Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
right at like tit level for me.
(00:02):
It's so big.
I have five, six for reference.
Did you just say tit level?
I did.
It's a unit of measure.
Tit level.
Tit level.
I'm going to giggle at that for the rest of the day.
Thank you, Samantha.
You're welcome.
We want to have a job sometimes or not.
He didn't say blow job.
Listen, I'll take what I can get at this point.
Job's a job, man.
20 bucks is 20 bucks.
(00:23):
So are you going to survive over there?
That's what you get for smoking that f**king skunk away, girlfriend.
Stop f**king with that cheap s**t.
Remember, I'm the f**king guy that still has a job at a**.
Rude a**.
Well, that explains his f**king attitude then.
City of brotherly f**king love my a**.
(00:43):
Hookers and blow and all, whatever.
I didn't do that.
The hooker part I did.
That was fun.
Oh s**t.
That was fun.
Come on in and lay down on my couch and tell Jake what you're doing.
I'm Jake Jacobs and you're listening to What the F**k.
(01:04):
Welcome to Sunday Therapy with Samantha, Don and Jake.
Don, have you ever seen the show Supernatural?
Do you know what we're speaking of?
I do not think so.
It's a fictional show and it's these two brothers and they hunt demons and ghosts.
And it's their family legacy.
Spooky Spookies of the Night.
This show is written with a lot of sarcasm, with a lot of humor and some really cool
f**king rock music, classic rock.
The entire playlist for all, what, 16, 17 seasons is so good.
(01:28):
Like their main theme song is Kansas.
Yeah, Carry On Wayward Son.
Oh s**t.
And that's where I'm going with this.
This is a What the F**k.
Anyone who has watched this show knows that the season finale, you're going to hear
Carry On Wayward Son by Kansas, right?
Unless you're currently watching it on Netflix right now, because whoever the
(01:49):
stupid mother f**ker was that did the licensing for the music for the show when it first
aired, it didn't carry over to streaming.
So none of that f**king music is in the episodes now as it streams.
Oh no.
Like that was a thing.
The season finale, you're going to hear and not just a snippet of it, the whole
f**king song.
(02:10):
Like I remember watching it early on.
It was like an early season.
It was like season two.
I'd never seen it before.
And I'm watching this and you see this bad ass car.
He calls baby.
It's a black Chevelle or I don't know what kind of car it is.
And the first thing you hear is Back in Black by ACDC.
I'm like, what the f**k is this?
But if you watch it now, if you've never seen it before, you wouldn't know that
because the music licensing is gone.
(02:30):
Yeah.
Music is my spirituality.
So I decided it would be a great f**king idea to f**k with that and go to audio
engineering school where you learn how to record a band and you learn how to produce
a song or an album.
And going into that blindly, well, not blindly, I mean, I kind of had an idea.
But when you're the producer, when you're making that piece of music, you hear that
(02:53):
song so many times laid back that by the time you're done with it, you literally
just have to divorce yourself from it.
Like if I never hear that f**king song again, it will be too soon.
So in the old days, when we listen to those good records, right, a lot of those
were done as a performance.
They didn't have the capability to multitrack like we do today.
(03:14):
So pretty much they recorded as a band.
It was a vibe.
It was a feeling.
And that's what you're hearing these days.
You record the drums first or you record the bass first.
Right.
And it's layered.
Like it's rare that the whole band is ever in there all at the same time to make
the record.
Right.
And then when you start going through and editing it and tuning the vocal, and it's
a process that by the time you're done with it, I don't want to hear that f**king
(03:36):
song again for as long as I live.
You can move and manipulate things and timing, tempo, timing,
tempo, you know, a certain amount of vocal tuning in the mix.
Yeah.
You know, when somebody doesn't quite reach, you know, when they, when they
reach an H instead of a G.
By the time it's ready for the vocal, that singer will go into the studio.
(03:59):
They'll put their headphones on.
They'll get warmed up, do whatever they got to do.
They'll sing the song once.
They'll sing it twice.
They'll sing it a third time after that third time, unless they f**ked something
up in any part of those songs where they.
It splints all three of those together.
So then they'll tell the singer, okay, you're good.
You can go home.
We're done.
Then the engineer, me, will go through each of those three takes and because
(04:19):
everything is done on a grid, we can cut and paste and get one perfect
take out of those three takes.
So the singer can be like, oh, I can do it again.
