January 1, 2025 • 29 mins
Ever find yourself feeling low after the holiday lights dim and the festive spirit fades? Well, you're not alone. In our latest Wednesdays with Watson episode, we uncover the post-holiday letdown many experience and offer practical insights into managing those overwhelming emotions. We explore the triggers that might arise from family gatherings and the weight of grief, especially when the winter skies feel endlessly gray. Get ready to learn how setting mental health goals and focusing on sleep can reinvigorate your spirit as you transition back to your daily routine.
The emotional rollercoaster during and after the holiday season is real, and we're here to help you navigate it. We dive into valuable self-care practices like journaling, setting boundaries, and reaching out for therapy. By acknowledging and honoring your emotions without judgment, you can build resilience and find peace in shared experiences. This episode is a heartfelt conversation about prioritizing rest, nutrition, and support, all vital for maintaining emotional health as you step into a new year.
2025 is here, and it's time to set your mental health compass. This episode is packed with actionable tips on mindfulness, physical activity, and nurturing relationships with supportive individuals. We explore the unwavering role of faith in navigating life's challenges and express our gratitude for the enduring spirit of our listeners. As we embark on this new year, we’re excited for future topics, including a series on generational trauma. Join us on this journey of growth, resilience, and steadfast faith.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Hey everybody, and welcome back to the Wednesdays
with Watson podcast.
It is December, the actually,when you're listening to this,
it is January, the 1st, 2025.
Happy New Year, guys.
It has been a good year in somany ways, but now, as we embark
on another year, I am soexcited to see what this year
(00:27):
will bring for us.
If you're new to the podcast,thank you so much for listening.
I do hope that you will hitthat subscribe button or follow
button right there while you'rein your podcast app, so that you
could be sure that you knowwhen we drop new episodes.
Guys, we are nearing five yearsof the Wednesdays with Watson
podcast, and I can hardlybelieve the opportunity that
(00:48):
we've had all around the worldto be in the earbuds of people
who listen because they want tounderstand how to navigate this
life with trauma and faith, andso we are going to continue to
do that.
For today's episode, though,that is dropping on New Year's
Day, I wanted for us to justtalk a little bit about some
(01:10):
things that are very significantto this time of year, and so I
hope that you will stay tunedhere and drop into this episode
with me as we talk about thepost-holiday letdown we're going
to talk about how we canapproach what is the inevitable
post holiday letdown?
Also, what about those familytriggers that happen at your
(01:33):
family outings when you werespending time with the holidays?
What about those of you, likeme, who had some grief during
the holidays?
Maybe this was an anniversaryof a death and this time of year
is always hard for you.
What about that?
How about understandingseasonal affective disorder?
For those of you guys not inthe sunshine state, like I am
(01:57):
here in Florida, what isseasonal affective disorder?
How are some ways that we canmanage it?
And then, finally, we can setsome goals, some mental health
goals, for the new year.
And so, since this episode isdropping on January 1, I wanted
it to be one that was timely.
We do plan to drop back intoour series of generational
(02:17):
trauma.
We had our one episode withMama Gowan that will be linked
in the show notes for the silentgeneration and how they handle
trauma, and then next up will bethe baby boomers.
But we've taken a little bit ofa break and wanted to be a
little bit more relevant to thetime in the last couple episodes
, and so let's drop into thispodcast about these things that
(02:38):
we all are going to deal withnow that we are in the new year
and, for the most part, theholidays are behind us.
Well, we did it, guys.
It is January 1st 2025, and theholidays are officially behind
us.
I don't know about you, but itseemed like it was literally
(03:01):
just the 4th of July and now weare in a new year.
So the holidays are just such atime.
It's often a whirlwind ofactivity, connection that we
normally don't have, right withfamily.
We're seeing people more atchurch than we do often and,
more important than that, theholidays bring with it somehow,
with the flip of the calendar,this extremely high expectation
(03:24):
that things have to be perfectand that we we have to be all
things to all people.
And it's just really we setourselves up for disaster after
the holidays, hence the postholiday letdown, because when
the decorations come down andwe're not having church 185
times a week and the music maybeisn't as happy on our radios or
(03:48):
we don't have twinkling lightsin our house, when those things
happen and life returns tonormal, it is so, so common for
us to feel this sense of sadnessand even emptiness, because the
just the hope that the holidaybrings and people are usually in
better moods and it's just anamazing, magical time of year,
(04:09):
no matter what way you look atit.
And then January 1st hits andwe are staring down the barrel
of winter and sadness and maybeeven some feeling of emptiness
as we settle into our livesafter having just an amazing
time with our friends and family.
Or maybe, if you strugglethrough those times, then you're
walking into another struggle.
(04:29):
So we do know that there's thisthing called the post-holiday
blues, and I think the thingthat is most important to talk
about here is that this is avery natural response, and so,
if you're feeling that this is avery natural response, it
reminds me a lot of when we usedto go to summer camp, and
summer camp was amazing, youknow.
We got to spend time with ourfriends and and they kept us
(04:53):
busy until we dropped and mostof us heard some of the best
preaching of our lives and weleft there and we came home to
real life and it was a vast dropoff of that cliff, and so this
is a natural response to some ofyou may be feeling sad and
empty and man, I got to takedown the Christmas decorations
and just the dread that iscoming.
(05:14):
You might be finding yourselftired, low on energy as you
adjust back to your routine.
And I think it's reallyimportant here to mention that
you should be adjusting to yourroutine sleep routine, eat
routine, those kinds of thingsbecause that is just good for
you.
Anyway lived in the last fourto six weeks as you adjust back
(05:47):
into just your normal lifewithout all these extra things.
It's going to be feel weird toyou, but you're going to feel
low on energy, and that islikely because when we do things
during the holidays and we getto see people that we've not
seen before, we're mostlyrunning off of adrenaline, and
when that adrenaline is notthere anymore, your body will
pay that price and will tell youthat story.
