October 20, 2024 • 38 mins
After leaving behind the badge and the pressures of police work, Hayley Robinson found solace in yoga, transforming her career into one of healing and stress management. Join us as Hayley shares her compelling story and expertise, revealing how yoga became her sanctuary and solution for dealing with stress, especially for those affected by PTSD. Her unique journey into the world of weddings uncovers how she applies her skills in high-pressure environments, and her partnership with Ben adds an intriguing dynamic to the wedding industry's hidden challenges. Hayley's insights offer valuable lessons for anyone in demanding professions looking to find balance and peace.
Explore with us the fascinating ways the body stores and releases stress, including the intriguing concept of the "stress triangle" and the surprising emotional releases found through yoga. We introduce practical techniques like deep breathing and playful stress-shaking inspired by animals, proving that stress relief can be both effective and accessible. The benefits of mindful relaxation and tailored strategies to quell a busy mind are discussed, debunking myths and highlighting yoga's core advantages beyond stereotypes. Discover how moments of stillness can boost productivity and wellbeing, with personal stories offering relatable and diverse methods for finding calm.
Find out more about Hayley: www.hayleyrobinson.com.au
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
We are now on episode two of season three of Wedding
Empires.
Benjamin, always a pleasure.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Oh, Benjamin, I'm in trouble already.
We're one episode deep and I'min trouble already.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
We're well past that.
We have a very, very specialguest today.
I'm very excited about this onebecause this lady knows you
very well.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
She does know a lot about me, more than probably
anybody else.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Oh yeah.
How many years has this lovelylady known you?
Four, four years, mm, and sheputs up with all your madness.
I know, and.
I haven't been murdered andburied yet, so we're doing well,
yeah, so she must be veryspecial and she must be very
good at handling stress.
Get out the reason I say that.
(00:51):
You know, of course it's yetanother cheesy segue.
So, hayley Robinson, it's sonice to finally meet you, and
it's nice to meet you too.
Welcome to our little podcast.
Now you know what he actuallygoes off and does when he comes
up welcome to the couch um, yeah, so uh, we've been dying to get
you on because you you're anexpert in in, you know, reducing
(01:15):
stress and helping other peoplereduce stress in their life,
and being in the weddingindustry and being at weddings
is damn stressful at times so,as she found out, yesterday,
actually, yeah, helping me at awedding we'll have to cover that
because, yeah, I'm sure you'vegot, is damn stressful at times,
as she found out yesterdayactually, yeah, helping me at a
wedding.
We'll have to cover that because, yeah, I'm sure you've got some
firsthand insight.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
Yeah, an expert at managing me.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
Yeah, wow, okay.
Well, look, why don't we kickit off with you two having a
little bit of a chat, right?
Speaker 2 (01:44):
I'm sure there's a bit of an intro you could do
about your lovely partner, hiHayley.
Hi, you come here often, soit's been ages since I've spoken
to you.
How are you doing?
Speaker 3 (01:52):
I'm fantastic.
How are you?
Speaker 2 (01:54):
It's good.
It's been a long drive here inthe car, hasn't it?
Oh, yes, yes, it's half an hoursince we've spoken.
Thank you so much for joiningus today.
You so much for joining ustoday.
We're both very excited to haveyou here.
Can you tell us a little bitabout?
Speaker 3 (02:12):
you.
So how did this journey of whatyou do come about?
So I'm a former police officerand during my time as a police
officer, I would often practiceyoga to help me sort of manage
the stress and everything I hadto deal with on a daily basis as
part of the job, and I justfound I felt so much better
every time that I practiced yoga.
(02:33):
And then I decided to become aqualified yoga instructor and
went through and did my levelone teacher training, and then,
not long after that, I left thepolice.
I had to resign based onmedical reason, for medical
reasons.
(02:53):
So then after that, I justcontinued teaching yoga and then
I started working withco-workers from the QPS who were
experiencing PTSD, and Istarted noticing the profound
difference in them when Ibetween pre-session and
post-session, and how much morecalm and relaxed they appeared.
(03:18):
And I just started like the moreI practiced with them, the more
I began to notice the stressreduction and their ability to
manage and regulate themselvesstarted to increase um, and so
that was back uh 2018, and sojust, I've been teaching yoga on
and off since then, and now Iteach therapeutic yoga with um
(03:41):
people who are traumapsychosocial recovery people and
, yeah, I noticed a hugedifference in the long-term
clients that I have there aswell, and I also now teach and
help people in sort of more froma business aspect help manage
their stress using theprinciples of yoga and bringing
(04:01):
that into their daily life andhow they can find little hacks
and tips and tricks andeverything like that to bring
into their daily life to negatethe effects of stress I need you
in my life, not just, notseriously, though this is.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
This is something that will probably come to a
shock to a lot of people thatknow me and know me through the
wedding academy and whatnot.
But I have complex, complexPTSD, and which you know to
explain very quickly is PTSD isquite often a one singular
traumatic event, whereas complexPTSD is many, many over a
prolonged period of time, and inmy case it was 35 years, and it
(04:42):
means that I go from zero to100 very quickly and up until
knowing what it was and gettingtreatment, I was sitting at
probably 80 out of 100 justpermanently in my life every day
.
And so throwing a stressfulwedding on top of that, working
as a wedding planner yeah, Ireally need you, like about five
(05:05):
years too late.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
And if I can add the idiot spin to that, just a
disclaimer to say that wasn't methat caused that complex.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
PTSD yeah, it was before you it was well before me
everyone.
I had to up my medication oncewe met.
No, that's not true, Anyway.
No, I just I did not know thatabout you.
I knew that, um, you know thatyou help people deal with stress
, but you've obviously got that,that knowledge as well about
(05:34):
PTSD and how the connectionthere, Um, so was yesterday your
first time working with Ben ona wedding, or have you done it
before?
Speaker 3 (05:41):
No, I've done it before.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
And how it, it's.
Speaker 3 (05:44):
It's a lot of fun.
It's a lot of fun because itjust throws in, um, yeah, a bit
of something different to do in,so it doesn't keep life.
What's your role when you dothis?
I'm the assistant I hold.
I hold flashes, I pass bits andpieces, get lenses out of the
bag, put things back and allthat kind of stuff, and hayley
(06:04):
hayley does take photos too.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
Oh, so I'll set her up with a camera and she'll do
her thing and I'll sort of tellher, say, I want a reaction of
the groom when the bride walksdown the aisle or something, and
I'll kind of give her a job andshe will do that job.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
She'll nail it.
Yeah, yeah, okay, awesome.
So I'm sure going to theseweddings and seeing what he does
firsthand, you'd have someideas around how people get
stressed in those moments andthere's a lot to juggle and
things can go wrong and you'vegot to keep a clear mind and
deal with those things.
Have you got any kind ofobvious, obvious tips?
(06:41):
Maybe, I don't know, like wouldit be.
Is there things that we coulddo as a professional before the
event to to help prevent youknow, and to keep us calm?
Or is there things that wecould do as a wedding
professional before the event tohelp prevent you know, and to
keep us calm?
Or is there things that wecould do during the event to
sort of help equalize, if that's?
Speaker 3 (06:56):
the right word.
Well, yeah, like knowingfirsthand, like working with Ben
, I know exactly how it can beand so I can relate 100%.
So, first and foremost, breathcoming back to your breath is
the number one thing that youcan control right then and there
, because there's so manydifferent variables.
(07:16):
You've got a stressed out bride, you've got makeup artists
coming in and out, you've gotthe hair and makeup.
You've got all the bridesmaids,everyone trying to come in and
talk to the bride.
When you're trying to takephotos of the bride, um, or like
in saying a wedding planningthing, you've got the bride.
When you're trying to takephotos of the bride, um, or like
in saying a wedding planningthing, you've got the bride
bringing up.
You've got some disasterhappening, or they're changing
venues, or and something likethat.
So there's so many differentvariables happening.
