Ever wondered how to weave the threads of your true self into the fabric of your business? Join us as we sit down with Chrissy Mellinger, a guiding light for service-based entrepreneurs, and unpack the essence of authenticity in the bustling world of wedding planning. In a world where connections are currency, we delve into the art of forming genuine bonds with clients and the power of standing in your own truth, whether you're crafting a marketing strategy or facing a challenging client situation.
As a business coach, Chrissy brings a refreshing take on networking that transcends the digital landscape, emphasizing the value of in-person encounters. Let's be honest, it's easy to lose yourself in the sea of trends, but here, we share stories of how staying true to one's brand can forge lasting relationships and ward off burnout. We also tackle the tough stuff: recognizing when you're veering off-course and how to steer back to authenticity with confidence in every aspect of your marketing communications.
Wrapping up, we reflect on the importance of self-care, boundary setting, and the aftermath of events. Chrissy leaves us with poignant insights on self-discovery, providing practical advice and resources for aligning your personal truths with your professional endeavors. It's an episode brimming with wisdom for any wedding professional looking to build an empire rooted in authenticity. Don't miss out on this and more in our Wedding Empires Pro community – and for a touch more inspiration, follow our new Instagram account where the conversation continues.
As a business coach, Chrissy brings a refreshing take on networking that transcends the digital landscape, emphasizing the value of in-person encounters. Let's be honest, it's easy to lose yourself in the sea of trends, but here, we share stories of how staying true to one's brand can forge lasting relationships and ward off burnout. We also tackle the tough stuff: recognizing when you're veering off-course and how to steer back to authenticity with confidence in every aspect of your marketing communications.
Wrapping up, we reflect on the importance of self-care, boundary setting, and the aftermath of events. Chrissy leaves us with poignant insights on self-discovery, providing practical advice and resources for aligning your personal truths with your professional endeavors. It's an episode brimming with wisdom for any wedding professional looking to build an empire rooted in authenticity. Don't miss out on this and more in our Wedding Empires Pro community – and for a touch more inspiration, follow our new Instagram account where the conversation continues.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I'm so thrilled to meet you.
We've been talking for quite afew weeks now about getting you
on the podcast.
You've got an interestingbusiness where you coach and you
do a whole range of things.
Why don't you give me a littlerundown on what it is that you
do?
Yeah, thank you.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
I'm excited to be here.
I think it's going to be a goodconversation.
So what I do, long story short,is basically work with really
cool people, primarily women,who have some kind of
service-based business, who wantto actually enjoy their life,
make a lot of money, make a bigimpact in the world and still
enjoy their life along the way.
(00:37):
So I am a business coach bytitle, but everything I do is
from a human first approach oflet's get you that money, let's
get you that impact, and alsolet's do it in a way that's
really sustainable, that you'renot going crazy, you're not
sacrificing your time, yourwell-being or your sanity and
actually get you to enjoy yourlife along the way.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
I love it, and today we're going to talk specifically
about let me see if I can saythis right authenticity.
And look, it's something thatheaps of us struggle with, so I
guess let's start at thebeginning.
How do you define authenticity?
Speaker 2 (01:14):
Yeah, so just the definition alone is one of those
things that trips people up,because oftentimes when we think
about authenticity, we thinklike we have to share everything
about us with the whole worldand like our personal diary is
out there for everyone to see.
But it's not necessarily aboutsharing all of you all the time.
(01:34):
It's about knowing who you arefirst and foremost, like
actually doing thedeconditioning work of what
everyone else has told you andfiguring out who you are and
then showing up with the samecore values, the same core
tenets of yourself, your core,wherever you are.
So how I show up with myhusband is, at the base level,
(01:59):
the same as how I show up withmy clients.
Now, my languaging is different, my level of familiarity is
different, but my passion, mycreativity, my directness, my
dry sense of humor is all thereacross the board, because
they're basic tenants of who Iam and they are core to who I am
(02:20):
.
So that's really authenticityis being consistent in every
part of your life in a way thatfeels really good and true to
you.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
How do you think being authentic, or showing your
authenticity, is important fora wedding professional.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
Yes, so weddings have so much emotion with them.
Right, it's touted as one ofthe best days of your life, and
for some people that is, and forsome people it's just a day of
stress.
Right, it's big, heavy emotions.
It's going to be something that, regardless of the length of
time the planning actually goeson, you're going to remember
(03:01):
that for much of the rest ofyour life.
You're going to remember thatfor much of the rest of your
life.
So, to have someone in yourcorner that gets you, that's not
judging you.
Who's not going oh my gosh, Ireally hate this client.
But they're paying me a lot ofmoney, but, like, she's just
terrible.
Right, you don't want somebodywent like that.
(03:22):
You don't want to be thatwedding planner, but to be able
to be yourself and talk aboutthings that interest you, to
share actual parts of yourselfand to build real relationship
with your clients not only isgoing to give you more clients
you love to work with, you'reenergized.
At the end of the day, you'renot drained.
(03:42):
It's going to give you moremoney because you're going to
have that word of mouth excuseme, word of mouth referral, and
it's just going to be more funfor everybody involved.
It's not going to be.
Oh my God, I have enough likeshe's calling me again, right?
No more of that.
By being authentic, by reallyshowing up and talking about the
(04:04):
things that you want to talk,about having the same values,
things like that, it helps kindof just make the whole process
simpler and less of a headache.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
And, as you know, I got more and more couples.
I certainly got to a pointwhere I could, you know, pick
the ones and vibe with the onesthat I was going to get along
with.
