February 29, 2024 • 46 mins
In an era where being perpetually connected and available is often seen as a virtue, the relentless pressure to stay "always on" can take a toll on both personal well-being and professional performance.
The Wednesday Wisdom Series proudly presents an enlightening session titled “Pause: Take Your Power Back from an ‘Always On’ Culture,” featuring Kim Groshek, the visionary Founder and CEO of Pause Power™, Inc.
Join us as Kim Groshek delves into the critical importance of disconnecting and how mastering the art of pausing can transform your life and career.
About the Wednesday Wisdom Series
Unless you've discovered the secret to everlasting life, you don't have enough time to learn everything there is to learn about how to grow and scale your business on your own.
The Wednesday Wisdom Series is where experienced professionals share their wisdom on running, growing, and scaling a business.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Ali Taylor (00:19):
All right. Hello, hello, welcome to Wednesday
wisdom series Live. My name isAli Taylor, I am the founder and
consultant and wisdom and wayfinder. This series is all about
if you unless you've discoveredthe secret to everlasting life,
you don't have enough time tolearn everything there is about
(00:40):
running, growing and scaling abusiness on your own. And so
that's why I've launched aseries where experienced
professionals will share theirwisdom so that you can save some
time and get further ahead thanyou would on your own. And I am
excited to have Kim Groesbeckhere with me today. Kim is a
(01:00):
seasoned business professionalwith over 35 years of experience
working with different fortune100 companies like Kraft, GE,
New York University, UW Madison.
She is also a registered yogateacher with yoga Alliance. And
in her corporate background, sheis known for her work in
promoting digital detox andmindfulness offering a
philosophy called pause power tohelp individuals thrive in the
(01:22):
digital age. And her mission isto make life easier for people
by empowering them througheffective time management
techniques and restoring balancein their life. Thank you for
being here today. Kim,
Kim Groshek (01:34):
thank you for having me ally. Of course,
Ali Taylor (01:37):
of course, you are.
Even though your whole thing isabout the pause power, you are
one of the most productivepeople, human beings that I've
ever met at any time in my life.
How do you like, just give me aquick picture of your day? Like
how do you get started? How doyou make it all happen? Yeah,
Kim Groshek (01:58):
so I use a methodology called the time box,
which is something that Ilabeled, but it's very similar
to the Pareto method. And Ireally plan out my year, my
weeks, and then my days, and I'mproactively looking at that
ahead of time. And my time boxis really specific to a 15
(02:19):
minute increment, which is alittle bit different than a lot
of the methods out there. And italso contains some soft skills
in it. And when within it, it isthat you actually get results
when you get done with being inthe box. So that being said,
when you first come in, youdecide what you're going to do
(02:40):
in the smallest little bitlittle bit of information, which
is like my podcast, right? It'sall about the minor little
things that you can really focuson. Yeah, then you can actually
accomplish within that 15minutes, so that you see
results. But then you have toagree that you're going to do
it. That's the big thing.
Because I think sometimes whenwe say we're going to drink
(03:03):
eight glasses of water a day,for instance, and we don't
usually do that, we get up inthe morning, and then we really
didn't say we say it, but wedidn't really agree. So then
what happens is we don't reallyfollow through with it. Yeah,
right. So within the 15 Minuteincrement, first of all, it
gives you a space and time,that's small enough that you can
(03:24):
then go through the processwithin the 15 minutes, get the
results. But if you don'tachieve the results, there's
another element calledforgiveness. Or you look back,
you know, like you do forproject management, where you do
lessons learned in somerespects, but looking back, and
then saying that you forgiveyourself for maybe not, you
(03:46):
know, maybe, you know, it'sbecause we're so hard on
ourselves, right? So it's likejust releasing forgiveness,
right? And then it is lookingback and learning because we may
have chunked it out too big.
Then there's this learningprocess in it, but it's a very
small, very small, and it thenhelps you get it off your plate,
(04:08):
which I call French wine,because we all and I would say
like we're living in likeCharlie Brown, right? I'm Pigpen
with the dirt around me all thetime. You know, yeah. And it's
kind of like just Okay, so we'regonna finish Wha, which means
that's when I say, clearing out,get to the focus, get the two
(04:30):
nuggets done. Now you have twonuggets off your plate, right,
then Shuang and you're gettingfocused and all of a sudden you
feel more streamline and you'llhear people say when they work
with me. I feel streamlined andmore focused now. Yeah. So
that's what I do. But my day isreally, I mean, I can tell you
all the different things that Ido during the day but it's about
(04:51):
that design, and then the nightbefore or the day before
depending upon what I'm doingand what piece of the puzzle.
I'll look at tomorrow. Like, forinstance, when I'm doing
conversations, you and I bothhave a lot of conversations and
networking that we do. The planis to have conversations, but
then there's a target in theend. So the day before I look at
(05:13):
what is my, you know, theconversation, but what's the
target, which is the results?
Ali Taylor (05:18):
Yeah. Yeah, I like that. Right. Like, I like the
fact that you're looking ahead,right, taking the time, first of
all, just taking the time thenight before, to set yourself up
for success for tomorrow, butthen planning out those
conversations, and really whatit is that you want the end
result to be, I feel like a lotof people just kind of wake up
and you know, first of all, theydon't, they don't make those
(05:42):
agreements about what it isthey're going to commit to what
they're going to actuallyaccomplish. And then they spend
all day just beating themselvesup like, Oh, crap, I didn't,
didn't do that. I said I wasgoing to do in the morning. And
so that takes precious energyaway from the rest of the day.
You've got it set up that one,you you strategize and you plan
your success for the day before,and then what do you want those
(06:05):
outcome of those conversationsto be? Whereas I feel like most
people are just kind ofstumbling along and why No, I
need to call this person but Idon't know why I need to call
them. Right. And I need to getout of that conversation. Yeah,
and
Kim Groshek (06:17):
here's the thing when you you just made a big
point about the fact that youbeat yourself up. So the whole
point is, I label things right.
I have written I read chaptersin books, you know, colabs and
stuff. And there was one chapterthat I wrote about Gremlins in
your head, right. So we canchoose right as Gremlins because
Gremlins are always like aroundus right in our stories that we
can either let within ourselvesor not. And the Gremlins show up
(06:38):
and they're either positive, youknow, that whole positive
negative thing that happens?
Yeah, those Gremlins around us,right, we can walk right through
the gremlins. So first of all,when you say that, you know, we
beat ourselves up, those are theGremlins that are happening that
are coming at us. But thoseGremlins wouldn't even happen
(07:00):
because you already achievedthose results. Right? Yeah. But
if they do, right, you learn tobe powerful and walk right
through them. Because Gremlinsare not powerful at all. Yeah.
Unless
Ali Taylor (07:14):
you throw water on them. And then they just
multiply. Yeah, they melt. Theymelt. I know there's a lot of
people born after the 80s whowere like, What the hell are you
guys talking? Oh, no, they
Kim Groshek (07:27):
get they get it?
They get it? Because my daughterwas born in 89. And she totally
gets it. Nice. Nice. That'sawesome.
Ali Taylor (07:37):
Yeah, so I mean, you know, that is, so when you take
the time to do all that work? Isthat how you got to the process
of creating this whole pausepowered philosophy? How did you
get there?
Kim Groshek (07:50):
Okay, so first of all, let me go back to why why I
have these skill sets to beginwith, and then we'll go into the
past. Okay, I attribute mymethods that I learned from my
mother, my mother taught me thiswhen I was very little. And I
built on that in all of thethings that I've done. I sharpen
my toolset. So I give her shegave me that gift. And I say
(08:14):
that to her all the time becauseshe does in your 80s you end up
beating yourself up looking backand thinking you didn't do
something right. We do this toourselves. Yeah. And I just want
to tell the world that my motherwas the one that gave me this
gift, what are the gifts. So thesecond thing is relating to the
pauses the whole story aroundthis, but this has to do with my
(08:37):
dad. Everything is based onfamily. For me, my legacy is for
my daughter, everything that Ido is for my home, my husband
and you know, you name it. Butwhen I didn't realize this, I
mean, I say it later, but when Iwas younger, probably about five
years old. My dad was a computerscience computer operator.
(08:58):
That's what they called it backthen. Back then there were
gigantic room, you know, roomsof computers. And then in the
middle of them, they had thesekeyboards and I used to go with
my mom and my sisters and mybrother to work with my dad. And
we'd sit on the keyboards andwe'd type and we see the little
punch cards or IBM cards comingthrough. Right. And I was
(09:19):
fascinated that my mom who was areally fast typist, could type
fast number one and then shecould make Christmas trees out
of those digits. I don't knowhow she did it. I just tried and
tried to disconnect the Rubik'sCube. I never could get that to
work. Anyway, it turned out thatI transitioned into being a
computer scientist as a trade.
Of course, I got an educationdegree. I was supposed to be
(09:41):
passionate, I did all kinds ofcrazy things. But that made me
who I am today from being ableto walk those different walks
those different paths, right.
But I through my process of allthe education I had and the PhDs
or whatever you have, right i Icame around to about it was
(10:04):
about 10 years ago, when I madea prediction that we were going
to be where we are today withthe devices driving in the bus
driver seat, and we will be inthe backseat, I've made that
prediction, I knew it washappening. But halfway through,
I was an early adopter of socialmedia, the first adopter because
it was teaching at theuniversity part time while I was
working, right. And all youknow, only universities are
(10:26):
certain or universities thatcould not get access to social
media. And I knew already thatas I was applying the social
media methodology in my life,that it could be addictive. And
so about 10 years ago, I foundmyself like, it was like a,
you're outside watchingyourself, do this stuff. And
then you come back to some, youknow, subjectively, objectively
(10:48):
severe, always back and forthwith yourself. And there were
mornings where I'd wake up, andI would get on the, you know,
into social media, because myfamily's in there. And that,
Brian, all these differentthings. And I got, it was all
consuming. And pretty soon, fourhours later, I'm still in there.
