July 23, 2025 • 31 mins
The journey through trauma is not simply about survival – it can become a pathway to profound personal transformation. In this deeply moving episode, Amy Watson reveals her own path from childhood abuse and a suicide attempt to becoming a trauma therapist and doctoral candidate, introducing listeners to the scientifically validated concept of post-traumatic growth.
While trauma itself is never a gift, the struggle with trauma can catalyze remarkable changes in those who face it directly rather than avoid it. This isn't wishful thinking or toxic positivity – it's a psychological phenomenon documented in hundreds of research studies. Amy walks us through the five domains where this growth commonly emerges: discovering unexpected personal strength, deepening meaningful relationships, finding new life possibilities, gaining profound appreciation for everyday joys, and developing deeper spiritual understanding.
What makes this conversation particularly powerful is Amy's transparency about her own experience – how the trauma that nearly destroyed her became the foundation for her life's purpose and deepest connections. She shares the pivotal moment when a friend told her she was "worth fighting for," highlighting how safe relationships become crucial anchors in the healing journey. Particularly striking is her honesty that post-traumatic growth can coexist with ongoing symptoms; healing isn't linear, and growth doesn't erase pain.
For anyone weathering the aftermath of trauma, this episode offers genuine hope without minimizing suffering. Amy provides practical insights for nurturing growth through storytelling, social support, reflective thinking, and faith, while cautioning against rushing the process or using the concept to dismiss others' pain. Her message resonates with compassionate authority: you are not broken, healing is possible, and there is something meaningful waiting on the other side of survival. If you're struggling to believe transformation is possible after trauma, this conversation might just change your perspective.
You ARE:
SEEN KNOWN HEARD LOVED VALUED
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Hey everybody and welcome back to the Wednesdays
with Watson podcast.
If you don't know by now, I amyour host and my name is Amy
Watson.
You have stumbled, maybe forthe first time, on the
Wednesdays with Watson podcast,and this is a podcast dedicated
to all things trauma and mentalhealth related.
As I mentioned, my name is Amyand I am your host, and this
(00:37):
podcast has been going sinceApril of 2020, and it is our
motivation and our direction,and our desire is to help those
of you out there living with theeffects of trauma and or severe
mental illness.
We are here to help On thispodcast.
We believe that the three C'sare all that gets us to where we
(00:58):
want to be, and we are going totalk about that in today's
episode.
Those three C's meaningcommunity, church and counseling
, and so today we're going totalk about something that we've
not discussed before on thepodcast, and so settle in and
let's drop into this episodeabout post-traumatic growth.
(01:19):
Okay, guys, as it turns out,there is an actual scientific
term for that which I haveexperienced as a survivor of a
(01:43):
lot of trauma and as a personwho was diagnosed with complex
post-traumatic stress disorderin 2007.
Today, I am here as an advocateand as a professional who works
with patients who have beentraumatized every day, and just
a few short months away frombeing Dr Amy Watson.
(02:06):
If you have listened at all tothis podcast, you know that that
should not be able to happen.
Why do I say that?
Well, just the cliff notes forthose of you who have not
listened to this podcast, andyou can find many episodes here
where I talk about parts of, insome cases, all of my story.
And what does this mean?
(02:27):
Why is it a big deal that I amable to do these things that I
only dreamt of doing so long ago?
Well, it is definitely becauseof Jesus, it is because of his
people, but it is also becauseof hard work that I have done,
and I am not uncomfortabletelling you that, because it has
been just that.
(02:48):
It has been hard work.
And so, to that end, whathappens when you put in the hard
work is post-traumatic growth.
This is a powerful,evidence-based concept that
offers hope to people like youwho have walked through the fire
and wondered, really wondered,if anything beautiful could
(03:09):
possibly grow from the ashes.
And, as I say that, I thinkabout that.
Those things that I have beenthrough, ranging from childhood
abuse in any form that you canthink of all the way through to
domestic violence.
Lots of loss, lots of grief,lots of anxiety, lots of
(03:30):
depression, a suicide attempt, ahospitalization in 2008.
That was five days after Itried to take my life, and so I
look at it so many years laterand I am grateful to the star of
the story, who is Jesus, who isthe ultimate catalyst for
post-traumatic growth.
I am grateful for his peopleand I am grateful here on the
(04:03):
other side of this microphone,just a little bit different from
those of you who have not hadthe opportunity to work through
those things that try to destroyyou.
But beauty can come from ashesand if you're under the sound of
my voice, you're hearing thatright now.
You're hearing that beauty.
You're hearing those thingsthat should not be able to
happen.
(04:23):
So, whether you're a traumasurvivor, whether you're a
clinician like myself, I am bothof those.
Whether you're a family memberof somebody who has been through
trauma or someone who is justcurious about what's possible
when we, when we, wrestle withtrauma, what, what do we?
What happens when wesuccessfully get on the other
side of working through ourtrauma?
(04:45):
If you are wondering any ofthose things, this episode is
for you, and I do want to say,though, something very clearly
is that post-traumatic growth isnot a silver lining.
That happens passively as aresult.
It is not some toxic positivething that we say and, more
importantly, if you'reexperiencing post traumatic
(05:06):
growth, it does not negate yourpain.
But post traumatic growth isreal, it is studied, and it is
something that many survivorscan, and often do, experience if
they are committed to theprocess of working through their
trauma, not avoiding theirtrauma, understanding that so
(05:28):
many times that the only waythrough is through.
So let's first talk about whatis post-traumatic growth.
