April 2, 2025 • 11 mins
In this podcast episode, host Alora kicks off the mindset series by exploring the concept of 'getting over yourself' as requested by listeners. She shares personal insights inspired by her spring break experiences, explaining the psychological meaning of moving past excessive self-focus and perceived importance.
00:00 Introduction to the Mindset Series
00:57 Understanding the Concept of 'Getting Over Yourself'
02:20 The Importance of Self-Autonomy
03:27 Applying the Mindset Shift in Daily Life
06:24 Overcoming Fear and Taking Action
08:37 Learning from Mistakes and Avoiding Burnout
10:44 Final Thoughts and Encouragement
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Welcome or welcome back to thepodcast.
(00:01):
In this episode, we are going tokick off the mindset series with
what you guys requested, and itwas how to finally get over
yourself.
And this idea actually came tome as I am in Spring break.
My kids are in spring break andI was dropping them off at my
mom's house and a thought cameto me about how powerful it is
(00:22):
to finally get over yourself,get out of your own way, getting
over this like self-importanceattitude and mindset and then
just taking messy, dirty action.
So what does something like thatlook like?
In a psychological sense, whichis my degree and something I
have studied even in highschool, because in my high
(00:44):
school we got to study careerbased classes.
That's actually how my husbandbecame an engineer because he
took engineer classes in highschool we had an aviation
program.
I was in the web design andpsychology program.
So yeah, love that.
Okay.
In a psychological sense, theterm get over yourself actually
means to move past yourexcessive self-focus, self-pity
(01:06):
or perceived sense ofimportance, and to gain
perspective and move forward.
And that's pretty much what I'mgonna talk about.
And I don't have really anynotes.
I did voice message myself this.
Because I didn't wanna forgetit.
'cause my best ideas, I don'tknow about you, but they always
come to me when I'm driving.
I don't know why, like themoment I get in the car and I
start driving ideas flood, but Inever have a good microphone on
(01:29):
me.
So maybe actually guys, do Ineed to buy one of those fancy,
fuzzy microphones?
But would I get pulled over?
Can you get a ticket forrecording while driving with one
hand?
I don't know.
Sounds dangerous to me.
Anyway, this is what I said.
Half the time, no one is reallythinking about you.
I know honestly, it can soundlike a good thing and a bad
(01:50):
thing, depending on the way ofwhat you're going on in your
life right now.
It can feel good, but it canalso not feel good because maybe
you're trying to find meaning inyour life and realize that you
know you are important andspecial to someone.
Maybe having a self-focus givesus this sense of importance.
Oh somebody's thinking about mesomewhere, right?
(02:11):
So I need to make sure that Ilook a certain way, act a
certain way.
But it is very humbling to belike, actually, nobody really
cares.
Nobody really cares what youroutfit looks like.
Do you care?
This goes even to childpsychology Psychologists say
that you are not supposed toalways tell your kid, great job.
Good job.
You ask them how they feel aboutit because it gives them
(02:32):
autonomy over their owndecisions, and they will not be
reliant on others for their ownperceived success.
I know.
And so I have been doing that.
I didn't learn this with mydaughter, but I learned it with
my son, and so every time.
That he tells me something, andit could be, I don't know I
can't even think of an example,but he's excited about
something.
(02:53):
I'll be like, that's amazing.
How does that make you feel?
Or are you proud of yourself?
And he'll always say, yes, I'mproud of myself.
And so that alone is teachinghim to just be proud of himself
and not always seek validation.
Now they are just children, butI think the little building
blocks that you instill in yourchildren at a young age will
(03:13):
become the tools that they useas adults.
And so I don't want my kids to.
Always be reliant on a coach orme as a parent or their friends
telling them they're good atsomething.
For them to feel like they'regood at it.
They should already innatelyknow or be satisfied within
themselves and anything theychoose to do.
And that will definitely applyif they decide to choose the
route of entrepreneurship.
(03:34):
And so that alone can be a hugeshift in your mind being like,
if nobody really cares, is theresomething that you would do
differently?
If it's true that nobody careshow you dress, how would you
really dress?
And I'm just saying thisbecause, I'm obviously having to
choose outfits for this brandsession.
(03:55):
Feel free to fill in the blanks.
