December 11, 2024 • 19 mins
Pilot Episode! I talk to one of my co-workers about a variety of WTF moments! Enjoy! Email me at wtfpodcast24@gmail.com, and tell me Your best WTF moments, or tell me if you'd like to be on the show!
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Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
I believe I forgot this because I tell this oh hello cat hold on
(00:04):
Where did you come from sorry interrupt us girl?
Like go like go like go so sorry editing that out
I'm Jake Jacobs, and you're listening to what the fuck?
(00:29):
First guest is Samantha and Samantha is one of my colleagues with the job that we do there's a lot of material to choose from
But it's not going to be just about work if you've listened to the intro anything that happens in everyday life
Anything that could make you even think or utter either under your breath or out loud this phrase
What the fuck is what we're talking about Samantha welcome to the show. Hi. Thanks for having me. Are you very welcome?
(00:53):
You've heard the intro would think of the format of the show
I mean
It's definitely something that intrigues me and I'm interested in because I deal with it on a daily basis
Both like you said with our with our line of work. I also have a teenager so between the two
There's a lot of what the fuck moments that happen on a daily basis
And understand I was watching the football game last night that I'm not a Chiefs fan
(01:16):
So that there was there was plenty of what the fuck moments for me, so
Yeah, yeah, they've barely been squeaking by this whole season, but yet they're still winning so yeah, we'll see
So I think the best way to kick this off and and no pressure by the way you are the first
Guest on this show my first podcast as well. So breaking barriers today. Let
(01:42):
Me ask you this when was the last time you said it and how did you say it?
Was it a question was it said an exasperation like give me the context. It was probably honestly yesterday with my teenager
While we were out shopping she decided that she was going to wander off in the store and come back and
For context she's only 14 and so she wandered. I mean I say only 14
(02:07):
I mean she I let her wander sometimes
But no she wanders off comes back and is bringing me clothes that she wants to buy that I'm like
All right, you're 14. You're you're wanting me to buy you crop tops and mini skirts. I'm like sis
You're not 18. I said when you're 18 you can buy this you can wear this whatever and
She'll sit there and be like but mom the other kids in school wear this I said in what world
(02:30):
Are there other parents letting their teenage children wear stuff like this?
Conscious I'm like when I was younger trust me
I used to wear this kind of stuff behind my parents back
But that's cuz I would get it from my friends or whatever. I was like, but no I was like what the fuck I'm like you
What the fuck? No, you're not you're not wearing this kind of stuff at 14 years old
(02:51):
So when you said it or when you thought it or however, it came out it was a question. Yes
Yeah, probably more like a question. Yeah
Always trying to push the boundaries. She thinks she's older than she is. Yeah. Well teenagers will do that to you
Thank God. I don't have teenagers anymore. But uh, so that's a good one for me
The last time I said it was actually this morning when I woke up knowing that I was going to be doing this podcast with you
(03:14):
This morning. I woke up with a little bit of a scratchy throat a little bit of congestion there
So my first thought I didn't say it but my first thought was what the fuck?
No, be like the day of
Like seriously this day just my luck
It was kind of like in context when when something happens and maybe sometimes instead of saying what the fuck you're like really
(03:34):
Which kind of has the same context, you know, it's like a rated G version of saying it
Yeah, it just feels like what the fuck is it more like it's universal because of how versatile the word in and of itself is
But like yeah, it definitely can be replaced so many different things in so many different contexts that it's like it's so wild
That it can be utilized so frequently for so many attributes that it goes towards
(03:57):
So I just I recently got a tattoo and I was like the whole time
I think it took maybe 10 15 20 minutes most for the tattoo because it's just a small one
And like I'm sitting there talking to her as she's doing it and she goes, okay, I'm done. I'm like you started
What? Right?
We're done. What the fuck?