So I said enough is enough. AndI disconnected, deactivated my
(11:12):
account for six months. And Ithought this for a year, I
called them and said done, we'reout. And I told my husband, I'll
use your phone for what ifpeople need to call me they can
call me. i Yes, I I mean, I workfor these large companies. So I
work from home when remotewasn't, it was a not many missed
(11:33):
Oh, right. And so I you know, Iknew I still could communicate
this way. But that was it. And Idid that for a whole year. And
that became the pause later Ilabeled it pause later. I then
filled it with I love to write,so I would get up in the
(11:54):
morning. And I would meditateand I would write for 15
minutes. And pretty soon thewriting turned into an hour I
started compiling my journalsand poetry that I'd write each
day into a weak thing. And I'dsend it out to my friends pretty
soon I had to under people wantto get they did reach out to me
say I want your emails, I justsent an email, I didn't do that.
(12:16):
And that all accumulated then Istarted setting goals to you
know, I could swim but I gotinto a master swim because I
wanted to do an Ironman, youknow all these things that
started to like I got more timeback. So fast forward until just
it was only a year and a halfago, when I retired from the
(12:39):
industry after 35 years, I wasasked by Cornell University to
apply for the TEDx stage, right?
And I'm not going to go out onstage, you know, me, you and I,
I want to learn and do it right?
On stage. get me wrong. I'vespoken on many stages, but TEDx
is are different. And so I gotinto a program, a thought leader
(13:02):
program that taught you how toget to that little nugget that
we just talked about to an nthdegree nugget on TEDx. Right.
It's very specific. And it tookme about six months to practice
different ideas, because I know10 million ideas, you know. And
it turned out that that littlestories I just shared with you.
(13:24):
And then the impact of I justneeded to take a pause was what
came up. And everyone it waslike a you know, what do you
call it as pindrop? Moment?
Yeah. Or like Trump moment?
Yeah, yeah. Because I was. I'm acomputer scientist. And here I
am working in companies puttingthe infrastructure and the
people in place. And now I'msaying stop using it. Now, I'm
(13:48):
not saying stop entirely. I'msaying yes, there's a balance.
But what's happening, it's tothe extreme now where people are
losing losing their mind, loot,and people are committing
suicide. And I'm not. I mean,that's what happened in June
when I said that enough isenough. And that's when I hit
the ground and said, I gotta getsome pause challenge in place. I
(14:09):
gotta get this stuff moving.
Because what if we got a pause?
And imbalance
Ali Taylor (14:17):
now we're at such an imbalance with the level of
engagement with our technologyand the loneliness epidemic and
the impact on you know, many ofthe relationships, the
parasocial relationships that wehave our, you know, being
interrupted by this device andsocial media. And so it's
interesting that you saw thatcoming. So early on, even even
(14:41):
at the very nascent stages ofsocial media being built before
it was even released to them.
You know, I think beforeFacebook was even released to
the public, you saw that
Kim Groshek (14:49):
I did. In fact, it was funny because we went to
Belize around that time, and Iactually stopped working for
companies for a bit. I said, I'mgonna take a break, because I
had my own company I coulddecide went to went to work or
not. And I was talking to these,this older couple because what I
did was I started reading kidsbooks on the little bits of
(15:09):
information about empoweringkids to get outside the dorm,
play, be creative, whatever,meet a friend and in person,
even though at that time, thedevices weren't even really
there yet. Yeah, but I createdthese books. And they were like
Dr. Seuss II, there were threeof them called bugs adventure
series. And then I did Nate, thedragon says bullying, because
(15:30):
bullying was like not beingaddressed. And it's all about
the people and not beingconscious of the heart of
someone, like people are justwalking all over everyone.
Right. And so then I was tellingthis, this older couple and
Billy's that it's a what do youdo it, you know, and I said,
Well, I'm, I want to get thisout there because I want to give
(15:50):
the kids power back. Because noone's not saying parent parents
are doing the best they can. ButI think they're relying on
teaching the kids throughtechnology so much that they're
missing out on the fact thatthey're, the kids aren't
skinning their knees and gettingback up and learning the mistake
that they made by skin fallingdown, because they were doing
whatever
Ali Taylor (16:10):
parents are also they're just sort of passing on
the same programming that theygot, right, then, you know, grew
up with sort of the socialmedia, but also like the, you
know, I think about Ted Turnerand starting a whole CNN and 24
Hour News Channel. And thatbeing something that just
dominated our attention span,and then a different version of
it being with the technologythat got created, and then chat
(16:32):
rooms. And so it's just thetechnology is just exacerbating
and speeding up, sort of thoseworst instincts. And so yeah,
the parents are just passing onthe same negative programming
that they got to their own.
Kim Groshek (16:46):
And it's not just about the parents. So here's the
thing, I woke up one day about aweek ago, and my husband likes
to listen to on Sunday morningnews, or whatever. And I heard
heard someone talking on thetelephone, television, I didn't
know I heard someone talking.
And I said, that can't be aperson. Because there was a
little bit of a little a littlebit of right. And then I went in
and sure enough, it was it was aperson talking on television. So
(17:08):
here's the thing, the pause, youknow, we're talking so fast,
because the technology is isit's like we're trying to keep
up with technology. So we'relearning these behaviors and how
we speak. And then so the pausehelps us then also when we
speak, slow down so that you andI can communicate each other and
(17:29):
understand each other. And youcan catch up to me and I can
catch up to you.
Ali Taylor (17:35):
Yeah. Yeah, it's, well, now I'm just going to be
very conscious of how fast I'mspeaking in the rest of this
conversation moving forward.
Kim Groshek (17:46):
Yeah, yeah. And even taking even taking the
pause in between, it getsuncomfortable for people. And
when we practice the pause,there were you know, there's a
group of 15 of us that werepracticing back in October. And
there were many people that justcouldn't fathom, either fitting
(18:06):
the pause in because I'm toobusy. Yep. Or how do I pause?
What do and that's sometimes Iin fact, that was an interview
yesterday, and they're saying,what do you do when you pause?
Well, there's so many differentthings. Pause. It's just really
a way to remind yourself topause on whatever it is you to
breathe, you can pause to getaway from the chaos. Pause to
(18:31):
speak, right. Yeah, it's allit's an it just it's a reminder
to remind our word, right?
Ali Taylor (18:38):
Yeah, it's the the power of being present. Yes, is
really, you know, for me, when Ihear the pause being all about,
I can actually be present inthis moment. I'm not filling
this space, or filling anysilence spaces with
conversation, because I'mthinking about what's going on
in my head and trying to make agood impression, or, you know,
(19:02):
is this person you know, what'sgoing on with this person, that
they're not saying anything, Ithink so much. Just the social
skills that we have, as asociety, it's sort of degraded,
because people aren't willing tojust take that moment to just be
with themselves. Yeah, I mean,even with with scrolling on
social media, you know, even ifyou're not doing anything else,
(19:26):
you're not with another humanbeing, we think that Well, I'm
just gonna veg out you know, hada really hard day at work, or I
need to, you know, some time toget away, but then you're just
sitting on this device, andyou're not giving your own
thoughts. You're not even beingpresent with yourself inside of
that pause. So, yeah,
Kim Groshek (19:43):
I mean, I was just, I was just watching a video of
this old man who is actuallymimicking a young child coming
home from school, and the thingsthat the little child did, and
the first thing the little childdid was came home and went to
bed went to his bed, his bed wasa man and covered up and then
(20:03):
took his nap. And then he got hewent looked and then you Oh, oh,
I gotta go get my snack now. Sothen he went and got a snack and
this old man, I mean, it's like,and they were making fun of it.
Yeah, but it's reality.
Ali Taylor (20:16):
Yeah.
Kim Groshek (20:18):
I mean that when I got home from school that I
didn't go to bed when I was achild, no, there's a difference,
right
Ali Taylor (20:24):
chores, homework, you know?
Kim Groshek (20:28):
Alright. So I mean, you know, I'm not saying I'm
just saying that. It's a no,now, it was a normal thing back
then to just go home, do thechores, do the homework, go play
with the friends out andoutdoors, because we'd always
have our neighbor friends weplay with. And now it has to be
a conscious effort because weare doing these different
(20:50):
things. That's all it is.
Ali Taylor (20:53):
Yeah, I feel like so much of life requires
intentionality. Now, becausethere's so much that is
competing for our time, ourattention every hour. I mean,
you hear it now, especially onmarketing and social media
channels, where it's like, welive in an intention, economy,
right, everything is all aboutgetting squeezing out every
(21:14):
ounce of attention that they canget out of you. So yeah, to
pause,
Kim Groshek (21:21):
the pause, that's that's a whole element behind
pause. So there's your answer. Imean, truly, that is what it is.
And when I'm out on stage, orI'm out just talking to an
individual, I hope to leaveevery conversation to say, you
know, not to say but that theyare taking pause with them and
(21:42):
practicing it. Yeah, whateverworks for them in their lives,
to empower them to be free.
Right.
Ali Taylor (21:49):
Yeah, absolutely. So what are some results that you
know, when you work with,whether it's individual clients
or corporate clients, you know,in that atmosphere? What are
some of the results that peoplehave gotten from implementing
your paws method? Well, I'll,
Kim Groshek (22:06):
there's different types of results. I'll give you
one client example for 90 days.