The term post-traumatic growthwas first coined in the 1990s by
psychologists Richard Tedeschiand Lawrence Calhoun.
They noticed that many traumasurvivors didn't just recover,
(05:49):
but they actually becamestronger, wiser, and here's
where I really identify withpost-traumatic growth.
They became more purpose driventhan they were before their
trauma.
Post-traumatic growth is definedas a positive psychological
change that occurs.
Now this is really important tolisten to what I'm going to say
(06:11):
here.
It is a positive psychologicalchange that occurs as a result
of the struggle with highlychallenging life circumstances.
Now notice it didn't say thatit's a positive psychological
change that is the result ofhighly challenging circumstances
.
It's not a result of the traumaitself, but it is a result of
(06:35):
the struggle with that trauma.
Through it, only way through itis through it.
It's what happens when the hardwork of therapy, living in
community, processing, healing,going before the Lord, it is
what happens when that hard workbegins and continues.
(06:56):
It doesn't happen to everyoneand it doesn't mean that the
trauma is worth it, as we airquote when we say that.
But it does mean that our Godmade the human spirit remarkably
resilient.
And when you think of that inhistory, when you think of
survivors of the Holocaust, whenyou think of survivors of war,
(07:20):
when you think of survivors ofpestilence and famine, sometimes
you see incredibly strongpeople come out of those hard
times because of their strugglewith the hard time, because of
their refusal.
If you ask me one thing besidesGod himself, the star of the
story changing the narrative foryou, if you were to ask me what
(07:42):
is the one secret ingredient?
It would be not to avoid.
And that's really difficult.
Right, because PTSD, bydefinition, one of the things
that has to occur if we'rediagnosed in PTSD is the
(08:03):
avoidance of the trauma.
Right and so.
But we understand thatpost-traumatic growth comes from
not avoiding the trauma, notavoiding the struggle with the
trauma, and so that's reallyimportant.
So you've got to be in aposition where you can face the
things that happen to you andyou can wrestle with that
(08:25):
struggle of that trauma.
Both Tadishi and Calhounidentified five areas where
post-traumatic growth tends toshow up.
So let's walk through them, and, as I do, I want you to think
about whether this is true ofyou.
The first is personal strength.
Survivors often reportdiscovering a new inner strength
(08:47):
.
They say things like I neverknew that I could survive that,
but I did.
And I will tell you, guys, thatthere have been so many times
in my life not in the pastdecade or even the past 15 years
, but there have been so manytimes in my life when I was
shocked that I woke up in themorning because it was that bad,
(09:08):
the trauma was that bad, thestruggle with the trauma was
that bad, or my avoidance of allof it included some sort of
drug induced situation where I'mliterally surprised that I woke
up.
And so I look at those timesnow.
Some of that trauma happenedwhen I was seven years old, so
(09:28):
40 years ago.
When I think about all thethings that I've been through, I
will absolutely say I neverknew that I could survive that,
but I did.
Now, as a Christian, I willabsolutely tell you that that
survival came because of thestar of the story, jesus, who
showed up and sent his peopleand gave me the desire to fight,
but, at the same time, I had todecide to fight and that
(09:53):
happened.
And I tell this story many,many times, and I don't often go
a week at work where I don'tthink about this story that I'm
getting ready to tell you.
When I was hospitalized in 2008, one of my friends came to me
and one of the things that shesaid to me when she left she
gave me a hug and I said thankyou for coming and she said to
me you are worth fighting forand that I look back on and I
(10:19):
say it to patients at least oncea week now at the hospital you
are worth fighting for and so,if you're under the sound of my
voice, remember that you areworth fighting for yourself.
Right, I can fight for you,people can fight for you, but
you have to fight for yourself.
It is a worthy fight becauseyou will discover the resilience
(10:40):
, the resistance that God placedin you to survive the
atrocities that this lifesometimes can bring to us.
So personal strength, closerrelationships.
Now, it is true that our traumacan highlight bad relationships
and ones that we should walkaway from, but it also can
clarify.
This is so huge, this is sohuge.
(11:02):
It can also clarify who trulyshows up for you and that I can
tell you from personalexperience, as I look back over
the past 15 years and the peoplethat have steadily been there
with me.
Whether it's the unsolicitedtext message, an invitation to
lunch, the hug, whatever it is,we know who showed up for us and
(11:27):
we know who did not.
And those people who showed upfor us, you are connected to us
for the rest of your lifebecause that's the kind of
loyalty that this brings.
This is post traumatic growth.
It can deepen, deepen, deepen,meaningful relationships.
It sometimes leads to deeperconnections with others, and
(11:51):
especially those who understandsuffering.
So we get personal strengththat we didn't know we had.
We get closer relationshipsbecause we realize who showed up
for us and who did not.
We understand that there arenew possibilities.
Man, this is huge for me.
I never in a million yearsthought that I could be doing
(12:14):
what I'm doing right now, whichis working in a hospital, which
was always my dream, which isbeing a doctor, even though I'm
not going to be a medical doctor.
I am oh so close to that.
Healing, just healing.
I've got a private practice invictory, trauma counseling just
the things that are available tome now that weren't available
when I started all of this hardwork.
(12:35):
It's absolutely mind blowing tome and it reminds me of that,
that verse Ephesians 320, wherethe Bible says that he is able
to do, exceedingly andabundantly all that we could ask
or think.
And when I look back on what Ithought that I would be doing, I
didn't even think I'd be aliveat 53 years old guys.
