December 18, 2024 • 24 mins
Have you ever felt the sting of family estrangement, especially during the holidays? Explore the profound emotions tied to separation from loved ones as we seek solace in the timeless story of Joseph. Through his journey of betrayal and eventual forgiveness, we uncover the transformative power of grace and faith. This episode promises to guide you in embracing an eternal perspective, finding hope and healing through God's unwavering presence. As we reflect on forgiveness as a liberating act, even when reconciliation seems impossible, discover practical ways to navigate these challenging relationships while deepening your connection with God.
Join our heartfelt conversation as we embrace peace amidst the turmoil of family divisions. With Christmas around the corner, I encourage you to focus on God's constant presence, drawing strength from scriptures like Isaiah 9:6 and Isaiah 43. As we prepare for the holiday season, allow your heart to find rest in knowing you are seen, known, heard, loved, and valued by the Creator.
You ARE:
SEEN KNOWN HEARD LOVED VALUED
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
For those of you who have estrangement from family
during the holidays, there is noquestion that this is one of
the hardest things to navigate.
There's also no question thatyou have to hey everybody and
(00:22):
welcome back to the Wednesdayswith Watson podcast.
It is December of 2024 andtoday we are going to talk about
God's grace in an estrangement,particularly as it pertains to
family estrangement.
We want to help you find somehope in the holidays.
If you don't know by now, I amyour host, my name is Amy Watson
, and today we're diving into atopic that many of us face, but
(00:43):
we don't know by now.
I am your host, my name is AmyWatson, and today we're diving
into a topic that many of usface but we don't always talk
about, and so I want to talkabout it today this topic of
estrangement from family duringthe holidays.
For many, for many of us, theChristian season is filled with
joy and family gatherings andtraditions, but others for us,
(01:06):
with joy and family gatheringsand traditions, but others for
us, it can be a time of deeppain and longing and loneliness,
especially when estrangementfrom family members is the thing
that's kind of taken up all ofour brain space.
In this episode we're going totalk about the challenges of
family division.
We're going to talk about howwe can find God's presence in
the midst of the pain and howthe Bible speaks to our hearts
when we feel disconnected fromthose that we love.
(01:26):
Whether you're navigating anestrangement, or if you know
somebody that is, I do hope thatthis episode brings
encouragement and some peace toyou as you reflect on God's love
and grace and how I can get youthrough the pain of
estrangement, you through thepain of estrangement.
(01:47):
Holidays often shine a light onthe gaps in our relationships
and for many people, thisestrangement from family members
is particularly hard to dealwith this time of year.
Whether your estrangement isdue to unresolved conflict,
whether there's been abuse,whether there are differing
beliefs as often happen with theelection here in the United
(02:09):
States or just misunderstandings, the holidays can and do
amplify the emptiness that comesfrom being separated from those
who were once closest to us,those who might share our last
name or our bloodline or our DNA.
Who might share our last nameor our bloodline or our DNA
those people.
In some cases, the hurt mightfeel so raw that's even hard to
(02:29):
think about the holidays.
What should they look like Forothers.
It's the absence of the familyconnection that highlights how
lonely this season can be.
You might wonder what ishappening to me?
Where is God in all of this?
You might be asking yourselfpractical questions like what is
the right thing for me, to me,where is God in all of this?
You might be asking yourselfpractical questions like what is
the right thing for me to do,or what do I do?
(02:50):
What, moreover, what is rightin the sight of God?
And if you're listening todayand this is something that
you're walking through I wantyou to hear me when I say you
are not alone.
You might feel estranged fromfamily.
You are not alone.
You might feel estranged fromfamily, but God has not
abandoned you and he is going tobe close to the brokenhearted,
(03:12):
as you'll hear me say a fewtimes during this episode.
Because, you see, the Bibleacknowledges the complexity of
these family relationships.
And, as I was thinking of this,as I was writing this episode,
and thinking of the storiesthroughout scripture, where we
see both deep family, familylove and we see some painful
division.
Because, you see, ecclesiastes3 tells us there's nothing new
under the sun, and so we're notthe first to face the heartbreak
(03:33):
of estrangement and we canlearn much from how the Bible
addresses the conflict and thehealing of estrangement.
One example that came to my mindand I went back and read it,
and I think you probably willknow which one I'm going to use
but is this is a story of Josephin the Old Testament.
If you're familiar with hisstory, you know that Joseph was
(03:54):
betrayed by his brothers.
He was separated them for many,many years.
It was a devastating betrayal,especially in those times, if
you know anything about OldTestament times and how
important family and traditionswere and they continue to be in
that part of the world.
So this was a devastating,devastating blow to Joseph when
(04:15):
his brothers sold him intoslavery.
But God worked through Joseph'slife.
He worked through his pain.
In Genesis 45, 4 through 8, wesee that Joseph, at the very end
of his life, reveals himself tohis brothers after this long
estrangement and he speaks thesewords of forgiveness and
healing.
He says to them and now don'tbe distressed and don't be angry
(04:38):
with yourselves for selling mehere, because it was to save the
lives that God set ahead of me.