(07:38):
But the one thing that you canalways control is your breath,
and so when you take a slow,deep inhale in deep down into
the lower part of the belly,you're activating through
something called the diaphragm.
The diaphragmatic muscle sits atthe base of the lungs.
It's sort of like aplate-shaped muscle, and so when
you activate that diaphragmaticmuscle muscle, it starts to
(08:00):
pull the lungs down.
So the lungs are the lungsthemselves don't actually work,
they they just sit there.
It's like an accordion.
So when you get the accordionyou actually have to pull the
accordion open and it forms anegative pressure inside the
lungs which draws the air in.
And so when you're activatingthat diaphragmatic muscle it's
(08:25):
pulling the lungs down,increasing the volume of the
lungs and increasing thatcapacity.
But through the activation ofthat diaphragmatic muscle you're
activating something called thevagal nerve.
And now the vagal nerve is thenactivate, something called the
relaxation response.
So everyone's probably heard thestress response and the flight
which is the flight of fightresponse.
(08:46):
No, well, but then you've gotthe relaxation response, which
is um, um, which helps bring thebody back down into a calm,
relaxed state.
So every time you take a slow,deep inhale right down to that
lower part of the belly, fillingthe lungs completely, you're
starting to therefore activatethat relaxation response in the
(09:06):
body, which is then going tostart to calm the body down.
A really, really good one thatI always find um is very quick
at regulating.
The nervous system is taking adeep breath in until you're 80
full and then taking a remainder20 full and then just slowly
exhale out, just let it justmelt out of the body and do that
(09:29):
three times and that's a really, really quick way of just
bringing you back into themoment.
Because when you've got so muchgoing on in such a high,
fast-paced environment, youbecome dysregulated very, very
quickly because there's so muchstimulation, there's so much
everything to think about.
But taking that slow, deepinhale just allows the body to
(09:51):
reset itself momentarily andthen you can go right.
What's important now?
What do I need to do in thismoment to manage this situation
or keep myself going through therest of this day?
Speaker 1 (10:06):
Sorry, another one my therapist taught me and we've
tried lots of things to sort oftake me from 100 and calm me
down, yeah, but one that worksfor me is think about something
you can see, something you canhear, something you can smell.
Yeah, I think.
What's the other one?
Something you taste, um take,yeah, and it, and it just seems
to distract you and and give yousomething to think about and,
(10:28):
and against your own will.
It distracts you and it seemsto calm.
Speaker 3 (10:33):
What that's doing is it brings you back into the
logical brain.
So you've got like youremotional brain, which is where
all the emotions happen, it'swhere you start to get
dysregulated.
Everything's all heightened.
But then when you give yourselfsomething logical to think
about, like a complex math, mathequation, the five things that
(10:53):
you can see, four things thatyou can smell, and everything
like that it starts the brainthinking oh okay, what can, what
am I able to process, what canI observe, what can I um, do,
like it.
Just it takes the attentionaway from that emotional centre
and then starts to bring youback into a more calm, relaxed
state because it's using adifferent part of the brain.
(11:17):
Another really good one that Ialways but you can't really do
in the moment, when you're, I'llsay, on the job but at home, to
negate the effects ofeverything that's happened
throughout the day, is focus ondoing things that are going to
release oxytocin, becauseoxytocin is going to then help
(11:39):
to negate the effects ofcortisol, which is the stress,
the stress hormone.
Oxytocin is known as, like thehugging hormone or the love
hormone.
So you always hear about when amother has a as a baby and they
have that oxytocin release,that initial cuddle, and they
get that really strong bond.
To begin with it's becausethere's a huge dump of oxytocin.
(12:00):
So you can sort of recreatethat by giving somebody a hug,
like when your kids or a partneror something like that, coming
home and it's got to be about 20seconds to get that dump of
oxytocin released into thesystem, um, hopping into a nice
warm bath.
Because that sort of mimicsthat, that hug, that warm, that
(12:20):
closeness and that feeling ofsafety, um, and it will help to
bring you back down into themore calm, relaxed state.
So if you yeah, it's if youokay, if you can't always take
away the stress of the day or ofthe job, but you can always
(12:41):
come home and do something tocounteract that.
And then also, too, what happensis we tend to store a lot of
stress in our body.
And then also, too, whathappens is we tend to store a
lot of stress in our body, sowe'll particularly the stress
triangle.
So we've got.
So the base of our skull downthrough the neck through to the
shoulders, is something referredto as the stress triangle, and
(13:02):
so if you think you're stressed,you start to tighten up through
the neck, and it's a typicalsign like oh, I'm so stressed,
my neck's really stiff and tight, my shoulders are tight because
we hold a lot of stress in ourum, in our shoulders, in that
stress triangle, excuse me andalso the hips.
The amount of times that I'vehad people in deep hip opening
exercises and they've burstedinto tears because they're like
(13:24):
I don't even know why I'm crying, like I don't know where this
has come from it.
It's because there's anemotional centre in the hip area
and so when they're in long,slow holds and deep stretching
in through the hip area, theystart to release through sort of
the subconscious, start torelease all the emotions, and
you don't always know why, oryou don't always know what
(13:46):
emotions you're releasing, butemotions are being released.
So it's things you can do athome after to counteract
whatever's going on through theday or what you've experienced.
Speaker 2 (13:59):
Wow, Before we heard about that breathing, I bet
everyone listening was kind ofthinking, oh my God, like I'm
not going to walk down and busta celebrant in the middle of a
down dog or something like thattrying to de-stress at a wedding
day.
Or like there's the decoratorpraying to the sun, or something
like that Breathing okay, thisis good.
(14:21):
So that breathing technique,what would you?
What's the name of that?
Speaker 3 (14:26):
Well, I don't really have a name, but it's just
basically like let's just forthe sake of it, call it 80-20.
So 80% breathe in, 80%, 20%hold and then exhale, and then
do that three times and you'llfind it quickly starts to calm
the body down.
(14:46):
So it's something that you cando on the spot there without
anybody really noticing whatyou're doing.
You can be say like if it was aphotographer, unpacking the
gear or a lens, and then doquick, three quick breaths just
to calm.
All right, reset.
Okay, what do I need to do now?
Speaker 2 (15:03):
I quite often do those breaths trying to talk
myself out of murdering someone.
Speaker 3 (15:11):
Well, if that works, works it seems to work.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
But another question is I'm I'm a dog person.
And jack, you're a dog,hayley's a dog person, we're all
dog people we've got threepuppies between us.
Dog shake to get rid of stress.
Yes, so could I come home, havea, get out and shake like a dog
and like, feel good, like I'msuch a typical idiot boy in this
(15:34):
scenario, aren't I?
Jack is the voice of reason,hayley's the voice of reason,
and I feel like I'm the thornamong two roses sitting here on
the couch.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
No, but I couldn't handle stress.
I've had to get, you know, aprescription for something to
sort of help me.
Just take me on the.
I'm not at zero, but I'm not at80 anymore.
I'm sort of I don't know 20 orsomething, but it's helped me
not fly off the handle and havemore clarity.
You know, if my husband givesme the shits, I'm not kicking
(16:04):
him out and getting a divorce.
I'm at least like entertainingwhat he's got to say.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
Oh, I love it, so essentially we could have a
shake.
Speaker 3 (16:14):
Yes, we essentially could.
So it sounds silly, butactually shaking things off,
like physically shaking andmoving the body, helps to
discharge that energy.
Shaking and moving the bodyhelps to discharge that energy.
(16:34):
So, like any, any dog owners,um will have known, it's like
you were out walking your dogand the dog sees, uh say,
another dog or some kind ofanimal and it gets its all its
hair stand up on end and then,once the threat has gone, the
dog will shake the.
The dog will just physicallyshake and give yourself a good
shake and then off it goes again.
The same thing happens in awhile.