So make sure that you arepracticing really good sleep
(06:08):
hygiene dark bedroom, coldbedroom, try not to be around
blue lights, try not to bescrolling on your phone, go to
bed at the same time, wake up atthe same time.
But if you're feeling tired andlow on energy as you're
adjusting back to this routine,feeling tired and low on energy
as you're adjusting back to thisroutine, know that that is very
(06:29):
normal.
Also, if you just kind of havethis sense of sadness or
emptiness, that's normal, right,because you have just been
going to parties and seeingfamilies and opening presents
and giving presents and going tochurch and listening to amazing
music, and now it's January 1st, and now what?
And so if you feel a sense ofsadness or emptiness, that is
(06:51):
very normal.
You're coming off of amountaintop of experience most
of you anyway and coming down tonormal life, and so if you feel
sad about that, know that thatis normal.
Don't try to run from it, don'tself-medicate it, don't cope
with it in some way.
That's unhealthy.
Just know that it's okay to besad.
It's okay to be just yourself,just on a bad day for a little
(07:18):
while, as you adjust back tolife that is not full of hopeful
, bustful activity like we haveat Christmas.
If you have a difficulty infocusing or feeling unmotivated,
especially at work, know thatthis is normal.
I'm recording this on Decemberthe 30th, and this is the week
when none of us really know whatday of the week it is, because
it is just a kind of a week ofweirdness.
And so if you are having adifficulty when you press play
(07:41):
on this feeling focused andunmotivated, that is super,
super normal, and so, if you'refeeling the holiday blues, there
are some things that you can doIn addition to what I'm always
going to mention to you, thanksto my friend, lauren Starnes, is
paying attention to yourmovement, paying attention to
your eating, paying attention toyour drinking, pay attention to
your sleeping.
Those things will set you up toget back onto life that is not
(08:05):
on the mountaintop like we oftenexperience during the Christmas
season.
To do that, I want you to setsome small, achievable goals for
the week, like I literally justwant to put on my tennis shoes
and walk outside for fiveminutes three times this week.
Easing back into that routinewith bite sized tasks will help
you regain the momentum that youmaybe feel like you have lost.
(08:29):
Also, take some time to reflecton the positive moments from the
holiday season.
This can be as simple asflipping through photos or
writing down a favorite memory.
This addresses more of thatsadness and that emptiness
feeling.
Do some creative projects, likeputting together collages or
putting together a memory bookor something that is just going
(08:50):
to make you smile when you look,if you were fortunate enough to
have a happy Christmas season,when you're able to look back at
all of the videos and thepictures that will do a lot for
your soul, as you're able tofind gratitude that you were
able to experience such a joyousexperience of Christmas.
Also, this is one of myfavorite things to do, and this
(09:11):
is something that I try to do365 days a year, not just in the
Christmas season.
I always try to have somethingto look forward to.
So if you're feeling sad andempty because of the holiday
season, you can.
You can do something byplanning something to look
forward to, whether it's just acoffee date with a friend, a day
trip or even just an evening toyourself with a good book or a
(09:32):
movie plan something to lookforward to.
I always have something on thecalendar.
I just had the opportunity justyesterday to have dinner with a
new friend of mine, and a habitthat I have learned from one of
my other friends was let's goahead and get the next date on
the calendar, and so we did that, and so now I have that to look
(09:54):
forward to.
And so, as you're navigatingsome sadness or emptiness, those
are some things that you can do, but the mostly you just need
to know that it's normal.
You probably also mostly needto understand that you are
likely sleep deprived and needsome rest.
And so if you're feeling tired,take some time to take care of
yourself.
Make sure that you're movingyour body, make sure that you're
(10:16):
eating good, healthy foods,make sure you're drinking plenty
of water and make sure you'regetting plenty of sleep.
So that is one reason why youmight be feeling down during the
holiday or after the holidaysis because you had such an
amazing time that this thatyou're coming down off at the
mountaintop.
But what about those of you thathad to navigate familial
(10:38):
triggers during the holidays?
You know, for many of us, theholidays do bring us
geographically closer to family,and that can be, most the time,
a blessing, but can also be achallenge.
Because even in the most lovingfamily, we know that old
patterns, unresolved tensionsand differing values can
resurface, and it leaves usemotionally drained.
(11:00):
And so you sometimes come offof the Christmas season after.
You know, faking it untilyou're making it and just really
trying to keep the peace, isthat you're extremely tired or
even just a feeling of unease.
(11:21):
And so if you had some weirdexchanges with your family
during the holidays that aretriggering you a little bit,
just know that you have peoplein a room that have these shared
past experiences and theseshared unresolved conflict, and
(11:46):
so it's going to stir up someissues and it can come across as
argumentative or people beingpassive, aggressive or just
feeling like I don't even wantto be here with anybody anymore.
And so if you had an unfortunatefamilial trigger during the
holidays and you're feeling somekind of way because of that,
there's some things that you cando, and the first thing you
need to do is give yourselfpermission to feel those
emotions.
Acknowledge the frustration,acknowledge the sadness,
(12:11):
acknowledge the anger.
And here's the thing and Ilearned this, I would say, in
2024.
Acknowledge it without judgment.
So, if you're feeling madbecause of a familial trigger
you had, or you're feeling sad,or you're feeling nothing, or
you're feeling nothing.
Don't assign any judgment to it.
Sit in it, because the only waythrough that is through it.
And so you need to giveyourself permission to feel
(12:33):
those emotions and not feel likeyou need to set aside those
emotions because maybe somebody,somewhere, taught you that you
shouldn't feel that way.
If you're feeling sad at the endof the holidays because of some
of these triggers that you had,I think it's really important
for you to make sure that yougive yourself permission to feel
these things.
Also, you might have learnedsome things during these
(12:54):
holidays.