But to know that I next Maywill walk across the stage at
(12:58):
Liberty University and be hoodedDr Amy Watson, is mind blowing
to me and, by definition, posttraumatic growth.
Oh, I am so grateful to the Lord.
I am so grateful to Jesus, whois the star of the story.
I am grateful to those peoplewho showed up and continue to
show up for me.
I continue.
(13:19):
I am so grateful for the peoplethat pray for me.
I am grateful for the peoplewho walk this road with me, the
people that I can be myself with.
I am so grateful, and I neverthought that those relationships
would be possible.
I never thought that thisvocation could be possible,
never even really considered adoctorate degree.
But here we are post traumaticgrowth, and so not only do we
(13:43):
get personal strength that wedidn't know we had, not only are
the relationships that matterbrought closer, but we
understand that the sky is thelimit for us.
They pursue new careers thatwould be me creative outlets we
started this podcast five yearsago advocacy roles an entirely
(14:03):
new path that they would havenever considered before.
Oh, the possibilities for thosewho want to be on the other
side of all the bad right.
These two scientists, these twodoctors also realized that there
was an appreciation for life.
After trauma.
They found that small joysbecame more precious.
(14:26):
Survivors often describednoticing beauty in the ordinary
things that they didn't before,and that is so true.
A sunrise, a sunset, a body ofwater.
Yesterday I was late for churchand so I ended up just grabbing
my hammock and going to thepark and throwing my hammock up
between these two massive oaktrees, looking out on the Gulf.
(14:48):
I live in the Tampa Bay areaand just the appreciation for
the sun glistening off of thewater, the warmth of the sun,
the cool of the breeze, it wasjust like unbelievable.
And for somebody who did notwant to be alive to the tune of
taking handfuls of pills, anappreciation for life is
definitely part of my story.
(15:10):
These doctors also in additionto personal strength and closer
relationships and newpossibilities, appreciation for
life.
They saw that people withpost-traumatic growth it shook
their belief system.
People with post-traumaticgrowth.
It shook their belief systembut then it led to a deeper or
(15:31):
redefined spirituality, faith orworldview.
And I think about what mystruggle with trauma did for my
faith.
I will never forget when I,early on, right after I first
got out of my domestic violencemarriage and I was standing by a
closet that was filled witht-shirts from vacations that we
(15:54):
had gone together and the painjust overtook me and I slid down
the wall and I just sat therefor hours and did battle with
the Lord and I remembered likingit in my mind to the wrestling
match that Jacob had with theangel and Jacob said I will not
(16:14):
let go until you bless me.
And that's what it was like forme that night, I went from
wondering whether God stillexisted to a sweet communion
with him, begging him to walk methrough what seemed like was
going to take me over, and itdid.
It deepened my faith with Jesus.
It deepened it.
(16:36):
I am so grateful.
Now again, though, guys, noneof this erases the pain, but
these changes that we justtalked about the personal
strength, the closerrelationships, the new
possibilities in life, theappreciation for just the little
things in life and for thespiritual growth, they exist and
(16:59):
they're part of healing.
So, for those of you out there,like me, who are my science
buffs, what does the science sayabout this?
Is this just a feel-good theory?
Is it just something thatWatson has made up?
Actually, no.
There are 400 peer-reviewedstudies that have investigated
post-traumatic growth acrosspopulations.
This includes combat veterans,people like me, survivors of
(17:22):
abuse, survivors withlife-threatening illnesses of
abuse, survivors withlife-threatening illnesses, car
accidents, abandon, neglect, allof it.
For example, a 2021 studypublished in the Frontiers of
Psychology found thatpost-traumatic growth was
significantly associated thisshould not surprise us with
lower depression and greaterlife satisfaction in trauma
(17:42):
survivors, even if the PTSDsymptoms remain.
And here's something importantyou can have post-traumatic
growth and post-traumatic stressdisorder at the same time.
That is true of me.
I still, technically, wouldhave all of the things, all of
the DSM criteria forpost-traumatic stress, but I
(18:05):
also have all the criteria forpost-traumatic growth.
It reminds me that song byAvalon that truly is this
intersection of where joy andsorrow meet.
Ptsd and post-traumatic growthis not mutually exclusive.
You can still and I doexperience nightmares, anxiety,
(18:27):
hypervigilance, and the deeperfaith, the new purpose, the
gratitude, the betterrelationships, because, you see,
the human heart is complex likethat, because our God, our
creator, is mind-blowinglycreative when he created us and
he created us with the abilityto heal.
(18:49):
So, as I've mentioned many times, if you have listened to this
podcast before, you know that Ilive my own story with PTSD.
You know that I've had my owndays when I didn't think I would
make it through.
And I'm not here to wrap thisstory up and put a bow on it and
call it good, but I have seenthe goodness of God in the land
(19:10):
of the living for me.
I have seen post-traumaticgrowth in my own life and I will
, until my last breath, tell youabout it, because healing looks
like this podcast, healinglooks like an almost completed
doctorate degree.
Healing looks like the deeppersonal relationships that I'm
(19:36):
able to have.
Healing looks like working onan inpatient unit as a therapist
and helping people.
Healing looks like full night'ssleep.
People Healing looks like fullnight's sleep.
Healing looks like the abilityto eat without problems.
Healing looks like nohospitalizations.
(19:56):
Healing is for me because Godhas given it to me, because of
the way he created me and thehard work and the people that he
has put in my life, and able todo that Because, you see,
post-traumatic growth doesn'tmean that I wanted the trauma.