I don't know about you when Ifirst read that, though I don't
like that.
My disconnection from family,from blood, can be so neatly
packaged that God could use itfor good.
But he certainly can, andJoseph's story reminds us that
(05:00):
God is able to bring healing andredemption even in the midst of
estrangement and division.
While there may be painfulseparation for this season,
remember that we need to livethrough an eternal perspective.
God can use this in our lives,just like he did Joseph, to
shape us, refine us andultimately restore our
(05:23):
relationships.
And his perfect timing, notours.
That's a.
That's a tough word.
It really is a tough word.
That being said, joseph's storyhad deep, deep family
dysfunction.
His brothers, who were jealousof his favored status with their
father, sold him into slavery.
(05:45):
We all know this story.
That is a significant betrayal,like I mentioned, in that time,
in that region, in that area,in those customs.
This was a wound that mighthave been difficult for Joseph
to recover from.
His brothers essentiallyestranged him, and the family
sent him into a foreign land towork where he had left to face
(06:06):
the unknown.
Joseph's response, however,wasn't one of bitterness.
It wasn't one of revenge.
Instead, he chooses to trustGod in his sovereignty.
And I have to ask us today dowe choose to trust God and his
sovereignty in our brokenrelationships.
We see, in Genesis 39 too, itsays the Lord was with Joseph so
(06:27):
that he prospered.
Despite being far from hisfamily.
Joseph found favor inPotiphar's house, and later,
when he was falsely accused andimprisoned in Pharaoh's house,
god continued to be with him,and Joseph chose to see God's
hand in his life, even whenthings looked bleak.
I was thinking about this, andI wonder if it was because
(06:50):
Joseph was only concerned withthe audience of one.
It was, though.
He put his life in eternalperspective.
Did that help him with his pain?
This hyper focus on God and noton the relationships that he,
that he, that he had lost, orthe things that were being said
and done about him and to him?
(07:12):
When we face family, weestrangement or family
difficulties, it is important toremember that God's plan for
our lives is not thwarted byhuman action.
Just like Mama Bootsy used tosay, god is not up there
wringing his hands in heavenabout the things that are
happening down here.
Joseph didn't fully understandwhat God was doing, for sure,
(07:34):
just like we don't, but hetrusted that God was with him.
Sure, just like we don't, buthe trusted that God was with him
, and I want to stop here rightnow.
Do we trust that God is with us, even though we might be the
only person on the planet?
Do we trust that?
(07:55):
Do we trust the sovereignty ofGod?
Can we do that, knowing, likeMama Gowan said on the episode
before this, the Bible doesn'tsay all things are good, but all
things will work together forour good.
So are we willing to forgive?
Are we willing to investigatethe power of reconciliation?
One of the most profound lessonsfrom Joseph's story was his
ability to forgive.
And if you've been around herefor a while on this podcast, we
(08:17):
have a whole season onforgiveness, and yet I find
myself sitting behind thismicrophone today, for some
personal reasons and fullyknowing that many of you are
feeling like I am right now.
And so what about this story?
What about this ability thatJoseph had to forgive?
After 25 years of separation,joseph's brothers came to Egypt
looking for food from a famine.
(08:39):
We see that in Genesis 42through 45.
And they run into their brother.
They don't recognize him, butJoseph knew who they were.
This could have been the momentfor revenge.
He had all the power in theworld.
He could have arrested them.
He could have punished them forthe wrong they did to him
Instead, to him.
(09:03):
Instead.
Instead, joseph tested them tosee if they had changed, and
once he was certain they had,then he revealed his identity.
What would you say?
Think about the person withwhom you're estranged from, as I
am.
What would you say if you had asimilar situation to Joseph,
whereby you were in a positionof power.
You could do anything to or forthat person that you're
(09:27):
thinking about right now?
What would you say to them?
This is what Joseph said tothem.
I read it a minute ago, aminute ago.
And now do not bedistressedressed and do not be
angry with yourselves forselling me here, because it was
to save lives that God sent meto you.
So then it was not you who sentme here, but God.
(09:51):
So this can feel like a sidewaysslap in the head in some ways,
because Joseph said don't be mad, don't be angry with yourself,
because my life ended up beingbetter because of what you did,
causes me to pause, because mylife is certainly better because
of what some people in my lifewho are no longer in my life,
(10:15):
did.
It sent me on differenttrajectories, something on a
different path.
It sent me on a different pathand I wonder if we can see
through our pain of estrangementand broken relationships and
see the good that has happenedin our lives.
Of course, that pain is alwaysgoing to be there, that need to
do something is always going tobe there.
But what would you say if theywere standing in front of you
(10:38):
now?
But what would you say if theywere standing in front of you
now?
Because you see Joseph'scapacity to forgive and to see
God's purpose in their hurt is apowerful example.
What is God's purpose in yourhurt?
I might not be able to answerthat question.
I can't right now, but 40 yearsfrom now.
