February 25, 2025 • 18 mins
Sam, Don, and I talk about Punxsutawney Phil, Sherpa, being terminated, and food in our unique, frenetic style.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Well, shit. I hope I didn't fuck that up, but...
(00:02):
I may be good-looking, but I can't sing worth a fuck.
See you next Tuesday. I have a little enamel pin.
I love that.
Excuse me.
Nice.
I'm not like Jake where it's like, hey ladies.
Well, you know, hey.
Check out this dick.
Got that fucking Barry White voice going on.
Come on to my house.
Hey, mama.
Be my biatch.
(00:22):
Giddens. Giddens.
Fuck me running.
Words are hard, man.
Giddens.
Stop watching fucking PornHub on your phone there, first of all.
Well, let's just slow down a little bit there, Jake.
I read smut like it's my fucking job.
Going through midget porn withdrawals right about now.
That's true.
Most of them are pretty cool.
(00:43):
I hear things going on down there that are just not good.
I'm Jake Jacobs and you're listening to What the Fuck.
I'm going to start this session off with a joke.
Do it.
What do you call a gathering of Karens?
(01:04):
The View?
Oh shit.
You know, Don, I think I like that punch line better than mine.
I know I was going to say an HOA.
Punxsutawney Phil
Yeah, that fucking asshole.
Saw his shadow.
Yeah, he did.
Six more weeks of winter.
And Gobbler's Knob.
I always love saying that.
(01:24):
Gobbler's Knob.
Gobbler's Knob.
That conjures up an image that does not say Groundhogs.
I'm sorry.
No, it does not.
Oh my God.
Yes, I was just about to say he saw his shadow.
I just looked it up.
Which, fuck, now I have to watch that fucking movie today.
Yes, you do.
It's 59 degrees in my house right now.
Oof.
(01:45):
59 in your house now?
That's why I'm wearing my wearable blanket.
It goes down to my feet.
Is that a Snuggie?
No, it's not a Snuggie.
It's an actual like, so it's not open in the back.
It's literally like a giant hoodie that goes down to my feet.
And it's made of blanket material.
We used to call that, what do they call that?
Fleece?
We used to call it turtle fur.
(02:05):
Growing up in Louisiana, it was turtle fur.
Yeah, it's a type of fleece.
But it's like, because I got the weird tactile Neuro Spicy
and I don't like, like Sherpa makes me want to scratch my skin off my body.
This does not have Sherpa in it.
I was like, that was the one stipulation when I was looking for you.
I don't even know what the fuck Sherpa is.
Sherpa is that like, I just nod my head like, yeah.
It's like that blanket material that like kind of almost looks like sheep's wool.
(02:26):
Like, you know, on the inside of a blanket.
Like, the outside will be like that nice, like whatever this is.
And then on the inside, it'll be like, it's usually white.
It's like a white or cream color.
And it's like kind of almost like a woolly scratchy consistency.
It's fucking disgusting.
I hate it.
So Sherpa is like Swahili for fake sheepskin.
Yes.
Yeah, it's like fake sheep's wool.
(02:48):
And it's horrendous.
It's like microfiber towels that just like, ugh.
Samantha, are you a texture person when it comes to food as well?
Yes, part of it, it's my ADHD and my little what I call tism on the side.
I don't like certain textures.
They freak me out.
So yes, I don't have any microfiber in my house.
I hate Sherpa.
Like I had a blanket that somebody got for my daughter that had Sherpa.
(03:11):
And I was like, keep it far away from me.
I'm going to have to look up Sherpa now and see what the hell it is.
Yeah, once you see it, you'll like, oh, yeah, no, I know what that is.
You probably own something with it and you just don't realize it's called Sherpa.
And then I'm going to hate it.
Yes, you're going to touch it.
You're like, Sam hates it.
Now I hate it.
Don's looking it up right now.
Sherpa.
Yeah, like you'll see like there's a lot of like hoodies and blankets will be made
(03:32):
like on one side is like a nice soft material like this.
And on the other side of the blanket is like that whitey creamy color.
Yeah, I probably already know what it is.
Like Don already knew what malicious compliance was.
He just never heard the term right.
Yeah, right.
Yeah. Once you see it, you'll be like, oh, yeah, I've got a I've got a jacket like that
out of that bag.
Or I'm like, here it comes.
So Sherpa, I got you, Jake.
(03:55):
A curly piled fabric structure made of synthetic yarns like acrylic or polyester.
The texture is soft and fluffy, useful in jackets resembling wool.
Our sheepskin on the piled side.
Sherpa fleece is a knitted type of fabric usable in line.
Blah, blah.
All right.
So cheap is why it gets put in there.
But here's the AI, the generative AI.
(04:19):
Oh my God.
So this makes most people that are nervous, they don't like it.
No, well, you're kind of racist because it's an ethnic group of people who live in the
Khumbu region of the Himalayas.