There was a time when I wouldtell you that I would go through
all the trauma again if it justhelped one person, and I don't
(20:21):
mean that, really I don't.
If I had to choose it again, Iwould not go through it again,
but it happened it.
Just because I decide to growfrom it doesn't mean that I
wanted it or that I'm making itsomething that didn't happen.
Trauma can be redeemed and hasbeen in my life.
So some of you might be askingme a question how can we
(20:45):
cultivate post-traumatic growth?
Well, here are a few keyfactors that research has shown
to support it.
Telling your story helps youmake meaning of your experience.
Yeah right, telling yourstories, finding somebody that
will listen.
(21:06):
Therapy is also another way todo this Journaling, listening to
podcasts, trusted conversationswith your friends.
Tell your story, because itmatters.
Also, get yourself some socialsupport.
I've said this from the verybeginning of this podcast.
It is one of our C3s communitysocial support, because safe
(21:29):
relationships matter, whetherthat's friends, whether it's
support groups or whether it's atrauma-informed therapist.
Post-traumatic growth thrivesin connection and if you've been
a part of this podcast for anyamount of time, you know that
another C, as I mentioned at thebeginning of the podcast, is
church.
Guess where you can get bothcommunity and church at the same
(21:52):
place?
Social support, because saferelationships matter.
And, just as a side note, ifyou're listening to this podcast
because you love somebody withPTSD or because you just love
people in general, please knowthat safe relationships matter.
(22:14):
That same friend that told methat I was worth fighting for I
met at church.
We started a friendship overnormal things going to football
games with your coworkers, allthe things but she was safe and
she invested in a relationshipwith me and 15 years later, I am
here to tell about it and Ishould not be.
(22:37):
The third thing is,post-traumatic growth often
comes from slowing down andthinking deeply about what the
trauma has changed in you, andthinking deeply about what the
trauma has changed in you.
It's about noticing thoseshifts, not forcing them.
It's about being curious of howthe trauma has changed you.
(22:58):
There is no judgment.
It is not good, it is not bad.
It is about being curious abouthow the trauma has changed you.
It's about noticing the shifts,not forcing them.
The fourth thing, the key factorthat research has shown that
supports post-traumatic growth,is spirituality, or faith.
(23:19):
Many survivors report thatfaith gave them the framework
for the meaning making that wetalked about earlier.
When you tell your story and,in fact, spiritual growth, this
is not at all shocking to me.
It's like a duh moment, right?
Spiritual growth is one of themost reported forms of post
(23:40):
traumatic growth, and here's akey point, though Whether it's
begin telling your story orfinding safe relationships that
matter, or diving deep onto thehow the trauma has changed you
with great curiosity and nojudgment and faith, you cannot
(24:01):
rush them.
Growth is not a straight line,it is not linear, it is probably
all over the place, it is not achecklist, and it unfolds in
its time.
You got this, you can do thisNow.
A word of caution as we close.
I want to be very clear.
(24:26):
We can never use post-traumaticgrowth, pursuit of it or when
someone has it.
We cannot use it to minimizesomebody's pain.
If somebody said to me yeah,but look at what a great person
you are now or look at whatyou're doing now, I would want
to slap them because justbecause I've done the hard work
(24:46):
and I've I'm exhibitingpost-traumatic growth, it does
not mean that that traumadoesn't still hurt me at some
point, maybe every day of mylife.
We should not tell survivorseverything happens for a reason
or you'll come out stronger.
And a note to Christians herewe'd love to throw out Romans 8,
28,.
But God will work all thingstogether for good to the glory
(25:10):
of them that love God.
Right Great verse.
We don't read the one before itand we don't read the one after
it.
We've got to be careful atthrowing those kinds of Bible
verses at trauma that is justunearthed.
Is that true that God works allthings together for good to
those that love him and arecalled according to his purpose,
absolutely?
But we must not weaponizeverses like that.
(25:33):
We must not tell themeverything happens for a reason,
does it Sure?
But we live in a broken, brokenworld, and that is far too
simplistic for somebody who hasbeen through a ton of trauma.
Post-traumatic growth issomething that we might discover
in time, but it should never,ever be rushed, it should never
(25:56):
be pressed onto somebody.
Let them get there on their own.
So I want to say to you today,though, if you're in the thick
of it, if PTSD has a grip on you, you are not broken and healing
is possible.
(26:17):
And, yes, growth is possible.
Maybe not today, maybe nottomorrow, but if you want it,
there is something on the otherside of survival, and that
something is post-traumaticgrowth and together with a
(26:41):
community, with counseling, witha church, telling your story,
finding safe relationships,thinking and being curious about
what the trauma has done andhow it has changed you, with no
judgment, and increasing yourfaith, if you will blindly take
(27:05):
some of those steps, you will besurprised what might happen for
you on the other side.
As always, I am just a textmessage away.
If you want to talk to me moreabout how you might be able to
experience post-traumatic growthand you just want to shoot me a
message, you can do that rightthere in your app.
Send me a text message I am theonly one that gets that and I
(27:27):
will address it on the podcast.
That's the only way I cananswer that.
Or you can send me an email.
That email is amywatsonauthorat gmailcom or Instagram.
Author amywatson, I would loveto help you take your first step
to post-traumatic growth, andso we'll be back here in two
(27:48):
weeks, and before we do that,you know what I'm going to say.
You are seen, you are known,you are heard, you are loved and
you are so.
You are known, you are heard,you are loved and you are so, so
valued.
Speaker 1 (28:07):
You lead my heart to victory.
You are my strength and youalways will be.