I wonder if there will beevidence that I was faithful
(11:02):
with the story of my life, withthe story of estrangement, the
story of betrayal, because yousee Joseph's capacity to forgive
and to see God's purpose in thehurt, like I said, is a
powerful example.
The hurt, like I said, is apowerful example.
Rather holding on to anger andseeking Joseph, joseph allowed
(11:33):
God to work through thesituation and he chose
reconciliation over retribution.
Now, do not misunderstand meForgiveness doesn't ease the
pain of our betrayal, but itfrees us from the bondage of
bitterness and opens the door tohealing and restoration.
And we have to ask ourselvesare we carrying around the pain
from the estranged family likeit is a badge of honor?
Are we happy to be in painbecause somehow that makes it
(11:59):
okay, that makes us feel better?
Do we choose pain over prayingfor those that we're estranged
with, over trusting God withthose that we're estranged with?
Do we choose the pain of therejection over any healing steps
I can have?
Now, in the case of familyestrangement, forgiveness
(12:20):
doesn't necessarily meanreconciliation.
There are boundaries.
Generally speaking, whenthere's situations like this,
there are boundaries for areason and we have to make sure
they're in place.
Forgiveness might be incrediblydifficult, especially when these
deep wounds have been inflicted.
But Joseph forgave his brothersand, whether we like it or not,
we are called to forgive thosethat hurt us.
(12:42):
Forgiveness is an act of grace,unmerited favor, sound familiar
.
Because we have gotten grace,we have gotten forgiveness.
And Jesus said if you don'tforgive, I won't forgive you.
Because, you see, forgivenessis not based on the other
person's worthiness, but wechoose it because we have been
forgiven.
But, as I mentioned, joseph'sstory isn't one of instant
(13:06):
reconciliation.
His journey from the pit to thepalace took years.
In fact, he was separated fromhis family for over 20 years.
It took time for Joseph to riseto the place of influence where
he could help his family.
It also took time for Joseph torise to the place of influence
where he could help his family.
It also took time for hisbrothers to repent and for the
family to be reunited.
It takes time and it might beforever.
(13:28):
You may not ever see it on thisside of heaven.
It might be forever, but wemust be pursuing forgiveness in
our hearts so that, when and ifthat time does come, that our
hearts are postured to answerlike Joseph did.
Don't worry about what you didto me.
God used it for good.
When we're facing estrangement,it is important to remember that
(13:50):
God's timing is perfect, and sowe want to fix it.
We want to fix it now.
We want to do everything we cando to not have this conflict,
but we need to trust God, trusthis sovereignty and operate in
his time, because his timing isperfect.
We want a resolution now.
God might be using this time,as he did in the case of
(14:11):
Joseph's brothers, to refine ourcharacter, to teach us patience
and to work on our hearts ofthose that are involved, the
other people praying for them.
Pray for those people.
Trusting God with the timing ofreconciliation can be one of
the hardest things that we willever do, but we have to do it.
We really don't have a choice,right?
(14:32):
We have to do it, and one ofthe ways that we can do it is
embrace God in the pain.
And one of the ways that we cando it is embrace God in the
pain, right?
If you're experiencing thisestrangement this holiday season
, I do want to encourage youthat let's lean into God's
presence, because humanrelationships will fail us, but
God is always with us.
(14:53):
We see that in Psalm 34, 18.
The Lord is close to thebrokenhearted and save those who
are crushed in spirit.
Doesn't that latter part soundlike what it feels like when you
are in estrangement, crushed inspirit, in your moments of
loneliness and sorrow?
I want you to know that Godsees you.
(15:15):
Talk a lot about that on thispodcast how you are seen, how
you are known, how you are loved, how you are valued.
We talk about that a lotbecause God does value you In
your moments of loneliness andsorrow.
He sees you, he understandsyour pain and he is near you.
(15:35):
Take some time in prayer,reflect on the promises that he
will never leave you or forsakeyou, even if people do, and
remember, even in this difficultseason, that he is with you.
This season is about him.
He came to this earth so thatwe could have life and so that
we could have it more abundantly.
He came as a baby, born to die.
(15:56):
He is with you, offering thatsame comfort, hope and feeling
that was probably felt on thatfirst Christmas, when he brought
peace to the world.
That being said, what are somepractical ways that we can
navigate estrangement, becauseit can be tough, but here are
(16:17):
some practical ways to cope andfind peace in the midst of it
all.
As I've been mentioning, focuson your relationship with God,
take it to the Lord in prayer,like the old song says.
Spend time in prayer, worship,read scripture because you see,
just like Joseph, this hyperfocus on God will become your
(16:41):
anchor and you're going to beless shaken by the instability
of these human relationships.
Seek support, don't isolate.
We tell people at the hospitalthis all the time.
If you're feeling isolated,reach out to friends, reach out
to a counselor, reach out tothis podcast.
You can do that right in a textmessage.
Reach out to a counselor.
(17:01):
Reach out to this podcast youcan do that right in a text
message.
Reach out to a support group.
