Emily Mutai's voice quivers with emotion as she recounts a childhood shattered by her father's alcoholism and a society that often turns a blind eye to the struggles of women. As a young mother in Kenya, her story unfolds with the rawness of heartbreak and the resilience of hope. This episode is a moving portrait of life's harshest trials and the unwavering spirit required to overcome them. Emily's experiences with disrupted education, the perils of single motherhood, and the dangers that African women face, serve as a stark reminder of the realities that lie beneath the surface of a continent often romanticized for its natural beauty but riddled with profound hardships.
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Through Emily's harrowing tale, we share the intimate moment of a mother reuniting with her daughter after a forced separation and the chilling escape from an abduction that could have ended in tragedy. Her story is not just one of survival but a poignant example of the extraordinary courage that lives within the heart of every woman who has faced similar adversities. Join us as Emily brings us into her world, a journey through the very essence of human endurance, and a testament to the strength found in the unlikeliest of places. This episode is more than just a conversation; it's an emotional expedition into the depths of what it means to fight for a better life against all odds.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Before I begin this next episode, I would like to
thank all those that have beenfollowing this podcast.
What part of the game is thatwe are now in five continents
worldwide, two of which we'restriving to enter, which would
(00:25):
be Australia and South America.
Today we have a caller fromAfrica, A caller from Africa, a
young lady, who's going to giveus a short autobiography of what
(00:53):
life is like for a young womanliving in Africa.
You will hear in this nextepisode this young lady, this
young girl, pour her heart outabout the things that she went
(01:22):
through as a young girl livingin Africa.
This is their daily life.
We don't realize this.
This is their daily life.
I understand that there's issuesin every state and every
(01:44):
country.
I understand that.
But there's more to this thanmeets the eye.
That's not mentioned in thisepisode the style of living I'm
talking.
I've seen pictures in some ofthe homes that they're living in
(02:11):
.
I mean, there's no kitchen,it's just like a tin roof and
four walls.
To go to the bathroom, you haveto leave this little square box
which is your home to gooutside and down a hill to
(02:32):
another small box which I guesswould be like your outhouse.
To go to the bathroom.
But here in 2024, in Africa, thecontinent that was rich in
(02:52):
diamonds, or should I say thecontinent that is rich in
diamonds and gold, for people tobe living like this, it's just
sad.
I mean it's sad.
I wish there was more that Icould do to help people like
(03:16):
this, but for now, I would liketo at least get the story out.
Let her explain what life islike For people that never been
to Africa, that have no idea ofwhat it's like.
(03:39):
Sit back, Listen.
Here is a young lady fromAfrica.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Hi, my name is Emily Mutay.
I'm from Kenya, africa, and I'm23 years old, single mom.
I'm born in a family of twokids, me being one of them, my
(04:17):
brother and I, and I'm going totell you about my story since
childhood till this age that I'min now, and I hope you'll enjoy
my story.
Welcome.
I was born in a family that was, I think was, the best in my
(04:48):
times.
The best family that any kidwould love to have is theirs.
So when my grandmother diedthat was a long time ago, I
(05:08):
think it was like in 2007, 2008,my grandma died and since that
day, life wasn't good.
My dad started drinking, tryingto fight my mom trying to sell
(05:28):
stuff in their house.
So my mom had to go away frommy dad, live separately, where
we didn't like that.
But you know, the mother saidwe are going to live by
ourselves, so we had to go andlive there by ourselves.
So when I was seven years sevenyears old my mom started doing
(05:56):
odd jobs.
Now you know she's a single mom, no job.
She was married to a somehowrich family, but when they
divorced, my dad sold almosteverything, leaving my mom with
just a bed, a table, no seats.
(06:17):
So we had to start a new life.
My dad was not bad, but he wasa really great drunkard of his
times.
So when my dad went away, mymom lived this way.
We had to cooperate with my mom, and life wasn't that bad,
(06:38):
though, but my mom reallystruggled, really struggled that
I really say that my mom reallydid something.
Women go through a lot.
I really saw that.
So when I finished my primarylife, I went now to my high
school life.
Life wasn't that bad, though,but I started moving from house
(07:06):
to house, going to my auntie, tomy grandma school.
Now, high school life was a bitdifferent.
I had to look like a big girl.
When people are doing this, I'mtold you know, you're a big
girl now, so you need to do thisand this, do this, and so I
(07:28):
started growing up.
But when I went to school,things were really, really,
really bad.
I wasn't bullied, becausemyself I looked like a bully.
I was a big girl.
So when these other two girlsfrom three girls looked at me,
(07:50):
they said now she's big, we aretwo-in-pig Now.
They're saying they can't beatme.
So I was saying now my body isnow saving me.
So at my former life, life wasgood.
We stayed well until a time whenthere's this girl.
She was really big, like me.
(08:10):
She was called Gloria, gloria Idon't know the other name, but
Gloria was my best friend.
The problem here she liked boys, cute boys.
So this girl will just come andtell me whoa, emily, you know
what I found?
Like this cute guy in arestaurant when I was coming to
(08:36):
school.
So I couldn't resist the guy.
I had to take his number.
Blah, blah, blah.
So I was saying whoa, now youhave to come with boyfriends and
boys.
Me, I didn't know those stuff.
I was still, you know, thatchurch girl, that good girl for
mom.
So they started telling me whoa.
You know, when I heard that Iwas saying like, oh, so these
(08:59):
people are having boyfriends Idon't have.
So you know that peer pressure.
It pushed me to another step,where that when the school is
closed, I'll be going with thesegirls to wherever they were
going.
That is in Akuru, a town in myplace.
I'll go with them to whereverthey are going, do their stuff.
(09:22):
She was a girl from a richfamily, richer than mine.
She would buy us things, go tothe streets, help some street
children.
So I was like and now she's agood girl.
Those stuff, those boy stuff,why am I not seeing it?
But it wasn't like that.
That's how she does things.
(09:43):
She confuses you first.
She makes you to love her andsee that she's the best.
Now we went to a restaurantafter finishing distributing our
stuff to those friends and wejust sat there, started eating,
(10:09):
and from there now something badhappened.
I don't know if you're notgoing to believe this, but
believe me, there is a guy, amuzungu guy, a white guy, that
came.
I didn't know she was aboyfriend to this girl.
So you know, I was just likewhoa, this girl's just come to
(10:34):
our table, who is he?