(28:27):
I see the evidence of yourgoodness All over my life, all
over my life, all over my life.
I see promises and fulfillmentall over my life, all over my
(28:52):
life, my all my sin the evidenceis endless, all my sin rolled
(29:18):
away Because of you.
Oh Jesus, oh, I see theevidence of your goodness All
over my life, all over my life,all over my life.
I see your promises andfulfillment All over my life,
(29:49):
all over my life.
Yeah, when I see you when Iwake up in the morning, yeah, I
(30:11):
see your promises in fulfillmentall over my life, all around us
.
So why should I fear?
The evidence is here.
(30:31):
Why should I fear?
All the evidence is here.
You.
Hey everybody and welcome back to the Wednesdays
with Watson podcast.
If you don't know by now, I amyour host and my name is Amy
Watson.
You have stumbled, maybe forthe first time, on the
Wednesdays with Watson podcast,and this is a podcast dedicated
to all things trauma and mentalhealth related.
As I mentioned, my name is Amyand I am your host, and this
(00:37):
podcast has been going sinceApril of 2020, and it is our
motivation and our direction,and our desire is to help those
of you out there living with theeffects of trauma and or severe
mental illness.
We are here to help On thispodcast.
We believe that the three C'sare all that gets us to where we
(00:58):
want to be, and we are going totalk about that in today's
episode.
Those three C's meaningcommunity, church and counseling
, and so today we're going totalk about something that we've
not discussed before on thepodcast, and so settle in and
let's drop into this episodeabout post-traumatic growth.
(01:19):
Okay, guys, as it turns out,there is an actual scientific
term for that which I haveexperienced as a survivor of a
(01:43):
lot of trauma and as a personwho was diagnosed with complex
post-traumatic stress disorderin 2007.
Today, I am here as an advocateand as a professional who works
with patients who have beentraumatized every day, and just
a few short months away frombeing Dr Amy Watson.
(02:06):
If you have listened at all tothis podcast, you know that that
should not be able to happen.
Why do I say that?
Well, just the cliff notes forthose of you who have not
listened to this podcast, andyou can find many episodes here
where I talk about parts of, insome cases, all of my story.
And what does this mean?
(02:27):
Why is it a big deal that I amable to do these things that I
only dreamt of doing so long ago?
Well, it is definitely becauseof Jesus, it is because of his
people, but it is also becauseof hard work that I have done,
and I am not uncomfortabletelling you that, because it has
been just that.
(02:48):
It has been hard work.
And so, to that end, whathappens when you put in the hard
work is post-traumatic growth.
This is a powerful,evidence-based concept that
offers hope to people like youwho have walked through the fire
and wondered, really wondered,if anything beautiful could
(03:09):
possibly grow from the ashes.
And, as I say that, I thinkabout that.
Those things that I have beenthrough, ranging from childhood
abuse in any form that you canthink of all the way through to
domestic violence.
Lots of loss, lots of grief,lots of anxiety, lots of
(03:30):
depression, a suicide attempt, ahospitalization in 2008.
That was five days after Itried to take my life, and so I
look at it so many years laterand I am grateful to the star of
the story, who is Jesus, who isthe ultimate catalyst for
post-traumatic growth.
I am grateful for his peopleand I am grateful here on the
(04:03):
other side of this microphone,just a little bit different from
those of you who have not hadthe opportunity to work through
those things that try to destroyyou.
But beauty can come from ashesand if you're under the sound of
my voice, you're hearing thatright now.
You're hearing that beauty.
You're hearing those thingsthat should not be able to
happen.
(04:23):
So, whether you're a traumasurvivor, whether you're a
clinician like myself, I am bothof those.
Whether you're a family memberof somebody who has been through
trauma or someone who is justcurious about what's possible
when we, when we, wrestle withtrauma, what, what do we?
What happens when wesuccessfully get on the other
side of working through ourtrauma?
(04:45):
If you are wondering any ofthose things, this episode is
for you, and I do want to say,though, something very clearly
is that post-traumatic growth isnot a silver lining.
That happens passively as aresult.
It is not some toxic positivething that we say and, more
importantly, if you'reexperiencing post traumatic
(05:06):
growth, it does not negate yourpain.
But post traumatic growth isreal, it is studied, and it is
something that many survivorscan, and often do, experience if
they are committed to theprocess of working through their
trauma, not avoiding theirtrauma, understanding that so
(05:28):
many times that the only waythrough is through.
So let's first talk about whatis post-traumatic growth.
The term post-traumatic growthwas first coined in the 1990s by
psychologists Richard Tedeschiand Lawrence Calhoun.
They noticed that many traumasurvivors didn't just recover,
(05:49):
but they actually becamestronger, wiser, and here's
where I really identify withpost-traumatic growth.
They became more purpose driventhan they were before their
trauma.
Post-traumatic growth is definedas a positive psychological
change that occurs.
Now this is really important tolisten to what I'm going to say
(06:11):
here.
It is a positive psychologicalchange that occurs as a result
of the struggle with highlychallenging life circumstances.
Now notice it didn't say thatit's a positive psychological
change that is the result ofhighly challenging circumstances
.
It's not a result of the traumaitself, but it is a result of
(06:35):
the struggle with that trauma.
Through it, only way through itis through it.
It's what happens when the hardwork of therapy, living in
community, processing, healing,going before the Lord, it is
what happens when that hard workbegins and continues.
(06:56):
It doesn't happen to everyoneand it doesn't mean that the
trauma is worth it, as we airquote when we say that.
