July 16, 2025 • 35 mins
This week, we’re leaving the heavy headlines behind and diving into some of the funniest, weirdest, and most absurd news stories out there. From chimpanzees starting viral trends to a passenger’s “swamp crotch” causing TSA chaos, we’ve got it all. Amber and Gina share their favorite bizarre headlines and try to make sense of the madness. Get ready for laughs, disbelief, and a touch of absurdity. Oh, and don’t forget to stick around for our ridiculous riddle at the end!
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Email: weirdtruecrime@gmail.com
Edited by - djaudio22@gmail.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Fire eyes media. The news headlines the past few weeks
have been heavy and heartbreaking. It seems that almost every
day there is something else tragic happening around the world,
you know. But on the other hand, we can't forget
that there's never a shortage of the funny, weird, or
just plain amusing headlines out there.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
So this week we're going to take a step back
from the heavy headlines and hear some hilarious and weird
ones instead. Oh and by the time you hear this episode,
Amber and I will be on our way to Boston
for the True Crime and Paranormal Podcast Festival. Hopefully we'll
see you there and you can tell us what your
(00:47):
favorite headline from today was.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
Before we dive in, let's hear our riddle for the day,
what do you call a flying monkey? Stay tuned to
the end to find out the answer. And also, I
apologize in advance for this one.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
Our first headline reads Chimpanzees engage in cheeky trends setting
behavior proving they're more human like than you realize. Study
reveals doesn't sound too bad so far.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
Not bad at all. I mean the trends there setting
can be worse than what we already have to endure,
am I Right?
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Yeah, seriously, it's a scary place out there. And all
it took was one chimp deciding a blade of grass
sticking out of his ear was the best thing since
sliced bread, and so the grass and ear trend was born.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Oh he didn't stop there, though, he took it to
the next level by sticking another blade of grass in
his well, let's just say he found another orifice to
stick it into, a much stinkier one this time.
Speaker 2 (02:24):
And of course the other chimps saw this and channeled
their inner Billy Madison and followed suit.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
The brilliant scientific minds studying this behavior have named it
grass in ear and grass in rectum, because apparently naming
things is hard.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Well, they couldn't have come up with anything better than that.
And you want to know the best part about all
of this, there's no practical reason for this trend. It's
purely social bonding, you know, just like the humans and
their obsession with TikTok dances.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
I mean, think of it this way. The next time
you're feeling insecure about your fashion choices, just remember, at
least you're not sticking grass and you're oh you get
the idea.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
Yeah, exactly, And if you do decide to start a trend,
let's just save the ass grass trends for the chips.
You know, this reminds me of this trend that scientists
were seeing with I can't remember if it was like
dolphins or whales or some sort of like sea mammal
where they would put like a dead fish on their forehead,
(03:39):
like on the top of their head and just swim
around with it.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
Okay, did your dead fish forehead? No? I did not mass.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
Grass and dead fish foreheads.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
I'm here for it.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
Are the animals, Okay, I think.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
They're probably wondering that about us.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
Honestly, maybe they're like, cool, well, if they're going to
do all this stupid stuff, then we'll start doing it
to kill.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
Okay, So our next headline reads, I'm lucky to be
alive after sustaining car crash injuries tripping over my cat. Yeah, yep,
you heard that right. A cat, not a speeding vehicle,
not a wild animal, but a domestic fee lion.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
Honestly, I'm not even surprised that it's happened. Nope, No,
it sounds like something I face every day. So this
poor dude was home alone with his hairless Egyptian sphinx kitten,
and as he was coming down the stairs, the kitten
decided to be playful, you know, as kittens do, and
latched onto one of his owner's legs.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
The man said it took a chunk out of his
leg and then he lost his footing. He tumbled down
fourteen stairs before incapacitated at the bottom of the stairs.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
You know, the cat was probably thinking, uh, don't you
think you're being a little dramatic, sir.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
He didn't realize the extent of his injuries at the time.
Imagine his surprise later when he discovered he suffered a
fractured skull, a broken bone in the neck, two fractures
in his spine, nine broken ribs and each rib had
multiple fractures, and a bit of blood in his lungs.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
It's a miracle he survived. And to make matters worse,
the man's wife was working nights and not around to
come rescue him, so he had to lay at the
bottom of the stairs for a total of fourteen hours.
He physically couldn't get up, and his phone was dead.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
Of course it was, of course it was to add
even more insult to injury, the kitten who was responsible
for this freak accident with the entire night stamping on
the man's chest like sir, why are you still on
the floor and not catering to me?
Speaker 2 (06:07):
Freaking cats? When his wife got home, help was finally
called and he was taken to the hospital, where he
remained for two solid weeks recovering from the injuries inflected
by his hairless companion.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
Doctors gave him six to twelve months before he would
be back on his feet, And just like a true
scholar and a gentleman, he didn't harbor any ill will,
saying the cat's adorable and he's only young. I don't
take any umbrage to that. It's just one of them things.
It could have happened anyway. I guess being cute definitely
has its perks.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
Would you have would you have like taken that so
on the tin?
Speaker 1 (06:51):
Honestly? Probably? Really? Yeah, it wasn't the cat's fault. Gravity
is such an asshole.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
And like a freak accident, like sustained car crash injuries,
just falling down your stairs. This, my friend, is why
I will never own a's house with more than one story.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
I can tell you that having a two story house
and a dog that likes to be at your feet
all the time is dangerous because Data likes to follow
you up the stairs. He's the only dog that does.
But he will also then go down the stairs with you,
and so you have to sit there and make sure
(07:34):
he's well in front of you before you start moving
because he tries to stay like so close to your
feet sometimes. And then you have Pickle who likes to
just walk right in front of where you are while
you're trying to move. I have almost fallen down because
of her. So many times. She's quite so many times
(07:55):
she takes up a large area as she in her
tiny little body, so there's no avoiding that, and she
hits you like right below your knees on your shins,
and so it's like if you hit in the right way,
you're going down, Like there's.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
No I know you remember Shadow, right, I mean he
was named Shadow for a gush dang reason. So yeah, no,
I'll just you know, if I ever do have a
more than one story house, I'll just keep the snakes.
They're not gonna You're not gonna trip me up.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
No, no, you'll be safe with you.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
I'll be good.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
I never thought I would say that, but yeah, safe.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
With the snakes.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
I'll am with the snakes.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
I am safer with my snakes than I am with
my German shepherd. Now that horse will just knock you
over standing still.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
So yeah, yeah, yeah, pat's are a safety hazard. Yes,
for sure, at least the four legged ones. Okay. Our
next headline is Grandpa shows off wild skate park moves
on mobility scooter. Hold my beer. I'm simultaneously intrigued and terrified.
(09:05):
Fifty two year old grandfather from Western Australia went viral
for showing off his impressive moves on a mobility scooter
at a skate park.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
That's right. Gavin was filmed pulling doughnuts and wheelies at
the Mandura skate Park, about seventy kilometers or forty three
miles south of Perth, dressed in gray beanie and jeans.
