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April 23, 2025 18 mins

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Five years and 125 episodes later, what began as a trembling voice in a closet recording booth has blossomed into a sacred journey of healing, faith, and community. Wednesdays with Watson was born not from expertise but from raw necessity—a desperate search for understanding my own PTSD during the early, uncertain days of the 2020 pandemic.

Lying in a hammock when the world suddenly stopped, I confronted a truth that had followed me since childhood: trauma wasn't just a chapter in my story; it was the paper my story was written on. Abuse, abandonment, and neglect had whispered lies that I was too broken to be loved, too damaged to be useful. But something miraculous happened when I dared to speak these truths aloud—I began to heal, and others began to listen.

This anniversary episode unpacks how sharing my journey through childhood trauma and domestic violence created space for others to feel less alone. The podcast transformed from a personal healing project into a ministry, ultimately setting me on a path toward completing a doctorate in trauma and community care. What started as a way to make sense of my own symptoms became a lifeline for a community of trauma survivors seeking hope in their darkest moments.

The most profound lesson from these five years is simple yet revolutionary: faith doesn't erase pain—it gives it purpose. Every time you tune in, share an episode, or send a message about how this podcast has touched your life, you affirm that God doesn't waste pain. To every survivor who has ever felt defined by their trauma, to every person questioning if healing is possible, to every listener new and old: You are seen. You are known. You are heard. You are loved. You are valued. And I'm honored to continue walking this journey together.

You ARE:
SEEN KNOWN HEARD LOVED VALUED

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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Five years, that is, over 250 Wednesdays, 125 of
which we posted episodes.
There have been countless hoursof preparation, more tears than
I can count, but the sweetestof all the moments, the sacred

(00:21):
moments, when God has made hispresence known through a
microphone, a story, a voice.
Welcome to the specialfive-year anniversary episode of
the Wednesdays with Watsonpodcast.
If you don't already know bynow, I am your host.
My name is Amy Watson and today, even though life is crazy for

(00:44):
all of us, especially for me,today, I want to slow down and
share with you why this podcastexists.
I want to share with you howtrauma shaped it and how faith
continues to save it.
This is a Wednesdays withWatson podcast.

(01:05):
Hey, everybody, and welcomeback to the Wednesdays with
Watson podcast.
This is our fifth anniversary.
I am recording this on Aprilthe 22nd 2025.
Recording this on April the22nd 2025.

(01:31):
And on April the 22nd 2020, weI we, because I have a producer
that has been with me the wholetime.
We dropped our first episodeand this episode is kind of an
ode to all of those stories, allthose times I got behind the
microphone, all of thosemessages that we fielded the
honor that is to be the host ofthe Wednesdays with Watson
podcast is never lost on me.
You see, this podcast changedmy life as it set me on a course

(01:57):
that I will complete by the endof the year.
I will have a doctorate degreein trauma and community care.
That April day when I startedthis podcast literally changed
my life, because I lay in thehammock that day when the world
was shut down Suddenly.
I understood that time is soshort and the mission is so

(02:21):
critical Because, you see, thatmission is you, the listener on
the other side of thismicrophone.
I didn't set out to be apodcaster.
I didn't even really listen topodcasts before I launched this
podcast.
I didn't set out to be apodcaster.

(02:42):
I set out to find survivaltechniques for my own trauma,
for my own PTSD, because formost of my life, as many as you
know, trauma was theundercurrent, not just a chapter
in my story, but trauma was thepaper that my story was written
on.
A story of abuse, abandonment,neglect, Experiences that stole

(03:05):
more than my safety.
They stole, or at least triedto steal, because it didn't
successfully steal my identity,but trauma wanted me to believe
that I am my trauma.
I am what happened to me.
Trauma stole my voice.
Therefore, it threatened tosteal me Because, you see, I
walked through life believingthe lies that trauma whispers

(03:30):
into your soul.
Lies like you are too broken tobe loved.
You are too damaged to beuseful.
I knew Jesus.
I know Jesus.
I believed in God.
I believe in God, but in thosedarkest times, I couldn't quite
believe that he was as good asthey said he was.