Maybe next year you will setsome boundary for future
interactions with people thatmay have triggered you during
the holidays and I hope that youwill learn that it is okay to
say no to situations that aregoing to be triggering to you.
And so, as you think back tosome triggering situations that
(13:16):
you may have during theseholidays, as you're giving
yourself permission to feelthose emotions, you may want to
journal somewhere, hey, nextyear make sure that I am not
alone with X and so that you setthese boundaries and so that,
going into next year, that youjust say no to the things that
are going to potentially put youin these triggering situations
that are going to potentiallyput you in these triggering
(13:36):
situations.
Also, if you're trying to justkind of navigate that during
this past holiday, make sure youand you're going to hear me say
that a couple times in thisepisode make sure that you're
engaging in some self-carepractices.
You could be journaling aboutthe experiences, praying about
it, maybe even talking tofriends about it, talking to
your therapist about it, butthose are, those are self care
(13:58):
practices after being triggeredfamilial like this that can
actually turn into good for youand growth for you, instead of
you shaming yourself for feelingthose feelings and those
interactions that may havetriggered you.
Be grateful, I think that's.
That is that that goes withoutsaying for the positive aspects
of your family relationships.
But you do recognize thoseareas that need some work too,
(14:24):
and so for those of you that aredealing with some of those
things, just know thatnavigating these familial
triggers can be tough, but whenyou reflect on the moments and
planning for future interactions, you can actually use what
you're feeling in the gut ofyour stomach right now to make
(14:44):
the future better.
You can reduce the stress andprotect your emotional health
for the next holiday season asit pertains to these triggering
familial interactions.
And so we might be feeling sadjust because of the letdown.
We might be feeling sad becauseof these triggering familial
interactions.
You might be feeling sadbecause you, like me, were
navigating grief after theholidays.
(15:04):
For me, both, my mom died inDecember and, for those of you
who've been listening to thepodcast for a while, mama Bootsy
, somebody really close to me,was very sick this time last
year and died around this timeof year, and so the holidays are
always a really, really strongreminder to me of loved ones
(15:25):
that I have lost, and maybethat's true for you too.
And then so once all the youknow the mountaintop experience
of the season ends, thosefeelings of grief are still here
, and I know that's true for me.
They stay around, and they'reeven felt more intensely now,
because they that I don't havequite literally, you know,
rainbows and butterflies, or orglitter and lights, if you want
(15:48):
to do the Christian version ofthat.
Now, it's just life, and I'mstill left here with my grief.
You're still left here withyour grief, and so, whether it's
the first holiday seasonwithout someone or somebody like
my mom that died 30 years ago,grief is just amplified during
this time.
It's really important, guys,that you acknowledge that, that
(16:08):
you acknowledge that grief isnatural and ongoing process.
It's really important, ifyou're feeling sad after the
holidays due to grief, that youhonor those feelings instead of
suppressing them.
If you need to cry, that's yourbody's way of letting it out
cry.
I encourage you to cry, allowyourself space to feel sad,
reflective and maybe even angry,because grief after the
(16:31):
holidays is something that wedon't talk enough about Because,
like I said, we've gone fromglitter and lights to normal
life and you're still left herewith your grief.
And so, if that's you issomething that we don't talk
enough about Because, like Isaid, we've gone from glitter
and lights to normal life andyou're still left here with your
grief.
And so, if that's you, I hopethat you will give yourself some
space to be in that place.
But some things that you canhelp to navigate it is create
some rituals to honor your lovedones.
(16:52):
I've seen some really coolthings done with this as it
pertains to ornaments on treesand things like that.
Seek connection with others whounderstand people that share
your grief.
Talking to people who haveshared those experiences that
only you guys know because youlost the same person, can be
(17:12):
comforting after the holidaysand help you make sure that you
are connecting with other people.
I'm going to talk again aboutself care.
Grief is literally physicallyexhausting.
You really need to prioritizerest and nutrition and movement.
Like we've said many, manytimes already, if you during
this, after this holiday season,are dealing with grief and
(17:36):
obviously if the grief becomescompletely overwhelming and
doesn't get better, you knowwhat I'm going to say you need
to go get some help.
But there's no timeline forgrief and it's okay to ask for
support, it's okay to take thesesteps to take care of yourself,
as we are now going into thenormal part of the year without
all of the mountaintopexperiences, and so if you're
(17:57):
feeling sad just because we'recoming off of that mountaintop
experience, or you're feelingsad because you're you had some
familial triggers, or you'refeeling sad because, like me,
you had some grief during theholidays and it happens to be an
anniversary of something thatyou remember every year, I hope
that you are finding some hopeand knowing that you're not
alone and that, while there aremany answers to these things,
(18:20):
the most important one, the onethat you're going to hear the
most, is taking care of yourself, and that we have an episode
when the body talks, and that iswith my friend, lauren Starnes
has been a game changer for meand the year 2024.
Paying attention to what I, howmuch I move, paying attention
to my eating habits, payingattention to my drinking and
(18:41):
hydration and pay attention tomy sleep that spells meds, guys,
and I just think that's.
That was something pointed outto me by Dr Pettit, actually.
And so if you're feeling sadoff of after the Christmas
season.
I highly encourage you to hyperfocus on taking care of
yourself.
The other thing I did want tomention, because we do have
(19:01):
listeners all around the world,and in the United States
especially.
We are headed into January, andeven in Florida, I think next
week is supposed to be like 90degrees here in Florida, and so
we're, you know, the days areshorter, we wake up, you go to
work in dark and we come home indark, and so let's talk quickly
about seasonal affectivedisorder, which is just more
(19:22):
than the winter blues.
Seasonal affective disorder isthis type of depression that is
linked to the seasonal changes,and it's really really common in
these fall and winter monthsand less sunlight.
Seasonal affective disorderaffects people due to exposure
to sunlight, actually, and whichis interesting because it does
(19:42):
disrupt our body's internalclock, and so then what happens
is you get lower serotoninlevels, serotonin being one of
the happy neurotransmitters inyour brain.