They got some really great climbing skills, endurance, and the word Sherpa comes from
Tibetan.
Oh, Sherpa is like the people that help you up a mountain when you're mountain climbing.
That's exactly correct.
Right.
No, no, no.
(04:39):
I'm fine with those kind of Sherpas.
Well, I hope so.
The people Sherpas, because the material Sherpa can go fucking south.
Whoa.
Fucking Sherpa.
Yeah, these Sherpa people, totally fine in my book.
Sure.
Yeah, Sherpa material.
There's also a brand of pet carriers, sustainable housing tool developed by UN Habitat, a visa
(05:00):
provider that offers simplified application forms and pre-screening.
My only qualm in this world is with Sherpa, the fabric.
All right, so all the rest of that shit's bullshit.
You just don't want the fake sheets to get up against your...
Damn.
That's fair.
So welcome to the Shit Show, part three, where Don tells us what the fuck happened this
week, Don.
Tell us.
I had a what the fuck Friday, actually.
(05:22):
I can't say I didn't see it coming because, you know, we talked about this shit before,
but I joined this company.
I didn't go looking for a job, I assure you.
I was pretty happy being retired.
I got a call from this private equity firm, interviewed the whole process, got hired on.
This was back in October.
They just needed some help, right?
So I brought up my alley and I should have fucking known, man, because listen, I've talked
(05:43):
about the CEO before.
I won't mention his name.
I had to do a presentation.
This is a big blown out presentation.
Nothing new for me.
I mean, the minute I fucking opened my mouth and started presenting this thing, he kind
of took it over.
I was like, well, all right.
I didn't think much of it, but after a while, you know, it got into just everything I did.
He, you know, I brought all these, these processes and programs to the table, which I said I
(06:03):
would do at my interview.
And he wanted me to spend this shit around like the day I got in it and was learning
how to drive it.
And then other things were, you know, brought to the table that are valuable.
I mean, this is business, you know, and my degree is in business.
This fucking guy wanted to kind of tell me what to do and how to do it.
You know, I told him to leave me alone, get out of my way.
And he's like, well, you kind of got to earn that.
(06:23):
I'm like, earn it.
You can earn this.
You hired me to do a job motherfucker.
And Samantha had some handy ideas about how to, what was the term you used?
It was a malicious compliance.
Malicious fucking compliance.
I love that.
Samantha, Don texted me the next day.
He's like, how is it that I didn't know that term malicious compliance?
He's like, I fucking love Samantha.
Oh yeah, I did.
(06:44):
And I think it was more colloquially coined in my generation.
Okay.
Well, that's fair enough.
In any case, he and I had a real, you know, it was like, I was bringing all
these processes that I've used for years, very successfully.
I think these things have worked.
They're sustainable.
Just good business practices.
Keep your ass out of lawsuit court and all kinds of in any case, you want to
(07:05):
tell me how to, how to do them next.
And then one day we were on the phone.
I was, we were talking about this elevator at this one hotel.
And I said, here's what I'm going to do to these thresholds.
And he starts, you know, you guys have all used an elevator.
You walk on and he has this fucking guy has never cleaned a building in his fucking life.
And this fucking guy wanted to have me in great detail how he didn't like the
way I, I then told me how to do it.
(07:27):
And I knew at that point we had a fucking problem.
It's like, all right.
So I was just like, you know what?
You're right.
And finally I just became, I did exactly what I said I wouldn't do.
I was like, Mr.
Yes, man, just trying to hold it together and keep the peace.
And he and I had some serious disagreements on what human resources
were supposed to do when it comes to training and all these different things.
Well, that's kind of you.
I'm like, I'm a goddamn operations guy, you know, I need to get the training.
(07:50):
I brought the, I brought you training that you didn't have.
I asked for somebody to fucking help me with this shit, just rebranding it.
So one day fucking HR chick who I thought was a really good guy.
She's a fucking dunce.
The next thing you know, don't miss words.
These Colorado people.
But anyway, she just kind of chucked me onto the bus and I'm pretty sure that
the CEO was kind of feeding her information.
(08:12):
Like, you know, we got to manage this guy out of a job.
I mean, I've done this before.
So, so I kind of know what it looks like, but quiet firing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Quiet firing.
So anyway, she and I got into a pissing contest and I thought we had business.
Anyway, long story longer, I ended the phone call very abruptly.
I called the CEO and I said, listen, I just, I just broke it off and HR's ass.
(08:32):
And he was just like, all right, thanks for telling me.
Friday came around and about, I don't know, four o'clock my time and they're,
they're sitting on their asses in Colorado in the office.
So they know exactly what's going on in the field.
Said, Hey, this is going to be a tough conversation.
You know, today's your last day at try it.
I'm just like, I wasn't that tough.
What was so tough about that?
Fucking threatened me with a good time motherfucker.
But you know, one thing I saw though was they, they're human resources.
(08:55):
And I hope their private equity firm will listen to this, but they just fire people.
