April 10, 2025 • 57 mins
Send Naihomy encouraging words!💕
Asha Wilkerson shares her powerful journey from law school and tenured teaching to ancestral healing work, exploring the courage it takes to follow your intuition rather than societal expectations.
• Breaking free from familial and societal expectations even when you've achieved the "dream job"
• Reconnecting with your intuition through creating quiet spaces and intentional practices
• Understanding the connection between food choices and mental clarity
• How breathwork can help access deeper states of consciousness and ancestral wisdom
• Reframing ancestral honoring from struggle and sacrifice to joy and freedom
• Finding the courage to trust yourself even when others question your choices
• Small, sustainable steps to begin connecting with your intuition and authentic self
Connect with Asha on Instagram @AshaWilkersonESQ or visit her website ashawilkerson.com/register to learn about her upcoming workshop "Meet Your Ancestral Guides" and her 12-week group program "Guided" starting April 17th.
Learn more about Asha
Asha Wilkerson is an intuitive healing guide, breathwork facilitator, and ancestral healing practitioner who helps high-achieving Black women and women of color break free from external expectations and reconnect with their inner wisdom. Through intuitive coaching, ancestral connection practices, and somatic healing tools like breathwork and Reiki, Asha helps her clients trust themselves again, find safety within, and embrace joy as an act of liberation and ancestral reverence.
A former attorney and educator, Asha blends her practical approach with deep spiritual insight, showing women how to honor both their lineage and their personal desires. Whether leading group healing journeys, facilitating ancestral healing ceremonies, or guiding clients 1:1, her work is rooted in the belief that joy, ease, and intuition are powerful tools for personal and collective healing.
Learn more at ashawilkerson.com
Instagram: @ashawilkersonesq
Newsletter: www.ashawilkerson.com/email
Thank you so much for listening!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Naihomy (00:02):
Hello friends, welcome back to Wealthy Generation
Podcast.
Today I have the dear, dear,dear Asha Wilkerson here.
We met through a coachingprogram and then she coached me
and she actually helped methrough a very intense period of
my life where I was just inshambles and she really helped
(00:27):
me get to the other side withthat and calm down and process
my thoughts and all that.
So just to show that we allneed support in certain areas
and we have this beautifulcommunity of really talented
people, beautiful community ofreally talented people.
(00:47):
Asha is on here to talk with us.
All things intuitive, allthings breaking free and really
showing up for who you are.
And I am really excited for herto share her story because
every time I hear it, I was, I'malways like dang, I admire you
so much Like you did what, likeyou moved on to what.
So I'm going to let her tellyou Welcome, asha, to the
(01:11):
podcast.
Thank you.
Asha (01:13):
I'm excited to be here.
Naihomy (01:15):
I'm excited to have you , so please share with us who
you are, what you do and alittle bit about your story.
Asha (01:22):
Oh my goodness, this question always throws me for a
loop Like what do I say?
Naihomy (01:28):
And who do I say it to and all that stuff, but uh, I
want you to say it to oh, I'llhelp you with that, because I
wish I was listening to this wayway, way many years ago.
I want you to say it to thatwoman who is checking off all
boxes, that society has told herthat she needs to check off and
(01:49):
then she feels superunfulfilled and scared to follow
her true passion.
Asha (01:55):
Is that how it goes?
Yes, it is, and that's also theyounger version of myself right
To that person.
The reason why you feelunfulfilled still after doing
all the things is because you'reliving for everybody else and
not for you.
And when we come fromcommunities of color, from
immigrant families, from firstgen and so many different senses
(02:17):
of the word, we're not reallygiven a chance to ask what we
want, and so we do all thethings that we're supposed to.
To ask what we want, and so wedo all the things that we're
supposed to.
And then sometimes for some ofus along the way, we realize
that the stuff that we'resupposed to do just doesn't
light us up, and so that's whereI found myself.
I went to law school, notbecause anybody told me to, but
what parents are going to say,no, don't go to law school.
(02:38):
My mom was also the first Blackwoman to integrate the
University of Mississippi in theUnited States, and so I came
from a line of civil rightsleaders and barrier breakers,
and the expectation was I wasgoing to continue that legacy,
and it was probably moreunspoken pressure than explicit
pressure.
(02:58):
There was just an expectationof I was going to achieve, I was
going to get good grades, I wasgoing to make the family proud,
even though good grades I wasgoing to make the family proud,
even though they didn't say youhave to make the family proud.
But it would show up incomments of criticizing
so-and-so right, criticizingsomeone else.
You kind of take that in andinternalize it.
And I went to law school, workedfor a law firm, then started my
(03:21):
own practice, got burned out onthat and then started teaching
full-time at a community collegeand that was my dream job at
the time because I love teaching.
And then after seven and a halfyears of doing that, through
the pandemic also, it justwasn't aligned and it took me a
long time to admit that I didn'twant to do it anymore because
(03:42):
it was the dream job for me atone point and I had tenure,
which means that I couldn't befired.
My mom was a principal andworked for the same school
district for 40 years.
So she was like, yeah, you madeit and I'm like I made it and I
don't want it.
And so it took a lot for me togive myself the permission to
pivot and to do somethingdifferent.
Naihomy (04:10):
Yeah, what was that different stuff that you did?
Are you still a?
Asha (04:12):
lawyer now.
Are you still teaching now?
Yeah, technically I'm still alawyer, still an attorney, so
still licensed.
I have it on the back burnerjust in case I ever want to go
back.
And actually it's funny becauseI went inactive on my license
last year and then someone askedme to do a presentation.
I was like, ok, let me activateit, so I'm in compliance.
And then I deactivated it againor went inactive this year and
now my best friend is like, hey,I need some help with some work
(04:34):
.
She's like make sure you goactive, ok.
And I'm like, oh man, do Ireally want to do that?
So I still have a license, Istill hold a license.
Do that?
So I still have a license, Istill hold a license.
But recently I have moved toPortugal and I have been
focusing almost 100%, probably85%, on doing healing work,
helping women connect to theirintuition and ancestors,
(04:56):
ancestral connection, and I loveit.
And that started with my ownjourney in the pandemic.
Actually, way before that, mymom was really intuitive and I
remember being a kid and goingto these psychic fairs in
Portland Oregon and I rememberhave this vivid memory of having
my aura photo taken and theaura photos when they take a
picture and there's thedifferent lights around you and
they like the energy.
(05:18):
The light of the energy meanssomething and I remember being
like five and be like, oh,that's so cool.
So I always knew that my momwas intuitive and clairvoyant.
She would see things and justkind of know things.
But she never developed that inme, she never asked me about it
, so I didn't know how toconnect and I never thought that
I was and I would haveastrology readings.
They're like it's in your chart, you're intuitive.
(05:39):
I'm like I don't know whatyou're talking about, I don't
know how to connect and whoyou're talking to, but it's
there, I guess.
So during the pandemic wefinally I finally had enough
time.
I wasn't on the road all thetime and I could take some
classes to start to develop myintuition.
The more I learned about theenergy and about the spiritual
world, the more I learned.
It also complemented thescientific world and I was like,
(06:05):
oh, we've been taught our wholelives that this stuff, that
this witchy woo-woo stuff, isbad and we're going to hell and
it's of the devil and it's notreally.
It's actually like part of thenature and circuitry of our
bodies and so I have reallyloved being able to reconnect
with that and I really lovehelping women of color reconnect
with that, because it is a formof decolonization.
We were told by Christianity,told by white people, that all
(06:27):
of our black and brown practiceswere bad.
They weren't.
They were of earth, they wereof ourselves, they were
connected to the elements.
We got told that they were badso they could give us white
Jesus to follow and rules fromthe church.
Sorry if I'm offending anybody.
Not sorry, not sorry and rulesfrom the church.
Sorry if I'm offending anybody.
Naihomy (06:47):
Sorry, not sorry.
Go ahead, girl, Right, right,sorry, not sorry.
I'm screaming into the mic.
I am so sorry for your ears,but I'm excited Go ahead.
Asha (06:57):
Asha, quite, all right.
So it's really a practice ofcoming home to yourself, coming
home to the things that arefamiliar to your body, and you
may not recognize it right away,but the more time you give it,
your body will remember, becauseit is a part of you, it's a
part of what you've inheritedfrom your ancestors, it's a part
of like being a human beingthat we can connect to energy
(07:20):
that is beyond us.
So, in a big nutshell, toenergy that is beyond us.
Naihomy (07:26):
So, in a big nutshell, I want to drop something.
Asha (07:35):
What an intro.
I'm dropping pens over here.
Thanks for the setup.
You gave me that softballquestion.
Naihomy (07:38):
I was like okay, I got something to say, now Let me run
with it.
Look, I know this is whateverybody's thinking and I and I
know some of your story.
But I know people are like Ashawhat did your mother say about
quitting your job and moving anddoing all this?
I think that we worry a lotabout what people are going to
(08:00):
say, quote unquote wasting timeand money on this career, on
this path, and just kind ofthrowing it all away to follow
what happened.
What did your mom say?
How did you process it yourselfinternally to have the courage
(08:21):
to follow what you actuallywanted for yourself?
Asha (08:28):
have the courage to follow what you actually wanted for
yourself.
Naihomy (08:32):
Yeah, my mom when she doesn't agree with something,
but is trying not to tell you.
Asha (08:34):
She'll just go, she won't say anything.
I'm like mom, I'm thinkingabout doing this.
Naihomy (08:36):
She's like I'm like okay, something because she's
obviously saying something,right?
Asha (08:43):
So there was a lot of mm's in the beginning and my mom you
know my mom grew up.
She said she didn't realizethat they were a poor family
when she grew up because theywere so rich in love and they
had everything that they needed,but they didn't have a lot of
money.
So when she tells her storygrowing up, she says she knew
(09:03):
she couldn't go back home to herparents.
But what I know is that if sheever needed to go back home,
they would open the doors tobring her in, even though she
felt like they couldn'tfinancially support her Right.
So she has built her life andmade decisions with the idea
that she could never go backhome, which is what a lot of us
(09:24):
do.
So she decided to forego thepath of intuition and spiritual
connections so that she couldfocus on using her intellectual
mind and keeping her job foralmost 40 years in the same
school district.
So her vision of safety for me,like most parents, for any
child, is to get that job, getreally good at it, work at it
(09:44):
for 30 years even though that'slike impossible nowadays People
are no loyalty from theemployers or the employees and
put money away for retirement,buy a house and at the end
you're going to have it to livein.
That's the dream of the babyboomers.
And so when I deviated fromthat path like I still don't
think, she can actuallyreconcile in her mind that me
(10:05):
going to school has put me in somuch debt that I'm educated
like educated poor, right,because there's so much debt,
even though school debt has adifferent weight, of course,
than like credit card debt orsomething like that.
But I think, like in her mind,because that was the dream go to
college, get the job, work.
(10:30):
She doesn't understand thattimes are different.
Intellectually she can get it,but it doesn't make sense to her
, you know.
And so when I first startedtalking about maybe I would do
something different, it was like, well, how are you going to
live?
How are you going to survive?
What are you going to do?
Where are you going to live?
I'm also an only child too.
So there's a part of thefinancial security and safety
that she was worried about.
(10:51):
And then there's the part ofwhere are you going?
My only child, and she's notmarried, she's on the West Coast
, and so I ended up movingfurther and further away.
But I will say that the moreconfident I got in my decision,
the more.
She backed off and she would.
She never told me don't do it.
She never.
She just said you know, shejust asked some questions.
(11:14):
She never told me.
No, she was supportive in theway that she was able.
But the last time that I wenthome, just a couple months ago,
I was full of joy, I was justradiating joy.
I look younger, my skin isclearer, I'm just happy, just so
happy and fulfilled.