You have less of that to drawfrom, and so your mood is highly
affected by lower serotoninlevels.
You might be asking how do Iknow if I have SAD?
(20:03):
You know if you've got apersistent low mood.
You don't have any interest inthings that you normally enjoy.
You are isolating, you're nottaking care of your ADLs, like
brushing your teeth, taking ashower.
That kind of thing Changes inyour appetite, changes in your
sleep, like you're sleeping toomuch or too little.
Those are.
These are some things thatcould indicate, especially if
(20:24):
you live in areas that that arecold and you know for months on
end might be something to thinkabout, because anybody can
experience that, but it is moremore common in people that live
in those regions with longwinters with minimal sunlight
not Florida for the most part,but there are some really cool
ways to manage SAD and justbriefly share a little about
(20:49):
those with.
That with you is light therapy,exercise, connection and,
obviously, professional help.
I want to end this podcast thefirst of 2025, with an
encouragement for all of us toset some mental health goals for
the new year, and so we'vetalked in this episode some
practical ways of navigatingpost holiday blues.
(21:10):
Whether that be just because ofthe mountaintop experience and
now you're just in normal life,or you had some really weird and
uncomfortable familial triggers, or you were navigating grief
during the holidays, or if youare now dealing with seasonal
affective disorder, all of thosehave ways to, are ways that we
(21:32):
can really be, really have tofocus on taking care of
ourselves and our mental healthas we go through these winter
months, and so you're not aloneif you're feeling a letdown
after the holidays for any ofthose reasons, and we've talked
in this episode about how youcan take care of yourself with
that.
But as we move on to the newyear, it is a great time for us
(21:54):
to set intentions for improvingour mental health.
These goals don't have to behuge.
They can be small, actionablesteps.
I was talking to somebody todayand I said you know what I'm
only going to take.
The next step that is lit forme and that takes so much stress
out of what the future holds isthe next step will be lit for
(22:15):
me and I will take that one.
But we are going to set somemental health goals and so, for
example, practice mindfulnessdaily, and you guys don't have
to tell me on social media ifyou're, if you're, if you pick
up on any of these, but I'd loveto know if you're going to do
any of these, but these are somethat I had written down.
Practice mindfulness daily,even for just five minutes, so I
(22:38):
have this app on my phone is byjohn Eldridge, and every day at
10.
And at two it buzzes and itsays hey, it's time for your one
minute pause.
Do you guys know?
I don't ever do it, ever, andso I want to do that.
So I'm going to say practicemindfulness daily, even if it's
just for two minutes.
Even if I just did the mindfulpause at 10 and at two, that
(23:01):
would be two minutes, and thatis a time when we say a prayer
Jesus, I give everything andeverybody to you.
And so practice mindfulnessdaily is a good mental health
goal.
Also, we talk about this a lotmovement commit to regular
physical activity.
Also, we talk about this a lotmovement commit to regular
physical activity, such asweekly walks, daily walks or
yoga sessions.
I tell people at the hospitalall the time and this is
(23:23):
something that I learned when Iwent through that program with
Lauren when the body talks isabout movement was when I would
go for a walk.
I would make it about making ita cardio event, when really I
needed to be making it justmoving my body event so that the
trauma that is stuck or theanxiety that is stuck can get
moved out.
And so when I walk now.
(23:44):
I walk slowly and deliberately,moving both of my arms and kind
of a swaying motion not weird,but you know where.
I'm moving as much of my bodyas I can to move some of that
angst through, and so committingto regular physical activity is
a good goal.
That's one that I'm going to do.
Prioritize sleep by setting aconsistent bedtime and creating
(24:04):
a relaxing nighttime routine.
We'll probably do an episode ortwo on sleep hygiene on here,
but good goal would be toprioritize sleep journal, if you
don't already.
Also make a list of people whosupport you and reach out to one
of those people every week.
I love that one.
Um, this was just an idea thatcame to me was like you know
(24:26):
what, if I just once a weekreached out to somebody who
supported me, I would havesomebody to talk to every week.
And so make a list of peoplethat support you and reach out
to them one time each week.
Limit, limit screen time.
Remember what we talk aboutsometimes on this podcast
abandon, excuse me, divert daily.
Put it down for an hour a day.
Withdraw weekly.
(24:47):
Put it down for a whole day andabandon annually.
Put it away for a week, andwhat we mean by that is, you can
have your phone for like textwith your friends, but no
scrolling, no media, no socialmedia, no, nothing like that.
Limit screen time is a goodmental health goal.
Also, go into this year with agoal to learn something new,
like a hobby or skill.
(25:08):
Finally, check in regularlywith a therapist or a counselor
if you need it.
So, guys, this podcast has beenkind of just that kind of
podcast for the family.
If you are feeling some kind ofway after the holidays.
I hope that you have found somehope and some help in this
episode.
I also hope that you will thinkabout some of these mental
(25:30):
health goals that I talked aboutthat are on my list.
But, most importantly, I wantyou to know that you are so
known and you're so heard andloved and valued and seen, and
so I don't know really what 2025has to bring us on the podcast,
with the exception of ourgenerational trauma series.
(25:51):
But I do believe that by thistime next year, I will have
earned that doctorate degreebecause the dissertation will be
done, and so, for those of youthat are along for the journey,
I am so grateful.
For those of you who are new,welcome.
This is the wednesdays withwatson, and we will be back in
two weeks.
You guys are seen, known, heard, loved, and that will never
(26:35):
change.
Every moment, every way, oh, Ineed you, lord, and that will
never change.
Oh, that will never change.
You're my fortress, you're myhiding place, you're the shelter
(27:09):
where I am saved.
You have freed me, you havecalled me by name, my Redeemer,
my saving grace.