How was that so quick and literally painless like it's up on my shoulder blade and I was like, oh
(04:20):
Wow, I don't remember them being this not painful because I've got like with this one now
I think 11 or 12 tattoos and most of them are from the waist down because for the longest time
I was under the delusion that I was going to get some type of high-ranking corporate job and
Couldn't have anything showing and I was like, yeah, that's never gonna happen
So I don't care anymore, but the ones in the bottom half, they weren't that bad
But I just I was like, wow, everybody says like your shoulder because it's like on the bone and everything
(04:43):
They're like, oh, it's gonna hurt so bad. I'm like I felt nothing
Literally nothing. So I was like, well now I want another one
They're addicting yeah, they are I have a few so I and I know the the worst one for me was I have one
On my chest the other ones I had weren't that bad. I'm like everyone always says all tattoos don't hurt
Well, I was one of those people that said that until I got this one and the closer he got to my armpit
(05:07):
I was going out of my mind. Like it was that hurt. I was like what the fuck
This is not supposed to be painful. Like this goes against everything that I was saying before I came here today
Well, he was doing the outline and just in black when he got the outline done
I'm like dude, I need to step out there. Then there was a bar next door
I'm like I need to go have a shot. He goes no, no, no, I'm not doing that
(05:28):
He said I don't tattoo people that have been drinking or in the process of drinking should bleed more
Yeah, he said if you need a break, you know, go out smoke a cigarette. It was back when I smoked cigarettes
He's like, you know, we'll go out. We'll have a smoke. He said but I know no alcohol
I'm like what the fuck is going on?
I'm like no no alcohol. I'm like what the fuck dude, seriously?
Because you still got to get to the shading and the shading is the worst part
(05:48):
Well, yeah, the shading needles have more it's not just one needle now. It's like multiple needles in there
So nowadays they have ones that have like upwards of like 20 needles in them too
Like if you're doing a real big piece, yeah, and I'm like
The second question I would ask you is what was your funniest?
What the fuck moment if you had to pick one funniest what the fuck moment I had was when I worked at our
(06:10):
We had a restaurant when I was in high school and just out of high school for a couple years before the 2007 recession hit and we
Unfortunately had to shut down but it was a seafood restaurant. My whole family is like in the seafood industry
so like they're on my dad's side, so it's it's big in our family and
Back when I was probably like 19 or 20 we had a customer come in
(06:32):
It was him wife and I want to say six kids
So it was eight of them and the way that our restaurant worked is we had an automatic gratuity for parties of eight and over
Okay, and so whether they are tiny humans or full grown humans. Yeah, eight is eight
so
The whole time i'm serving them they're doing because they came in during happy hour
(06:53):
They're ordering all this happy hour stuff like shrimp whatever blah blah. I am literally material like we weren't that busy
So I was like materializing this as quickly as humanly possible like because we weren't that busy
Getting him all the stuff getting the kids meals getting drinks blah blah blah, whatever
They get the check and they're like, why is this gratuity?
And i'm like I explained this to y'all at the beginning of this interaction. Don't even ask me why there's on there
(07:15):
You know why it's on there exactly
And so he starts bitch moaning complaining about it
And the wife goes to take the kids out to the car. He does eventually pay but then they leave
But then he walks back in and he goes, you know what? No, I want to talk to your manager. I said
I bet because my father's my manager because he's the owner. So i'm like, but he doesn't know that so i'm like, okay
(07:38):
So I go get my dad and i'm like, hey dad. I was like, here's the deal
I was literally like if I could have star trek beam me up this food to their table any faster
I would have but literally it was like put the order in it came up within like two minutes and it was out of the table
I promise you
Shit was going out quick, right?
So he's like, all right, I got this so we both go out and stand there and i'm standing next to my father like
(08:02):
Here's the manager
And so he's talking to my dad and he's like she was horrible
Service was horrible food was not coming out fast enough drinks were not coming out fast enough
Just bitch moaning complaining typical care in the world from this man
Or in the early 2000s. Um, and so he's sitting there. He's like, what are you gonna do about it? He goes
(08:24):
well, I
Personally was walking the floor and I did not see the same thing that you're describing to me now
Well, I want her fired and he goes, oh you want me to fire my daughter and this man's eyes bugged out of his brain
and he was like
I'm gonna report you to the better business bureau and then my dad goes
(08:44):
I'm gonna report you to the better people bureau get out of my restaurant
And I just thought it was the funniest fucking thing on the face of the earth and I was like
And then we both high-fived and I was like, thanks dad. Love you
Oh my god, just like he was like get out of my restaurant or i'm gonna have you trespassed and he was like
My father he was he was a karen slash ken before that was even a thing
(09:09):
You know, it's so funny. My father's name is ken. So I find it absolutely hilarious. No, no, I find it hilarious
But yeah, no it yeah, he was or kevin or whatever the whatever the meal. Yeah
He was kerning before kerning was a thing. I'm just sick burn dad
That really does need to be a thing the better people bureau, right?