But when the guy approached,approached where we were sitting
, this girl woke up, hugged thisguy and then they started
talking.
Even this girl knew her.
So I knew that this girl hadbeen to Kenya for long.
So that day went off like that.
(10:54):
I didn't ask the girl who isshe, but when school opened we
were not talking.
I didn't have any phone to talkto this girl.
So when school opened I met thegirl in school and then told
her oh girl, who is that guy?
Now she started telling me youknow, that's my guy, if you want
one girl, I'll do something foryou.
(11:15):
Guess what, when we were inschool, she would teach me how
to look at teachers in a sexyway.
So I'd be looking at teachersand saying this teacher is cute.
(11:38):
She'd tell me no, that's notcute.
Have you seen that, mr who?
Then I'll tell her, mr who, ourEnglish teacher was the best and
the cutest teacher in theschool.
He was really handsome.
Yeah, he was really, reallyhandsome.
So when we were in school thisteacher would come in class.
(12:03):
I was the best in English inclass.
So this when the teacher comes,the student would do you see
that teacher?
Now that teacher would come andstart blushing.
I don't know what to say.
One of these teachers again isnow.
(12:23):
I'd push myself to write manycompositions, so at least I'll
be near the teacher.
Talking to the teacher when theteacher comes in class he
praises me.
That made me really nice.
So when we were about to closeschool, we started again
planning for the next meetupwith this new guy that Gloria
(12:44):
was planning to.
To what we say, he wanted me tomingle with that guy.
So I didn't refuse.
We closed that's a second term.
We closed when to when, to theusual hotel we should go.
Then he brought me a black guyand I was like ah, I was waiting
(13:05):
for a white guy.
Why is it a black guy thatyou're bringing here?
You know I was obsessed withwhite guys.
So this girl was like so youjust stay with this one for the
time being.
Then I said no, there are a lotof guys better than this in my
area.
Now we started just, and we, we, we weren't getting along
(13:31):
anymore because I saw, like whyis he choosing for me such a guy
while he's having the best, thebest guy?
So I went home for the holiday,started this boy, boy, stuff.
I started wearing weird clothestill I met up this guy.
So this guy I met during theholiday was crashing on me and
(14:05):
asked ladies, we all know thatyou know when a guy is crashing
on you, it's either you love himback or you're just making
suffer.
You pretend that you love theguy, but you're not.
So this guy, I loved him back,you know.
So, on loving this guy, Ididn't know that I was.
(14:34):
I was landing myself to other,more problems.
I even didn't know that thesewere the ways that I was ruining
my future.
So there is this day that thisguy started coming to my place
(14:56):
not my place where I stay, butwho would call me?
Tell me, come to the road, wetalk and I would go.
Anything he asked me, I neverrefused, and whenever he wanted
(15:16):
to have sex with me, I neveraccepted.
Do you know why I neveraccepted to have sex with this
guy.
I never wanted because I wasbusy telling this guy my brother
said it is bad having sex whenyou are not done schooling.
(15:37):
You can get pregnant.
So this guy didn't like me thatmuch because I was.
He even told me I don't likehearing you saying that about
too much about your brother.
So we continued like this.
(16:01):
Then we started getting along.
When there is this day that mycousin I think my cousin was
jealous at me when he saw thisguy, I think she also liked this
guy.
So my cousin one day set me upand made that guy to come to my
(16:26):
place.
And you know it's not allowedIn Africa.
Your boyfriend can't come toyour place.
It's always bad and it's likeyou are being disrespectful to
the person you are going totheir house.
It's like you are not evenrespecting your own parents.
It's really bad.
(16:48):
When a guy comes to the girl'splace, you know doing that and
you don't know what the futureholds.
Maybe that guy could be yourhusband and he has already come
to your place so he can't marryyou.
It's always impossible.
So, as I told you earlier, Ilove this guy for real, but
(17:15):
after the setup.
We never got along.
He forgave me for giving outhis number to my cousin, but
what he never liked was me beingthe friend to my cousin.
(17:35):
So I also loved my cousin, so Icould not hear what he told me.
So we stayed.
I went back to school, but wehad broken up when I was going
back to school.
By the way, I never studiedwhen I was at home.
I was busy with guys, guys,guys doing this.
(17:58):
I was only busy with men.
I'll come and tell you why.
About this man?
What happened?
Why was I doing this?
But let me just tell you now itwas because of the peer
pressure I was getting in school.
You remember those girls weretelling me oh me, I have this
white guy.
Oh me, my guy is rich.
(18:20):
So I was like, why don't I havethis rich guy?
Why don't I have?
I was just pressured.
I was trying to look for aperfect man who, when I tell him
, hey, babe, I want this and itwill bring me exactly what I
said.
So when I went back to school,I continued studying.
(18:49):
Very well, that was the secondtime.
I even tried to work hardbecause I had started failing in
school.
My mom was worried.
She started coming to schooland my auntie checking up on me.
So I decided to let me improvemyself so that at least I can
(19:11):
change something with theresults that I got earlier.
So the second term ended.
Now we are going for the thirdterm so that I can go to the
next class.
So for me in school I startedavoiding these girls Because of
(19:34):
whenever I went with them orstarted talking to them, I had
this peer pressure.
They would come up and say yousee me, I usually use this body
lotion.
I usually they are from therich guys, but for me I wasn't
from a rich family.
I also lied to them then toldthem you know, my mom is an
(19:56):
engineer, she's doing this, butmy mom was just a usual worker.
She had no money, she only hadto work hard for us to study.
I knew it, but I usually lied.
My mom is an engineer, my momwas doing this, my mom, but all
our lies.
(20:19):
When we did our exam I failedterribly Because that was not
the marks that everyone expected, even my teachers.
They saw me that I was clever,but I don't know why did I fail?
Because I had stopped followingthose girls.
So when I went home my mom toldme you know, I want you to go
(20:41):
to a church camp Because I thinkyou need somebody to cancel you
.
So you know, church camps itwas only for guidance and
counseling and it was alwaysreally nice.
But there I knew that guys weremainly there, so I didn't want
to go.
I decided to stay at home.
(21:01):
I thought I'd stop once thing I, when I was being sent to the
shop or maybe told go, go, go tothe sawmill, I would go, me and
my cousin, until I met this newguy again.
(21:23):
After we had left the that firstguy, I met another guy and this
guy I will say I Changed mylife, like Changed my life until
now.