And she looked at me and waslike you made the right choice.
(11:35):
So sometimes the people most ofthe time the people around us
want what they think is best forus and that's their vision for
what's best for us.
But we may know that theirvision is not in alignment, and
so we have to develop theconfidence and the support to do
what we need to do.
Naihomy (11:54):
Yeah, wow, that's so good and you are looking good
girl.
Asha (11:59):
You really are Thank you.
Naihomy (12:02):
Now you had a hunch and you knew that you wanted
something different.
How about those people whodon't even give themselves the
opportunity to figure out whatthey want for themselves,
because they all they have seenis what their parents wanted for
them checking off those boxes,showing up how their parents
(12:27):
want them to show up, or itcould be society, it doesn't
have to be parents but theyhaven't even given themselves
and I feel like I fall into thiscategory to where you don't
even give yourself theopportunity to figure out if you
actually want somethingdifferent and you don't even
realize how unhappy you might beor how unfulfilled you might be
(12:50):
.
And the thought of evenexploring that, not even making
any changes, just exploring whoyou actually are and what you
might want, is kind ofterrifying.
Right, how would somebody juststart that process?
Or start like peelingthemselves off from everything
(13:12):
that you just mentioned, likesociety, what parents might want
for you, that safety that youcreated for yourself?
Then you were like, oh, I'mjust going to have to figure out
another way.
Asha (13:23):
Yeah, it's hard to start asking the questions because if
the answer means that a changeneeds to happen, then that means
a change needs to happen.
And so oftentimes we get onthis path and it's like man,
it's going to make me dosomething different.
And so we don't ask because wedon't want to know, because we
don't actually want to dosomething different.
But if we are curious the thing, my recommendation is to spend
(13:47):
five minutes, maybe in themornings or some quiet time, and
just ask if I could do anything.
What would I do If I didn'thave any rules?
What would I do If I didn'thave to worry about money?
What would I do?
How would I show up?
Where would I be?
How would I be?
And it's not going to come toyou in the first journaling
session, or you maybe you don'thave to write, you can just
(14:08):
think about it.
But if you start to askyourself that question over and
over and over again, withcuriosity not with judgment, not
with saying this is never goingto happen or I have to make x
amount of money, but just withcuriosity your brain will start
to open up to the possibilitiesof oh, I would love to travel
the world and teach?
Oh, I would love to.
(14:28):
You know, run a fitness company?
I would love to, whatever it isfor you.
But you have to give yourself,your brain, the permission to
even ask the question and you'llbe surprised.
It was hard for me to do thatwhen I was teaching until a
friend of mine said well, whydon't you just quit?
I said what Quitting had neveroccurred to me.
Yeah, I don't think my mom, myuncle, my auntie, I don't think
(14:53):
they had ever just quit,especially not with something
else lined up.
And so, my friend, thatquestion opened up the door for
me and I could go.
What if I did quit the samething?
What if I could do somethingdifferent?
What would I do?
Naihomy (15:06):
And just be curious, yeah, so if you figured it out
and we're going to get intointuition and food and all that
in a little bit too but ifyou're, you figure that out, you
thought about it and you'refigured out one next action step
(15:28):
to take, and then people startsaying stuff, your parents start
saying things.
You're crazy.
How are you going to do that?
You're going to leave all thisbehind.
That's stupid.
That's reckless.
How do you keep going?
How do you trust yourself to belike, okay, there may be trying
(15:51):
to protect me, maybe they'reprojecting, um, maybe it's a
different mentality, like youmentioned, boomers versus us,
different resources.
How do you just trust yourselfto move forward, even if you're
feeling guilty, even if you'refeeling afraid or I don't know.
(16:12):
I don't know how I was feeling.
Actually, by the time I starteddoing this, I was like fuck
everybody, right, fucking shitExactly.
Asha (16:24):
That's a possibility too.
Naihomy (16:25):
Yes, but what about if you're not there and you're like
, oh my god, I?
Don't know this feels so unsafe.
How would somebody handle that?
Asha (16:34):
yeah, well, there's nothing that says that you have
to make a move right away okay,and you can also do the next
step.
That feels comfortable, or youcan wait until you're a pressure
cooker and it's like fuckeverybody like you feel like I'm
done when I when I'm a pressurecooker yeah, you're right.
When I got to the point I waslike I just can't.
I knew that I couldn't take itanymore because it was either
(16:57):
going to be my mental health orit was going to be me, and not
because the job was bad or wrong.
That's something we lookforward to.
We justify it.
It it's not that bad, it's notthat hard.
They pay me really wellFantastic.
The question is is it inalignment with you?
Does it make you feel good orare you fighting yourself?
And I think anytime we start tojustify we all know that
(17:17):
girlfriend, that justifies theman that's in her life, like
well he's really nice.
You're like girl.
You can think about your joblike that and you're like well
he's really nice.
You're like girl, you can thinkabout your job like that and
you're like well it's reallynice, be like give me bagels
every Thursday, exactly.
Right when we start to justify,that means we're not comfortable
(17:40):
in the decision.
But it's also important to findcommunity.
Find people who have done thething that you're looking to do,
like you're not going to go.
If you're interested inchanging your health, you're not
going to go to the person whohas never changed their health.
If you are looking to moveabroad, you're not going to go
to the person who's never lefttheir city.
(18:01):
If you're looking to dosomething, you're going to get
into community with the peoplewho are going the way that
you're going or who have beenwhere you're trying to go.
So the uncomfortable truth isthat we all outgrow our
communities in different levels,right, yeah, yeah, not everyone
stays in touch with theirelementary school friends or
(18:22):
high school friends or theircollege friends elementary
school friends or high schoolfriends or their college friends
.
Sometimes we outgrow ourparents.
Sometimes we outgrow oursiblings, and it doesn't mean
that anything is wrong or bad.
It just means that we havegrown and it does take some
mental fortitude to stick to adecision when everybody else
around you is telling you hey,you're crazy, blah, blah blah,
but when you know that it'sright for you, you won't even
(18:44):
hear them anymore.
Like my uncle was like you don'tneed to go all the way over
there to Portugal, you need tocome home and take care of your
mom.
I was like what I'm?
Like uh, you know, and Ihaven't lived in the same state
as my mom for like 20 yearssince.
I went to college, right, itjust surprised me so much, not
(19:07):
that he was really telling menot to go, but I was like, okay,
whatever, you didn't go home,take care of your parents.
You're, you're trained rightaway from my mom.
You go check, that's yoursister.
You go check, you know, not tolike lay down my daughterly
duties, but also getting clearon, like what is the role that
you really want to play in yourfamily.
Because that pressure comes up,because we somehow are
(19:30):
conditioned, either socializedor like by actual explicit words
, to feel like we owe ourparents.
We don't actually owe them.
We didn't ask to be here and Iget it because we've seen our
parents sacrifice so much for usto be here.
But I had a moment when I was inGhana, looking out of one of
the slave dungeons and lookingout of the window at the door of
(19:51):
no return, and it occurred tome like all my people have ever
wanted was to be free.
If I can get myself free, maybeI can help others be free and
like free in every sense of theword.
Our parents path to freedom wasvery specific Get a job.
Maybe it means moving to the US, maybe it means being the first
to go to a predominantly whiteinstitution, maybe it means the
(20:15):
first to have a corporate joband to have that financial
security.
But freedom really is being whoyou want to be, where you want
to be it, with whomever you wantto be, where you want to be it,
with whomever you want to be,with Right.
And so now that you have alittle bit more foundation than
your parents and we sendgratitude to them, thank, thank,
thank you you can make anotherchoice that really gets you to
(20:38):
freedom.
And when they see that you feelso good and you're happy and
you're healthy because that'swhat they want you to be happy
and healthy and whole and, youknow, stable Then they'll be
like oh, you were right, youknow they might not see it, but
they'll get on board eventually.
Naihomy (20:53):
Yeah, I've.
I've definitely had thoseexperiences where my mom thought
I was like cuckoo and she'slike what.
I don't think this is a goodidea, I don't know.
And then when everythingsettled, she's like oh, maybe
you were ready, Like I'm soproud of you.
But it does take so muchcourage to just trust yourself
(21:14):
and move forward with that.
And it's really good to justshow them right, Like, yeah,
sometimes when we stay stuck inwhat they think is best for us,
we're so miserable and that justdoesn't help anybody and it
builds a resentment and all that.
Asha (21:30):
So, good.
Naihomy (21:31):
So let's shift into intuition, right?
I've been working a lot.
I think that I'm a veryintuitive person.
I was born like that and I wasreally good at it as a kid, and
then, as I got older, I juststuffed it away because I was
checking boxes and I was justyou know, like you start
(21:54):
checking boxes, you startfulfilling other people's
expectations, your intuitionsounds a little crazy out of the
box, so it just gets scary.
I stuff it back in, right, right, and I feel like that, like my
habit to a lot of people and nowI'm working to reconnect with
it and sometimes what myintuition tells me is scary af
and I'm like what you're like?
(22:15):
No, um, but it has taken workfor me to even realize that
specific voice versus the voiceof maybe my ego or like the
voices that are trying toprotect me.
So how does one start toexplore, find that voice and how
(22:36):
do you know it's your intuitionversus your ego, or like the,
your brain, trying to protectyou from past experiences?
Asha (22:45):
Yeah, it's a really good question.
So typically your intuitionwill speak to you quietly and
it's not emotional.
And also, let me back up,because we have like electric
circuits in our body, like ourheart system is on an electrical
current, and we have othersystems that respond to
(23:06):
electricity and energy, really,right.
So we put food into our body,there's an energetic process
that happens to metabolize thefood and to move the food
through, and so we are a bundleor a like body of electricity,
of current, of energy.
Right, and also remember fromour high school science classes
(23:27):
that, like all matter, thiswater bottle that I have, this,
I don't know the air you breathe.
It's made up of energy and someof it is put together in a mass
and some of it you can't see,like microwaves you can't see,
or radiation waves you can't see, but it's all energy.
Because we are also made up ofenergy, we have the ability to
(23:48):
perceive, to witness, to feelother energy around us.
Naihomy (23:54):
When it's solid energy.
Asha (23:56):
We run into it, you know, and the bottle hits our hand and
we're like, oh, okay, we canfeel that If you've ever been in
a room and someone has walkedin, like your crush right has
walked in, and the energy in theroom changes they say that in
books all the time I felt theenergy in the room change that's
because you were feeling theenergy of that person.
So we actually probablyperceive and feel energy more
(24:18):
than what we actually think thatwe do.
We just have phrases that wedon't really think about what it
is right.
So connecting to our intuitionis turning on that perceiving
switch.
It's allowing us to perceivethe energy around us and so when
something comes into yourenergetic field or when there's
(24:41):
some knowledge that you have,it'll usually drop in.
It doesn't have any emotion.
So and it's like very factual.
It's not like, oh, I should dothis, my intuition told me right
.
It's like very factual.
And you may feel that intuitionfrom clairvoyance, which is
where you see things.
Maybe you'll see an image or,like my mom has scenes play out
(25:04):
in her mind like a movie screen.
It could be clear audience.
While you're where, you'll heara whisper of something, or a
phrase will come to mind or asong will come to mind, could be
clear sentience, which isfeeling.
So when I do readings forpeople, I will feel stuff in my
body and that gives me a message.
Um, there's other like uh,forget the Claire, but for
(25:25):
smelling, if you, you know youtrying to connect with a
grandfather and you smell liketheir cigar or something like
that, or some perfume, and itreminds you of the person.
So these are different waysthat messages can come to us.
And when you start to ask like,oh, I just want to feel a
little bit more, I just want tosee a little bit more, I think
(25:47):
that the universe, the energywill meet you where you are.