If nobody really cared about theway you run your business, how
would you run it?
Instead of asking people whatyou should do, what do you
really think you should do?
And a lot of times we becomeaddicted to getting feedback, to
getting validation, to gettingour questions answered, that
we're actually not asking themost important question.
(04:17):
It's what do you think aboutthat?
Do you really think, forexample, a lot of photographers
want to stay artists and don'twant to eventually become an
educator, which is fine becausethey know that I'm actually
gonna do weddings and do otherphotography avenues.
(04:37):
And I know regardless of whatanybody else tells me on some
podcast or YouTube channel, I'mjust gonna stay an artist.
And I think it's because theyhave this perceived sense of
self and they have thisperspective to move forward.
It's very clear what it is theywant to do, and they're gonna be
confident in their decision andthey don't have to seek other
(05:00):
people to make that decision.
And so in what ways can you getover yourself today?
For example, like the examples Igave you, like how would you
dress?
How would you run your business?
How would you parent?
How would you X, Y, Z if youknew that nobody cared.
That nobody's watching because.
(05:20):
We all really just care aboutourselves.
Ultimately, people are thinkingabout themselves and necessarily
which is so funny'cause we'relike, oh my gosh, like I need to
be seen this certain way.
I need to do this certain thing.
I need to do that.
And it's but then you have tocheck yourself and be like why?
Is it because I feel like I haveto do that?
Or is it'cause I feel likesomebody else is watching me and
(05:43):
they think that I need to dothis thing or I need to succeed.
So this certain person gives metheir stamp of approval.
It really always comes down toand whose hands are you putting
the power of your life and maybeeven your business into.
Are you removing it from yourhands and giving it to someone
else who probably doesn't holdyou to the highest caliber, but
(06:05):
maybe you think they do?
And ultimately having this senseof self and realizing that you
are just important and specialas you are but for most people
who think that everybody isalways watching them, always has
an opinion and is scrutinizingevery move, everything they do
or say, it can be relieving toknow that nobody really is
(06:28):
thinking about you like that.
Because everybody's thinkingabout themselves, but thinking
that everybody is thinking aboutthem is the self-focused part,
right?
So when I shifted the mindset ofnobody really cares, it's not
that serious.
Get over yourself.
That's when I finally took theaction.
That's when I finally decided tojump off, not knowing if Annette
(06:49):
would appear.
Not knowing what was gonnahappen, right?
Not knowing if I was gonnaactually spread wings and fly,
or if my parachute was gonnabreak.
Sorry me visualizing this is notgood.
But then again, when you takeoff all of that excessive
thought process that is drainingyou and keeping you on this,
wheel of self pity thingsactually do work out.
(07:14):
And the thing about it is thatfear presents itself in so many
different ways.
I like to call it drama becauseI think fear actually stems from
drama.
We make something so big whenit's really not, and half the
time if we're explaining andcomplaining and being like I
can't do this and I can't dothat, then people will agree
with us being like, yeah, don'tdo that.
If you're gonna blow yourbusiness up or if everything's
(07:35):
gonna crumble and fall, thenyeah, don't.
And I feel like when you makethings dramatic, they become
dramatic.
But if you decide to finally getover yourself and do something
scary, do it shaky.
Do it with fake bravery.
They always say fake it till youmake it, but really you're just
pushing through the fear becauseyou don't really know what's
gonna happen.
And that also is what impostersyndrome is claiming something
(07:57):
to be real when you have no ideait's gonna be real yet, right?
It's okay to play the part, keepit moving, take that first step
that's gonna turn into multiplesteps and it's actually gonna be
the roadmap to building theperfect business.
So how to get over yourself,really trim your ego.
You're not that important.
(08:18):
You know that saying, I'm just agirl really at the end of the
day, okay, I'm just a girl.
And then also have compassionfor yourself.
Be nice.
Some of the things that we sayto ourselves, we would never
tell our friends, our family,our kids.
So why are you telling yourselfthat?
You're giving yourself your ownmental abuse, which is terrible,
(08:41):
right?
Don't be so critical.
Make a mistake, learn thelesson, get up, move on.
That's life.
Life is messy.
Parenthood is messy.
Marriage is messy, all of it.
Everything about life is messy.
