upskilling and everything is that we have to get efficient with thoseprocesses.
So my process used to start 18 months out, because that's when you can legally startsigning paperwork.
(13:56):
And then...
Like last year, I said, this is madness.
I'll start at 12 months out because they don't need to be doing paperwork and so muchchanged.
And just recently we made it six months out.
So I feel like some of my clients, I feel like the risks there is that I've forgottenabout them or something.
Whereas when I was keeping them busy from 12 months out, there was that trust buildingthat went on.
(14:19):
So I'm hopeful that people can still see or feel that trust, but that's what I'm kind ofmanaging at the moment.
I want my clients to know that I never forget about them.
And there are times in my life, appropriate times in my life where they are kind of allthat matters.
Yeah.
But managing that is just really good with the systems.
Yeah.
Systems in place, systems that you trust, but that you can also check because no system'sperfect.
(14:44):
Usually my systems are a lot more reliable than me though.
But again, I even love that part of my job.
I love the part of having a look, having a look at everyone has got workflows.
of Jew this week and not just ticking the box, but looking at where they're at in theirjourney and if they've been interacting with me and what they're up to.
Clients will never know that that's happened.
(15:06):
Maybe I need to get more visible with that.
But to answer that question, it is a lot more systems based.
And in the same way, I will always try to make my next wedding my best wedding, eventhough there's there's foolishness in that statement.
But generally, how can I do this one better?
Same thing from the back end.
(15:28):
Hang on, I've written this email five times, you know, different people.
So this is a question or a concern.
So I have an opportunity to turn this frequent question into a way to make not just thefive clients that asked me and not even just the 50 clients that might have thought it,
but only 10 % of them actually asked, but every single client from now on for the nexthundred years.
(16:01):
Just build more trust.
Have the appearance of more knowledge.
Not that I had any more knowledge, but just putting it down so they can see it.
Another little question that they might have not even thought to ask.
And so always trying to treat the systems like a wedding in that the more we're tweakingthem and making them more efficient and more helpful for our clients and more fulfilling
(16:25):
for them.
think you forget too, like, you don't really realize how much knowledge you have as well.
And it's like, might be a simple question that you wouldn't even expect anyone to ask you.
But then actually, like you said, like making a system and writing that down and likebefore they've even had to ask that question.
It's such a simple thing for you, but it's be like so helpful to the bride and groom aswell.
(16:45):
So it's, it's cool that you are doing that because there's so many times where you, likeyou said, you will write that email 20 times and you're like, I'll just write it again,
right.
And then there's a one second you're like,
Why don't I just make that a template?
And you're like, yeah, here you go.
Yeah.
Or added as a, as a thing in your journey with the couple that you tell them about it.
And then they get so much information.
(17:08):
I never think they will read this and it solves the problem.
And I'm not going to get the emails.
No, the win is that some of them will pick it up and others when they email you go, great.
In the, in that thing that we talked about, you'll see it.
And then you have a template as well.
And then we were just building trust and everything.
But it's funny you say that talker because what you said about, forget what we know.
That's what.
(17:29):
we all talk about about you with this podcast.
You're able, you're really able to tap into people in the wedding industry and, draw outreally powerful and helpful and interesting conversations until now.
But I appreciate it.
It's really not, definitely not natural to me.
but it's, it's, it's like, just me trying to think of like, what don't I know?
(17:53):
And then asking you that question, because like, I've been doing weddings for 13 years,but there's like, I know nothing about being a wedding celebration.
I know I've been married.
I don't know what we did to get married.
Like, you know what mean?
Like, I don't know, like, what did we need to sign again?
Or I actually, I to this day, if someone asked me like, what do you legally need to do toget married?
I wouldn't be able to tell them.
(18:14):
And so it's just like little things like that.
That would be super helpful to a couple that they just got engaged.
They've never even thought about marriage before, but now like, what do we, what do wehave to do?
You know?
brings up one of the quirkiest conversations that I still don't think I do very well in myjob.
It's when someone's been divorced and that they sort of bring it up and they say, yeah,I've done the paperwork before.
(18:37):
And then you're explaining the paperwork.
Yeah.
How do you do that?
Well, you know, they've forgotten and you don't want to bring up as you know, really lotsof tiptoeing.
Where are most people finding you currently?
I've mean you, when I look towards you from the outside, I feel like you have so many goodconnections with realistically everyone in our area.
(19:06):
Everyone.
Like if I say, yeah, I'm having Jake on the podcast, like the amount of people thatmessaged me back.
I like they just loved it.
And so how like, are you getting most of your inquiries still from like Instagram or Ifeel like you'd must be getting tons from referrals from everyone else.
Yeah.
Yeah, everyone was so pumped.
(19:27):
Yeah, well, that touches me.
I take those little wins, then your recommendations are irreplaceable.
So that will always be it.
I feel, I can feel another long answer brewing.
I apologize in advance, but I feel like you need like five or six back scratches as a, as,a couple getting married to get that trust penny dropping type moment or the whole I'm
(19:53):
sold.
one, type of meaning of that is signing a contract and booking.
But I'm sold might happen before that or after that, you know, and that's where the trustis and the win is.
so yes, incredible amount of referrals.
And I can't be grateful enough for that because it really is the lifeblood of my business.
(20:19):
And my CRM would tell me that about a third come from Google.
About a half from referrals.
Yep.
Like close to 50%.
I think it's 51, 49 around there.
Yep.
But that we, we would be foolish, wouldn't we, to think someone said something and that'sit.
(20:39):
Yeah.
So it's always where else they're looking.
They're doing their research and bridegroom journey, planning a wedding, spending a lot ofmoney, investing emotionally, a huge part of their lives, threshold of their life.
There is a lot of research that goes into planning a wedding.
So
It's getting that and that might put you in a really good position to begin to buildtrust.
(21:03):
then, see, I get probably, I'd say two or three leads a month directly from Instagram outof about 100.
So it's really foundational, the referrals and then Google.
But again, I know that if they Google me,
(21:26):
they might have found and they're looking at lots of celebrants and there's plenty of workto go around and everything but to choose me they'll need to see my social media.
for me it's a bit of fun like sometimes the story reels a bit less personality becausethey stay there.
Stories I feel like I'm putting my personality out there for a while maybe that's good.
(21:50):
Nah, I love those one every time I see you working out.
I'm like, woo hoo, watch out.
yeah, cause that is, that is a bit of unique.
So then if people are following you, they can get to know you enough that they feel likethat back scratch has happened as well.
Real person don't hate him.
These people recommended him look at some other sites and might be recommended a couple ofthings.
(22:16):
Yeah.
Hugely important though.
I'm so grateful.
And so I try to, can I give back?
Like how, how can I
Because a lot of times when people contact me, it's a bit of a dead end.
But so I'm trying to find ways to refer other celebrants as well that I hear good thingsabout.
Because it's about 800 a year that I have to say no to.
(22:38):
Because that's the thing to do to do.
Like to go from doing zero weddings to 50.
50 in a year.
How many in that year?
How many couples have to think I want to book that supplier for you to book 50?
And it's not 50.
It might be 60, 80, because, no, you want to get married on the same Saturday?
(22:59):
That's the wedding problem,
No, a seven.
There we go.
Huge.
exactly.
10th of October, 2020.
Massive.
So to get from, that's hard, that's hard business building to get there, but you don'tneed as much quality inquiry.
(23:21):
Then to get from 50 to 150, I think is, or to 100, like is easier because you've gotmomentum.
You're moving around, you're doing weddings so you can speak with a greater authority.
to get the 151st wedding.
Like you need more than 500 inquiries because you're booked for them all.
(23:47):
Yeah.
And then obviously some people don't want to book you.
So yeah, that's the thing is that the amount of quality inquiry I need to sustain mybusiness, my wife isn't able to work.
Got two daughters.
No one should care about this, but for Trent, which we're talking.
You know, like I need to earn more.
(24:10):
That's kind of my job as I'm also dad and husband.
So no couple needs to factor that in.
No one should or anything, not asking anyone to, but you know, I've got to.
Yeah.
So it's, it's not, it's not 200 inquiries.
I find to get to the 171 80, I need 1 % of inquiries of every wedding that happens inAustralia.
(24:41):
Of every wedding in Australia, 1 % has to inquire with me.
So that's why I try to be friendly.
That's insane.
I haven't really thought about that.
Like the amount of leads, like you said, what one in every 20 you'd be, I mean, sorry,it'd be the other way around like 19 and 20.
You're like, I'm booked for that day.
I'm booked for that Saturday.
And like, it's so disheartening when you get that lead and you're like booked again,booked again.
(25:06):
mean, I'm at like said 52 for this year and I'm definitely getting that now.
Um, we're like, it's just so disappointing and you don't want to do the kind of
the higher, you know, other associate shooters to shoot for you and all that kind ofthing.
But then it's like, but then how else, I can't get a thousand leads every year.
But that's, that's our challenge is how do we make this business?
(25:27):
So we're always trying to balance the pendulum.
I'm getting lots of inquiries that I'm already booked for.
So I kind of have to have written that off.
I'm not disappointed at all anymore, but, I want to get better at, where's that wedding?
How can I just be a little bit helpful?
I did a wedding a couple of weeks ago and they said they...
(25:51):
because I sent such a caring email to their friends who wanted to book me but I wasn'tavailable for.
I'm so I need to, and in my head, I'm like, I don't usually.
But I like, remember a few times, sometimes I just see enough in there and I feel likethis couple need a bit of help.
(26:14):
You know, a lot of the times it's six weeks before the wedding.
And I go, I can't just say no, these couple, it's going to be hard for me to say it in afriendly diplomatic way and sound like I'm not being like.
but I've got a word something here.
They need to know they need a celebrant this week.
They probably don't know that because they're being very, you know, get this beautifulinquiry and it's like, they feel like they're choosing a celebrant, know, and their
(26:44):
marriage is in six weeks.
And it's like, I need to help them understand that inquire with every celebrant you canand whomever is available that you like, that gets back to you the nicest.
Because if you want to get married then it's time.
Yeah, you gotta do it.
That's like when I get couples, you know, cause I guess kind of venue, probably celebrantand photographer kind of come similar times, I would say.