His antics were captured and shared on TikTok, garnering over
seven hundred and fifty thousand views.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
And the best part The footage was captioned with Grandpa,
hold my beer because nothing says I'm about to do
something epic.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Like that exactly. Gavin's antics have earned him the title
of skate park Boss and Mandura legend from social media users.
One person even commented, this is my spirit animal like mine.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
You yeah, I know, and Gavin himself was touched by
the positive response, saying that he was glad the footage
brought happiness to so many people. He said, the amount
of people it's touched and just put smiles on their
faces and got people talking about positive things. Again, mate,
I couldn't ask any more than that, and that's why
I did it.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
I love that. And you know, there will be a
picture of you know, the skate park Boss on our
Instagram for you to see. Like it's it's really like
it's legitimately a elderly mobility scooter that you know, you
picture like an old granny and or blanket, you know,
cruising down the sidewalk or something, and he's like spinning
around and doing wheelies and doughnuts and shit, it's amazing.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
That's so fun. I wonder if he was like a
skater back in the day, maybe before he was in
a scooter or something like that, and he was like,
I'm just going to try my moves out in this
thing instead, like I was, like to the backstory.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
There grandkids that are skaters, or his kids or skater
were skaters or something like that. So it's more of
a going out there to spend time with them and
then just happening to I know, I love it.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
That's so cute.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
Okay. So this next headline is titled Walmart customer calls
cops after his self checkout avocado mishap charged thirteen hundred dollars. Oh, Walmart,
Let me set the scene for you. We're at a
self checkout in Walmart where a man is calmly scanning
his groceries.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
The poor man, instead of punching in nine avocados, somehow
punched in nine hundred and ninety nine. This brought his
receipt total to a whopping thirteen hundred dollars. At that point,
most people would think oops, wrong number, but nope, not
our guy. He yelled that Walmart was robbing him, and
(12:00):
he called the police, essentially on himself.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
Meanwhile, Walmart's staff tried to help, fixing pricing glitches, smoothing
things over, but he was like my toddler in a
full blown meltdown tantrum. I want compensation. For my emotional distress.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
The police showed up expecting a robbery suspect. Instead, they
found a man clutching a card of produce demanding reparations.
They eventually handcuffed him and let him out. His own
nine to one to one call ended in his arrest. Classic.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
I mean, there's obviously a whole lot we don't know
to the story. But my soul takeaway from this is
that I don't plan on using a self checkout anytime soon.
My cell phone already gives me enough trouble as it is.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
I have so many questions like this. This person obviously
did not understand how to you self check out and
the fact that they sat there screaming at them when
they put in the wrong number. Why are people like this?
Speaker 1 (13:14):
I take that back. My soul takeaway from this will
be I will never work in retail services again. Ever,
I don't know how y'all do it?
Speaker 2 (13:23):
Really? Truly truly like retail customer like service people are saints, Yes,
says There's a reason why I never worked or I
never worked very long in customer service and I was
never like, I was never like a server or anything
(13:47):
like that, because I would have thrown a drink at
somebody first day and got fired.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
I think it's something that everybody needs to experience, though,
like one at one point in their life, just to
see what it's like on the other side, to ensure
that you don't treat people that way when you go out.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
That's just common fucking sense. Though you would think, excre's
my language, and that's and you can judge people a
lot by the way they treat white staff, oh for sure.
So the fact that this person called the cops because
it's just and they were trying to help, it's like
the call them death.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
So that brings me to this point, like, Okay, yes
there are some genuine a holes working in customer service.
Like my experience at Taco Bell yesterday was less than
a less than pleasant, but I still remained smiling, even
though I probably looked scary and cheerful and polite and
said please and thank you. But the the the cashier
(14:44):
was less less than pleasant to deal with. So like,
there's always two Also.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
You have to think about it. It's like you don't
know what's happening in that person's day either, so.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
They could just be an asshole or they could have
just gotten some really bad news and they're just trying
to get through the rest of their day. You don't know,
so instead of like marking back in them, I mean,
unless they truly do something heinous.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
To you personally. Yeah, b flights up and whatever. Oh
there's MYSA for the day. Be nice, people, just be nice.
Our next headline is team goes a viral after bringing
(15:27):
two hundred tortillas on flight from Texas. Just went on through.
Anna Jones, a Nashville resident, boarded a flight from Austin
to Nashville with an unconventional carry on a backpack filled
with two hundred HB tortillas. I do understand this.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
If you're not from Texas, maybe you haven't heard of
our beloved grocery store chain. But it doesn't get much
better around these parts, especially those tortillas. Anna posted a
video on TikTok saying, all these people and no one
knows I have two hundred HB tortillas in my backpack.
And just like that, she became the tortilla Queen of
(16:09):
the Internet.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
Oh and let's let's clear it up. These are like
freshly made flour or corn tortillas that you can get
hot in the store. Yes, like still steaming in the bag,
HLS in your.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
Mouth, bakery tortilla.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
Yes, these are not just normal yish no no, and
TSA didn't bat an eye. They just let her roll
on through. As it turns out, transporting tortillas is a
family tradition for Anna. She explained that her dad buys
as many as three hundred tortillas for her to bring home,
(16:47):
and they freeze them to last about two months. Three
hundred tortillas in two months.
Speaker 1 (16:53):
You've seen a lot of tortillas. Yeah, She's not alone.
Other Texans have shared their own tortilla try tails. One
person flew with CHIB tortillas from San Antonio to Amsterdam,
then drove them to Belgium. Another took them from San
Antonio to Italy. I mean, when you love something, you
(17:13):
take it everywhere.
Speaker 2 (17:15):
Yeah, And if you ever find yourself in Texas and
looking for a unique souvenir, forget about cowboy hats or
boots overrated, just grab a stack of HB tortillas and
you're good to go. The butter ones are amazing, they
really are, you know. I actually saw a headline recently.
I saw the headline, didn't read the full article, but
(17:36):
I've seen it several times about this issue right here,
not this specific story, but about people who come to
Texas and buy a shit ton of the tortillas and
then travel with them. And apparently CHIB is coming up
with a way for people to successfully do this, like
they are trying to support this. I came up with
(17:59):
the whole point.
Speaker 1 (17:59):
I cannot say enough good things about HIB, especially how
they're rallying right now for the flood victims, and just
hgb ap, you are notch Yes, Okay, this next headline,
oh boy can get ready? Weird silicone phone case feels
(18:25):
like human skin and it can even get sunburned. Okay,
are we really ready for a phone case that feels
just like human skin and can get sunburnt? Literally?
Speaker 2 (18:36):
Never never? But Mark Tessier, in collaboration with Virgin Media
O two, has created the skin case.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
I love how you said that.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
I'm sorry, a synthetic phone case designed to mimic the
appearance and texture of human skin. It's made from silicone
in features intricately carved wrinkles to enhance realism. This is
not okay.
Speaker 1 (19:07):
Oh and if that wasn't enough, the skin case is
UV reactive. That's right. It can get sunburned, just like
I do, from standing outside for more than ten minutes
at a time. So now not only do you have
to worry about your skin, but also your phones.