That was the only guy that IThink I loved the guy.
(21:47):
But you know what?
We dated for like three days.
The fourth day I Looked like Iwas cheap, but I think it's
God's plan.
You know I had to sleep withhim to put that I Loved him.
That's how we do here.
Some of us do that.
(22:07):
But bad luck.
I had really really bad luck.
Let's change my life.
So after going to school, lifewas smooth.
Nothing was really hard there.
I had new friends, I Sawstudents like me there.
(22:32):
But the problem is that I Don'tknow I whenever I was in school
, everything was great.
I Just look like everything wasperfect with me.
I Didn't know that there was.
There was something like adevil just watching me by the
(22:52):
fence there, wanting me to justget out of school and Help me to
mess up my simple life inschool.
I just wish that, if we couldhave powers they only wish that
I Would want Is the power to seethese demons that Just come
(23:19):
from nowhere start such a reallynear plans your future.
In Africa we believe that theyare demons.
By the way, I Know some ofAfricans don't believe, but for
me I know they are because Ialmost saw it.
But it always happens to me.
(23:41):
So many stuff happens to mewhich makes me believe that this
, this is the devil, is thedemon, this that thing that it
wants me to do something, butbecause I can't do it the way it
wants, it decided it willdecide just to ruin my future.
Can you just imagine, afterjust going back to school, the
(24:06):
first month, second month,everything was very perfect
until this thing came.
Corona came.
When corona came, I had nooption but to go back home, of
which I never wanted to get outof the school, even if the
(24:28):
disease was so bad.
I begged my mother and told herthat, mom, I want to stay to
school until the day thesethings out.
I can stay with any teacher sothat I I Can be helping.
Do you know, my mother refused.
Even I was wondering why didwould?
She refused?
And by me staying with ateacher that she would help me
(24:51):
come recover my lost Knowledgein those other classes, I knew
that I could perform better bythe help of the teachers.
They in school, who, who alsolived far and had to stay in
school, can imagine that theonly thing I was only afraid of
(25:15):
wasn't going home.
It was that devil that wasalways waiting for me somewhere
To come and just ruin everythingthat I'm I'm trying to make and
the mistakes I I tried to mend.
So when my mother refused, Ihad to go and Ongoing I I met
(25:40):
with a few challenges on my wayto my way back home.
There are my three classmateswho I met when I wanted to Go,
but they told me why, why don'tyou stay?
(26:02):
Then we'll go a bit later.
I had no choice because I knewthe work, my classmates and I
didn't suspect anything bad, Ijust stayed.
They, they took me to theirResting place in town it's in
Kapenguria town.
(26:22):
So we just say, stay there forlike 30 minutes.
Then this gas decided to tell methat you know what, you know,
if our boyfriends, yeah, wethink for them to come out of
their classes then and theydidn't mean classes, classes for
high school, it was classes,classes for the campus.
(26:45):
I didn't know, but I will.
I had to sit there and wait.
I don't know what they wereplanning, but whenever, when,
when, when they started talkingin their language, they were
poor court so I couldn'tunderstand everything.
So when, when this girl startedplanning their own things they
(27:10):
are not telling me what's goingon I stayed there another 30
minutes.
Time was going, the presencegoing was far and you remember I
told you there was always thisdevil, this somebody that would
only stand somewhere and watchme.
It could never take over me.
I don't know about stand.
I, even even right now, I know,is always somewhere watching me
(27:36):
, waiting for the perfect timeto come and ruin me.
But sometimes prayers help noteven sometimes always prayers
help.
So when this girl startedtelling me how we want to go and
buy clothes so that we can wearthem when going to their house.
I Told them you know, I wasinto this company when I was
(28:00):
entering from one high schoolTwo years back and I had to drop
out of school because ofPregnancy and being ignorant and
just being that nasty, nastylady.
Now this girl started seeing me.
Now she's worthless.
(28:21):
I didn't know they had anotherguy there who wanted a new girl
like me.
So on, going on, just walkingaway on them and going to about
my, the car that I would used togo home, they started my
(28:42):
marrying stuff.
And then one girl came and toldme have these thousand
shillings but stay.
I told her you know what?
I have more than enough money.
You stay with your money.
I didn't refuse the money, bythe way.
I Took and told her if you aregiving it for free, I'll take it
(29:03):
, but if you want me to stay, Ican't.
Then she just decided okay,just take it Me.
I took it and Went on my way.
I bought some stuff to eat withthe money because, by the way,
I didn't have much money.
I Only pretend that I had a lotof stuff, but I never had money
(29:27):
In school I even had to sell mysweater, my new sweater, so
that I could have a bit moneyfor Is my pocket money.
I know most of you arewondering what happened to me
(29:50):
now after taking the money andgoing back home.
On going back home, when Ireached my home, everything was
fine.
My kid had missed me, that shehad forgotten me, so I had the
whole night to try to talk toher.
By the time it reached morningmy daughter remembered me.
(30:11):
But the problem now was thatwhen I was there, there is this
cousin of mine who always wantedto be the best and the winner
of all, who pretended that henever did any mistakes and blah
and blah and blah and blah andblah and blah and blah and those
(30:32):
stuff.
When I reached home I startedtelling them my stories.
But whenever I tried to tellthem, this guy would come and
tell me he should have gone towork.
We just lied to us here.
This led to me starting headinghome.
I even didn't want to stay nearthe family.
Now I think it was the effectof the thousands shelling that I
(30:56):
was given for free when I wascoming.
I was pressured I had to go backto that first boyfriend because
the other one wasn't there, hewas dead.
I had to go back to the firstboyfriend.
I would go there.
(31:17):
He accompanies me, talks to me.
He wasn't bad, by the way, hewas just nice.
But sitting around a guy wouldlead to some other stuff.
Every evening I would go tothis guy's home, stay there
(31:39):
until around at night and thencome back home.
I did that for like a week whenI was thinking the corona stuff
would end.
Now it started getting biggerand bigger every day.
I knew that I would not go backto school.
So I was saying like, oh God, Ijust went to school.
(32:00):
Now I'm back again and though Inever wanted home for me home
wasn't home Since I had my firstbaby, people started hating me,
started using me as an adviceto their kids.
They would just go and telltheir kids you know, don't be
like this guy.
(32:20):
You see, his mother paid, mymother just paid.
They'll tell them her motherhas paid her school fees, done
for everything, but she stillhad the guest to have her baby.