Every hour of every day, oh, Ineed you, lord, and that will
(27:36):
never change.
Every moment, in every way, oh,I need you, lord, and that will
never change.
Faithful, that's who you areMore than able to care for my
(28:05):
heart.
Father and friend.
Live till the end.
You are faithful, oh, god, oh.
And faithful, that's who youare More than able To care for
(28:29):
my heart, father and friend.
There to the end, you arefaithful, oh, god, god.
And every hour and every day,oh, I need you Lord, and that
(28:58):
will never change.
And every moment, in every way,oh, I need you Lord, and that
will never change.
Oh, that will never change.
Yeah, that will never change.
(29:23):
Oh, that will never change.
Hey everybody, and welcome back to the Wednesdays
with Watson podcast.
It is December, the actually,when you're listening to this,
it is January, the 1st, 2025.
Happy New Year, guys.
It has been a good year in somany ways, but now, as we embark
on another year, I am soexcited to see what this year
(00:27):
will bring for us.
If you're new to the podcast,thank you so much for listening.
I do hope that you will hitthat subscribe button or follow
button right there while you'rein your podcast app, so that you
could be sure that you knowwhen we drop new episodes.
Guys, we are nearing five yearsof the Wednesdays with Watson
podcast, and I can hardlybelieve the opportunity that
(00:48):
we've had all around the worldto be in the earbuds of people
who listen because they want tounderstand how to navigate this
life with trauma and faith, andso we are going to continue to
do that.
For today's episode, though,that is dropping on New Year's
Day, I wanted for us to justtalk a little bit about some
(01:10):
things that are very significantto this time of year, and so I
hope that you will stay tunedhere and drop into this episode
with me as we talk about thepost-holiday letdown we're going
to talk about how we canapproach what is the inevitable
post holiday letdown?
Also, what about those familytriggers that happen at your
(01:33):
family outings when you werespending time with the holidays?
What about those of you, likeme, who had some grief during
the holidays?
Maybe this was an anniversaryof a death and this time of year
is always hard for you.
What about that?
How about understandingseasonal affective disorder?
For those of you guys not inthe sunshine state, like I am
(01:57):
here in Florida, what isseasonal affective disorder?
How are some ways that we canmanage it?
And then, finally, we can setsome goals, some mental health
goals, for the new year.
And so, since this episode isdropping on January 1, I wanted
it to be one that was timely.
We do plan to drop back intoour series of generational
(02:17):
trauma.
We had our one episode withMama Gowan that will be linked
in the show notes for the silentgeneration and how they handle
trauma, and then next up will bethe baby boomers.
But we've taken a little bit ofa break and wanted to be a
little bit more relevant to thetime in the last couple episodes
, and so let's drop into thispodcast about these things that
(02:38):
we all are going to deal withnow that we are in the new year
and, for the most part, theholidays are behind us.
Well, we did it, guys.
It is January 1st 2025, and theholidays are officially behind
us.
I don't know about you, but itseemed like it was literally
(03:01):
just the 4th of July and now weare in a new year.
So the holidays are just such atime.
It's often a whirlwind ofactivity, connection that we
normally don't have, right withfamily.
We're seeing people more atchurch than we do often and,
more important than that, theholidays bring with it somehow,
with the flip of the calendar,this extremely high expectation
(03:24):
that things have to be perfectand that we we have to be all
things to all people.
And it's just really we setourselves up for disaster after
the holidays, hence the postholiday letdown, because when
the decorations come down andwe're not having church 185
times a week and the music maybeisn't as happy on our radios or
(03:48):
we don't have twinkling lightsin our house, when those things
happen and life returns tonormal, it is so, so common for
us to feel this sense of sadnessand even emptiness, because the
just the hope that the holidaybrings and people are usually in
better moods and it's just anamazing, magical time of year,
(04:09):
no matter what way you look atit.
And then January 1st hits andwe are staring down the barrel
of winter and sadness and maybeeven some feeling of emptiness
as we settle into our livesafter having just an amazing
time with our friends and family.
Or maybe, if you strugglethrough those times, then you're
walking into another struggle.
(04:29):
So we do know that there's thisthing called the post-holiday
blues, and I think the thingthat is most important to talk
about here is that this is avery natural response, and so,
if you're feeling that this is avery natural response, it
reminds me a lot of when we usedto go to summer camp, and
summer camp was amazing, youknow.
We got to spend time with ourfriends and and they kept us
(04:53):
busy until we dropped and mostof us heard some of the best
preaching of our lives and weleft there and we came home to
real life and it was a vast dropoff of that cliff, and so this
is a natural response to some ofyou may be feeling sad and
empty and man, I got to takedown the Christmas decorations
and just the dread that iscoming.
(05:14):
You might be finding yourselftired, low on energy as you
adjust back to your routine.
And I think it's reallyimportant here to mention that
you should be adjusting to yourroutine sleep routine, eat
routine, those kinds of thingsbecause that is just good for
you.
Anyway lived in the last fourto six weeks as you adjust back
(05:47):
into just your normal lifewithout all these extra things.
It's going to be feel weird toyou, but you're going to feel
low on energy, and that islikely because when we do things
during the holidays and we getto see people that we've not
seen before, we're mostlyrunning off of adrenaline, and
when that adrenaline is notthere anymore, your body will
pay that price and will tell youthat story.
So make sure that you arepracticing really good sleep
(06:08):
hygiene dark bedroom, coldbedroom, try not to be around
blue lights, try not to bescrolling on your phone, go to
bed at the same time, wake up atthe same time.
But if you're feeling tired andlow on energy as you're
adjusting back to this routine,feeling tired and low on energy
as you're adjusting back to thisroutine, know that that is very
(06:29):
normal.
Also, if you just kind of havethis sense of sadness or
emptiness, that's normal, right,because you have just been
going to parties and seeingfamilies and opening presents
and giving presents and going tochurch and listening to amazing
music, and now it's January 1st, and now what?