Speaker 2 (19:24):
The idea behind this is to raise awareness about the
dangers of UV exposure, because nothing says protect your skin
like a phone case that changes color in the sun.
And I mean, let's not forget the added bonus of
having a phone case that feels like human skin.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
Okay, quite honestly, the thought of reaching over for my
phone in the middle of the night to check the
time or something and rubbing across something that feels disturbingly
like human skin that shouldn't be there would freak me
the hell out and I wouldn't go back to sleep. No.
But I mean, if you're looking for a phone case
that's both function and a little unsettling, the skin case
(20:02):
might just be for you.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
I could see this being up some people's alleys, But
my issue is I think it's great that they're trying
to raise awareness about the dance of u V exposure.
Can we do it in a different way that's not
making a cell phone case.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
I don't know people have phones in their hand all
the goddamn time all the time. So what better way
than something that's already in your hand to be like
a warning, Hey dude, Like, I'm I'm here to make
it weird. I am the weirdo. I kind of want
one to be perfectly honest.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
It's literally like, no, it makes my skin crawl, like.
Speaker 1 (20:41):
And I would totally get it tattooed too. By the way,
I'm just saying it's creepy, but I'm I love it.
That's why I love it because it's creepy.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
Creeps me the hell out. I'm like, this is gross.
I can't even reading it.
Speaker 1 (20:56):
I was like it, did you know? There was visible
shivers going up your spine?
Speaker 2 (20:59):
It was skin weirds me out. Okay, this next headline
seems fitting for our impending traveling TSA at NYC Airport
stopped me for having something crazy in my carry on,
(21:20):
But it's the best thing to have on a flight.
A woman was stopped at Newark Liberty International Airport for
carrying something a little unorthodox in her carry on.
Speaker 1 (21:32):
Yep, that's right. Chloe Gray, a lifestyle influencer, was detained
by TSA for bringing a whole ass rotisserie chicken from
Whole Foods on her flight from New Jersey to California.
Nothing says eating healthy like a hot bird in your backpack.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
Yeah, exactly. She explained that she brought the chicken to
maintain healthy eating habits and manage her blood sugar during
the long cross country trip, because who needs snacks when
you have a full meal in your bag.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
TSA didn't even bat an eye. They just let her
wing it. Apparently a whole rotisserie chicken is now considered
carry on approofed.
Speaker 2 (22:11):
Okay, so you can't bring water through TSA, but you
can bring a whole chicken. Make it makes sense? But
I mean not everyone was impressed. The internet had a
field day with her poultry packed journey. One user commented,
someone sitting next to me on a plane pulling out
a rotisseriy chicken would be my last straw.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
Another chimed in, no, no, no, the strong smell on
the flight is diabolical. Nothing says luxury travel like the
scent of roasted chicken wafting through the cabin mixed with
god knows what other sensor in that enclosed space.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
Yeah. But Chloe defended her decision, saying it was her
version of a designer bag. What because when you're flying ecotomy,
a rotisserie chicken is the ultimate accessory. So if you're
ever in a pinch and need a meal, ago, just
grab a rotisserie chicken and head to the airport. Who
knows you might start a new travel trend.
Speaker 1 (23:07):
I'm not gonna lie. If I wasn't so worried about
like pissing other people off, I would one hundred percent
do this and just like fulfill my leelu fifth element
desires and sit there with a whole rotisserie chicken and
just cagworm.
Speaker 2 (23:25):
Look, I can't be mad at this. She is right.
It's great healthy option, great protein. Like it's it's better
than just sitting there eating a bunch of carb loaded snacks.
Speaker 1 (23:35):
Or sugar sweet junk.
Speaker 2 (23:38):
They're just gonna crash your blood sugar.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
Oh my god, Now I want a chicken.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
We have? I have a rotisar chicken.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
Oh you know what, maybe I'll go to h B
for lunch and grab a chicken and some tortillas.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
I've been eating, like a low carb tortilla with I'll
tear up some other rotisseri chicken, a little bit of
shredded lettuce, parmesan cheese, and little bit of caesar dressing
and it's like a chicken caesar rat and it's deliciousious
because AGB has really good rotisseery chickens.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
Yes they do. Oh the lemon pepper is my favorite.
Speaker 2 (24:11):
Yes, same. I'm not even mad at this. It just
made me hungry, I know. Oh man, Now we got
to get some rotesss y chickens. Yep, thanks for the idea.
That's great, of course.
Speaker 1 (24:26):
Maybe we'll maybe we'll find a chicken to bring with
us on the plane, Okay, and we can report back
and let y'all know if it worked or not.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
Chicken and tortillas.
Speaker 1 (24:35):
Yes, I'll carry the tortillas, you carry the chicken. Oh God,
So this next headline, I mean, I guess it could
be worse. I love Red Bull so much. I got
(24:59):
a bar code tattoo. It even scans at the grocery checkout.
I can't even handle the smell of Red Bull myself anymore,
which may or may not have something to do with
my turning twenty one and drinking alcoholic beverages.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
But anyway, I absolutely cannot handle Red Bull for the
same exactly. It's PTSD like inducing, I can't do it,
but this woman was so passionate about Red Bull that
she decided to permanently ink her love for the energy
drink onto her skin.
Speaker 1 (25:35):
Yep, Do, a Swiss content creator, got a fully functional
Red Bull barcode tattooed on her body, and, as we mentioned,
it actually scans at the grocery store.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
Because nothing says I Love Red Bull like turning your
body into a walking advertisement. Do reportedly spend over six
hundred dollars on the tattoo, which features a worm munching
on the barcode based on a sketch from her sister.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
And if you want to see that picture, you can
head to our instagram.
Speaker 2 (26:09):
I'm a worm anyway.
Speaker 1 (26:12):
Do tested it at a self checkout and the skater
actually beaped, charging her for a two hundred and fifty
milli liter can of Red Bull.
Speaker 2 (26:20):
So now every time Doo goes to the store she
can just scan her arm and get charged for a drink.
She probably doesn't even need talk about loyalty, and you know.
Speaker 1 (26:30):
The Internet's kind of loving it. The video of Do
scanning her tattoo has gone viral, amassing over seven point
nine million views on TikTok Red Bull Germany even called
it incredible, but not everyone is impressed.
Speaker 2 (26:47):
Some critics are questioning the practicality of the tattoo, given
that barcodes can change over time. Do however, remains unfazed,
saying she doesn't care.
Speaker 1 (26:58):
You know, personally, I love Taco Bell Guilty Pleasure exposed.
But you're not gonna see me getting the logo tattooed
on me anytime soon. I mean, you know, unless they
want to like hook me up with a lifetime supply
of tacos or something.