I, you know, since I've been there, I'm one of them, which I kind of saw it coming.
So, and I really don't give a shit at all.
It was good while it lasted, but I was, I ain't losing another week of
sleeping over that fucking guy.
And it ain't the company because they have some really good people in there.
Karma will fuck his ass up.
Oh yeah.
Karma always does.
(09:16):
It is common.
It is common.
Cause I don't know if you guys knew this.
I'm a Virgo.
I'm a, I'm a cancer.
I'm a, I'm protected.
We are, we are spiritually protected.
And I don't know what he is, but he's evil and he can go fuck himself.
So, and I'm spiritually emotional at all points in time.
Well, don't sugarcoat it Don.
Tell us how you really fucking feel.
No, Jake, you know me long enough.
(09:36):
Years ago during one of the political campaigns, probably for president,
I had some very strong opinions and I was going to try to change your
fucking mind based on that and blah, blah, blah.
And now I don't give to fiddlers fucks because it is what it is.
And, and so what I want to do is I want puppy dogs and miniature
highland cows.
(09:57):
That's what I'm looking for.
I do too.
Don and I are on opposite ends of the political spectrum and we both know that.
However, we have remained good friends, best friends for the longest time.
Don't give a shit.
He knows what I think about politics.
I know what he thinks about politics, but that has not come between us.
And unfortunately, I know a lot of people right now that are having to
(10:18):
ditch good friends they've had for years.
They're having to set aside family members because, because, oh, I don't.
I mean, it is bullshit.
My father is opposite of me politically.
And I told him that based on whatever happens in selection going forward,
I said no political talk when I come to visit, keep it family, whatever.
And he's pretty much adhered to it.
We've occasionally made remarks, nothing like super snide or anything.
(10:40):
So he'll be like, are you trying to talk about it?
I'm like, no, no, just squash it.
Just never mind.
Forget I even said anything.
Yeah, no, we're going to talk about food now.
And I, my favorite subject, please.
Yesterday, I had a damn near religious experience.
I love me a Chicago hot dog.
That was just that style of Chicago.
Up until yesterday, my favorite hot dog place was a place called Corey's
dog house.
(11:01):
And then I heard of a place in Gallatin where Don used to live.
That's right.
And this place is called Campione's Taste of Chicago.
Heard nothing but good about this place and went over there, had a Chicago dog.
And as I'm sitting there enjoying this steady stream of people coming into this place,
they have other things besides hot dogs.
They have pizza.
They have Italian beef sandwiches.
Oh, they're Italian beef to die for.
(11:23):
I got a weird thing about preformed meat.
There's a joke there somewhere, but I'm going to stay away from it.
Yeah, I know.
I've tried.
It's not like I haven't tried them and been like, ew, I don't like it.
Like I've literally I've tried eating it and I threw up when I ate it.
And I was like, I guess hot dogs are not for me.
So I sent Don a text.
I said, hey brother, I'm sitting in Campione's.
Did you ever eat here while you were here?
(11:44):
He's like, oh hell yeah.
That was right close to the house.
Yep.
That was my, that was my go-to man.
Holy shit.
I get weird cravings for like red meat, but at the same time red meat makes my
stomach feel like I eat glass shards.
I don't know why, but every once in a while I just get a hankering for a burger
and we'll go to Five Guys and I'm like, this is great.
I'm going to hate myself, you know, but this is great.
(12:05):
I love Five Guys, but Jesus Christ.
Is there beef made out of fucking gold?
Like, yeah, that shit's expensive.
Dude.
Holy shit.
That's why it's a rare treat.
Good God.
I'm going to throw this at you guys and you can be judgmental if you wish.
Number one for breakfast.
Motherfucking Wendy's.
Right off the bat.
Wendy's.
Do it.
Still best burger on the planet.
(12:27):
Whopper.
Burger King, motherfucking Whopper.
Still made out of meat.
I agree.
I don't know that I've ever actually tried it.
And if you are non, if you're a vegetarian, the, what is it?
Impossible Whopper.
They're plant-based.
Tastes like a motherfucking Whopper.
It is just as good as the beef.
So you could, so vegetarians and vegans can enjoy that with confidence.
(12:48):
See, I woke up this morning and I was hungry as a hostage.
I've never fucking heard that before.
I have heard that, but it's been a hot minute since I've heard that.
Oh my God.
Just know that I was.
Let that paint a fucking picture for you.
Hey, no offense to any hostages out there.
Starving like Marvin.
Yeah.
None below for you, but here's the thing.
(13:09):
So I busted out four of these beautiful eggs, fresh cheese on that.
Cook that shit up.
Throw some bacon in the air fryer.
That's the way to go.
Fried up the bacon, the thick shit, not that thin crap.
And then took three tortillas and put them together in a microwave
and sort of soft them up.
Piled all that shit in these tortillas with some fucking hot sauce.
(13:30):
On that, bro.