And really that started tohappen when I stopped being so
formal in my first meetings withpeople and I actually like, yes
(04:37):
, got the bottle of rosé, gotthe cheese board, talked about
other things, and, you know, wereally got to know each other
and that actually became aslogan of our business was that
we were your wedding bestie andthat's what the relationship was
like.
You know, it wasn't like thisperson that they've hired, it
was this other person that wasas excited as them about their
(05:02):
wedding, you know.
And we caught up over wine andcheese once a month and that.
But I think that's that's meright, that's that's what I like
to do.
So so I totally agree with you,I think it's it's really
important.
Can you share some actionablesteps that, like, wedding
business owners could take to, Iguess, uncover and amplify,
(05:22):
like who they are, theirauthenticity?
Speaker 2 (05:26):
Yes.
So first and foremost, beforeactionable step, just a reminder
that this is not going to be gojournal for 20 minutes and
you've got it nailed and you'dever have to think about it
again.
It is an ever evolving process.
Who you are today is going tobe vastly different than who you
are in six months time, threeyears, et cetera.
So give yourself grace,remember that you're a human
(05:48):
being and stuff happens.
First actionable tip is toactually sit down with the
earmuffs, with the blinders, notlooking at anybody else,
including family, friends, etc.
And ask yourself what'simportant to you.
Most of the time we don't giveany kind of credit to our values
(06:09):
, but our values create so muchof who we are.
So really understand what doyou value With your business
besties I love that, by the waywedding besties you value that
relationship, that realconnection.
For some people they want moreoff right.
They want a little bit moredistance and more formality.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
We're at the rock for them.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
It would not go well.
We have to understand ourvalues, so there are a bunch of.
You can just Google values list, find my values, and there are
a ton of free resources to goout there and look, but find
your values.
That's the first one.
And then the second tip is tospend time really going through
(06:55):
the activities that you're doingin your business, and I mean
everything Marketing, whereyou're marketing, how you're
marketing, where you're showingup what you're doing, how often
your pricing your packaging, howyou communicate every single
element of your business and askyourself why?
Why are you on Instagram?
(07:16):
Why aren't you on TikTok?
Why are you on podcasts?
Why aren't you in emails?
Yeah, and really give yourselfthat chance to figure out where
those decisions are coming from,because it might be that you're
running your business based offof a lot of shoulds.
So and so said, the experts aresaying but at the end of the day
(07:39):
, the experts don't matter, it'swhat feels true to you and then
give yourself time to figurethat out, because, again, that's
a lot that I just gave you inthose two steps.
Give yourself grace in makingthe necessary changes.
It might take you a while, it'sokay.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
Okay, and what role do you think vulnerability takes
in being authentic?
Speaker 2 (08:13):
So a lot of people think vulnerability is showing
up and airing all of your dirtylaundry and just being like, oh
my gosh, I got into a spat withmy husband this morning, like I
can't take any of your nonsensetoday, right?
That's not vulnerability.
Vulnerability is really justthat human to human opportunity
to deepen the relationship.
(08:34):
It could be something as simple.
As you know, it's really hottoday.
Do you mind if I take an extrasip of water?
Like I'm going to carry twobottles with me today?
Everything's good.
I'm just really thirsty as wego tour this venue.
Good, I'm just really thirstyas we go tour this venue.
It could be I, you know, I haveto reschedule.
(08:54):
Something happened to my dog ormy friend.
I'm so sorry and notnecessarily keeping it super
formal of dear so-and-so, I haveto unfortunately reschedule our
like.
Don't make it weird.
Don't make it weird, but allowthat space to show a little bit
of your life, to show a littlebit that you're not a wedding
(09:15):
planner At the end of the day,you're a human being and just
letting them see you for who youare.
So it's that opportunity againto really deepen the
relationship and that connectionwith each other, without going
out there and being like blah,blah blah.
Here's my diary entry for today.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
Yeah, yeah.
And look, so many times I'vegot the gig because and they've
told me this that we've gelledas a person, we've.
You know I trust her, I get her, she gets me and it's, and it's
sometimes, you know, it'sequally as important as the work
.
You know I might be doing thesame kind of glamping style
(09:55):
wedding that someone else isdoing, but it's that connection
that that gets you, that landsyou that couple.
Um cool, okay.
Have you encountered anyinstances where leading with all
10 authenticity has led to anyopportunities or growth for
businesses?
Speaker 2 (10:13):
Absolutely so.
I work with a couple ofregistered dietitians and one of
them does not want to be onsocial media, like it's not her
jam, but she works withendurance athletes, who a lot of
them are on social media.
There's a lot of influencerstyle nutrition.
She doesn't show up that way.
(10:35):
She's very science-backed,she's very evidence.
She's a little bit dry, right.
She likes her science and herdata and her numbers.
So instead of doing the socialmedia route where she would bang
her head against a wall,instead of doing the social
media route where she would bangher head against a wall, she
goes podcasting and speaking andwebinars and lunch and learns
and things that sound reallyboring to a lot of people.
(10:56):
But she has made a niche forherself.
She is the go-to in herphysical community and the
outlying areas because she showsup as herself.
She gets pitched to becollaboration partners and it's
a happy fix for her to show upthat way.
(11:19):
That doesn't stress her out.
She doesn't spend hours onInstagram or social media.
She wants to do it that way andshe's had really cool
opportunities come up to partnerwith tech firms, to partner
with other like local businessesand she's just happy.