Speaker 2 (27:13):
Just saying, right, if you love them so much that
you were willing to put that on your skin, that
should be immediate free taco like every time.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
Yeah, just flash that and be like, hey, here's a
soft taco.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
I don't think it's fair for people to criticize her
for doing something for her own personal gain enjoyment or
it's not like she's hurting anybody and if it changes,
so what like that's.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
Like, that's not why people get tattoos. We get tattoos
because we had some extra cash and we liked a
pretty design and it's it's cute, like the little worm.
The little worm is adorable, like It's not just a
simple boring you know barcode. It's you know barcode, and
the worm is like munching on part of the barcode.
(27:57):
So it's missing, and it's a cute little you know,
it's it's cute. Hey, whatever, no judgment here, Whatever floats
your canoe. Yeah, people are always gonna have something to
say about whatever anybody else does. For sure.
Speaker 2 (28:08):
Whatever, Okay, not going to lie. I love this next
headline frustrated homeowners missing wallet was hidden in plane sight
for days thanks to a bizarre optical illusion. A homeowner
(28:29):
has been two days searching for their missing wallet, only
to find it lying in plain sight on the bathroom
floor the entire time.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
Oh yes, According to a Reddit post on mildly Infuriating,
the wallet blended so seamlessly with the bathroom tiles due
to an optical illusion that it went unnoticed for forty
eight hours. Talk about a game of hide and seek
for adults.
Speaker 2 (28:57):
Yeah, seriously. The homeowner probably retrace their steps, checked every
nook and cranny, and even called the family pet to
help search, but the wallet remained elusive, hiding in plain
sight like a ninja in a sea of beige.
Speaker 1 (29:13):
And when they finally discovered it. The realization must have
been both a relief and a face palm moment. It
was right there the whole time, they probably exclaimed, followed
by a deep sigh and a vow to never take
their eyesight for granted again.
Speaker 2 (29:32):
Of course, the internet had a field day with this.
Reddit users flooded the thread with comments ranching from sympathetic
to downright hilarious. One user wrote it really blends in,
while another quipped, did you not take a shit for
two days? It's literally right there. We'll have the photo
of the bathroom floor and the wallet hidden in plain
(29:53):
sight on our Instagram for you to see, so be
sure to check it out.
Speaker 1 (29:58):
It's so good. It's so good.
Speaker 2 (30:01):
Beige beige wallet. I got to see the pictures. I
can like imagine what the wall that looks like.
Speaker 1 (30:12):
For our final headline of the day, let's head back
to the airport passenger flagged by TSA after swamp crotch
sets off alarm and it's happening to others too. Look, man,
we live in Texas. Sweating is inevitable throughout the majority
of the year.
Speaker 2 (30:32):
This sounds like my worst nightmare. Okay, so apparently if
your nether regions are moist enough, those a fancy millimeter
wave scanners think it's a weapon. Oh my god. A
passenger flying after a fifteen year hiatus got flagged twice
and all her pockets were empty. No piercings, nothing suspicious,
(30:53):
just humidize and bite.
Speaker 1 (30:55):
Shorts, which begs the question should we start a moral
panic around sweaty groins?
Speaker 2 (31:02):
Oh no?
Speaker 1 (31:03):
On Reddit, some helpful souls report the TSA guard actually
said swamp crotch out loud, because that's definitely what you
want broadcasted while you're standing there in your sweaty compression gear.
Speaker 2 (31:16):
That's horrible. TSA expert Shanna Malvini Reddin confirmed that yes,
sweat can set off the machine. Moisture bounces back the
waves and the scanner goes beep, and suddenly your crotch
is under full investigation.
Speaker 1 (31:33):
And moisture isn't alone in making your crotch suspicious. Feminine pads,
tight fabrics, even your own curves, because heaven forbid you
have a bootylicious behind.
Speaker 2 (31:46):
I feel like the scanner should be better than that.
Some countries, like France and Germany have said nah, we're
good and banned those scanners entirely, thank you. Meanwhile, in
the US, TSA says relax accounts for body diversity, but
not for swamp crotch.
Speaker 1 (32:04):
So what's the fix where moisture wicking underwear, skip the
bike shorts, and maybe sprinkle some baby powder before hopping
in the airport? Cueue, Because if you're growin primed that
submachine gun scanner, you're in for a pat down. Welcome
to Summer TSA twenty twenty five, where your crotch can
threaten national security. Bring deodorant and maybe an alibi.
Speaker 2 (32:28):
That's terrifying.
Speaker 1 (32:31):
Now do you see why I suggested we wear like
a loose, flowy dress to.
Speaker 2 (32:36):
Oh God, that poor woman. That's I don't even know
what to say to that. Like, I'm just like, dear God,
I know.
Speaker 1 (32:45):
Good times, Yeah, I really, I just cannot get over
the bathroom one. Like I looking at the photo definitely
overlooked at myself when i've and when I finally realized
where it was, I can not imagine how that dude felt.
Speaker 2 (33:03):
No, that's insane. A lot of these are. I'm the
rotissery chicken one, hands down, hands down my favorite, just
because it's like so freaking random, and the fact that
she's like, yeah, so what I brought a rotissery chicken
because it's nothing, It's nothing you would ever think about doing.
(33:24):
And the fact that the TSA was like, yeah, okay, cool, whatever,
have fun because normally you can't. I don't even think
you're supposed to bring any sort of food or drinks
through TSA.
Speaker 1 (33:36):
Not that you didn't purchase past So maybe there was
like a whole foods in that airport or something, and
she don't. I don't know. I don't know these things.
Speaker 2 (33:47):
Yeah, because normally, like all the food stuff is past TSA.
So I mean, I've brought like bags of dry snacks
and things like that in bags through TSA and they
don't care about that. But a rotisseery chicken, Like, also,
there's a there's there's a hole in there, like you
could hide stuff in there if you really wanted to.
Speaker 1 (34:04):
Oh god, oh god, I didn't even think about that.
Speaker 2 (34:08):
It could be a security issue. I don't freaking know
that one. What's my favorite one, especially because now I'm
really hungry.
Speaker 1 (34:14):
Yeah, you're gonna have to get some meurtisserie chicken. Absolutely well,
if you like what you heard today, please give us
a five star rating and review wherever you're listening from.
We honestly can't stress enough how much it means to
us and how much it helps out.
Speaker 2 (34:29):
It really does, and be sure to follow us on
socials at Weird true Crime, on Instagram and TikTok, or
shoot us an email at Weird true Crime at gmail
dot com. We would love to hear from you. But
before we say goodbye, let's hear that riddle one last time.
What do you call a flying monkey? The answer a
(34:52):
hot air baboon. Yeah. Amber already apologized for that one.
I'm so sorry, but I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1 (35:03):
I don't know why I am the way that I am.
Speaker 2 (35:05):
That's like the first corny joke.
Speaker 1 (35:09):
I had to.
Speaker 2 (35:10):
I love it. It goes, I mean, it goes along
with the chimp thing.
Speaker 1 (35:13):
That's why. That's why.
Speaker 2 (35:15):
Yeah, okay, like I can't I can't help it. I
have to do this. I had can't stop myself.
Speaker 1 (35:21):
I had another one, but then yeah, like the the
intrusive thoughts took over and it said, no, hot air baboon,
you need to do it.