But it's not loud.
So what I do on a regular basisis I get up in the mornings and
I have my quiet time.
It's very routine.
I go and make a cup of coffee,I go and sit on my little couch
and try and soak up some sunfrom the windows.
I have my little writing padand sometimes I light a candle
(26:08):
and for at least 12 minutes I'mjust going to sit there and
sometimes, like lately, I'vejust been writing.
Sometimes I will sit therequietly, sometimes I will pray
and ask for things, but it'screating that space to even
allow it to turn back on.
And I needed help to do itbecause I didn't know what to do
and I would say like, oh, mybody's just so turned on, I
(26:32):
can't feel anything in my body,asha, don't you feel something?
Like well, there's something inmy stomach, but I just ate, and
they're like, asha, that's youritch, what does it mean?
Like no, that's the brownie.
You know, and I didn't know, Ididn't recognize that that was
actually a feeling that I wasgetting, and so sometimes you do
need some help and some supportto learn how to interpret what
(26:55):
it is that you're seeing.
But it is or feeling orperceiving.
But it is a practice that ifit's not turned on, that you
have to intentionally createsome space to turn on.
Naihomy (27:06):
The more you practice, the more quickly it will come
yeah, I totally agree because inreconnecting I haven't been
able to do it on my own.
I go to an in-person wellnessstudio in my community where
they've, like my healer hashelped me with that and I love
that it's in person because ofthe energy aspect of it right,
(27:29):
and it has been very confusingto me to know what it is and to
know which voice is talking?
And that's the same thing myhealer has told me.
It's very direct.
It's not emotional.
When it starts to get emotional,is your ego, things like that
um and I just want to give tothe people who don't have time
(27:50):
in the morning because I don'tother spaces where you can
listen.
Um, I love that morning time sowhenever I get to take
advantage of that, I do.
But you know, mom life takingkids to school.
I don't want to wake up ati'm'm not a 5 am or 8 am, so I'm
like, no, it's going to have tohappen sometime else, but like
(28:13):
in the shower right.
It's time and I'm very like,connected to water.
So sometimes I'll hear thingsin the shower or I'll connect in
the shower and it's not evenintentional, it's just a quiet
space, the sound of the water,all of that.
Washing dishes is another one,if I'm just zoned out or
listening to music again thatwater, the flow.
(28:36):
It's an activity, but it's kindof monotonous.
You're just washing dishes youdon't need your brain like that
anymore.
I say anymore because when youfirst start washing dishes, you
know you have to pay attention.
You're thinking about it, yeah,or you can go on walks, things
like that so you can incorporateit in your day.
It doesn't have to be a timewhere you sit and you're
(28:57):
intentional, although thosetimes are great and I love to
take advantage of that.
But you could also takeadvantage of other times in
throughout your day, like maybeyou drive with no music on um
and you create that quietnessfor you.
Asha (29:10):
So yeah, even at the gym too.
I mean, sometimes, if you'rerunning or something or you're
just kind of doing somethingwhere your mind can wander,
oftentimes that can be a time toconnect, um.
And yeah, don't feel like youhave to do like a 30 minute
meditation in silence, you knowjust even sometimes I'll just
pause and like put my hand on myheart and go, okay, what do I
(29:31):
need to know?
And sometimes something willdrop in and it's just a, it's
just a moment and it's like theintentionality of it, the
intention and the intention andthe attention.
Naihomy (29:42):
Yeah, I love that.
Okay, so something that youtold me like right before we
started recording, and I totallyagree with this.
You're like oh, I want to talkabout how food interferes with
your mental clarity, because ourbody is super connected.
So sometimes if you aresuffering from a lot of
(30:03):
digestive distress, if yourhormones are just all over the
place, not the ones that youdon't have control over let's
say, estrogen, progesterone,testosterone, things like that,
your sex hormones they kind ofdo their own thing, but
something like insulin andcortisol we have a little bit
more agency over how they'reresponding in our bodies.
(30:24):
So, from your experience, canyou share with us how the
interconnectedness of, likephysical wellness and how you
are eating in your body can havea direct impact on your mental
clarity and, like, trying tolisten to your intuition?
Asha (30:40):
Yeah, absolutely the first thing is when you feel good,
you feel good.
And so if, if you are and I'mnot trying to get on anybody
about oh, you need to eat this,you need to eat that.
But if you're, my friend toldme I've been telling her for
years I'm like you were lactoseintolerant.
She's like, no, I'm not, I justget a little gas but I eat ice
cream.
Right, then she's been eatinglactose-free ice cream.
(31:01):
And then she said the other daythat she just bought some
regular ice cream and she waslike projectile vomiting and had
diarrhea.
I'm like I told you your asswas lactose intolerant, right,
and like.
That's an extreme example oflike if you're putting something
in your body.
She could not think when thatwas happening.
(31:21):
Right, she could not be focusedon anything other than how bad
she felt.
And then it took her, itinterrupted her sleep and then
she had to try to recover thenext day and then she was afraid
to eat and it just took heraway from being able to do the
thing that she wanted to do.
And again, maybe an extremeexample, but maybe you eat
something and your stomach'scrampy and then you spend an
(31:42):
hour or two hours thinking abouthow your stomach is crampy.
Also, energy it's about theflow of energy, and if your body
is using so much more energy totry to process something that
doesn't align with it, then youhave less energy for everything
else.
So, with the teacher that I'mworking with to learn how to
(32:04):
teach other people how toconnect to their intuition, we
do all kinds of movements andexercises that are not like gym
type exercises but stretching toopen up the meridians which
correspond with organs in thebody.
And so, from the spiritualperspective or energetic
perspective in Chinese medicineand in Asian philosophy, you
(32:25):
know energy can get stuck in thebody, and so food can also help
energy stay trapped in the body, and other activities like even
just like, lifting weights andthen not stretching or, you know
, doing something that justmakes you not feel good,
oftentimes with an energeticblock in the body.
Naihomy (32:47):
Yeah, the body shifts resources.
It doesn't have unlimitedresources and it can't take care
of multiple things at once.
It just has its core of like Ineed to keep this person alive,
like that's.
That's all your body wants isto keep you alive, as its only
responsibility.
And when we are always stuck indigestion, our blood flow is
(33:13):
always stuck in your digestivesystem.
It cannot flow to other areasin your body, to your brain or
to your like.
It just is processing digestion.
So your body will transfer theflow of your um, your blood flow
, to the areas that are most inneed at that time.
(33:33):
So this is why the eating is soimportant what kinds of foods
you're eating, how do you feelwhen you're eating them.
And sometimes we don't evenrealize, like your friend, that
a food we're just so used tofeeling sick that we don't even
realize, like your friend, thata food we're just so used to
feeling sick that we don't know,where it is to feel well, and
then we categorize that asnormal instead of like optimal.
(33:54):
Just because it's common, it'snot normal.
So a lot of people are justcommonly feeling sick in their
body and they don't know thedifference.
So is this whole healingprocess and they don't know the
difference?
So it's this whole healingprocess, and something that just
came to mind in thisconversation is just tapping
into like religious, uh, I guesslike rituals first for some
(34:18):
people, for example, we're stillin what's called Ramadan, right
, and they fast?
Why?
Because it's supposed to giveyou a little bit more mental
clarity.
There is no food happeningusually for Lent.
Some people fast or things likethat, like usually that like
usually religions, have somesort of fasting incorporated at
(34:40):
some season, um, and it doesn'tmean like you need to do
intermittent fasting orsomething like that, but there's
ways to create clarity by thetypes of food you're eating,
when you're eating it, howyou're giving your body a break
and it's this whole connectionbetween how do you feel what
(35:00):
you're eating it, how you'regiving your body a break, and
it's this whole connectionbetween how do you feel what
you're eating and what is itallowing you or not allowing you
to do.
Asha (35:07):
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, it's so true, and it'svery Western to separate mind,
body, soul, spirit, right.
But in Eastern philosophy, andalso a a lot of like traditional
indigenous and Africanreligions, it's not.
The person is not necessarilyseparate from the body.
So you feeding your body isalso nourishing your soul in a
(35:31):
sense, right.
It's not that you could, youknow, go ham over here and
deplete your body physically andthen still expect your brain to
function.
You know, we talk about whatfoods to eat for mental clarity
so you can focus.
It's the same kind of thing.
When I do intuitive readingsfor people, I don't drink the
night before, I certainly don'tdrink the day, because I want to
(35:53):
be sure that I am clearlyreceiving the messages and I
want the messages to comethrough clearly.
So when we start to remove thosethings that are noise for lack
of a better word then ourperception and reception gets
clearer.
Naihomy (36:07):
Yeah, that's so interesting that you mentioned
that, because I went to anin-person spiritual workshop and
part of the instructions werelike no-transcript really,
(36:46):
especially if you don't knowwhere to start, it's really
helpful to get a coach.
Asha (36:51):
And even when you do know where to start, it is really
helpful to have a coach just foraccountability and to complain
when the cravings are startingto leave your body and you just
want that piece of chocolate butyou're trying to cut the
addiction to sugar or whateverit is.
But it's looking at yourselfholistically and then starting
(37:11):
to make small changes that aresustainable.
So if you don't walk now, don'tsign up for a marathon to run,
unless it's like a year out andyou really are committed and
have a plan in place to be ableto complete that marathon or
that half marathon.
But do something that issustainable.
So maybe you can walk for fiveminutes after work just around
(37:34):
the building.
Maybe you can take the dog andyour kids out and, you know,
play with them at the park,because now it's starting to get
warmer and that's somethingthat they want to do.
They're going to hold youaccountable and so it's smaller
pieces like that.
Start with five minutes ofjournaling and instead of
thinking I have to do an hourand a half of meditation, join a
(37:56):
group, go in person.
Sometimes it's it's easier tohold ourselves accountable when
we're meeting people in person.
Um, I facilitate breath work.
It is so hard for me to turn ona breath work track to do my
own breath work that's alreadyrecorded I have to sign up for a
time.
Sometimes I have to pay to holdmyself accountable, and I used
(38:17):
to beat myself up over that.
I'm like you know what?
That's just what I need.
I just need that accountability, and so I'm going to make sure
that I have I don't want to sayguard rails, but kind of guard
rails in place, the support inplace to help me get to where I
want to go.
But start small, make itdigestible, make it doable, make
it fun, do it with a friend.
Naihomy (38:39):
Absolutely.
I know you mentioned breathwork.
I had another question, but Iforgot what it was, that it was
tied to this.
But then I was like, oh, I wantto ask her about breathwork,
because that is veryinterconnected to ourselves too
and it can be a very useful tool.
Now there's two parts.
Right, like I love breath work,and then there are other times
(39:02):
where I feel like I just have tomove my body and I thought that
I would like breath work wasthe only thing.
And that's like to help us.
Come actually, you us like whyis breath work important?
Um, why do we need it?
And when should we do breathwork versus maybe moving, moving
(39:27):
around?
Asha (39:28):
Yeah, that was a really good question.
So breath work and the way thatI'm speaking of it is a little
different than just breathingexercises.
There can be breathingexercises to calm, uh, breathing
exercises to help you focus.
That's kind of one set.
They're shorter in duration.
The breath work that I'mtalking about is usually about
90 minutes and it sort of takesyou on a journey and it's
(39:50):
amazing.
It's incredible Because whathappens when you breathe?
You're breathing in and outthrough your mouth, so you're
changing the carbon dioxidelevels in your body, which
allows you to have that feelingsometimes of like floating or
like you are going someplacedifferent.
But the beauty of it is likeunlike if someone were to take
(40:12):
ayahuasca or do mushrooms orpsilocybin, I should call it as
soon as you go back to breathingnormally, then your body, you
come back into your body andyou're just playing around with
the CO2, with the carbon dioxide.