There's this beautiful clip onwell, not so much beautiful, but
(16:56):
this amazing clip that showsthis whole principle perfectly
is um, I think it's a leopard ora cheetah, or something has
caught this gazelle and hasbrought it in, and the gazelle
has gone into a freeze response,which is the either the flight
fight or freeze.
The gazelle has gone into afreeze response, so it looks
like it's like it's dead, butit's not, it's just frozen.
(17:19):
And then these hyenas orbaboons come along, frighten
away the cheetah, and so thegazelle is just laying there and
the gazelle starts breathingagain.
Then, all of a sudden it startsconvulsing and shaking and it
looks like it's having a fit.
But what it's actually doing isstarting to discharge that
energy out of its body,discharge that, um, all the
adrenaline and everything thatwas built up.
(17:41):
And then all of a sudden thegazelle gets up and off.
It trots to live another day.
And it's because animalsinstinctively know to shake that
stress off out of their bodyand then, once they've shaken it
off, then they're.
That's why they don't walkaround with, say, ptsd or any
trauma issues is because theyget rid of that stress right
(18:02):
after, right after the exposure.
And then they're nearly all ofthe time fine to walk away and
be okay after that.
But it's not sociallyappropriate for a human to be in
a shop, have an encounter andthen start shaking all your
limbs.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
Have you guys never heard the song by Taylor Swift?
Speaker 3 (18:24):
Yeah, shake it off.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
I'm like it's perfectly fine's perfectly fine
actually sorry everyone, youheard it here first.
Speaker 3 (18:33):
When things go sideways at a wedding, it's okay
to stand there and shake for abit but even if you could just
walk, like even just somethingas simple as flicking your hands
or going into a, say I'm justgoing to quickly duck to the
bathroom, going into thebathroom, shut the door, do five
or six squats, that's after yougo, yeah, yeah, five or six
(18:55):
squats in in the bathroom orlike literally shake your hands
in the air or do something toget that energy.
Because we, like you know, whenyou're angry or frustrated or
something is intense, you canfeel it, especially around sort
of the heart area.
You feel it all in your chest,that tightening, that
everything's just starting toget too overwhelming.
You go, go in, say, into thebathroom in a private area where
(19:18):
there's no bridal party oranything like that, and you can
actually shake.
You could do like five or sixsquats and that physical
movement of the body, thatvigorous movement, is just
enough to get it out of yoursystem.
And then you'll find that whenyou re-enter that back in that
room, you're like, okay, let'sstart again so I'm I'm gonna
(19:40):
take things in a little bit of apersonal manner oh, excellent,
should I get my popcorn?
Speaker 2 (19:44):
oh god, no wine, no.
So, as a creative, I know thatI have a very personal
relationship with ADHD, andthese kind of techniques have
Help me to navigate certainsituations that I've found
myself in.
Would you like to share howthis helps in an ADHD sort of
(20:11):
situation?
Speaker 3 (20:12):
Yep, so I have ADHD as well.
Mine is more internal ratherthan external, so I experience
the overwhelm and, excuse me,the emotional dysregulation that
comes along with adhd.
Speaker 2 (20:30):
So I can speak 100 from experience and just just to
add, we are both diagnosed.
This is not a little homediagnosis at all.
Speaker 3 (20:39):
So um, so sorry.
What was the question?
Typical adhd.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
Let's go for a swim so how, how does how does this
help someone with adhd?
Because with adhd because Iknow there's so many creatives
out there that that I don't wantto say suffer from this,
because I wouldn't really callit suffering I think it's a bit
of a superpower, to be honest,in some occasions, but it does
(21:05):
mean that we tend to beinternally juggling a lot and
that can be a bit overwhelming,that can cause stress.
So, in in your experience doingthis yourself, can you share
how doing this for yourself hasimpacted you and how it's
enabled you to to manage what,what you, what happens for you
(21:27):
and what you go through?
Speaker 3 (21:28):
yeah, yeah, so I, yeah it definitely.
I practice what I preach.
I'm not just sitting here going, oh you need to do this, you
need to do that.
I actually do all this stuffmyself and one of the greatest
things that I have found isfinding moments of quietness.
(21:49):
Um, because there's so muchinternal chaos that goes on my
brain on a daily basis, like I'mconstantly thinking, constantly
got bits and pieces zoomingaround my, zooming my brain,
zooming around my brain.
So, um, finding findingstillness, um, lots of times
throughout the day just to sitand do nothing, like there is.
(22:13):
There is great power in doingnothing, um, because it enables
the brain to reset andespecially as a creative as well
, you've got all these amazingideas, you've got all this
inspiration, you've got all thisstuff constantly swirling
around in the brain and thebrain's not designed to be going
100, 100 of the time.
(22:34):
So, sitting on the couch and I'mactually giving everyone
permission to sit and do nothingseveral times a day, walking to
the couch sitting at a blankbook, put your front, get rid of
your phone for starters, phonesare bad um, sitting on the
couch doing nothing other thanstaring at the wall or staring
out to beautiful trees that yougot outside.
(22:55):
Trees are fantastic to stare atum, because it allows the body
just to come back down to bequiet, to be still and find
those moments of pause andmoments of reflection.
And you'll actually find yourproductivity increases as well,
because you're not sendingyourself into overdrive, you're
(23:16):
not pushing yourself to extremeboundaries all the time.
So having frequent pausesthrough the day allows you to be
more productive yeah, guesswhat I do to relax, what pop?
Speaker 1 (23:34):
well, well, that did come up in therapy.
That was it's.
It's a funny story, right.
I had a therapist who wasworking through my complex ptsd
and saying you know, you need tofind times in the day to stop,
like, and she tried.
I've done yoga.
I don't mind yoga.
I will go back to yoga at somepoint soon.
I actually didn't mind that,but meditation very hard for me
(23:57):
to stop and not think aboutanything else.
I've got a million things goingon at once, always.
Um.
But yeah, she tried all thesedifferent things and it was so
funny because none of themworked.
And even to the point that shegave me an adult colouring book
and I got stressed when I wentout of the lines.
I found that really stressful.
Speaker 2 (24:16):
And so we ended up.
Speaker 1 (24:17):
I had a hot tub at the time and I said I'm just
going to tell it how it is.
What I do is I sit in my hottub and I have a rose hair
spritzer and then I finally likeswitch off.
But now it's I sit on the couchand I watch Rue Howe's Wives
and I know that it's like thatis.
It can't be the right thing todo.
I know that it's not the rightthing to do, but something about
(24:38):
that dumb show just makes mybrain completely switch off.
Women screaming at each otherand yelling at each other tables
I'll just sit there and mybrain just switches off the only
thing that works be, I guess.
Speaker 3 (24:53):
I suppose because it's essentially removing you
out of your own life, probablyout of your own head, and then,
um, going into their lives andand having half an hour or how
long the show goes for in theirlives, so you're forgetting
about what, everything that'sgoing probably in your life, and
so then, when you come back toyour reality, oh, I feel reset
(25:14):
because my brain has left me, myhusband's walking around going.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
I don't know how you can watch this shit.
You know I'm like, I love it.
I just feel relaxed, I lookforward to it all day and I just
feel great after I've watchedit but like it's it is, it's
highly individual.
Speaker 3 (25:31):
What what is going like.
Everyone knows what works forthem.
Like I can't.
Speaker 1 (25:37):
I can't sit here and say, oh, everyone needs to sit
down and and do coloring in,because it's not always going to
be, no, someone's jam no, butthat, for me, is the one thing
that will make me stop and notspeak, and not be on my device
and not and not think abouteverything else so it's, it's
finding and you'll, you'll know,you'll know what your thing is
(25:58):
like.
Speaker 3 (25:59):
I've got a mate and he rides motorbikes and whenever
, because he's he's a policeofficer and so whenever things
get a bit too much, he jumps onhis bike and off, he goes for a
ride, it clears his head, comesback, he's refreshed, he's reset
.