This stinks being estrangedfrom family and I'm not trying
to throw scripture at it todayin an effort to take away your
pain.
Your pain is there.
I'm encouraging you to sit atthe feet of the cross, because
he does bind up thebrokenhearted.
Seek some support.
(17:22):
One of the things that I havedone because, in case you don't
know by now, this episode isdefinitely influenced by some
personal experiences One of thethings I've done is create new
traditions.
Since the family traditions areno longer an option, I'm
creating new ones, and thatlooks different for everybody,
but maybe it's volunteering.
Maybe it's time spendingdifferent for everybody, but
maybe it's volunteering.
Maybe it's time spending sometime outside.
(17:43):
Maybe it's enjoying a quiet,peaceful day.
Maybe it's reading a book.
Maybe it's a peaceful time ofreflection, creating new
traditions.
And when you do that for everyChristmas that you don't have
your family, it might be alittle less painful because
you're creating new traditions.
(18:03):
Finally, extend grace toyourself.
Understand that healing takestime, that some days you're
going to be all aboutforgiveness and some days.
You're going to be not ready tomake nice, as the old Dixie
Chick song says.
That's okay.
You're going to ebb and you'regoing to flow.
Give grace to yourself.
Remember that audience of one.
(18:25):
Hyper focus on Jesus.
Hyper focus on Jesus.
Be patient with yourself andknow that it's okay to feel sad
and grief during the holidays.
It's okay to cry, to feel sadand grief during the holidays.
It's okay to cry.
In fact, I encourage you to doso.
It's not okay to hang on to it.
Hyper-focus on Jesus.
(18:46):
I can't say that enough,because he is the only one that
will never leave you and thatwill never forsake you.
He is the only way to God.
The Bible tells us Jesus is theway, the truth and the life,
and that no man comes to theFather except through Jesus.
And so, while we're celebratingthe baby who was born to die,
(19:09):
and then, 33 years later, in thespring, we will celebrate why
he was born to die, to come todie, to pay the price for you,
for me, for those that have hurtus, those from whom we're
estranged from, for you, for me,for those that have hurt us,
those from whom we're estrangedfrom.
He died for them too.
He died for them too.
(19:29):
As we close today's episode, Iwant to remind you of something
critical.
In the midst of estrangement,god's love for you is unshakable
.
No matter the hurt, no matterthe distance, his grace is
enough.
The Christmas story itselfreminds us of God's great love
for us.
As I just mentioned, jesus cameto reconcile us to God, the
(19:50):
ultimate extrangent, and throughhim we have hope of restoration
.
No more estrangement from God,whether that's in our
relationship with God or, oneday, in our relationship with
others, because if it doesn'thappen here, it will be made
whole in the new heaven.
If you're struggling withestrangement this holiday season
, please rest in God's presence.
(20:13):
Trust that he is working in waysthat you cannot see.
As we approach Christmas, letus remember the words of Isaiah
9, 6.
For unto us a child is born, tous a son is given, and the
government will be on hisshoulders and he will be called
Wonderful Counselor, mighty God,everlasting Father, prince of
(20:34):
Peace, jesus is our perfectpeace.
He will keep us in perfectpeace when our mind is stayed
perfect peace.
He will keep us in perfectpeace when our mind is stayed on
him.
He longs to be with us throughthe darkest moments.
We see that in Isaiah 43.
Through the fire, through thedark, through the storm, he is
near, even in our brokenness.
(20:55):
So I hope this helps you today.
For those of you who haveestrangement from family during
the holidays, there is noquestion that this is one of the
hardest things to navigate.
There's also no question thatyou have to, and so I encourage
you today to find a way to dothat that is right and good for
(21:15):
you, trusting in the sovereigntyof the Almighty God, from whom
we had the ultimate estrangementone day, and now we don't, and
we are called to live our livesworthy of that, and so I hope
today that God will be near tothe brokenheartedness I know he
will, for those of you, underthe sound of my voice, that are
(21:37):
telling me.
But, amy, you don't know.
You're right, I don't.
But what I do know is that ourresponsibility doesn't change
regardless of what the story is.
And so, as you seek the audienceof one, as you hyper-focus on
Jesus, I do pray for peace.
I pray for peace for you and Ipray for peace for me, and I
pray for peace for the peoplewith whom we are estranged from,
(21:59):
because he is a baby who cameto this earth to die for our
sins, and for that reason, wecan have an amazing holiday
season, and I hope that you guysall do have an amazing holiday
season.
As for us, we'll be back herein two weeks picking up on our
generational podcast series.
I hope that you have a MerryChristmas and we will see you in
(22:20):
two weeks.
Before we go.
You know what I'm going to sayyou are seen, you are known, you
are heard, you are loved andyou're so valued, even if you
don't feel it in this Christmasseason because people you love
aren't speaking to you or youaren't speaking to them.
That doesn't change the factthat this is true in the sight
(22:40):
of an almighty.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
God, merry Christmas guys, for me, for me, for me,
only Jesus For me, for me, onlyJesus For me, for me, only Jesus
(23:40):
For me, for me, for me.