So get out there, make a mess,learn the lesson, and keep
pushing forward.
I think there are two ways thatyou cannot be successful in life
(09:06):
or business is if you never takeany action, so you'll never know
you'll be in the same place 10years from now.
Complaining, feeling sorry foryourself because you never did
anything.
You know what?
The number one thing.
That people talk about whenthey're at the end of their
stage of life is their regret,right?
For not taking enough risk,maybe for working too much, and
(09:28):
a lot of the time it's not doingenough.
So while you're young, flirtyand thriving, why don't you get
out there, go make somemistakes, go learn your lessons,
figure it out, report back laterwhat you learned and now you
know for the next time what notto do.
The second thing.
It is doing too much and neverlearning the lesson.
(09:51):
I think that's called whatHardheaded, but don't be the
person who does everything andthen never stops to be like,
wait a minute, do we like wherethis ship is going?
And are we okay at the rate andthe speed?
It's going a lot of times, whichif you're in the cycle of
burnout, you find yourself inautopilot where you're just
(10:11):
booking booking, and.
You're not raising your pricesand you're not learning your
lesson, and you're doing allthese things and you feel like
you're just a hot mess, which isgonna be one of the next lessons
we talk about, but nobody wantsthe hot mess express person.
Okay?
Take some time for yourself inorder to move forward.
In order to actually learn thelesson, you do need to pause.
(10:34):
And that's a whole nother thingin itself because people who are
in the cycle of burnout feelguilty for relaxing.
Feel guilty for taking a break.
Feel guilty for going on avacation.
Ask me how.
I know.
Literally, I was in the cycle ofburnout for two years too long
but.
I learned my lesson and thepandemic forced me to learn my
(10:56):
lesson, and I haven't lookedback since.
My boundaries are so tight.
If you texted me right now, allaurora's on DND, all aurora's on
DND 24 7 and just be mad at me.
Now do I check my dms more thanmy text messages?
Of course it's toxic.
I dunno.
Make it make sense.
But how to get over yourself isto stop thinking are so
(11:18):
important.
To give yourself grace.
Don't forget to take some actionand get out there, learn your
lesson, get messy, okay?
And then DM me and tell me ifyou did any of that, or if you
listen to this lesson and itchanged your life.
Either way, if you have ajournal, I think now is the
perfect time to journal out howyou're feeling and how you're
(11:42):
gonna get to the other side.
All right, I'll see you in thenext episode.
Bye.
Welcome or welcome back to thepodcast.
(00:01):
In this episode, we are going tokick off the mindset series with
what you guys requested, and itwas how to finally get over
yourself.
And this idea actually came tome as I am in Spring break.
My kids are in spring break andI was dropping them off at my
mom's house and a thought cameto me about how powerful it is
(00:22):
to finally get over yourself,get out of your own way, getting
over this like self-importanceattitude and mindset and then
just taking messy, dirty action.
So what does something like thatlook like?
In a psychological sense, whichis my degree and something I
have studied even in highschool, because in my high
(00:44):
school we got to study careerbased classes.
That's actually how my husbandbecame an engineer because he
took engineer classes in highschool we had an aviation
program.
I was in the web design andpsychology program.
So yeah, love that.
Okay.
In a psychological sense, theterm get over yourself actually
means to move past yourexcessive self-focus, self-pity
(01:06):
or perceived sense ofimportance, and to gain
perspective and move forward.
And that's pretty much what I'mgonna talk about.
And I don't have really anynotes.
I did voice message myself this.
Because I didn't wanna forgetit.
'cause my best ideas, I don'tknow about you, but they always
come to me when I'm driving.
I don't know why, like themoment I get in the car and I
start driving ideas flood, but Inever have a good microphone on
(01:29):
me.
So maybe actually guys, do Ineed to buy one of those fancy,
fuzzy microphones?
But would I get pulled over?
Can you get a ticket forrecording while driving with one
hand?
I don't know.
Sounds dangerous to me.
Anyway, this is what I said.
Half the time, no one is reallythinking about you.
I know honestly, it can soundlike a good thing and a bad
(01:50):
thing, depending on the way ofwhat you're going on in your
life right now.
It can feel good, but it canalso not feel good because maybe
you're trying to find meaning inyour life and realize that you
know you are important andspecial to someone.