That was breakfast this morning.
Don't a Taco Bell, a Taco Bell ish.
But it was, it was for fat people.
I fucked that shit.
I'm trying to please wait.
Damn it.
My inner fat kid is a, now I'm hungry.
First year I was here in Nashville.
They do this thing every year called the Americana Festival, where it's
(13:52):
a whole bunch of really great bands get together and Americana, which
is kind of like country, kind of not like country, whatever.
Billy Bob Thornton, the actor has had a band for a long time called
the Boxmasters and they're like rock country retro.
I mean, it's a really cool band.
Billy Bob plays the drums and he sings.
Rockabilly.
Yeah, rockabilly.
Yeah.
So one of the shows that night was at the Cannery Ballroom, which
(14:14):
the place is brick.
So the sound in there bounces off the walls like rubber balls, right?
So Billy Bob's getting ready to come out and there's this fucking
bachelorette party fucking comes blowing through and that's, oh my God.
And in Nashville, we call them the fucking woo girls.
Okay.
They'll walk into a bar and you're trying to, you're trying to watch
(14:35):
a band and they're just wooing it up.
And so this bachelorette party makes its way to the front of the
fucking stage to see Billy Bob.
Right.
So he starts his show and his band is really good.
He's super talented dude.
Right.
About three, four songs into it, Billy Bob looks down at one of the women
there and I guess they were complaining that they couldn't hear his voice.
And he's like, move back and you'll be able to hear me.
(14:56):
Well, they, they weren't moving back.
They were dead set.
They had to be right where they were.
Couple of songs later, Billy Bob after song.
He goes, look, I done told you fuckers to step the fuck back.
If you can't fucking hear me.
He said, if you think front center is the best place to watch and hear a
band, he goes, move the fuck back.
Like he was like not having it anymore.
He was done, but they kept saying, we can't hear you.
We can't hear you.
(15:17):
Woo.
We can't hear you.
He's like, fuck you.
He's like fucking move back about 20 feet.
Billy Bob Thornton is the motherfucking guy.
And if you guys have not seen his new show called land man, man.
Oh my God.
I haven't seen it.
You've got to watch it.
Just start at the beginning.
Yeah.
That character that he plays in that is a very sharp tongue.
Smart guy.
(15:38):
It's really a fun show to watch, especially with a personality like Billy Bob Thornton.
And I think after all these years of watching his movies and this really showcases.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
It's true talent.
You know, okay.
I'll give it a chance before the show Billy Bob and his band.
And it's only three of them.
It's a, it's a three piece band.
They were at a record store here in Nashville called Grimey's.
So they were doing a meet and greet and then they were doing an acoustic set after the
(16:02):
meet and greet.
So there was a line to see Billy Bob and he wasn't charging for it.
It was free.
The guy in front of me in line wasn't there for his music.
He was there to meet Billy Bob the actor.
So he had like DVD insert covers for him to fuck.
It's like he had like 10 of them.
Right.
And Billy Bob wasn't there for his movies.
He was promoting his band.
Right.
So this guy took it upon himself.
I'm going to meet the actor.
Right.
So Billy Bob signed every single one of them.
(16:23):
He was gracious.
He did it.
Right.
I come up Billy Bob said, hey, how you doing, man?
I said, I think the previous guy missed one.
He goes, which one did he miss?
I said, Tombstone.
He goes, oh my God.
Billy Bob Thornton is in the movie Tombstone, but only for about five minutes.
I was going to say he is.
His five minutes is memorable.
He's the guy that Kurt Russell slaps in the face.
Oh shit.
You're going to do something.
(16:44):
You're just going to stand there and bleed.
He said, man, that was a fun movie.
And so then I had Billy Bob's CD or the band's CD, and then they all signed the box.
And he's like, hey, are you going to the show later tonight?
I'm like, yeah.
He said, well, he said, stick around.
We're going to do an acoustic set here at Grimey's.
Super cool dude.
But I will tell you this.
He looks larger than life on screen.
He's maybe 5'9".
Really?
(17:04):
If that.
Man, I shook his hand, and it was like, I have big hands, obviously.
He always looks like he's like close to six foot.
No.
Really?
No, no, no, no.
Wow.
During the show, he did a fucking drum solo.
I was like, what the fuck?
Really?
Like, you just don't see that coming.
For most of the show, he was just standing up front.
He was the singer.
So he has a regular drummer.
But at one part in the show, he'll get behind that drum kit.
(17:26):
And he, oh my god.
I was like, really?
Incredible.
Yeah.
One of the songs is called Honey, I'm Watching the Game.
And the song is about exactly what the title says.
This guy is sitting there trying to watch a baseball game, and his wife is just nagging the fuck out of him.
And that's what the song is about.
Honey, I'm watching the game.
(17:46):
And it is classic Billy Bob.
And then at the end of the song, he's like, honey, can you make me a sandwich, please?
Classic.
What the hell?
There we go.