Like what if it isn't a thing then then somebody needs to start it?
(09:32):
That's yeah, that's that's probably my favorite what the fuck moment of my life is my father telling some random man
Because he had to put eight percent gratuity on happy hour, which was already discounted anyways
um
And then he was gonna call the better people bureau on him
Just tumor
You know, I don't think everything that my father told 就是我才有 因為我 Nah it's not like i'm so dependent on thealand
(09:56):
So when he did this is my father spent his entire life trying to beIA
Children isn't a matter of name nor apt Dave you you don't want people looking that way
You know um
I need you all know Danielle you know
It's all important one another
You don't try to continue that
Facebook. And I'm like, well, you know, what do you mean?
(10:19):
Keep in mind, number one, I don't work for Facebook.
Okay. I have an idea where this is going. Okay.
Let's just get that out of the way.
You're like, I don't work for Facebook.
You don't work for Metta. Yeah. Try to call Metta or Facebook and tell me how that
goes for you. But anyway, she says, I'm getting regular notifications by Newsfeed.
(10:39):
Everything is looking good, but I haven't gotten very many happy birthdays on my
timeline. Yeah. I literally had to mute my headset because I don't know if I said
it out loud, but I know I thought, what the fuck? Right. So when I regained...
(11:00):
Let me hold your hand when I tell you.
When I regained composure, I'm like...
It's not Facebook.
I said, ma'am, you are getting other things on your timeline. Like any normal day,
you're seeing things that are popping up like memes and stuff like that.
She said, yeah, everything looks good.
She said, I just don't think I'm getting the amount of birthday wishes that I
normally get.
Oh, no. You need to sit down and really take a look at your life, see how you
(11:24):
treat people. That should answer why you're not getting as many as you normally
do. How would how do you act this past year?
Yeah. Well, I said, are you getting any?
She goes, yeah, I've gotten a few, just not as many as I normally would.
Or as I'm not getting as many as I think I should.
I don't know exactly how she said it, but it was like so...
What a wild thing to say.
Like you should never assume that you're just going to get every one of your
(11:47):
God knows how many friends to say happy birthday on your birthday every year.
Right.
Like if I get birthday wishes on my Facebook, which I seldom check anyways,
honestly, I'm just like, oh, people still know about me?
Cool. People remember me?
Oh, thanks, guys.
Like, I don't expect it.
Good Lord.
(12:08):
We call it Facebook, be like, I'm sorry, can you please send a notice out to all
of my friends list and be like, why are you not messaging your best friend in the
whole world? It's her birthday.
Like, come on now. And it's truly what the fuck?
Yeah.
God, did that woman ever listen to this and be like, that sounds awfully familiar.
I know.
We didn't say your name.
I didn't say your name.
Unless you told anybody, nobody's going to know it's you either.
(12:31):
Yeah.
The company that I worked for before the company,
you and I work for now, I was doing tech support and I had a caller.
I don't remember what her issue was with her device, but she made a point to tell
me that she was in the adult film industry and she proceeded to give me the
(12:54):
link to her website where I could, you know, then, you know, that's subscribe,
subscribe.
And that was a well, you know what?
I think I might have said that my first thought was, was probably, you know,
my first thought was, was probably seriously.
But that could be loosely translated to what the fuck?
I mean, they're kind of professional setting.
(13:15):
What the fuck?
So I, I fixed her issue.
I don't like I said, I don't remember what it was, but I fixed it.
And then when I got home that night, I may or may not have went to the website
and checked it out, but I'll just leave that to your imagination.
But like, uh, I mean, now I'm slightly curious to just be like, maybe I'll check
it out.
And you check it out and you're like, all right.
Yeah.
(13:36):
Yeah.
That's too funny.
So here's a, here's a food related.
What the fuck?
When I was in the Navy, at one point I was stationed down in Texas.
I started having sinus issues and I went to the, to the VA.
Well, it wasn't the VA hospital.
I had to go to the, the air force hospital in San Antonio, which is where the
air force bootcamp is.