There was a she basically was inbed, and and every time she'd
get up, she'd be drinkingalcohol. She had a lot of going
on, right? So she I helped herput structures in her plate in
her day where she had, I thinkit was there's some kind of
(22:30):
meditation seven days, seven,seven step thing, I can't
remember the name of it, thatshe selected, everyone's like
something different. So she, shedid it every morning, and two to
15 minute buckets for herself,because it took 15 to 30
minutes. She applied that, andthen she started to apply
exercise in her life. And thenwhat there are all kinds of
(22:53):
things that she did, but thenwhat the results of it, she was
very happy, right? She lost in90 days, 65 pounds, and got a
whole new job where she totallydifferent job. And she was with
a partner were of 20 yearsliving separated, but a partner,
(23:14):
they never got married, right,which is fine. I mean, whatever.
She moved in with him, I gotmarried. I mean, her whole life
just shifted. And it all had todo with you know, that, you
know, just moving forward andfocusing and putting the right
structures and clearing out thatplate and getting, you know,
getting streamlined. Yeah.
Ali Taylor (23:38):
Wow. That's, that's incredible. Yeah, yeah. Wow. And
then I'm sorry, good. No, I'mgood. Yeah, so for, you know,
for a corporate client forbecause we know, like the
workplace is. Obviously thepandemic was was such a massive
(24:03):
disruption to how people wereused to doing business, how, you
know, companies were used tosort of operating and now you
know, we have to work from home,and then there's the push for
people to come back to theoffice. So in that regard, how
can the pause the power of thepause, make a difference in
their in terms of companyculture, and then those results?
(24:27):
Yep.
Kim Groshek (24:28):
So I have been working with different
organizations in departmentsspecific departments right now.
And there is a lot of hours ongoing on right where you're
either if you're hybrid, right,where you're partially in the
office and partially out. That'stypically a lot of the
companies. It's hard to move allthe way back, but many are fully
(24:50):
remote and they never went backto the hybrid. And they, you
know, you go from meeting tomeeting to Meeting at the top of
the hour, and many of them havenow implemented a 15 minute
break in between pause inbetween meetings as a policy, or
(25:12):
not a policy because you can'tput that kind of policy in
place, they actually implementit as a kind of a soft process
for themselves. And the reasonwhy they're doing it too, and
they're seeing such benefit isthat they were struggling with
not being able to catch upemotionally. There were many
times when you know how it ischaotic? Yeah. And there are
(25:33):
times when people are not veryhappy, or there could be some
anger, anger, things happeningor anxiety. There's a lot of
things going on in thesemeetings that no one really
knows what's going on, right? Imean, I do because I was there
you do, you were there. But youknow, they go from this real
chaotic meeting to another onewithout being able to actually
(25:55):
write in your body is thentaking that all in, and then
getting sick, you'll see you'reseeing a lot of that or you're
seeing people with heart attacksor strokes or things are
happening, right, especially atthe higher the C suites because
they're not they're alwaysfeeling like their angst or so
many pressures politically,right. So that's one of the
(26:15):
things that they've beenimplementing and trying on, it's
working really well, as well assome are trying piloting out the
program around the challenge topause for five days, once a
month, each month.
Ali Taylor (26:30):
Say more about that.
So what what
Kim Groshek (26:33):
what I do is actually bring this into
companies, and then what they dois they promise, they actually
promised they have to sign anagreement, that they're going to
pause for 15 minutes a day, thatmay be whatever choice they do,
they can do five minuteincrements at the top of the
hour, or they can just do it,you know, it's really empowering
them to make that choice. Theydo it for five days. And then
(26:56):
you see this majortransformation. A lot of people
that have been applying it, saythey get time back just it's
this this time, and it's allabout mental time. Right? Yeah.
Because we aren't catching upmentally. So yeah, so you know,
they, and they run through it.
It's like a, you know, everymonth, they keep on
transforming, becoming moreconnected. And some of them in
(27:19):
the schools also are doing this,but in there actually
collaborating across department,you know, how we have issues
with silos? Oh, yeah. So theyare then able to do some
mentorship across the schoolgrades, when they do this, this
five day challenge. So it's
Ali Taylor (27:40):
pretty cool. Yeah, that's awesome. And it's, it
just aligns with, it's funny howso much of business, especially
with the corporate culture inthe last 20 years or so has
tried to circumvent or pushpast, just human biology, with I
(28:01):
remember reading a study a longtime ago that when it comes to
task switching, context,switching our brains or our
bodies need about 15 minutes, inorder to so like if you're doing
a task, and then you getinterrupted, it takes you about
15 minutes to get back to thepoint at which you got
(28:21):
interrupted,
Kim Groshek (28:22):
right. And that's why it's very critical to do
this 15 minute time box, becauseI've implemented this in
companies. And that's what madeone of my successes. By the way,
I've been doing this for 35years. And there were large
companies that would come inthat tried to do these
transformations, and they end upbeing siloed. So then they'd
bring me in, yeah, and implementit. And I'd have leaders of
(28:43):
about 150 leaders across theglobe, with gigantic teams. And
how I did it was to break itdown into these increments to
get the agreements. Because youwe all have a short attention
span, we can't take big chunkslike this and try to get
something done in six months,you down into little pieces. But
(29:03):
it wasn't in a plan at all. Itwas all about human interaction
about talking about what wewant, empowering what, you know,
empowering people, because ifyou do what you want, right,
that comes from your values andyour heart. Yeah. And then it
drives you to do what you wantto do and get it done. Yeah.
Ali Taylor (29:23):
Yeah, that's fantastic. It's such a needed
and needed thing, especially inthese in this time and age where
it's so much it's just trying tobe about being productive and
produce produce produce in thissociety. And, you know, like I
said, before, that attentioneconomy trying to extract as
much attention as possible inorder to get as much
(29:44):
productivity as possible. It'slike such a, such a clash
against the way that we're justphysically designed and meant to
operate. Right. Yeah. So acouple questions here. In terms
of So what like, what do you seenext? How else do you see this
(30:05):
being implemented?
Kim Groshek (30:07):
How else do I see this being implemented?
Everyone? Well, I see thateveryone's going to take it and
design it the way they want andimplemented the way they want.
I've seen people, I already seepeople applying it, and you're
hearing people say, let's take apause for a moment. You're
hearing it on the media. Yeah,there are really intentional
things that I do that I thinkwhat's next everyone could do.
(30:30):
And that is I actually don'tturn on the TV at all. Yeah. And
yeah, I mean, it really isbecause it's, it's, it's, it's
like there is there is a trackaround that. I mean, it's one
it's it's only one by it's notunidirectional, or whatever.
It's one way. Yeah, or whatever.
And there are so many differentways to look at things. And
(30:55):
we're losing out on all those somany different ways, because
we're just looking at that whenwhen, you know, screen. And
that's, you know, the phones andeverything. I mean, it's
everything, right? That's ascreen. It's it's not three
dimensional, right? And it'smore than three dimensional. The
universe is more than threedimensional. Yes, yeah. Okay. So
we as humans are part of thatdimension. And we're losing
(31:19):
that. So I'm saying that thepower comes from you, as an
individual. And you have achoice to pause, and practice a
pause that works for you indifferent ways, because there's
so many different ways you canuse it. And that is, what's next
is you take it and you run withit. And using it the way it
(31:41):
works for you and your life.
Ali Taylor (31:46):
Yeah, I love that. I love that you include that part
about like, it's a choice,right? Like, over being
overwhelmed is a choice. Yeah, Imean, it might be a radical
choice, especially in this dayand age where so much is about
hijacking your attention. Butyeah, it is. It's a choice to be
(32:06):
overwhelmed.
Kim Groshek (32:07):
Yeah, I mean, I am an artist. I don't know, the
timing on this. Hopefully, I canspeak a little more. Yeah, we
got plenty of time. I'm anartist. And there was a series
that I did where I called thestorm, the storm. And, you know,
I see myself many times if youif you want to call it or
(32:28):
tornado, right? I'm walkingthrough that step by step.
Because I'm intentionallywalking, and I'm intentionally
taking a step by step as thestorm is happening around me and
I have all these paintingsaround storm, and how I look in
it. Yeah. And I don'tnecessarily know if everyone is
(32:50):
doing that. I don't know. Ican't say yes or no, I don't. I
can say that. That's what I do.
Yeah. And it isn't always easybeing in that space. And
sometimes I even say, I'm in ablack hole at times, because
there is the emotion part of itthat we have to live in. And I
think even that we're avoiding,and if we don't settle in our
emotions, even just for asecond, we're losing out on who
(33:12):
we are. Because you know, all ofthose emotions are a part of
experiencing life. Right? Yeah,well, that is such a critical
element. And when you ask, youknow, when you had mentioned,
introduce me in the beginning,and said that I was probably the
most productive person thatyou've met, that's how I do it,
(33:32):
it's I each little minor step Itake, right, and I stop and let
my foot position. And if it'sthat I have to take my shoe off
and walk barefoot for a moment,I do and hold the shoe and be
caught intentionally aboutholding the shoe, and then
putting the shoe back on andthen tie my shoe as I go. So
(33:54):
that I'm not losing out on thethings that I need to really
experience and learn. Becausemany times we find ourselves in
these always doing the samething over and over and over
again. And part of what I teachand I see in people is I help
them go into those spaces thatthey keep stepping over that
(34:17):
make them keep going like this.
No longer do this anymore. Yeah,
Ali Taylor (34:25):
instead of being stuck on a hamster wheel, it's,
first of all, recognize thatyou're on the hamster wheel, and
then make an intentional andconscious choice to do something
different to step off. Right?
Yeah, so maybe it's not a matterof that you're, you are one of
the most productive people butthat comes from the
intentionality and the effectedeffectiveness of the actions
(34:47):
that you take. Because you'renot just doing this swirl of
activity of like, oh, let me bebusy for the sake of being busy.
Right. Like we were saying withthe conversation in terms of
people Not being comfortablewith the silence. It's like,
well, let me say somethingbecause it's uncomfortable for
me to not say something. It'salso the same thing in terms of
(35:07):
our actions where it's like,well, let me do something
because it's not comfortable forme to not do something.
