Q&A14 Your Nervous System Questions Answered (Polyvagal Theory)

In this Q&A episode, we follow up on our deep dive into Polyvagal Theory to answer your real-life questions about nervous system regulation.

We tackle the fear that self-compassion is just "making excuses," practical tips for regulating your anxiety in public, and the terrifying (but necessary) shift away from restriction to stop the binge cycle.

Important Points Covered

1. Can You Be in Two States at Once? Yes. We discuss "mixed states" (like feeling "wired but tired") where you might experience anxiety and numbness simultaneously. The solution isn't a perfect label, but asking: "Do I need to discharge energy or do I need comfort right now?"
2. The Fear of Losing "The Stick" (Shame) We address the common fear that without shame and strict rules, you'll eat everything in sight. We explain why shame is actually a danger signal that keeps the binge cycle going, and why safety is the only environment where true self-control can exist.
3. When the Tools "Don't Work" If you used a somatic tool (like shaking) and still binged, you didn't fail. We reframe this as a win because you created a pause and awareness. Nervous system retraining is about repetition, not immediate perfection.
4. Stealth Regulation for Public Spaces You can't shake your body in a meeting. We offer "Stealth Tools" for social situations, including the "Grounding Press" (feet on floor), the physiological sigh, and using cold water on your wrists to reset the vagus nerve discreetly.
5. Safety vs. Weight Loss We tackle the hard truth: You cannot heal a body you are threatening with restriction. We discuss why prioritizing nervous system safety (stopping the famine signal) is actually the fastest path to stabilizing your weight and ending the binge urge.

It is normal to feel scared when you put down the weapon of shame. But remember, you are trading the illusion of control for actual freedom. If you try one of the "Stealth Tools" this week, I'd love to hear how it went! Hit reply to my newsletter or tag me in your stories.

Key Takeaway Shame is not a strategy; it is a safety threat. True change only happens when your nervous system feels safe enough to let go of the old patterns.