(27:10):
but like if people, ask me and the same thing, like you are one of the three that Irecommend.
And I'm just like, he's just a really nice guy.
You know, like there's, I don't really choose people who like, there might be some supertrendy florist over here or whatever, but it's like, whoever I recommend are just nice
people.
And as soon as you tell the couple that.
I feel like that resonates with them as well.
(27:31):
It's like, just like working with good people and, um, but like, but then like most of thetime, if I say that to a couple, they will inquire with you and you're to a 20, 28, but
you know what I mean?
Like it's, think just because the, personality you have and what you give out to people,and it might deplete you when you do give that out.
Cause I know a lot of people I speak to in the wedding industry.
(27:54):
probably lean more towards the introvert side of things.
then you are at a wedding and you have to be extrovert and you have to be out there.
And I feel like a lot of vendors after the day are just like, it definitely like what yougive off on a wedding day.
And when anyone asks you questions, you are forthcoming with, you know, anything you needto give out.
it's just, people just pick up on that.
(28:14):
I think that's something I enjoy doing, you know, and I know you do too.
When we talk about a wedding, it's, but we are tired later.
You know, it's not tiring, but how am I so tired?
The next morning you're on the gym and you're like, I feel hungover.
Like I didn't, I definitely didn't drink and I'm like, so, like couples then obviouslythey have a timeframe when, when are most couples kind of inquiring with you in general?
(28:44):
know you're getting a lot of leads, but you kind of have an average of when people startgetting in contact with you.
Yeah, they ask me that a lot and I just say now.
And then I soften it a bit because I really do believe this.
It's as soon as you're comfortable.
Because the longer you wait, the less choice you'll have.
It's just simple math.
(29:05):
The longer you wait, so that's fine.
But if you're not comfortable yet, then you're not ready.
And I mean that in a helpful way, you know, like, like, imagine like you get proposed to,my gosh, I'm engaged quick call a celebrant too soon, too soon.
but there's a time when whatever that journey looks like for you and the usual journey,start Googling, look at recommendations you might've got Google, do a bit of whatever your
(29:35):
research looks like for you.
and when, when you feel like you can do that and
that's when you should book because I do see a lot of people that get back to me fourmonths later and not only in my book, but I know so many of my celebrate friends in that
four months will have been booked.
(29:57):
And there's five names I could give and they were all available and now none of them are.
the key for us, like I think you said before, 25th September, like that's what determineshow far ahead you should book.
you've...
So I would just say if you've booked your venue, don't put off booking, I would saycelebrant and photographer because they're the ones that get booked every Saturday and
(30:24):
quite early, but, then everyone, everyone else as well.
Cause I don't, I don't want to say book your celebrant first.
Cause that's not what I mean, but generally every wedding will have a photographercelebrant.
And if you focus on them first and then straight into the others, not rush, but as soon asyou're comfortable.
because you're going to take this much time to do that research and to inquire anyway.
(30:46):
So whether this much time is three months before your wedding or 18 months before yourwedding, it's the same amount of time.
And I feel like you've you've you're in such a better footing if you do that earlier.
I was speaking to a couple the other day and they they're like, look, we're definitelygoing to book with you.
We just will book next week.
And I'm like, look, I'm not trying to be salesy at all.
(31:06):
But like, I will book this day.
And there's there's literally like, if you like, if you need to reduce a deposit amount orsomething like that, that's fine with me.
It's just like, there's is absolutely no point waiting.
Cause like the otherwise like, yeah, like I'm, I'm sorry, but I'm not going to hold thedate.
Like someone else comes in there, like we want to book right now.
I'd be like, cool.
Let's do this.
As long as you know, we're a good couple.
We're going to be a good fit, but like there, sometimes there's, there isn't a point injust holding off.
(31:31):
You just got to sometimes commit.
So it's hard.
That phrase I've said a lot as soon as you're comfortable.
And I'd say get comfortable as soon as you can.
Um, um, but, but maybe a more helpful answer if couples are thinking how far ahead shouldI, that is the answer.
But again, it is so date specific because I'll say no to your 20, 20, 27 wedding on aSaturday in September.
(31:58):
I'm so sorry, but there will be people, know, like there will still be good people.
And there's dates that heaps of other celebrants have booked for that I'm not.
So you never know.
But if you wait, you don't know.
Like I'm available next Monday.
(32:19):
Not that you can legally get married.
It's even, I've had a few couples come through lately as well.
And, I've always said in the past, like, well, maybe just, know like venue for most peopleis the number one thing, but also even going to your celebrant florist, if florist is
your, you you need this florist, this musician I need and going to speak it to like, maybeyour three favorite people would be like, Hey, when are you guys all available?
(32:42):
And then going to the venue and being like, okay, do you have these days still available?
Like a fair few more people are starting to do that as well.
rather than just booking the venue and then hoping that the vendors they wanted are stillavailable to, which is like a good little, you people can try.
So, but yeah, I mean, it's always, I feel like it's shifting so much, like even with youtalking about the, the, all the popular dates, like I've, this will be my busiest year
(33:12):
I've had in the last 13 years.
And it's, it's kind of getting
to the point where you need to know exactly what the peak dates are.
even looking forward to like 2025 and 2026 now I've kind of identified, okay, these arethe 12 sat days that I will 100 % get booked.
Um, and even having like, I've got a sliding scale of pricing now that like, if they'regoing to be on that day, this is the price that's going to be because I will a hundred
(33:35):
percent book it.
And I think that's coming back to knowing you can only do X amount of days and you'vereally got to have like,
if people want, they're gonna pay peak prices at a wedding venue, they should be paying apeak price for us at the same time.
I just think you're really hitting the ground because it is, some couples will understandthat in a heartbeat.
(33:59):
Others may never get it.
And I totally understand that as well.
But how many days can you get work in a year to survive and you can't meet everybody?
If no one's telling you you're too expensive, you're too cheap.
(34:21):
yeah.
I'm not saying go get as much money as you can, but like if people are willing to pay it,that's it.
So like you say, there's a date and you go, that date is going to book.
What do I do with that as a business person who's got to look after my family?
(34:42):
Is there kind of an obligation on me to make my pricing this and then discount otherdates?
Or do I have a premium date thing?
And does that turn people off?
It's a huge thing, though.
But I think everybody in our business has to wrestle with it.
And couples as well, because they know if they're booking a Saturday, it's thiscompetition.
Yeah, for sure.
(35:02):
Yep.
It's going to be a, yeah, a September wedding in Byron Bay.
yeah.
Like on a Saturday.
Good luck.
Be quick, but also maybe, and this is, you I'm wrestling with that as well.
Also, maybe you might need to pay more.
Yeah, exactly.
If okay, so I'll go on to the vendor side of things at the moment.
If there was a new like the obviously there's a plethora of new wedding vendors coming in,probably not so much more.
(35:29):
I feel like maybe two or three years ago, there was a massive leap of like wedding vendorscoming in.
If it's like a celebrant was about to start now, and they hadn't done any weddings before,like what would be the couple of tips that you would give, you know, to yourself starting
over again?
Oh my gosh, you poor thing.
I think doing those first ones is really hard.
(35:51):
I had a mechanism.
I was in a church and that's conducive.
Had the ability to marry, friendship, knowledge.
So if you are starting out, then what ideas could I come up with?
Maybe you could ask other service providers.
(36:14):
If they know of anyone who needs a celebrant, here's a little bit about me.
And if it's a date that people can't do or you know it's hard or it's last minute orsomething, I will do it.
This is what I'm going to charge, but this is what I will charge.
Because if you're going to have a career, if you're going to make, if you're investing andyou want to make a career out of this, it will not happen if you haven't done a wedding.
(36:42):
Yeah.
And then it will not happen if you haven't done 10.
So right now, looking back to me, if I was having trouble doing them, money would not beeven an issue.
The balance of the trade off for the experience, for the income, it's all experience.
The experience is invaluable.
Because as soon as you've said, as soon as you can say, yeah, I've done three weddings,then it's easy to sell as a discounted service.
(37:08):
I seem like a nice guy, you know.
the photographer that recommended it and he wasn't, it was awesome.
Like he was friendly.
Whereas if you're trying to balance making money on those first ones and wondering what todo, my advice there would be ditch the income side of it as much as you're comfortable.
(37:31):
But, I love my job so much.
And if I was speaking to someone who's going to love this job that much, just get awedding under your belt and then get another one.
because you and I can talk about tweaking pricing.
But when you don't have momentum, you can't.
I feel like that'd be harder actually, like as a photographer, you can always go do acouple shoot.
You know, like it's pretty easy to like, Hey, I'm doing free engagement shoots andthere'll be 10 people.
(37:55):
They're like, we'll do it.
You know, so it's a lot E I feel like actually the yeah, barrier to entry would be a loteasier for a photographer.
Whereas a celebrant that's yeah, that's a pretty big deal.
quite unique to our country too.
Like in the States, you get your larrikin, not that they use that term, your mate who'sgot the gift of the gab to just get registered somewhere.
But in Australia, like there's a lot of barriers to entry to becoming a celebrant.
(38:20):
So, I mean, how, with no knowledge of the person and they've never done a wedding, it'sjust such a big stretch to get the booking.
So, and yeah, you're right.
Here's some photos I've taken.
Like, here's a video of me doing a practice ceremony for the attorney general.
(38:42):
Exactly.
Yeah, for sure.
There's nothing there.
you like, I mean, I feel like you kind of get established for me, photography,videography, and up until that point, you've learned, learned, learned, learned.
Now you're like, I'm kind of in a happy place.
And I felt like it was almost like 10 years where I didn't revisit my craft muchwhatsoever.
Do you still, are there any celebrants that you see outside of our area or anything thatyou look up to?
(39:08):
Josh withers.
And then there are lots that I just think, a look at how differently they're doing thingsand everything.
I interact with lots.
Josh though is selfless.
Like he, he, he, he deliberately wants to give back.
Like almost tear to my eye type stuff.
(39:29):
and too expensive himself at a lot of times as well.
Yeah, he's, he's given me tips that like, I see him gives the tips to everybody.