(03:54):
Not when I was living withflashbacks, not when I was
waking up in cold sweats, notwhen I was sleeping two and
three hours at night, not when Iwas at the pinnacle of my
struggle with PTSD, not when Iwas begging God to just make it
stop.
And then, one day, I heardsomething deep in my spirit, and

(04:19):
not audibly, but clearly.
It was April 2020, 2020 and theworld was shut down.
If you're listening to this, youlikely remember those days,
that same trauma that I endured.
My whole life was on overdrivewith a worldwide pandemic
Because, remember, ptsd bydefinition means that your
safety has been compromised, andnow all of our safety had been

(04:42):
compromised in those dark times.
Some of you, listening on thesound of my voice, lost people
during the pandemic.
But I remember those days whenwe really didn't know what we
were dealing with and we wereall sheltered in place and I was
laying in a hammock in mybackyard, not really
understanding the two weekvacation, if you will really

(05:04):
understanding the two weekvacation, if you will.
I needed to do somethingbecause this forced vacation was
not working for me.
My livelihood was turned upsidedown, and that is something
that is still true today.
I knew that I was strugglingwith PTSD, but, besides what you
could Google, I didn't knowanything about PTSD.
I had an inability really toread anything.

(05:26):
But I needed something to helpme and, just like God does, I
knew what I needed to do.
I needed to be that voice ofPTSD that people like me could
find from Google.
I didn't know really that Ineeded to start a podcast,
except for I had a friend ofmine Her name is JT, shout out

(05:47):
to JT who said to me back inthose days when I was blogging
and all the things she said Ithink you need to start a
podcast.
So I was laying in that hammockon that April day, I knew that
I needed to start a podcast tohelp people like me that needed
to understand what was happeningto them.
So, before the whole worldbecame podcasters.

(06:11):
I started the Wednesdays withWatson podcast on April 22nd
2020.
That episode I entitled Healing.
That Doesn't Make Sense.
I named that first season PTSD,jesus and me.
And that's exactly what it wasin those early days, as I had a
makeshift podcast space in thecloset of my house.

(06:33):
It all started with a microphone.
It all started out of a desireto help people like me.
It all started with thismessage of hope.
It all started with my desirefor people to know that they are
seen, that they are known, thatthey are heard, that they are
loved and that they are valued.
I remember those early days.

(06:53):
I was so nervous as I would getbehind that microphone.
And so it began with sometrembling hands, a shaky voice
and a fragile heart.
You see, I didn't start theWednesdays with Watson podcast
because I was healed.
I started it because I washealing and I thought, maybe,

(07:14):
maybe, if I could say it outloud, one of you would feel less
alone.
And those early episodes in thatfirst season I told pieces of
my story.
I told the hard parts, the onesthat people usually skip over.
I shared about my childhoodtrauma After surviving that
abuse.
I then was in a domesticviolence, marriage.

(07:37):
I talked about the long andagonizing process of learning to
trust God when I couldn't feelhim.
And something happened I beganto heal, my trauma began to make
sense to me, my symptoms beganto make sense to me, my symptoms
began to make sense to me.

(07:58):
And all of that was a byproductbecause, you see, people
started listening.
They started listening to thepodcast, not to just the content
, but people grab on to the hopeof the message of the
Wednesdays with Watson podcast.
That's the only reason why I doit, because, you see, I am a
flawed human being, living withPTSD, attempting to live a life

(08:21):
worthy of the healing and ofcourse I'm worthy of the healing
but I want people to look at mylife and see hope.
But let me be honest, therewere moments during this podcast
journey over the last fiveyears that I didn't think that
we would continue, because I wasdoing some deep healing as I
was walking you through yours.
But the thing to remember isthat trauma recovery is not

(08:44):
linear.
Of course there were setbacks.
Of course there were hard days,the kind of days when the
darkness would feelall-encompassing again and the
lies would get loud again, andthere were times when I wondered
if I had anything left to say.
Oh, but then there's you, thelistener.
I get messages like I felt seen, I thought I was the only one

(09:09):
to go through this.
And maybe my favorite is, Ifound Jesus again because of the
hope of this podcast.
And that's when I realized thatthis wasn't just a podcast, it
was a ministry.
It is a ministry, it is amission, it is redemption,
because, you see, we know thattrauma rewires the brain.

(09:30):
It changes the way that we seethe world, it changes the way
that we see the world, itchanges the way we see ourselves
.
But then, when we pair faithwith trauma, faith rewrites the
story.
Faith doesn't erase the pain.
Faith gives the pain a purpose.
It doesn't undo the past, butit certainly refines or reframes

(09:58):
the future.
And that's what these five yearshave been about Faith in the
fire, faith through ourtraumatic events, and faith
because we have pain, notbecause, not in spite of it.
I'll say that again faithbecause we have pain.