So it's a natural thing thatyou can do for yourself.
But what happens is you startto go to that meditative state,
even though you're still veryconscious, and in that
(40:35):
meditative state yoursubconscious mind can begin to
work and you're able to perceivemore.
So sometimes people will have awhole conversation with their
ancestors, with their guides,they'll solve a problem.
If that was their intention,they'll, you know, dream up of a
new book idea.
It really depends on what yourintention is when you begin and
what your focus is.
I lead breathwork.
(40:56):
Where I, it's always a guidedbreathwork situation, and so
maybe I'm doing breathwork forancestral connection, or I'm
doing breathwork to connect tojoy and I will talk people
through the process and there'sa climax of the music.
It's kind of slow and then youbreathe a little bit more
intensely and there's a climaxat the peak where there's
usually a release of maybe someemotions or movement.
(41:18):
And then we come back down andpeople feel, no matter what
happens.
They always feel more relaxed,they feel more grounded in their
bodies, they feel like it wasexactly what they needed at the
right time, and everybody has aslightly different experience.
In my breath work, I tellpeople if you need to move, move
.
You know, in some situationspeople will get up and they'll
(41:38):
like shake energy off.
Sometimes I get restless and Ijust want to move.
It's all about moving energy aswell, so it's okay.
You don't have to be perfectlystill, not like we think of when
we think of meditation and howdo you know what you need?
I think it's a combination.
Sometimes you know walking canbe meditative and I just need to
(42:01):
move the energy through my body.
But it also comes down to areyou listening, are you in touch
with your body and are youlistening to what it's telling
you?
Because your body will tell you.
You'll know whether you need tolay down and do a breathwork
session and be calm or if youneed to go flip a tire because
you've got some like energy thatyou need to get out, and none
(42:24):
of it's wrong, it's all you know.
It all goes together to help usbe healthy, whole, happy people
.
Naihomy (42:31):
Yeah, you mentioned something very interesting that
I think it's important,especially in this worldly
climates that we're in right now, and you said that you do
breath work to connect to joy,and I feel like that's something
that a lot of people arelooking for and don't know
(42:52):
exactly how to find it, or theythink it only happens when they
I mean like probably me onlyhappened when I went on vacation
and I was at the party Right.
What do you mean by that?
Like you're connecting to joy,and how could people do that for
themselves?
Asha (43:11):
Yeah, so when did this happen for me?
I don't remember when theturning point was.
Probably in the last six orseven months or so, certainly
since I've been here in Portugaland I was just thinking about
ancestral connection, and it'sit's often so heavy, like going
to Ghana is heavy.
There are beautiful moments butyou know, people go because
they want to understand theslave trade from that side,
(43:33):
right, and we always talk abouthealing ancestral patterns and
it's this like heaviness, thiswork that we have to do.
Naihomy (43:43):
Like you know what?
Asha (43:44):
I know that my ancestors had to have experienced some joy
.
Naihomy (43:48):
Like it wasn't all suffering.
Asha (43:49):
Right, it couldn't have been all suffering.
But modern day, that's what weconnect to and we have built our
cultures, our communities havereally bought into the struggle
and the sacrifice narrative, andit doesn't mean that it didn't
happen.
But we have really been taught,and probably colonized, to
believe that we don't deservecertain things that are part of
(44:13):
our range of emotion to be ableto access.
We think we have to earn joy,we think we have to earn rest,
we think we have to earnhappiness.
Or if we are joyful, if we areresting, if we are happy, then
we've somehow betrayed thesacrifices that our parents and
grandparents and that ourlineage has made for us.
(44:33):
But it goes back to again whatis that freedom?
And it had to have come to mewhen I was intentionally
connecting to the ancestors, oror just like really thinking
about this, like joy is theultimate, like I'm here f you
and there's nothing you can doabout it.
Right, like let me, you cannottake my joy away.
(44:54):
But we have allowed so manythings to take our attention and
to take that happiness insideof us that I want us to be able
to tap into our ancestralconnection to find more joy
because and what has happenedtoo is I have understood who I
am through a different lens fromconnecting with my ancestors,
(45:17):
because, again here in thisworld, my grandfather worked
with Martin Luther King andMedgar Evers and they were
always afraid that they weregonna get a set.
Like my grandfather saw MedgarEvers' killer, the man came into
the office in JacksonMississippi a day before he shot
(45:38):
and killed Medgar Evers.
Like my grandfather was in thatmix right as a kid.
My mom said they were alwaysafraid that there was going to
be a cross burned on their lawnbecause they were active in the
civil rights movement.
My mom, when she was at theUniversity of Mississippi, had
to be escorted off campus by thepolice a number of times
because these white folks didnot want her here.
They wanted her dead right.
(45:59):
And so when you are growing upwith that, it is hard, can be
hard to be joyful because youdon't get out of survival mode,
or it may be difficult to getout of survival mode.
And so I, you know we'rethinking I'm going to honor my
ancestors, I'm going to go intocourt, I'm going to honor my
ancestors, I'm going to get thebiggest house on the block, I'm
going to honor my ancestors andblah, blah, blah, blah.
(46:20):
But when I connect with them Irealized that this modern day
dream is the modern day dream,but that ancient dream again is
for that freedom.
That ancient dream again is forthat joy.
And so the best way that I canhonor my ancestors is not by
staying tethered to the struggle, but is really being a joyful,
(46:41):
happy, sovereign human being.
Like let me go do the damn thingand let me be expressed in
whatever way that I want.
Like that's what they want forus.
They don't really want us tokeep slaving away at a job that
we hate in the name of sacrificeand duty.
I just I'm not buying into that.
(47:02):
Like that's a dream that wasplanted in us, but like that's
not it.
But I was only able to see fromthat like sort of higher
perspective, that olderperspective.
When I started to connect formyself to my ancestors, she
dropped more pins, y'all anothermic drop moment.
Naihomy (47:24):
I'm like I got chills while you were talking.
I had to pitch it Dang.
I think every single one of usneeded to hear that and that is
exactly why I wanted you on here, because I know we spoke about
a lot of things.
But I feel like in my community, when I'm coaching on food and
(47:47):
wellness and all that, this iswhat I want to convey to them as
well.
And you said it so beautifullyand it just went so deep of
being well is resisting, and itjust went so deep of being well
is resisting.
Taking care of yourself ishonoring is not being selfish or
(48:08):
needing too much Like.
This whole mental clarityaspect is essential because
we're so numbed out by stressand the hamster wheel and just
giving up our power and autonomyand desires out to everybody
else and not fulfilling our owndreams.
How much better of communitiesand families and all that would
(48:30):
we have if we had joy, if wefelt that freedom and this.
This week I spoke to a clientand she was telling me about a
video that she was watchingabout a woman ice skating and
she goes.
It made me cry because shelooks so free, imagine.
And she's like I should sign upfor ice skating classes.
(48:53):
I say you don't need iceskating classes.
That's not what it is.
Asha (48:56):
That's not what I mean you can, if you want to, but that's
not where you're going to.
Naihomy (48:59):
Not one, I mean it's not on your list.
You want to, you can if youwant to, but that's not where
you're gonna find the feeling offreedom right, right it's all
of this work.
That, oh, that was so good.
Asha, if you could tellyourself one thing back when you
were struggling in your mindand you were questioning all
(49:19):
your life decisions, what wouldyou tell yourself?
What did you need to hear tomake the process a little
smoother?
Asha (49:29):
You know, I I don't know exactly what that would be that
would that's a really goodquestion.
But I think somewhere inside ofme I just knew it had to get
better.
I knew that there was somethingworth working for, even when
things didn't go right.
And you know, when I wasdisappointed here and
disappointed that you'vewitnessed some of the
disappointment.
When I think about maybe Ishould just quit, maybe I should
(49:51):
just give up and do somethingdifferent, there was a part of
me that knew that there issomething more and I just have
to get there.
And maybe this is the I don'twant to say the cost, because I
don't think you have to tradethat for like joy and things
like that but I do think it's ajourney and it's a process.
(50:12):
And as much as I hated hearinglike, oh, it's about the journey
, not the destination because Ifor damn sure wanted the
destination it really it likehow can you be in the moment on
your journey?
How can you make every periodthat you were in count?
We spend so much time lookingforward to the future, but the
(50:33):
power that we have is in the now.
So, even when you're up at 3ambecause your kids are crying and
you're pregnant and you knowyour husband is just an idiot
and pissed you off today, likehow can you be intentional in
that moment and make sure thatyou are consciously making a
decision?
And that's where I think thatlife passes most of us by,
(50:55):
because we're not, we're justgoing through the motions and
we're not actually aware.
Being intentional about yourfood means that you have to be
aware.
You choose to be intentional,deciding to go work out means
you have to be intentional.
Deciding that you're going toconnect to your ancestors means
that you have made a decisionand you're taking some of your
(51:16):
power back.
So I don't know if I answeredthe question at all, but, like
keep going.
And I also wrote on my wall, Ithink in high school.
It said be willing to work likeno one else will, so you can
live like no one else can.
And I'd always stuck to thatand at first I used to think
that it meant hard work and youknow doing all the things that I
(51:39):
could.
But now I've taken hard workout of my vocabulary.
It's about smart work and youknow cause there's.
There's effort that's required,right, but it's about looking
at what is the effort that I'mwilling to put in, where and how
to get to the thing that I want.
And if I do this now, if Ifocus on being physically
(51:59):
healthy now, I'm going to beable to live like no one else
can, because I've put in thefuel to get the result that I
want.
If I focus on doing my work andlearning how to mind my
thoughts and learning how toheal, then I won't be carrying
those patterns into the futurewith me.
(52:21):
So it's not that it's not thatthe stuff ever completely
disappears, but it's like whatare you willing to invest in
yourself now so that you canlive a life that you want in
this moment?
but, also in the future.
Naihomy (52:34):
Yeah, it definitely feels lighter when you.
It feels extremely heavy at thebeginning, but it does start to
feel lighter.
So definitely, asha.
Thank you so much for coming.
This has been like soempowering and enlightening, and
I hope that whoever islistening just really feel seen
(52:56):
and just encouraged to have timeto think to, to be open to that
, to have the courage to takesome action.
And if you really want to andyou're too scared and you want
support, asha, how can yousupport them?
Tell us about your podcast yourofferings, everything you got.
Asha (53:16):
Yes, yes, yes, okay.
So I have a podcast that Ipublish infrequently now, called
Because I've Healed, and thatyou can find on Spotify or Apple
or on YouTube.
You can also connect with me onInstagram at Asha Wilkerson ESQ
, and, if you ever find yourselfin Lisbon, this is one of those
things that's happening becauseof intuition.
(53:38):
I'm actually opening up ahealing space in Lisbon that
will be focused on creating safeand healthy spaces for black
and brown folks, so I would lovefor you to come and visit me in
Lisbon, but go to my.
Instagram page and you will seethe information for that there.
Naihomy (53:55):
Awesome.
Are you doing?
Are you doing your groupcoaching?
Asha (53:58):
I am.
You're right, I forgot allabout that, so.
Naihomy (54:00):
I have coming up.
I remember, thank you.
Asha (54:03):
Thank you.
The enrollment period is fromApril 17th to April 30th and
it's a group program calledGuided, which will help you
connect to your intuition and toyour ancestors.
So it's a combination ofteachings that I'm going to
break it down for you and makeit plain and simple so you can
logically understand what you'redoing.
(54:24):
And then practice sessions andwe meet three times a month and
you have a week off and that'llbe for 12 weeks and before that
actually I have a webinar, aworkshop, called Meet your
Ancestral Guides.