And I'm like, how come I'm not doing it?
Like totally changed the way I do business.
So very, very generous and look up to him.
But when people ask me about celebrants in detail, I say a lot of what I actually know ofthem in the job, doing the job is because photographers tell me.
(40:01):
If you I have some names because I know of them enough by reputation, some I recommendthat I haven't even ever spoken to, but I know I know Toga and a few other photographers
have said venue recommends and then I look at their socials.
Yeah, I'm safe to tell someone to go to them.
What was the question?
(40:22):
Sorry, mate.
just like, looking up to other vendors, like other celebrants, or is there any, likeinspiration you get from, like, I would say you're at the top of your game.
Is there many other people that you look to outside of that?
Yeah, so I think everyone will do something better than me.
(40:42):
I think that's a really good, respectful place to start.
Someone who's done, a person that we were just talking about, a hypothetical person who'sabout to do their first wedding, I reckon I could find something they did better than me.
I reckon I could, it would be hard for them to coach me, I hope, you know?
And I'd be able to, I'd probably have a long list of things, but.
(41:05):
In that moment, I could tell he cared about the groom.
Magic, magic.
You know, there's always something we can be learning.
And I think everyone who tries to go out there and swing a camera or a microphone or abunch of flowers, like, is immediately worthy of so much credit just because it is such a
(41:27):
special day.
And we've crossed that threshold of going, I'm going to have a go at helping this couplewith this most special day and take that risk.
so I would, I, I get things from people all the time that even aren't celebrants the way,you know, talking about their, their systems, but also, look at that lovely chat they're
having with mum.
(41:48):
I noticed that the groom noticed that florist is probably going to get a review.
huh, for sure.
You don't even think that like we're just walking around like the people you speak to,it's very much like couple focused on the day.
But then like you said, yeah, you do have a chat to dad or auntie or something like that.
And you don't realize how much it affects them as well.
That's the thing I've really learned in the last 12 months or so is that people will speakwell of their day.
(42:17):
If you go buy a new car, there's 90 % chance you're to tell people, love my car.
Yeah, so when I hear great ceremony, I love it.
But but I also know that's that's where the day leans.
(42:38):
But two weeks later, in the middle of lunch, an uncle doesn't have to say to a nephew,your celeb room is amazing.
And if I think how I can get that, then it's the reason the uncle says that that'll get mespoken about in a way that if I wasn't doing that thing, I might not get the Google
(43:06):
review.
or I might not get you being kind enough to recommend me.
And I never know what that is.
Yeah.
And I have found it's more the...
Often it's the people around the couple.
And a frequent one I'm hearing now that might fall into the category of helping newcelebrants is almost a tear to people's eye when they come up afterwards.
(43:31):
I could see how much you cared about Sally.
You know, and usually I'm finding what's the trigger for that is just to drop the mic abit.
When we're a few minutes in, you know, because the walk down the aisles happen now.
But we always talk about how weddings go so quickly.
And we forget everything.
(43:51):
And what better way to just slow it down a bit than.
You know, you're right.
But the amount of feedback I get from little things like that and that will make that willnot make, but it motivates.
Mum, Dad, Uncle to talk favourably back to my couple and mate, if they're talking there,what happens when they hear about a wedding?
(44:13):
It's just so genuine and people pick up on that, especially, you know, there, there can bethe celebrants that it is the celebrant show.
And maybe it's different because we see so many celebrants, but where it's, you can tellit's a show.
It's no, it's no different to me when I do the, the big group photo.
I know my spiel and it feels fake.
(44:35):
People still love it, but you can still kind of get this thing.
is spectacular.
But, but like when you actually do take that time to slow down and like you guys good,like people like, he actually gives it like, actually cares.
which is insane.
And all that happens is you translate that care, because you do care.
(44:57):
But that doesn't mean you like I was caring before I started just being mindful to hangon.
I feel like things are going to be quickly and I'm I'm at lots of weddings.
So if I notice things are going quickly, there's a bit of an obligation to me because it'sdefinitely going quickly for my clients.
So I'm just going to.
(45:19):
I'm just going to check in with them.
bit of a game changer, you know, on the mic off the mic.
Everything used to be on the mic, even if it was checking, even if it was, but dropping itjust so much more care.
But it's, it's looking for things that, that achieve that.
(45:40):
Wow.
10 minutes after a wedding, someone will come up and say, that was an amazing ceremony.
And I would never say this, but if I said what, why, what did I say?
No one has an answer.
So what made it great then?
It's not the words that I agonize over, you know, it's not, it's, it's because they don'tremember any of them or if they do, they'll be lucky to remember a phrase or something,
(46:06):
but it's always going to be the, the, that made them feel.
And for me, that's a journey of safety.
People need to feel safe for certain.
There's, there's trepidation coming to a wedding, certainly for the bride and groom.
We all, it all.
manifest differently, but there's always some kind of fear or anxiety or overwhelmingnessor they're flooded.
(46:28):
But even when people walk up to a where do we sit?
What a horrible way.
What a environment in which to celebrate a relationship.
We're in this thing of, don't want to do it wrong.
I don't want to do it wrong.
No, no one's fault.
Hey, you know, you know, I'm not saying, but that's how we arrive at a wedding because wedon't want to.
I don't want to, I don't want to sit in the wrong spot.
(46:51):
friend or should be in that aisle.
for that one guy.
But so for me, trying to just help people feel safe.
Trying to help people know what the bride and groom want the data to feel like.
And I do that really deliberately because I want the guests to go, there's a bit of, I cando that.
(47:12):
I can have a nice day.
If they want phones on silent, maybe why?
Because then, because if we're talking about the reason, we're getting a bit real and allof a sudden, though it is routine for me, it hopefully helps connect people so they can
feel a bit of that wedding angst dissipate.
(47:35):
So when our bride walks in, we're just a bit more comfortable.
It's a real skill to be able to build up that rapport and that comfortability with acouple in that amount of time.
I know you know each other prior to the wedding, know, checking in and doing everythingyou're doing, but to build up that so quickly is such a big skill to have.
(47:56):
feel like if, imagine like every aspect of your life, you're able to do that with peopleyou just came across how full your life would be.
Yeah, I'd have some friends.
You still have too much work.
You still wouldn't, mate.
For me, it's like I liken it to a rocket ship and a bus.
And for me, it's the couple, yes, but the couple for me now, because they're close to me,physically, I feel like I'm picking them up anyway, and I wanna check in with them.
(48:29):
But for me, the next level that really affects the day is the management and leadership ofthe atmosphere.
And of that...
There is so much going on and so many wonderful service providers that have implementedinstallations and lighting's been set up for video and everything like, and the venue
like, my gosh, so much has gone into it.
(48:51):
But, but it's my job because the guests play such a role in that atmosphere.
And it's my job and our job as celebrants to work with that.
And that's what I'm really enjoying working on at the moment.
So I get this picture of the bus and the rocket.
And I go like, when I'm preparing, I'm always trying to take people on a journey.
(49:17):
I never want it to be informational as much as it is about resonating.
I'm not informing people.
Those people, I assume, know the couple better than me.
And if they're not, I take that into account too.
Like if someone's cousin just got married and they've never met the wife or something likethat, that's okay, they're adults.
(49:37):
Yeah.
If I just say the name of the pub and move on with the story, they must admit there, wejust don't need, think, to treat people like they don't know the couple.
They know them.
They know them better than me.
So I'm resonating.
I'm throwing out breadcrumbs.
not.
But and then I want to talk about really meaningful things as well, because hopefullythere's been some levity, not punchlining, but personal, because that levity works so much
(50:03):
better because it's unique to the couple.
So people appreciate it more because it doesn't feel like a spill.
Cause it's about them.
And then when we get meaningful, it hits with so much more gravitas because we've loosenedup a little bit.
we're, we're getting like that word I use before context.
I'm all about when they get to exchange their vows.
I've, I've, I've been blessed to create an amazing context for that moment.
(50:27):
So the rocket ship and the bus, when I'm walking in and I see like 60 % of the crowd arelike this, you know, yeah.
best man walks past someone goes, yeah, good on you.
my gosh, it's a big day.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And, like 30 % of the crowd goes with them.
when the mother of the bride walks down and we're getting close and if everyone's sort oflooks and all this, you know, this, this is nice.
(50:51):
And a few people have maybe, good on you.
That's a rocket ship.
They're going to be, more natural and perhaps effortless to lead to the destination of agreat context.
another wedding I'll walk into and you'll see it too and everyone's facing.
(51:15):
And people are looking at the corners, you know, and a grimsman walks in and no one evenreally acknowledges or looks or says anything.
There is nothing wrong.
There's no judgment as which is better.
I would submit that the latter is a bit harder to lead, but that's my job.
And so the first kind of vibe, I put them in a rocket ship and I'll speak as such.
(51:40):
I know that when I go like this...
They're gonna kind of come with me and I'll be able to pause at the end of it and they'llgo, yeah, was thinking what he said was good.
Always again, I've always avoiding punchline because if you hit a punchline, it doesn'twork.
You've let all the you've let it all go.
But
(52:01):
the bus atmosphere, there's a real beauty in leading that as well.
And there's a bit more maybe reluctance or a bit more carefulness, but if I'm speaking alittle bit more like this and I can deliver and in my prep I'm thinking I might deliver
like this or it might be if it's feeling a bit more sedated, a bit more like this.
Because if you try to put those people in a rocket ship, you're not getting anywhere orthere's going be a lot of complaints.
(52:26):
If you put the rocket ship people in a bus, it's…
You're a bi-
Yeah.
You're not going to be the farm like this over and they all talk about.
Yeah.
But if it comes across just that bit more today, but we get more people on board.
And once you get more people on board and the kindling's lit a little bit and the bus isin motion, we can still have a really good time.
(52:48):
But I want to be able to deliver in a spectrum so that the guests that the couple loveresonate and respond with what's being said so that the maximum amount of
people are engaged throughout the whole interaction so that again, when it comes time forBarry and Sally to exchange their wedding vows, the context has been set so well, it feels
(53:14):
so special for them and it feels so special for the guests to be a part of as well.
Can I ask, have you had formal training in delivery communication, like speaking?