That thing put me down a lot.
I usually felt really bad andafter those all bad talkings
(32:50):
about me I usually felt just badbut like doing something
unthinkable, but this guy wouldmy boyfriend now would make me
feel at home when I went to histhat I didn't know that I was
(33:12):
messing up.
I didn't remember that I tooksomeone's money without anything
.
I didn't know this money wasn'tgood money.
I didn't know that the 1000shillings that I was given was
now messing up my life and thatday for that I told you always,
(33:36):
was always watching me, wantedto a place that it was perfect
to him to come and fit himselfin.
Now the money was messing up.
On this other side, my life wasgetting bad, bad, bad.
Every day.
I had nothing to do.
I started falling sick, fallingsick After one month of staying
(34:02):
at home that my mother had totake me to the hospital.
Do you know, when I went to thehospital, the thing that they
found in my body was I waspregnant For the second time and
I'm still in school.
I felt like killing myself.
I even went and told the daddythat I want to abort the baby
(34:25):
and he accepted.
But he accepted, really.
But when I gained my senses, Iremember that I can die.
Why should I even do that?
I went back to this guy andtold him my mother has chased me
from home and he has told me tocome to your home.
(34:46):
And then this guy, when goingthere, he said the pregnancy
isn't his.
I had to fight for myself, butthe more I tried, the more it
got worse.
I had to go somewhere.
So my other thing that was inmind was that I will go to a
(35:07):
witch doctor and explain myproblem and then he'll help me
out.
So I went to a town near theplace I was.
I started asking for a witchdoctor.
I don't know if I could havedone that, but there is a guy
(35:27):
that told me getting a witchdoctor is easy, but the problem
is money.
You can go to a witch doctorand the doctor would ask for a
lot of money, which I can'tafford In the situation of yours
.
The witch doctor can doanything to you if you don't pay
them their own money or whatthey want.
Now I have to give up.
(35:49):
You know here which doctors doreal stuff.
I wanted to make this guy if hetried to sleep with another lady
.
He wanted him to stick with thelady until they called me so
that he can tell me why can hedo that while I'm pregnant and
(36:13):
when I told him that thepregnancy was his.
He didn't want it.
He would say it's not his.
So I wanted to revenge it onhim.
But somebody talked to me andthen told me you know, just
leave this guy.
You'll have the baby soon andif it's for that guy, you'll
just take the baby there.
(36:34):
Now I was relieved, but I couldnot go back home.
I had to go to a town near myplace I had.
This guy was my friend.
I told him can you accommodateme for two days?
I search for any work and thena place to stay.
Then I'll go.
(36:54):
The guy accepted and never tookadvantage of me.
You know, in my place not evenin my place most of the ladies
in Kenya suffer.
They suffer a lot.
Some ladies here, so that theycan get to work to feed their
(37:18):
families.
They have to have sex withthese big bosses and be employed
.
They just can't employ you forfree.
There's this guy that I told himthat.
Can you?
Can you add me to your securityteam?
You do know the thing that hetold me.
He told me it's okay, I'll addyou, I'll give you everything.
(37:41):
Even there's a house.
I'll assist you to stay thereuntil the time that you are okay
, but you have only to give meone thing for several days.
I told him what's that?
He told me if I sleep with youlike the whole night for three
days, I'll do anything you want.
(38:06):
I was like I'm already pregnant.
You know, this guy didn't knowI'm pregnant.
Yeah, it was just like a secretto me because I wouldn't.
I wouldn't go around tellingpeople I'm pregnant, I'm
pregnant.
So when I told this guy youknow what?
(38:27):
I don't want the job, it's okay.
He started abusing me, evenwanted to beat me up in the
house.
Then I told me it's my thing,why would you want to beat me up
for it?
I will never forget that.
So I decided to go to myanti-splice.
I had to abort the car becauseI saw here there was no hope,
(38:51):
there was no job.
But I didn't have enough moneyto go back to my anti-splice,
you know.
So I had to go to the car andtry to beg the conductor there
to help me.
Just take the the hundredshillings and go there.
Now I didn't know that thetransport had gone high by a
(39:14):
fifty shillings.
This guy accepted and then Iwent to the car and I had paid a
hundred shillings.
I and I, I didn't think thatthere was something bad would
happen when I, when I read theplace.
Do you know that when I, when Iwas about to read the place,
people are just coming down,going up, coming down, going up
(39:35):
until the place that I was going.
I thought that I would alreadytell them I was.
I was going down at a placecalled this.
These guys took me, they tookme to a place even I didn't know
, and I was the only one in thecar, with the conductor and the
driver, but and I was the onlygirl in the car they took me to
(40:01):
a place that took almost 30minutes, when they were driving
first, really first, and when Iremember that day, it was hell.
That was the worst day in mylife.
This took me to a forest.
(40:22):
I thought the only thing thatwas in my head that today I'm
going to be killed.
First I knew that they aregoing to rape me and kill me.
So when this they didn't know Iwas pregnant.
So I had that carrier bag witha book inside which I was only
carrying it on my hand.
They told me come down from thecar.
(40:43):
I came down, come, let's gothis way.
I went the way.
They told me I was scared, Icould not do anything.
I could not even alert somebodyto help me, I was only cared.
I had some paints in my stomachthat I could not even talk
about it.
Then, when we read the place,they told me sit down.
I sat down.
Then they started calling someguys on their phone so as I,
(41:08):
when I saw they were busy, Ijust took my book, started
saying let me read this.
Maybe it will be my last thingto read here the book that I had
.
When I was reading, this guycame and look at me and looked
at the book and then asked meare you pregnant?
Then I told them yes, how manymonths?
I told him three months andthen they started telling why
(41:30):
didn't you tell us?
Why would you waste our time?
Then I told him waste your time?
How I didn't tell you to bringme here?
This other guy came, told me tosleep down and then I saw him
trying to open his belt whilethe other one was just standing
(41:52):
there doing it.
So when he wanted to start histhat stuff like it was like it
was just like a rep, because Ididn't accept it anything he
told me he was doing itforcefully.
This guy told him what?
Just leave this lady.
She's already pregnant.
So I don't know what theywanted to do to me.
(42:13):
I don't know if they they hadsomething else in them that they
wanted to.
I don't.
I don't know.
Since that day after they tookme back and left me on the road
where I worked like one hour 30minutes to reach my auntie's
place, I've never talked aboutthat thing that happened.