She's happy and she getsclients and it's a good.
It's a good balance.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
I think I think it's interesting to to to talk about
that and say it doesn't all haveto be on social.
You know, like I'm alsosomebody who works better in
like a physical businessnetworking setup with a glass of
wine in my hand, you knowthat's, that's my comfy space to
go and meet somebody.
And and where my business wasin Geelong in in Australia,
(12:04):
there was a celebrant group thatset up a business networking
night specific for the weddingprofessionals in our area and oh
my God, the amount ofconnections that I made that
night and the amount of peoplethat I preferred from meeting
that night that I actually neverdid a wedding with but it was
kind of like instantly.
Clients were, you know, saying,oh, I need a celebrant.
(12:26):
Oh I met one the other night.
She was great, know so.
So I think, if, if that's Ithink it's important to say that
, if that's your comfy space, ifthat's where you can be
authentic and make authenticconnections over tiktok or um,
you know, you know, whatever, itis instagram or whatever then
then do more of that, like youknow, make that your thing
(12:49):
because you know it's obviouslygoing to work for you, do you?
Do you, do you know any signsthat wedding professionals
specifically need to be mindfulof if they're like veering away
from their authentic path?
Speaker 2 (13:07):
Yeah, there are two big ones.
One is going back to thoseclients who drain you.
One of the biggest things forwedding professionals and for
humans is when we start to thinkthat we have to do something
and we have to, like, go afterthat money or we have to go
(13:27):
after that next goal, we'realways going, going, going,
right, all of us.
We're always going, we'reambitious, but you feel day in
and day out, repeatedly that youare drained, and day out,
repeatedly that you are drained,that maybe you're starting to
resent the business.
Or you're looking at that phonecall coming in and you think,
(13:51):
four-letter words afterfour-letter words, that's a sign
that that client wasn't a fit.
So really ask yourself whathappened there?
Did you take it because youthought you had to?
Did you take it because youdidn't set those expectations?
Really ask yourself, like, whyam I feeling drained and
resenting my business at the endof the day?
Yeah, kind of comparison.
(14:16):
And this is especially true ifyou are running your business
primarily on social mediaBlinders, earmuffs, blinders,
earmuffs.
Stop following all of yourfriends, stop following all of
the industry professionals whenyou start to do things because
you're like, oh, so-and-so isdoing this, oh, this is the new
(14:38):
trend.
Well, I should do that.
The word should is a hugesignal that you need to take a
beat and ask yourself who'stelling you that you should be
doing that, and is it actuallyaligned?
Yeah, I agree with you.
Those two things are going tosave you, hopefully, a lot of
(15:00):
heartache and a lot of headacheas you go throughout making sure
that you really are doingthings from a place that feels
good.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
I would say my two most difficult brides that I had
.
There were red flags from thatfirst meeting and you know like
it was just hard work the entiregig from start to finish.
I did not like her as a personin the end.
I'm sure she didn't probablylike me either, but you know it
(15:27):
was cash up front.
It was a good gig on paper butI hated every minute of it and I
think that you know that taughtme a really big lesson that red
flags aren't just inrelationships.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
You can get them from abroad and you need to run.
It's hard, like that's onething when we talk about
authenticity it's.
It's a hard journey some daysbecause those paychecks are
tempting and maybe I don't knowyour situation, maybe you have
to right, maybe you have to dothings that you don't want to do
, to like pay the bills.
(16:02):
But at the end of the dayyou're going to learn from those
things too.
You learned you are not goingto take that kind of client
moving forward Like again, youmight make a mistake, quote
unquote, you might go againstwhat you know to be true, and
it's just going to reconfirm Iactually do know who I am and
(16:27):
what I'm going to allow in mylife, and I'm not going to allow
that anymore.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
Yeah, yeah, and it's, and it's the same.
When you've got couples likethat that want you to deviate
from what you do, you know, likeum, we, we, we had quite a sort
of romantic style in in mybusiness and and I've had people
come to us and and you know wedon't stick with the one style.
But you know, there, there,there have been some requests
(16:53):
where you just think it'sprobably not us, it's probably
not us.
You know, I know who is reallygood at that, but that one's
probably not us, that particularstyle.
Now, just while I'm looking atthe chat box, mariana's got a
question for us.
She said what do you think isthe best way to communicate with
an authentic approach in ourmarketing?
(17:15):
Good question.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
That's a really good question.
Thank you for that one.
I think it comes down againgoing back, like knowing what
your values are, knowing whatyou stand for, what your
expectations are, etc.
And also being reallytransparent about that.
I think with marketing,oftentimes we think like, oh,
we've got to have the hook,we've got to get something who's
(17:41):
going to like bring people in.
We've got to get the new trendything, we've got to be shiny
and new, right.
But if you're transparent aboutwhat you stand for and what
you're like, what working withyou is like, people are going to
come flocking.
So just be really clear, betransparent.
If you are someone, let's seewhat good example.
(18:03):
One of my values is directcommunication Direct to the
point that I've very often beencalled blunt.
I'm rather blunt in mymarketing materials.
I don't beat around the bush.
It's not all sunshine andrainbows and butterflies.
Let that be the case.
If you are someone who's direct, let that be the case.
If you're someone who's fun,loving casual rosé and cheese
(18:25):
boards, bring that through.
Let that come through all ofyour marketing, whether it's
with the languaging, whetherit's with like fun graphics,
whether it's whatever it is.