There we go.
Fantastic.
What the fuck?
What the fuck?
That's not my range.
Well, shit. I hope I didn't fuck that up, but...
(00:02):
I may be good-looking, but I can't sing worth a fuck.
See you next Tuesday. I have a little enamel pin.
I love that.
Excuse me.
Nice.
I'm not like Jake where it's like, hey ladies.
Well, you know, hey.
Check out this dick.
Got that fucking Barry White voice going on.
Come on to my house.
Hey, mama.
Be my biatch.
(00:22):
Giddens. Giddens.
Fuck me running.
Words are hard, man.
Giddens.
Stop watching fucking PornHub on your phone there, first of all.
Well, let's just slow down a little bit there, Jake.
I read smut like it's my fucking job.
Going through midget porn withdrawals right about now.
That's true.
Most of them are pretty cool.
(00:43):
I hear things going on down there that are just not good.
I'm Jake Jacobs and you're listening to What the Fuck.
I'm going to start this session off with a joke.
Do it.
What do you call a gathering of Karens?
(01:04):
The View?
Oh shit.
You know, Don, I think I like that punch line better than mine.
I know I was going to say an HOA.
Punxsutawney Phil
Yeah, that fucking asshole.
Saw his shadow.
Yeah, he did.
Six more weeks of winter.
And Gobbler's Knob.
I always love saying that.
(01:24):
Gobbler's Knob.
Gobbler's Knob.
That conjures up an image that does not say Groundhogs.
I'm sorry.
No, it does not.
Oh my God.
Yes, I was just about to say he saw his shadow.
I just looked it up.
Which, fuck, now I have to watch that fucking movie today.
Yes, you do.
It's 59 degrees in my house right now.
Oof.
(01:45):
59 in your house now?
That's why I'm wearing my wearable blanket.
It goes down to my feet.
Is that a Snuggie?
No, it's not a Snuggie.
It's an actual like, so it's not open in the back.
It's literally like a giant hoodie that goes down to my feet.
And it's made of blanket material.
We used to call that, what do they call that?
Fleece?
We used to call it turtle fur.
(02:05):
Growing up in Louisiana, it was turtle fur.
Yeah, it's a type of fleece.
But it's like, because I got the weird tactile Neuro Spicy
and I don't like, like Sherpa makes me want to scratch my skin off my body.
This does not have Sherpa in it.
I was like, that was the one stipulation when I was looking for you.
I don't even know what the fuck Sherpa is.
Sherpa is that like, I just nod my head like, yeah.
It's like that blanket material that like kind of almost looks like sheep's wool.
(02:26):
Like, you know, on the inside of a blanket.
Like, the outside will be like that nice, like whatever this is.
And then on the inside, it'll be like, it's usually white.
It's like a white or cream color.
And it's like kind of almost like a woolly scratchy consistency.
It's fucking disgusting.
I hate it.
So Sherpa is like Swahili for fake sheepskin.
Yes.
Yeah, it's like fake sheep's wool.
(02:48):
And it's horrendous.
It's like microfiber towels that just like, ugh.
Samantha, are you a texture person when it comes to food as well?
Yes, part of it, it's my ADHD and my little what I call tism on the side.
I don't like certain textures.
They freak me out.
So yes, I don't have any microfiber in my house.
I hate Sherpa.
Like I had a blanket that somebody got for my daughter that had Sherpa.
(03:11):
And I was like, keep it far away from me.
I'm going to have to look up Sherpa now and see what the hell it is.
Yeah, once you see it, you'll like, oh, yeah, no, I know what that is.
You probably own something with it and you just don't realize it's called Sherpa.
And then I'm going to hate it.
Yes, you're going to touch it.
You're like, Sam hates it.
Now I hate it.
Don's looking it up right now.
Sherpa.
Yeah, like you'll see like there's a lot of like hoodies and blankets will be made
(03:32):
like on one side is like a nice soft material like this.
And on the other side of the blanket is like that whitey creamy color.
Yeah, I probably already know what it is.
Like Don already knew what malicious compliance was.
He just never heard the term right.
Yeah, right.
Yeah. Once you see it, you'll be like, oh, yeah, I've got a I've got a jacket like that
out of that bag.
Or I'm like, here it comes.
So Sherpa, I got you, Jake.
(03:55):
A curly piled fabric structure made of synthetic yarns like acrylic or polyester.
The texture is soft and fluffy, useful in jackets resembling wool.
Our sheepskin on the piled side.
Sherpa fleece is a knitted type of fabric usable in line.
Blah, blah.
All right.
So cheap is why it gets put in there.
But here's the AI, the generative AI.
(04:19):
Oh my God.
So this makes most people that are nervous, they don't like it.
No, well, you're kind of racist because it's an ethnic group of people who live in the
Khumbu region of the Himalayas.
They got some really great climbing skills, endurance, and the word Sherpa comes from
Tibetan.