Maybe having a self-focus givesus this sense of importance.
Oh somebody's thinking about mesomewhere, right?
(02:11):
So I need to make sure that Ilook a certain way, act a
certain way.
But it is very humbling to belike, actually, nobody really
cares.
Nobody really cares what youroutfit looks like.
Do you care?
This goes even to childpsychology Psychologists say
that you are not supposed toalways tell your kid, great job.
Good job.
You ask them how they feel aboutit because it gives them
(02:32):
autonomy over their owndecisions, and they will not be
reliant on others for their ownperceived success.
I know.
And so I have been doing that.
I didn't learn this with mydaughter, but I learned it with
my son, and so every time.
That he tells me something, andit could be, I don't know I
can't even think of an example,but he's excited about
something.
(02:53):
I'll be like, that's amazing.
How does that make you feel?
Or are you proud of yourself?
And he'll always say, yes, I'mproud of myself.
And so that alone is teachinghim to just be proud of himself
and not always seek validation.
Now they are just children, butI think the little building
blocks that you instill in yourchildren at a young age will
(03:13):
become the tools that they useas adults.
And so I don't want my kids to.
Always be reliant on a coach orme as a parent or their friends
telling them they're good atsomething.
For them to feel like they'regood at it.
They should already innatelyknow or be satisfied within
themselves and anything theychoose to do.
And that will definitely applyif they decide to choose the
route of entrepreneurship.
(03:34):
And so that alone can be a hugeshift in your mind being like,
if nobody really cares, is theresomething that you would do
differently?
If it's true that nobody careshow you dress, how would you
really dress?
And I'm just saying thisbecause, I'm obviously having to
choose outfits for this brandsession.
(03:55):
Feel free to fill in the blanks.
If nobody really cared about theway you run your business, how
would you run it?
Instead of asking people whatyou should do, what do you
really think you should do?
And a lot of times we becomeaddicted to getting feedback, to
getting validation, to gettingour questions answered, that
we're actually not asking themost important question.
(04:17):
It's what do you think aboutthat?
Do you really think, forexample, a lot of photographers
want to stay artists and don'twant to eventually become an
educator, which is fine becausethey know that I'm actually
gonna do weddings and do otherphotography avenues.
(04:37):
And I know regardless of whatanybody else tells me on some
podcast or YouTube channel, I'mjust gonna stay an artist.
And I think it's because theyhave this perceived sense of
self and they have thisperspective to move forward.
It's very clear what it is theywant to do, and they're gonna be
confident in their decision andthey don't have to seek other
(05:00):
people to make that decision.
And so in what ways can you getover yourself today?
For example, like the examples Igave you, like how would you
dress?
How would you run your business?
How would you parent?
How would you X, Y, Z if youknew that nobody cared.
That nobody's watching because.
(05:20):
We all really just care aboutourselves.
Ultimately, people are thinkingabout themselves and necessarily
which is so funny'cause we'relike, oh my gosh, like I need to
be seen this certain way.
I need to do this certain thing.
I need to do that.
And it's but then you have tocheck yourself and be like why?
Is it because I feel like I haveto do that?
Or is it'cause I feel likesomebody else is watching me and
(05:43):
they think that I need to dothis thing or I need to succeed.
So this certain person gives metheir stamp of approval.
It really always comes down toand whose hands are you putting
the power of your life and maybeeven your business into.
Are you removing it from yourhands and giving it to someone
else who probably doesn't holdyou to the highest caliber, but
(06:05):
maybe you think they do?
And ultimately having this senseof self and realizing that you
are just important and specialas you are but for most people
who think that everybody isalways watching them, always has
an opinion and is scrutinizingevery move, everything they do
or say, it can be relieving toknow that nobody really is
(06:28):
thinking about you like that.
Because everybody's thinkingabout themselves, but thinking
that everybody is thinking aboutthem is the self-focused part,
right?
So when I shifted the mindset ofnobody really cares, it's not
that serious.
Get over yourself.
That's when I finally took theaction.
That's when I finally decided tojump off, not knowing if Annette
(06:49):
would appear.
Not knowing what was gonnahappen, right?