Be transparent about who youare and how you work, and I
think that's going to really setyou up well for success Great
(18:47):
Now, have you got anysuggestions around sort of tools
or resources or practices tohelp people?
Speaker 1 (18:55):
I guess dig deep and kind of you know, find out who
they are and how they should becommunicating and being
authentic.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
Yes, so full on going to promote.
I've got a five day challenge.
You can check out my website,but you can also do really
simple things.
You can journal.
Get some there again.
Google self-reflectiveauthenticity questions.
There are millions you canjournal.
I'm going to go back.
I've said this multiple timesnow Blinders and earmuffs Stop
(19:27):
consuming everything on socialmedia.
Stop comparing yourself.
Give yourself time and space tofigure out who you are, to do
the deep work of wow, maybe I'mnot actually introverted, maybe
I've just been told that I'mquiet, or someone has told me
(19:47):
I'm really loud and obnoxious.
But you know what I'm not.
I'm just opinionated.
Give yourself that chance.
Whether it's through journalingprompts, I really like to do
somatic work.
I think a lot of our knowledgeis inside our bodies.
When we can get out of our head, that's just going to take us
in chaos circles and get intoour bodies.
It's a lot easier while beingsimultaneously difficult.
(20:11):
So there's an organizationcalled the Embody Lab.
I'm not affiliated with them,but I've taken trainings through
them and they've got someamazing resources.
As far as like stopping thatmind chatter, stopping that I
should be doing this, I shouldbe doing that, and really just
like kind of tuning intoyourself of what do I want to do
(20:32):
.
How do I get to show up?
Those would be my, withoutlisting out like 15, those would
be my top resources.
That's good, that's good,that's good.
Speaker 1 (20:41):
Reem has got a question for us.
What would you do when you workin a full hang on?
What would you do when you workin a fully authentic way and go
the extra mile with a client,while working in a very tight
budget and get the worsttreatment on the wedding day?
Speaker 2 (21:03):
How do you feel authentic in that scenario?
Yeah, so I think this is areally hopefully that didn't
happen.
If it did, I apologize.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
You go to your car and you shut the window and you
scream.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
Yeah.
So a couple of things here.
Absolutely, that would be.
My first step is to take careof yourself, Whether that means
that you are taking a beat, thatyou're walking away, that you
are screaming into the woods,that you're screaming in your
car, that you're dancing likewhatever it needs to take that
(21:33):
kind of edge off right, thatyou're not like ready to go to
town and just scream at thatperson back.
Take care of yourself.
Then, on the day again, like itkind of depends on like who you
are in the relationship Iprobably wouldn't go to the
bride or groom it's still theirday.
But if you need to absolutelypull them aside, have that
(21:59):
conversation of this isunacceptable.
I, you know, whatever you needto do for yourself, whether you
need to leave, whether you needsomeone else to be the liaison
between you and them, likewhatever's going on but have
that direct, open conversation.
Let them know, hey, this iswhat's happening, whether it's
them or like a guest has donesomething or said something to
you, and then I'd follow up.
(22:20):
So we're always going to handlethe situation when we have to
handle the situation, and thenwe're going to follow up and
have that conversation wheneveryone's a little bit more
removed.
And this is where thatvulnerability comes in Again,
not going super like far off therails, but letting them know a
little bit of like.
(22:41):
Why was that unacceptable?
What happened?
You can again, depending on whoyou are, how you are.
This is how that made me feelright.
This is unacceptable because XY, Z, this is how I should have
expected to be treated.
And relay those expectationsand where they fell short of
(23:02):
like, the reality fell short andstand in your own truth.
At the end of the day, whetheryou're showing up authentically
or not, no one gets to treat youpoorly.
No one deserves to be treatedpoorly.
So that's not a failing on you.
That's not a failing on beingauthentic.
That has nothing to do with you.
(23:24):
That goes into them, right.
So do what needs to be done totake care of yourself, whether
that maybe it's like changingyour contract or adding in
different lines.
I hope that answered thequestion.
I feel like I answered thequestion, but I hope I answered
the question?
Speaker 1 (23:37):
I think so.
She's smiling in the chat box,so I think so.
Now, christy, something Inoticed on your website which I
want to bring to everyone'sattention is that you have a
free 15 minute guided meditation.
Can you tell us about that?
Speaker 2 (23:50):
Yes, so I really I love meditations.
I think I've gotten a lot outof them personally because it
stops your conscious mind, willtake you down the rabbit hole of
all the things that you shouldbe doing, where meditations are
going to help you hit thatsubconscious a little bit.
(24:10):
And it's very much geared.
It is the languaging is female.
So I do say she and her.
If that's not your languaging,please just fill in with your
preferred.
Do say she and her.
If that's not your languaging,please just fill in with your
preferred.
But it's a 15 minute shortmeditation that you can do as
often as possible.
That really, just at the end ofthe day, helps you connect with
who you are.
It helps you connect with yourhigher self, your inner self.
(24:32):
That version of you that'stucked like mine sits right here
, which is why I keep going tomy chest.
But underneath all of theconditioning, underneath all of
the things that we're told we'resupposed to be, who are you,
what are you, how are you?
And it gives you that chancefairly quickly, right, it's a
(24:53):
short meditation to justreconnect with that and figure
out, without the journaling,without the hours and hours of
crying your heart out, like whodo you get to be today, so it's.
It's a fun little shortvisualization.
Yeah, if check it out, it'sreally I like it.
(25:15):
I've gotten good feedback.
I'll make sure.