And so if you feel a sense ofsadness or emptiness, that is
(06:51):
very normal.
You're coming off of amountaintop of experience most
of you anyway and coming down tonormal life, and so if you feel
sad about that, know that thatis normal.
Don't try to run from it, don'tself-medicate it, don't cope
with it in some way.
That's unhealthy.
Just know that it's okay to besad.
It's okay to be just yourself,just on a bad day for a little
(07:18):
while, as you adjust back tolife that is not full of hopeful
, bustful activity like we haveat Christmas.
If you have a difficulty infocusing or feeling unmotivated,
especially at work, know thatthis is normal.
I'm recording this on Decemberthe 30th, and this is the week
when none of us really know whatday of the week it is, because
it is just a kind of a week ofweirdness.
And so if you are having adifficulty when you press play
(07:41):
on this feeling focused andunmotivated, that is super,
super normal, and so, if you'refeeling the holiday blues, there
are some things that you can doIn addition to what I'm always
going to mention to you, thanksto my friend, lauren Starnes, is
paying attention to yourmovement, paying attention to
your eating, paying attention toyour drinking, pay attention to
your sleeping.
Those things will set you up toget back onto life that is not
(08:05):
on the mountaintop like we oftenexperience during the Christmas
season.
To do that, I want you to setsome small, achievable goals for
the week, like I literally justwant to put on my tennis shoes
and walk outside for fiveminutes three times this week.
Easing back into that routinewith bite sized tasks will help
you regain the momentum that youmaybe feel like you have lost.
(08:29):
Also, take some time to reflecton the positive moments from the
holiday season.
This can be as simple asflipping through photos or
writing down a favorite memory.
This addresses more of thatsadness and that emptiness
feeling.
Do some creative projects, likeputting together collages or
putting together a memory bookor something that is just going
(08:50):
to make you smile when you look,if you were fortunate enough to
have a happy Christmas season,when you're able to look back at
all of the videos and thepictures that will do a lot for
your soul, as you're able tofind gratitude that you were
able to experience such a joyousexperience of Christmas.
Also, this is one of myfavorite things to do, and this
(09:11):
is something that I try to do365 days a year, not just in the
Christmas season.
I always try to have somethingto look forward to.
So if you're feeling sad andempty because of the holiday
season, you can.
You can do something byplanning something to look
forward to, whether it's just acoffee date with a friend, a day
trip or even just an evening toyourself with a good book or a
(09:32):
movie plan something to lookforward to.
I always have something on thecalendar.
I just had the opportunity justyesterday to have dinner with a
new friend of mine, and a habitthat I have learned from one of
my other friends was let's goahead and get the next date on
the calendar, and so we did that, and so now I have that to look
(09:54):
forward to.
And so, as you're navigatingsome sadness or emptiness, those
are some things that you can do, but the mostly you just need
to know that it's normal.
You probably also mostly needto understand that you are
likely sleep deprived and needsome rest.
And so if you're feeling tired,take some time to take care of
yourself.
Make sure that you're movingyour body, make sure that you're
(10:16):
eating good, healthy foods,make sure you're drinking plenty
of water and make sure you'regetting plenty of sleep.
So that is one reason why youmight be feeling down during the
holiday or after the holidaysis because you had such an
amazing time that this thatyou're coming down off at the
mountaintop.
But what about those of you thathad to navigate familial
(10:38):
triggers during the holidays?
You know, for many of us, theholidays do bring us
geographically closer to family,and that can be, most the time,
a blessing, but can also be achallenge.
Because even in the most lovingfamily, we know that old
patterns, unresolved tensionsand differing values can
resurface, and it leaves usemotionally drained.
(11:00):
And so you sometimes come offof the Christmas season after.
You know, faking it untilyou're making it and just really
trying to keep the peace, isthat you're extremely tired or
even just a feeling of unease.
(11:21):
And so if you had some weirdexchanges with your family
during the holidays that aretriggering you a little bit,
just know that you have peoplein a room that have these shared
past experiences and theseshared unresolved conflict, and
(11:46):
so it's going to stir up someissues and it can come across as
argumentative or people beingpassive, aggressive or just
feeling like I don't even wantto be here with anybody anymore.
And so if you had an unfortunatefamilial trigger during the
holidays and you're feeling somekind of way because of that,
there's some things that you cando, and the first thing you
need to do is give yourselfpermission to feel those
emotions.
Acknowledge the frustration,acknowledge the sadness,
(12:11):
acknowledge the anger.
And here's the thing and Ilearned this, I would say, in
2024.
Acknowledge it without judgment.
So, if you're feeling madbecause of a familial trigger
you had, or you're feeling sad,or you're feeling nothing, or
you're feeling nothing.
Don't assign any judgment to it.
Sit in it, because the only waythrough that is through it.
And so you need to giveyourself permission to feel
(12:33):
those emotions and not feel likeyou need to set aside those
emotions because maybe somebody,somewhere, taught you that you
shouldn't feel that way.
If you're feeling sad at the endof the holidays because of some
of these triggers that you had,I think it's really important
for you to make sure that yougive yourself permission to feel
these things.
Also, you might have learnedsome things during these
(12:54):
holidays.
Maybe next year you will setsome boundary for future
interactions with people thatmay have triggered you during
the holidays and I hope that youwill learn that it is okay to
say no to situations that aregoing to be triggering to you.
And so, as you think back tosome triggering situations that
(13:16):
you may have during theseholidays, as you're giving
yourself permission to feelthose emotions, you may want to
journal somewhere, hey, nextyear make sure that I am not
alone with X and so that you setthese boundaries and so that,
going into next year, that youjust say no to the things that
are going to potentially put youin these triggering situations
that are going to potentiallyput you in these triggering
(13:36):
situations.
Also, if you're trying to justkind of navigate that during
this past holiday, make sure youand you're going to hear me say
that a couple times in thisepisode make sure that you're
engaging in some self-carepractices.