I just give me one more take that they're like, no, in Nashville, time is money.
Three takes, you're out.
And unless you f**k up the same exact spot in the song three times, but
normally most people don't do that.
All right.
So I've got a crazy what the f**k for this week.
(04:41):
Nice.
Oh, here we go.
All right, so last week when I came in to record with you gentlemen, it was.
Hey, hey, hey, what's up?
What's up with the name calling?
This hurts my feelings.
You're ridiculous.
I came into the recording session with something that at the time I did not
know was going to be a what the f**k moment the night before I'd gone to
(05:03):
bed, which I have cameras up all over my house, like security and stuff like that.
There's one in my office, one in my bedroom, one in my living room,
kitchen, and on my doorbell.
The last time that my cameras triggered that night before was at 11 56, when I
walked out of the bathroom to go into my room to go to bed for the night and did
not trigger again until seven o'clock that morning when I got up and I checked
(05:24):
the cameras that night and saw that what was there was not there at the time.
I had woken up in the way that my house is built.
There's my bedroom and the office I go into as a Jack and Jill
bedroom kind of situation.
I just made one of them an office.
So where the doors meet on the Jack and Jill, there's like a little area
before you get into the hallway.
(05:44):
There was a white trash bag full of clothes that was ripped open sitting
directly in my path of being able to walk anywhere.
And initially I had thought, oh, my daughter must've found this bag of
clothes stuck it here and just was like gonna say something about it in the
morning when we both woke up, didn't think anything of it, moved it off to
the side, whatever.
I go talk to her after she wakes up and I'm like, Hey, did you find a bag of
(06:06):
my clothes or something?
Like I hadn't looked in the bag to see what was in the bag yet.
I knew it was clothes, but I didn't know what clothes it was.
She's like, no, what are you talking about?
And I'm like, what do you mean?
What are you talking about where they were located?
I would have had to have trip over them to get past them.
Like it wasn't off to the side.
Like it was in the direct path of me leaving my room in any direction.
I may be an ADHD clutter monster, but I know what I have and where things are.
(06:30):
Yeah.
Yeah.
So then I finally grabbed the bag and opened it up and started looking through
it and I'm like, these are not my clothes.
These are not my clothes.
And I know they're not hers, but most of them are like workout clothes.
And I'm like, this is weird.
And then I started looking and pull out one shirt from some company called
like simply comfort and it has Virginia on it.
And I'm like, okay, that's super fucking weird.
(06:50):
And then I pull out another shirt and it says topsell Island on it.
And I'm like, I know I've never bought this from like a tourist trap.
Like this is top sale Island.
Yeah.
Which is right by me.
Okay.
There's no hole in my ceiling, nothing.
Cause there is an attic and I'm like, where the fuck did this come from?
I go to check my cameras.
I see nothing on my cameras bag was not there when I walked into my room that
(07:11):
night, but it was there when I woke up and walked into the office to get set up
for recording come to find out my neighbor.
I called her later that day after we had the realization that this didn't belong
to either one of us and neither one of us put it there.
And I said, Hey girl, can you check your camera on the front of your house on
your ring doorbell to see if there was any movement in our front yards?
Just out of curiosity.
(07:33):
And she was like, yeah, sure.
Is everything okay?
Are you guys okay?
What's going on?
And I was like, I'll tell you in a second, just nothing bad.
Like it's we're, we're okay.
We're fine.
She checked.
She goes, no, there's, I don't see any movement.
There's nothing here.
And I said, okay, have you all, or the neighbors that have lived here before me
ever had any weird paranormal activity going on over here?
(07:53):
And she was like, Oh yeah, girl.
All the time.
And I was like, what the fuck?
Why wouldn't you warn me?
And she was like, Oh, she's like, cause it hasn't happened in a while.
So I hadn't thought about it.
She's like, my husband and I like, we'll hear a man and a woman talking all the
time in our front room and people that have lived there before you've said that
they've heard and seen stuff too.
(08:13):
And I was like, great, great, great, great, great.
So cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.
I was like, so what?
She's like, what is going on?
I was like, okay.
And then I just explained to her the whole situation.
She was like, we think it's the old couple that used to live there because
they lived there for like 50 years.
They were in their nineties when they passed away and their sleep and
(08:34):
everything like that.
So like, we think it's just them because it's never been anything malicious.
It's not like they're fighting.
It's, it's just them having a conversation.