Speaker 2 (26:12):
So we've talked about breath work and we've had a bit
of a joke about having a shake,which is not so jokey.
We haven't really touched onthe yoga side of things.
Now I know that you've said tome in the past that some of the
blokey blokes and the you know across section of the community
(26:34):
might think that yoga is alittle bit woo-woo and that sort
of stuff.
So can you share with us howyoga can help manage stress and
can help with, obviously, withflexibility and and all kinds of
good health within the body?
Speaker 3 (26:51):
um.
So our, our mind controls thebody and our body controls the
mind.
So you think, if you're at awedding and you're moving
quickly, you're moving quickly,you're moving fast, and
everything's moving rapidly it'sgoing to send a signal to the
(27:11):
brain saying that, oh, we'removing quick, we're moving fast,
we must be stressed, and soyou're going to start producing
a lot of neurochemistry that'sgoing to start triggering more
of a stress response within thebody, and so it's a
self-perpetuating cycle.
So the brain will think thatwe're stressed, it's going to
move the body more radically,more quicker, and as the body
(27:33):
moves quicker and faster, itthen sends more signals back up
to the brain, and so it's just aself-perpetuating cycle.
With yoga it reverses that.
So if the mind is racing, ifthe mind is going quickly and we
start moving in intentional,slow, paced movements, it's then
(27:53):
going to start sending signalsto the brain.
Saying to the brain oh, we'removing slowly, there mustn't be
any threat around, there mustn'tbe anything?
Um threatening our survival.
So it's okay to start to slowdown, it's okay to start to come
back into the moment and notprojecting our thoughts and our
mind into future or past eventsand bringing yourself back into
(28:17):
the moment and then, as thebrain starts to calm down, the
body so too will start to calmdown, your heart rate will start
to decrease, your breath ratewill start to decrease, and so
doing the longer, slowerstretches as well, and the
deeper stretches.
It is essentially a mindfulnesspractice, because you're
(28:37):
focused on that musclestretching.
You can feel that musclestretching and it brings you
back into the moment because, asyou stretch, your awareness
comes onto that stretchingmuscle.
So there's an element of thatmindfulness happening as well.
Um, there's detoxification.
That occurs, like when youbegin to stretch and when you
(28:57):
begin to move the body, youstart to activate muscles, the
muscles contract, and as themuscles contract, and as the
muscles contract, it startspumping the lymphatic fluid
around the body more, and so itstarts to cleanse the body and
clear the body.
You're doing breath work, whichstarts to increase the oxygen
(29:18):
intake into the body, so thebody starts to become more
oxygenated and then, as yourelease, you're releasing more
of that carbon dioxide andtoxins with that as well.
More oxygenated, and then, asyou release, you're releasing
the more of that carbon dioxideand toxins with that as well.
So there's various aspects andreasons why yoga is so
beneficial for the body.
And then also, too, itactivates the relaxation
response and starts to bring thebody back down into a more calm
(29:41):
, relaxed state, and so there'sseveral factors that come into
play.
I'm not going to go into thatbecause it's a whole podcast
itself.
But yeah, so yoga is highlybeneficial.
Things like Tai Chi as well.
That's amazing.
Qi Gong is another good one aswell, because they're all
slow-moving, slow-pacedmovements and flowing sequences
(30:05):
that allow the body just to comeback into a more calmer-like
state.
Slow walking through the bushis another fantastic one as well
.
Anything that's going to slowthe body down is going to slow
the mind down as well.
I remember when I first startedyoga, it was difficult for me
to start to switch the mind off,because the mind was
(30:27):
continuously going, it wascontinually racing around with
all these different thoughts.
But it's like anything the morethat you do it, the more that
you practice it, the better youbecome at it.
And so once I overcame thatinitial hurdle of trying to
fight with my mind and allowedmyself just to come back into
(30:48):
the moment, then that's when Istarted to notice all the
benefits of yoga.
Speaker 2 (31:00):
So, speaking of high speed, you're probably wondering
why Jack has been unusuallyquiet, and that's because her
high-speed doggy Louie decidedthat he was going to try and
chase an equally high-speed,slightly bigger furry animal
outside.
So Jack has gone out to rescuehim and I think she's got him
now.
But, hayley, thank you so muchfor joining us.
Hopefully Jack will be back ina minute.
(31:21):
Have you got an offer?
Is there some way that peoplecan reach out to you if we have
wedding professionals out therewho are struggling with, with
dealing with stress on the day?
You know having moments, like Ido occasionally, where I just
want to throw my hands in theair and go, oh, my god, get me
out of here.
Um, how, how can, can peoplereach out to you?
(31:41):
Do you?
Do you do this sort of thingone-on-one like?
Let us know?
Speaker 3 (31:45):
yeah, so I.
Yeah, I've got a website.
It's hayleyrobinsoncomau, soh-a-y-l-e-y-r-o-b-i-n-s-o-ncomau
, so you can find me there.
I'm.
I don't have a social mediaplatform, um, purely because
(32:06):
it's not in alignment with whatI'm preaching, so I don't want
people going.
I don't believe social media isgood for the mind and it
activates the stress response,so why would I put myself on
social media?
It just goes against everythingthat I I teach.
Speaker 2 (32:26):
Now that you say that , that is that is so right and
counterintuitive to, tomarketing now.
So that's wow, that's aninteresting take.
Speaker 3 (32:36):
If people want to find me, please do come to my
website.
There's a little um section onthere where you can contact me.
Just fill out the form, um, andconnect with me that the way
and send me an email and thenI'll be able to respond there.
So I I do um.
I teach yoga.
I teach therapeutic yoga.
(32:59):
Um, that can be a littledifficult via zoom because you
can't always get the full effectof that.
However, I do do stretch stresscoaching, um, teaching people
how to negate the effects ofstress.
So everything that we'vediscussed today, plus a whole
lot more, I've got a whole lotof more things at my sleeve.
Um, so I do one-on-one coaching.
(33:22):
I can can do that via Zoom andI give people activities to take
away and get people thinkingdifferently about what happens
in their daily life and teachingpeople about their body and how
their body works, because oncepeople know and understand how
the body works, then we're ableto have better control over our
(33:45):
body and have better awarenessover the body, and then, when
we've got better awareness, wecan take better action.
Speaker 2 (33:52):
Yeah, yeah, so you have an offer for us that you
can share today.
Speaker 3 (33:59):
Yes, so my offer for listeners today it's $50 off my
one-on-one coaching calls.
So it's, um, yeah, if you justdrop a line to my website, onto
the contact page, just mentionthe fact that you've been
listening today to the podcastand I'll take 50 off their
coaching call and the link tothat will be will be in the uh
(34:23):
the bio below and jack back.
Speaker 2 (34:25):
now she's caught her small furry animal.
Speaker 3 (34:27):
I had to de-stress.
Louis Jack is still shaking off.
Speaker 2 (34:33):
That sounded horrible .
So well, the beauty of this isI'm going to get one of those
free sessions on the car on theway home from Jackson oh,
rubbing in.
Speaker 1 (34:46):
Yes, when can I borrow her?
Speaker 2 (34:49):
Well, whenever you want.
Speaker 1 (34:50):
Okay, all right, I'll book you Sounds like.
Speaker 2 (34:53):
Louie's going to need a de-stress too.
Speaker 1 (34:56):
I think so.
Oh, so lovely to meet you,hayley.
Thank you, I'm so happy to meetyou too.
All right, and I'm sure that alot of the listeners are going
to go.
Great something to do to justremove from this moment right
now go in the car and breathe.
Speaker 2 (35:11):
Well, everyone does know that your high-speed little
doggy just chased somethingequally high speed and you
caught him.
So, yeah, yeah.
So, guys, thank you very muchfor joining us for Episode 2,
season 3.
Yes, look at us go.
I know, We'll be back soon foranother one.
I, season three.
Speaker 1 (35:26):
Yes, look at us go.