You could be journaling aboutthe experiences, praying about
it, maybe even talking tofriends about it, talking to
your therapist about it, butthose are, those are self care
(13:58):
practices after being triggeredfamilial like this that can
actually turn into good for youand growth for you, instead of
you shaming yourself for feelingthose feelings and those
interactions that may havetriggered you.
Be grateful, I think that's.
That is that that goes withoutsaying for the positive aspects
of your family relationships.
But you do recognize thoseareas that need some work too,
(14:24):
and so for those of you that aredealing with some of those
things, just know thatnavigating these familial
triggers can be tough, but whenyou reflect on the moments and
planning for future interactions, you can actually use what
you're feeling in the gut ofyour stomach right now to make
(14:44):
the future better.
You can reduce the stress andprotect your emotional health
for the next holiday season asit pertains to these triggering
familial interactions.
And so we might be feeling sadjust because of the letdown.
We might be feeling sad becauseof these triggering familial
interactions.
You might be feeling sadbecause you, like me, were
navigating grief after theholidays.
(15:04):
For me, both, my mom died inDecember and, for those of you
who've been listening to thepodcast for a while, mama Bootsy
, somebody really close to me,was very sick this time last
year and died around this timeof year, and so the holidays are
always a really, really strongreminder to me of loved ones
(15:25):
that I have lost, and maybethat's true for you too.
And then so once all the youknow the mountaintop experience
of the season ends, thosefeelings of grief are still here
, and I know that's true for me.
They stay around, and they'reeven felt more intensely now,
because they that I don't havequite literally, you know,
rainbows and butterflies, or orglitter and lights, if you want
(15:48):
to do the Christian version ofthat.
Now, it's just life, and I'mstill left here with my grief.
You're still left here withyour grief, and so, whether it's
the first holiday seasonwithout someone or somebody like
my mom that died 30 years ago,grief is just amplified during
this time.
It's really important, guys,that you acknowledge that, that
(16:08):
you acknowledge that grief isnatural and ongoing process.
It's really important, ifyou're feeling sad after the
holidays due to grief, that youhonor those feelings instead of
suppressing them.
If you need to cry, that's yourbody's way of letting it out
cry.
I encourage you to cry, allowyourself space to feel sad,
reflective and maybe even angry,because grief after the
(16:31):
holidays is something that wedon't talk enough about Because,
like I said, we've gone fromglitter and lights to normal
life and you're still left herewith your grief.
And so, if that's you issomething that we don't talk
enough about Because, like Isaid, we've gone from glitter
and lights to normal life andyou're still left here with your
grief.
And so, if that's you, I hopethat you will give yourself some
space to be in that place.
But some things that you canhelp to navigate it is create
some rituals to honor your lovedones.
(16:52):
I've seen some really coolthings done with this as it
pertains to ornaments on treesand things like that.
Seek connection with others whounderstand people that share
your grief.
Talking to people who haveshared those experiences that
only you guys know because youlost the same person, can be
(17:12):
comforting after the holidaysand help you make sure that you
are connecting with other people.
I'm going to talk again aboutself care.
Grief is literally physicallyexhausting.
You really need to prioritizerest and nutrition and movement.
Like we've said many, manytimes already, if you during
this, after this holiday season,are dealing with grief and
(17:36):
obviously if the grief becomescompletely overwhelming and
doesn't get better, you knowwhat I'm going to say you need
to go get some help.
But there's no timeline forgrief and it's okay to ask for
support, it's okay to take thesesteps to take care of yourself,
as we are now going into thenormal part of the year without
all of the mountaintopexperiences, and so if you're
(17:57):
feeling sad just because we'recoming off of that mountaintop
experience, or you're feelingsad because you're you had some
familial triggers, or you'refeeling sad because, like me,
you had some grief during theholidays and it happens to be an
anniversary of something thatyou remember every year, I hope
that you are finding some hopeand knowing that you're not
alone and that, while there aremany answers to these things,
(18:20):
the most important one, the onethat you're going to hear the
most, is taking care of yourself, and that we have an episode
when the body talks, and that iswith my friend, lauren Starnes
has been a game changer for meand the year 2024.
Paying attention to what I, howmuch I move, paying attention
to my eating habits, payingattention to my drinking and
(18:41):
hydration and pay attention tomy sleep that spells meds, guys,
and I just think that's.
That was something pointed outto me by Dr Pettit, actually.
And so if you're feeling sadoff of after the Christmas
season.
I highly encourage you to hyperfocus on taking care of
yourself.
The other thing I did want tomention, because we do have
(19:01):
listeners all around the world,and in the United States
especially.
We are headed into January, andeven in Florida, I think next
week is supposed to be like 90degrees here in Florida, and so
we're, you know, the days areshorter, we wake up, you go to
work in dark and we come home indark, and so let's talk quickly
about seasonal affectivedisorder, which is just more
(19:22):
than the winter blues.
Seasonal affective disorder isthis type of depression that is
linked to the seasonal changes,and it's really really common in
these fall and winter monthsand less sunlight.
Seasonal affective disorderaffects people due to exposure
to sunlight, actually, and whichis interesting because it does
(19:42):
disrupt our body's internalclock, and so then what happens
is you get lower serotoninlevels, serotonin being one of
the happy neurotransmitters inyour brain.
You have less of that to drawfrom, and so your mood is highly
affected by lower serotoninlevels.
You might be asking how do Iknow if I have SAD?
(20:03):
You know if you've got apersistent low mood.
You don't have any interest inthings that you normally enjoy.
You are isolating, you're nottaking care of your ADLs, like
brushing your teeth, taking ashower.
That kind of thing Changes inyour appetite, changes in your
sleep, like you're sleeping toomuch or too little.
Those are.