Back when I was a pastor, had to, yeah, it was a pretty big church.
so yeah, I, like, I remember getting asked to speak to like 50 people in a subgroup of asubgroup of the massive church.
(53:39):
And I remember, I was terrified of public speaking, biggest fear in the world.
Like kneeling on the toilet floor, not a clean toilet floor.
Just for context.
A guy has a toilet floor not clean.
Yeah, yeah.
Leaning on, you know, the seat, like not leaning on.
(54:02):
salivating with dry reaching from fear.
Just speak to 50 people.
Yeah.
That's like, just because the way you speak, I can understand why people want to comealong on your journey.
Like you so, you are so accentuated and you kind of build up.
it's at all, I feel like I'm through to your tempo and it's, if it's natural, it's amazingbecause like, feel you're like your tempo and you got to build up and build up and build
(54:29):
up.
now we're going to take it down.
And that's when people like, like, and like waiting to hear what you say.
And it's like me sitting here listening to you right now.
I'm like, I am in your journey.
You know what I mean?
Like, which is like, that's exactly what you want.
But I feel like people would pay lots of money to learn what you are doing.
(54:49):
Hopefully I listen to your podcast.
That'd be big win for me.
It's great.
It's great.
Yeah.
I just, I just really love it.
and I see the value in, you you look out and there's eye contact.
Put a value on that.
Like, like I'm learning, you know, to put a, how can I maximize that?
How, and that's where I got, get the rocket ship in the bus.
(55:12):
And I thought of that on the drive up, but it's kind of what I'm trying to do.
I'm learning how to be better.
at being flexible in the delivery to make sure that I've got, we got 60 % of the peoplebefore we can move.
And then how fast can we move?
they got on straight away.
I can do all the tricks today.
(55:33):
We can really, know, we might even be able to make fun of the best man or something, butI've got to be really confident with that.
Or this is going to be slow, but I'm going to get them there.
I'm going to build a little bonfire here.
And by the time the clients that have trusted me to create a beautiful day for them, to bea part of the team that creates a beautiful day for them, by the time they exchange their
(55:58):
vows, this will feel different.
So cool, man.
I love it.
Man, this is a good job.
Like chatting to you right now.
It's like, there's so many takeaways.
Me just listening to you.
yeah, this is awesome.
I want to ask one last thing before it's been an hour already.
Crazy.
(56:18):
with the amount of weddings you're getting and like the higher end one, does that meanthat you do have to, I know you've been on a lot of flights recently.
Are you traveling a lot more now than previously?
And was that kind of a, is that something you wanted to do?
I definitely enjoy travel.
Yep.
That was the least I've enjoyed it.
(56:39):
Okay.
Cause it was too frantic, but again, it was the, the, it was busy and then throw aThailand in there in the middle of like, but, for me, again, there is, there's a, a burden
in a good way that I need to be busy and that creates a slant towards.
(57:06):
I, I'm, I want to be passionate about my job and I enjoy it, but I, I, I need morebookings.
So what has happened with the travel is when Brisbane and the Southeast Queensland arequieter, I'm more available.
And that's really all it is.
I, I look at my diary, I don't do it deliberately.
(57:27):
I look at my diary and I go, my gosh, I am traveling a lot in February and,
When I look back, it's kind of a consistent amount of inquiry from Sydney, a consistentamount of inquiry from Melbourne, inquiries from everywhere else, lesser.
Nearly, I can't think of an international wedding I've done that I was available on thedate to do it.
(57:47):
But often there've been a lot of many type things and they're able to move.
So it's being flexible when a wedding that is in a destination that I would like to do, ifI can't do it, I...
just try to be as helpful as I can because I know that those ones sometimes turn into theycome back and they change.
(58:10):
I want to make sure I don't come across like if you change your date or I'll think aboutit.
It's because it's not like that at all.
But I get I get excited for them and I turn that excitement into if there's anything Icould do to suggest.
But yeah, the travel basically comes when it gets quieter in southeast Queensland.
I'm just more available for the Sydney inquiries.
(58:30):
I turn away.
turn away a lot of Sydney and Melbourne because just the travel and all the peak dates.
If I've got a wedding day before, day after, and it's a drive from Brisbane, sometimesit's just like, I've got Brisbane inquiries as well.
(58:51):
Exactly.
All right, Jake.
Thank you so much.
Where can people find you?
Social media and website and all that kind of thing.
married by Jake everywhere.
Love it, mate.
Awesome.
Thank you so much for taking the time.
I know you're a busy man, but I really appreciate it and I know all listeners are reallygoing to appreciate this one.
thank you so much.
(59:13):
Thank you.
Thanks, buddy.
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Welcome to the Wedco podcast, your ultimate guide to the wedding world.
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Join us as we dive into real stories, expert advice and behind the scenes insights to helpyou plan the perfect day.
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(00:24):
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It might seem small, but it makes a huge difference in helping the podcast grow and meansI can keep bringing on amazing vendors to share their insights with you.
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truly means the world.
and welcome to the web co podcast.
I'm Toga.
And today we have a Jake on the couch with us.
Thank you so much for coming on, man.
(00:45):
It's, I know you've been off around the world everywhere.
You know, you're doing a lot of stuff.
So, I really appreciate the time for coming up here.
Thanks mate, it's privilege to be invited, really is, you did a great job.
you.
So where were you just recently?
so at the time of filming, we had a cyclone fairly recently.
I imagine that's pretty hot topic.
(01:07):
and I, I just was in right in the middle of my most busy travel schedule ever.
23 flights in 27 days, Oz, which is stupid.
And, but I, I, I do have trouble saying no.
And particularly, I think when I have this penchant for firsts, you know, like,
(01:28):
I haven't done a wedding on PooKit.
Yeah, Yep, now you have them.
the request comes in and I literally said, I'm so sorry, I'm not able, I'm totally flatout.
But I was able to give a bit of thoughts and advice on what their plans were andeverything.
And I just said, you know, if your plans happen to change or the dates came back, whatdates can you do?
(01:53):
I could, the only flights I could get, I had to leave on the 10.55 AM flight out and theyflew in the night before.
So we did a morning.
Well,
Dawn little ceremony for them.
Amazing cyclone happening at home.
Wife and kids at home by themselves in a cyclone.
Yeah, fabulous.
Found out about it when I landed in KL on my way to forget and then had to get home to awedding in Toowoomba postponed.
(02:20):
Okay.
How did you get to this point?
Let's talk about a little bit about your backstory and how we got there.
Buckle up, buckle up.
on that answer.
So I studied engineering and business, but got a job as a result of that in a nightclub,you know, 500 meters from the university, because that's where I spent more of my time.
(02:44):
After a few years bought the nightclub.
Did that for about five years then got into real estate.
And from real estate was offered a job as a pastor in my local church.
and that's when people started asking me to do weddings.
Like a lot.
(03:04):
And when I got offered that job as a pastor, like it was the week that I was about topropose to my girlfriend as well.
So that was interesting.
So babe, you know what I earned last year?
divide that by three.
And will you marry me?
(03:24):
She must've been drunk.
Anyway, so,
Pass those rings all night.
that environment as a minister of religion, I was registered as with the government.
That's how you marry people.
Celebrants will understand what that means, but it's different ways you can marry people.
people just kept asking me to marry them.
I was ending up doing like quite a few weddings every fortnight or so.
(03:50):
Then we have two girls come along and now I'm in a situation where I have no time and verylittle money.
And as it does in life, I guess,
priorities were leaning a lot more family.
So something kind of had to give.
So I became a civil celebrant in early 2012.
(04:11):
Yeah.
Yep.
Wow.
And so then it just pretty much took off from there.
Yeah, so I'd already done hundreds, I think, of weddings, but then in my first year as acelebrant, 130.
And then the next year, 100, I think it was 170, 180.
And then this will be my quietest year since then, it'll be about 170.
(04:32):
And is that that's still a sustainable number?
Like you're happy with that number?
Yeah, that's heaps more.
Yeah, I was doing in the three years after COVID 200 to 220, but that was, that was notpleasant either.
Like, there were good, there were good moments and everything, but I don't like to use thePTSD too much because people really have PTSDs.
(04:53):
But, but I think it as a descriptor without comparison for people who've been to war oranything, it, just so traumatizing going through COVID.
Yeah.
And then so like, I mean, I was going to ask you all these questions about like, how didyou build up and get all these weddings?
Cause like, I think, so you're the most reviewed celebrant in Australia.
Is that right?
I don't know, but I think so.
(05:15):
A couple of AIs said that I might be.
I can't find anyone.
How many reviews have you had?
Google's for 60 something and there's a lot on Facebook as well.
That's crazy.
Is that like a direct link to more work?
But like, it feels like you're already getting the work.
Anyway, yeah.
(05:36):
Well, I think it's all connected.
Hey, I am so grateful for every single review.
Any wedding provider, I think would say it's the lifeblood of business because I thinkwe're before in the wedding industry, before we ever get to be in a wedding, we have to be
trusted.
And so our industry, I think, is all about trust.
(05:58):
And you would know, and many people watching would know whether they're vendors orclients.
When a client, when they feel like they trust you, almost like a penny drop moment, thewhole dynamic changes.
And then on the day, thanks, Toga.
Whereas if the trust penny never dropped, it's, Toga, have you made sure you've got thephoto of the brother?
(06:22):
It's just a really different dynamic and trying to engineer and enjoy and create processeswhere those pennies drop more frequently earlier in the process with more clients.
building trust and crossing that threshold into being trusted by them rather than earningthat trust is total game changer.
(06:43):
And it's what we love.
They're the weddings we love doing.
Hey, when we feel trusted and they're the weddings where it's just so easy to be focusedon the client because we feel like they're bought into us.
So we like, them just the very best we can.
Even if we always want to do that, it's just so much easier when you feel trusted.
It is.
And then the clients that you walk away and like you do go above and beyond on thatwedding because you just, you can feel that coming from them.
(07:08):
And like, even it feels like when the couples come to you like that, it's even like theparents around and the family around, they have so much more respect and trust in you as
well.
It kind of all feeds around the whole group.
And so you end up leaving and everyone's like, see.