Oh, Sherpa is like the people that help you up a mountain when you're mountain climbing.
That's exactly correct.
Right.
No, no, no.
(04:39):
I'm fine with those kind of Sherpas.
Well, I hope so.
The people Sherpas, because the material Sherpa can go fucking south.
Whoa.
Fucking Sherpa.
Yeah, these Sherpa people, totally fine in my book.
Sure.
Yeah, Sherpa material.
There's also a brand of pet carriers, sustainable housing tool developed by UN Habitat, a visa
(05:00):
provider that offers simplified application forms and pre-screening.
My only qualm in this world is with Sherpa, the fabric.
All right, so all the rest of that shit's bullshit.
You just don't want the fake sheets to get up against your...
Damn.
That's fair.
So welcome to the Shit Show, part three, where Don tells us what the fuck happened this
week, Don.
Tell us.
I had a what the fuck Friday, actually.
(05:22):
I can't say I didn't see it coming because, you know, we talked about this shit before,
but I joined this company.
I didn't go looking for a job, I assure you.
I was pretty happy being retired.
I got a call from this private equity firm, interviewed the whole process, got hired on.
This was back in October.
They just needed some help, right?
So I brought up my alley and I should have fucking known, man, because listen, I've talked
(05:43):
about the CEO before.
I won't mention his name.
I had to do a presentation.
This is a big blown out presentation.
Nothing new for me.
I mean, the minute I fucking opened my mouth and started presenting this thing, he kind
of took it over.
I was like, well, all right.
I didn't think much of it, but after a while, you know, it got into just everything I did.
He, you know, I brought all these, these processes and programs to the table, which I said I
(06:03):
would do at my interview.
And he wanted me to spend this shit around like the day I got in it and was learning
how to drive it.
And then other things were, you know, brought to the table that are valuable.
I mean, this is business, you know, and my degree is in business.
This fucking guy wanted to kind of tell me what to do and how to do it.
You know, I told him to leave me alone, get out of my way.
And he's like, well, you kind of got to earn that.
(06:23):
I'm like, earn it.
You can earn this.
You hired me to do a job motherfucker.
And Samantha had some handy ideas about how to, what was the term you used?
It was a malicious compliance.
Malicious fucking compliance.
I love that.
Samantha, Don texted me the next day.
He's like, how is it that I didn't know that term malicious compliance?
He's like, I fucking love Samantha.
Oh yeah, I did.
(06:44):
And I think it was more colloquially coined in my generation.
Okay.
Well, that's fair enough.
In any case, he and I had a real, you know, it was like, I was bringing all
these processes that I've used for years, very successfully.
I think these things have worked.
They're sustainable.
Just good business practices.
Keep your ass out of lawsuit court and all kinds of in any case, you want to
(07:05):
tell me how to, how to do them next.
And then one day we were on the phone.
I was, we were talking about this elevator at this one hotel.
And I said, here's what I'm going to do to these thresholds.
And he starts, you know, you guys have all used an elevator.
You walk on and he has this fucking guy has never cleaned a building in his fucking life.
And this fucking guy wanted to have me in great detail how he didn't like the
way I, I then told me how to do it.
(07:27):
And I knew at that point we had a fucking problem.
It's like, all right.
So I was just like, you know what?
You're right.
And finally I just became, I did exactly what I said I wouldn't do.
I was like, Mr.
Yes, man, just trying to hold it together and keep the peace.
And he and I had some serious disagreements on what human resources
were supposed to do when it comes to training and all these different things.
Well, that's kind of you.
I'm like, I'm a goddamn operations guy, you know, I need to get the training.
(07:50):
I brought the, I brought you training that you didn't have.
I asked for somebody to fucking help me with this shit, just rebranding it.
So one day fucking HR chick who I thought was a really good guy.
She's a fucking dunce.
The next thing you know, don't miss words.
These Colorado people.
But anyway, she just kind of chucked me onto the bus and I'm pretty sure that
the CEO was kind of feeding her information.
(08:12):
Like, you know, we got to manage this guy out of a job.
I mean, I've done this before.
So, so I kind of know what it looks like, but quiet firing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Quiet firing.
So anyway, she and I got into a pissing contest and I thought we had business.
Anyway, long story longer, I ended the phone call very abruptly.
I called the CEO and I said, listen, I just, I just broke it off and HR's ass.
(08:32):
And he was just like, all right, thanks for telling me.
Friday came around and about, I don't know, four o'clock my time and they're,
they're sitting on their asses in Colorado in the office.
So they know exactly what's going on in the field.
Said, Hey, this is going to be a tough conversation.
You know, today's your last day at try it.
I'm just like, I wasn't that tough.
What was so tough about that?
Fucking threatened me with a good time motherfucker.
But you know, one thing I saw though was they, they're human resources.
(08:55):
And I hope their private equity firm will listen to this, but they just fire people.
I, you know, since I've been there, I'm one of them, which I kind of saw it coming.