(42:34):
I've even never met thesepeople.
I've been trying to go tostages and try to find these
people.
I wanted to report them but Inever found them.
I just say that it's God.
Women here in Africa.
I knew that we are all passingthrough a lot, but most of us
don't talk about it.
Can you imagine what I saw whenI was pregnant?
(43:01):
What if I wasn't pregnant?
I think it's God.
What if I wasn't pregnant?
I don't know their target waswhat, but I, it's God that saved
me that day.
It's God, god.
Before I begin this next episode, I would like to
thank all those that have beenfollowing this podcast.
What part of the game is thatwe are now in five continents
worldwide, two of which we'restriving to enter, which would
(00:25):
be Australia and South America.
Today we have a caller fromAfrica, A caller from Africa, a
young lady, who's going to giveus a short autobiography of what
(00:53):
life is like for a young womanliving in Africa.
You will hear in this nextepisode this young lady, this
young girl, pour her heart outabout the things that she went
(01:22):
through as a young girl livingin Africa.
This is their daily life.
We don't realize this.
This is their daily life.
I understand that there's issuesin every state and every
(01:44):
country.
I understand that.
But there's more to this thanmeets the eye.
That's not mentioned in thisepisode the style of living I'm
talking.
I've seen pictures in some ofthe homes that they're living in
(02:11):
.
I mean, there's no kitchen,it's just like a tin roof and
four walls.
To go to the bathroom, you haveto leave this little square box
which is your home to gooutside and down a hill to
(02:32):
another small box which I guesswould be like your outhouse.
To go to the bathroom.
But here in 2024, in Africa, thecontinent that was rich in
(02:52):
diamonds, or should I say thecontinent that is rich in
diamonds and gold, for people tobe living like this, it's just
sad.
I mean it's sad.
I wish there was more that Icould do to help people like
(03:16):
this, but for now, I would liketo at least get the story out.
Let her explain what life islike For people that never been
to Africa, that have no idea ofwhat it's like.
(03:39):
Sit back, Listen.
Here is a young lady fromAfrica.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Hi, my name is Emily Mutay.
I'm from Kenya, africa, and I'm23 years old, single mom.
I'm born in a family of twokids, me being one of them, my
(04:17):
brother and I, and I'm going totell you about my story since
childhood till this age that I'min now, and I hope you'll enjoy
my story.
Welcome.
I was born in a family that was, I think was, the best in my
(04:48):
times.
The best family that any kidwould love to have is theirs.
So when my grandmother diedthat was a long time ago, I
(05:08):
think it was like in 2007, 2008,my grandma died and since that
day, life wasn't good.
My dad started drinking, tryingto fight my mom trying to sell
(05:28):
stuff in their house.
So my mom had to go away frommy dad, live separately, where
we didn't like that.
But you know, the mother saidwe are going to live by
ourselves, so we had to go andlive there by ourselves.
So when I was seven years sevenyears old my mom started doing
(05:56):
odd jobs.
Now you know she's a single mom, no job.
She was married to a somehowrich family, but when they
divorced, my dad sold almosteverything, leaving my mom with
just a bed, a table, no seats.
(06:17):
So we had to start a new life.
My dad was not bad, but he wasa really great drunkard of his
times.
So when my dad went away, mymom lived this way.
We had to cooperate with my mom, and life wasn't that bad,
(06:38):
though, but my mom reallystruggled, really struggled that
I really say that my mom reallydid something.
Women go through a lot.
I really saw that.
So when I finished my primarylife, I went now to my high
school life.
Life wasn't that bad, though,but I started moving from house
(07:06):
to house, going to my auntie, tomy grandma school.
Now, high school life was a bitdifferent.
I had to look like a big girl.
When people are doing this, I'mtold you know, you're a big
girl now, so you need to do thisand this, do this, and so I
(07:28):
started growing up.
But when I went to school,things were really, really,
really bad.
I wasn't bullied, becausemyself I looked like a bully.
I was a big girl.
So when these other two girlsfrom three girls looked at me,
(07:50):
they said now she's big, we aretwo-in-pig Now.
They're saying they can't beatme.
So I was saying now my body isnow saving me.
So at my former life, life wasgood.
We stayed well until a time whenthere's this girl.
She was really big, like me.
(08:10):
She was called Gloria, gloria Idon't know the other name, but
Gloria was my best friend.
The problem here she liked boys, cute boys.
So this girl will just come andtell me whoa, emily, you know
what I found?
Like this cute guy in arestaurant when I was coming to
(08:36):
school.
So I couldn't resist the guy.
I had to take his number.
Blah, blah, blah.
So I was saying whoa, now youhave to come with boyfriends and
boys.
Me, I didn't know those stuff.
I was still, you know, thatchurch girl, that good girl for
mom.
So they started telling me whoa.
You know, when I heard that Iwas saying like, oh, so these
(08:59):
people are having boyfriends Idon't have.
So you know that peer pressure.
It pushed me to another step,where that when the school is
closed, I'll be going with thesegirls to wherever they were
going.
That is in Akuru, a town in myplace.
I'll go with them to whereverthey are going, do their stuff.
(09:22):
She was a girl from a richfamily, richer than mine.
She would buy us things, go tothe streets, help some street
children.
So I was like and now she's agood girl.
Those stuff, those boy stuff,why am I not seeing it?
But it wasn't like that.
That's how she does things.
(09:43):
She confuses you first.
She makes you to love her andsee that she's the best.
Now we went to a restaurantafter finishing distributing our
stuff to those friends and wejust sat there, started eating,
(10:09):
and from there now something badhappened.
I don't know if you're notgoing to believe this, but
believe me, there is a guy, amuzungu guy, a white guy, that
came.
I didn't know she was aboyfriend to this girl.
So you know, I was just likewhoa, this girl's just come to
(10:34):
our table, who is he?
But when the guy approached,approached where we were sitting
, this girl woke up, hugged thisguy and then they started
talking.
Even this girl knew her.
So I knew that this girl hadbeen to Kenya for long.
So that day went off like that.
(10:54):
I didn't ask the girl who isshe, but when school opened we
were not talking.
I didn't have any phone to talkto this girl.
So when school opened I met thegirl in school and then told
her oh girl, who is that guy?
Now she started telling me youknow, that's my guy, if you want
one girl, I'll do something foryou.