I know We'll be back soon foranother one.
I know Fabulous, I mightactually come down and meet up
with you, yeah.
We'll smash out a few.
What do you reckon?
Speaker 2 (35:31):
That'll be exciting.
Speaker 1 (35:32):
All right, thanks, guys, and as always, you can
catch me atweddingacademyglobalcom and Ben
at wwwbenconnellycomau.
I reckon they know the WWB,don't stress me out.
Speaker 2 (35:49):
H-T-T-P.
Don't stress me out.
Speaker 1 (35:51):
Thanks guys, See you next time no-transcript.
We are now on episode two of season three of Wedding
Empires.
Benjamin, always a pleasure.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Oh, Benjamin, I'm in trouble already.
We're one episode deep and I'min trouble already.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
We're well past that.
We have a very, very specialguest today.
I'm very excited about this onebecause this lady knows you
very well.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
She does know a lot about me, more than probably
anybody else.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Oh yeah.
How many years has this lovelylady known you?
Four, four years, mm, and sheputs up with all your madness.
I know, and.
I haven't been murdered andburied yet, so we're doing well,
yeah, so she must be veryspecial and she must be very
good at handling stress.
Get out the reason I say that.
(00:51):
You know, of course it's yetanother cheesy segue.
So, hayley Robinson, it's sonice to finally meet you, and
it's nice to meet you too.
Welcome to our little podcast.
Now you know what he actuallygoes off and does when he comes
up welcome to the couch um, yeah, so uh, we've been dying to get
you on because you you're anexpert in in, you know, reducing
(01:15):
stress and helping other peoplereduce stress in their life,
and being in the weddingindustry and being at weddings
is damn stressful at times so,as she found out, yesterday,
actually, yeah, helping me at awedding we'll have to cover that
because, yeah, I'm sure you'vegot, is damn stressful at times,
as she found out yesterdayactually, yeah, helping me at a
wedding.
We'll have to cover that because, yeah, I'm sure you've got some
firsthand insight.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
Yeah, an expert at managing me.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
Yeah, wow, okay.
Well, look, why don't we kickit off with you two having a
little bit of a chat, right?
Speaker 2 (01:44):
I'm sure there's a bit of an intro you could do
about your lovely partner, hiHayley.
Hi, you come here often, soit's been ages since I've spoken
to you.
How are you doing?
Speaker 3 (01:52):
I'm fantastic.
How are you?
Speaker 2 (01:54):
It's good.
It's been a long drive here inthe car, hasn't it?
Oh, yes, yes, it's half an hoursince we've spoken.
Thank you so much for joiningus today.
You so much for joining ustoday.
We're both very excited to haveyou here.
Can you tell us a little bitabout?
Speaker 3 (02:12):
you.
So how did this journey of whatyou do come about?
So I'm a former police officerand during my time as a police
officer, I would often practiceyoga to help me sort of manage
the stress and everything I hadto deal with on a daily basis as
part of the job, and I justfound I felt so much better
every time that I practiced yoga.
(02:33):
And then I decided to become aqualified yoga instructor and
went through and did my levelone teacher training, and then,
not long after that, I left thepolice.
I had to resign based onmedical reason, for medical
reasons.
(02:53):
So then after that, I justcontinued teaching yoga and then
I started working withco-workers from the QPS who were
experiencing PTSD, and Istarted noticing the profound
difference in them when Ibetween pre-session and
post-session, and how much morecalm and relaxed they appeared.
(03:18):
And I just started like the moreI practiced with them, the more
I began to notice the stressreduction and their ability to
manage and regulate themselvesstarted to increase um, and so
that was back uh 2018, and sojust, I've been teaching yoga on
and off since then, and now Iteach therapeutic yoga with um
(03:41):
people who are traumapsychosocial recovery people and
, yeah, I noticed a hugedifference in the long-term
clients that I have there aswell, and I also now teach and
help people in sort of more froma business aspect help manage
their stress using theprinciples of yoga and bringing
(04:01):
that into their daily life andhow they can find little hacks
and tips and tricks andeverything like that to bring
into their daily life to negatethe effects of stress I need you
in my life, not just, notseriously, though this is.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
This is something that will probably come to a
shock to a lot of people thatknow me and know me through the
wedding academy and whatnot.
But I have complex, complexPTSD, and which you know to
explain very quickly is PTSD isquite often a one singular
traumatic event, whereas complexPTSD is many, many over a
prolonged period of time, and inmy case it was 35 years, and it
(04:42):
means that I go from zero to100 very quickly and up until
knowing what it was and gettingtreatment, I was sitting at
probably 80 out of 100 justpermanently in my life every day
.
And so throwing a stressfulwedding on top of that, working
as a wedding planner yeah, Ireally need you, like about five
(05:05):
years too late.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
And if I can add the idiot spin to that, just a
disclaimer to say that wasn't methat caused that complex.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
PTSD yeah, it was before you it was well before me
everyone.
I had to up my medication oncewe met.
No, that's not true, Anyway.
No, I just I did not know thatabout you.
I knew that, um, you know thatyou help people deal with stress
, but you've obviously got that,that knowledge as well about
(05:34):
PTSD and how the connectionthere, Um, so was yesterday your
first time working with Ben ona wedding, or have you done it
before?
Speaker 3 (05:41):
No, I've done it before.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
And how it, it's.
Speaker 3 (05:44):
It's a lot of fun.
It's a lot of fun because itjust throws in, um, yeah, a bit
of something different to do in,so it doesn't keep life.
What's your role when you dothis?
I'm the assistant I hold.
I hold flashes, I pass bits andpieces, get lenses out of the
bag, put things back and allthat kind of stuff, and hayley
(06:04):
hayley does take photos too.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
Oh, so I'll set her up with a camera and she'll do
her thing and I'll sort of tellher, say, I want a reaction of
the groom when the bride walksdown the aisle or something, and
I'll kind of give her a job andshe will do that job.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
She'll nail it.
Yeah, yeah, okay, awesome.
So I'm sure going to theseweddings and seeing what he does
firsthand, you'd have someideas around how people get
stressed in those moments andthere's a lot to juggle and
things can go wrong and you'vegot to keep a clear mind and
deal with those things.
Have you got any kind ofobvious, obvious tips?
(06:41):
Maybe, I don't know, like wouldit be.
Is there things that we coulddo as a professional before the
event to to help prevent youknow, and to keep us calm?
Or is there things that wecould do as a wedding
professional before the event tohelp prevent you know, and to
keep us calm?
Or is there things that wecould do during the event to
sort of help equalize, if that's?
Speaker 3 (06:56):
the right word.
Well, yeah, like knowingfirsthand, like working with Ben
, I know exactly how it can beand so I can relate 100%.
So, first and foremost, breathcoming back to your breath is
the number one thing that youcan control right then and there
, because there's so manydifferent variables.
(07:16):
You've got a stressed out bride, you've got makeup artists
coming in and out, you've gotthe hair and makeup.
You've got all the bridesmaids,everyone trying to come in and
talk to the bride.
When you're trying to takephotos of the bride, um, or like
in saying a wedding planningthing, you've got the bride.
When you're trying to takephotos of the bride, um, or like
in saying a wedding planningthing, you've got the bride
bringing up.
You've got some disasterhappening, or they're changing
venues, or and something likethat.
So there's so many differentvariables happening.
(07:38):
But the one thing that you canalways control is your breath,
and so when you take a slow,deep inhale in deep down into
the lower part of the belly,you're activating through
something called the diaphragm.
The diaphragmatic muscle sits atthe base of the lungs.
It's sort of like aplate-shaped muscle, and so when
you activate that diaphragmaticmuscle muscle, it starts to
(08:00):
pull the lungs down.
So the lungs are the lungsthemselves don't actually work,
they they just sit there.
It's like an accordion.
So when you get the accordionyou actually have to pull the
accordion open and it forms anegative pressure inside the
lungs which draws the air in.
