What I Didn't Know: Building the Life You Recovered For
In 2018—after years of checking boxes and chasing approval instead of truth—I found myself on a kitchen floor for the first time, finally facing everything in my life that wasn’t working. That moment didn’t end the struggle; it started the rebuild. Welcome to What I Didn’t Know: Building the Life You Recovered For—a podcast for the recovering soul who’s ready to move beyond surviving and into thriving. This is a space for getting better together and healing out loud. We’re here for those who’ve built a foundation of recovery—whether from addiction, trauma, or a painful past—and are now ready to create a meaningful, aligned life on the other side. Using the principles of healing and growth, we intentionally rebuild and redesign every part of life. Each episode explores the real-world challenges and breakthroughs of becoming your truest self, including: • Purpose & Direction — building a future you genuinely desire • Mindset & Patterns — rewriting limiting beliefs and old stories • Conscious Relationships — boundaries, connection, and self-trust • Creative Fulfillment — reclaiming passion and expression This is a space for honest conversations—about letting go, courage, resilience, and the ongoing journey of becoming. It’s my passion to share what I’ve learned so you can build the life you recovered for. If you’re ready to thrive—not just survive—subscribe and share with someone who needs this.
Episodes
Your life path does not have to be a straight line. That feeling of being "behind" or having a disjointed journey is a common struggle—but it might simply be a sign that you have a multi-faceted purpose, one that branches out like a strong, deep-rooted tree.
In this week’s philosophical yet grounded episode, we explore why embracing a non-linear path is crucial to long-term fulfillment. We discuss:
- The difference betw...
Do you feel rigid and stuck, even after years of sobriety? Many reach this plateau, but the key to moving forward isn't just abstinence—it's emotional sobriety and psychic integration. Jungian Analyst in training, Jeff Browning, offers a revolutionary perspective: the parts of ourselves we push into the Shadow (like anger or old complexes) don't disappear; they emerge sideways, keeping us stuck in cycles we thought w...
"I think that the essence of reinventing yourself is owning who you are."
Join us for a heartfelt and profound conversation with Anne Taylor that redefines what it means to age powerfully and joyfully. We dive deep into the silent struggle of cultural pressures surrounding body image and explore how our deepest self-worth is often unnecessarily tied to professional presentation.
Through personal stories of radical reinvent...
This week, in a deeply personal conversation, Vanessa James takes us through the years she spent quietly concealing her identity. She speaks openly about the emotional struggle of navigating childhood trauma, overcoming explosive addiction within the music and hospitality scenes, and the immense hurdle of a shocking 164-year initial prison sentence, ultimately arriving at a place of true self-acceptance—the long-awaited chance to f...
“The most surprising thing I found in recovery was myself.”
In this week’s episode, I get candid with Ryan MacFarlane about our unique three-year journey as roommates, revealing how mutual respect was the foundation for success. We dive deep into recovery, with Ryan outlining the three universal anchors: community, a Higher Power, and service. We also explore the complexity of faith, detailing my evolution to a personal spirituality...
It's Time to Choose Yourself. ✨
In this profound and honest conversation, Taura Ryan and I dive deep into the complexities of personal and professional growth, getting real about the inner struggle of letting go of old habits, expectations, and relationships that no longer serve you.
We explore the challenges of navigating change simultaneously and the necessity of embracing it—even when it feels scary. This episode is a power...
In this profoundly honest and transformative episode, Scott Kindel shares his personal story of navigating life's greatest challenges: co-parenting and grief.
Scott details the essential work required to evolve his co-parenting relationship and drain the "swamp of resentment." Hear the crucial choice he made to prioritize his kids’ stability and emotional well-being over his own desire to be right.
Beyond co-parentin...
This week, we sit down for a powerful conversation with Michael Carlson, who opens up about his experience growing up in a military family and the lasting impact of his father’s alcoholism and PTSD.
Michael dives deep into the challenge of finding his way back to himself, the complexities of 'clean time' versus true recovery, and how writing became his necessity and portal for healing.
We also get personal: Michael asks abo...
"I kept the blinds down all the time... it was a metaphor for my whole life."
Today’s episode introduces a new type of segment—shorter messages from me to you—straight From The Heart. These are spontaneous and will drop randomly, whenever the inspiration strikes and my heart is being tugged on by something that needs to be shared. Think of them as surprise bonus episodes!
These are the episodes that simply have to be made...
This week’s episode meets us at one of my most treasured places: the intersection of intuition and addiction.
In this conversation with one of my FAVORITE humans on this planet, psychic Bee Herz opens up on her personal recovery journey through rehab before transitioning to a powerful channeling session focused on discovering your life's purpose. She gets into themes of intuition, empathy, and how most addicts have intuition in...
In this conversation, Rashad and I explore different complexities that come with navigating personal relationships alongside addiction. We both share raw moments of self-confrontation—from breaking a deeply ingrained trauma of abandonment to overcoming the limiting internal beliefs that tie meaningful work to burnout and financial struggle.
This episode is a powerful blueprint for embracing positive disruption, where Rashad unveils...
Chris and I kick off this conversation with my favorite topic of all time: boundaries. It has been the thing I’ve had to work on the most; once I realized I didn’t have any, I set out to go find out what they were about and how to both set and uphold them in all types of relationships. We discuss the importance of setting boundaries in relationships, understanding emotional regulation, and the challenges of navigating personal need...
On a kitchen floor in September of 2018, I woke up inside my adult life. And I was not okay.
In this premier episode, the stage is set at the lowest point I've ever been. That moment was a catalyst for the journey I would take over the next several years.
The exact words I said out loud to myself on the floor that day were, “This is not how this story ends.” I didn’t know what that would look like at the time, but what I did k...
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