(11:15):
Guess what, when we were inschool, she would teach me how
to look at teachers in a sexyway.
So I'd be looking at teachersand saying this teacher is cute.
(11:38):
She'd tell me no, that's notcute.
Have you seen that, mr who?
Then I'll tell her, mr who, ourEnglish teacher was the best and
the cutest teacher in theschool.
He was really handsome.
Yeah, he was really, reallyhandsome.
So when we were in school thisteacher would come in class.
(12:03):
I was the best in English inclass.
So this when the teacher comes,the student would do you see
that teacher?
Now that teacher would come andstart blushing.
I don't know what to say.
One of these teachers again isnow.
(12:23):
I'd push myself to write manycompositions, so at least I'll
be near the teacher.
Talking to the teacher when theteacher comes in class he
praises me.
That made me really nice.
So when we were about to closeschool, we started again
planning for the next meetupwith this new guy that Gloria
(12:44):
was planning to.
To what we say, he wanted me tomingle with that guy.
So I didn't refuse.
We closed that's a second term.
We closed when to when, to theusual hotel we should go.
Then he brought me a black guyand I was like ah, I was waiting
(13:05):
for a white guy.
Why is it a black guy thatyou're bringing here?
You know I was obsessed withwhite guys.
So this girl was like so youjust stay with this one for the
time being.
Then I said no, there are a lotof guys better than this in my
area.
Now we started just, and we, we, we weren't getting along
(13:31):
anymore because I saw, like whyis he choosing for me such a guy
while he's having the best, thebest guy?
So I went home for the holiday,started this boy, boy, stuff.
I started wearing weird clothestill I met up this guy.
So this guy I met during theholiday was crashing on me and
(14:05):
asked ladies, we all know thatyou know when a guy is crashing
on you, it's either you love himback or you're just making
suffer.
You pretend that you love theguy, but you're not.
So this guy, I loved him back,you know.
So, on loving this guy, Ididn't know that I was.
(14:34):
I was landing myself to other,more problems.
I even didn't know that thesewere the ways that I was ruining
my future.
So there is this day that thisguy started coming to my place
(14:56):
not my place where I stay, butwho would call me?
Tell me, come to the road, wetalk and I would go.
Anything he asked me, I neverrefused, and whenever he wanted
(15:16):
to have sex with me, I neveraccepted.
Do you know why I neveraccepted to have sex with this
guy.
I never wanted because I wasbusy telling this guy my brother
said it is bad having sex whenyou are not done schooling.
(15:37):
You can get pregnant.
So this guy didn't like me thatmuch because I was.
He even told me I don't likehearing you saying that about
too much about your brother.
So we continued like this.
(16:01):
Then we started getting along.
When there is this day that mycousin I think my cousin was
jealous at me when he saw thisguy, I think she also liked this
guy.
So my cousin one day set me upand made that guy to come to my
(16:26):
place.
And you know it's not allowedIn Africa.
Your boyfriend can't come toyour place.
It's always bad and it's likeyou are being disrespectful to
the person you are going totheir house.
It's like you are not evenrespecting your own parents.
It's really bad.
(16:48):
When a guy comes to the girl'splace, you know doing that and
you don't know what the futureholds.
Maybe that guy could be yourhusband and he has already come
to your place so he can't marryyou.
It's always impossible.
So, as I told you earlier, Ilove this guy for real, but
(17:15):
after the setup.
We never got along.
He forgave me for giving outhis number to my cousin, but
what he never liked was me beingthe friend to my cousin.
(17:35):
So I also loved my cousin, so Icould not hear what he told me.
So we stayed.
I went back to school, but wehad broken up when I was going
back to school.
By the way, I never studiedwhen I was at home.
I was busy with guys, guys,guys doing this.
(17:58):
I was only busy with men.
I'll come and tell you why.
About this man?
What happened?
Why was I doing this?
But let me just tell you now itwas because of the peer
pressure I was getting in school.
You remember those girls weretelling me oh me, I have this
white guy.
Oh me, my guy is rich.
(18:20):
So I was like, why don't I havethis rich guy?
Why don't I have?
I was just pressured.
I was trying to look for aperfect man who, when I tell him
, hey, babe, I want this and itwill bring me exactly what I
said.
So when I went back to school,I continued studying.
(18:49):
Very well, that was the secondtime.
I even tried to work hardbecause I had started failing in
school.
My mom was worried.
She started coming to schooland my auntie checking up on me.
So I decided to let me improvemyself so that at least I can
(19:11):
change something with theresults that I got earlier.
So the second term ended.
Now we are going for the thirdterm so that I can go to the
next class.
So for me in school I startedavoiding these girls Because of
(19:34):
whenever I went with them orstarted talking to them, I had
this peer pressure.
They would come up and say yousee me, I usually use this body
lotion.
I usually they are from therich guys, but for me I wasn't
from a rich family.
I also lied to them then toldthem you know, my mom is an
(19:56):
engineer, she's doing this, butmy mom was just a usual worker.
She had no money, she only hadto work hard for us to study.
I knew it, but I usually lied.
My mom is an engineer, my momwas doing this, my mom, but all
our lies.
(20:19):
When we did our exam I failedterribly Because that was not
the marks that everyone expected, even my teachers.
They saw me that I was clever,but I don't know why did I fail?
Because I had stopped followingthose girls.
So when I went home my mom toldme you know, I want you to go
(20:41):
to a church camp Because I thinkyou need somebody to cancel you
.
So you know, church camps itwas only for guidance and
counseling and it was alwaysreally nice.
But there I knew that guys weremainly there, so I didn't want
to go.
I decided to stay at home.
(21:01):
I thought I'd stop once thing I, when I was being sent to the
shop or maybe told go, go, go tothe sawmill, I would go, me and
my cousin, until I met this newguy again.
(21:23):
After we had left the that firstguy, I met another guy and this
guy I will say I Changed mylife, like Changed my life until
now.
That was the only guy that IThink I loved the guy.
(21:47):
But you know what?
We dated for like three days.
The fourth day I Looked like Iwas cheap, but I think it's
God's plan.
You know I had to sleep withhim to put that I Loved him.
That's how we do here.
Some of us do that.
(22:07):
But bad luck.
I had really really bad luck.
Let's change my life.
So after going to school, lifewas smooth.
Nothing was really hard there.
I had new friends, I Sawstudents like me there.
(22:32):
But the problem is that I Don'tknow I whenever I was in school
, everything was great.