Speaker 2 (35:29):
You know what, Sometimes you just gotta you gotta go
with the stupid jokes until next time. Stay safe and
make good choices.
Speaker 1 (35:40):
Goodbye, there's our peanut gallery.
Fire eyes media. The news headlines the past few weeks
have been heavy and heartbreaking. It seems that almost every
day there is something else tragic happening around the world,
you know. But on the other hand, we can't forget
that there's never a shortage of the funny, weird, or
just plain amusing headlines out there.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
So this week we're going to take a step back
from the heavy headlines and hear some hilarious and weird
ones instead. Oh and by the time you hear this episode,
Amber and I will be on our way to Boston
for the True Crime and Paranormal Podcast Festival. Hopefully we'll
see you there and you can tell us what your
(00:47):
favorite headline from today was.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
Before we dive in, let's hear our riddle for the day,
what do you call a flying monkey? Stay tuned to
the end to find out the answer. And also, I
apologize in advance for this one.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
Our first headline reads Chimpanzees engage in cheeky trends setting
behavior proving they're more human like than you realize. Study
reveals doesn't sound too bad so far.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
Not bad at all. I mean the trends there setting
can be worse than what we already have to endure,
am I Right?
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Yeah, seriously, it's a scary place out there. And all
it took was one chimp deciding a blade of grass
sticking out of his ear was the best thing since
sliced bread, and so the grass and ear trend was born.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Oh he didn't stop there, though, he took it to
the next level by sticking another blade of grass in
his well, let's just say he found another orifice to
stick it into, a much stinkier one this time.
Speaker 2 (02:24):
And of course the other chimps saw this and channeled
their inner Billy Madison and followed suit.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
The brilliant scientific minds studying this behavior have named it
grass in ear and grass in rectum, because apparently naming
things is hard.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Well, they couldn't have come up with anything better than that.
And you want to know the best part about all
of this, there's no practical reason for this trend. It's
purely social bonding, you know, just like the humans and
their obsession with TikTok dances.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
I mean, think of it this way. The next time
you're feeling insecure about your fashion choices, just remember, at
least you're not sticking grass and you're oh you get
the idea.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
Yeah, exactly, And if you do decide to start a trend,
let's just save the ass grass trends for the chips.
You know, this reminds me of this trend that scientists
were seeing with I can't remember if it was like
dolphins or whales or some sort of like sea mammal
where they would put like a dead fish on their forehead,
(03:39):
like on the top of their head and just swim
around with it.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
Okay, did your dead fish forehead? No? I did not mass.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
Grass and dead fish foreheads.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
I'm here for it.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
Are the animals, Okay, I think.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
They're probably wondering that about us.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
Honestly, maybe they're like, cool, well, if they're going to
do all this stupid stuff, then we'll start doing it
to kill.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
Okay, So our next headline reads, I'm lucky to be
alive after sustaining car crash injuries tripping over my cat. Yeah, yep,
you heard that right. A cat, not a speeding vehicle,
not a wild animal, but a domestic fee lion.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
Honestly, I'm not even surprised that it's happened. Nope, No,
it sounds like something I face every day. So this
poor dude was home alone with his hairless Egyptian sphinx kitten,
and as he was coming down the stairs, the kitten
decided to be playful, you know, as kittens do, and
latched onto one of his owner's legs.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
The man said it took a chunk out of his
leg and then he lost his footing. He tumbled down
fourteen stairs before incapacitated at the bottom of the stairs.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
You know, the cat was probably thinking, uh, don't you
think you're being a little dramatic, sir.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
He didn't realize the extent of his injuries at the time.
Imagine his surprise later when he discovered he suffered a
fractured skull, a broken bone in the neck, two fractures
in his spine, nine broken ribs and each rib had
multiple fractures, and a bit of blood in his lungs.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
It's a miracle he survived. And to make matters worse,
the man's wife was working nights and not around to
come rescue him, so he had to lay at the
bottom of the stairs for a total of fourteen hours.
He physically couldn't get up, and his phone was dead.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
Of course it was, of course it was to add
even more insult to injury, the kitten who was responsible
for this freak accident with the entire night stamping on
the man's chest like sir, why are you still on
the floor and not catering to me?
Speaker 2 (06:07):
Freaking cats? When his wife got home, help was finally
called and he was taken to the hospital, where he
remained for two solid weeks recovering from the injuries inflected
by his hairless companion.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
Doctors gave him six to twelve months before he would
be back on his feet, And just like a true
scholar and a gentleman, he didn't harbor any ill will,
saying the cat's adorable and he's only young. I don't
take any umbrage to that. It's just one of them things.
It could have happened anyway. I guess being cute definitely
has its perks.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
Would you have would you have like taken that so
on the tin?
Speaker 1 (06:51):
Honestly? Probably? Really? Yeah, it wasn't the cat's fault. Gravity
is such an asshole.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
And like a freak accident, like sustained car crash injuries,
just falling down your stairs. This, my friend, is why
I will never own a's house with more than one story.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
I can tell you that having a two story house
and a dog that likes to be at your feet
all the time is dangerous because Data likes to follow
you up the stairs. He's the only dog that does.
But he will also then go down the stairs with you,
and so you have to sit there and make sure
(07:34):
he's well in front of you before you start moving
because he tries to stay like so close to your
feet sometimes. And then you have Pickle who likes to
just walk right in front of where you are while
you're trying to move. I have almost fallen down because
of her. So many times. She's quite so many times
(07:55):
she takes up a large area as she in her
tiny little body, so there's no avoiding that, and she
hits you like right below your knees on your shins,
and so it's like if you hit in the right way,
you're going down, Like there's.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
No I know you remember Shadow, right, I mean he
was named Shadow for a gush dang reason. So yeah, no,
I'll just you know, if I ever do have a
more than one story house, I'll just keep the snakes.
They're not gonna You're not gonna trip me up.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
No, no, you'll be safe with you.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
I'll be good.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
I never thought I would say that, but yeah, safe.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
With the snakes.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
I'll am with the snakes.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
I am safer with my snakes than I am with
my German shepherd. Now that horse will just knock you
over standing still.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
So yeah, yeah, yeah, pat's are a safety hazard. Yes,
for sure, at least the four legged ones. Okay. Our
next headline is Grandpa shows off wild skate park moves
on mobility scooter. Hold my beer. I'm simultaneously intrigued and terrified.
(09:05):
Fifty two year old grandfather from Western Australia went viral
for showing off his impressive moves on a mobility scooter
at a skate park.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
That's right. Gavin was filmed pulling doughnuts and wheelies at
the Mandura skate Park, about seventy kilometers or forty three
miles south of Perth, dressed in gray beanie and jeans.
His antics were captured and shared on TikTok, garnering over
seven hundred and fifty thousand views.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
And the best part The footage was captioned with Grandpa,
hold my beer because nothing says I'm about to do
something epic.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Like that exactly. Gavin's antics have earned him the title
of skate park Boss and Mandura legend from social media users.