(13:57):
So I was at Wolford hall medical center and they did, they were doing some
testing and they, they told me that I had a deviated septum, fancy way of saying
that you have a broken nose basically.
So they're like, well, there's a couple of things we can do.
We can give you a mouthpiece to wear at night.
I'm like, that's not going to work.
Cause I just, I wouldn't be able to do that.
They're like, well, we can do that.
We can do a surgery.
We can fix your deviated septum.
(14:18):
It's very minor.
You know, I'm like, let's do it.
All right.
Give me a sweet rhinoplasty.
No show.
So it was, it was a rhinoplasty.
And so they, they did it.
They, I don't know for people that have ever had this before, but when they
did, well, at least for me, what they did, they, they filled the, the sinus cavities
on either side of your nose with these little balloons for lack of a better word.
Right.
And I had, they had to stay in for, I think a week.
(14:41):
So for a week, I was completely congested more than I am now, but no taste kind of
like with COVID you couldn't taste shit.
Right.
So I'm eating, but it's not really like eating for sustenance.
Like I, I really, I'm eating to make sure I don't pass away from like hunger.
Exactly.
So in Texas, there's this burger chain called Water Burger is like Burger King
(15:03):
everywhere else.
Yeah.
I've heard of it.
I've just never been to one.
It was my favorite burger place down there.
And I went in a week later to get these balloons ripped out of my nose, which was an experience
of itself.
And I think I might've at least thought what the fuck as they were pulling them out of
my nasal cavities.
But here's where I was going with this.
When they pulled it out, my, my smelling was like, I swear to God, I could smell like
(15:27):
a dog.
I was still inside the hospital and I could smell the pizza hut down the road.
I could smell the water burger.
I could smell any restaurant that was within like a three mile radius.
I could smell it.
You're like, did y'all give me spidey senses?
Like what the heck?
And I was hungry and I finished up and I walked out.
I'm like, okay, this is perfect time.
It's lunchtime.
I'm going to go to water burger.
(15:48):
And I ordered a double with cheese.
Like, it's like a double whopper with cheese.
And I was like salivating at this point, like this, oh man, this is going to be so fucking
good.
And then I bit into it and I spit it immediately out.
It's like my sense of smell was hyper.
Like to the point that it was like over analyzing whatever it was smelling and tasting.
And it was like, and then the taste of the burger, I was like, what the fuck is this?
(16:10):
Like this was, it wasn't matching up.
Like the taste wasn't matching up with the smell and my brain was all kind of all weird.
So I just like, I didn't, I wasn't a Karen.
I wasn't, you know, saying there's something wrong with the burger.
I knew it was me.
I mean, so I would, I had enough self.
It was like your senses were overloaded and it was like just too much.
And it was like, no, no, no, this is too much, too much.
(16:31):
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I wasted, well, this was back in the nineties.
So I probably wasted like five bucks on a, you know, value mail, whatever.
But so, so one last thing, and we're going to wrap this up.
I just happened to have Safari pulled up and there's this news piece that's going on that
one of my friends brought to my attention about the New Jersey drones.
Have you heard about this?
(16:53):
No.
So supposedly, I guess since before Thanksgiving or something, there's been a shitload of drones
flying around various parts of New Jersey, close to a property that Trump owns, his golf course
or one of his golf courses or something.
But people taking videos of these drones, some of them are supposedly car sized drones
and the FBI is investigating that this shit's getting wild.
(17:15):
It's like Twilight Zone shit, right?
So I'm sitting here.
Okay.
So I have CBS News, NBC News, Newsweek, New York Post, the different news agencies reporting
about this, right?
Right.
And I clicked on, I'm not going to say which one I clicked on.
You'll just have to figure that out for yourself.
But I clicked on one and it had supposedly a video of one of these things crashing, not
(17:41):
of the crash itself, but of like burning debris on a road.
Right.
You know, so that was.
Was it a Tesla?
Is that why it was cleaned up so fast?
I don't know.
I mean, if Tesla's crashed, they're cleaned up within like two minutes.
Of course they are.
Yeah.
Yeah, of course they are.
God forbid.
The same article goes on to say, well, these drone recordings have been constant since
before Thanksgiving and you know, blah, blah, blah.
(18:04):
And then they said, except for Thanksgiving Day.
