Episode 13: New David vs Old David - Jan 13, 2023

Content warning: Body Dysmorphia

Hey mates, it is Friday the 13th. I always love Friday the 13th. 13 is my favorite number. I hope you all had a good Friday, and that you all get to enjoy this weekend - if you're off!

So yesterday, I talked about my gastric sleeve surgery. After I had dropped the 100 pounds, there was another issue. Some people don't know about body dysmorphia. Even I didn't really understand it. For me, when I looked in the mirror... I wasn't me anymore. I had gotten so used to how I looked when I was bigger, that it was hard for me to acknowledge how my body had changed. And that was 100 lbs lost. Not even all that I needed to lose.

So I'd see myself in the mirror and just... there would be times where I'd eat because I knew I could make myself become my old self again. I was down from a size 54 waist to a 44-46. I had gone from wearing 4XL shirts down to 2xl shirts.. 

I was on the way, right? I had nice suits that I was looking at for when I went further down. I had thought about even doing some cosplay in the future. But like I said, there were times I just could reconcile this new David with the old David. And eventually my brain wanted the old me. The bigger me.

There was... and is, self sabotage. I'll drop 10-15 pounds. Gain it back. Drop it. Gain it back. I want to be in the smaller pant sizes. I want my shirts to be smaller. Not just for being healthier, but dang if they don't upcharge the bigger sizes. You know what I'm talking about.

Today was a decent day, and the weather has dropped in temperature, so I'll be walking more tomorrow. I ate good today. And I talked with someone yesterday about eating a plant based diet. I'm learning new things daily and will be incorporating what I learn. And I'll be letting you know what I do.

Thanks for listening mates. You can find me on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/weightmatepodcast/ or you can email me at weightmatepodcast at gmail dot com