Speaker 1 (25:17):
I put the link in our show notes so anyone listening.
If you want to have a look atthe podcast show notes, you'll
get a link to Chrissy's15-minute guided meditation and
her website ischrissymellingercom.
You can also find Chrissy onInstagram.
She's pretty active there.
We were DMing last night for meand her username is at Chrissy
(25:37):
Mellinger.
Thank you so much for joiningus.
I'd love to have you back inthe future and find out more,
because there's so much morethat you do as a business coach
and that you can offer weddingprofessionals, so we'll
definitely connect again.
For those of you who missed thevideo live stream, you can
become a member of WeddingEmpires Pro for only 19 US
(25:57):
dollars a month.
You simply go toproweddingempirescom, sign up
for a free seven day trial andyou can be there live for any of
these recordings and askquestions and engage with us as
we're doing our interview.
We've also got a brand newInstagram account launched
yesterday, so go and find us.
(26:18):
The username is Wedding EmpiresPodcast.
Thanks, chrissy.
We'll leave it there and we'llcatch up soon.
Thank you so much.
I'm so thrilled to meet you.
We've been talking for quite afew weeks now about getting you
on the podcast.
You've got an interestingbusiness where you coach and you
do a whole range of things.
Why don't you give me a littlerundown on what it is that you
do?
Yeah, thank you.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
I'm excited to be here.
I think it's going to be a goodconversation.
So what I do, long story short,is basically work with really
cool people, primarily women,who have some kind of
service-based business, who wantto actually enjoy their life,
make a lot of money, make a bigimpact in the world and still
enjoy their life along the way.
(00:37):
So I am a business coach bytitle, but everything I do is
from a human first approach oflet's get you that money, let's
get you that impact, and alsolet's do it in a way that's
really sustainable, that you'renot going crazy, you're not
sacrificing your time, yourwell-being or your sanity and
actually get you to enjoy yourlife along the way.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
I love it, and today we're going to talk specifically
about let me see if I can saythis right authenticity.
And look, it's something thatheaps of us struggle with, so I
guess let's start at thebeginning.
How do you define authenticity?
Speaker 2 (01:14):
Yeah, so just the definition alone is one of those
things that trips people up,because oftentimes when we think
about authenticity, we thinklike we have to share everything
about us with the whole worldand like our personal diary is
out there for everyone to see.
But it's not necessarily aboutsharing all of you all the time.
(01:34):
It's about knowing who you arefirst and foremost, like
actually doing thedeconditioning work of what
everyone else has told you andfiguring out who you are and
then showing up with the samecore values, the same core
tenets of yourself, your core,wherever you are.
So how I show up with myhusband is, at the base level,
(01:59):
the same as how I show up withmy clients.
Now, my languaging is different, my level of familiarity is
different, but my passion, mycreativity, my directness, my
dry sense of humor is all thereacross the board, because
they're basic tenants of who Iam and they are core to who I am
(02:20):
.
So that's really authenticityis being consistent in every
part of your life in a way thatfeels really good and true to
you.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
How do you think being authentic, or showing your
authenticity, is important fora wedding professional.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
Yes, so weddings have so much emotion with them.
Right, it's touted as one ofthe best days of your life, and
for some people that is, and forsome people it's just a day of
stress.
Right, it's big, heavy emotions.
It's going to be something that, regardless of the length of
time the planning actually goeson, you're going to remember
(03:01):
that for much of the rest ofyour life.
You're going to remember thatfor much of the rest of your
life.
So, to have someone in yourcorner that gets you, that's not
judging you.
Who's not going oh my gosh, Ireally hate this client.
But they're paying me a lot ofmoney, but, like, she's just
terrible.
Right, you don't want somebodywent like that.
(03:22):
You don't want to be thatwedding planner, but to be able
to be yourself and talk aboutthings that interest you, to
share actual parts of yourselfand to build real relationship
with your clients not only isgoing to give you more clients
you love to work with, you'reenergized.
At the end of the day, you'renot drained.
(03:42):
It's going to give you moremoney because you're going to
have that word of mouth excuseme, word of mouth referral, and
it's just going to be more funfor everybody involved.
It's not going to be.
Oh my God, I have enough likeshe's calling me again, right?
No more of that.
By being authentic, by reallyshowing up and talking about the
(04:04):
things that you want to talk,about having the same values,
things like that, it helps kindof just make the whole process
simpler and less of a headache.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
And, as you know, I got more and more couples.
I certainly got to a pointwhere I could, you know, pick
the ones and vibe with the onesthat I was going to get along
with.
And really that started tohappen when I stopped being so
formal in my first meetings withpeople and I actually like, yes
(04:37):
, got the bottle of rosé, gotthe cheese board, talked about
other things, and, you know, wereally got to know each other
and that actually became aslogan of our business was that
we were your wedding bestie andthat's what the relationship was
like.
You know, it wasn't like thisperson that they've hired, it
was this other person that wasas excited as them about their
(05:02):
wedding, you know.
And we caught up over wine andcheese once a month and that.
But I think that's that's meright, that's that's what I like
to do.
So so I totally agree with you,I think it's it's really
important.
Can you share some actionablesteps that, like, wedding
business owners could take to, Iguess, uncover and amplify,
(05:22):
like who they are, theirauthenticity?
Speaker 2 (05:26):
Yes.
So first and foremost, beforeactionable step, just a reminder
that this is not going to be gojournal for 20 minutes and
you've got it nailed and you'dever have to think about it
again.
It is an ever evolving process.