Like everyone's trying to say goodbye to you.
And everyone, like some random dude who's drank too much.
He's like, thank you so much for taking the photos.
Like cool, mate.
The random dude feedback.
(07:28):
It matters.
they didn't have to.
It's so good.
But you know what you just described?
That's the picture of working in this wonderful industry.
And that's the win.
Isn't it?
When, when you just get to go home and you were a part of someone's incredible day, likethis is the paint, the picture of the, people think the wedding industry is like.
And that's what it is.
And I think the reason people don't get into it is because of the fear of the opposite.
(07:53):
The fear of what if it's a wedding?
What if some
goes.
And that's even I'll get home to our Kashia, my wife afterwards.
And you've heard some beautiful vows or you've heard some beautiful speeches and it justgives you a reminder every week to like, you know, show the people you love that you love
them.
You get home and you just say like, cause you hear and you're like, you get reallyemotional, like looking at these people and they're saying all these beautiful things to
(08:16):
each other.
And you're like, I need to say this to Kashia more often.
know, so it's a good little reminder to.
my gosh, Toga, you like, you don't know how many times like, what a privilege my positionstanding there with two people getting married, I met them 15 minutes ago.
What is that?
What is that?
It's unbelievable.
Anyway, to your point, I am standing there and they're my job is to build the context andthe last piece of the context puzzle for them to exchange their process.
(08:45):
And there they are exchanging their promises.
And I'm just looking at him and then I start thinking.
I've got to lift my ga- What a scrub of a husband I am.
What was my wife thinking?
Yes to me.
Look at Barry go.
Barry.
It's such a beautiful thing to be a part of.
(09:06):
I want to talk to you then a little bit about looking after yourself because 170, 180weddings, it's a lot of work.
Like I'll probably have, I think I've like 52 weddings for this year and it's a lot ofcouples to remember, to talk to and all that kind of thing.
And as soon as you get busy, like you are, it's hard to put yourself on the back burner.
(09:27):
Are you doing like things actively just to look after yourself in general so then you canrock up on the day a better person as well?
That's really profound Toga, and that's something I'm not as good at.
I think we all have different tendencies and I know that about myself.
lean to work.
I get up early and the first thing I do is go check my work emails.
(09:49):
So not a brag, I think that might in some ways be a weakness.
But looking after, well, for me through COVID, was again, really my head space was bad.
We didn't have answers to questions.
Bridesgrooms, very right to ask questions.
We all have them anyway.
(10:13):
What are we talking about?
Looking after yourself.
So I joined a local gym.
I'd never been in a gym before in my life.
Well, I had, but only once to make sure I'd never went again for another decade.
So I'm going to the gym like first thing every morning now, socially, mentally,physically.
(10:33):
Yeah.
I always thought the gym was like for a thing.
You're looking after your, your future self.
Yeah.
Like gym today.
And every day, I have to go every single day, I to pay membership every single week sothat I feel 10 % better in 20 years.
But during COVID, it became going to that gym right now gets me through today.
(10:55):
It clears up my headspace, it lets me have little wins, it puts me through a struggle thatI survive, and then I can go and do emails from a position that I've already sort of won
the morning.
And that was really critical for me.
Um, so that has continued.
Um, and yeah, my social life is kind of.
(11:15):
don't know.
It's unique to me in the wedding industry.
That's a tricky when I chat with you, you know, 20 minutes before the wedding and you'refrantically sitting somewhere.
It's hard though, cause like you go to the weddings and that is your social setting.
used to work in a bar early on and my wife would shoot weddings with me and I'd come homefrom the bar and you've seen enough people.
(11:39):
Like you get home and you're like, I don't need to talk anymore.
whereas Kashia has been sitting at home, she might've been doing some uni work orsomething like that.
And she's like, so it's kind of the same with weddings where that is almost becomes yoursocial fix as well.
It's not the same as hanging out with close friends, but it's enough to kind of
get you by and be like, I'm okay with that for now.
100 % and you're in the same lane heading in the same direction.
(12:03):
There's so much contextual stuff to talk about.
And then I can talk about your business and you can talk a bit about mine.
As long as it's appropriate and mum and dad aren't there and it's five minutes before theceremony and we're talking about the wedding yesterday.
But it is, it genuinely feels like friendships to me, the wonderful people we get to workwith.
(12:23):
But it's not the same as the friendships you had before.
You never had a weekend.
Do you have set weeks, months or anything like that where you're just like a solid, Idon't work during this period?
No, but I'm going to.
Yeah, I'm going to, I think I'm going to start using some frequent flyer points and maybetake my wife to Bali just for a week in a February or something every year, just to
(12:52):
deliberately be away.
Exactly.
Just have that ritual of like this week is like, and you know, know, like this is when wego away.
I might even do like a, what do call that thing when you set your emails up?
Auto respond out of office.
I might even say.
No way.
So what does life look like this year for you with 170 weddings?
(13:14):
what does, I can't even imagine like looking after 170 clients.
What would, guess someone's come through and they've inquired with you and they're like,yeah, Jake is our man.
What does that process from booking with you through to their wedding day look like?
So all of our businesses from that perspective, first of all, they're all totallydifferent, different needs and everything.
(13:35):
And like, I wouldn't have a clue how do you do your job, but part of a celebrant's job,generally, we need to do a few more weddings than photographers.
So part of our upskilling and everything is that we have to get efficient with thoseprocesses.
So my process used to start 18 months out, because that's when you can legally startsigning paperwork.
(13:56):
And then...
Like last year, I said, this is madness.
I'll start at 12 months out because they don't need to be doing paperwork and so muchchanged.
And just recently we made it six months out.
So I feel like some of my clients, I feel like the risks there is that I've forgottenabout them or something.
Whereas when I was keeping them busy from 12 months out, there was that trust buildingthat went on.
(14:19):
So I'm hopeful that people can still see or feel that trust, but that's what I'm kind ofmanaging at the moment.
I want my clients to know that I never forget about them.
And there are times in my life, appropriate times in my life where they are kind of allthat matters.
Yeah.
But managing that is just really good with the systems.
Yeah.
Systems in place, systems that you trust, but that you can also check because no system'sperfect.
(14:44):
Usually my systems are a lot more reliable than me though.
But again, I even love that part of my job.
I love the part of having a look, having a look at everyone has got workflows.
of Jew this week and not just ticking the box, but looking at where they're at in theirjourney and if they've been interacting with me and what they're up to.
Clients will never know that that's happened.
(15:06):
Maybe I need to get more visible with that.
But to answer that question, it is a lot more systems based.
And in the same way, I will always try to make my next wedding my best wedding, eventhough there's there's foolishness in that statement.
But generally, how can I do this one better?
Same thing from the back end.
(15:28):
Hang on, I've written this email five times, you know, different people.
So this is a question or a concern.
So I have an opportunity to turn this frequent question into a way to make not just thefive clients that asked me and not even just the 50 clients that might have thought it,
but only 10 % of them actually asked, but every single client from now on for the nexthundred years.
(16:01):
Just build more trust.
Have the appearance of more knowledge.
Not that I had any more knowledge, but just putting it down so they can see it.
Another little question that they might have not even thought to ask.
And so always trying to treat the systems like a wedding in that the more we're tweakingthem and making them more efficient and more helpful for our clients and more fulfilling
(16:25):
for them.
think you forget too, like, you don't really realize how much knowledge you have as well.
And it's like, might be a simple question that you wouldn't even expect anyone to ask you.
But then actually, like you said, like making a system and writing that down and likebefore they've even had to ask that question.
It's such a simple thing for you, but it's be like so helpful to the bride and groom aswell.
(16:45):
So it's, it's cool that you are doing that because there's so many times where you, likeyou said, you will write that email 20 times and you're like, I'll just write it again,
right.
And then there's a one second you're like,
Why don't I just make that a template?
And you're like, yeah, here you go.
Yeah.
Or added as a, as a thing in your journey with the couple that you tell them about it.
And then they get so much information.
(17:08):
I never think they will read this and it solves the problem.
And I'm not going to get the emails.
No, the win is that some of them will pick it up and others when they email you go, great.
In the, in that thing that we talked about, you'll see it.
And then you have a template as well.
And then we were just building trust and everything.
But it's funny you say that talker because what you said about, forget what we know.
That's what.
(17:29):
we all talk about about you with this podcast.
You're able, you're really able to tap into people in the wedding industry and, draw outreally powerful and helpful and interesting conversations until now.
But I appreciate it.
It's really not, definitely not natural to me.
but it's, it's, it's like, just me trying to think of like, what don't I know?
(17:53):
And then asking you that question, because like, I've been doing weddings for 13 years,but there's like, I know nothing about being a wedding celebration.
I know I've been married.
I don't know what we did to get married.
Like, you know what mean?
Like, I don't know, like, what did we need to sign again?
Or I actually, I to this day, if someone asked me like, what do you legally need to do toget married?
I wouldn't be able to tell them.
(18:14):
And so it's just like little things like that.
That would be super helpful to a couple that they just got engaged.
They've never even thought about marriage before, but now like, what do we, what do wehave to do?
You know?
brings up one of the quirkiest conversations that I still don't think I do very well in myjob.
It's when someone's been divorced and that they sort of bring it up and they say, yeah,I've done the paperwork before.
(18:37):
And then you're explaining the paperwork.
Yeah.
How do you do that?
Well, you know, they've forgotten and you don't want to bring up as you know, really lotsof tiptoeing.
Where are most people finding you currently?
I've mean you, when I look towards you from the outside, I feel like you have so many goodconnections with realistically everyone in our area.
(19:06):
Everyone.
Like if I say, yeah, I'm having Jake on the podcast, like the amount of people thatmessaged me back.
I like they just loved it.
And so how like, are you getting most of your inquiries still from like Instagram or Ifeel like you'd must be getting tons from referrals from everyone else.
Yeah.
Yeah, everyone was so pumped.
(19:27):
Yeah, well, that touches me.
I take those little wins, then your recommendations are irreplaceable.
So that will always be it.
I feel, I can feel another long answer brewing.