So if you're curious, you cancome and join me for that and
that'll be a little taste ofwhat we'll do in the program.
You'll get to meet your guides.
(54:44):
We'll create a connectionritual for you so you can take
it with you and then, if youcome, you also get a discount on
the group program.
So that is April 17th, but youcan go to my website,
ashawilkersoncom, slash registerand you will see it there.
Naihomy (54:59):
I'm going to that Yay, if I can't, I'm like I, I want
more practice.
I'm just curious and all thisstuff I thought wasn't for me or
I couldn't do it, but it's justthe work that you said putting
it in being patient and takeyour time, so go connect with
(55:22):
Asha.
All of this information isgoing to be on the show notes,
so it's nice and easy for you togo click on it and connect with
her, and thank you so muchagain for joining me today.
Asha (55:33):
That was so good, thank you.
Naihomy (55:35):
I loved it.
Bye, everybody, see y'all nextweek.
Hello friends, welcome back to Wealthy Generation
Podcast.
Today I have the dear, dear,dear Asha Wilkerson here.
We met through a coachingprogram and then she coached me
and she actually helped methrough a very intense period of
my life where I was just inshambles and she really helped
(00:27):
me get to the other side withthat and calm down and process
my thoughts and all that.
So just to show that we allneed support in certain areas
and we have this beautifulcommunity of really talented
people, beautiful community ofreally talented people.
(00:47):
Asha is on here to talk with us.
All things intuitive, allthings breaking free and really
showing up for who you are.
And I am really excited for herto share her story because
every time I hear it, I was, I'malways like dang, I admire you
so much Like you did what, likeyou moved on to what.
So I'm going to let her tellyou Welcome, asha, to the
(01:11):
podcast.
Thank you.
Asha (01:13):
I'm excited to be here.
Naihomy (01:15):
I'm excited to have you , so please share with us who
you are, what you do and alittle bit about your story.
Asha (01:22):
Oh my goodness, this question always throws me for a
loop Like what do I say?
Naihomy (01:28):
And who do I say it to and all that stuff, but uh, I
want you to say it to oh, I'llhelp you with that, because I
wish I was listening to this wayway, way many years ago.
I want you to say it to thatwoman who is checking off all
boxes, that society has told herthat she needs to check off and
(01:49):
then she feels superunfulfilled and scared to follow
her true passion.
Asha (01:55):
Is that how it goes?
Yes, it is, and that's also theyounger version of myself right
To that person.
The reason why you feelunfulfilled still after doing
all the things is because you'reliving for everybody else and
not for you.
And when we come fromcommunities of color, from
immigrant families, from firstgen and so many different senses
(02:17):
of the word, we're not reallygiven a chance to ask what we
want, and so we do all thethings that we're supposed to.
To ask what we want, and so wedo all the things that we're
supposed to.
And then sometimes for some ofus along the way, we realize
that the stuff that we'resupposed to do just doesn't
light us up, and so that's whereI found myself.
I went to law school, notbecause anybody told me to, but
what parents are going to say,no, don't go to law school.
(02:38):
My mom was also the first Blackwoman to integrate the
University of Mississippi in theUnited States, and so I came
from a line of civil rightsleaders and barrier breakers,
and the expectation was I wasgoing to continue that legacy,
and it was probably moreunspoken pressure than explicit
pressure.
(02:58):
There was just an expectationof I was going to achieve, I was
going to get good grades, I wasgoing to make the family proud,
even though good grades I wasgoing to make the family proud,
even though they didn't say youhave to make the family proud.
But it would show up incomments of criticizing
so-and-so right, criticizingsomeone else.
You kind of take that in andinternalize it.
And I went to law school, workedfor a law firm, then started my
(03:21):
own practice, got burned out onthat and then started teaching
full-time at a community collegeand that was my dream job at
the time because I love teaching.
And then after seven and a halfyears of doing that, through
the pandemic also, it justwasn't aligned and it took me a
long time to admit that I didn'twant to do it anymore because
(03:42):
it was the dream job for me atone point and I had tenure,
which means that I couldn't befired.
My mom was a principal andworked for the same school
district for 40 years.
So she was like, yeah, you madeit and I'm like I made it and I
don't want it.
And so it took a lot for me togive myself the permission to
pivot and to do somethingdifferent.
Naihomy (04:10):
Yeah, what was that different stuff that you did?
Are you still a?
Asha (04:12):
lawyer now.
Are you still teaching now?
Yeah, technically I'm still alawyer, still an attorney, so
still licensed.
I have it on the back burnerjust in case I ever want to go
back.
And actually it's funny becauseI went inactive on my license
last year and then someone askedme to do a presentation.
I was like, ok, let me activateit, so I'm in compliance.
And then I deactivated it againor went inactive this year and
now my best friend is like, hey,I need some help with some work
(04:34):
.
She's like make sure you goactive, ok.
And I'm like, oh man, do Ireally want to do that?
So I still have a license, Istill hold a license.
Do that?
So I still have a license, Istill hold a license.
But recently I have moved toPortugal and I have been
focusing almost 100%, probably85%, on doing healing work,
helping women connect to theirintuition and ancestors,
(04:56):
ancestral connection, and I loveit.
And that started with my ownjourney in the pandemic.
Actually, way before that, mymom was really intuitive and I
remember being a kid and goingto these psychic fairs in
Portland Oregon and I rememberhave this vivid memory of having
my aura photo taken and theaura photos when they take a
picture and there's thedifferent lights around you and
they like the energy.
(05:18):
The light of the energy meanssomething and I remember being
like five and be like, oh,that's so cool.
So I always knew that my momwas intuitive and clairvoyant.
She would see things and justkind of know things.
But she never developed that inme, she never asked me about it
, so I didn't know how toconnect and I never thought that
I was and I would haveastrology readings.
They're like it's in your chart, you're intuitive.
(05:39):
I'm like I don't know whatyou're talking about, I don't
know how to connect and whoyou're talking to, but it's
there, I guess.
So during the pandemic wefinally I finally had enough
time.
I wasn't on the road all thetime and I could take some
classes to start to develop myintuition.
The more I learned about theenergy and about the spiritual
world, the more I learned.
It also complemented thescientific world and I was like,
(06:05):
oh, we've been taught our wholelives that this stuff, that
this witchy woo-woo stuff, isbad and we're going to hell and
it's of the devil and it's notreally.
It's actually like part of thenature and circuitry of our
bodies and so I have reallyloved being able to reconnect
with that and I really lovehelping women of color reconnect
with that, because it is a formof decolonization.
We were told by Christianity,told by white people, that all
(06:27):
of our black and brown practiceswere bad.
They weren't.
They were of earth, they wereof ourselves, they were
connected to the elements.
We got told that they were badso they could give us white
Jesus to follow and rules fromthe church.
Sorry if I'm offending anybody.
Not sorry, not sorry and rulesfrom the church.
Sorry if I'm offending anybody.
Naihomy (06:47):
Sorry, not sorry.
Go ahead, girl, Right, right,sorry, not sorry.
I'm screaming into the mic.
I am so sorry for your ears,but I'm excited Go ahead.
Asha (06:57):
Asha, quite, all right.
So it's really a practice ofcoming home to yourself, coming
home to the things that arefamiliar to your body, and you
may not recognize it right away,but the more time you give it,
your body will remember, becauseit is a part of you, it's a
part of what you've inheritedfrom your ancestors, it's a part
of like being a human beingthat we can connect to energy
(07:20):
that is beyond us.
So, in a big nutshell, toenergy that is beyond us.
Naihomy (07:26):
So, in a big nutshell, I want to drop something.
Asha (07:35):
What an intro.
I'm dropping pens over here.
Thanks for the setup.
You gave me that softballquestion.
Naihomy (07:38):
I was like okay, I got something to say, now Let me run
with it.
Look, I know this is whateverybody's thinking and I and I
know some of your story.
But I know people are like Ashawhat did your mother say about
quitting your job and moving anddoing all this?
I think that we worry a lotabout what people are going to
(08:00):
say, quote unquote wasting timeand money on this career, on
this path, and just kind ofthrowing it all away to follow
what happened.
What did your mom say?
How did you process it yourselfinternally to have the courage
(08:21):
to follow what you actuallywanted for yourself?
Asha (08:28):
have the courage to follow what you actually wanted for
yourself.
Naihomy (08:32):
Yeah, my mom when she doesn't agree with something,
but is trying not to tell you.
Asha (08:34):
She'll just go, she won't say anything.
I'm like mom, I'm thinkingabout doing this.
Naihomy (08:36):
She's like I'm like okay, something because she's
obviously saying something,right?
Asha (08:43):
So there was a lot of mm's in the beginning and my mom you
know my mom grew up.
She said she didn't realizethat they were a poor family
when she grew up because theywere so rich in love and they
had everything that they needed,but they didn't have a lot of
money.
So when she tells her storygrowing up, she says she knew
(09:03):
she couldn't go back home to herparents.
But what I know is that if sheever needed to go back home,
they would open the doors tobring her in, even though she
felt like they couldn'tfinancially support her Right.
So she has built her life andmade decisions with the idea
that she could never go backhome, which is what a lot of us
(09:24):
do.
So she decided to forego thepath of intuition and spiritual
connections so that she couldfocus on using her intellectual
mind and keeping her job foralmost 40 years in the same
school district.
So her vision of safety for me,like most parents, for any
child, is to get that job, getreally good at it, work at it
(09:44):
for 30 years even though that'slike impossible nowadays People
are no loyalty from theemployers or the employees and
put money away for retirement,buy a house and at the end
you're going to have it to livein.
That's the dream of the babyboomers.
And so when I deviated fromthat path like I still don't
think, she can actuallyreconcile in her mind that me
(10:05):
going to school has put me in somuch debt that I'm educated
like educated poor, right,because there's so much debt,
even though school debt has adifferent weight, of course,
than like credit card debt orsomething like that.
But I think, like in her mind,because that was the dream go to
college, get the job, work.
(10:30):
She doesn't understand thattimes are different.
Intellectually she can get it,but it doesn't make sense to her
, you know.
And so when I first startedtalking about maybe I would do
something different, it was like, well, how are you going to
live?
How are you going to survive?
What are you going to do?
Where are you going to live?
I'm also an only child too.
So there's a part of thefinancial security and safety
that she was worried about.
(10:51):
And then there's the part ofwhere are you going?
My only child, and she's notmarried, she's on the West Coast
, and so I ended up movingfurther and further away.
But I will say that the moreconfident I got in my decision,
the more.
She backed off and she would.
She never told me don't do it.
She never.
She just said you know, shejust asked some questions.
(11:14):
She never told me.
No, she was supportive in theway that she was able.
But the last time that I wenthome, just a couple months ago,
I was full of joy, I was justradiating joy.
I look younger, my skin isclearer, I'm just happy, just so
happy and fulfilled.
And she looked at me and waslike you made the right choice.
(11:35):
So sometimes the people most ofthe time the people around us
want what they think is best forus and that's their vision for
what's best for us.
But we may know that theirvision is not in alignment, and
so we have to develop theconfidence and the support to do
what we need to do.
Naihomy (11:54):
Yeah, wow, that's so good and you are looking good
girl.
Asha (11:59):
You really are Thank you.
Naihomy (12:02):
Now you had a hunch and you knew that you wanted
something different.
How about those people whodon't even give themselves the
opportunity to figure out whatthey want for themselves,
because they all they have seenis what their parents wanted for
them checking off those boxes,showing up how their parents
(12:27):
want them to show up, or itcould be society, it doesn't
have to be parents but theyhaven't even given themselves
and I feel like I fall into thiscategory to where you don't
even give yourself theopportunity to figure out if you
actually want somethingdifferent and you don't even
realize how unhappy you might beor how unfulfilled you might be
(12:50):
.