It's never been anything malicious than anybody's experience.
It's always just been either they don't really want to scare you or they don't
know how this whole haunting thing works.
They just leave a bag of clothes.
Right.
Yeah.
So, cause a couple of months ago, we'd had like a thing where like my daughter
came into my room and was like, mom, it feels like somebody just like pushed my
(08:57):
hair back and then like right after that, I, I heard the sound of a large heavy
box hit the ground in the house, but there was no large heavy box that hit the
ground.
No, no, no, no, no.
And so we staged the house at the time.
So then this happened again.
And I'm like, okay, you know, based on what she said and what we've experienced,
only conclusion I can come to is that because my life has changed new year, new
(09:18):
mean, new job, new, new, everything.
These ghosts are looking at me as like a granddaughter figure and are like,
girl, we see you doing things here.
Here's some workout clothes.
We want the best for you, girl.
Get out there, work that booty.
I got motivational ghosts now.
So paranormal advice.
Yeah.
So let me ask you this.
Is the bag of clothes still there?
(09:38):
I took all the clothes out and I washed them all.
And so they fit you.
Most of them do fit me.
Yeah.
Cause here's a question I've always had, and I'm a big fan of paranormal activity.
I believe in that stuff.
And this is my first time experiencing it.
This is crazy.
Yeah.
I've got some experiences in my life that are un fucking explainable.
You know, it's always been ghost had been associated with this white, like
(09:59):
white sheet, right?
So it's like, why don't they just leave you a bag of white sheets with the eyes
cut out so you can, you know, in a white bag, that would really be stone cold
tripping.
Yeah.
My dad goes, did you maybe get it from somewhere?
I was like, dad, I would have tripped cameras moving around the house.
I was like, even if somebody were living in my attic, they would have tripped
(10:20):
cameras because the way that my office camera is facing it is directly into the
little hallway where the access point is for the attic.
So if somebody were be pooping in and out of my attic, it would have triggered a
camera.
So I'm like, no, he's like, well, what about like the woman who helped you
like find the house and rent the house?
Like, could she have possibly like had a key and gotten in?
I said, no, she was not my realtor.
(10:40):
She was just a nice woman who happened to like hear the plight of a single
parent looking for a house frantically and helped me out.
She wasn't like my realtor per se.
And I was like, and no, I was again, she would have tripped at least three
different cameras getting to the point of where this bag was.
Do all those cameras also record audio?
Yes.
See the audio engineer in me would pull up that footage and listen to see if I
(11:01):
could hear shit.
Supposedly they leave the prints behind on digital audio that are easy to spot.
I know.
And so, you know, Melissa and I bought this house in St. Augustine.
It's like fucking Fort Knox here.
We've got cameras.
I mean, a full on mac dadified camera system.
I didn't put the shit in because I ain't that afraid of anybody, but whoever the
owners of the house prior to us, apparently they were.
(11:22):
So I've got nine cameras.
And these are, these are fucking a night vision, the whole gig.
I mean, I've got a big giant monitor with eight cameras on there.
And then I have a ninth camera that goes around to all my echo dots, my Alexa.
So I've got the screens on all of them.
Oh, remind me to never try to break into your fucking house.
Don never don't do that.
And then we have no surprise parties for Don.
(11:43):
No, there'll be no surprises for me.
But the thing is I don't look at the video.
I mean, I see it on there live.
There's a DVR that records all this shit.
I don't know how to use any of it, but I will watch it.
I walk around the house, you know, with my garbage hanging out.
I don't give a fuck.
It's my house.
And I'm wondering if the people that owned it before have it going into their phone.
And so every night they see it.
(12:05):
They're like, oh, Don's got a schlong out.
There's a YouTube channel right now called The Don.
The Don live and in your face.
And it's probably viral right now.
I hope it is.
Are you drinking death water?
I am drinking liquid death, specifically dead, dead billionaire, which came out
right after the Titan submersible explosion.
Nice.
(12:25):
I like that.
That's good because there's a certain amount of stupidity that needs to be
punishable by death and publicly displayed.
Yeah, liquid death has no chill and it's fantastic.
I mean, that was that was definitely one of them.
That was insane.
The one thing money does not exempt your ass from is stupidity.
Crushed by the by the ocean.
(12:46):
So so the the saga continues and a largely what the fuck.
Oh, really? And I love we got to hear this.
It's so good.