And so when you're activatingthat diaphragmatic muscle it's
(08:25):
pulling the lungs down,increasing the volume of the
lungs and increasing thatcapacity.
But through the activation ofthat diaphragmatic muscle you're
activating something called thevagal nerve.
And now the vagal nerve is thenactivate, something called the
relaxation response.
So everyone's probably heard thestress response and the flight
which is the flight of fightresponse.
(08:46):
No, well, but then you've gotthe relaxation response, which
is um, um, which helps bring thebody back down into a calm,
relaxed state.
So every time you take a slow,deep inhale right down to that
lower part of the belly, fillingthe lungs completely, you're
starting to therefore activatethat relaxation response in the
(09:06):
body, which is then going tostart to calm the body down.
A really, really good one thatI always find um is very quick
at regulating.
The nervous system is taking adeep breath in until you're 80
full and then taking a remainder20 full and then just slowly
exhale out, just let it justmelt out of the body and do that
(09:29):
three times and that's a really, really quick way of just
bringing you back into themoment.
Because when you've got so muchgoing on in such a high,
fast-paced environment, youbecome dysregulated very, very
quickly because there's so muchstimulation, there's so much
everything to think about.
But taking that slow, deepinhale just allows the body to
(09:51):
reset itself momentarily andthen you can go right.
What's important now?
What do I need to do in thismoment to manage this situation
or keep myself going through therest of this day?
Speaker 1 (10:06):
Sorry, another one my therapist taught me and we've
tried lots of things to sort oftake me from 100 and calm me
down, yeah, but one that worksfor me is think about something
you can see, something you canhear, something you can smell.
Yeah, I think.
What's the other one?
Something you taste, um take,yeah, and it, and it just seems
to distract you and and give yousomething to think about and,
(10:28):
and against your own will.
It distracts you and it seemsto calm.
Speaker 3 (10:33):
What that's doing is it brings you back into the
logical brain.
So you've got like youremotional brain, which is where
all the emotions happen, it'swhere you start to get
dysregulated.
Everything's all heightened.
But then when you give yourselfsomething logical to think
about, like a complex math, mathequation, the five things that
(10:53):
you can see, four things thatyou can smell, and everything
like that it starts the brainthinking oh okay, what can, what
am I able to process, what canI observe, what can I um, do,
like it.
Just it takes the attentionaway from that emotional centre
and then starts to bring youback into a more calm, relaxed
state because it's using adifferent part of the brain.
(11:17):
Another really good one that Ialways but you can't really do
in the moment, when you're, I'llsay, on the job but at home, to
negate the effects ofeverything that's happened
throughout the day, is focus ondoing things that are going to
release oxytocin, becauseoxytocin is going to then help
(11:39):
to negate the effects ofcortisol, which is the stress,
the stress hormone.
Oxytocin is known as, like thehugging hormone or the love
hormone.
So you always hear about when amother has a as a baby and they
have that oxytocin release,that initial cuddle, and they
get that really strong bond.
To begin with it's becausethere's a huge dump of oxytocin.
(12:00):
So you can sort of recreatethat by giving somebody a hug,
like when your kids or a partneror something like that, coming
home and it's got to be about 20seconds to get that dump of
oxytocin released into thesystem, um, hopping into a nice
warm bath.
Because that sort of mimicsthat, that hug, that warm, that
(12:20):
closeness and that feeling ofsafety, um, and it will help to
bring you back down into themore calm, relaxed state.
So if you yeah, it's if youokay, if you can't always take
away the stress of the day or ofthe job, but you can always
(12:41):
come home and do something tocounteract that.
And then also, too, what happensis we tend to store a lot of
stress in our body.
And then also, too, whathappens is we tend to store a
lot of stress in our body, sowe'll particularly the stress
triangle.
So we've got.
So the base of our skull downthrough the neck through to the
shoulders, is something referredto as the stress triangle, and
(13:02):
so if you think you're stressed,you start to tighten up through
the neck, and it's a typicalsign like oh, I'm so stressed,
my neck's really stiff and tight, my shoulders are tight because
we hold a lot of stress in ourum, in our shoulders, in that
stress triangle, excuse me andalso the hips.
The amount of times that I'vehad people in deep hip opening
exercises and they've burstedinto tears because they're like
(13:24):
I don't even know why I'm crying, like I don't know where this
has come from it.
It's because there's anemotional centre in the hip area
and so when they're in long,slow holds and deep stretching
in through the hip area, theystart to release through sort of
the subconscious, start torelease all the emotions, and
you don't always know why, oryou don't always know what
(13:46):
emotions you're releasing, butemotions are being released.
So it's things you can do athome after to counteract
whatever's going on through theday or what you've experienced.
Speaker 2 (13:59):
Wow, Before we heard about that breathing, I bet
everyone listening was kind ofthinking, oh my God, like I'm
not going to walk down and busta celebrant in the middle of a
down dog or something like thattrying to de-stress at a wedding
day.
Or like there's the decoratorpraying to the sun, or something
like that Breathing okay, thisis good.
(14:21):
So that breathing technique,what would you?
What's the name of that?
Speaker 3 (14:26):
Well, I don't really have a name, but it's just
basically like let's just forthe sake of it, call it 80-20.
So 80% breathe in, 80%, 20%hold and then exhale, and then
do that three times and you'llfind it quickly starts to calm
the body down.
(14:46):
So it's something that you cando on the spot there without
anybody really noticing whatyou're doing.
You can be say like if it was aphotographer, unpacking the
gear or a lens, and then doquick, three quick breaths just
to calm.
All right, reset.
Okay, what do I need to do now?
Speaker 2 (15:03):
I quite often do those breaths trying to talk
myself out of murdering someone.
Speaker 3 (15:11):
Well, if that works, works it seems to work.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
But another question is I'm I'm a dog person.
And jack, you're a dog,hayley's a dog person, we're all
dog people we've got threepuppies between us.
Dog shake to get rid of stress.
Yes, so could I come home, havea, get out and shake like a dog
and like, feel good, like I'msuch a typical idiot boy in this
(15:34):
scenario, aren't I?
Jack is the voice of reason,hayley's the voice of reason,
and I feel like I'm the thornamong two roses sitting here on
the couch.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
No, but I couldn't handle stress.
I've had to get, you know, aprescription for something to
sort of help me.
Just take me on the.
I'm not at zero, but I'm not at80 anymore.
I'm sort of I don't know 20 orsomething, but it's helped me
not fly off the handle and havemore clarity.
You know, if my husband givesme the shits, I'm not kicking
(16:04):
him out and getting a divorce.
I'm at least like entertainingwhat he's got to say.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
Oh, I love it, so essentially we could have a
shake.
Speaker 3 (16:14):
Yes, we essentially could.
So it sounds silly, butactually shaking things off,
like physically shaking andmoving the body, helps to
discharge that energy.
Shaking and moving the bodyhelps to discharge that energy.
(16:34):
So, like any, any dog owners,um will have known, it's like
you were out walking your dogand the dog sees, uh say,
another dog or some kind ofanimal and it gets its all its
hair stand up on end and then,once the threat has gone, the
dog will shake the.
The dog will just physicallyshake and give yourself a good
shake and then off it goes again.
The same thing happens in awhile.
There's this beautiful clip onwell, not so much beautiful, but
(16:56):
this amazing clip that showsthis whole principle perfectly
is um, I think it's a leopard ora cheetah, or something has
caught this gazelle and hasbrought it in, and the gazelle
has gone into a freeze response,which is the either the flight
fight or freeze.
The gazelle has gone into afreeze response, so it looks
like it's like it's dead, butit's not, it's just frozen.
(17:19):
And then these hyenas orbaboons come along, frighten
away the cheetah, and so thegazelle is just laying there and
the gazelle starts breathingagain.
Then, all of a sudden it startsconvulsing and shaking and it
looks like it's having a fit.