And the thought of evenexploring that, not even making
any changes, just exploring whoyou actually are and what you
might want, is kind ofterrifying.
Right, how would somebody juststart that process?
Or start like peelingthemselves off from everything
(13:12):
that you just mentioned, likesociety, what parents might want
for you, that safety that youcreated for yourself?
Then you were like, oh, I'mjust going to have to figure out
another way.
Asha (13:23):
Yeah, it's hard to start asking the questions because if
the answer means that a changeneeds to happen, then that means
a change needs to happen.
And so oftentimes we get onthis path and it's like man,
it's going to make me dosomething different.
And so we don't ask because wedon't want to know, because we
don't actually want to dosomething different.
But if we are curious the thing, my recommendation is to spend
(13:47):
five minutes, maybe in themornings or some quiet time, and
just ask if I could do anything.
What would I do If I didn'thave any rules?
What would I do If I didn'thave to worry about money?
What would I do?
How would I show up?
Where would I be?
How would I be?
And it's not going to come toyou in the first journaling
session, or you maybe you don'thave to write, you can just
(14:08):
think about it.
But if you start to askyourself that question over and
over and over again, withcuriosity not with judgment, not
with saying this is never goingto happen or I have to make x
amount of money, but just withcuriosity your brain will start
to open up to the possibilitiesof oh, I would love to travel
the world and teach?
Oh, I would love to.
(14:28):
You know, run a fitness company?
I would love to, whatever it isfor you.
But you have to give yourself,your brain, the permission to
even ask the question and you'llbe surprised.
It was hard for me to do thatwhen I was teaching until a
friend of mine said well, whydon't you just quit?
I said what Quitting had neveroccurred to me.
Yeah, I don't think my mom, myuncle, my auntie, I don't think
(14:53):
they had ever just quit,especially not with something
else lined up.
And so, my friend, thatquestion opened up the door for
me and I could go.
What if I did quit the samething?
What if I could do somethingdifferent?
What would I do?
Naihomy (15:06):
And just be curious, yeah, so if you figured it out
and we're going to get intointuition and food and all that
in a little bit too but ifyou're, you figure that out, you
thought about it and you'refigured out one next action step
(15:28):
to take, and then people startsaying stuff, your parents start
saying things.
You're crazy.
How are you going to do that?
You're going to leave all thisbehind.
That's stupid.
That's reckless.
How do you keep going?
How do you trust yourself to belike, okay, there may be trying
(15:51):
to protect me, maybe they'reprojecting, um, maybe it's a
different mentality, like youmentioned, boomers versus us,
different resources.
How do you just trust yourselfto move forward, even if you're
feeling guilty, even if you'refeeling afraid or I don't know.
(16:12):
I don't know how I was feeling.
Actually, by the time I starteddoing this, I was like fuck
everybody, right, fucking shitExactly.
Asha (16:24):
That's a possibility too.
Naihomy (16:25):
Yes, but what about if you're not there and you're like
, oh my god, I?
Don't know this feels so unsafe.
How would somebody handle that?
Asha (16:34):
yeah, well, there's nothing that says that you have
to make a move right away okay,and you can also do the next
step.
That feels comfortable, or youcan wait until you're a pressure
cooker and it's like fuckeverybody like you feel like I'm
done when I when I'm a pressurecooker yeah, you're right.
When I got to the point I waslike I just can't.
I knew that I couldn't take itanymore because it was either
(16:57):
going to be my mental health orit was going to be me, and not
because the job was bad or wrong.
That's something we lookforward to.
We justify it.
It it's not that bad, it's notthat hard.
They pay me really wellFantastic.
The question is is it inalignment with you?
Does it make you feel good orare you fighting yourself?
And I think anytime we start tojustify we all know that
(17:17):
girlfriend, that justifies theman that's in her life, like
well he's really nice.
You're like girl.
You can think about your joblike that and you're like well
he's really nice.
You're like girl, you can thinkabout your job like that and
you're like well it's reallynice, be like give me bagels
every Thursday, exactly.
Right when we start to justify,that means we're not comfortable
(17:40):
in the decision.
But it's also important to findcommunity.
Find people who have done thething that you're looking to do,
like you're not going to go.
If you're interested inchanging your health, you're not
going to go to the person whohas never changed their health.
If you are looking to moveabroad, you're not going to go
to the person who's never lefttheir city.
(18:01):
If you're looking to dosomething, you're going to get
into community with the peoplewho are going the way that
you're going or who have beenwhere you're trying to go.
So the uncomfortable truth isthat we all outgrow our
communities in different levels,right, yeah, yeah, not everyone
stays in touch with theirelementary school friends or
(18:22):
high school friends or theircollege friends elementary
school friends or high schoolfriends or their college friends
.
Sometimes we outgrow ourparents.
Sometimes we outgrow oursiblings, and it doesn't mean
that anything is wrong or bad.
It just means that we havegrown and it does take some
mental fortitude to stick to adecision when everybody else
around you is telling you hey,you're crazy, blah, blah blah,
but when you know that it'sright for you, you won't even
(18:44):
hear them anymore.
Like my uncle was like you don'tneed to go all the way over
there to Portugal, you need tocome home and take care of your
mom.
I was like what I'm?
Like uh, you know, and Ihaven't lived in the same state
as my mom for like 20 yearssince.
I went to college, right, itjust surprised me so much, not
(19:07):
that he was really telling menot to go, but I was like, okay,
whatever, you didn't go home,take care of your parents.
You're, you're trained rightaway from my mom.
You go check, that's yoursister.
You go check, you know, not tolike lay down my daughterly
duties, but also getting clearon, like what is the role that
you really want to play in yourfamily.
Because that pressure comes up,because we somehow are
(19:30):
conditioned, either socializedor like by actual explicit words
, to feel like we owe ourparents.
We don't actually owe them.
We didn't ask to be here and Iget it because we've seen our
parents sacrifice so much for usto be here.
But I had a moment when I was inGhana, looking out of one of
the slave dungeons and lookingout of the window at the door of
(19:51):
no return, and it occurred tome like all my people have ever
wanted was to be free.
If I can get myself free, maybeI can help others be free and
like free in every sense of theword.
Our parents path to freedom wasvery specific Get a job.
Maybe it means moving to the US, maybe it means being the first
to go to a predominantly whiteinstitution, maybe it means the
(20:15):
first to have a corporate joband to have that financial
security.
But freedom really is being whoyou want to be, where you want
to be it, with whomever you wantto be, where you want to be it,
with whomever you want to be,with Right.
And so now that you have alittle bit more foundation than
your parents and we sendgratitude to them, thank, thank,
thank you you can make anotherchoice that really gets you to
(20:38):
freedom.
And when they see that you feelso good and you're happy and
you're healthy because that'swhat they want you to be happy
and healthy and whole and, youknow, stable Then they'll be
like oh, you were right, youknow they might not see it, but
they'll get on board eventually.
Naihomy (20:53):
Yeah, I've.
I've definitely had thoseexperiences where my mom thought
I was like cuckoo and she'slike what.
I don't think this is a goodidea, I don't know.
And then when everythingsettled, she's like oh, maybe
you were ready, Like I'm soproud of you.
But it does take so muchcourage to just trust yourself
(21:14):
and move forward with that.
And it's really good to justshow them right, Like, yeah,
sometimes when we stay stuck inwhat they think is best for us,
we're so miserable and that justdoesn't help anybody and it
builds a resentment and all that.
Asha (21:30):
So, good.
Naihomy (21:31):
So let's shift into intuition, right?
I've been working a lot.
I think that I'm a veryintuitive person.
I was born like that and I wasreally good at it as a kid, and
then, as I got older, I juststuffed it away because I was
checking boxes and I was justyou know, like you start
(21:54):
checking boxes, you startfulfilling other people's
expectations, your intuitionsounds a little crazy out of the
box, so it just gets scary.
I stuff it back in, right, right, and I feel like that, like my
habit to a lot of people and nowI'm working to reconnect with
it and sometimes what myintuition tells me is scary af
and I'm like what you're like?
(22:15):
No, um, but it has taken workfor me to even realize that
specific voice versus the voiceof maybe my ego or like the
voices that are trying toprotect me.
So how does one start toexplore, find that voice and how
(22:36):
do you know it's your intuitionversus your ego, or like the,
your brain, trying to protectyou from past experiences?
Asha (22:45):
Yeah, it's a really good question.
So typically your intuitionwill speak to you quietly and
it's not emotional.
And also, let me back up,because we have like electric
circuits in our body, like ourheart system is on an electrical
current, and we have othersystems that respond to
(23:06):
electricity and energy, really,right.
So we put food into our body,there's an energetic process
that happens to metabolize thefood and to move the food
through, and so we are a bundleor a like body of electricity,
of current, of energy.
Right, and also remember fromour high school science classes
(23:27):
that, like all matter, thiswater bottle that I have, this,
I don't know the air you breathe.
It's made up of energy and someof it is put together in a mass
and some of it you can't see,like microwaves you can't see,
or radiation waves you can't see, but it's all energy.
Because we are also made up ofenergy, we have the ability to
(23:48):
perceive, to witness, to feelother energy around us.
Naihomy (23:54):
When it's solid energy.
Asha (23:56):
We run into it, you know, and the bottle hits our hand and
we're like, oh, okay, we canfeel that If you've ever been in
a room and someone has walkedin, like your crush right has
walked in, and the energy in theroom changes they say that in
books all the time I felt theenergy in the room change that's
because you were feeling theenergy of that person.
So we actually probablyperceive and feel energy more
(24:18):
than what we actually think thatwe do.
We just have phrases that wedon't really think about what it
is right.
So connecting to our intuitionis turning on that perceiving
switch.
It's allowing us to perceivethe energy around us and so when
something comes into yourenergetic field or when there's
(24:41):
some knowledge that you have,it'll usually drop in.
It doesn't have any emotion.
So and it's like very factual.
It's not like, oh, I should dothis, my intuition told me right
.
It's like very factual.
And you may feel that intuitionfrom clairvoyance, which is
where you see things.
Maybe you'll see an image or,like my mom has scenes play out
(25:04):
in her mind like a movie screen.
It could be clear audience.
While you're where, you'll heara whisper of something, or a
phrase will come to mind or asong will come to mind, could be
clear sentience, which isfeeling.
So when I do readings forpeople, I will feel stuff in my
body and that gives me a message.
Um, there's other like uh,forget the Claire, but for
(25:25):
smelling, if you, you know youtrying to connect with a
grandfather and you smell liketheir cigar or something like
that, or some perfume, and itreminds you of the person.
So these are different waysthat messages can come to us.
And when you start to ask like,oh, I just want to feel a
little bit more, I just want tosee a little bit more, I think
(25:47):
that the universe, the energywill meet you where you are.
But it's not loud.
So what I do on a regular basisis I get up in the mornings and
I have my quiet time.
It's very routine.
I go and make a cup of coffee,I go and sit on my little couch
and try and soak up some sunfrom the windows.
I have my little writing padand sometimes I light a candle
(26:08):
and for at least 12 minutes I'mjust going to sit there and
sometimes, like lately, I'vejust been writing.
Sometimes I will sit therequietly, sometimes I will pray
and ask for things, but it'screating that space to even
allow it to turn back on.
And I needed help to do itbecause I didn't know what to do
and I would say like, oh, mybody's just so turned on, I
(26:32):
can't feel anything in my body,asha, don't you feel something?
Like well, there's something inmy stomach, but I just ate, and
they're like, asha, that's youritch, what does it mean?
Like no, that's the brownie.