But it does mean that our Godmade the human spirit remarkably
resilient.
And when you think of that inhistory, when you think of
survivors of the Holocaust, whenyou think of survivors of war,
(07:20):
when you think of survivors ofpestilence and famine, sometimes
you see incredibly strongpeople come out of those hard
times because of their strugglewith the hard time, because of
their refusal.
If you ask me one thing besidesGod himself, the star of the
story changing the narrative foryou, if you were to ask me what
(07:42):
is the one secret ingredient?
It would be not to avoid.
And that's really difficult.
Right, because PTSD, bydefinition, one of the things
that has to occur if we'rediagnosed in PTSD is the
(08:03):
avoidance of the trauma.
Right and so.
But we understand thatpost-traumatic growth comes from
not avoiding the trauma, notavoiding the struggle with the
trauma, and so that's reallyimportant.
So you've got to be in aposition where you can face the
things that happen to you andyou can wrestle with that
(08:25):
struggle of that trauma.
Both Tadishi and Calhounidentified five areas where
post-traumatic growth tends toshow up.
So let's walk through them, and, as I do, I want you to think
about whether this is true ofyou.
The first is personal strength.
Survivors often reportdiscovering a new inner strength
(08:47):
.
They say things like I neverknew that I could survive that,
but I did.
And I will tell you, guys, thatthere have been so many times
in my life not in the pastdecade or even the past 15 years
, but there have been so manytimes in my life when I was
shocked that I woke up in themorning because it was that bad,
(09:08):
the trauma was that bad, thestruggle with the trauma was
that bad, or my avoidance of allof it included some sort of
drug induced situation where I'mliterally surprised that I woke
up.
And so I look at those timesnow.
Some of that trauma happenedwhen I was seven years old, so
(09:28):
40 years ago.
When I think about all thethings that I've been through, I
will absolutely say I neverknew that I could survive that,
but I did.
Now, as a Christian, I willabsolutely tell you that that
survival came because of thestar of the story, jesus, who
showed up and sent his peopleand gave me the desire to fight,
but, at the same time, I had todecide to fight and that
(09:53):
happened.
And I tell this story many,many times, and I don't often go
a week at work where I don'tthink about this story that I'm
getting ready to tell you.
When I was hospitalized in 2008, one of my friends came to me
and one of the things that shesaid to me when she left she
gave me a hug and I said thankyou for coming and she said to
me you are worth fighting forand that I look back on and I
(10:19):
say it to patients at least oncea week now at the hospital you
are worth fighting for and so,if you're under the sound of my
voice, remember that you areworth fighting for yourself.
Right, I can fight for you,people can fight for you, but
you have to fight for yourself.
It is a worthy fight becauseyou will discover the resilience
(10:40):
, the resistance that God placedin you to survive the
atrocities that this lifesometimes can bring to us.
So personal strength, closerrelationships.
Now, it is true that our traumacan highlight bad relationships
and ones that we should walkaway from, but it also can
clarify.
This is so huge, this is sohuge.
(11:02):
It can also clarify who trulyshows up for you and that I can
tell you from personalexperience, as I look back over
the past 15 years and the peoplethat have steadily been there
with me.
Whether it's the unsolicitedtext message, an invitation to
lunch, the hug, whatever it is,we know who showed up for us and
(11:27):
we know who did not.
And those people who showed upfor us, you are connected to us
for the rest of your lifebecause that's the kind of
loyalty that this brings.
This is post traumatic growth.
It can deepen, deepen, deepen,meaningful relationships.
It sometimes leads to deeperconnections with others, and
(11:51):
especially those who understandsuffering.
So we get personal strengththat we didn't know we had.
We get closer relationshipsbecause we realize who showed up
for us and who did not.
We understand that there arenew possibilities.
Man, this is huge for me.
I never in a million yearsthought that I could be doing
(12:14):
what I'm doing right now, whichis working in a hospital, which
was always my dream, which isbeing a doctor, even though I'm
not going to be a medical doctor.
I am oh so close to that.
Healing, just healing.
I've got a private practice invictory, trauma counseling just
the things that are available tome now that weren't available
when I started all of this hardwork.
(12:35):
It's absolutely mind blowing tome and it reminds me of that,
that verse Ephesians 320, wherethe Bible says that he is able
to do, exceedingly andabundantly all that we could ask
or think.
And when I look back on what Ithought that I would be doing, I
didn't even think I'd be aliveat 53 years old guys.
But to know that I next Maywill walk across the stage at
(12:58):
Liberty University and be hoodedDr Amy Watson, is mind blowing
to me and, by definition, posttraumatic growth.
Oh, I am so grateful to the Lord.
I am so grateful to Jesus, whois the star of the story.
I am grateful to those peoplewho showed up and continue to
show up for me.
I continue.
(13:19):
I am so grateful for the peoplethat pray for me.
I am grateful for the peoplewho walk this road with me, the
people that I can be myself with.
I am so grateful, and I neverthought that those relationships
would be possible.
I never thought that thisvocation could be possible,
never even really considered adoctorate degree.
But here we are post traumaticgrowth, and so not only do we
(13:43):
get personal strength that wedidn't know we had, not only are
the relationships that matterbrought closer, but we
understand that the sky is thelimit for us.
They pursue new careers thatwould be me creative outlets we
started this podcast five yearsago advocacy roles an entirely
(14:03):
new path that they would havenever considered before.
Oh, the possibilities for thosewho want to be on the other
side of all the bad right.