So, and I really don't give a shit at all.
It was good while it lasted, but I was, I ain't losing another week of
sleeping over that fucking guy.
And it ain't the company because they have some really good people in there.
Karma will fuck his ass up.
Oh yeah.
Karma always does.
(09:16):
It is common.
It is common.
Cause I don't know if you guys knew this.
I'm a Virgo.
I'm a, I'm a cancer.
I'm a, I'm protected.
We are, we are spiritually protected.
And I don't know what he is, but he's evil and he can go fuck himself.
So, and I'm spiritually emotional at all points in time.
Well, don't sugarcoat it Don.
Tell us how you really fucking feel.
No, Jake, you know me long enough.
(09:36):
Years ago during one of the political campaigns, probably for president,
I had some very strong opinions and I was going to try to change your
fucking mind based on that and blah, blah, blah.
And now I don't give to fiddlers fucks because it is what it is.
And, and so what I want to do is I want puppy dogs and miniature
highland cows.
(09:57):
That's what I'm looking for.
I do too.
Don and I are on opposite ends of the political spectrum and we both know that.
However, we have remained good friends, best friends for the longest time.
Don't give a shit.
He knows what I think about politics.
I know what he thinks about politics, but that has not come between us.
And unfortunately, I know a lot of people right now that are having to
(10:18):
ditch good friends they've had for years.
They're having to set aside family members because, because, oh, I don't.
I mean, it is bullshit.
My father is opposite of me politically.
And I told him that based on whatever happens in selection going forward,
I said no political talk when I come to visit, keep it family, whatever.
And he's pretty much adhered to it.
We've occasionally made remarks, nothing like super snide or anything.
(10:40):
So he'll be like, are you trying to talk about it?
I'm like, no, no, just squash it.
Just never mind.
Forget I even said anything.
Yeah, no, we're going to talk about food now.
And I, my favorite subject, please.
Yesterday, I had a damn near religious experience.
I love me a Chicago hot dog.
That was just that style of Chicago.
Up until yesterday, my favorite hot dog place was a place called Corey's
dog house.
(11:01):
And then I heard of a place in Gallatin where Don used to live.
That's right.
And this place is called Campione's Taste of Chicago.
Heard nothing but good about this place and went over there, had a Chicago dog.
And as I'm sitting there enjoying this steady stream of people coming into this place,
they have other things besides hot dogs.
They have pizza.
They have Italian beef sandwiches.
Oh, they're Italian beef to die for.
(11:23):
I got a weird thing about preformed meat.
There's a joke there somewhere, but I'm going to stay away from it.
Yeah, I know.
I've tried.
It's not like I haven't tried them and been like, ew, I don't like it.
Like I've literally I've tried eating it and I threw up when I ate it.
And I was like, I guess hot dogs are not for me.
So I sent Don a text.
I said, hey brother, I'm sitting in Campione's.
Did you ever eat here while you were here?
(11:44):
He's like, oh hell yeah.
That was right close to the house.
Yep.
That was my, that was my go-to man.
Holy shit.
I get weird cravings for like red meat, but at the same time red meat makes my
stomach feel like I eat glass shards.
I don't know why, but every once in a while I just get a hankering for a burger
and we'll go to Five Guys and I'm like, this is great.
I'm going to hate myself, you know, but this is great.
(12:05):
I love Five Guys, but Jesus Christ.
Is there beef made out of fucking gold?
Like, yeah, that shit's expensive.
Dude.
Holy shit.
That's why it's a rare treat.
Good God.
I'm going to throw this at you guys and you can be judgmental if you wish.
Number one for breakfast.
Motherfucking Wendy's.
Right off the bat.
Wendy's.
Do it.
Still best burger on the planet.
(12:27):
Whopper.
Burger King, motherfucking Whopper.
Still made out of meat.
I agree.
I don't know that I've ever actually tried it.
And if you are non, if you're a vegetarian, the, what is it?
Impossible Whopper.
They're plant-based.
Tastes like a motherfucking Whopper.
It is just as good as the beef.
So you could, so vegetarians and vegans can enjoy that with confidence.
(12:48):
See, I woke up this morning and I was hungry as a hostage.
I've never fucking heard that before.
I have heard that, but it's been a hot minute since I've heard that.
Oh my God.
Just know that I was.
Let that paint a fucking picture for you.
Hey, no offense to any hostages out there.
Starving like Marvin.
Yeah.
None below for you, but here's the thing.
(13:09):
So I busted out four of these beautiful eggs, fresh cheese on that.
Cook that shit up.
Throw some bacon in the air fryer.
That's the way to go.
Fried up the bacon, the thick shit, not that thin crap.
And then took three tortillas and put them together in a microwave
and sort of soft them up.
Piled all that shit in these tortillas with some fucking hot sauce.
(13:30):
On that, bro.
That was breakfast this morning.
Don't a Taco Bell, a Taco Bell ish.