(10:22):
It's the only way to walkthrough this life with
unspeakable pain is with thefaith in the completed work of
Jesus on the cross.
So, faith in spite of the pain.
I believe with every fiber ofmy being that God doesn't waste
pain.
My life is proof of that.
This podcast is proof of that.
You, the listener yes, you areproof that God doesn't waste

(10:55):
pain.
Every time somebody tunes in,every time somebody shares an
episode, every time you tell afriend about the podcast, you
are helping us build a spacewhere faith and suffering don't
have to be at odds.
Because, back to looking atfaith, it's not the absence of
pain.
Faith is not the absence ofpain.
Faith is the presence of God inthe pain.

(11:18):
So what's next for theWednesdays?
With Watson podcast, we keeptelling stories, we keep sitting
in that tension of trauma andhealing.
We keep declaring with everyepisode that Jesus is still in
the business of resurrection.

(11:38):
Even if the tomb looks like adiagnosis, a memory, a broken
relationship or a wounded soul,that tomb is empty and Jesus
lives.
He lives so that you can havehope.
We're going to keep walkingthis journey together Because

(12:00):
five years ago, when I hitrecord for the first time with
nothing but really a woundedheart, a little bit of knowledge
and a bunch of hope, today Icelebrate with a community of
people who have chosen healing,who have chosen honesty and
maybe, hopefully, you've chosenJesus too.

(12:22):
I'm so grateful to you, thelistener, for listening to me.
I'm grateful to every guestthat I've had on this podcast
over the past five years whohave told their story of pain.
I'm grateful that you honor mystory of pain.
I hope that you believe thattrauma doesn't have to be the

(12:43):
end To the survivor listening,especially if you have hit play
for the first time on theWednesdays with Watson podcast.
You are seen, you are known, youare heard, you are loved, you
are valued.
You are not alone.
Wherever you are in the worldright now, there is somebody

(13:04):
behind a microphone, like me,talking to you and throwing out
prayers as the episodes getrecorded, as they get released
and as we process them.
You are not alone.
You are more than what happenedto you, to the struggler of

(13:26):
faith.
God is not afraid of yourquestions.
God is not afraid of yourquestions.
God is not afraid of yourquestions.
We just celebrated Easter andI'm always marked by the silence
of that Saturday, sunday's,coming to those that are

(13:47):
struggling right now.
God is not afraid of yourquestions.
He sits with you in thatsilence, sunday's, coming to
every listener, old and new.
This podcast is for you.
This healing journey is for us,and to the God who gave me
breath when I didn't want itanymore.
This is all for you.

(14:10):
And to God I also thank forputting me on this journey
because of this podcast, topursue my doctorate degree in
trauma and community care.
And while you're listening tothis under the sound of my voice
, I am a dissertation away fromhaving that doctorate degree.

(14:32):
That happened because of thispodcast, that happened because
people listened, that happenedbecause there's a need out there
for the message of hope andunspeakable trauma.
Thank you to each and everylistener out there, to each and
every listener out there.
Five years of faith, five yearsof fire and five years of

(14:55):
finding Jesus in the ashes ofour brokenness.
Thank you for listening, thankyou for sharing episodes.
Thank you for sending memessages.
Thank you to those of you whosupport me on Patreon.
Thank you.
Every month I just smile when Isee the Patreon deposit into my
account.
It's not much, but the peoplethat support this podcast have

(15:18):
done so almost from thebeginning and I just want to say
thank you.
Thank you to my podcast producer, amy Hyland.
She has been with me from thebeginning.
I remember when I got that textfrom my friend JT who said hey,
you should start a podcast.
I immediately reached out toAmy and said I don't know what
I'm doing, but I can talk andshe has done the rest.

(15:40):
Thank you, amy Hyland.
I consider you a ministrypartner in the Wednesdays with
Watson podcast.
As for what's next, we arestill going to go back to that
generational trauma series.
Because of the aforementioneddissertation, the podcast has
suffered a little bit and that'sokay.

(16:00):
But I want you guys to knowthat I am so grateful for these
five years.
I am grateful to the God whosees, I am just grateful.
I hope that you will continueto listen.
We will be back here in twoweeks.
Thank you, jesus.
Happy anniversary Fifth yearanniversary to the Wednesdays

(16:22):
with Watson podcast.

Speaker 2 (16:25):
You have pulled me out from the depths.
You have saved me from certaindeath.
You have shown yourselffaithful to me over and over
Jesus, so let my life glorifyyou and teach me to walk beside

(16:49):
you.
I want to be more like you, solet my life be one marked by you
, and when my hope is fading andwhen worries do assail me, I

(17:11):
will remember how you you neverfailed me.
You have pulled me out from thedepths.
You have saved me from certaindeath.
You have shown yourselffaithful to me over and over

(17:32):
jesus.
So let my life glorify you.
Teach me to walk beside you.
I want to be more like you, solet my life be one marked by you
, marked by you, marked by you.
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