Finding Your Way Through A Spiritual Crisis: A Journey of Questioning and Growth

What happens when you begin to question the spiritual path you've been walking? When the God you thought you knew becomes a question mark rather than an exclamation point? This deeply personal episode explores the disorienting yet ultimately transformative experience of going through a spiritual crisis.

After an unexpected ending to a five-year relationship with my spiritual coach, I found myself adrift in questions about God's benevolence and the nature of spiritual truth. This crisis prompted me to examine how we navigate periods of profound uncertainty about our most fundamental beliefs. Rather than viewing these questioning periods as unnecessary or negative, I share why they're actually essential components of authentic spiritual growth—clearing space for deeper truths to emerge, ie. spiritual maturation.

Drawing from my own experience, I offer practical guidance for supporting yourself through existential questioning. From finding the right therapist or spiritual director to establishing daily journaling practices, connection within nature, and community support, these anchor points provide stability while navigating unfamiliar spiritual territory. I explore the critical skill of discernment—learning to distinguish between fear-based resistance and genuine spiritual guidance—and how embodied wisdom helps us recognize what paths are truly aligned with our spiritual development.

The journey continues as we continue riding the wave of life. And, as uncomfortable as existential questioning can be, it opens us to what Thomas Hübl calls "the receptivity of revelation"—the capacity to receive new insights that transform our understanding of life, God, and ourselves. Join me in embracing the sacred discomfort of not knowing, where our deepest spiritual growth often happens. 

Sign up at WelcomingGod.com for our new ebook that will help you integrate these tools for navigating your own spiritual journey.

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Check out Thomas Hubl's work here.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey everyone, sarah here, just to let you know
sometimes I do use swear wordsin these episodes and we may at
times discuss adult content.
In case you happen to belistening around, little ones or
people that won't appreciatethat.
Thanks so much for listeningand let's get right into it, hi,

(00:24):
and thanks for joining me onWelcoming God.
You know what?
The growth never ends and thatcan feel daunting, frustrating,

(01:08):
angering, exciting up.
Understand, I am not sure Idon't see clearly or I'm not
seeing clearly what's in frontof me because I'm not accepting
the truth of reality.
So that's a big thing as well.
But what is apparent to me moreand more is life truly is a

(01:35):
journey.
As cliche as that saying is, itis valid and true.
It speaks to our experience ashuman beings, and I see it in my
parents, I see it in otherelders no matter how old you get
, you still have the capacity,we still have the capacity to

(01:58):
learn, grow, heal, evolve,transform, transcend, and that
is a blessing.
Does it mean life is alwaysgoing to be easy and effortless
or feel easy and effortless?
No, and that sucks to the partof me that doesn't want to

(02:20):
suffer anymore or doesn't wantto see life suffer anymore.
I feel really over that.
I'm really ready to see us livein a better way.
I'm ready to see myself live ina better way.
And it's gotten better andbetter as I've gone along on the
path, on the journey healing,learning, growing, new insights,

(02:44):
revelations, veil liftingmoments where I see things I
didn't see or understand before.
Yes, it is getting better andit has gotten way better than it
ever has been.
And I'm still going.
I'm still on the journey.
I am on the journey here.
So how do we deal with anexistential crisis?

(03:10):
How do we deal when we'reconfronted with big questions
like I don't know what I thinkor how I feel about God right
now?
I don't know if what I've beenthinking and believing is
actually true for me anymore,and I'm not sure what is true.

(03:32):
How do we deal with that?
How do we process that?
So just a little insight intomy life.
I was working with a spiritualcoach for five and a half years
or so and that relationshipended this year in a way that I

(03:55):
didn't expect and, surprisingly,I did not anticipate that
relationship ending, even thoughI was curious about what it
might be to work with otherpeople.
But we had what I thought was agood thing going and I learned
a ton and healed a ton throughworking with him.

(04:15):
And the relationship ended andit didn't feel good the way that
it was ending and I felt soconfused and upset and disturbed
by that, like what the heck isgoing on here, and I just prayed
about it.
I did my best to be upfront andhonest with him.

(04:36):
We finally had a conversationto complete things, which felt
challenging at first as well,but I just used the tools that
he taught me as far as bringingGod in to the conversation,
doing whatever is God's perfectwill for my life and our lives
and the greater good, andeventually it was clear okay,

(04:59):
this relationship has ended andnow it's time to move on.
And, to be honest, in our lastsession I was asking him a
question about God's benevolenceand he said, well, yes, god is
benevolent and it may not alwaysfeel good, and that just put

(05:21):
this huge question mark in myhead and I never got to process
through that with him becausethen our relationship shifted.
So I've been holding thisquestion and wondering about it
and wondering about God andwondering about praying and
wondering about you know, all ofthese things that feel like