Kim Groshek (35:14):
Yeah, well, here, here's the thing. We every my
husband and I are veryintentional, intentional,
intentional about going onvacation. And what we do is, we
leave our phones at home for theseven days that we may go on a
bike trip along with Michigan,for instance. And we set that
(35:36):
intention upfront. And if andsometimes I don't follow it in
the beginning. And he'll pull measide and said, if you pull up
on out, we're going home?
Because we made an agreement.
Yes. Not that he's like that.
But what I'm saying is, this isbecause I do get into it.
Because I'm a computerscientist. This is like a
creative thing. I've done it foryears. Right? And I was my first
(35:56):
computer was a zeal. So I thinkwe're, I was talking to someone
else. And I used to do Das, andall those things that people
don't do anymore, right.
Ali Taylor (36:06):
Anything I've heard of that brand before, the oldest
one I had was a gateway.
Kim Groshek (36:12):
But yeah, so we do.
And then people ask me, How doyou do that? Well, we did it
when I was growing up. We didn'thave to have the phone with us.
And here's the thing, you justput your emergency structure in
place, my daughter knows, youknow, I can call if I need to
through this other line, if Ineed to. Or she can reach us if
there's an emergency that sheneeds to right. So the emergency
(36:33):
line, you always set that up.
Yeah. Before these were inplace. So it and I even as as
what I did for after I pausedand you know, 10 years ago, I
actually didn't. While I waspausing that whole year, I
didn't have the phone. Peoplecouldn't believe that I was
(36:54):
still working remote andtraveling without a phone. And I
could you can.
Ali Taylor (37:00):
I know. It's like just boggles their mind.
Kim Groshek (37:02):
I know. It's just it's a it's a practice,
proactive practice. But again,you hear the process is the
same. It's a timebox processwhere we both set, we're doing a
seven day trip, we're gonna dobike trip all the way from south
of Michigan all the way up. Andwe are going to not have our
phones. And we both agree. Yes.
And we make each otheraccountable for the Yes. Right?
(37:25):
Because there are times right.
And we do it. And it you know,it's not that's not the only
thing we you know, we do manythings like yeah, I went on a
bike ride yesterday with myhusband, and we were riding and
I did not take my my phonebecause I I just didn't. And you
(37:46):
know, halfway through, we sawsomeone's two people sitting on
a bench taking a break and guesswhat they're doing on their
phones sitting in their phones,and it's like you're out in
nature. You're looking at lefty,the alligator, go look at that,
do the alligator rolling upthere are missing out, right?
Yeah.
Ali Taylor (38:05):
You know, what you just said about the one just the
level of relationship that youhave with your husband? I think
a lot of people say that that'swhat they want. But they're not
willing to put in the work toactually do that. Like, oh,
wait, hold on, I got to be withmy partner, and not have my
phone with me not have thatoutside line. It's like, oh,
(38:26):
yeah, that's the person that youchose to, to marry and be in
relationship with, like, be withthat person when you're with
that person. And not the, youknow, 500 or 800, Facebook
friends or Instagram followersthat you have, like be connected
with the person that's in frontof you. So it's such an
important lesson there. And I, Iwould imagine that your
relationship with your husbandis so much stronger, so much
(38:48):
richer and more generous betweenthe two because you have those
agreements, and you take thattime intentionally to spend with
one another. Yeah,
Kim Groshek (38:57):
I mean, I talk a lot about transitions in
relationships. And it's notalways easy and pausing in your
relationship. And then havingthe conversations is very, very
critical. Especially duringthose major times like when
you're going to retire which arereally difficult. Empty Nest,
empty nest when your kids leave.
You are like this because yourkids, your kids were in between.
(39:18):
I don't mean that not I don'tknow how else to explain it. But
your kids here that's what'sforming you to keep moving. You
each have your own identities inyour careers or whatever you're
doing. And then all of a suddenyour kids are gone. There's this
like, Oh, now what are we goingto do? Well, that takes not I
don't know if it's work, butwhat it is, is the Congress
(39:40):
effort, effort. It's theconversations to have to bring
you back together and I will sayit's it's ebbing and flowing
right because it's always likethis in human friendship, and
human relationships. I've got alot of different friends that it
ebbs and flows. I have a friendwho have 40 years that we're,
she's doing this way over here,and I'm doing this way over
(40:03):
here, but we still are alwaystrying to do this. And it's, you
know, it is a conscious effortto reach out and just talk and
have a conversation. You know,it is about I do believe it's
about communication andarticulation. And I think
they're missing in because ofFacebook, or social media,
whatever we want to call it,right? Is all different
(40:25):
platforms. But that is a Yeah, Ican I can look. And I can
converse one directional, but ifyou're talking, I'm gonna go
have coffee, like you and I aretalking right now. Coffee, and
or whatever you're drinking, Idon't know, I'm drinking coffee.
You know, and we're, we're,we're connecting, and you're
(40:50):
agreeing and disagreeing. AndI'm agreeing and doesn't we're
having intentional focus andconversation, we're getting to
know each other better. And now,you know, it's all about that,
right?
Ali Taylor (41:02):
Yeah. Yeah, and so many people don't know how to do
that without a phone in theirhand or without social media.
Like, I have friends that Ilike, we our primary form of
communication is just sendingmemes, and Instagram reels or
tic TOCs back and forth. Youknow, but for, but the best
versions of those types offriendships are ones where we've
(41:24):
spent time face to face, we'vegone through those hard moments,
those transitions where we'vebeen able to just connect eye to
eye, and I feel like so manypeople today, it's like, you
know, something, some littlething happens in that
relationship. And then there'sjust a break, and there's no
repairing of that relationship,because we've had relied on this
(41:45):
the whole time.
Kim Groshek (41:46):
Well, I think that part yeah, like I think your
mind, it's like pivoting, whichis part of the shift that I also
talked about. And the pivotingdoesn't happen. So when we're
talking and coming back to thatconversation about just to
relate it to what we're talkingabout with the time box, is
(42:06):
there are times when thingsdon't work the way you think.
And there's a pivot that happensin the pivot is looking back,
making a forgiveness effort andthen saying, Oh, maybe I don't
do that. Again. I do itdifferent next time. That's
right. And in the conversationsthe same way at the articulation
of that. So this morning, myhusband and I were talking about
(42:27):
we listened to this this morningshow, and they were talking
about this app, because they'resaying, Well, you know, my wife
writes down a list, right? Yeah,we'll put it in the right order.
Because when I go to the grocerystore, you should put it in the
order of the way you go throughthe grocery store, which was
really kind of fun to listen to.
And my husband was laughingbecause he's this he's like,
yeah, that's how it is, youknow, I mean, he's he likes to
(42:49):
follow the grocery store thing.
And then they mentioned this appthat you can put your list in,
and then it puts it in the rightorder, operate between the those
pulses. And I said, Oh, I'mgonna download that app. And
then I thought, but we have apretty nice system because we
talk about it. He knows I liketo have my peanut m&ms.
(43:14):
Shopping. And he said, I don'tyou don't even need to put
peanut m&ms in there. Because Ialready know that you see what
I'm saying. But if you'remissing out on the that the fun
that we have, when he'll he'llcome to me and say, I'm going to
the store. What would you like,Would you do need anything?
Would you like to? I mean,that's a conversation you're
missing out on when you put itin an app. Right? Yeah.
Ali Taylor (43:37):
texter. Yeah, yeah,
Kim Groshek (43:39):
yeah. And you make that decision. And that Texas, I
mean, it's, it's just the wholepoint that you now lost that
mode of communication by havingthe app and you no longer know
he, he's in the bedroom, and I'min the kitchen. And now we're
not even talking? Yeah. Thisway, he comes to me and says,
I'm going to the store. Did youwant some peanut m&ms? Or
(44:03):
something? Whatever it is? Or doyou need something? He's talking
to me? You see the difference?
Yeah. So that's I think, eachtime a new app comes out, it's
an intentional decision. Whetherto use it, I choose not to use
those kinds of things with himbecause I want to have the
conversation with him becauseit's important for me to, to
stay connected to them. Yeah.
(44:27):
Right. Yeah.
Ali Taylor (44:29):
And that's, that's really important in the same way
that like, you know, a marriageis a partnership. You know, the
company that you work for, thatis a partnership, even if, you
know, I know that sometimes theimbalance of power is there, but
it's still as a partnership,right? They're required the the
labor and the effort of theemployees in the corporation.
(44:50):
They're expecting the leadershipof the management and the
direction that they'reproviding. So there's that
partnership there. And I justthink what's really powerful
about the pause is there's therelationship that we have with
ourselves, and being intentionalabout how we connect with
ourselves so that we can beintentional in how we connect
with others.
Kim Groshek (45:09):
Yes, that's a that's big, because here's the
thing. I coach C suiteexecutives, the C suite
executives are typicallythinking the employees are doing
or wanting to do with theirsleaning. Yeah, many times
there's a disconnect, andsomewhere along the line, and
(45:30):
the thing that I teach C suiteexecutives specifically, is the
pause first. Yeah. Because thereare many times they're standing
in front of the whole 1000people, right, the whole
whatever they do, and theyaren't taking a pause to hear
the audience to hear theiremployees. Right. And they
(45:54):
employees aren't hearing arefeeling not heard. Yeah. So
that's critical. Yeah, yeah.
Ali Taylor (46:02):
All right. Well, we're just about at the end of
our time, so I'd like you tosort of wrap it up. Just what's
one piece of wisdom that you'dlike to share in part before we
go,
Kim Groshek (46:16):
guess what, I encourage each of you to just
practice a pause for at least 15minutes a day. And then let me
know how it goes. I have anewsletter that you can sign up
for. Reach out to me and I'll beglad to connect with you and
(46:37):
support you in you know if itworks for you and your
community. And, yeah, justpractice, pause, practice
applause. Love that.