Let my heart want for nothingbut you, just you.
Let my heart want for nothingbut you, just you.
(24:00):
The riches of this world couldnever satisfy.
Let my heart want for only you.
Let my heart want for nothingbut you, just you.
Let my heart warm for nothingbut you, just you.
(24:27):
The riches of this world couldnever satisfy.
Let my heart warm for only you,oh Jesus, let my heart warm for
only you, oh Jesus, let myheart want for only you.
For those of you who have estrangement from family
during the holidays, there is noquestion that this is one of
the hardest things to navigate.
There's also no question thatyou have to hey everybody and
(00:22):
welcome back to the Wednesdayswith Watson podcast.
It is December of 2024 andtoday we are going to talk about
God's grace in an estrangement,particularly as it pertains to
family estrangement.
We want to help you find somehope in the holidays.
If you don't know by now, I amyour host, my name is Amy Watson
, and today we're diving into atopic that many of us face, but
(00:43):
we don't know by now.
I am your host, my name is AmyWatson, and today we're diving
into a topic that many of usface but we don't always talk
about, and so I want to talkabout it today this topic of
estrangement from family duringthe holidays.
For many, for many of us, theChristian season is filled with
joy and family gatherings andtraditions, but others for us,
(01:06):
with joy and family gatheringsand traditions, but others for
us, it can be a time of deeppain and longing and loneliness,
especially when estrangementfrom family members is the thing
that's kind of taken up all ofour brain space.
In this episode we're going totalk about the challenges of
family division.
We're going to talk about howwe can find God's presence in
the midst of the pain and howthe Bible speaks to our hearts
when we feel disconnected fromthose that we love.
(01:26):
Whether you're navigating anestrangement, or if you know
somebody that is, I do hope thatthis episode brings
encouragement and some peace toyou as you reflect on God's love
and grace and how I can get youthrough the pain of
estrangement, you through thepain of estrangement.
(01:47):
Holidays often shine a light onthe gaps in our relationships
and for many people, thisestrangement from family members
is particularly hard to dealwith this time of year.
Whether your estrangement isdue to unresolved conflict,
whether there's been abuse,whether there are differing
beliefs as often happen with theelection here in the United
(02:09):
States or just misunderstandings, the holidays can and do
amplify the emptiness that comesfrom being separated from those
who were once closest to us,those who might share our last
name or our bloodline or our DNA.
Who might share our last nameor our bloodline or our DNA
those people.
In some cases, the hurt mightfeel so raw that's even hard to
(02:29):
think about the holidays.
What should they look like Forothers.
It's the absence of the familyconnection that highlights how
lonely this season can be.
You might wonder what ishappening to me?
Where is God in all of this?
You might be asking yourselfpractical questions like what is
the right thing for me, to me,where is God in all of this?
You might be asking yourselfpractical questions like what is
the right thing for me to do,or what do I do?
(02:50):
What, moreover, what is rightin the sight of God?
And if you're listening todayand this is something that
you're walking through I wantyou to hear me when I say you
are not alone.
You might feel estranged fromfamily.
You are not alone.
You might feel estranged fromfamily, but God has not
abandoned you and he is going tobe close to the brokenhearted,
(03:12):
as you'll hear me say a fewtimes during this episode.
Because, you see, the Bibleacknowledges the complexity of
these family relationships.
And, as I was thinking of this,as I was writing this episode,
and thinking of the storiesthroughout scripture, where we
see both deep family, familylove and we see some painful
division.
Because, you see, ecclesiastes3 tells us there's nothing new
under the sun, and so we're notthe first to face the heartbreak
(03:33):
of estrangement and we canlearn much from how the Bible
addresses the conflict and thehealing of estrangement.
One example that came to my mindand I went back and read it,
and I think you probably willknow which one I'm going to use
but is this is a story of Josephin the Old Testament.
If you're familiar with hisstory, you know that Joseph was
(03:54):
betrayed by his brothers.
He was separated them for many,many years.
It was a devastating betrayal,especially in those times, if
you know anything about OldTestament times and how
important family and traditionswere and they continue to be in
that part of the world.
So this was a devastating,devastating blow to Joseph when
(04:15):
his brothers sold him intoslavery.
But God worked through Joseph'slife.
He worked through his pain.
In Genesis 45, 4 through 8, wesee that Joseph, at the very end
of his life, reveals himself tohis brothers after this long
estrangement and he speaks thesewords of forgiveness and
healing.
He says to them and now don'tbe distressed and don't be angry
(04:38):
with yourselves for selling mehere, because it was to save the
lives that God set ahead of me.
I don't know about you when Ifirst read that, though I don't
like that.
My disconnection from family,from blood, can be so neatly
packaged that God could use itfor good.
But he certainly can, andJoseph's story reminds us that
(05:00):
God is able to bring healing andredemption even in the midst of
estrangement and division.
While there may be painfulseparation for this season,
remember that we need to livethrough an eternal perspective.