I apologize in advance, but I feel like you need like five or six back scratches as a, as,a couple getting married to get that trust penny dropping type moment or the whole I'm
(19:53):
sold.
one, type of meaning of that is signing a contract and booking.
But I'm sold might happen before that or after that, you know, and that's where the trustis and the win is.
so yes, incredible amount of referrals.
And I can't be grateful enough for that because it really is the lifeblood of my business.
(20:19):
And my CRM would tell me that about a third come from Google.
About a half from referrals.
Yep.
Like close to 50%.
I think it's 51, 49 around there.
Yep.
But that we, we would be foolish, wouldn't we, to think someone said something and that'sit.
(20:39):
Yeah.
So it's always where else they're looking.
They're doing their research and bridegroom journey, planning a wedding, spending a lot ofmoney, investing emotionally, a huge part of their lives, threshold of their life.
There is a lot of research that goes into planning a wedding.
So
It's getting that and that might put you in a really good position to begin to buildtrust.
(21:03):
then, see, I get probably, I'd say two or three leads a month directly from Instagram outof about 100.
So it's really foundational, the referrals and then Google.
But again, I know that if they Google me,
(21:26):
they might have found and they're looking at lots of celebrants and there's plenty of workto go around and everything but to choose me they'll need to see my social media.
for me it's a bit of fun like sometimes the story reels a bit less personality becausethey stay there.
Stories I feel like I'm putting my personality out there for a while maybe that's good.
(21:50):
Nah, I love those one every time I see you working out.
I'm like, woo hoo, watch out.
yeah, cause that is, that is a bit of unique.
So then if people are following you, they can get to know you enough that they feel likethat back scratch has happened as well.
Real person don't hate him.
These people recommended him look at some other sites and might be recommended a couple ofthings.
(22:16):
Yeah.
Hugely important though.
I'm so grateful.
And so I try to, can I give back?
Like how, how can I
Because a lot of times when people contact me, it's a bit of a dead end.
But so I'm trying to find ways to refer other celebrants as well that I hear good thingsabout.
Because it's about 800 a year that I have to say no to.
(22:38):
Because that's the thing to do to do.
Like to go from doing zero weddings to 50.
50 in a year.
How many in that year?
How many couples have to think I want to book that supplier for you to book 50?
And it's not 50.
It might be 60, 80, because, no, you want to get married on the same Saturday?
(22:59):
That's the wedding problem,
No, a seven.
There we go.
Huge.
exactly.
10th of October, 2020.
Massive.
So to get from, that's hard, that's hard business building to get there, but you don'tneed as much quality inquiry.
(23:21):
Then to get from 50 to 150, I think is, or to 100, like is easier because you've gotmomentum.
You're moving around, you're doing weddings so you can speak with a greater authority.
to get the 151st wedding.
Like you need more than 500 inquiries because you're booked for them all.
(23:47):
Yeah.
And then obviously some people don't want to book you.
So yeah, that's the thing is that the amount of quality inquiry I need to sustain mybusiness, my wife isn't able to work.
Got two daughters.
No one should care about this, but for Trent, which we're talking.
You know, like I need to earn more.
(24:10):
That's kind of my job as I'm also dad and husband.
So no couple needs to factor that in.
No one should or anything, not asking anyone to, but you know, I've got to.
Yeah.
So it's, it's not, it's not 200 inquiries.
I find to get to the 171 80, I need 1 % of inquiries of every wedding that happens inAustralia.
(24:41):
Of every wedding in Australia, 1 % has to inquire with me.
So that's why I try to be friendly.
That's insane.
I haven't really thought about that.
Like the amount of leads, like you said, what one in every 20 you'd be, I mean, sorry,it'd be the other way around like 19 and 20.
You're like, I'm booked for that day.
I'm booked for that Saturday.
And like, it's so disheartening when you get that lead and you're like booked again,booked again.
(25:06):
mean, I'm at like said 52 for this year and I'm definitely getting that now.
Um, we're like, it's just so disappointing and you don't want to do the kind of
the higher, you know, other associate shooters to shoot for you and all that kind ofthing.
But then it's like, but then how else, I can't get a thousand leads every year.
But that's, that's our challenge is how do we make this business?
(25:27):
So we're always trying to balance the pendulum.
I'm getting lots of inquiries that I'm already booked for.
So I kind of have to have written that off.
I'm not disappointed at all anymore, but, I want to get better at, where's that wedding?
How can I just be a little bit helpful?
I did a wedding a couple of weeks ago and they said they...
(25:51):
because I sent such a caring email to their friends who wanted to book me but I wasn'tavailable for.
I'm so I need to, and in my head, I'm like, I don't usually.
But I like, remember a few times, sometimes I just see enough in there and I feel likethis couple need a bit of help.
(26:14):
You know, a lot of the times it's six weeks before the wedding.
And I go, I can't just say no, these couple, it's going to be hard for me to say it in afriendly diplomatic way and sound like I'm not being like.
but I've got a word something here.
They need to know they need a celebrant this week.
They probably don't know that because they're being very, you know, get this beautifulinquiry and it's like, they feel like they're choosing a celebrant, know, and their
(26:44):
marriage is in six weeks.
And it's like, I need to help them understand that inquire with every celebrant you canand whomever is available that you like, that gets back to you the nicest.
Because if you want to get married then it's time.
Yeah, you gotta do it.
That's like when I get couples, you know, cause I guess kind of venue, probably celebrantand photographer kind of come similar times, I would say.
(27:10):
but like if people, ask me and the same thing, like you are one of the three that Irecommend.
And I'm just like, he's just a really nice guy.
You know, like there's, I don't really choose people who like, there might be some supertrendy florist over here or whatever, but it's like, whoever I recommend are just nice
people.
And as soon as you tell the couple that.
I feel like that resonates with them as well.
(27:31):
It's like, just like working with good people and, um, but like, but then like most of thetime, if I say that to a couple, they will inquire with you and you're to a 20, 28, but
you know what I mean?
Like it's, think just because the, personality you have and what you give out to people,and it might deplete you when you do give that out.
Cause I know a lot of people I speak to in the wedding industry.
(27:54):
probably lean more towards the introvert side of things.
then you are at a wedding and you have to be extrovert and you have to be out there.
And I feel like a lot of vendors after the day are just like, it definitely like what yougive off on a wedding day.
And when anyone asks you questions, you are forthcoming with, you know, anything you needto give out.
it's just, people just pick up on that.
(28:14):
I think that's something I enjoy doing, you know, and I know you do too.
When we talk about a wedding, it's, but we are tired later.
You know, it's not tiring, but how am I so tired?
The next morning you're on the gym and you're like, I feel hungover.
Like I didn't, I definitely didn't drink and I'm like, so, like couples then obviouslythey have a timeframe when, when are most couples kind of inquiring with you in general?
(28:44):
know you're getting a lot of leads, but you kind of have an average of when people startgetting in contact with you.
Yeah, they ask me that a lot and I just say now.
And then I soften it a bit because I really do believe this.
It's as soon as you're comfortable.
Because the longer you wait, the less choice you'll have.
It's just simple math.
(29:05):
The longer you wait, so that's fine.
But if you're not comfortable yet, then you're not ready.
And I mean that in a helpful way, you know, like, like, imagine like you get proposed to,my gosh, I'm engaged quick call a celebrant too soon, too soon.
but there's a time when whatever that journey looks like for you and the usual journey,start Googling, look at recommendations you might've got Google, do a bit of whatever your
(29:35):
research looks like for you.
and when, when you feel like you can do that and
that's when you should book because I do see a lot of people that get back to me fourmonths later and not only in my book, but I know so many of my celebrate friends in that
four months will have been booked.
(29:57):
And there's five names I could give and they were all available and now none of them are.
the key for us, like I think you said before, 25th September, like that's what determineshow far ahead you should book.
you've...
So I would just say if you've booked your venue, don't put off booking, I would saycelebrant and photographer because they're the ones that get booked every Saturday and
(30:24):
quite early, but, then everyone, everyone else as well.
Cause I don't, I don't want to say book your celebrant first.
Cause that's not what I mean, but generally every wedding will have a photographercelebrant.
And if you focus on them first and then straight into the others, not rush, but as soon asyou're comfortable.
because you're going to take this much time to do that research and to inquire anyway.
(30:46):
So whether this much time is three months before your wedding or 18 months before yourwedding, it's the same amount of time.
And I feel like you've you've you're in such a better footing if you do that earlier.
I was speaking to a couple the other day and they they're like, look, we're definitelygoing to book with you.
We just will book next week.
And I'm like, look, I'm not trying to be salesy at all.
(31:06):
But like, I will book this day.
And there's there's literally like, if you like, if you need to reduce a deposit amount orsomething like that, that's fine with me.
It's just like, there's is absolutely no point waiting.
Cause like the otherwise like, yeah, like I'm, I'm sorry, but I'm not going to hold thedate.
Like someone else comes in there, like we want to book right now.
I'd be like, cool.
Let's do this.
As long as you know, we're a good couple.
We're going to be a good fit, but like there, sometimes there's, there isn't a point injust holding off.
(31:31):
You just got to sometimes commit.
So it's hard.
That phrase I've said a lot as soon as you're comfortable.
And I'd say get comfortable as soon as you can.
Um, um, but, but maybe a more helpful answer if couples are thinking how far ahead shouldI, that is the answer.
But again, it is so date specific because I'll say no to your 20, 20, 27 wedding on aSaturday in September.
(31:58):
I'm so sorry, but there will be people, know, like there will still be good people.
And there's dates that heaps of other celebrants have booked for that I'm not.
So you never know.
But if you wait, you don't know.
Like I'm available next Monday.
(32:19):
Not that you can legally get married.
It's even, I've had a few couples come through lately as well.
And, I've always said in the past, like, well, maybe just, know like venue for most peopleis the number one thing, but also even going to your celebrant florist, if florist is
your, you you need this florist, this musician I need and going to speak it to like, maybeyour three favorite people would be like, Hey, when are you guys all available?
(32:42):
And then going to the venue and being like, okay, do you have these days still available?
Like a fair few more people are starting to do that as well.
rather than just booking the venue and then hoping that the vendors they wanted are stillavailable to, which is like a good little, you people can try.