Who you are today is going tobe vastly different than who you
are in six months time, threeyears, et cetera.
So give yourself grace,remember that you're a human
(05:48):
being and stuff happens.
First actionable tip is toactually sit down with the
earmuffs, with the blinders, notlooking at anybody else,
including family, friends, etc.
And ask yourself what'simportant to you.
Most of the time we don't giveany kind of credit to our values
(06:09):
, but our values create so muchof who we are.
So really understand what doyou value With your business
besties I love that, by the waywedding besties you value that
relationship, that realconnection.
For some people they want moreoff right.
They want a little bit moredistance and more formality.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
We're at the rock for them.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
It would not go well.
We have to understand ourvalues, so there are a bunch of.
You can just Google values list, find my values, and there are
a ton of free resources to goout there and look, but find
your values.
That's the first one.
And then the second tip is tospend time really going through
(06:55):
the activities that you're doingin your business, and I mean
everything Marketing, whereyou're marketing, how you're
marketing, where you're showingup what you're doing, how often
your pricing your packaging, howyou communicate every single
element of your business and askyourself why?
Why are you on Instagram?
(07:16):
Why aren't you on TikTok?
Why are you on podcasts?
Why aren't you in emails?
Yeah, and really give yourselfthat chance to figure out where
those decisions are coming from,because it might be that you're
running your business based offof a lot of shoulds.
So and so said, the experts aresaying but at the end of the day
(07:39):
, the experts don't matter, it'swhat feels true to you and then
give yourself time to figurethat out, because, again, that's
a lot that I just gave you inthose two steps.
Give yourself grace in makingthe necessary changes.
It might take you a while, it'sokay.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
Okay, and what role do you think vulnerability takes
in being authentic?
Speaker 2 (08:13):
So a lot of people think vulnerability is showing
up and airing all of your dirtylaundry and just being like, oh
my gosh, I got into a spat withmy husband this morning, like I
can't take any of your nonsensetoday, right?
That's not vulnerability.
Vulnerability is really justthat human to human opportunity
to deepen the relationship.
(08:34):
It could be something as simple.
As you know, it's really hottoday.
Do you mind if I take an extrasip of water?
Like I'm going to carry twobottles with me today?
Everything's good.
I'm just really thirsty as wego tour this venue.
Good, I'm just really thirstyas we go tour this venue.
It could be I, you know, I haveto reschedule.
(08:54):
Something happened to my dog ormy friend.
I'm so sorry and notnecessarily keeping it super
formal of dear so-and-so, I haveto unfortunately reschedule our
like.
Don't make it weird.
Don't make it weird, but allowthat space to show a little bit
of your life, to show a littlebit that you're not a wedding
(09:15):
planner At the end of the day,you're a human being and just
letting them see you for who youare.
So it's that opportunity againto really deepen the
relationship and that connectionwith each other, without going
out there and being like blah,blah blah.
Here's my diary entry for today.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
Yeah, yeah.
And look, so many times I'vegot the gig because and they've
told me this that we've gelledas a person, we've.
You know I trust her, I get her, she gets me and it's, and it's
sometimes, you know, it'sequally as important as the work
.
You know I might be doing thesame kind of glamping style
(09:55):
wedding that someone else isdoing, but it's that connection
that that gets you, that landsyou that couple.
Um cool, okay.
Have you encountered anyinstances where leading with all
10 authenticity has led to anyopportunities or growth for
businesses?
Speaker 2 (10:13):
Absolutely so.
I work with a couple ofregistered dietitians and one of
them does not want to be onsocial media, like it's not her
jam, but she works withendurance athletes, who a lot of
them are on social media.
There's a lot of influencerstyle nutrition.
She doesn't show up that way.
(10:35):
She's very science-backed,she's very evidence.
She's a little bit dry, right.
She likes her science and herdata and her numbers.
So instead of doing the socialmedia route where she would bang
her head against a wall,instead of doing the social
media route where she would bangher head against a wall, she
goes podcasting and speaking andwebinars and lunch and learns
and things that sound reallyboring to a lot of people.
(10:56):
But she has made a niche forherself.
She is the go-to in herphysical community and the
outlying areas because she showsup as herself.
She gets pitched to becollaboration partners and it's
a happy fix for her to show upthat way.
(11:19):
That doesn't stress her out.
She doesn't spend hours onInstagram or social media.
She wants to do it that way andshe's had really cool
opportunities come up to partnerwith tech firms, to partner
with other like local businessesand she's just happy.
She's happy and she getsclients and it's a good.
It's a good balance.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
I think I think it's interesting to to to talk about
that and say it doesn't all haveto be on social.
You know, like I'm alsosomebody who works better in
like a physical businessnetworking setup with a glass of
wine in my hand, you knowthat's, that's my comfy space to
go and meet somebody.
And and where my business wasin Geelong in in Australia,
(12:04):
there was a celebrant group thatset up a business networking
night specific for the weddingprofessionals in our area and oh
my God, the amount ofconnections that I made that
night and the amount of peoplethat I preferred from meeting
that night that I actually neverdid a wedding with but it was
kind of like instantly.
Clients were, you know, saying,oh, I need a celebrant.
(12:26):
Oh I met one the other night.
She was great, know so.
So I think, if, if that's Ithink it's important to say that
, if that's your comfy space, ifthat's where you can be
authentic and make authenticconnections over tiktok or um,
you know, you know, whatever, itis instagram or whatever then
then do more of that, like youknow, make that your thing
(12:49):
because you know it's obviouslygoing to work for you, do you?