These are some things thatcould indicate, especially if
(20:24):
you live in areas that that arecold and you know for months on
end might be something to thinkabout, because anybody can
experience that, but it is moremore common in people that live
in those regions with longwinters with minimal sunlight
not Florida for the most part,but there are some really cool
ways to manage SAD and justbriefly share a little about
(20:49):
those with.
That with you is light therapy,exercise, connection and,
obviously, professional help.
I want to end this podcast thefirst of 2025, with an
encouragement for all of us toset some mental health goals for
the new year, and so we'vetalked in this episode some
practical ways of navigatingpost holiday blues.
(21:10):
Whether that be just because ofthe mountaintop experience and
now you're just in normal life,or you had some really weird and
uncomfortable familial triggers, or you were navigating grief
during the holidays, or if youare now dealing with seasonal
affective disorder, all of thosehave ways to, are ways that we
(21:32):
can really be, really have tofocus on taking care of
ourselves and our mental healthas we go through these winter
months, and so you're not aloneif you're feeling a letdown
after the holidays for any ofthose reasons, and we've talked
in this episode about how youcan take care of yourself with
that.
But as we move on to the newyear, it is a great time for us
(21:54):
to set intentions for improvingour mental health.
These goals don't have to behuge.
They can be small, actionablesteps.
I was talking to somebody todayand I said you know what I'm
only going to take.
The next step that is lit forme and that takes so much stress
out of what the future holds isthe next step will be lit for
(22:15):
me and I will take that one.
But we are going to set somemental health goals and so, for
example, practice mindfulnessdaily, and you guys don't have
to tell me on social media ifyou're, if you're, if you pick
up on any of these, but I'd loveto know if you're going to do
any of these, but these are somethat I had written down.
Practice mindfulness daily,even for just five minutes, so I
(22:38):
have this app on my phone is byjohn Eldridge, and every day at
10.
And at two it buzzes and itsays hey, it's time for your one
minute pause.
Do you guys know?
I don't ever do it, ever, andso I want to do that.
So I'm going to say practicemindfulness daily, even if it's
just for two minutes.
Even if I just did the mindfulpause at 10 and at two, that
(23:01):
would be two minutes, and thatis a time when we say a prayer
Jesus, I give everything andeverybody to you.
And so practice mindfulnessdaily is a good mental health
goal.
Also, we talk about this a lotmovement commit to regular
physical activity.
Also, we talk about this a lotmovement commit to regular
physical activity, such asweekly walks, daily walks or
yoga sessions.
I tell people at the hospitalall the time and this is
(23:23):
something that I learned when Iwent through that program with
Lauren when the body talks isabout movement was when I would
go for a walk.
I would make it about making ita cardio event, when really I
needed to be making it justmoving my body event so that the
trauma that is stuck or theanxiety that is stuck can get
moved out.
And so when I walk now.
(23:44):
I walk slowly and deliberately,moving both of my arms and kind
of a swaying motion not weird,but you know where.
I'm moving as much of my bodyas I can to move some of that
angst through, and so committingto regular physical activity is
a good goal.
That's one that I'm going to do.
Prioritize sleep by setting aconsistent bedtime and creating
(24:04):
a relaxing nighttime routine.
We'll probably do an episode ortwo on sleep hygiene on here,
but good goal would be toprioritize sleep journal, if you
don't already.
Also make a list of people whosupport you and reach out to one
of those people every week.
I love that one.
Um, this was just an idea thatcame to me was like you know
(24:26):
what, if I just once a weekreached out to somebody who
supported me, I would havesomebody to talk to every week.
And so make a list of peoplethat support you and reach out
to them one time each week.
Limit, limit screen time.
Remember what we talk aboutsometimes on this podcast
abandon, excuse me, divert daily.
Put it down for an hour a day.
Withdraw weekly.
(24:47):
Put it down for a whole day andabandon annually.
Put it away for a week, andwhat we mean by that is, you can
have your phone for like textwith your friends, but no
scrolling, no media, no socialmedia, no, nothing like that.
Limit screen time is a goodmental health goal.
Also, go into this year with agoal to learn something new,
like a hobby or skill.
(25:08):
Finally, check in regularlywith a therapist or a counselor
if you need it.
So, guys, this podcast has beenkind of just that kind of
podcast for the family.
If you are feeling some kind ofway after the holidays.
I hope that you have found somehope and some help in this
episode.
I also hope that you will thinkabout some of these mental
(25:30):
health goals that I talked aboutthat are on my list.
But, most importantly, I wantyou to know that you are so
known and you're so heard andloved and valued and seen, and
so I don't know really what 2025has to bring us on the podcast,
with the exception of ourgenerational trauma series.
(25:51):
But I do believe that by thistime next year, I will have
earned that doctorate degreebecause the dissertation will be
done, and so, for those of youthat are along for the journey,
I am so grateful.
For those of you who are new,welcome.
This is the wednesdays withwatson, and we will be back in
two weeks.
You guys are seen, known, heard, loved, and that will never
(26:35):
change.
Every moment, every way, oh, Ineed you, lord, and that will
never change.
Oh, that will never change.
You're my fortress, you're myhiding place, you're the shelter
(27:09):
where I am saved.
You have freed me, you havecalled me by name, my Redeemer,
my saving grace.
Every hour of every day, oh, Ineed you, lord, and that will
(27:36):
never change.
Every moment, in every way, oh,I need you, lord, and that will
never change.
Faithful, that's who you areMore than able to care for my
(28:05):
heart.
Father and friend.
Live till the end.
You are faithful, oh, god, oh.
And faithful, that's who youare More than able To care for
(28:29):
my heart, father and friend.
There to the end, you arefaithful, oh, god, god.
And every hour and every day,oh, I need you Lord, and that
(28:58):
will never change.
And every moment, in every way,oh, I need you Lord, and that
will never change.
Oh, that will never change.
Yeah, that will never change.
(29:23):
Oh, that will never change.
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