So, but yeah, I mean, it's always, I feel like it's shifting so much, like even with youtalking about the, the, all the popular dates, like I've, this will be my busiest year
(33:12):
I've had in the last 13 years.
And it's, it's kind of getting
to the point where you need to know exactly what the peak dates are.
even looking forward to like 2025 and 2026 now I've kind of identified, okay, these arethe 12 sat days that I will 100 % get booked.
Um, and even having like, I've got a sliding scale of pricing now that like, if they'regoing to be on that day, this is the price that's going to be because I will a hundred
(33:35):
percent book it.
And I think that's coming back to knowing you can only do X amount of days and you'vereally got to have like,
if people want, they're gonna pay peak prices at a wedding venue, they should be paying apeak price for us at the same time.
I just think you're really hitting the ground because it is, some couples will understandthat in a heartbeat.
(33:59):
Others may never get it.
And I totally understand that as well.
But how many days can you get work in a year to survive and you can't meet everybody?
If no one's telling you you're too expensive, you're too cheap.
(34:21):
yeah.
I'm not saying go get as much money as you can, but like if people are willing to pay it,that's it.
So like you say, there's a date and you go, that date is going to book.
What do I do with that as a business person who's got to look after my family?
(34:42):
Is there kind of an obligation on me to make my pricing this and then discount otherdates?
Or do I have a premium date thing?
And does that turn people off?
It's a huge thing, though.
But I think everybody in our business has to wrestle with it.
And couples as well, because they know if they're booking a Saturday, it's thiscompetition.
Yeah, for sure.
(35:02):
Yep.
It's going to be a, yeah, a September wedding in Byron Bay.
yeah.
Like on a Saturday.
Good luck.
Be quick, but also maybe, and this is, you I'm wrestling with that as well.
Also, maybe you might need to pay more.
Yeah, exactly.
If okay, so I'll go on to the vendor side of things at the moment.
If there was a new like the obviously there's a plethora of new wedding vendors coming in,probably not so much more.
(35:29):
I feel like maybe two or three years ago, there was a massive leap of like wedding vendorscoming in.
If it's like a celebrant was about to start now, and they hadn't done any weddings before,like what would be the couple of tips that you would give, you know, to yourself starting
over again?
Oh my gosh, you poor thing.
I think doing those first ones is really hard.
(35:51):
I had a mechanism.
I was in a church and that's conducive.
Had the ability to marry, friendship, knowledge.
So if you are starting out, then what ideas could I come up with?
Maybe you could ask other service providers.
(36:14):
If they know of anyone who needs a celebrant, here's a little bit about me.
And if it's a date that people can't do or you know it's hard or it's last minute orsomething, I will do it.
This is what I'm going to charge, but this is what I will charge.
Because if you're going to have a career, if you're going to make, if you're investing andyou want to make a career out of this, it will not happen if you haven't done a wedding.
(36:42):
Yeah.
And then it will not happen if you haven't done 10.
So right now, looking back to me, if I was having trouble doing them, money would not beeven an issue.
The balance of the trade off for the experience, for the income, it's all experience.
The experience is invaluable.
Because as soon as you've said, as soon as you can say, yeah, I've done three weddings,then it's easy to sell as a discounted service.
(37:08):
I seem like a nice guy, you know.
the photographer that recommended it and he wasn't, it was awesome.
Like he was friendly.
Whereas if you're trying to balance making money on those first ones and wondering what todo, my advice there would be ditch the income side of it as much as you're comfortable.
(37:31):
But, I love my job so much.
And if I was speaking to someone who's going to love this job that much, just get awedding under your belt and then get another one.
because you and I can talk about tweaking pricing.
But when you don't have momentum, you can't.
I feel like that'd be harder actually, like as a photographer, you can always go do acouple shoot.
You know, like it's pretty easy to like, Hey, I'm doing free engagement shoots andthere'll be 10 people.
(37:55):
They're like, we'll do it.
You know, so it's a lot E I feel like actually the yeah, barrier to entry would be a loteasier for a photographer.
Whereas a celebrant that's yeah, that's a pretty big deal.
quite unique to our country too.
Like in the States, you get your larrikin, not that they use that term, your mate who'sgot the gift of the gab to just get registered somewhere.
But in Australia, like there's a lot of barriers to entry to becoming a celebrant.
(38:20):
So, I mean, how, with no knowledge of the person and they've never done a wedding, it'sjust such a big stretch to get the booking.
So, and yeah, you're right.
Here's some photos I've taken.
Like, here's a video of me doing a practice ceremony for the attorney general.
(38:42):
Exactly.
Yeah, for sure.
There's nothing there.
you like, I mean, I feel like you kind of get established for me, photography,videography, and up until that point, you've learned, learned, learned, learned.
Now you're like, I'm kind of in a happy place.
And I felt like it was almost like 10 years where I didn't revisit my craft muchwhatsoever.
Do you still, are there any celebrants that you see outside of our area or anything thatyou look up to?
(39:08):
Josh withers.
And then there are lots that I just think, a look at how differently they're doing thingsand everything.
I interact with lots.
Josh though is selfless.
Like he, he, he, he deliberately wants to give back.
Like almost tear to my eye type stuff.
(39:29):
and too expensive himself at a lot of times as well.
Yeah, he's, he's given me tips that like, I see him gives the tips to everybody.
And I'm like, how come I'm not doing it?
Like totally changed the way I do business.
So very, very generous and look up to him.
But when people ask me about celebrants in detail, I say a lot of what I actually know ofthem in the job, doing the job is because photographers tell me.
(40:01):
If you I have some names because I know of them enough by reputation, some I recommendthat I haven't even ever spoken to, but I know I know Toga and a few other photographers
have said venue recommends and then I look at their socials.
Yeah, I'm safe to tell someone to go to them.
What was the question?
(40:22):
Sorry, mate.
just like, looking up to other vendors, like other celebrants, or is there any, likeinspiration you get from, like, I would say you're at the top of your game.
Is there many other people that you look to outside of that?
Yeah, so I think everyone will do something better than me.
(40:42):
I think that's a really good, respectful place to start.
Someone who's done, a person that we were just talking about, a hypothetical person who'sabout to do their first wedding, I reckon I could find something they did better than me.
I reckon I could, it would be hard for them to coach me, I hope, you know?
And I'd be able to, I'd probably have a long list of things, but.
(41:05):
In that moment, I could tell he cared about the groom.
Magic, magic.
You know, there's always something we can be learning.
And I think everyone who tries to go out there and swing a camera or a microphone or abunch of flowers, like, is immediately worthy of so much credit just because it is such a
(41:27):
special day.
And we've crossed that threshold of going, I'm going to have a go at helping this couplewith this most special day and take that risk.
so I would, I, I get things from people all the time that even aren't celebrants the way,you know, talking about their, their systems, but also, look at that lovely chat they're
having with mum.
(41:48):
I noticed that the groom noticed that florist is probably going to get a review.
huh, for sure.
You don't even think that like we're just walking around like the people you speak to,it's very much like couple focused on the day.
But then like you said, yeah, you do have a chat to dad or auntie or something like that.
And you don't realize how much it affects them as well.
That's the thing I've really learned in the last 12 months or so is that people will speakwell of their day.
(42:17):
If you go buy a new car, there's 90 % chance you're to tell people, love my car.
Yeah, so when I hear great ceremony, I love it.
But but I also know that's that's where the day leans.
(42:38):
But two weeks later, in the middle of lunch, an uncle doesn't have to say to a nephew,your celeb room is amazing.
And if I think how I can get that, then it's the reason the uncle says that that'll get mespoken about in a way that if I wasn't doing that thing, I might not get the Google
(43:06):
review.
or I might not get you being kind enough to recommend me.
And I never know what that is.
Yeah.
And I have found it's more the...
Often it's the people around the couple.
And a frequent one I'm hearing now that might fall into the category of helping newcelebrants is almost a tear to people's eye when they come up afterwards.
(43:31):
I could see how much you cared about Sally.
You know, and usually I'm finding what's the trigger for that is just to drop the mic abit.
When we're a few minutes in, you know, because the walk down the aisles happen now.
But we always talk about how weddings go so quickly.
And we forget everything.
(43:51):
And what better way to just slow it down a bit than.
You know, you're right.
But the amount of feedback I get from little things like that and that will make that willnot make, but it motivates.
Mum, Dad, Uncle to talk favourably back to my couple and mate, if they're talking there,what happens when they hear about a wedding?
(44:13):
It's just so genuine and people pick up on that, especially, you know, there, there can bethe celebrants that it is the celebrant show.
And maybe it's different because we see so many celebrants, but where it's, you can tellit's a show.
It's no, it's no different to me when I do the, the big group photo.
I know my spiel and it feels fake.
(44:35):
People still love it, but you can still kind of get this thing.
is spectacular.
But, but like when you actually do take that time to slow down and like you guys good,like people like, he actually gives it like, actually cares.
which is insane.
And all that happens is you translate that care, because you do care.
(44:57):
But that doesn't mean you like I was caring before I started just being mindful to hangon.
I feel like things are going to be quickly and I'm I'm at lots of weddings.
So if I notice things are going quickly, there's a bit of an obligation to me because it'sdefinitely going quickly for my clients.
So I'm just going to.
(45:19):
I'm just going to check in with them.
bit of a game changer, you know, on the mic off the mic.
Everything used to be on the mic, even if it was checking, even if it was, but dropping itjust so much more care.
But it's, it's looking for things that, that achieve that.
(45:40):
Wow.
10 minutes after a wedding, someone will come up and say, that was an amazing ceremony.
And I would never say this, but if I said what, why, what did I say?
No one has an answer.
So what made it great then?
It's not the words that I agonize over, you know, it's not, it's, it's because they don'tremember any of them or if they do, they'll be lucky to remember a phrase or something,
(46:06):
but it's always going to be the, the, that made them feel.
And for me, that's a journey of safety.
People need to feel safe for certain.
There's, there's trepidation coming to a wedding, certainly for the bride and groom.
We all, it all.
manifest differently, but there's always some kind of fear or anxiety or overwhelmingnessor they're flooded.
(46:28):
But even when people walk up to a where do we sit?