I Just look like everything wasperfect with me.
I Didn't know that there was.
There was something like adevil just watching me by the
(22:52):
fence there, wanting me to justget out of school and Help me to
mess up my simple life inschool.
I just wish that, if we couldhave powers they only wish that
I Would want Is the power to seethese demons that Just come
(23:19):
from nowhere start such a reallynear plans your future.
In Africa we believe that theyare demons.
By the way, I Know some ofAfricans don't believe, but for
me I know they are because Ialmost saw it.
But it always happens to me.
(23:41):
So many stuff happens to mewhich makes me believe that this
, this is the devil, is thedemon, this that thing that it
wants me to do something, butbecause I can't do it the way it
wants, it decided it willdecide just to ruin my future.
Can you just imagine, afterjust going back to school, the
(24:06):
first month, second month,everything was very perfect
until this thing came.
Corona came.
When corona came, I had nooption but to go back home, of
which I never wanted to get outof the school, even if the
(24:28):
disease was so bad.
I begged my mother and told herthat, mom, I want to stay to
school until the day thesethings out.
I can stay with any teacher sothat I I Can be helping.
Do you know, my mother refused.
Even I was wondering why didwould?
She refused?
And by me staying with ateacher that she would help me
(24:51):
come recover my lost Knowledgein those other classes, I knew
that I could perform better bythe help of the teachers.
They in school, who, who alsolived far and had to stay in
school, can imagine that theonly thing I was only afraid of
(25:15):
wasn't going home.
It was that devil that wasalways waiting for me somewhere
To come and just ruin everythingthat I'm I'm trying to make and
the mistakes I I tried to mend.
So when my mother refused, Ihad to go and Ongoing I I met
(25:40):
with a few challenges on my wayto my way back home.
There are my three classmateswho I met when I wanted to Go,
but they told me why, why don'tyou stay?
(26:02):
Then we'll go a bit later.
I had no choice because I knewthe work, my classmates and I
didn't suspect anything bad, Ijust stayed.
They, they took me to theirResting place in town it's in
Kapenguria town.
(26:22):
So we just say, stay there forlike 30 minutes.
Then this gas decided to tell methat you know what, you know,
if our boyfriends, yeah, wethink for them to come out of
their classes then and theydidn't mean classes, classes for
high school, it was classes,classes for the campus.
(26:45):
I didn't know, but I will.
I had to sit there and wait.
I don't know what they wereplanning, but whenever, when,
when, when they started talkingin their language, they were
poor court so I couldn'tunderstand everything.
So when, when this girl startedplanning their own things they
(27:10):
are not telling me what's goingon I stayed there another 30
minutes.
Time was going, the presencegoing was far and you remember I
told you there was always thisdevil, this somebody that would
only stand somewhere and watchme.
It could never take over me.
I don't know about stand.
I, even even right now, I know,is always somewhere watching me
(27:36):
, waiting for the perfect timeto come and ruin me.
But sometimes prayers help noteven sometimes always prayers
help.
So when this girl startedtelling me how we want to go and
buy clothes so that we can wearthem when going to their house.
I Told them you know, I wasinto this company when I was
(28:00):
entering from one high schoolTwo years back and I had to drop
out of school because ofPregnancy and being ignorant and
just being that nasty, nastylady.
Now this girl started seeing me.
Now she's worthless.
(28:21):
I didn't know they had anotherguy there who wanted a new girl
like me.
So on, going on, just walkingaway on them and going to about
my, the car that I would used togo home, they started my
(28:42):
marrying stuff.
And then one girl came and toldme have these thousand
shillings but stay.
I told her you know what?
I have more than enough money.
You stay with your money.
I didn't refuse the money, bythe way.
I Took and told her if you aregiving it for free, I'll take it
(29:03):
, but if you want me to stay, Ican't.
Then she just decided okay,just take it Me.
I took it and Went on my way.
I bought some stuff to eat withthe money because, by the way,
I didn't have much money.
I Only pretend that I had a lotof stuff, but I never had money
(29:27):
In school I even had to sell mysweater, my new sweater, so
that I could have a bit moneyfor Is my pocket money.
I know most of you arewondering what happened to me
(29:50):
now after taking the money andgoing back home.
On going back home, when Ireached my home, everything was
fine.
My kid had missed me, that shehad forgotten me, so I had the
whole night to try to talk toher.
By the time it reached morningmy daughter remembered me.
(30:11):
But the problem now was thatwhen I was there, there is this
cousin of mine who always wantedto be the best and the winner
of all, who pretended that henever did any mistakes and blah
and blah and blah and blah andblah and blah and blah and those
(30:32):
stuff.
When I reached home I startedtelling them my stories.
But whenever I tried to tellthem, this guy would come and
tell me he should have gone towork.
We just lied to us here.
This led to me starting headinghome.
I even didn't want to stay nearthe family.
Now I think it was the effectof the thousands shelling that I
(30:56):
was given for free when I wascoming.
I was pressured I had to go backto that first boyfriend because
the other one wasn't there, hewas dead.
I had to go back to the firstboyfriend.
I would go there.
(31:17):
He accompanies me, talks to me.
He wasn't bad, by the way, hewas just nice.
But sitting around a guy wouldlead to some other stuff.
Every evening I would go tothis guy's home, stay there
(31:39):
until around at night and thencome back home.
I did that for like a week whenI was thinking the corona stuff
would end.
Now it started getting biggerand bigger every day.
I knew that I would not go backto school.
So I was saying like, oh God, Ijust went to school.
(32:00):
Now I'm back again and though Inever wanted home for me home
wasn't home Since I had my firstbaby, people started hating me,
started using me as an adviceto their kids.
They would just go and telltheir kids you know, don't be
like this guy.
(32:20):
You see, his mother paid, mymother just paid.
They'll tell them her motherhas paid her school fees, done
for everything, but she stillhad the guest to have her baby.
That thing put me down a lot.
I usually felt really bad andafter those all bad talkings
(32:50):
about me I usually felt just badbut like doing something
unthinkable, but this guy wouldmy boyfriend now would make me
feel at home when I went to histhat I didn't know that I was
(33:12):
messing up.
I didn't remember that I tooksomeone's money without anything
.
I didn't know this money wasn'tgood money.
I didn't know that the 1000shillings that I was given was
now messing up my life and thatday for that I told you always,
(33:36):
was always watching me, wantedto a place that it was perfect
to him to come and fit himselfin.