One person even commented, this is my spirit animal like mine.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
You yeah, I know, and Gavin himself was touched by
the positive response, saying that he was glad the footage
brought happiness to so many people. He said, the amount
of people it's touched and just put smiles on their
faces and got people talking about positive things. Again, mate,
I couldn't ask any more than that, and that's why
I did it.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
I love that. And you know, there will be a
picture of you know, the skate park Boss on our
Instagram for you to see. Like it's it's really like
it's legitimately a elderly mobility scooter that you know, you
picture like an old granny and or blanket, you know,
cruising down the sidewalk or something, and he's like spinning
around and doing wheelies and doughnuts and shit, it's amazing.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
That's so fun. I wonder if he was like a
skater back in the day, maybe before he was in
a scooter or something like that, and he was like,
I'm just going to try my moves out in this
thing instead, like I was, like to the backstory.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
There grandkids that are skaters, or his kids or skater
were skaters or something like that. So it's more of
a going out there to spend time with them and
then just happening to I know, I love it.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
That's so cute.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
Okay. So this next headline is titled Walmart customer calls
cops after his self checkout avocado mishap charged thirteen hundred dollars. Oh, Walmart,
Let me set the scene for you. We're at a
self checkout in Walmart where a man is calmly scanning
his groceries.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
The poor man, instead of punching in nine avocados, somehow
punched in nine hundred and ninety nine. This brought his
receipt total to a whopping thirteen hundred dollars. At that point,
most people would think oops, wrong number, but nope, not
our guy. He yelled that Walmart was robbing him, and
(12:00):
he called the police, essentially on himself.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
Meanwhile, Walmart's staff tried to help, fixing pricing glitches, smoothing
things over, but he was like my toddler in a
full blown meltdown tantrum. I want compensation. For my emotional distress.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
The police showed up expecting a robbery suspect. Instead, they
found a man clutching a card of produce demanding reparations.
They eventually handcuffed him and let him out. His own
nine to one to one call ended in his arrest. Classic.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
I mean, there's obviously a whole lot we don't know
to the story. But my soul takeaway from this is
that I don't plan on using a self checkout anytime soon.
My cell phone already gives me enough trouble as it is.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
I have so many questions like this. This person obviously
did not understand how to you self check out and
the fact that they sat there screaming at them when
they put in the wrong number. Why are people like this?
Speaker 1 (13:14):
I take that back. My soul takeaway from this will
be I will never work in retail services again. Ever,
I don't know how y'all do it?
Speaker 2 (13:23):
Really? Truly truly like retail customer like service people are saints, Yes,
says There's a reason why I never worked or I
never worked very long in customer service and I was
never like, I was never like a server or anything
(13:47):
like that, because I would have thrown a drink at
somebody first day and got fired.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
I think it's something that everybody needs to experience, though,
like one at one point in their life, just to
see what it's like on the other side, to ensure
that you don't treat people that way when you go out.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
That's just common fucking sense. Though you would think, excre's
my language, and that's and you can judge people a
lot by the way they treat white staff, oh for sure.
So the fact that this person called the cops because
it's just and they were trying to help, it's like
the call them death.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
So that brings me to this point, like, Okay, yes
there are some genuine a holes working in customer service.
Like my experience at Taco Bell yesterday was less than
a less than pleasant, but I still remained smiling, even
though I probably looked scary and cheerful and polite and
said please and thank you. But the the the cashier
(14:44):
was less less than pleasant to deal with. So like,
there's always two Also.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
You have to think about it. It's like you don't
know what's happening in that person's day either, so.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
They could just be an asshole or they could have
just gotten some really bad news and they're just trying
to get through the rest of their day. You don't know,
so instead of like marking back in them, I mean,
unless they truly do something heinous.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
To you personally. Yeah, b flights up and whatever. Oh
there's MYSA for the day. Be nice, people, just be nice.
Our next headline is team goes a viral after bringing
(15:27):
two hundred tortillas on flight from Texas. Just went on through.
Anna Jones, a Nashville resident, boarded a flight from Austin
to Nashville with an unconventional carry on a backpack filled
with two hundred HB tortillas. I do understand this.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
If you're not from Texas, maybe you haven't heard of
our beloved grocery store chain. But it doesn't get much
better around these parts, especially those tortillas. Anna posted a
video on TikTok saying, all these people and no one
knows I have two hundred HB tortillas in my backpack.
And just like that, she became the tortilla Queen of
(16:09):
the Internet.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
Oh and let's let's clear it up. These are like
freshly made flour or corn tortillas that you can get
hot in the store. Yes, like still steaming in the bag,
HLS in your.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
Mouth, bakery tortilla.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
Yes, these are not just normal yish no no, and
TSA didn't bat an eye. They just let her roll
on through. As it turns out, transporting tortillas is a
family tradition for Anna. She explained that her dad buys
as many as three hundred tortillas for her to bring home,
(16:47):
and they freeze them to last about two months. Three
hundred tortillas in two months.
Speaker 1 (16:53):
You've seen a lot of tortillas. Yeah, She's not alone.
Other Texans have shared their own tortilla try tails. One
person flew with CHIB tortillas from San Antonio to Amsterdam,
then drove them to Belgium. Another took them from San
Antonio to Italy. I mean, when you love something, you
(17:13):
take it everywhere.
Speaker 2 (17:15):
Yeah, And if you ever find yourself in Texas and
looking for a unique souvenir, forget about cowboy hats or
boots overrated, just grab a stack of HB tortillas and
you're good to go. The butter ones are amazing, they
really are, you know. I actually saw a headline recently.
I saw the headline, didn't read the full article, but
(17:36):
I've seen it several times about this issue right here,
not this specific story, but about people who come to
Texas and buy a shit ton of the tortillas and
then travel with them. And apparently CHIB is coming up
with a way for people to successfully do this, like
they are trying to support this. I came up with
(17:59):
the whole point.
Speaker 1 (17:59):
I cannot say enough good things about HIB, especially how
they're rallying right now for the flood victims, and just
hgb ap, you are notch Yes, Okay, this next headline,
oh boy can get ready? Weird silicone phone case feels
(18:25):
like human skin and it can even get sunburned. Okay,
are we really ready for a phone case that feels
just like human skin and can get sunburnt? Literally?
Speaker 2 (18:36):
Never never? But Mark Tessier, in collaboration with Virgin Media
O two, has created the skin case.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
I love how you said that.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
I'm sorry, a synthetic phone case designed to mimic the
appearance and texture of human skin. It's made from silicone
in features intricately carved wrinkles to enhance realism. This is
not okay.
Speaker 1 (19:07):
Oh and if that wasn't enough, the skin case is
UV reactive. That's right. It can get sunburned, just like
I do, from standing outside for more than ten minutes
at a time. So now not only do you have
to worry about your skin, but also your phones.
Speaker 2 (19:24):
The idea behind this is to raise awareness about the
dangers of UV exposure, because nothing says protect your skin
like a phone case that changes color in the sun.