What a horrible way.
What a environment in which to celebrate a relationship.
We're in this thing of, don't want to do it wrong.
I don't want to do it wrong.
No, no one's fault.
Hey, you know, you know, I'm not saying, but that's how we arrive at a wedding because wedon't want to.
I don't want to, I don't want to sit in the wrong spot.
(46:51):
friend or should be in that aisle.
for that one guy.
But so for me, trying to just help people feel safe.
Trying to help people know what the bride and groom want the data to feel like.
And I do that really deliberately because I want the guests to go, there's a bit of, I cando that.
(47:12):
I can have a nice day.
If they want phones on silent, maybe why?
Because then, because if we're talking about the reason, we're getting a bit real and allof a sudden, though it is routine for me, it hopefully helps connect people so they can
feel a bit of that wedding angst dissipate.
(47:35):
So when our bride walks in, we're just a bit more comfortable.
It's a real skill to be able to build up that rapport and that comfortability with acouple in that amount of time.
I know you know each other prior to the wedding, know, checking in and doing everythingyou're doing, but to build up that so quickly is such a big skill to have.
(47:56):
feel like if, imagine like every aspect of your life, you're able to do that with peopleyou just came across how full your life would be.
Yeah, I'd have some friends.
You still have too much work.
You still wouldn't, mate.
For me, it's like I liken it to a rocket ship and a bus.
And for me, it's the couple, yes, but the couple for me now, because they're close to me,physically, I feel like I'm picking them up anyway, and I wanna check in with them.
(48:29):
But for me, the next level that really affects the day is the management and leadership ofthe atmosphere.
And of that...
There is so much going on and so many wonderful service providers that have implementedinstallations and lighting's been set up for video and everything like, and the venue
like, my gosh, so much has gone into it.
(48:51):
But, but it's my job because the guests play such a role in that atmosphere.
And it's my job and our job as celebrants to work with that.
And that's what I'm really enjoying working on at the moment.
So I get this picture of the bus and the rocket.
And I go like, when I'm preparing, I'm always trying to take people on a journey.
(49:17):
I never want it to be informational as much as it is about resonating.
I'm not informing people.
Those people, I assume, know the couple better than me.
And if they're not, I take that into account too.
Like if someone's cousin just got married and they've never met the wife or something likethat, that's okay, they're adults.
(49:37):
Yeah.
If I just say the name of the pub and move on with the story, they must admit there, wejust don't need, think, to treat people like they don't know the couple.
They know them.
They know them better than me.
So I'm resonating.
I'm throwing out breadcrumbs.
not.
But and then I want to talk about really meaningful things as well, because hopefullythere's been some levity, not punchlining, but personal, because that levity works so much
(50:03):
better because it's unique to the couple.
So people appreciate it more because it doesn't feel like a spill.
Cause it's about them.
And then when we get meaningful, it hits with so much more gravitas because we've loosenedup a little bit.
we're, we're getting like that word I use before context.
I'm all about when they get to exchange their vows.
I've, I've, I've been blessed to create an amazing context for that moment.
(50:27):
So the rocket ship and the bus, when I'm walking in and I see like 60 % of the crowd arelike this, you know, yeah.
best man walks past someone goes, yeah, good on you.
my gosh, it's a big day.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And, like 30 % of the crowd goes with them.
when the mother of the bride walks down and we're getting close and if everyone's sort oflooks and all this, you know, this, this is nice.
(50:51):
And a few people have maybe, good on you.
That's a rocket ship.
They're going to be, more natural and perhaps effortless to lead to the destination of agreat context.
another wedding I'll walk into and you'll see it too and everyone's facing.
(51:15):
And people are looking at the corners, you know, and a grimsman walks in and no one evenreally acknowledges or looks or says anything.
There is nothing wrong.
There's no judgment as which is better.
I would submit that the latter is a bit harder to lead, but that's my job.
And so the first kind of vibe, I put them in a rocket ship and I'll speak as such.
(51:40):
I know that when I go like this...
They're gonna kind of come with me and I'll be able to pause at the end of it and they'llgo, yeah, was thinking what he said was good.
Always again, I've always avoiding punchline because if you hit a punchline, it doesn'twork.
You've let all the you've let it all go.
But
(52:01):
the bus atmosphere, there's a real beauty in leading that as well.
And there's a bit more maybe reluctance or a bit more carefulness, but if I'm speaking alittle bit more like this and I can deliver and in my prep I'm thinking I might deliver
like this or it might be if it's feeling a bit more sedated, a bit more like this.
Because if you try to put those people in a rocket ship, you're not getting anywhere orthere's going be a lot of complaints.
(52:26):
If you put the rocket ship people in a bus, it's…
You're a bi-
Yeah.
You're not going to be the farm like this over and they all talk about.
Yeah.
But if it comes across just that bit more today, but we get more people on board.
And once you get more people on board and the kindling's lit a little bit and the bus isin motion, we can still have a really good time.
(52:48):
But I want to be able to deliver in a spectrum so that the guests that the couple loveresonate and respond with what's being said so that the maximum amount of
people are engaged throughout the whole interaction so that again, when it comes time forBarry and Sally to exchange their wedding vows, the context has been set so well, it feels
(53:14):
so special for them and it feels so special for the guests to be a part of as well.
Can I ask, have you had formal training in delivery communication, like speaking?
Back when I was a pastor, had to, yeah, it was a pretty big church.
so yeah, I, like, I remember getting asked to speak to like 50 people in a subgroup of asubgroup of the massive church.
(53:39):
And I remember, I was terrified of public speaking, biggest fear in the world.
Like kneeling on the toilet floor, not a clean toilet floor.
Just for context.
A guy has a toilet floor not clean.
Yeah, yeah.
Leaning on, you know, the seat, like not leaning on.
(54:02):
salivating with dry reaching from fear.
Just speak to 50 people.
Yeah.
That's like, just because the way you speak, I can understand why people want to comealong on your journey.
Like you so, you are so accentuated and you kind of build up.
it's at all, I feel like I'm through to your tempo and it's, if it's natural, it's amazingbecause like, feel you're like your tempo and you got to build up and build up and build
(54:29):
up.
now we're going to take it down.
And that's when people like, like, and like waiting to hear what you say.
And it's like me sitting here listening to you right now.
I'm like, I am in your journey.
You know what I mean?
Like, which is like, that's exactly what you want.
But I feel like people would pay lots of money to learn what you are doing.
(54:49):
Hopefully I listen to your podcast.
That'd be big win for me.
It's great.
It's great.
Yeah.
I just, I just really love it.
and I see the value in, you you look out and there's eye contact.
Put a value on that.
Like, like I'm learning, you know, to put a, how can I maximize that?
How, and that's where I got, get the rocket ship in the bus.
(55:12):
And I thought of that on the drive up, but it's kind of what I'm trying to do.
I'm learning how to be better.
at being flexible in the delivery to make sure that I've got, we got 60 % of the peoplebefore we can move.
And then how fast can we move?
they got on straight away.
I can do all the tricks today.
(55:33):
We can really, know, we might even be able to make fun of the best man or something, butI've got to be really confident with that.
Or this is going to be slow, but I'm going to get them there.
I'm going to build a little bonfire here.
And by the time the clients that have trusted me to create a beautiful day for them, to bea part of the team that creates a beautiful day for them, by the time they exchange their
(55:58):
vows, this will feel different.
So cool, man.
I love it.
Man, this is a good job.
Like chatting to you right now.
It's like, there's so many takeaways.
Me just listening to you.
yeah, this is awesome.
I want to ask one last thing before it's been an hour already.
Crazy.
(56:18):
with the amount of weddings you're getting and like the higher end one, does that meanthat you do have to, I know you've been on a lot of flights recently.
Are you traveling a lot more now than previously?
And was that kind of a, is that something you wanted to do?
I definitely enjoy travel.
Yep.
That was the least I've enjoyed it.
(56:39):
Okay.
Cause it was too frantic, but again, it was the, the, it was busy and then throw aThailand in there in the middle of like, but, for me, again, there is, there's a, a burden
in a good way that I need to be busy and that creates a slant towards.
(57:06):
I, I'm, I want to be passionate about my job and I enjoy it, but I, I, I need morebookings.
So what has happened with the travel is when Brisbane and the Southeast Queensland arequieter, I'm more available.
And that's really all it is.
I, I look at my diary, I don't do it deliberately.
(57:27):
I look at my diary and I go, my gosh, I am traveling a lot in February and,
When I look back, it's kind of a consistent amount of inquiry from Sydney, a consistentamount of inquiry from Melbourne, inquiries from everywhere else, lesser.
Nearly, I can't think of an international wedding I've done that I was available on thedate to do it.
(57:47):
But often there've been a lot of many type things and they're able to move.
So it's being flexible when a wedding that is in a destination that I would like to do, ifI can't do it, I...
just try to be as helpful as I can because I know that those ones sometimes turn into theycome back and they change.
(58:10):
I want to make sure I don't come across like if you change your date or I'll think aboutit.
It's because it's not like that at all.
But I get I get excited for them and I turn that excitement into if there's anything Icould do to suggest.
But yeah, the travel basically comes when it gets quieter in southeast Queensland.
I'm just more available for the Sydney inquiries.
(58:30):
I turn away.
turn away a lot of Sydney and Melbourne because just the travel and all the peak dates.
If I've got a wedding day before, day after, and it's a drive from Brisbane, sometimesit's just like, I've got Brisbane inquiries as well.
(58:51):
Exactly.
All right, Jake.
Thank you so much.
Where can people find you?
Social media and website and all that kind of thing.
married by Jake everywhere.
Love it, mate.
Awesome.
Thank you so much for taking the time.
I know you're a busy man, but I really appreciate it and I know all listeners are reallygoing to appreciate this one.
thank you so much.
(59:13):
Thank you.
Thanks, buddy.
Thanks for tuning in to the Wedco podcast.
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On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
Ridiculous History
History is beautiful, brutal and, often, ridiculous. Join Ben Bowlin and Noel Brown as they dive into some of the weirdest stories from across the span of human civilization in Ridiculous History, a podcast by iHeartRadio.