But what it's actually doing isstarting to discharge that
energy out of its body,discharge that, um, all the
adrenaline and everything thatwas built up.
(17:41):
And then all of a sudden thegazelle gets up and off.
It trots to live another day.
And it's because animalsinstinctively know to shake that
stress off out of their bodyand then, once they've shaken it
off, then they're.
That's why they don't walkaround with, say, ptsd or any
trauma issues is because theyget rid of that stress right
(18:02):
after, right after the exposure.
And then they're nearly all ofthe time fine to walk away and
be okay after that.
But it's not sociallyappropriate for a human to be in
a shop, have an encounter andthen start shaking all your
limbs.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
Have you guys never heard the song by Taylor Swift?
Speaker 3 (18:24):
Yeah, shake it off.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
I'm like it's perfectly fine's perfectly fine
actually sorry everyone, youheard it here first.
Speaker 3 (18:33):
When things go sideways at a wedding, it's okay
to stand there and shake for abit but even if you could just
walk, like even just somethingas simple as flicking your hands
or going into a, say I'm justgoing to quickly duck to the
bathroom, going into thebathroom, shut the door, do five
or six squats, that's after yougo, yeah, yeah, five or six
(18:55):
squats in in the bathroom orlike literally shake your hands
in the air or do something toget that energy.
Because we, like you know, whenyou're angry or frustrated or
something is intense, you canfeel it, especially around sort
of the heart area.
You feel it all in your chest,that tightening, that
everything's just starting toget too overwhelming.
You go, go in, say, into thebathroom in a private area where
(19:18):
there's no bridal party oranything like that, and you can
actually shake.
You could do like five or sixsquats and that physical
movement of the body, thatvigorous movement, is just
enough to get it out of yoursystem.
And then you'll find that whenyou re-enter that back in that
room, you're like, okay, let'sstart again so I'm I'm gonna
(19:40):
take things in a little bit of apersonal manner oh, excellent,
should I get my popcorn?
Speaker 2 (19:44):
oh god, no wine, no.
So, as a creative, I know thatI have a very personal
relationship with ADHD, andthese kind of techniques have
Help me to navigate certainsituations that I've found
myself in.
Would you like to share howthis helps in an ADHD sort of
(20:11):
situation?
Speaker 3 (20:12):
Yep, so I have ADHD as well.
Mine is more internal ratherthan external, so I experience
the overwhelm and, excuse me,the emotional dysregulation that
comes along with adhd.
Speaker 2 (20:30):
So I can speak 100 from experience and just just to
add, we are both diagnosed.
This is not a little homediagnosis at all.
Speaker 3 (20:39):
So um, so sorry.
What was the question?
Typical adhd.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
Let's go for a swim so how, how does how does this
help someone with adhd?
Because with adhd because Iknow there's so many creatives
out there that that I don't wantto say suffer from this,
because I wouldn't really callit suffering I think it's a bit
of a superpower, to be honest,in some occasions, but it does
(21:05):
mean that we tend to beinternally juggling a lot and
that can be a bit overwhelming,that can cause stress.
So, in in your experience doingthis yourself, can you share
how doing this for yourself hasimpacted you and how it's
enabled you to to manage what,what you, what happens for you
(21:27):
and what you go through?
Speaker 3 (21:28):
yeah, yeah, so I, yeah it definitely.
I practice what I preach.
I'm not just sitting here going, oh you need to do this, you
need to do that.
I actually do all this stuffmyself and one of the greatest
things that I have found isfinding moments of quietness.
(21:49):
Um, because there's so muchinternal chaos that goes on my
brain on a daily basis, like I'mconstantly thinking, constantly
got bits and pieces zoomingaround my, zooming my brain,
zooming around my brain.
So, um, finding findingstillness, um, lots of times
throughout the day just to sitand do nothing, like there is.
(22:13):
There is great power in doingnothing, um, because it enables
the brain to reset andespecially as a creative as well
, you've got all these amazingideas, you've got all this
inspiration, you've got all thisstuff constantly swirling
around in the brain and thebrain's not designed to be going
100, 100 of the time.
(22:34):
So, sitting on the couch and I'mactually giving everyone
permission to sit and do nothingseveral times a day, walking to
the couch sitting at a blankbook, put your front, get rid of
your phone for starters, phonesare bad um, sitting on the
couch doing nothing other thanstaring at the wall or staring
out to beautiful trees that yougot outside.
(22:55):
Trees are fantastic to stare atum, because it allows the body
just to come back down to bequiet, to be still and find
those moments of pause andmoments of reflection.
And you'll actually find yourproductivity increases as well,
because you're not sendingyourself into overdrive, you're
(23:16):
not pushing yourself to extremeboundaries all the time.
So having frequent pausesthrough the day allows you to be
more productive yeah, guesswhat I do to relax, what pop?
Speaker 1 (23:34):
well, well, that did come up in therapy.
That was it's.
It's a funny story, right.
I had a therapist who wasworking through my complex ptsd
and saying you know, you need tofind times in the day to stop,
like, and she tried.
I've done yoga.
I don't mind yoga.
I will go back to yoga at somepoint soon.
I actually didn't mind that,but meditation very hard for me
(23:57):
to stop and not think aboutanything else.
I've got a million things goingon at once, always.
Um.
But yeah, she tried all thesedifferent things and it was so
funny because none of themworked.
And even to the point that shegave me an adult colouring book
and I got stressed when I wentout of the lines.
I found that really stressful.
Speaker 2 (24:16):
And so we ended up.
Speaker 1 (24:17):
I had a hot tub at the time and I said I'm just
going to tell it how it is.
What I do is I sit in my hottub and I have a rose hair
spritzer and then I finally likeswitch off.
But now it's I sit on the couchand I watch Rue Howe's Wives
and I know that it's like thatis.
It can't be the right thing todo.
I know that it's not the rightthing to do, but something about
(24:38):
that dumb show just makes mybrain completely switch off.
Women screaming at each otherand yelling at each other tables
I'll just sit there and mybrain just switches off the only
thing that works be, I guess.
Speaker 3 (24:53):
I suppose because it's essentially removing you
out of your own life, probablyout of your own head, and then,
um, going into their lives andand having half an hour or how
long the show goes for in theirlives, so you're forgetting
about what, everything that'sgoing probably in your life, and
so then, when you come back toyour reality, oh, I feel reset
(25:14):
because my brain has left me, myhusband's walking around going.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
I don't know how you can watch this shit.
You know I'm like, I love it.
I just feel relaxed, I lookforward to it all day and I just
feel great after I've watchedit but like it's it is, it's
highly individual.
Speaker 3 (25:31):
What what is going like.
Everyone knows what works forthem.
Like I can't.
Speaker 1 (25:37):
I can't sit here and say, oh, everyone needs to sit
down and and do coloring in,because it's not always going to
be, no, someone's jam no, butthat, for me, is the one thing
that will make me stop and notspeak, and not be on my device
and not and not think abouteverything else so it's, it's
finding and you'll, you'll know,you'll know what your thing is
(25:58):
like.
Speaker 3 (25:59):
I've got a mate and he rides motorbikes and whenever
, because he's he's a policeofficer and so whenever things
get a bit too much, he jumps onhis bike and off, he goes for a
ride, it clears his head, comesback, he's refreshed, he's reset
.
Speaker 2 (26:12):
So we've talked about breath work and we've had a bit
of a joke about having a shake,which is not so jokey.
We haven't really touched onthe yoga side of things.
Now I know that you've said tome in the past that some of the
blokey blokes and the you know across section of the community
(26:34):
might think that yoga is alittle bit woo-woo and that sort
of stuff.
So can you share with us howyoga can help manage stress and
can help with, obviously, withflexibility and and all kinds of
good health within the body?
Speaker 3 (26:51):
um.
So our, our mind controls thebody and our body controls the
mind.