But it was, it was for fat people.
I fucked that shit.
I'm trying to please wait.
Damn it.
My inner fat kid is a, now I'm hungry.
First year I was here in Nashville.
They do this thing every year called the Americana Festival, where it's
(13:52):
a whole bunch of really great bands get together and Americana, which
is kind of like country, kind of not like country, whatever.
Billy Bob Thornton, the actor has had a band for a long time called
the Boxmasters and they're like rock country retro.
I mean, it's a really cool band.
Billy Bob plays the drums and he sings.
Rockabilly.
Yeah, rockabilly.
Yeah.
So one of the shows that night was at the Cannery Ballroom, which
(14:14):
the place is brick.
So the sound in there bounces off the walls like rubber balls, right?
So Billy Bob's getting ready to come out and there's this fucking
bachelorette party fucking comes blowing through and that's, oh my God.
And in Nashville, we call them the fucking woo girls.
Okay.
They'll walk into a bar and you're trying to, you're trying to watch
(14:35):
a band and they're just wooing it up.
And so this bachelorette party makes its way to the front of the
fucking stage to see Billy Bob.
Right.
So he starts his show and his band is really good.
He's super talented dude.
Right.
About three, four songs into it, Billy Bob looks down at one of the women
there and I guess they were complaining that they couldn't hear his voice.
And he's like, move back and you'll be able to hear me.
(14:56):
Well, they, they weren't moving back.
They were dead set.
They had to be right where they were.
Couple of songs later, Billy Bob after song.
He goes, look, I done told you fuckers to step the fuck back.
If you can't fucking hear me.
He said, if you think front center is the best place to watch and hear a
band, he goes, move the fuck back.
Like he was like not having it anymore.
He was done, but they kept saying, we can't hear you.
We can't hear you.
(15:17):
Woo.
We can't hear you.
He's like, fuck you.
He's like fucking move back about 20 feet.
Billy Bob Thornton is the motherfucking guy.
And if you guys have not seen his new show called land man, man.
Oh my God.
I haven't seen it.
You've got to watch it.
Just start at the beginning.
Yeah.
That character that he plays in that is a very sharp tongue.
Smart guy.
(15:38):
It's really a fun show to watch, especially with a personality like Billy Bob Thornton.
And I think after all these years of watching his movies and this really showcases.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
It's true talent.
You know, okay.
I'll give it a chance before the show Billy Bob and his band.
And it's only three of them.
It's a, it's a three piece band.
They were at a record store here in Nashville called Grimey's.
So they were doing a meet and greet and then they were doing an acoustic set after the
(16:02):
meet and greet.
So there was a line to see Billy Bob and he wasn't charging for it.
It was free.
The guy in front of me in line wasn't there for his music.
He was there to meet Billy Bob the actor.
So he had like DVD insert covers for him to fuck.
It's like he had like 10 of them.
Right.
And Billy Bob wasn't there for his movies.
He was promoting his band.
Right.
So this guy took it upon himself.
I'm going to meet the actor.
Right.
So Billy Bob signed every single one of them.
(16:23):
He was gracious.
He did it.
Right.
I come up Billy Bob said, hey, how you doing, man?
I said, I think the previous guy missed one.
He goes, which one did he miss?
I said, Tombstone.
He goes, oh my God.
Billy Bob Thornton is in the movie Tombstone, but only for about five minutes.
I was going to say he is.
His five minutes is memorable.
He's the guy that Kurt Russell slaps in the face.
Oh shit.
You're going to do something.
(16:44):
You're just going to stand there and bleed.
He said, man, that was a fun movie.
And so then I had Billy Bob's CD or the band's CD, and then they all signed the box.
And he's like, hey, are you going to the show later tonight?
I'm like, yeah.
He said, well, he said, stick around.
We're going to do an acoustic set here at Grimey's.
Super cool dude.
But I will tell you this.
He looks larger than life on screen.
He's maybe 5'9".
Really?
(17:04):
If that.
Man, I shook his hand, and it was like, I have big hands, obviously.
He always looks like he's like close to six foot.
No.
Really?
No, no, no, no.
Wow.
During the show, he did a fucking drum solo.
I was like, what the fuck?
Really?
Like, you just don't see that coming.
For most of the show, he was just standing up front.
He was the singer.
So he has a regular drummer.
But at one part in the show, he'll get behind that drum kit.
(17:26):
And he, oh my god.
I was like, really?
Incredible.
Yeah.
One of the songs is called Honey, I'm Watching the Game.
And the song is about exactly what the title says.
This guy is sitting there trying to watch a baseball game, and his wife is just nagging the fuck out of him.
And that's what the song is about.
Honey, I'm watching the game.
(17:46):
And it is classic Billy Bob.
And then at the end of the song, he's like, honey, can you make me a sandwich, please?
Classic.
What the hell?
There we go.
There we go.
Fantastic.
What the fuck?
What the fuck?
That's not my range.
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