Do you, do you know any signsthat wedding professionals
specifically need to be mindfulof if they're like veering away
from their authentic path?
Speaker 2 (13:07):
Yeah, there are two big ones.
One is going back to thoseclients who drain you.
One of the biggest things forwedding professionals and for
humans is when we start to thinkthat we have to do something
and we have to, like, go afterthat money or we have to go
(13:27):
after that next goal, we'realways going, going, going,
right, all of us.
We're always going, we'reambitious, but you feel day in
and day out, repeatedly that youare drained, and day out,
repeatedly that you are drained,that maybe you're starting to
resent the business.
Or you're looking at that phonecall coming in and you think,
(13:51):
four-letter words afterfour-letter words, that's a sign
that that client wasn't a fit.
So really ask yourself whathappened there?
Did you take it because youthought you had to?
Did you take it because youdidn't set those expectations?
Really ask yourself, like, whyam I feeling drained and
resenting my business at the endof the day?
Yeah, kind of comparison.
(14:16):
And this is especially true ifyou are running your business
primarily on social mediaBlinders, earmuffs, blinders,
earmuffs.
Stop following all of yourfriends, stop following all of
the industry professionals whenyou start to do things because
you're like, oh, so-and-so isdoing this, oh, this is the new
(14:38):
trend.
Well, I should do that.
The word should is a hugesignal that you need to take a
beat and ask yourself who'stelling you that you should be
doing that, and is it actuallyaligned?
Yeah, I agree with you.
Those two things are going tosave you, hopefully, a lot of
(15:00):
heartache and a lot of headacheas you go throughout making sure
that you really are doingthings from a place that feels
good.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
I would say my two most difficult brides that I had
.
There were red flags from thatfirst meeting and you know like
it was just hard work the entiregig from start to finish.
I did not like her as a personin the end.
I'm sure she didn't probablylike me either, but you know it
(15:27):
was cash up front.
It was a good gig on paper butI hated every minute of it and I
think that you know that taughtme a really big lesson that red
flags aren't just inrelationships.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
You can get them from abroad and you need to run.
It's hard, like that's onething when we talk about
authenticity it's.
It's a hard journey some daysbecause those paychecks are
tempting and maybe I don't knowyour situation, maybe you have
to right, maybe you have to dothings that you don't want to do
, to like pay the bills.
(16:02):
But at the end of the dayyou're going to learn from those
things too.
You learned you are not goingto take that kind of client
moving forward Like again, youmight make a mistake, quote
unquote, you might go againstwhat you know to be true, and
it's just going to reconfirm Iactually do know who I am and
(16:27):
what I'm going to allow in mylife, and I'm not going to allow
that anymore.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
Yeah, yeah, and it's, and it's the same.
When you've got couples likethat that want you to deviate
from what you do, you know, likeum, we, we, we had quite a sort
of romantic style in in mybusiness and and I've had people
come to us and and you know wedon't stick with the one style.
But you know, there, there,there have been some requests
(16:53):
where you just think it'sprobably not us, it's probably
not us.
You know, I know who is reallygood at that, but that one's
probably not us, that particularstyle.
Now, just while I'm looking atthe chat box, mariana's got a
question for us.
She said what do you think isthe best way to communicate with
an authentic approach in ourmarketing?
(17:15):
Good question.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
That's a really good question.
Thank you for that one.
I think it comes down againgoing back, like knowing what
your values are, knowing whatyou stand for, what your
expectations are, etc.
And also being reallytransparent about that.
I think with marketing,oftentimes we think like, oh,
we've got to have the hook,we've got to get something who's
(17:41):
going to like bring people in.
We've got to get the new trendything, we've got to be shiny
and new, right.
But if you're transparent aboutwhat you stand for and what
you're like, what working withyou is like, people are going to
come flocking.
So just be really clear, betransparent.
If you are someone, let's seewhat good example.
(18:03):
One of my values is directcommunication Direct to the
point that I've very often beencalled blunt.
I'm rather blunt in mymarketing materials.
I don't beat around the bush.
It's not all sunshine andrainbows and butterflies.
Let that be the case.
If you are someone who's direct, let that be the case.
If you're someone who's fun,loving casual rosé and cheese
(18:25):
boards, bring that through.
Let that come through all ofyour marketing, whether it's
with the languaging, whetherit's with like fun graphics,
whether it's whatever it is.
Be transparent about who youare and how you work, and I
think that's going to really setyou up well for success Great
(18:47):
Now, have you got anysuggestions around sort of tools
or resources or practices tohelp people?
Speaker 1 (18:55):
I guess dig deep and kind of you know, find out who
they are and how they should becommunicating and being
authentic.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
Yes, so full on going to promote.
I've got a five day challenge.
You can check out my website,but you can also do really
simple things.
You can journal.
Get some there again.
Google self-reflectiveauthenticity questions.
There are millions you canjournal.
I'm going to go back.
I've said this multiple timesnow Blinders and earmuffs Stop
(19:27):
consuming everything on socialmedia.
Stop comparing yourself.
Give yourself time and space tofigure out who you are, to do
the deep work of wow, maybe I'mnot actually introverted, maybe
I've just been told that I'mquiet, or someone has told me
(19:47):
I'm really loud and obnoxious.
But you know what I'm not.
I'm just opinionated.
Give yourself that chance.
Whether it's through journalingprompts, I really like to do
somatic work.
I think a lot of our knowledgeis inside our bodies.