God can use this in our lives,just like he did Joseph, to
shape us, refine us andultimately restore our
(05:23):
relationships.
And his perfect timing, notours.
That's a.
That's a tough word.
It really is a tough word.
That being said, joseph's storyhad deep, deep family
dysfunction.
His brothers, who were jealousof his favored status with their
father, sold him into slavery.
(05:45):
We all know this story.
That is a significant betrayal,like I mentioned, in that time,
in that region, in that area,in those customs.
This was a wound that mighthave been difficult for Joseph
to recover from.
His brothers essentiallyestranged him, and the family
sent him into a foreign land towork where he had left to face
(06:06):
the unknown.
Joseph's response, however,wasn't one of bitterness.
It wasn't one of revenge.
Instead, he chooses to trustGod in his sovereignty.
And I have to ask us today dowe choose to trust God and his
sovereignty in our brokenrelationships.
We see, in Genesis 39 too, itsays the Lord was with Joseph so
(06:27):
that he prospered.
Despite being far from hisfamily.
Joseph found favor inPotiphar's house, and later,
when he was falsely accused andimprisoned in Pharaoh's house,
god continued to be with him,and Joseph chose to see God's
hand in his life, even whenthings looked bleak.
I was thinking about this, andI wonder if it was because
(06:50):
Joseph was only concerned withthe audience of one.
It was, though.
He put his life in eternalperspective.
Did that help him with his pain?
This hyper focus on God and noton the relationships that he,
that he, that he had lost, orthe things that were being said
and done about him and to him?
(07:12):
When we face family, weestrangement or family
difficulties, it is important toremember that God's plan for
our lives is not thwarted byhuman action.
Just like Mama Bootsy used tosay, god is not up there
wringing his hands in heavenabout the things that are
happening down here.
Joseph didn't fully understandwhat God was doing, for sure,
(07:34):
just like we don't, but hetrusted that God was with him.
Sure, just like we don't, buthe trusted that God was with him
, and I want to stop here rightnow.
Do we trust that God is with us, even though we might be the
only person on the planet?
Do we trust that?
(07:55):
Do we trust the sovereignty ofGod?
Can we do that, knowing, likeMama Gowan said on the episode
before this, the Bible doesn'tsay all things are good, but all
things will work together forour good.
So are we willing to forgive?
Are we willing to investigatethe power of reconciliation?
One of the most profound lessonsfrom Joseph's story was his
ability to forgive.
And if you've been around herefor a while on this podcast, we
(08:17):
have a whole season onforgiveness, and yet I find
myself sitting behind thismicrophone today, for some
personal reasons and fullyknowing that many of you are
feeling like I am right now.
And so what about this story?
What about this ability thatJoseph had to forgive?
After 25 years of separation,joseph's brothers came to Egypt
looking for food from a famine.
(08:39):
We see that in Genesis 42through 45.
And they run into their brother.
They don't recognize him, butJoseph knew who they were.
This could have been the momentfor revenge.
He had all the power in theworld.
He could have arrested them.
He could have punished them forthe wrong they did to him
Instead, to him.
(09:03):
Instead.
Instead, joseph tested them tosee if they had changed, and
once he was certain they had,then he revealed his identity.
What would you say?
Think about the person withwhom you're estranged from, as I
am.
What would you say if you had asimilar situation to Joseph,
whereby you were in a positionof power.
You could do anything to or forthat person that you're
(09:27):
thinking about right now?
What would you say to them?
This is what Joseph said tothem.
I read it a minute ago, aminute ago.
And now do not bedistressedressed and do not be
angry with yourselves forselling me here, because it was
to save lives that God sent meto you.
So then it was not you who sentme here, but God.
(09:51):
So this can feel like a sidewaysslap in the head in some ways,
because Joseph said don't be mad, don't be angry with yourself,
because my life ended up beingbetter because of what you did,
causes me to pause, because mylife is certainly better because
of what some people in my lifewho are no longer in my life,
(10:15):
did.
It sent me on differenttrajectories, something on a
different path.
It sent me on a different pathand I wonder if we can see
through our pain of estrangementand broken relationships and
see the good that has happenedin our lives.
Of course, that pain is alwaysgoing to be there, that need to
do something is always going tobe there.
But what would you say if theywere standing in front of you
(10:38):
now?
But what would you say if theywere standing in front of you
now?
Because you see Joseph'scapacity to forgive and to see
God's purpose in their hurt is apowerful example.
What is God's purpose in yourhurt?
I might not be able to answerthat question.
I can't right now, but 40 yearsfrom now.
I wonder if there will beevidence that I was faithful
(11:02):
with the story of my life, withthe story of estrangement, the
story of betrayal, because yousee Joseph's capacity to forgive
and to see God's purpose in thehurt, like I said, is a
powerful example.
The hurt, like I said, is apowerful example.
Rather holding on to anger andseeking Joseph, joseph allowed
(11:33):
God to work through thesituation and he chose
reconciliation over retribution.
Now, do not misunderstand meForgiveness doesn't ease the
pain of our betrayal, but itfrees us from the bondage of
bitterness and opens the door tohealing and restoration.