(05:42):
some big question marks for meright now.
And the biggest thing for meright now is that I have help in
my life.
Thankfully I have a therapistthat I see weekly.
I am a part of three differentspiritually or evolutionary

(06:05):
transformative groups onlinememberships that I touch in with
one weekly, two I touch in witha couple times a month, once or
twice a month, and I get a lotof support from that.
I have a dear cousin who isvery spiritually minded who I

(06:25):
can bounce things off of and getsupport from, and family and
some friends and that kind ofthing.
But going through any kind ofchange or existential crisis or
existential questioning, like Idon't know what I believe right

(06:46):
now oh my God, like I'm doingthis podcast and I'm having an
existential questioning momentthis doesn't feel good and it's
totally normal.
No-transcript, searching,seeking opening, softening

(07:13):
healing to let more of the truthin, to open up to more of the
truth, to reveal, like ThomasHoople talks about revealing,
the revelatory experience ofbeing a human being on a healing
path is the willingness, thecapability of being willing to

(07:41):
allow for the receptivity ofrevelation.
What is being revealed to me,what's being revealed to you,
through our life experience,through our inner life, what we
find ourselves thinking about orfeeling, or experiences from

(08:01):
the past that are coming up tobe dealt with, healed, etc.
So, although an existentialcrisis can feel very scary and
unsettling, even disturbing,uncomfortable, don't stop there.
Allow yourself to move throughit, get support.

(08:26):
Do you work with a spiritualcounselor, director, companion?
Can you find a good therapist?
Can you talk to a trustedfriend?
Whatever it is?
How will you support yourself?
Can you start a journalingprocess daily to journal out

(08:51):
your thoughts and feelings, soyou don't feel so alone in it?
What do you need to do to helpyourself process through an
existential questioning periodof your life?
Because most likely, it's goingto happen again, and it doesn't
mean you're going to go back towhere you were today, but it

(09:13):
might happen in a new way.
You might have new questions,new thoughts, new ideas that are
helping you clear out morestuff inside so that you can be
more a space for the truth oflife, this mystery that we call
life, because we really don'tknow exactly what is happening

(09:36):
here.
It is a mystery and we have alot of experiences that we can
see, tangible experiences, humanexperiences.
So how will you supportyourself.
If you're going through somequestioning about spirituality,
about God, about higher power,maybe it's even questioning

(09:57):
about your career orrelationship or your living
situation.
What will you do to supportyourself through this
questioning period of your life?
What practices will support you?
How does being in naturesupport you?
How would journaling supportyou?

(10:21):
Or getting a good therapist towork with?
Or a spiritual coach, companiondirector and therapists and
spiritual directors?
You know you've got to try someout, possibly in the beginning
to see who's a right fit.
But how will you know?
Yes, I feel called to work withthis person.

(10:45):
I feel that movement within myspirit to say yes to this.
I do not feel a movement in myspirit to say yes to this.
I feel a movement that this isa no.
So we have to start learninghow to more deeply clearly
discern what the guidance isthat's coming up through us.

(11:05):
Is that just fear or is that areal, valid clarity?
This is a yes, this is a no.
And that takes some diggingsometimes and it can take some
time to understand and figureout.
So how will you supportyourself in this time in an

(11:28):
existential questioning of whereyou're at in life or your
relationship with God, or work,career relationships, etc.
I look forward to talking withyou next week and again, we've
got the Welcoming God ebookcoming out.

(11:50):
All you have to do is sign upfor the email list.
Go to welcominggodcom and youcan sign up for the email list.
The ebook will be sent out viathe email list and it basically
goes through the first season ofthe Welcoming God podcast with
some existential, open-endedquestions that you can ponder,

(12:14):
inquire about as you go throughthat first season again to more
deeply integrate all of thesedifferent tools to living a more
spiritual life.
So definitely head over towelcominggodcom and sign up for
the email list and thank you somuch for being here and sign up

(12:35):
for the email list.
And thank you so much for beinghere.
I wish you well on your journey, your existential questioning
journey, and more love, moreblessings, more truth, more
peace.
Aloha nui loa and I'll see younext week.
Hey everyone, sarah Haeckel herefrom Welcoming God, a podcast
for spiritual seekers.
This is a legal disclaimer tosay that this podcast is not a

(12:59):
substitute for therapy orprofessional help.
I am not a trained therapist.
I also have not studiedtheology in a formal setting.
This podcast is purely foreducational, inspirational
purposes, to share the goodnessof welcoming God back into my
life and all of the things thatI'm learning on this journey.

(13:21):
So thank you for joining mehere.

(13:41):
Episode of Welcoming God.
Please subscribe to thispodcast wherever you listen, and
consider leaving us a review,as it helps more people find and
benefit from this show.
Music by Song Channel Music.
You can listen and hear more atsongchannelmusiccom.
Until we meet again, aloha nuiloa, take care and God bless,

(14:05):
thank you.