You know, we talked a few weeks ago about some acquisitions for made some at the
corporate level, some people bought some shits, people sold some shit.
People got fired.
People got fired.
People got fucking high.
(13:06):
Anyway, this guy fired another manager, one of the nicest fucking guys you ever
want to meet. He run a lot of business up and down the coast and was losing a lot
of business, but but it wasn't his fault.
This guy is just a genuine article, just sweet hearted guy.
As it turned out that, you know, we're losing that business because of pricing
and lack of leadership from the top.
This was pre done.
(13:26):
And you were hired to provide.
Yeah, I mean, I was the number two guy in the company.
So I start getting calls Friday from one of the sales directors.
Just past Friday, like two days.
Friday, like fucking two days ago.
They fired this guy.
He calls me and it's like all the other folks that were the clients out there that
this one manager had built up all these relationships with, some of which he has
(13:48):
known since high school, they're all pulling the fucking plug on this company
and going to him and so on.
And then it just got fucking weirder from there.
I get a phone call from one of the former company presidents.
He calls me.
Hey, dude, I've never met this guy in my life.
So I got all these people calling me, but I wasn't a good fit for the company.
So but in three months time, I garnished enough respect to have all these fucking
(14:09):
people calling me going, yeah, we're out of here.
This is dumb.
This guy's going to tank this fucking company.
And just because he thinks he's Mr.
Cool guy, you just don't treat people like shit.
And then expect Carmen to come fucking kick your ass on the episode where we were.
You got your 90 day review.
Samantha said it's hard to save a ship that's actively sinking.
And at that point, Don responded with it is actively sinking.
So now is it still sinking or is it partially submerged?
(14:32):
Oh, God damn, dude, it's I'm pretty sure the people that were working so hard to
bail the water out of it are now reaching out and bailing it into the hole.
Let's think this bitch faster.
It's oh, oh, shit.
Oh, yeah, yeah, it's it's it's turned around.
It's like, listen, man, you can't just go firing fucking people.
So let me ask you this.
When you were hired on initially, prior to you being hired on initially,
(14:54):
was there another wave of firings that precipitated you being so does he do this
like every 90 days or something?
No, no, no.
This is not something that takes place.
I mean, people come and go and come.
Yeah, yeah.
But no, I was hired on because CEOs have a lot on their plate.
In this case, he was doing the CEO job.
(15:16):
He was doing all this shit.
He's an accountant.
He's got a good track record of making money.
Well, he's in over his fucking head because he doesn't know what he's doing here.
Thinks he does.
That's the problem.
Thinks he knows he's doing.
He fucking doesn't.
And he treats people like commodities.
And we're not commodities.
And some of us are smarter than the average bear.
And he doesn't realize that he had surrounded himself by a really sharp team.
(15:38):
They just didn't operate like him.
So they won't.
Yeah, the motherfucker is going to learn.
I assure you.
And I hope he listens to that company potentially has to liquidate.
Yeah, I'm sure.
I don't think it's going to put the whole company out of business.
I certainly don't wish for that.
I don't give a shit about this guy.
He can go fuck himself.
And he's going to be fine.
He's got plenty of money.
I assure you.
The picture I get painted.
(15:59):
I don't know the guy.
He's a Duke grad.
He ran his family business for a long time.
He probably grew up with a silver spoon in his mouth.
I don't know the answer to that.
Really don't care.
That's just the picture I get painted.
Definitely narcissistic prick.
And he's a micromanager.
He does everything's got to be done his way.
But anyway, it's kind of funny.
And my phone started ringing off the hook and I was just kind of gig.
I was like, wow, I was in this company three months.
(16:20):
They're running a bad business and it's about to come back and buy them in the ass.
And I don't even they don't see it coming.
I mean, it's probably already starting to.
And they're just not paying attention.
It's going to.
I assure you.
And it's going to it's going to start happening real fast in the next 30 days.
I can't wait to report on that.
In any case, when you run a business like this, too, you got to really give a shit
(16:41):
about the people working there.
Yeah.
So what this guy's done is just amazing to me.
Just unprofessional.
Thinks he has it on lockdown and the fucking customers don't like him.
So, yeah, he didn't.
He has no idea.
So that was a pretty interesting what the fuck for this week.
But it made me giggle a lot, Samantha.
I bet.
(17:02):
Be like, ah, vindication.
Yeah, kind of.