And I mean, let's not forget the added bonus of
having a phone case that feels like human skin.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
Okay, quite honestly, the thought of reaching over for my
phone in the middle of the night to check the
time or something and rubbing across something that feels disturbingly
like human skin that shouldn't be there would freak me
the hell out and I wouldn't go back to sleep. No.
But I mean, if you're looking for a phone case
that's both function and a little unsettling, the skin case
(20:02):
might just be for you.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
I could see this being up some people's alleys, But
my issue is I think it's great that they're trying
to raise awareness about the dance of u V exposure.
Can we do it in a different way that's not
making a cell phone case.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
I don't know people have phones in their hand all
the goddamn time all the time. So what better way
than something that's already in your hand to be like
a warning, Hey dude, Like, I'm I'm here to make
it weird. I am the weirdo. I kind of want
one to be perfectly honest.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
It's literally like, no, it makes my skin crawl, like.
Speaker 1 (20:41):
And I would totally get it tattooed too. By the way,
I'm just saying it's creepy, but I'm I love it.
That's why I love it because it's creepy.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
Creeps me the hell out. I'm like, this is gross.
I can't even reading it.
Speaker 1 (20:56):
I was like it, did you know? There was visible
shivers going up your spine?
Speaker 2 (20:59):
It was skin weirds me out. Okay, this next headline
seems fitting for our impending traveling TSA at NYC Airport
stopped me for having something crazy in my carry on,
(21:20):
But it's the best thing to have on a flight.
A woman was stopped at Newark Liberty International Airport for
carrying something a little unorthodox in her carry on.
Speaker 1 (21:32):
Yep, that's right. Chloe Gray, a lifestyle influencer, was detained
by TSA for bringing a whole ass rotisserie chicken from
Whole Foods on her flight from New Jersey to California.
Nothing says eating healthy like a hot bird in your backpack.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
Yeah, exactly. She explained that she brought the chicken to
maintain healthy eating habits and manage her blood sugar during
the long cross country trip, because who needs snacks when
you have a full meal in your bag.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
TSA didn't even bat an eye. They just let her
wing it. Apparently a whole rotisserie chicken is now considered
carry on approofed.
Speaker 2 (22:11):
Okay, so you can't bring water through TSA, but you
can bring a whole chicken. Make it makes sense? But
I mean not everyone was impressed. The internet had a
field day with her poultry packed journey. One user commented,
someone sitting next to me on a plane pulling out
a rotisseriy chicken would be my last straw.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
Another chimed in, no, no, no, the strong smell on
the flight is diabolical. Nothing says luxury travel like the
scent of roasted chicken wafting through the cabin mixed with
god knows what other sensor in that enclosed space.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
Yeah. But Chloe defended her decision, saying it was her
version of a designer bag. What because when you're flying ecotomy,
a rotisserie chicken is the ultimate accessory. So if you're
ever in a pinch and need a meal, ago, just
grab a rotisserie chicken and head to the airport. Who
knows you might start a new travel trend.
Speaker 1 (23:07):
I'm not gonna lie. If I wasn't so worried about
like pissing other people off, I would one hundred percent
do this and just like fulfill my leelu fifth element
desires and sit there with a whole rotisserie chicken and
just cagworm.
Speaker 2 (23:25):
Look, I can't be mad at this. She is right.
It's great healthy option, great protein. Like it's it's better
than just sitting there eating a bunch of carb loaded snacks.
Speaker 1 (23:35):
Or sugar sweet junk.
Speaker 2 (23:38):
They're just gonna crash your blood sugar.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
Oh my god, Now I want a chicken.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
We have? I have a rotisar chicken.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
Oh you know what, maybe I'll go to h B
for lunch and grab a chicken and some tortillas.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
I've been eating, like a low carb tortilla with I'll
tear up some other rotisseri chicken, a little bit of
shredded lettuce, parmesan cheese, and little bit of caesar dressing
and it's like a chicken caesar rat and it's deliciousious
because AGB has really good rotisseery chickens.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
Yes they do. Oh the lemon pepper is my favorite.
Speaker 2 (24:11):
Yes, same. I'm not even mad at this. It just
made me hungry, I know. Oh man, Now we got
to get some rotesss y chickens. Yep, thanks for the idea.
That's great, of course.
Speaker 1 (24:26):
Maybe we'll maybe we'll find a chicken to bring with
us on the plane, Okay, and we can report back
and let y'all know if it worked or not.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
Chicken and tortillas.
Speaker 1 (24:35):
Yes, I'll carry the tortillas, you carry the chicken. Oh God,
So this next headline, I mean, I guess it could
be worse. I love Red Bull so much. I got
(24:59):
a bar code tattoo. It even scans at the grocery checkout.
I can't even handle the smell of Red Bull myself anymore,
which may or may not have something to do with
my turning twenty one and drinking alcoholic beverages.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
But anyway, I absolutely cannot handle Red Bull for the
same exactly. It's PTSD like inducing, I can't do it,
but this woman was so passionate about Red Bull that
she decided to permanently ink her love for the energy
drink onto her skin.
Speaker 1 (25:35):
Yep, Do, a Swiss content creator, got a fully functional
Red Bull barcode tattooed on her body, and, as we mentioned,
it actually scans at the grocery store.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
Because nothing says I Love Red Bull like turning your
body into a walking advertisement. Do reportedly spend over six
hundred dollars on the tattoo, which features a worm munching
on the barcode based on a sketch from her sister.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
And if you want to see that picture, you can
head to our instagram.
Speaker 2 (26:09):
I'm a worm anyway.
Speaker 1 (26:12):
Do tested it at a self checkout and the skater
actually beaped, charging her for a two hundred and fifty
milli liter can of Red Bull.
Speaker 2 (26:20):
So now every time Doo goes to the store she
can just scan her arm and get charged for a drink.
She probably doesn't even need talk about loyalty, and you know.
Speaker 1 (26:30):
The Internet's kind of loving it. The video of Do
scanning her tattoo has gone viral, amassing over seven point
nine million views on TikTok Red Bull Germany even called
it incredible, but not everyone is impressed.
Speaker 2 (26:47):
Some critics are questioning the practicality of the tattoo, given
that barcodes can change over time. Do however, remains unfazed,
saying she doesn't care.
Speaker 1 (26:58):
You know, personally, I love Taco Bell Guilty Pleasure exposed.
But you're not gonna see me getting the logo tattooed
on me anytime soon. I mean, you know, unless they
want to like hook me up with a lifetime supply
of tacos or something.
Speaker 2 (27:13):
Just saying, right, if you love them so much that
you were willing to put that on your skin, that
should be immediate free taco like every time.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
Yeah, just flash that and be like, hey, here's a
soft taco.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
I don't think it's fair for people to criticize her
for doing something for her own personal gain enjoyment or
it's not like she's hurting anybody and if it changes,
so what like that's.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
Like, that's not why people get tattoos. We get tattoos
because we had some extra cash and we liked a
pretty design and it's it's cute, like the little worm.