So you think, if you're at awedding and you're moving
quickly, you're moving quickly,you're moving fast, and
everything's moving rapidly it'sgoing to send a signal to the
(27:11):
brain saying that, oh, we'removing quick, we're moving fast,
we must be stressed, and soyou're going to start producing
a lot of neurochemistry that'sgoing to start triggering more
of a stress response within thebody, and so it's a
self-perpetuating cycle.
So the brain will think thatwe're stressed, it's going to
move the body more radically,more quicker, and as the body
(27:33):
moves quicker and faster, itthen sends more signals back up
to the brain, and so it's just aself-perpetuating cycle.
With yoga it reverses that.
So if the mind is racing, ifthe mind is going quickly and we
start moving in intentional,slow, paced movements, it's then
(27:53):
going to start sending signalsto the brain.
Saying to the brain oh, we'removing slowly, there mustn't be
any threat around, there mustn'tbe anything?
Um threatening our survival.
So it's okay to start to slowdown, it's okay to start to come
back into the moment and notprojecting our thoughts and our
mind into future or past eventsand bringing yourself back into
(28:17):
the moment and then, as thebrain starts to calm down, the
body so too will start to calmdown, your heart rate will start
to decrease, your breath ratewill start to decrease, and so
doing the longer, slowerstretches as well, and the
deeper stretches.
It is essentially a mindfulnesspractice, because you're
(28:37):
focused on that musclestretching.
You can feel that musclestretching and it brings you
back into the moment because, asyou stretch, your awareness
comes onto that stretchingmuscle.
So there's an element of thatmindfulness happening as well.
Um, there's detoxification.
That occurs, like when youbegin to stretch and when you
(28:57):
begin to move the body, youstart to activate muscles, the
muscles contract, and as themuscles contract, and as the
muscles contract, it startspumping the lymphatic fluid
around the body more, and so itstarts to cleanse the body and
clear the body.
You're doing breath work, whichstarts to increase the oxygen
(29:18):
intake into the body, so thebody starts to become more
oxygenated and then, as yourelease, you're releasing more
of that carbon dioxide andtoxins with that as well.
More oxygenated, and then, asyou release, you're releasing
the more of that carbon dioxideand toxins with that as well.
So there's various aspects andreasons why yoga is so
beneficial for the body.
And then also, too, itactivates the relaxation
response and starts to bring thebody back down into a more calm
(29:41):
, relaxed state, and so there'sseveral factors that come into
play.
I'm not going to go into thatbecause it's a whole podcast
itself.
But yeah, so yoga is highlybeneficial.
Things like Tai Chi as well.
That's amazing.
Qi Gong is another good one aswell, because they're all
slow-moving, slow-pacedmovements and flowing sequences
(30:05):
that allow the body just to comeback into a more calmer-like
state.
Slow walking through the bushis another fantastic one as well
.
Anything that's going to slowthe body down is going to slow
the mind down as well.
I remember when I first startedyoga, it was difficult for me
to start to switch the mind off,because the mind was
(30:27):
continuously going, it wascontinually racing around with
all these different thoughts.
But it's like anything the morethat you do it, the more that
you practice it, the better youbecome at it.
And so once I overcame thatinitial hurdle of trying to
fight with my mind and allowedmyself just to come back into
(30:48):
the moment, then that's when Istarted to notice all the
benefits of yoga.
Speaker 2 (31:00):
So, speaking of high speed, you're probably wondering
why Jack has been unusuallyquiet, and that's because her
high-speed doggy Louie decidedthat he was going to try and
chase an equally high-speed,slightly bigger furry animal
outside.
So Jack has gone out to rescuehim and I think she's got him
now.
But, hayley, thank you so muchfor joining us.
Hopefully Jack will be back ina minute.
(31:21):
Have you got an offer?
Is there some way that peoplecan reach out to you if we have
wedding professionals out therewho are struggling with, with
dealing with stress on the day?
You know having moments, like Ido occasionally, where I just
want to throw my hands in theair and go, oh, my god, get me
out of here.
Um, how, how can, can peoplereach out to you?
(31:41):
Do you?
Do you do this sort of thingone-on-one like?
Let us know?
Speaker 3 (31:45):
yeah, so I.
Yeah, I've got a website.
It's hayleyrobinsoncomau, soh-a-y-l-e-y-r-o-b-i-n-s-o-ncomau
, so you can find me there.
I'm.
I don't have a social mediaplatform, um, purely because
(32:06):
it's not in alignment with whatI'm preaching, so I don't want
people going.
I don't believe social media isgood for the mind and it
activates the stress response,so why would I put myself on
social media?
It just goes against everythingthat I I teach.
Speaker 2 (32:26):
Now that you say that , that is that is so right and
counterintuitive to, tomarketing now.
So that's wow, that's aninteresting take.
Speaker 3 (32:36):
If people want to find me, please do come to my
website.
There's a little um section onthere where you can contact me.
Just fill out the form, um, andconnect with me that the way
and send me an email and thenI'll be able to respond there.
So I I do um.
I teach yoga.
I teach therapeutic yoga.
(32:59):
Um, that can be a littledifficult via zoom because you
can't always get the full effectof that.
However, I do do stretch stresscoaching, um, teaching people
how to negate the effects ofstress.
So everything that we'vediscussed today, plus a whole
lot more, I've got a whole lotof more things at my sleeve.
Um, so I do one-on-one coaching.
(33:22):
I can can do that via Zoom andI give people activities to take
away and get people thinkingdifferently about what happens
in their daily life and teachingpeople about their body and how
their body works, because oncepeople know and understand how
the body works, then we're ableto have better control over our
(33:45):
body and have better awarenessover the body, and then, when
we've got better awareness, wecan take better action.
Speaker 2 (33:52):
Yeah, yeah, so you have an offer for us that you
can share today.
Speaker 3 (33:59):
Yes, so my offer for listeners today it's $50 off my
one-on-one coaching calls.
So it's, um, yeah, if you justdrop a line to my website, onto
the contact page, just mentionthe fact that you've been
listening today to the podcastand I'll take 50 off their
coaching call and the link tothat will be will be in the uh
(34:23):
the bio below and jack back.
Speaker 2 (34:25):
now she's caught her small furry animal.
Speaker 3 (34:27):
I had to de-stress.
Louis Jack is still shaking off.
Speaker 2 (34:33):
That sounded horrible .
So well, the beauty of this isI'm going to get one of those
free sessions on the car on theway home from Jackson oh,
rubbing in.
Speaker 1 (34:46):
Yes, when can I borrow her?
Speaker 2 (34:49):
Well, whenever you want.
Speaker 1 (34:50):
Okay, all right, I'll book you Sounds like.
Speaker 2 (34:53):
Louie's going to need a de-stress too.
Speaker 1 (34:56):
I think so.
Oh, so lovely to meet you,hayley.
Thank you, I'm so happy to meetyou too.
All right, and I'm sure that alot of the listeners are going
to go.
Great something to do to justremove from this moment right
now go in the car and breathe.
Speaker 2 (35:11):
Well, everyone does know that your high-speed little
doggy just chased somethingequally high speed and you
caught him.
So, yeah, yeah.
So, guys, thank you very muchfor joining us for Episode 2,
season 3.
Yes, look at us go.
I know, We'll be back soon foranother one.
I, season three.
Speaker 1 (35:26):
Yes, look at us go.
I know We'll be back soon foranother one.
I know Fabulous, I mightactually come down and meet up
with you, yeah.
We'll smash out a few.
What do you reckon?
Speaker 2 (35:31):
That'll be exciting.
Speaker 1 (35:32):
All right, thanks, guys, and as always, you can
catch me atweddingacademyglobalcom and Ben
at wwwbenconnellycomau.
I reckon they know the WWB,don't stress me out.
Speaker 2 (35:49):
H-T-T-P.
Don't stress me out.
Speaker 1 (35:51):
Thanks guys, See you next time no-transcript.
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