And we have to ask ourselvesare we carrying around the pain
from the estranged family likeit is a badge of honor?
Are we happy to be in painbecause somehow that makes it
(11:59):
okay, that makes us feel better?
Do we choose pain over prayingfor those that we're estranged
with, over trusting God withthose that we're estranged with?
Do we choose the pain of therejection over any healing steps
I can have?
Now, in the case of familyestrangement, forgiveness
(12:20):
doesn't necessarily meanreconciliation.
There are boundaries.
Generally speaking, whenthere's situations like this,
there are boundaries for areason and we have to make sure
they're in place.
Forgiveness might be incrediblydifficult, especially when these
deep wounds have been inflicted.
But Joseph forgave his brothersand, whether we like it or not,
we are called to forgive thosethat hurt us.
(12:42):
Forgiveness is an act of grace,unmerited favor, sound familiar
.
Because we have gotten grace,we have gotten forgiveness.
And Jesus said if you don'tforgive, I won't forgive you.
Because, you see, forgivenessis not based on the other
person's worthiness, but wechoose it because we have been
forgiven.
But, as I mentioned, joseph'sstory isn't one of instant
(13:06):
reconciliation.
His journey from the pit to thepalace took years.
In fact, he was separated fromhis family for over 20 years.
It took time for Joseph to riseto the place of influence where
he could help his family.
It also took time for Joseph torise to the place of influence
where he could help his family.
It also took time for hisbrothers to repent and for the
family to be reunited.
It takes time and it might beforever.
(13:28):
You may not ever see it on thisside of heaven.
It might be forever, but wemust be pursuing forgiveness in
our hearts so that, when and ifthat time does come, that our
hearts are postured to answerlike Joseph did.
Don't worry about what you didto me.
God used it for good.
When we're facing estrangement,it is important to remember that
(13:50):
God's timing is perfect, and sowe want to fix it.
We want to fix it now.
We want to do everything we cando to not have this conflict,
but we need to trust God, trusthis sovereignty and operate in
his time, because his timing isperfect.
We want a resolution now.
God might be using this time,as he did in the case of
(14:11):
Joseph's brothers, to refine ourcharacter, to teach us patience
and to work on our hearts ofthose that are involved, the
other people praying for them.
Pray for those people.
Trusting God with the timing ofreconciliation can be one of
the hardest things that we willever do, but we have to do it.
We really don't have a choice,right?
(14:32):
We have to do it, and one ofthe ways that we can do it is
embrace God in the pain.
And one of the ways that we cando it is embrace God in the
pain, right?
If you're experiencing thisestrangement this holiday season
, I do want to encourage youthat let's lean into God's
presence, because humanrelationships will fail us, but
God is always with us.
(14:53):
We see that in Psalm 34, 18.
The Lord is close to thebrokenhearted and save those who
are crushed in spirit.
Doesn't that latter part soundlike what it feels like when you
are in estrangement, crushed inspirit, in your moments of
loneliness and sorrow?
I want you to know that Godsees you.
(15:15):
Talk a lot about that on thispodcast how you are seen, how
you are known, how you are loved, how you are valued.
We talk about that a lotbecause God does value you In
your moments of loneliness andsorrow.
He sees you, he understandsyour pain and he is near you.
(15:35):
Take some time in prayer,reflect on the promises that he
will never leave you or forsakeyou, even if people do, and
remember, even in this difficultseason, that he is with you.
This season is about him.
He came to this earth so thatwe could have life and so that
we could have it more abundantly.
He came as a baby, born to die.
(15:56):
He is with you, offering thatsame comfort, hope and feeling
that was probably felt on thatfirst Christmas, when he brought
peace to the world.
That being said, what are somepractical ways that we can
navigate estrangement, becauseit can be tough, but here are
(16:17):
some practical ways to cope andfind peace in the midst of it
all.
As I've been mentioning, focuson your relationship with God,
take it to the Lord in prayer,like the old song says.
Spend time in prayer, worship,read scripture because you see,
just like Joseph, this hyperfocus on God will become your
(16:41):
anchor and you're going to beless shaken by the instability
of these human relationships.
Seek support, don't isolate.
We tell people at the hospitalthis all the time.
If you're feeling isolated,reach out to friends, reach out
to a counselor, reach out tothis podcast.
You can do that right in a textmessage.
Reach out to a counselor.
(17:01):
Reach out to this podcast youcan do that right in a text
message.
Reach out to a support group.
This stinks being estrangedfrom family and I'm not trying
to throw scripture at it todayin an effort to take away your
pain.
Your pain is there.
I'm encouraging you to sit atthe feet of the cross, because
he does bind up thebrokenhearted.
Seek some support.
(17:22):
One of the things that I havedone because, in case you don't
know by now, this episode isdefinitely influenced by some
personal experiences One of thethings I've done is create new
traditions.
Since the family traditions areno longer an option, I'm
creating new ones, and thatlooks different for everybody,
but maybe it's volunteering.