Thanksgiving Day, these motherfuckers took a break.
Right.
They're like, we've got to eat our turkey and then we're back on it the next day.
I was going to say, I'm actually looking it up now.
I see it says more drone sightings in New Jersey.
What in the heck?
Yeah.
Huh.
Yeah.
(18:25):
See if you can find the one that talks about, except, you know, Thanksgiving Day, they took
a break.
Yeah.
In Morris County.
I wonder if these drone pilots are going to take Christmas Day off as well.
I don't know.
Maybe.
Makes you wonder.
Maybe they'll take off like New Year's Day.
Like we got too sloshed last night.
We can't fly the drone.
It's illegal to fly the drone.
Right.
Cause you have to have a pilot's license.
(18:48):
My father had to get a pilot's license for it.
And like, you can't get that pilot's license taken away.
Samantha, thank you very much for coming onto the show today.
Hope you had a good time and looking forward to hearing the episode when it airs.
I had a lot of fun.
It's been a pleasure speaking with you.
Awesome.
I believe I forgot this because I tell this oh hello cat hold on
(00:04):
Where did you come from sorry interrupt us girl?
Like go like go like go so sorry editing that out
I'm Jake Jacobs, and you're listening to what the fuck?
(00:29):
First guest is Samantha and Samantha is one of my colleagues with the job that we do there's a lot of material to choose from
But it's not going to be just about work if you've listened to the intro anything that happens in everyday life
Anything that could make you even think or utter either under your breath or out loud this phrase
What the fuck is what we're talking about Samantha welcome to the show. Hi. Thanks for having me. Are you very welcome?
(00:53):
You've heard the intro would think of the format of the show
I mean
It's definitely something that intrigues me and I'm interested in because I deal with it on a daily basis
Both like you said with our with our line of work. I also have a teenager so between the two
There's a lot of what the fuck moments that happen on a daily basis
And understand I was watching the football game last night that I'm not a Chiefs fan
(01:16):
So that there was there was plenty of what the fuck moments for me, so
Yeah, yeah, they've barely been squeaking by this whole season, but yet they're still winning so yeah, we'll see
So I think the best way to kick this off and and no pressure by the way you are the first
Guest on this show my first podcast as well. So breaking barriers today. Let
(01:42):
Me ask you this when was the last time you said it and how did you say it?
Was it a question was it said an exasperation like give me the context. It was probably honestly yesterday with my teenager
While we were out shopping she decided that she was going to wander off in the store and come back and
For context she's only 14 and so she wandered. I mean I say only 14
(02:07):
I mean she I let her wander sometimes
But no she wanders off comes back and is bringing me clothes that she wants to buy that I'm like
All right, you're 14. You're you're wanting me to buy you crop tops and mini skirts. I'm like sis
You're not 18. I said when you're 18 you can buy this you can wear this whatever and
She'll sit there and be like but mom the other kids in school wear this I said in what world
(02:30):
Are there other parents letting their teenage children wear stuff like this?
Conscious I'm like when I was younger trust me
I used to wear this kind of stuff behind my parents back
But that's cuz I would get it from my friends or whatever. I was like, but no I was like what the fuck I'm like you
What the fuck? No, you're not you're not wearing this kind of stuff at 14 years old
(02:51):
So when you said it or when you thought it or however, it came out it was a question. Yes
Yeah, probably more like a question. Yeah
Always trying to push the boundaries. She thinks she's older than she is. Yeah. Well teenagers will do that to you
Thank God. I don't have teenagers anymore. But uh, so that's a good one for me
The last time I said it was actually this morning when I woke up knowing that I was going to be doing this podcast with you
(03:14):
This morning. I woke up with a little bit of a scratchy throat a little bit of congestion there
So my first thought I didn't say it but my first thought was what the fuck?
No, be like the day of
Like seriously this day just my luck
It was kind of like in context when when something happens and maybe sometimes instead of saying what the fuck you're like really
(03:34):
Which kind of has the same context, you know, it's like a rated G version of saying it
Yeah, it just feels like what the fuck is it more like it's universal because of how versatile the word in and of itself is
But like yeah, it definitely can be replaced so many different things in so many different contexts that it's like it's so wild
That it can be utilized so frequently for so many attributes that it goes towards
(03:57):
So I just I recently got a tattoo and I was like the whole time
I think it took maybe 10 15 20 minutes most for the tattoo because it's just a small one
And like I'm sitting there talking to her as she's doing it and she goes, okay, I'm done. I'm like you started
What? Right?