Ali Taylor (46:48):
Well, Kim, thank you so much for being here today.
Taking time out of your day toshare your experience and your
wisdom with us so many goldennuggets. It's gonna be hard to
choose which one the posts forFriday. But yeah, this is great,
great conversation. Thank youfor being here. And I will see
everyone next week with my nextguest.
All right. Hello, hello, welcome to Wednesday
wisdom series Live. My name isAli Taylor, I am the founder and
consultant and wisdom and wayfinder. This series is all about
if you unless you've discoveredthe secret to everlasting life,
you don't have enough time tolearn everything there is about
(00:40):
running, growing and scaling abusiness on your own. And so
that's why I've launched aseries where experienced
professionals will share theirwisdom so that you can save some
time and get further ahead thanyou would on your own. And I am
excited to have Kim Groesbeckhere with me today. Kim is a
(01:00):
seasoned business professionalwith over 35 years of experience
working with different fortune100 companies like Kraft, GE,
New York University, UW Madison.
She is also a registered yogateacher with yoga Alliance. And
in her corporate background, sheis known for her work in
promoting digital detox andmindfulness offering a
philosophy called pause power tohelp individuals thrive in the
(01:22):
digital age. And her mission isto make life easier for people
by empowering them througheffective time management
techniques and restoring balancein their life. Thank you for
being here today. Kim,
Kim Groshek (01:34):
thank you for having me ally. Of course,
Ali Taylor (01:37):
of course, you are.
Even though your whole thing isabout the pause power, you are
one of the most productivepeople, human beings that I've
ever met at any time in my life.
How do you like, just give me aquick picture of your day? Like
how do you get started? How doyou make it all happen? Yeah,
Kim Groshek (01:58):
so I use a methodology called the time box,
which is something that Ilabeled, but it's very similar
to the Pareto method. And Ireally plan out my year, my
weeks, and then my days, and I'mproactively looking at that
ahead of time. And my time boxis really specific to a 15
(02:19):
minute increment, which is alittle bit different than a lot
of the methods out there. And italso contains some soft skills
in it. And when within it, it isthat you actually get results
when you get done with being inthe box. So that being said,
when you first come in, youdecide what you're going to do
(02:40):
in the smallest little bitlittle bit of information, which
is like my podcast, right? It'sall about the minor little
things that you can really focuson. Yeah, then you can actually
accomplish within that 15minutes, so that you see
results. But then you have toagree that you're going to do
it. That's the big thing.
Because I think sometimes whenwe say we're going to drink
(03:03):
eight glasses of water a day,for instance, and we don't
usually do that, we get up inthe morning, and then we really
didn't say we say it, but wedidn't really agree. So then
what happens is we don't reallyfollow through with it. Yeah,
right. So within the 15 Minuteincrement, first of all, it
gives you a space and time,that's small enough that you can
(03:24):
then go through the processwithin the 15 minutes, get the
results. But if you don'tachieve the results, there's
another element calledforgiveness. Or you look back,
you know, like you do forproject management, where you do
lessons learned in somerespects, but looking back, and
then saying that you forgiveyourself for maybe not, you
(03:46):
know, maybe, you know, it'sbecause we're so hard on
ourselves, right? So it's likejust releasing forgiveness,
right? And then it is lookingback and learning because we may
have chunked it out too big.
Then there's this learningprocess in it, but it's a very
small, very small, and it thenhelps you get it off your plate,
(04:08):
which I call French wine,because we all and I would say
like we're living in likeCharlie Brown, right? I'm Pigpen
with the dirt around me all thetime. You know, yeah. And it's
kind of like just Okay, so we'regonna finish Wha, which means
that's when I say, clearing out,get to the focus, get the two
(04:30):
nuggets done. Now you have twonuggets off your plate, right,
then Shuang and you're gettingfocused and all of a sudden you
feel more streamline and you'llhear people say when they work
with me. I feel streamlined andmore focused now. Yeah. So
that's what I do. But my day isreally, I mean, I can tell you
all the different things that Ido during the day but it's about
(04:51):
that design, and then the nightbefore or the day before
depending upon what I'm doingand what piece of the puzzle.
I'll look at tomorrow. Like, forinstance, when I'm doing
conversations, you and I bothhave a lot of conversations and
networking that we do. The planis to have conversations, but
then there's a target in theend. So the day before I look at
(05:13):
what is my, you know, theconversation, but what's the
target, which is the results?
Ali Taylor (05:18):
Yeah. Yeah, I like that. Right. Like, I like the
fact that you're looking ahead,right, taking the time, first of
all, just taking the time thenight before, to set yourself up
for success for tomorrow, butthen planning out those
conversations, and really whatit is that you want the end
result to be, I feel like a lotof people just kind of wake up
and you know, first of all, theydon't, they don't make those
(05:42):
agreements about what it isthey're going to commit to what
they're going to actuallyaccomplish. And then they spend
all day just beating themselvesup like, Oh, crap, I didn't,
didn't do that. I said I wasgoing to do in the morning. And
so that takes precious energyaway from the rest of the day.
You've got it set up that one,you you strategize and you plan
your success for the day before,and then what do you want those
(06:05):
outcome of those conversationsto be? Whereas I feel like most
people are just kind ofstumbling along and why No, I
need to call this person but Idon't know why I need to call
them. Right. And I need to getout of that conversation. Yeah,
and
Kim Groshek (06:17):
here's the thing when you you just made a big
point about the fact that youbeat yourself up. So the whole
point is, I label things right.
I have written I read chaptersin books, you know, colabs and
stuff. And there was one chapterthat I wrote about Gremlins in
your head, right. So we canchoose right as Gremlins because
Gremlins are always like aroundus right in our stories that we
can either let within ourselvesor not. And the Gremlins show up
(06:38):
and they're either positive, youknow, that whole positive
negative thing that happens?
Yeah, those Gremlins around us,right, we can walk right through
the gremlins. So first of all,when you say that, you know, we
beat ourselves up, those are theGremlins that are happening that
are coming at us. But thoseGremlins wouldn't even happen
(07:00):
because you already achievedthose results. Right? Yeah. But
if they do, right, you learn tobe powerful and walk right
through them. Because Gremlinsare not powerful at all. Yeah.
Unless
Ali Taylor (07:14):
you throw water on them. And then they just
multiply. Yeah, they melt. Theymelt. I know there's a lot of
people born after the 80s whowere like, What the hell are you
guys talking? Oh, no, they
Kim Groshek (07:27):
get they get it?
They get it? Because my daughterwas born in 89. And she totally
gets it. Nice. Nice. That'sawesome.
Ali Taylor (07:37):
Yeah, so I mean, you know, that is, so when you take
the time to do all that work? Isthat how you got to the process
of creating this whole pausepowered philosophy? How did you
get there?
Kim Groshek (07:50):
Okay, so first of all, let me go back to why why I
have these skill sets to beginwith, and then we'll go into the
past. Okay, I attribute mymethods that I learned from my
mother, my mother taught me thiswhen I was very little. And I
built on that in all of thethings that I've done. I sharpen
my toolset. So I give her shegave me that gift. And I say
(08:14):
that to her all the time becauseshe does in your 80s you end up
beating yourself up looking backand thinking you didn't do
something right. We do this toourselves. Yeah. And I just want
to tell the world that my motherwas the one that gave me this
gift, what are the gifts. So thesecond thing is relating to the
pauses the whole story aroundthis, but this has to do with my
(08:37):
dad. Everything is based onfamily. For me, my legacy is for
my daughter, everything that Ido is for my home, my husband
and you know, you name it. Butwhen I didn't realize this, I
mean, I say it later, but when Iwas younger, probably about five
years old. My dad was a computerscience computer operator.
(08:58):
That's what they called it backthen. Back then there were
gigantic room, you know, roomsof computers. And then in the
middle of them, they had thesekeyboards and I used to go with
my mom and my sisters and mybrother to work with my dad. And
we'd sit on the keyboards andwe'd type and we see the little
punch cards or IBM cards comingthrough. Right. And I was
(09:19):
fascinated that my mom who was areally fast typist, could type
fast number one and then shecould make Christmas trees out
of those digits. I don't knowhow she did it. I just tried and
tried to disconnect the Rubik'sCube. I never could get that to
work. Anyway, it turned out thatI transitioned into being a
computer scientist as a trade.
Of course, I got an educationdegree. I was supposed to be
(09:41):
passionate, I did all kinds ofcrazy things. But that made me
who I am today from being ableto walk those different walks
those different paths, right.
But I through my process of allthe education I had and the PhDs
or whatever you have, right i Icame around to about it was
(10:04):
about 10 years ago, when I madea prediction that we were going
to be where we are today withthe devices driving in the bus
driver seat, and we will be inthe backseat, I've made that
prediction, I knew it washappening. But halfway through,
I was an early adopter of socialmedia, the first adopter because
it was teaching at theuniversity part time while I was
working, right. And all youknow, only universities are
(10:26):
certain or universities thatcould not get access to social
media. And I knew already thatas I was applying the social
media methodology in my life,that it could be addictive. And
so about 10 years ago, I foundmyself like, it was like a,
you're outside watchingyourself, do this stuff. And
then you come back to some, youknow, subjectively, objectively
(10:48):
severe, always back and forthwith yourself. And there were
mornings where I'd wake up, andI would get on the, you know,
into social media, because myfamily's in there. And that,
Brian, all these differentthings. And I got, it was all
consuming. And pretty soon, fourhours later, I'm still in there.