Maybe it's time spendingdifferent for everybody, but
maybe it's volunteering.
Maybe it's time spending sometime outside.
(17:43):
Maybe it's enjoying a quiet,peaceful day.
Maybe it's reading a book.
Maybe it's a peaceful time ofreflection, creating new
traditions.
And when you do that for everyChristmas that you don't have
your family, it might be alittle less painful because
you're creating new traditions.
(18:03):
Finally, extend grace toyourself.
Understand that healing takestime, that some days you're
going to be all aboutforgiveness and some days.
You're going to be not ready tomake nice, as the old Dixie
Chick song says.
That's okay.
You're going to ebb and you'regoing to flow.
Give grace to yourself.
Remember that audience of one.
(18:25):
Hyper focus on Jesus.
Hyper focus on Jesus.
Be patient with yourself andknow that it's okay to feel sad
and grief during the holidays.
It's okay to cry, to feel sadand grief during the holidays.
It's okay to cry.
In fact, I encourage you to doso.
It's not okay to hang on to it.
Hyper-focus on Jesus.
(18:46):
I can't say that enough,because he is the only one that
will never leave you and thatwill never forsake you.
He is the only way to God.
The Bible tells us Jesus is theway, the truth and the life,
and that no man comes to theFather except through Jesus.
And so, while we're celebratingthe baby who was born to die,
(19:09):
and then, 33 years later, in thespring, we will celebrate why
he was born to die, to come todie, to pay the price for you,
for me, for those that have hurtus, those from whom we're
estranged from, for you, for me,for those that have hurt us,
those from whom we're estrangedfrom.
He died for them too.
He died for them too.
(19:29):
As we close today's episode, Iwant to remind you of something
critical.
In the midst of estrangement,god's love for you is unshakable
.
No matter the hurt, no matterthe distance, his grace is
enough.
The Christmas story itselfreminds us of God's great love
for us.
As I just mentioned, jesus cameto reconcile us to God, the
(19:50):
ultimate extrangent, and throughhim we have hope of restoration
.
No more estrangement from God,whether that's in our
relationship with God or, oneday, in our relationship with
others, because if it doesn'thappen here, it will be made
whole in the new heaven.
If you're struggling withestrangement this holiday season
, please rest in God's presence.
(20:13):
Trust that he is working in waysthat you cannot see.
As we approach Christmas, letus remember the words of Isaiah
9, 6.
For unto us a child is born, tous a son is given, and the
government will be on hisshoulders and he will be called
Wonderful Counselor, mighty God,everlasting Father, prince of
(20:34):
Peace, jesus is our perfectpeace.
He will keep us in perfectpeace when our mind is stayed
perfect peace.
He will keep us in perfectpeace when our mind is stayed on
him.
He longs to be with us throughthe darkest moments.
We see that in Isaiah 43.
Through the fire, through thedark, through the storm, he is
near, even in our brokenness.
(20:55):
So I hope this helps you today.
For those of you who haveestrangement from family during
the holidays, there is noquestion that this is one of the
hardest things to navigate.
There's also no question thatyou have to, and so I encourage
you today to find a way to dothat that is right and good for
(21:15):
you, trusting in the sovereigntyof the Almighty God, from whom
we had the ultimate estrangementone day, and now we don't, and
we are called to live our livesworthy of that, and so I hope
today that God will be near tothe brokenheartedness I know he
will, for those of you, underthe sound of my voice, that are
(21:37):
telling me.
But, amy, you don't know.
You're right, I don't.
But what I do know is that ourresponsibility doesn't change
regardless of what the story is.
And so, as you seek the audienceof one, as you hyper-focus on
Jesus, I do pray for peace.
I pray for peace for you and Ipray for peace for me, and I
pray for peace for the peoplewith whom we are estranged from,
(21:59):
because he is a baby who cameto this earth to die for our
sins, and for that reason, wecan have an amazing holiday
season, and I hope that you guysall do have an amazing holiday
season.
As for us, we'll be back herein two weeks picking up on our
generational podcast series.
I hope that you have a MerryChristmas and we will see you in
(22:20):
two weeks.
Before we go.
You know what I'm going to sayyou are seen, you are known, you
are heard, you are loved andyou're so valued, even if you
don't feel it in this Christmasseason because people you love
aren't speaking to you or youaren't speaking to them.
That doesn't change the factthat this is true in the sight
(22:40):
of an almighty.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
God, merry Christmas guys, for me, for me, for me,
only Jesus For me, for me, onlyJesus For me, for me, only Jesus
(23:40):
For me, for me, for me.
Let my heart want for nothingbut you, just you.
Let my heart want for nothingbut you, just you.
(24:00):
The riches of this world couldnever satisfy.
Let my heart want for only you.
Let my heart want for nothingbut you, just you.
Let my heart warm for nothingbut you, just you.
(24:27):
The riches of this world couldnever satisfy.
Let my heart warm for only you,oh Jesus, let my heart warm for
only you, oh Jesus, let myheart want for only you.
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