You know, and I didn't know, Ididn't recognize that that was
actually a feeling that I wasgetting, and so sometimes you do
need some help and some supportto learn how to interpret what
(26:55):
it is that you're seeing.
But it is or feeling orperceiving.
But it is a practice that ifit's not turned on, that you
have to intentionally createsome space to turn on.
Naihomy (27:06):
The more you practice, the more quickly it will come
yeah, I totally agree because inreconnecting I haven't been
able to do it on my own.
I go to an in-person wellnessstudio in my community where
they've, like my healer hashelped me with that and I love
that it's in person because ofthe energy aspect of it right,
(27:29):
and it has been very confusingto me to know what it is and to
know which voice is talking?
And that's the same thing myhealer has told me.
It's very direct.
It's not emotional.
When it starts to get emotional,is your ego, things like that
um and I just want to give tothe people who don't have time
(27:50):
in the morning because I don'tother spaces where you can
listen.
Um, I love that morning time sowhenever I get to take
advantage of that, I do.
But you know, mom life takingkids to school.
I don't want to wake up ati'm'm not a 5 am or 8 am, so I'm
like, no, it's going to have tohappen sometime else, but like
(28:13):
in the shower right.
It's time and I'm very like,connected to water.
So sometimes I'll hear thingsin the shower or I'll connect in
the shower and it's not evenintentional, it's just a quiet
space, the sound of the water,all of that.
Washing dishes is another one,if I'm just zoned out or
listening to music again thatwater, the flow.
(28:36):
It's an activity, but it's kindof monotonous.
You're just washing dishes youdon't need your brain like that
anymore.
I say anymore because when youfirst start washing dishes, you
know you have to pay attention.
You're thinking about it, yeah,or you can go on walks, things
like that so you can incorporateit in your day.
It doesn't have to be a timewhere you sit and you're
(28:57):
intentional, although thosetimes are great and I love to
take advantage of that.
But you could also takeadvantage of other times in
throughout your day, like maybeyou drive with no music on um
and you create that quietnessfor you.
Asha (29:10):
So yeah, even at the gym too.
I mean, sometimes, if you'rerunning or something or you're
just kind of doing somethingwhere your mind can wander,
oftentimes that can be a time toconnect, um.
And yeah, don't feel like youhave to do like a 30 minute
meditation in silence, you knowjust even sometimes I'll just
pause and like put my hand on myheart and go, okay, what do I
(29:31):
need to know?
And sometimes something willdrop in and it's just a, it's
just a moment and it's like theintentionality of it, the
intention and the intention andthe attention.
Naihomy (29:42):
Yeah, I love that.
Okay, so something that youtold me like right before we
started recording, and I totallyagree with this.
You're like oh, I want to talkabout how food interferes with
your mental clarity, because ourbody is super connected.
So sometimes if you aresuffering from a lot of
(30:03):
digestive distress, if yourhormones are just all over the
place, not the ones that youdon't have control over let's
say, estrogen, progesterone,testosterone, things like that,
your sex hormones they kind ofdo their own thing, but
something like insulin andcortisol we have a little bit
more agency over how they'reresponding in our bodies.
(30:24):
So, from your experience, canyou share with us how the
interconnectedness of, likephysical wellness and how you
are eating in your body can havea direct impact on your mental
clarity and, like, trying tolisten to your intuition?
Asha (30:40):
Yeah, absolutely the first thing is when you feel good,
you feel good.
And so if, if you are and I'mnot trying to get on anybody
about oh, you need to eat this,you need to eat that.
But if you're, my friend toldme I've been telling her for
years I'm like you were lactoseintolerant.
She's like, no, I'm not, I justget a little gas but I eat ice
cream.
Right, then she's been eatinglactose-free ice cream.
(31:01):
And then she said the other daythat she just bought some
regular ice cream and she waslike projectile vomiting and had
diarrhea.
I'm like I told you your asswas lactose intolerant, right,
and like.
That's an extreme example oflike if you're putting something
in your body.
She could not think when thatwas happening.
(31:21):
Right, she could not be focusedon anything other than how bad
she felt.
And then it took her, itinterrupted her sleep and then
she had to try to recover thenext day and then she was afraid
to eat and it just took heraway from being able to do the
thing that she wanted to do.
And again, maybe an extremeexample, but maybe you eat
something and your stomach'scrampy and then you spend an
(31:42):
hour or two hours thinking abouthow your stomach is crampy.
Also, energy it's about theflow of energy, and if your body
is using so much more energy totry to process something that
doesn't align with it, then youhave less energy for everything
else.
So, with the teacher that I'mworking with to learn how to
(32:04):
teach other people how toconnect to their intuition, we
do all kinds of movements andexercises that are not like gym
type exercises but stretching toopen up the meridians which
correspond with organs in thebody.
And so, from the spiritualperspective or energetic
perspective in Chinese medicineand in Asian philosophy, you
(32:25):
know energy can get stuck in thebody, and so food can also help
energy stay trapped in the body, and other activities like even
just like, lifting weights andthen not stretching or, you know
, doing something that justmakes you not feel good,
oftentimes with an energeticblock in the body.
Naihomy (32:47):
Yeah, the body shifts resources.
It doesn't have unlimitedresources and it can't take care
of multiple things at once.
It just has its core of like Ineed to keep this person alive,
like that's.
That's all your body wants isto keep you alive, as its only
responsibility.
And when we are always stuck indigestion, our blood flow is
(33:13):
always stuck in your digestivesystem.
It cannot flow to other areasin your body, to your brain or
to your like.
It just is processing digestion.
So your body will transfer theflow of your um, your blood flow
, to the areas that are most inneed at that time.
(33:33):
So this is why the eating is soimportant what kinds of foods
you're eating, how do you feelwhen you're eating them.
And sometimes we don't evenrealize, like your friend, that
a food we're just so used tofeeling sick that we don't even
realize, like your friend, thata food we're just so used to
feeling sick that we don't know,where it is to feel well, and
then we categorize that asnormal instead of like optimal.
(33:54):
Just because it's common, it'snot normal.
So a lot of people are justcommonly feeling sick in their
body and they don't know thedifference.
So is this whole healingprocess and they don't know the
difference?
So it's this whole healingprocess, and something that just
came to mind in thisconversation is just tapping
into like religious, uh, I guesslike rituals first for some
(34:18):
people, for example, we're stillin what's called Ramadan, right
, and they fast?
Why?
Because it's supposed to giveyou a little bit more mental
clarity.
There is no food happeningusually for Lent.
Some people fast or things likethat, like usually that like
usually religions, have somesort of fasting incorporated at
(34:40):
some season, um, and it doesn'tmean like you need to do
intermittent fasting orsomething like that, but there's
ways to create clarity by thetypes of food you're eating,
when you're eating it, howyou're giving your body a break
and it's this whole connectionbetween how do you feel what
(35:00):
you're eating it, how you'regiving your body a break, and
it's this whole connectionbetween how do you feel what
you're eating and what is itallowing you or not allowing you
to do.
Asha (35:07):
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, it's so true, and it'svery Western to separate mind,
body, soul, spirit, right.
But in Eastern philosophy, andalso a a lot of like traditional
indigenous and Africanreligions, it's not.
The person is not necessarilyseparate from the body.
So you feeding your body isalso nourishing your soul in a
(35:31):
sense, right.
It's not that you could, youknow, go ham over here and
deplete your body physically andthen still expect your brain to
function.
You know, we talk about whatfoods to eat for mental clarity
so you can focus.
It's the same kind of thing.
When I do intuitive readingsfor people, I don't drink the
night before, I certainly don'tdrink the day, because I want to
(35:53):
be sure that I am clearlyreceiving the messages and I
want the messages to comethrough clearly.
So when we start to remove thosethings that are noise for lack
of a better word then ourperception and reception gets
clearer.
Naihomy (36:07):
Yeah, that's so interesting that you mentioned
that, because I went to anin-person spiritual workshop and
part of the instructions werelike no-transcript really,
(36:46):
especially if you don't knowwhere to start, it's really
helpful to get a coach.
Asha (36:51):
And even when you do know where to start, it is really
helpful to have a coach just foraccountability and to complain
when the cravings are startingto leave your body and you just
want that piece of chocolate butyou're trying to cut the
addiction to sugar or whateverit is.
But it's looking at yourselfholistically and then starting
(37:11):
to make small changes that aresustainable.
So if you don't walk now, don'tsign up for a marathon to run,
unless it's like a year out andyou really are committed and
have a plan in place to be ableto complete that marathon or
that half marathon.
But do something that issustainable.
So maybe you can walk for fiveminutes after work just around
(37:34):
the building.
Maybe you can take the dog andyour kids out and, you know,
play with them at the park,because now it's starting to get
warmer and that's somethingthat they want to do.
They're going to hold youaccountable and so it's smaller
pieces like that.
Start with five minutes ofjournaling and instead of
thinking I have to do an hourand a half of meditation, join a
(37:56):
group, go in person.
Sometimes it's it's easier tohold ourselves accountable when
we're meeting people in person.
Um, I facilitate breath work.
It is so hard for me to turn ona breath work track to do my
own breath work that's alreadyrecorded I have to sign up for a
time.
Sometimes I have to pay to holdmyself accountable, and I used
(38:17):
to beat myself up over that.
I'm like you know what?
That's just what I need.
I just need that accountability, and so I'm going to make sure
that I have I don't want to sayguard rails, but kind of guard
rails in place, the support inplace to help me get to where I
want to go.
But start small, make itdigestible, make it doable, make
it fun, do it with a friend.
Naihomy (38:39):
Absolutely.
I know you mentioned breathwork.
I had another question, but Iforgot what it was, that it was
tied to this.
But then I was like, oh, I wantto ask her about breathwork,
because that is veryinterconnected to ourselves too
and it can be a very useful tool.
Now there's two parts.
Right, like I love breath work,and then there are other times
(39:02):
where I feel like I just have tomove my body and I thought that
I would like breath work wasthe only thing.
And that's like to help us.
Come actually, you us like whyis breath work important?
Um, why do we need it?
And when should we do breathwork versus maybe moving, moving
(39:27):
around?
Asha (39:28):
Yeah, that was a really good question.
So breath work and the way thatI'm speaking of it is a little
different than just breathingexercises.
There can be breathingexercises to calm, uh, breathing
exercises to help you focus.
That's kind of one set.
They're shorter in duration.
The breath work that I'mtalking about is usually about
90 minutes and it sort of takesyou on a journey and it's
(39:50):
amazing.
It's incredible Because whathappens when you breathe?
You're breathing in and outthrough your mouth, so you're
changing the carbon dioxidelevels in your body, which
allows you to have that feelingsometimes of like floating or
like you are going someplacedifferent.
But the beauty of it is likeunlike if someone were to take
(40:12):
ayahuasca or do mushrooms orpsilocybin, I should call it as
soon as you go back to breathingnormally, then your body, you
come back into your body andyou're just playing around with
the CO2, with the carbon dioxide.
So it's a natural thing thatyou can do for yourself.
But what happens is you startto go to that meditative state,
even though you're still veryconscious, and in that
(40:35):
meditative state yoursubconscious mind can begin to
work and you're able to perceivemore.
So sometimes people will have awhole conversation with their
ancestors, with their guides,they'll solve a problem.
If that was their intention,they'll, you know, dream up of a
new book idea.
It really depends on what yourintention is when you begin and
what your focus is.
I lead breathwork.
(40:56):
Where I, it's always a guidedbreathwork situation, and so
maybe I'm doing breathwork forancestral connection, or I'm
doing breathwork to connect tojoy and I will talk people
through the process and there'sa climax of the music.
It's kind of slow and then youbreathe a little bit more
intensely and there's a climaxat the peak where there's
usually a release of maybe someemotions or movement.