When we can get out of our head, that's just going to take us
in chaos circles and get intoour bodies.
It's a lot easier while beingsimultaneously difficult.
(20:11):
So there's an organizationcalled the Embody Lab.
I'm not affiliated with them,but I've taken trainings through
them and they've got someamazing resources.
As far as like stopping thatmind chatter, stopping that I
should be doing this, I shouldbe doing that, and really just
like kind of tuning intoyourself of what do I want to do
(20:32):
.
How do I get to show up?
Those would be my, withoutlisting out like 15, those would
be my top resources.
That's good, that's good,that's good.
Speaker 1 (20:41):
Reem has got a question for us.
What would you do when you workin a full hang on?
What would you do when you workin a fully authentic way and go
the extra mile with a client,while working in a very tight
budget and get the worsttreatment on the wedding day?
Speaker 2 (21:03):
How do you feel authentic in that scenario?
Yeah, so I think this is areally hopefully that didn't
happen.
If it did, I apologize.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
You go to your car and you shut the window and you
scream.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
Yeah.
So a couple of things here.
Absolutely, that would be.
My first step is to take careof yourself, Whether that means
that you are taking a beat, thatyou're walking away, that you
are screaming into the woods,that you're screaming in your
car, that you're dancing likewhatever it needs to take that
(21:33):
kind of edge off right, thatyou're not like ready to go to
town and just scream at thatperson back.
Take care of yourself.
Then, on the day again, like itkind of depends on like who you
are in the relationship Iprobably wouldn't go to the
bride or groom it's still theirday.
But if you need to absolutelypull them aside, have that
(21:59):
conversation of this isunacceptable.
I, you know, whatever you needto do for yourself, whether you
need to leave, whether you needsomeone else to be the liaison
between you and them, likewhatever's going on but have
that direct, open conversation.
Let them know, hey, this iswhat's happening, whether it's
them or like a guest has donesomething or said something to
you, and then I'd follow up.
(22:20):
So we're always going to handlethe situation when we have to
handle the situation, and thenwe're going to follow up and
have that conversation wheneveryone's a little bit more
removed.
And this is where thatvulnerability comes in Again,
not going super like far off therails, but letting them know a
little bit of like.
(22:41):
Why was that unacceptable?
What happened?
You can again, depending on whoyou are, how you are.
This is how that made me feelright.
This is unacceptable because XY, Z, this is how I should have
expected to be treated.
And relay those expectationsand where they fell short of
(23:02):
like, the reality fell short andstand in your own truth.
At the end of the day, whetheryou're showing up authentically
or not, no one gets to treat youpoorly.
No one deserves to be treatedpoorly.
So that's not a failing on you.
That's not a failing on beingauthentic.
That has nothing to do with you.
(23:24):
That goes into them, right.
So do what needs to be done totake care of yourself, whether
that maybe it's like changingyour contract or adding in
different lines.
I hope that answered thequestion.
I feel like I answered thequestion, but I hope I answered
the question?
Speaker 1 (23:37):
I think so.
She's smiling in the chat box,so I think so.
Now, christy, something Inoticed on your website which I
want to bring to everyone'sattention is that you have a
free 15 minute guided meditation.
Can you tell us about that?
Speaker 2 (23:50):
Yes, so I really I love meditations.
I think I've gotten a lot outof them personally because it
stops your conscious mind, willtake you down the rabbit hole of
all the things that you shouldbe doing, where meditations are
going to help you hit thatsubconscious a little bit.
(24:10):
And it's very much geared.
It is the languaging is female.
So I do say she and her.
If that's not your languaging,please just fill in with your
preferred.
Do say she and her.
If that's not your languaging,please just fill in with your
preferred.
But it's a 15 minute shortmeditation that you can do as
often as possible.
That really, just at the end ofthe day, helps you connect with
who you are.
It helps you connect with yourhigher self, your inner self.
(24:32):
That version of you that'stucked like mine sits right here
, which is why I keep going tomy chest.
But underneath all of theconditioning, underneath all of
the things that we're told we'resupposed to be, who are you,
what are you, how are you?
And it gives you that chancefairly quickly, right, it's a
(24:53):
short meditation to justreconnect with that and figure
out, without the journaling,without the hours and hours of
crying your heart out, like whodo you get to be today, so it's.
It's a fun little shortvisualization.
Yeah, if check it out, it'sreally I like it.
(25:15):
I've gotten good feedback.
I'll make sure.
Speaker 1 (25:17):
I put the link in our show notes so anyone listening.
If you want to have a look atthe podcast show notes, you'll
get a link to Chrissy's15-minute guided meditation and
her website ischrissymellingercom.
You can also find Chrissy onInstagram.
She's pretty active there.
We were DMing last night for meand her username is at Chrissy
(25:37):
Mellinger.
Thank you so much for joiningus.
I'd love to have you back inthe future and find out more,
because there's so much morethat you do as a business coach
and that you can offer weddingprofessionals, so we'll
definitely connect again.
For those of you who missed thevideo live stream, you can
become a member of WeddingEmpires Pro for only 19 US
(25:57):
dollars a month.
You simply go toproweddingempirescom, sign up
for a free seven day trial andyou can be there live for any of
these recordings and askquestions and engage with us as
we're doing our interview.
We've also got a brand newInstagram account launched
yesterday, so go and find us.
(26:18):
The username is Wedding EmpiresPodcast.
Thanks, chrissy.
We'll leave it there and we'llcatch up soon.
Thank you so much.
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