Now the money was messing up.
On this other side, my life wasgetting bad, bad, bad.
Every day.
I had nothing to do.
I started falling sick, fallingsick After one month of staying
(34:02):
at home that my mother had totake me to the hospital.
Do you know, when I went to thehospital, the thing that they
found in my body was I waspregnant For the second time and
I'm still in school.
I felt like killing myself.
I even went and told the daddythat I want to abort the baby
(34:25):
and he accepted.
But he accepted, really.
But when I gained my senses, Iremember that I can die.
Why should I even do that?
I went back to this guy andtold him my mother has chased me
from home and he has told me tocome to your home.
(34:46):
And then this guy, when goingthere, he said the pregnancy
isn't his.
I had to fight for myself, butthe more I tried, the more it
got worse.
I had to go somewhere.
So my other thing that was inmind was that I will go to a
(35:07):
witch doctor and explain myproblem and then he'll help me
out.
So I went to a town near theplace I was.
I started asking for a witchdoctor.
I don't know if I could havedone that, but there is a guy
(35:27):
that told me getting a witchdoctor is easy, but the problem
is money.
You can go to a witch doctorand the doctor would ask for a
lot of money, which I can'tafford In the situation of yours
.
The witch doctor can doanything to you if you don't pay
them their own money or whatthey want.
Now I have to give up.
(35:49):
You know here which doctors doreal stuff.
I wanted to make this guy if hetried to sleep with another lady
.
He wanted him to stick with thelady until they called me so
that he can tell me why can hedo that while I'm pregnant and
(36:13):
when I told him that thepregnancy was his.
He didn't want it.
He would say it's not his.
So I wanted to revenge it onhim.
But somebody talked to me andthen told me you know, just
leave this guy.
You'll have the baby soon andif it's for that guy, you'll
just take the baby there.
(36:34):
Now I was relieved, but I couldnot go back home.
I had to go to a town near myplace I had.
This guy was my friend.
I told him can you accommodateme for two days?
I search for any work and thena place to stay.
Then I'll go.
(36:54):
The guy accepted and never tookadvantage of me.
You know, in my place not evenin my place most of the ladies
in Kenya suffer.
They suffer a lot.
Some ladies here, so that theycan get to work to feed their
(37:18):
families.
They have to have sex withthese big bosses and be employed
.
They just can't employ you forfree.
There's this guy that I told himthat.
Can you?
Can you add me to your securityteam?
You do know the thing that hetold me.
He told me it's okay, I'll addyou, I'll give you everything.
(37:41):
Even there's a house.
I'll assist you to stay thereuntil the time that you are okay
, but you have only to give meone thing for several days.
I told him what's that?
He told me if I sleep with youlike the whole night for three
days, I'll do anything you want.
(38:06):
I was like I'm already pregnant.
You know, this guy didn't knowI'm pregnant.
Yeah, it was just like a secretto me because I wouldn't.
I wouldn't go around tellingpeople I'm pregnant, I'm
pregnant.
So when I told this guy youknow what?
(38:27):
I don't want the job, it's okay.
He started abusing me, evenwanted to beat me up in the
house.
Then I told me it's my thing,why would you want to beat me up
for it?
I will never forget that.
So I decided to go to myanti-splice.
I had to abort the car becauseI saw here there was no hope,
(38:51):
there was no job.
But I didn't have enough moneyto go back to my anti-splice,
you know.
So I had to go to the car andtry to beg the conductor there
to help me.
Just take the the hundredshillings and go there.
Now I didn't know that thetransport had gone high by a
(39:14):
fifty shillings.
This guy accepted and then Iwent to the car and I had paid a
hundred shillings.
I and I, I didn't think thatthere was something bad would
happen when I, when I read theplace.
Do you know that when I, when Iwas about to read the place,
people are just coming down,going up, coming down, going up
(39:35):
until the place that I was going.
I thought that I would alreadytell them I was.
I was going down at a placecalled this.
These guys took me, they tookme to a place even I didn't know
, and I was the only one in thecar, with the conductor and the
driver, but and I was the onlygirl in the car they took me to
(40:01):
a place that took almost 30minutes, when they were driving
first, really first, and when Iremember that day, it was hell.
That was the worst day in mylife.
This took me to a forest.
(40:22):
I thought the only thing thatwas in my head that today I'm
going to be killed.
First I knew that they aregoing to rape me and kill me.
So when this they didn't know Iwas pregnant.
So I had that carrier bag witha book inside which I was only
carrying it on my hand.
They told me come down from thecar.
(40:43):
I came down, come, let's gothis way.
I went the way.
They told me I was scared, Icould not do anything.
I could not even alert somebodyto help me, I was only cared.
I had some paints in my stomachthat I could not even talk
about it.
Then, when we read the place,they told me sit down.
I sat down.
Then they started calling someguys on their phone so as I,
(41:08):
when I saw they were busy, Ijust took my book, started
saying let me read this.
Maybe it will be my last thingto read here the book that I had
.
When I was reading, this guycame and look at me and looked
at the book and then asked meare you pregnant?
Then I told them yes, how manymonths?
I told him three months andthen they started telling why
(41:30):
didn't you tell us?
Why would you waste our time?
Then I told him waste your time?
How I didn't tell you to bringme here?
This other guy came, told me tosleep down and then I saw him
trying to open his belt whilethe other one was just standing
(41:52):
there doing it.
So when he wanted to start histhat stuff like it was like it
was just like a rep, because Ididn't accept it anything he
told me he was doing itforcefully.
This guy told him what?
Just leave this lady.
She's already pregnant.
So I don't know what theywanted to do to me.
(42:13):
I don't know if they they hadsomething else in them that they
wanted to.
I don't.
I don't know.
Since that day after they tookme back and left me on the road
where I worked like one hour 30minutes to reach my auntie's
place, I've never talked aboutthat thing that happened.
(42:34):
I've even never met thesepeople.
I've been trying to go tostages and try to find these
people.
I wanted to report them but Inever found them.
I just say that it's God.
Women here in Africa.
I knew that we are all passingthrough a lot, but most of us
don't talk about it.
Can you imagine what I saw whenI was pregnant?
(43:01):
What if I wasn't pregnant?
I think it's God.
What if I wasn't pregnant?
I don't know their target waswhat, but I, it's God that saved
me that day.
It's God, god.
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