The little worm is adorable, like It's not just a
simple boring you know barcode. It's you know barcode, and
the worm is like munching on part of the barcode.
(27:57):
So it's missing, and it's a cute little you know,
it's it's cute. Hey, whatever, no judgment here, Whatever floats
your canoe. Yeah, people are always gonna have something to
say about whatever anybody else does. For sure.
Speaker 2 (28:08):
Whatever, Okay, not going to lie. I love this next
headline frustrated homeowners missing wallet was hidden in plane sight
for days thanks to a bizarre optical illusion. A homeowner
(28:29):
has been two days searching for their missing wallet, only
to find it lying in plain sight on the bathroom
floor the entire time.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
Oh yes, According to a Reddit post on mildly Infuriating,
the wallet blended so seamlessly with the bathroom tiles due
to an optical illusion that it went unnoticed for forty
eight hours. Talk about a game of hide and seek
for adults.
Speaker 2 (28:57):
Yeah, seriously. The homeowner probably retrace their steps, checked every
nook and cranny, and even called the family pet to
help search, but the wallet remained elusive, hiding in plain
sight like a ninja in a sea of beige.
Speaker 1 (29:13):
And when they finally discovered it. The realization must have
been both a relief and a face palm moment. It
was right there the whole time, they probably exclaimed, followed
by a deep sigh and a vow to never take
their eyesight for granted again.
Speaker 2 (29:32):
Of course, the internet had a field day with this.
Reddit users flooded the thread with comments ranching from sympathetic
to downright hilarious. One user wrote it really blends in,
while another quipped, did you not take a shit for
two days? It's literally right there. We'll have the photo
of the bathroom floor and the wallet hidden in plain
(29:53):
sight on our Instagram for you to see, so be
sure to check it out.
Speaker 1 (29:58):
It's so good. It's so good.
Speaker 2 (30:01):
Beige beige wallet. I got to see the pictures. I
can like imagine what the wall that looks like.
Speaker 1 (30:12):
For our final headline of the day, let's head back
to the airport passenger flagged by TSA after swamp crotch
sets off alarm and it's happening to others too. Look, man,
we live in Texas. Sweating is inevitable throughout the majority
of the year.
Speaker 2 (30:32):
This sounds like my worst nightmare. Okay, so apparently if
your nether regions are moist enough, those a fancy millimeter
wave scanners think it's a weapon. Oh my god. A
passenger flying after a fifteen year hiatus got flagged twice
and all her pockets were empty. No piercings, nothing suspicious,
(30:53):
just humidize and bite.
Speaker 1 (30:55):
Shorts, which begs the question should we start a moral
panic around sweaty groins?
Speaker 2 (31:02):
Oh no?
Speaker 1 (31:03):
On Reddit, some helpful souls report the TSA guard actually
said swamp crotch out loud, because that's definitely what you
want broadcasted while you're standing there in your sweaty compression gear.
Speaker 2 (31:16):
That's horrible. TSA expert Shanna Malvini Reddin confirmed that yes,
sweat can set off the machine. Moisture bounces back the
waves and the scanner goes beep, and suddenly your crotch
is under full investigation.
Speaker 1 (31:33):
And moisture isn't alone in making your crotch suspicious. Feminine pads,
tight fabrics, even your own curves, because heaven forbid you
have a bootylicious behind.
Speaker 2 (31:46):
I feel like the scanner should be better than that.
Some countries, like France and Germany have said nah, we're
good and banned those scanners entirely, thank you. Meanwhile, in
the US, TSA says relax accounts for body diversity, but
not for swamp crotch.
Speaker 1 (32:04):
So what's the fix where moisture wicking underwear, skip the
bike shorts, and maybe sprinkle some baby powder before hopping
in the airport? Cueue, Because if you're growin primed that
submachine gun scanner, you're in for a pat down. Welcome
to Summer TSA twenty twenty five, where your crotch can
threaten national security. Bring deodorant and maybe an alibi.
Speaker 2 (32:28):
That's terrifying.
Speaker 1 (32:31):
Now do you see why I suggested we wear like
a loose, flowy dress to.
Speaker 2 (32:36):
Oh God, that poor woman. That's I don't even know
what to say to that. Like, I'm just like, dear God,
I know.
Speaker 1 (32:45):
Good times, Yeah, I really, I just cannot get over
the bathroom one. Like I looking at the photo definitely
overlooked at myself when i've and when I finally realized
where it was, I can not imagine how that dude felt.
Speaker 2 (33:03):
No, that's insane. A lot of these are. I'm the
rotissery chicken one, hands down, hands down my favorite, just
because it's like so freaking random, and the fact that
she's like, yeah, so what I brought a rotissery chicken
because it's nothing, It's nothing you would ever think about doing.
(33:24):
And the fact that the TSA was like, yeah, okay, cool, whatever,
have fun because normally you can't. I don't even think
you're supposed to bring any sort of food or drinks
through TSA.
Speaker 1 (33:36):
Not that you didn't purchase past So maybe there was
like a whole foods in that airport or something, and
she don't. I don't know. I don't know these things.
Speaker 2 (33:47):
Yeah, because normally, like all the food stuff is past TSA.
So I mean, I've brought like bags of dry snacks
and things like that in bags through TSA and they
don't care about that. But a rotisseery chicken, Like, also,
there's a there's there's a hole in there, like you
could hide stuff in there if you really wanted to.
Speaker 1 (34:04):
Oh god, oh god, I didn't even think about that.
Speaker 2 (34:08):
It could be a security issue. I don't freaking know
that one. What's my favorite one, especially because now I'm
really hungry.
Speaker 1 (34:14):
Yeah, you're gonna have to get some meurtisserie chicken. Absolutely well,
if you like what you heard today, please give us
a five star rating and review wherever you're listening from.
We honestly can't stress enough how much it means to
us and how much it helps out.
Speaker 2 (34:29):
It really does, and be sure to follow us on
socials at Weird true Crime, on Instagram and TikTok, or
shoot us an email at Weird true Crime at gmail
dot com. We would love to hear from you. But
before we say goodbye, let's hear that riddle one last time.
What do you call a flying monkey? The answer a
(34:52):
hot air baboon. Yeah. Amber already apologized for that one.
I'm so sorry, but I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1 (35:03):
I don't know why I am the way that I am.
Speaker 2 (35:05):
That's like the first corny joke.
Speaker 1 (35:09):
I had to.
Speaker 2 (35:10):
I love it. It goes, I mean, it goes along
with the chimp thing.
Speaker 1 (35:13):
That's why. That's why.
Speaker 2 (35:15):
Yeah, okay, like I can't I can't help it. I
have to do this. I had can't stop myself.
Speaker 1 (35:21):
I had another one, but then yeah, like the the
intrusive thoughts took over and it said, no, hot air baboon,
you need to do it.
Speaker 2 (35:29):
You know what, Sometimes you just gotta you gotta go
with the stupid jokes until next time. Stay safe and
make good choices.
Speaker 1 (35:40):
Goodbye, there's our peanut gallery.
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