Not knowing if I was gonnaactually spread wings and fly,
or if my parachute was gonnabreak.
Sorry me visualizing this is notgood.
But then again, when you takeoff all of that excessive
thought process that is drainingyou and keeping you on this,
wheel of self pity thingsactually do work out.
(07:14):
And the thing about it is thatfear presents itself in so many
different ways.
I like to call it drama becauseI think fear actually stems from
drama.
We make something so big whenit's really not, and half the
time if we're explaining andcomplaining and being like I
can't do this and I can't dothat, then people will agree
with us being like, yeah, don'tdo that.
If you're gonna blow yourbusiness up or if everything's
(07:35):
gonna crumble and fall, thenyeah, don't.
And I feel like when you makethings dramatic, they become
dramatic.
But if you decide to finally getover yourself and do something
scary, do it shaky.
Do it with fake bravery.
They always say fake it till youmake it, but really you're just
pushing through the fear becauseyou don't really know what's
gonna happen.
And that also is what impostersyndrome is claiming something
(07:57):
to be real when you have no ideait's gonna be real yet, right?
It's okay to play the part, keepit moving, take that first step
that's gonna turn into multiplesteps and it's actually gonna be
the roadmap to building theperfect business.
So how to get over yourself,really trim your ego.
You're not that important.
(08:18):
You know that saying, I'm just agirl really at the end of the
day, okay, I'm just a girl.
And then also have compassionfor yourself.
Be nice.
Some of the things that we sayto ourselves, we would never
tell our friends, our family,our kids.
So why are you telling yourselfthat?
You're giving yourself your ownmental abuse, which is terrible,
(08:41):
right?
Don't be so critical.
Make a mistake, learn thelesson, get up, move on.
That's life.
Life is messy.
Parenthood is messy.
Marriage is messy, all of it.
Everything about life is messy.
So get out there, make a mess,learn the lesson, and keep
pushing forward.
I think there are two ways thatyou cannot be successful in life
(09:06):
or business is if you never takeany action, so you'll never know
you'll be in the same place 10years from now.
Complaining, feeling sorry foryourself because you never did
anything.
You know what?
The number one thing.
That people talk about whenthey're at the end of their
stage of life is their regret,right?
For not taking enough risk,maybe for working too much, and
(09:28):
a lot of the time it's not doingenough.
So while you're young, flirtyand thriving, why don't you get
out there, go make somemistakes, go learn your lessons,
figure it out, report back laterwhat you learned and now you
know for the next time what notto do.
The second thing.
It is doing too much and neverlearning the lesson.
(09:51):
I think that's called whatHardheaded, but don't be the
person who does everything andthen never stops to be like,
wait a minute, do we like wherethis ship is going?
And are we okay at the rate andthe speed?
It's going a lot of times, whichif you're in the cycle of
burnout, you find yourself inautopilot where you're just
(10:11):
booking booking, and.
You're not raising your pricesand you're not learning your
lesson, and you're doing allthese things and you feel like
you're just a hot mess, which isgonna be one of the next lessons
we talk about, but nobody wantsthe hot mess express person.
Okay?
Take some time for yourself inorder to move forward.
In order to actually learn thelesson, you do need to pause.
(10:34):
And that's a whole nother thingin itself because people who are
in the cycle of burnout feelguilty for relaxing.
Feel guilty for taking a break.
Feel guilty for going on avacation.
Ask me how.
I know.
Literally, I was in the cycle ofburnout for two years too long
but.
I learned my lesson and thepandemic forced me to learn my
(10:56):
lesson, and I haven't lookedback since.
My boundaries are so tight.
If you texted me right now, allaurora's on DND, all aurora's on
DND 24 7 and just be mad at me.
Now do I check my dms more thanmy text messages?
Of course it's toxic.
I dunno.
Make it make sense.
But how to get over yourself isto stop thinking are so
(11:18):
important.
To give yourself grace.
Don't forget to take some actionand get out there, learn your
lesson, get messy, okay?
And then DM me and tell me ifyou did any of that, or if you
listen to this lesson and itchanged your life.
Either way, if you have ajournal, I think now is the
perfect time to journal out howyou're feeling and how you're
(11:42):
gonna get to the other side.
All right, I'll see you in thenext episode.
Bye.
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