So I said enough is enough. AndI disconnected, deactivated my
(11:12):
account for six months. And Ithought this for a year, I
called them and said done, we'reout. And I told my husband, I'll
use your phone for what ifpeople need to call me they can
call me. i Yes, I I mean, I workfor these large companies. So I
work from home when remotewasn't, it was a not many missed
(11:33):
Oh, right. And so I you know, Iknew I still could communicate
this way. But that was it. And Idid that for a whole year. And
that became the pause later Ilabeled it pause later. I then
filled it with I love to write,so I would get up in the
(11:54):
morning. And I would meditateand I would write for 15
minutes. And pretty soon thewriting turned into an hour I
started compiling my journalsand poetry that I'd write each
day into a weak thing. And I'dsend it out to my friends pretty
soon I had to under people wantto get they did reach out to me
say I want your emails, I justsent an email, I didn't do that.
(12:16):
And that all accumulated then Istarted setting goals to you
know, I could swim but I gotinto a master swim because I
wanted to do an Ironman, youknow all these things that
started to like I got more timeback. So fast forward until just
it was only a year and a halfago, when I retired from the
(12:39):
industry after 35 years, I wasasked by Cornell University to
apply for the TEDx stage, right?
And I'm not going to go out onstage, you know, me, you and I,
I want to learn and do it right?
On stage. get me wrong. I'vespoken on many stages, but TEDx
is are different. And so I gotinto a program, a thought leader
(13:02):
program that taught you how toget to that little nugget that
we just talked about to an nthdegree nugget on TEDx. Right.
It's very specific. And it tookme about six months to practice
different ideas, because I know10 million ideas, you know. And
it turned out that that littlestories I just shared with you.
(13:24):
And then the impact of I justneeded to take a pause was what
came up. And everyone it waslike a you know, what do you
call it as pindrop? Moment?
Yeah. Or like Trump moment?
Yeah, yeah. Because I was. I'm acomputer scientist. And here I
am working in companies puttingthe infrastructure and the
people in place. And now I'msaying stop using it. Now, I'm
(13:48):
not saying stop entirely. I'msaying yes, there's a balance.
But what's happening, it's tothe extreme now where people are
losing losing their mind, loot,and people are committing
suicide. And I'm not. I mean,that's what happened in June
when I said that enough isenough. And that's when I hit
the ground and said, I gotta getsome pause challenge in place. I
(14:09):
gotta get this stuff moving.
Because what if we got a pause?
And imbalance
Ali Taylor (14:17):
now we're at such an imbalance with the level of
engagement with our technologyand the loneliness epidemic and
the impact on you know, many ofthe relationships, the
parasocial relationships that wehave our, you know, being
interrupted by this device andsocial media. And so it's
interesting that you saw thatcoming. So early on, even even
(14:41):
at the very nascent stages ofsocial media being built before
it was even released to them.
You know, I think beforeFacebook was even released to
the public, you saw that
Kim Groshek (14:49):
I did. In fact, it was funny because we went to
Belize around that time, and Iactually stopped working for
companies for a bit. I said, I'mgonna take a break, because I
had my own company I coulddecide went to went to work or
not. And I was talking to these,this older couple because what I
did was I started reading kidsbooks on the little bits of
(15:09):
information about empoweringkids to get outside the dorm,
play, be creative, whatever,meet a friend and in person,
even though at that time, thedevices weren't even really
there yet. Yeah, but I createdthese books. And they were like
Dr. Seuss II, there were threeof them called bugs adventure
series. And then I did Nate, thedragon says bullying, because
(15:30):
bullying was like not beingaddressed. And it's all about
the people and not beingconscious of the heart of
someone, like people are justwalking all over everyone.
Right. And so then I was tellingthis, this older couple and
Billy's that it's a what do youdo it, you know, and I said,
Well, I'm, I want to get thisout there because I want to give
(15:50):
the kids power back. Because noone's not saying parent parents
are doing the best they can. ButI think they're relying on
teaching the kids throughtechnology so much that they're
missing out on the fact thatthey're, the kids aren't
skinning their knees and gettingback up and learning the mistake
that they made by skin fallingdown, because they were doing
whatever
Ali Taylor (16:10):
parents are also they're just sort of passing on
the same programming that theygot, right, then, you know, grew
up with sort of the socialmedia, but also like the, you
know, I think about Ted Turnerand starting a whole CNN and 24
Hour News Channel. And thatbeing something that just
dominated our attention span,and then a different version of
it being with the technologythat got created, and then chat
(16:32):
rooms. And so it's just thetechnology is just exacerbating
and speeding up, sort of thoseworst instincts. And so yeah,
the parents are just passing onthe same negative programming
that they got to their own.
Kim Groshek (16:46):
And it's not just about the parents. So here's the
thing, I woke up one day about aweek ago, and my husband likes
to listen to on Sunday morningnews, or whatever. And I heard
heard someone talking on thetelephone, television, I didn't
know I heard someone talking.
And I said, that can't be aperson. Because there was a
little bit of a little a littlebit of right. And then I went in
and sure enough, it was it was aperson talking on television. So
(17:08):
here's the thing, the pause, youknow, we're talking so fast,
because the technology is isit's like we're trying to keep
up with technology. So we'relearning these behaviors and how
we speak. And then so the pausehelps us then also when we
speak, slow down so that you andI can communicate each other and
(17:29):
understand each other. And youcan catch up to me and I can
catch up to you.
Ali Taylor (17:35):
Yeah. Yeah, it's, well, now I'm just going to be
very conscious of how fast I'mspeaking in the rest of this
conversation moving forward.
Kim Groshek (17:46):
Yeah, yeah. And even taking even taking the
pause in between, it getsuncomfortable for people. And
when we practice the pause,there were you know, there's a
group of 15 of us that werepracticing back in October. And
there were many people that justcouldn't fathom, either fitting
(18:06):
the pause in because I'm toobusy. Yep. Or how do I pause?
What do and that's sometimes Iin fact, that was an interview
yesterday, and they're saying,what do you do when you pause?
Well, there's so many differentthings. Pause. It's just really
a way to remind yourself topause on whatever it is you to
breathe, you can pause to getaway from the chaos. Pause to
(18:31):
speak, right. Yeah, it's allit's an it just it's a reminder
to remind our word, right?
Ali Taylor (18:38):
Yeah, it's the the power of being present. Yes, is
really, you know, for me, when Ihear the pause being all about,
I can actually be present inthis moment. I'm not filling
this space, or filling anysilence spaces with
conversation, because I'mthinking about what's going on
in my head and trying to make agood impression, or, you know,
(19:02):
is this person you know, what'sgoing on with this person, that
they're not saying anything, Ithink so much. Just the social
skills that we have, as asociety, it's sort of degraded,
because people aren't willing tojust take that moment to just be
with themselves. Yeah, I mean,even with with scrolling on
social media, you know, even ifyou're not doing anything else,
(19:26):
you're not with another humanbeing, we think that Well, I'm
just gonna veg out you know, hada really hard day at work, or I
need to, you know, some time toget away, but then you're just
sitting on this device, andyou're not giving your own
thoughts. You're not even beingpresent with yourself inside of
that pause. So, yeah,
Kim Groshek (19:43):
I mean, I was just, I was just watching a video of
this old man who is actuallymimicking a young child coming
home from school, and the thingsthat the little child did, and
the first thing the little childdid was came home and went to
bed went to his bed, his bed wasa man and covered up and then
(20:03):
took his nap. And then he got hewent looked and then you Oh, oh,
I gotta go get my snack now. Sothen he went and got a snack and
this old man, I mean, it's like,and they were making fun of it.
Yeah, but it's reality.
Ali Taylor (20:16):
Yeah.
Kim Groshek (20:18):
I mean that when I got home from school that I
didn't go to bed when I was achild, no, there's a difference,
right
Ali Taylor (20:24):
chores, homework, you know?
Kim Groshek (20:28):
Alright. So I mean, you know, I'm not saying I'm
just saying that. It's a no,now, it was a normal thing back
then to just go home, do thechores, do the homework, go play
with the friends out andoutdoors, because we'd always
have our neighbor friends weplay with. And now it has to be
a conscious effort because weare doing these different
(20:50):
things. That's all it is.
Ali Taylor (20:53):
Yeah, I feel like so much of life requires
intentionality. Now, becausethere's so much that is
competing for our time, ourattention every hour. I mean,
you hear it now, especially onmarketing and social media
channels, where it's like, welive in an intention, economy,
right, everything is all aboutgetting squeezing out every
(21:14):
ounce of attention that they canget out of you. So yeah, to
pause,
Kim Groshek (21:21):
the pause, that's that's a whole element behind
pause. So there's your answer. Imean, truly, that is what it is.
And when I'm out on stage, orI'm out just talking to an
individual, I hope to leaveevery conversation to say, you
know, not to say but that theyare taking pause with them and
(21:42):
practicing it. Yeah, whateverworks for them in their lives,
to empower them to be free.
Right.
Ali Taylor (21:49):
Yeah, absolutely. So what are some results that you
know, when you work with,whether it's individual clients
or corporate clients, you know,in that atmosphere? What are
some of the results that peoplehave gotten from implementing
your paws method? Well, I'll,
Kim Groshek (22:06):
there's different types of results. I'll give you
one client example for 90 days.
There was a she basically was inbed, and and every time she'd
get up, she'd be drinkingalcohol. She had a lot of going
on, right? So she I helped herput structures in her plate in
her day where she had, I thinkit was there's some kind of
(22:30):
meditation seven days, seven,seven step thing, I can't
remember the name of it, thatshe selected, everyone's like
something different. So she, shedid it every morning, and two to
15 minute buckets for herself,because it took 15 to 30
minutes. She applied that, andthen she started to apply
exercise in her life. And thenwhat there are all kinds of
(22:53):
things that she did, but thenwhat the results of it, she was
very happy, right? She lost in90 days, 65 pounds, and got a
whole new job where she totallydifferent job. And she was with
a partner were of 20 yearsliving separated, but a partner,
(23:14):
they never got married, right,which is fine. I mean, whatever.