These two scientists, these twodoctors also realized that there
was an appreciation for life.
After trauma.
They found that small joysbecame more precious.
(14:26):
Survivors often describednoticing beauty in the ordinary
things that they didn't before,and that is so true.
A sunrise, a sunset, a body ofwater.
Yesterday I was late for churchand so I ended up just grabbing
my hammock and going to thepark and throwing my hammock up
between these two massive oaktrees, looking out on the Gulf.
(14:48):
I live in the Tampa Bay areaand just the appreciation for
the sun glistening off of thewater, the warmth of the sun,
the cool of the breeze, it wasjust like unbelievable.
And for somebody who did notwant to be alive to the tune of
taking handfuls of pills, anappreciation for life is
definitely part of my story.
(15:10):
These doctors also in additionto personal strength and closer
relationships and newpossibilities, appreciation for
life.
They saw that people withpost-traumatic growth it shook
their belief system.
People with post-traumaticgrowth.
It shook their belief systembut then it led to a deeper or
(15:31):
redefined spirituality, faith orworldview.
And I think about what mystruggle with trauma did for my
faith.
I will never forget when I,early on, right after I first
got out of my domestic violencemarriage and I was standing by a
closet that was filled witht-shirts from vacations that we
(15:54):
had gone together and the painjust overtook me and I slid down
the wall and I just sat therefor hours and did battle with
the Lord and I remembered likingit in my mind to the wrestling
match that Jacob had with theangel and Jacob said I will not
(16:14):
let go until you bless me.
And that's what it was like forme that night, I went from
wondering whether God stillexisted to a sweet communion
with him, begging him to walk methrough what seemed like was
going to take me over, and itdid.
It deepened my faith with Jesus.
It deepened it.
(16:36):
I am so grateful.
Now again, though, guys, noneof this erases the pain, but
these changes that we justtalked about the personal
strength, the closerrelationships, the new
possibilities in life, theappreciation for just the little
things in life and for thespiritual growth, they exist and
(16:59):
they're part of healing.
So, for those of you out there,like me, who are my science
buffs, what does the science sayabout this?
Is this just a feel-good theory?
Is it just something thatWatson has made up?
Actually, no.
There are 400 peer-reviewedstudies that have investigated
post-traumatic growth acrosspopulations.
This includes combat veterans,people like me, survivors of
(17:22):
abuse, survivors withlife-threatening illnesses of
abuse, survivors withlife-threatening illnesses, car
accidents, abandon, neglect, allof it.
For example, a 2021 studypublished in the Frontiers of
Psychology found thatpost-traumatic growth was
significantly associated thisshould not surprise us with
lower depression and greaterlife satisfaction in trauma
(17:42):
survivors, even if the PTSDsymptoms remain.
And here's something importantyou can have post-traumatic
growth and post-traumatic stressdisorder at the same time.
That is true of me.
I still, technically, wouldhave all of the things, all of
the DSM criteria forpost-traumatic stress, but I
(18:05):
also have all the criteria forpost-traumatic growth.
It reminds me that song byAvalon that truly is this
intersection of where joy andsorrow meet.
Ptsd and post-traumatic growthis not mutually exclusive.
You can still and I doexperience nightmares, anxiety,
(18:27):
hypervigilance, and the deeperfaith, the new purpose, the
gratitude, the betterrelationships, because, you see,
the human heart is complex likethat, because our God, our
creator, is mind-blowinglycreative when he created us and
he created us with the abilityto heal.
(18:49):
So, as I've mentioned many times, if you have listened to this
podcast before, you know that Ilive my own story with PTSD.
You know that I've had my owndays when I didn't think I would
make it through.
And I'm not here to wrap thisstory up and put a bow on it and
call it good, but I have seenthe goodness of God in the land
(19:10):
of the living for me.
I have seen post-traumaticgrowth in my own life and I will
, until my last breath, tell youabout it, because healing looks
like this podcast, healinglooks like an almost completed
doctorate degree.
Healing looks like the deeppersonal relationships that I'm
(19:36):
able to have.
Healing looks like working onan inpatient unit as a therapist
and helping people.
Healing looks like full night'ssleep.
People Healing looks like fullnight's sleep.
Healing looks like the abilityto eat without problems.
Healing looks like nohospitalizations.
(19:56):
Healing is for me because Godhas given it to me, because of
the way he created me and thehard work and the people that he
has put in my life, and able todo that Because, you see,
post-traumatic growth doesn'tmean that I wanted the trauma.
There was a time when I wouldtell you that I would go through
all the trauma again if it justhelped one person, and I don't
(20:21):
mean that, really I don't.
If I had to choose it again, Iwould not go through it again,
but it happened it.
Just because I decide to growfrom it doesn't mean that I
wanted it or that I'm making itsomething that didn't happen.
Trauma can be redeemed and hasbeen in my life.
So some of you might be askingme a question how can we
(20:45):
cultivate post-traumatic growth?
Well, here are a few keyfactors that research has shown
to support it.
Telling your story helps youmake meaning of your experience.
Yeah right, telling yourstories, finding somebody that
will listen.
(21:06):
Therapy is also another way todo this Journaling, listening to
podcasts, trusted conversationswith your friends.
Tell your story, because itmatters.
Also, get yourself some socialsupport.
I've said this from the verybeginning of this podcast.
It is one of our C3s communitysocial support, because safe
(21:29):
relationships matter, whetherthat's friends, whether it's
support groups or whether it's atrauma-informed therapist.