(41:18):
And then we come back down andpeople feel, no matter what
happens.
They always feel more relaxed,they feel more grounded in their
bodies, they feel like it wasexactly what they needed at the
right time, and everybody has aslightly different experience.
In my breath work, I tellpeople if you need to move, move
.
You know, in some situationspeople will get up and they'll
(41:38):
like shake energy off.
Sometimes I get restless and Ijust want to move.
It's all about moving energy aswell, so it's okay.
You don't have to be perfectlystill, not like we think of when
we think of meditation and howdo you know what you need?
I think it's a combination.
Sometimes you know walking canbe meditative and I just need to
(42:01):
move the energy through my body.
But it also comes down to areyou listening, are you in touch
with your body and are youlistening to what it's telling
you?
Because your body will tell you.
You'll know whether you need tolay down and do a breathwork
session and be calm or if youneed to go flip a tire because
you've got some like energy thatyou need to get out, and none
(42:24):
of it's wrong, it's all you know.
It all goes together to help usbe healthy, whole, happy people
.
Naihomy (42:31):
Yeah, you mentioned something very interesting that
I think it's important,especially in this worldly
climates that we're in right now, and you said that you do
breath work to connect to joy,and I feel like that's something
that a lot of people arelooking for and don't know
(42:52):
exactly how to find it, or theythink it only happens when they
I mean like probably me onlyhappened when I went on vacation
and I was at the party Right.
What do you mean by that?
Like you're connecting to joy,and how could people do that for
themselves?
Asha (43:11):
Yeah, so when did this happen for me?
I don't remember when theturning point was.
Probably in the last six orseven months or so, certainly
since I've been here in Portugaland I was just thinking about
ancestral connection, and it'sit's often so heavy, like going
to Ghana is heavy.
There are beautiful moments butyou know, people go because
they want to understand theslave trade from that side,
(43:33):
right, and we always talk abouthealing ancestral patterns and
it's this like heaviness, thiswork that we have to do.
Naihomy (43:43):
Like you know what?
Asha (43:44):
I know that my ancestors had to have experienced some joy
.
Naihomy (43:48):
Like it wasn't all suffering.
Asha (43:49):
Right, it couldn't have been all suffering.
But modern day, that's what weconnect to and we have built our
cultures, our communities havereally bought into the struggle
and the sacrifice narrative, andit doesn't mean that it didn't
happen.
But we have really been taught,and probably colonized, to
believe that we don't deservecertain things that are part of
(44:13):
our range of emotion to be ableto access.
We think we have to earn joy,we think we have to earn rest,
we think we have to earnhappiness.
Or if we are joyful, if we areresting, if we are happy, then
we've somehow betrayed thesacrifices that our parents and
grandparents and that ourlineage has made for us.
(44:33):
But it goes back to again whatis that freedom?
And it had to have come to mewhen I was intentionally
connecting to the ancestors, oror just like really thinking
about this, like joy is theultimate, like I'm here f you
and there's nothing you can doabout it.
Right, like let me, you cannottake my joy away.
(44:54):
But we have allowed so manythings to take our attention and
to take that happiness insideof us that I want us to be able
to tap into our ancestralconnection to find more joy
because and what has happenedtoo is I have understood who I
am through a different lens fromconnecting with my ancestors,
(45:17):
because, again here in thisworld, my grandfather worked
with Martin Luther King andMedgar Evers and they were
always afraid that they weregonna get a set.
Like my grandfather saw MedgarEvers' killer, the man came into
the office in JacksonMississippi a day before he shot
(45:38):
and killed Medgar Evers.
Like my grandfather was in thatmix right as a kid.
My mom said they were alwaysafraid that there was going to
be a cross burned on their lawnbecause they were active in the
civil rights movement.
My mom, when she was at theUniversity of Mississippi, had
to be escorted off campus by thepolice a number of times
because these white folks didnot want her here.
They wanted her dead right.
(45:59):
And so when you are growing upwith that, it is hard, can be
hard to be joyful because youdon't get out of survival mode,
or it may be difficult to getout of survival mode.
And so I, you know we'rethinking I'm going to honor my
ancestors, I'm going to go intocourt, I'm going to honor my
ancestors, I'm going to get thebiggest house on the block, I'm
going to honor my ancestors andblah, blah, blah, blah.
(46:20):
But when I connect with them Irealized that this modern day
dream is the modern day dream,but that ancient dream again is
for that freedom.
That ancient dream again is forthat joy.
And so the best way that I canhonor my ancestors is not by
staying tethered to the struggle, but is really being a joyful,
(46:41):
happy, sovereign human being.
Like let me go do the damn thingand let me be expressed in
whatever way that I want.
Like that's what they want forus.
They don't really want us tokeep slaving away at a job that
we hate in the name of sacrificeand duty.
I just I'm not buying into that.
(47:02):
Like that's a dream that wasplanted in us, but like that's
not it.
But I was only able to see fromthat like sort of higher
perspective, that olderperspective.
When I started to connect formyself to my ancestors, she
dropped more pins, y'all anothermic drop moment.
Naihomy (47:24):
I'm like I got chills while you were talking.
I had to pitch it Dang.
I think every single one of usneeded to hear that and that is
exactly why I wanted you on here, because I know we spoke about
a lot of things.
But I feel like in my community, when I'm coaching on food and
(47:47):
wellness and all that, this iswhat I want to convey to them as
well.
And you said it so beautifullyand it just went so deep of
being well is resisting, and itjust went so deep of being well
is resisting.
Taking care of yourself ishonoring is not being selfish or
(48:08):
needing too much Like.
This whole mental clarityaspect is essential because
we're so numbed out by stressand the hamster wheel and just
giving up our power and autonomyand desires out to everybody
else and not fulfilling our owndreams.
How much better of communitiesand families and all that would
(48:30):
we have if we had joy, if wefelt that freedom and this.
This week I spoke to a clientand she was telling me about a
video that she was watchingabout a woman ice skating and
she goes.
It made me cry because shelooks so free, imagine.
And she's like I should sign upfor ice skating classes.
(48:53):
I say you don't need iceskating classes.
That's not what it is.
Asha (48:56):
That's not what I mean you can, if you want to, but that's
not where you're going to.
Naihomy (48:59):
Not one, I mean it's not on your list.
You want to, you can if youwant to, but that's not where
you're gonna find the feeling offreedom right, right it's all
of this work.
That, oh, that was so good.
Asha, if you could tellyourself one thing back when you
were struggling in your mindand you were questioning all
(49:19):
your life decisions, what wouldyou tell yourself?
What did you need to hear tomake the process a little
smoother?
Asha (49:29):
You know, I I don't know exactly what that would be that
would that's a really goodquestion.
But I think somewhere inside ofme I just knew it had to get
better.
I knew that there was somethingworth working for, even when
things didn't go right.
And you know, when I wasdisappointed here and
disappointed that you'vewitnessed some of the
disappointment.
When I think about maybe Ishould just quit, maybe I should
(49:51):
just give up and do somethingdifferent, there was a part of
me that knew that there issomething more and I just have
to get there.
And maybe this is the I don'twant to say the cost, because I
don't think you have to tradethat for like joy and things
like that but I do think it's ajourney and it's a process.
(50:12):
And as much as I hated hearinglike, oh, it's about the journey
, not the destination because Ifor damn sure wanted the
destination it really it likehow can you be in the moment on
your journey?
How can you make every periodthat you were in count?
We spend so much time lookingforward to the future, but the
(50:33):
power that we have is in the now.
So, even when you're up at 3ambecause your kids are crying and
you're pregnant and you knowyour husband is just an idiot
and pissed you off today, likehow can you be intentional in
that moment and make sure thatyou are consciously making a
decision?
And that's where I think thatlife passes most of us by,
(50:55):
because we're not, we're justgoing through the motions and
we're not actually aware.
Being intentional about yourfood means that you have to be
aware.
You choose to be intentional,deciding to go work out means
you have to be intentional.
Deciding that you're going toconnect to your ancestors means
that you have made a decisionand you're taking some of your
(51:16):
power back.
So I don't know if I answeredthe question at all, but, like
keep going.
And I also wrote on my wall, Ithink in high school.
It said be willing to work likeno one else will, so you can
live like no one else can.
And I'd always stuck to thatand at first I used to think
that it meant hard work and youknow doing all the things that I
(51:39):
could.
But now I've taken hard workout of my vocabulary.
It's about smart work and youknow cause there's.
There's effort that's required,right, but it's about looking
at what is the effort that I'mwilling to put in, where and how
to get to the thing that I want.
And if I do this now, if Ifocus on being physically
(51:59):
healthy now, I'm going to beable to live like no one else
can, because I've put in thefuel to get the result that I
want.
If I focus on doing my work andlearning how to mind my
thoughts and learning how toheal, then I won't be carrying
those patterns into the futurewith me.
(52:21):
So it's not that it's not thatthe stuff ever completely
disappears, but it's like whatare you willing to invest in
yourself now so that you canlive a life that you want in
this moment?
but, also in the future.
Naihomy (52:34):
Yeah, it definitely feels lighter when you.
It feels extremely heavy at thebeginning, but it does start to
feel lighter.
So definitely, asha.
Thank you so much for coming.
This has been like soempowering and enlightening, and
I hope that whoever islistening just really feel seen
(52:56):
and just encouraged to have timeto think to, to be open to that
, to have the courage to takesome action.
And if you really want to andyou're too scared and you want
support, asha, how can yousupport them?
Tell us about your podcast yourofferings, everything you got.
Asha (53:16):
Yes, yes, yes, okay.
So I have a podcast that Ipublish infrequently now, called
Because I've Healed, and thatyou can find on Spotify or Apple
or on YouTube.
You can also connect with me onInstagram at Asha Wilkerson ESQ
, and, if you ever find yourselfin Lisbon, this is one of those
things that's happening becauseof intuition.
(53:38):
I'm actually opening up ahealing space in Lisbon that
will be focused on creating safeand healthy spaces for black
and brown folks, so I would lovefor you to come and visit me in
Lisbon, but go to my.
Instagram page and you will seethe information for that there.
Naihomy (53:55):
Awesome.
Are you doing?
Are you doing your groupcoaching?
Asha (53:58):
I am.
You're right, I forgot allabout that, so.
Naihomy (54:00):
I have coming up.
I remember, thank you.
Asha (54:03):
Thank you.
The enrollment period is fromApril 17th to April 30th and
it's a group program calledGuided, which will help you
connect to your intuition and toyour ancestors.
So it's a combination ofteachings that I'm going to
break it down for you and makeit plain and simple so you can
logically understand what you'redoing.
(54:24):
And then practice sessions andwe meet three times a month and
you have a week off and that'llbe for 12 weeks and before that
actually I have a webinar, aworkshop, called Meet your
Ancestral Guides.
So if you're curious, you cancome and join me for that and
that'll be a little taste ofwhat we'll do in the program.
You'll get to meet your guides.
(54:44):
We'll create a connectionritual for you so you can take
it with you and then, if youcome, you also get a discount on
the group program.
So that is April 17th, but youcan go to my website,
ashawilkersoncom, slash registerand you will see it there.
Naihomy (54:59):
I'm going to that Yay, if I can't, I'm like I, I want
more practice.
I'm just curious and all thisstuff I thought wasn't for me or
I couldn't do it, but it's justthe work that you said putting
it in being patient and takeyour time, so go connect with
(55:22):
Asha.
All of this information isgoing to be on the show notes,
so it's nice and easy for you togo click on it and connect with
her, and thank you so muchagain for joining me today.
Asha (55:33):
That was so good, thank you.
Naihomy (55:35):
I loved it.
Bye, everybody, see y'all nextweek.
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