She moved in with him, I gotmarried. I mean, her whole life
just shifted. And it all had todo with you know, that, you
know, just moving forward andfocusing and putting the right
structures and clearing out thatplate and getting, you know,
getting streamlined. Yeah.
Ali Taylor (23:38):
Wow. That's, that's incredible. Yeah, yeah. Wow. And
then I'm sorry, good. No, I'mgood. Yeah, so for, you know,
for a corporate client forbecause we know, like the
workplace is. Obviously thepandemic was was such a massive
(24:03):
disruption to how people wereused to doing business, how, you
know, companies were used tosort of operating and now you
know, we have to work from home,and then there's the push for
people to come back to theoffice. So in that regard, how
can the pause the power of thepause, make a difference in
their in terms of companyculture, and then those results?
(24:27):
Yep.
Kim Groshek (24:28):
So I have been working with different
organizations in departmentsspecific departments right now.
And there is a lot of hours ongoing on right where you're
either if you're hybrid, right,where you're partially in the
office and partially out. That'stypically a lot of the
companies. It's hard to move allthe way back, but many are fully
(24:50):
remote and they never went backto the hybrid. And they, you
know, you go from meeting tomeeting to Meeting at the top of
the hour, and many of them havenow implemented a 15 minute
break in between pause inbetween meetings as a policy, or
(25:12):
not a policy because you can'tput that kind of policy in
place, they actually implementit as a kind of a soft process
for themselves. And the reasonwhy they're doing it too, and
they're seeing such benefit isthat they were struggling with
not being able to catch upemotionally. There were many
times when you know how it ischaotic? Yeah. And there are
(25:33):
times when people are not veryhappy, or there could be some
anger, anger, things happeningor anxiety. There's a lot of
things going on in thesemeetings that no one really
knows what's going on, right? Imean, I do because I was there
you do, you were there. But youknow, they go from this real
chaotic meeting to another onewithout being able to actually
(25:55):
write in your body is thentaking that all in, and then
getting sick, you'll see you'reseeing a lot of that or you're
seeing people with heart attacksor strokes or things are
happening, right, especially atthe higher the C suites because
they're not they're alwaysfeeling like their angst or so
many pressures politically,right. So that's one of the
(26:15):
things that they've beenimplementing and trying on, it's
working really well, as well assome are trying piloting out the
program around the challenge topause for five days, once a
month, each month.
Ali Taylor (26:30):
Say more about that.
So what what
Kim Groshek (26:33):
what I do is actually bring this into
companies, and then what they dois they promise, they actually
promised they have to sign anagreement, that they're going to
pause for 15 minutes a day, thatmay be whatever choice they do,
they can do five minuteincrements at the top of the
hour, or they can just do it,you know, it's really empowering
them to make that choice. Theydo it for five days. And then
(26:56):
you see this majortransformation. A lot of people
that have been applying it, saythey get time back just it's
this this time, and it's allabout mental time. Right? Yeah.
Because we aren't catching upmentally. So yeah, so you know,
they, and they run through it.
It's like a, you know, everymonth, they keep on
transforming, becoming moreconnected. And some of them in
(27:19):
the schools also are doing this,but in there actually
collaborating across department,you know, how we have issues
with silos? Oh, yeah. So theyare then able to do some
mentorship across the schoolgrades, when they do this, this
five day challenge. So it's
Ali Taylor (27:40):
pretty cool. Yeah, that's awesome. And it's, it
just aligns with, it's funny howso much of business, especially
with the corporate culture inthe last 20 years or so has
tried to circumvent or pushpast, just human biology, with I
(28:01):
remember reading a study a longtime ago that when it comes to
task switching, context,switching our brains or our
bodies need about 15 minutes, inorder to so like if you're doing
a task, and then you getinterrupted, it takes you about
15 minutes to get back to thepoint at which you got
(28:21):
interrupted,
Kim Groshek (28:22):
right. And that's why it's very critical to do
this 15 minute time box, becauseI've implemented this in
companies. And that's what madeone of my successes. By the way,
I've been doing this for 35years. And there were large
companies that would come inthat tried to do these
transformations, and they end upbeing siloed. So then they'd
bring me in, yeah, and implementit. And I'd have leaders of
(28:43):
about 150 leaders across theglobe, with gigantic teams. And
how I did it was to break itdown into these increments to
get the agreements. Because youwe all have a short attention
span, we can't take big chunkslike this and try to get
something done in six months,you down into little pieces. But
(29:03):
it wasn't in a plan at all. Itwas all about human interaction
about talking about what wewant, empowering what, you know,
empowering people, because ifyou do what you want, right,
that comes from your values andyour heart. Yeah. And then it
drives you to do what you wantto do and get it done. Yeah.
Ali Taylor (29:23):
Yeah, that's fantastic. It's such a needed
and needed thing, especially inthese in this time and age where
it's so much it's just trying tobe about being productive and
produce produce produce in thissociety. And, you know, like I
said, before, that attentioneconomy trying to extract as
much attention as possible inorder to get as much
(29:44):
productivity as possible. It'slike such a, such a clash
against the way that we're justphysically designed and meant to
operate. Right. Yeah. So acouple questions here. In terms
of So what like, what do you seenext? How else do you see this
(30:05):
being implemented?
Kim Groshek (30:07):
How else do I see this being implemented?
Everyone? Well, I see thateveryone's going to take it and
design it the way they want andimplemented the way they want.
I've seen people, I already seepeople applying it, and you're
hearing people say, let's take apause for a moment. You're
hearing it on the media. Yeah,there are really intentional
things that I do that I thinkwhat's next everyone could do.
(30:30):
And that is I actually don'tturn on the TV at all. Yeah. And
yeah, I mean, it really isbecause it's, it's, it's, it's
like there is there is a trackaround that. I mean, it's one
it's it's only one by it's notunidirectional, or whatever.
It's one way. Yeah, or whatever.
And there are so many differentways to look at things. And
(30:55):
we're losing out on all those somany different ways, because
we're just looking at that whenwhen, you know, screen. And
that's, you know, the phones andeverything. I mean, it's
everything, right? That's ascreen. It's it's not three
dimensional, right? And it'smore than three dimensional. The
universe is more than threedimensional. Yes, yeah. Okay. So
we as humans are part of thatdimension. And we're losing
(31:19):
that. So I'm saying that thepower comes from you, as an
individual. And you have achoice to pause, and practice a
pause that works for you indifferent ways, because there's
so many different ways you canuse it. And that is, what's next
is you take it and you run withit. And using it the way it
(31:41):
works for you and your life.
Ali Taylor (31:46):
Yeah, I love that. I love that you include that part
about like, it's a choice,right? Like, over being
overwhelmed is a choice. Yeah, Imean, it might be a radical
choice, especially in this dayand age where so much is about
hijacking your attention. Butyeah, it is. It's a choice to be
(32:06):
overwhelmed.
Kim Groshek (32:07):
Yeah, I mean, I am an artist. I don't know, the
timing on this. Hopefully, I canspeak a little more. Yeah, we
got plenty of time. I'm anartist. And there was a series
that I did where I called thestorm, the storm. And, you know,
I see myself many times if youif you want to call it or
(32:28):
tornado, right? I'm walkingthrough that step by step.
Because I'm intentionallywalking, and I'm intentionally
taking a step by step as thestorm is happening around me and
I have all these paintingsaround storm, and how I look in
it. Yeah. And I don'tnecessarily know if everyone is
(32:50):
doing that. I don't know. Ican't say yes or no, I don't. I
can say that. That's what I do.
Yeah. And it isn't always easybeing in that space. And
sometimes I even say, I'm in ablack hole at times, because
there is the emotion part of itthat we have to live in. And I
think even that we're avoiding,and if we don't settle in our
emotions, even just for asecond, we're losing out on who
(33:12):
we are. Because you know, all ofthose emotions are a part of
experiencing life. Right? Yeah,well, that is such a critical
element. And when you ask, youknow, when you had mentioned,
introduce me in the beginning,and said that I was probably the
most productive person thatyou've met, that's how I do it,
(33:32):
it's I each little minor step Itake, right, and I stop and let
my foot position. And if it'sthat I have to take my shoe off
and walk barefoot for a moment,I do and hold the shoe and be
caught intentionally aboutholding the shoe, and then
putting the shoe back on andthen tie my shoe as I go. So
(33:54):
that I'm not losing out on thethings that I need to really
experience and learn. Becausemany times we find ourselves in
these always doing the samething over and over and over
again. And part of what I teachand I see in people is I help
them go into those spaces thatthey keep stepping over that
(34:17):
make them keep going like this.
No longer do this anymore. Yeah,
Ali Taylor (34:25):
instead of being stuck on a hamster wheel, it's,
first of all, recognize thatyou're on the hamster wheel, and
then make an intentional andconscious choice to do something
different to step off. Right?
Yeah, so maybe it's not a matterof that you're, you are one of
the most productive people butthat comes from the
intentionality and the effectedeffectiveness of the actions
(34:47):
that you take. Because you'renot just doing this swirl of
activity of like, oh, let me bebusy for the sake of being busy.
Right. Like we were saying withthe conversation in terms of
people Not being comfortablewith the silence. It's like,
well, let me say somethingbecause it's uncomfortable for
me to not say something. It'salso the same thing in terms of
(35:07):
our actions where it's like,well, let me do something
because it's not comfortable forme to not do something.
Kim Groshek (35:14):
Yeah, well, here, here's the thing. We every my
husband and I are veryintentional, intentional,
intentional about going onvacation. And what we do is, we
leave our phones at home for theseven days that we may go on a
bike trip along with Michigan,for instance. And we set that
(35:36):
intention upfront. And if andsometimes I don't follow it in
the beginning. And he'll pull measide and said, if you pull up
on out, we're going home?