Post-traumatic growth thrivesin connection and if you've been
a part of this podcast for anyamount of time, you know that
another C, as I mentioned at thebeginning of the podcast, is
church.
Guess where you can get bothcommunity and church at the same
(21:52):
place?
Social support, because saferelationships matter.
And, just as a side note, ifyou're listening to this podcast
because you love somebody withPTSD or because you just love
people in general, please knowthat safe relationships matter.
(22:14):
That same friend that told methat I was worth fighting for I
met at church.
We started a friendship overnormal things going to football
games with your coworkers, allthe things but she was safe and
she invested in a relationshipwith me and 15 years later, I am
here to tell about it and Ishould not be.
(22:37):
The third thing is,post-traumatic growth often
comes from slowing down andthinking deeply about what the
trauma has changed in you, andthinking deeply about what the
trauma has changed in you.
It's about noticing thoseshifts, not forcing them.
It's about being curious of howthe trauma has changed you.
(22:58):
There is no judgment.
It is not good, it is not bad.
It is about being curious abouthow the trauma has changed you.
It's about noticing the shifts,not forcing them.
The fourth thing, the key factorthat research has shown that
supports post-traumatic growth,is spirituality, or faith.
(23:19):
Many survivors report thatfaith gave them the framework
for the meaning making that wetalked about earlier.
When you tell your story and,in fact, spiritual growth, this
is not at all shocking to me.
It's like a duh moment, right?
Spiritual growth is one of themost reported forms of post
(23:40):
traumatic growth, and here's akey point, though Whether it's
begin telling your story orfinding safe relationships that
matter, or diving deep onto thehow the trauma has changed you
with great curiosity and nojudgment and faith, you cannot
(24:01):
rush them.
Growth is not a straight line,it is not linear, it is probably
all over the place, it is not achecklist, and it unfolds in
its time.
You got this, you can do thisNow.
A word of caution as we close.
I want to be very clear.
(24:26):
We can never use post-traumaticgrowth, pursuit of it or when
someone has it.
We cannot use it to minimizesomebody's pain.
If somebody said to me yeah,but look at what a great person
you are now or look at whatyou're doing now, I would want
to slap them because justbecause I've done the hard work
(24:46):
and I've I'm exhibitingpost-traumatic growth, it does
not mean that that traumadoesn't still hurt me at some
point, maybe every day of mylife.
We should not tell survivorseverything happens for a reason
or you'll come out stronger.
And a note to Christians herewe'd love to throw out Romans 8,
28,.
But God will work all thingstogether for good to the glory
(25:10):
of them that love God.
Right Great verse.
We don't read the one before itand we don't read the one after
it.
We've got to be careful atthrowing those kinds of Bible
verses at trauma that is justunearthed.
Is that true that God works allthings together for good to
those that love him and arecalled according to his purpose,
absolutely?
But we must not weaponizeverses like that.
(25:33):
We must not tell themeverything happens for a reason,
does it Sure?
But we live in a broken, brokenworld, and that is far too
simplistic for somebody who hasbeen through a ton of trauma.
Post-traumatic growth issomething that we might discover
in time, but it should never,ever be rushed, it should never
(25:56):
be pressed onto somebody.
Let them get there on their own.
So I want to say to you today,though, if you're in the thick
of it, if PTSD has a grip on you, you are not broken and healing
is possible.
(26:17):
And, yes, growth is possible.
Maybe not today, maybe nottomorrow, but if you want it,
there is something on the otherside of survival, and that
something is post-traumaticgrowth and together with a
(26:41):
community, with counseling, witha church, telling your story,
finding safe relationships,thinking and being curious about
what the trauma has done andhow it has changed you, with no
judgment, and increasing yourfaith, if you will blindly take
(27:05):
some of those steps, you will besurprised what might happen for
you on the other side.
As always, I am just a textmessage away.
If you want to talk to me moreabout how you might be able to
experience post-traumatic growthand you just want to shoot me a
message, you can do that rightthere in your app.
Send me a text message I am theonly one that gets that and I
(27:27):
will address it on the podcast.
That's the only way I cananswer that.
Or you can send me an email.
That email is amywatsonauthorat gmailcom or Instagram.
Author amywatson, I would loveto help you take your first step
to post-traumatic growth, andso we'll be back here in two
(27:48):
weeks, and before we do that,you know what I'm going to say.
You are seen, you are known,you are heard, you are loved and
you are so.
You are known, you are heard,you are loved and you are so, so
valued.
Speaker 1 (28:07):
You lead my heart to victory.
You are my strength and youalways will be.
(28:27):
I see the evidence of yourgoodness All over my life, all
over my life, all over my life.
I see promises and fulfillmentall over my life, all over my
(28:52):
life, my all my sin the evidenceis endless, all my sin rolled
(29:18):
away Because of you.
Oh Jesus, oh, I see theevidence of your goodness All
over my life, all over my life,all over my life.
I see your promises andfulfillment All over my life,
(29:49):
all over my life.
Yeah, when I see you when Iwake up in the morning, yeah, I
(30:11):
see your promises in fulfillmentall over my life, all around us
.
So why should I fear?
The evidence is here.
(30:31):
Why should I fear?
All the evidence is here.
You.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
NFL Daily with Gregg Rosenthal
Gregg Rosenthal and a rotating crew of elite NFL Media co-hosts, including Patrick Claybon, Colleen Wolfe, Steve Wyche, Nick Shook and Jourdan Rodrigue of The Athletic get you caught up daily on all the NFL news and analysis you need to be smarter and funnier than your friends.