Because we made an agreement.
Yes. Not that he's like that.
But what I'm saying is, this isbecause I do get into it.
Because I'm a computerscientist. This is like a
creative thing. I've done it foryears. Right? And I was my first
(35:56):
computer was a zeal. So I thinkwe're, I was talking to someone
else. And I used to do Das, andall those things that people
don't do anymore, right.
Ali Taylor (36:06):
Anything I've heard of that brand before, the oldest
one I had was a gateway.
Kim Groshek (36:12):
But yeah, so we do.
And then people ask me, How doyou do that? Well, we did it
when I was growing up. We didn'thave to have the phone with us.
And here's the thing, you justput your emergency structure in
place, my daughter knows, youknow, I can call if I need to
through this other line, if Ineed to. Or she can reach us if
there's an emergency that sheneeds to right. So the emergency
(36:33):
line, you always set that up.
Yeah. Before these were inplace. So it and I even as as
what I did for after I pausedand you know, 10 years ago, I
actually didn't. While I waspausing that whole year, I
didn't have the phone. Peoplecouldn't believe that I was
(36:54):
still working remote andtraveling without a phone. And I
could you can.
Ali Taylor (37:00):
I know. It's like just boggles their mind.
Kim Groshek (37:02):
I know. It's just it's a it's a practice,
proactive practice. But again,you hear the process is the
same. It's a timebox processwhere we both set, we're doing a
seven day trip, we're gonna dobike trip all the way from south
of Michigan all the way up. Andwe are going to not have our
phones. And we both agree. Yes.
And we make each otheraccountable for the Yes. Right?
(37:25):
Because there are times right.
And we do it. And it you know,it's not that's not the only
thing we you know, we do manythings like yeah, I went on a
bike ride yesterday with myhusband, and we were riding and
I did not take my my phonebecause I I just didn't. And you
(37:46):
know, halfway through, we sawsomeone's two people sitting on
a bench taking a break and guesswhat they're doing on their
phones sitting in their phones,and it's like you're out in
nature. You're looking at lefty,the alligator, go look at that,
do the alligator rolling upthere are missing out, right?
Yeah.
Ali Taylor (38:05):
You know, what you just said about the one just the
level of relationship that youhave with your husband? I think
a lot of people say that that'swhat they want. But they're not
willing to put in the work toactually do that. Like, oh,
wait, hold on, I got to be withmy partner, and not have my
phone with me not have thatoutside line. It's like, oh,
(38:26):
yeah, that's the person that youchose to, to marry and be in
relationship with, like, be withthat person when you're with
that person. And not the, youknow, 500 or 800, Facebook
friends or Instagram followersthat you have, like be connected
with the person that's in frontof you. So it's such an
important lesson there. And I, Iwould imagine that your
relationship with your husbandis so much stronger, so much
(38:48):
richer and more generous betweenthe two because you have those
agreements, and you take thattime intentionally to spend with
one another. Yeah,
Kim Groshek (38:57):
I mean, I talk a lot about transitions in
relationships. And it's notalways easy and pausing in your
relationship. And then havingthe conversations is very, very
critical. Especially duringthose major times like when
you're going to retire which arereally difficult. Empty Nest,
empty nest when your kids leave.
You are like this because yourkids, your kids were in between.
(39:18):
I don't mean that not I don'tknow how else to explain it. But
your kids here that's what'sforming you to keep moving. You
each have your own identities inyour careers or whatever you're
doing. And then all of a suddenyour kids are gone. There's this
like, Oh, now what are we goingto do? Well, that takes not I
don't know if it's work, butwhat it is, is the Congress
(39:40):
effort, effort. It's theconversations to have to bring
you back together and I will sayit's it's ebbing and flowing
right because it's always likethis in human friendship, and
human relationships. I've got alot of different friends that it
ebbs and flows. I have a friendwho have 40 years that we're,
she's doing this way over here,and I'm doing this way over
(40:03):
here, but we still are alwaystrying to do this. And it's, you
know, it is a conscious effortto reach out and just talk and
have a conversation. You know,it is about I do believe it's
about communication andarticulation. And I think
they're missing in because ofFacebook, or social media,
whatever we want to call it,right? Is all different
(40:25):
platforms. But that is a Yeah, Ican I can look. And I can
converse one directional, but ifyou're talking, I'm gonna go
have coffee, like you and I aretalking right now. Coffee, and
or whatever you're drinking, Idon't know, I'm drinking coffee.
You know, and we're, we're,we're connecting, and you're
(40:50):
agreeing and disagreeing. AndI'm agreeing and doesn't we're
having intentional focus andconversation, we're getting to
know each other better. And now,you know, it's all about that,
right?
Ali Taylor (41:02):
Yeah. Yeah, and so many people don't know how to do
that without a phone in theirhand or without social media.
Like, I have friends that Ilike, we our primary form of
communication is just sendingmemes, and Instagram reels or
tic TOCs back and forth. Youknow, but for, but the best
versions of those types offriendships are ones where we've
(41:24):
spent time face to face, we'vegone through those hard moments,
those transitions where we'vebeen able to just connect eye to
eye, and I feel like so manypeople today, it's like, you
know, something, some littlething happens in that
relationship. And then there'sjust a break, and there's no
repairing of that relationship,because we've had relied on this
(41:45):
the whole time.
Kim Groshek (41:46):
Well, I think that part yeah, like I think your
mind, it's like pivoting, whichis part of the shift that I also
talked about. And the pivotingdoesn't happen. So when we're
talking and coming back to thatconversation about just to
relate it to what we're talkingabout with the time box, is
(42:06):
there are times when thingsdon't work the way you think.
And there's a pivot that happensin the pivot is looking back,
making a forgiveness effort andthen saying, Oh, maybe I don't
do that. Again. I do itdifferent next time. That's
right. And in the conversationsthe same way at the articulation
of that. So this morning, myhusband and I were talking about
(42:27):
we listened to this this morningshow, and they were talking
about this app, because they'resaying, Well, you know, my wife
writes down a list, right? Yeah,we'll put it in the right order.
Because when I go to the grocerystore, you should put it in the
order of the way you go throughthe grocery store, which was
really kind of fun to listen to.
And my husband was laughingbecause he's this he's like,
yeah, that's how it is, youknow, I mean, he's he likes to
(42:49):
follow the grocery store thing.
And then they mentioned this appthat you can put your list in,
and then it puts it in the rightorder, operate between the those
pulses. And I said, Oh, I'mgonna download that app. And
then I thought, but we have apretty nice system because we
talk about it. He knows I liketo have my peanut m&ms.
(43:14):
Shopping. And he said, I don'tyou don't even need to put
peanut m&ms in there. Because Ialready know that you see what
I'm saying. But if you'remissing out on the that the fun
that we have, when he'll he'llcome to me and say, I'm going to
the store. What would you like,Would you do need anything?
Would you like to? I mean,that's a conversation you're
missing out on when you put itin an app. Right? Yeah.
Ali Taylor (43:37):
texter. Yeah, yeah,
Kim Groshek (43:39):
yeah. And you make that decision. And that Texas, I
mean, it's, it's just the wholepoint that you now lost that
mode of communication by havingthe app and you no longer know
he, he's in the bedroom, and I'min the kitchen. And now we're
not even talking? Yeah. Thisway, he comes to me and says,
I'm going to the store. Did youwant some peanut m&ms? Or
(44:03):
something? Whatever it is? Or doyou need something? He's talking
to me? You see the difference?
Yeah. So that's I think, eachtime a new app comes out, it's
an intentional decision. Whetherto use it, I choose not to use
those kinds of things with himbecause I want to have the
conversation with him becauseit's important for me to, to
stay connected to them. Yeah.
(44:27):
Right. Yeah.
Ali Taylor (44:29):
And that's, that's really important in the same way
that like, you know, a marriageis a partnership. You know, the
company that you work for, thatis a partnership, even if, you
know, I know that sometimes theimbalance of power is there, but
it's still as a partnership,right? They're required the the
labor and the effort of theemployees in the corporation.
(44:50):
They're expecting the leadershipof the management and the
direction that they'reproviding. So there's that
partnership there. And I justthink what's really powerful
about the pause is there's therelationship that we have with
ourselves, and being intentionalabout how we connect with
ourselves so that we can beintentional in how we connect
with others.
Kim Groshek (45:09):
Yes, that's a that's big, because here's the
thing. I coach C suiteexecutives, the C suite
executives are typicallythinking the employees are doing
or wanting to do with theirsleaning. Yeah, many times
there's a disconnect, andsomewhere along the line, and
(45:30):
the thing that I teach C suiteexecutives specifically, is the
pause first. Yeah. Because thereare many times they're standing
in front of the whole 1000people, right, the whole
whatever they do, and theyaren't taking a pause to hear
the audience to hear theiremployees. Right. And they
(45:54):
employees aren't hearing arefeeling not heard. Yeah. So
that's critical. Yeah, yeah.
Ali Taylor (46:02):
All right. Well, we're just about at the end of
our time, so I'd like you tosort of wrap it up. Just what's
one piece of wisdom that you'dlike to share in part before we
go,
Kim Groshek (46:16):
guess what, I encourage each of you to just
practice a pause for at least 15minutes a day. And then let me
know how it goes. I have anewsletter that you can sign up
for. Reach out to me and I'll beglad to connect with you and
(46:37):
support you in you know if itworks for you and your
community. And, yeah, justpractice, pause, practice
applause. Love that.
Ali Taylor (46:48):
Well, Kim, thank you so much for being here today.
Taking time out of your day toshare your experience and your
wisdom with us so many goldennuggets. It's gonna be hard to
choose which one the posts forFriday. But yeah, this is great,
great conversation. Thank youfor being here. And I will see
everyone next week with my nextguest.
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