We're done. What the fuck?
How was that so quick and literally painless like it's up on my shoulder blade and I was like, oh
(04:20):
Wow, I don't remember them being this not painful because I've got like with this one now
I think 11 or 12 tattoos and most of them are from the waist down because for the longest time
I was under the delusion that I was going to get some type of high-ranking corporate job and
Couldn't have anything showing and I was like, yeah, that's never gonna happen
So I don't care anymore, but the ones in the bottom half, they weren't that bad
But I just I was like, wow, everybody says like your shoulder because it's like on the bone and everything
(04:43):
They're like, oh, it's gonna hurt so bad. I'm like I felt nothing
Literally nothing. So I was like, well now I want another one
They're addicting yeah, they are I have a few so I and I know the the worst one for me was I have one
On my chest the other ones I had weren't that bad. I'm like everyone always says all tattoos don't hurt
Well, I was one of those people that said that until I got this one and the closer he got to my armpit
(05:07):
I was going out of my mind. Like it was that hurt. I was like what the fuck
This is not supposed to be painful. Like this goes against everything that I was saying before I came here today
Well, he was doing the outline and just in black when he got the outline done
I'm like dude, I need to step out there. Then there was a bar next door
I'm like I need to go have a shot. He goes no, no, no, I'm not doing that
(05:28):
He said I don't tattoo people that have been drinking or in the process of drinking should bleed more
Yeah, he said if you need a break, you know, go out smoke a cigarette. It was back when I smoked cigarettes
He's like, you know, we'll go out. We'll have a smoke. He said but I know no alcohol
I'm like what the fuck is going on?
I'm like no no alcohol. I'm like what the fuck dude, seriously?
Because you still got to get to the shading and the shading is the worst part
(05:48):
Well, yeah, the shading needles have more it's not just one needle now. It's like multiple needles in there
So nowadays they have ones that have like upwards of like 20 needles in them too
Like if you're doing a real big piece, yeah, and I'm like
The second question I would ask you is what was your funniest?
What the fuck moment if you had to pick one funniest what the fuck moment I had was when I worked at our
(06:10):
We had a restaurant when I was in high school and just out of high school for a couple years before the 2007 recession hit and we
Unfortunately had to shut down but it was a seafood restaurant. My whole family is like in the seafood industry
so like they're on my dad's side, so it's it's big in our family and
Back when I was probably like 19 or 20 we had a customer come in
(06:32):
It was him wife and I want to say six kids
So it was eight of them and the way that our restaurant worked is we had an automatic gratuity for parties of eight and over
Okay, and so whether they are tiny humans or full grown humans. Yeah, eight is eight
so
The whole time i'm serving them they're doing because they came in during happy hour
(06:53):
They're ordering all this happy hour stuff like shrimp whatever blah blah. I am literally material like we weren't that busy
So I was like materializing this as quickly as humanly possible like because we weren't that busy
Getting him all the stuff getting the kids meals getting drinks blah blah blah, whatever
They get the check and they're like, why is this gratuity?
And i'm like I explained this to y'all at the beginning of this interaction. Don't even ask me why there's on there
(07:15):
You know why it's on there exactly
And so he starts bitch moaning complaining about it
And the wife goes to take the kids out to the car. He does eventually pay but then they leave
But then he walks back in and he goes, you know what? No, I want to talk to your manager. I said
I bet because my father's my manager because he's the owner. So i'm like, but he doesn't know that so i'm like, okay
(07:38):
So I go get my dad and i'm like, hey dad. I was like, here's the deal
I was literally like if I could have star trek beam me up this food to their table any faster
I would have but literally it was like put the order in it came up within like two minutes and it was out of the table
I promise you
Shit was going out quick, right?
So he's like, all right, I got this so we both go out and stand there and i'm standing next to my father like
(08:02):
Here's the manager
And so he's talking to my dad and he's like she was horrible
Service was horrible food was not coming out fast enough drinks were not coming out fast enough
Just bitch moaning complaining typical care in the world from this man
Or in the early 2000s. Um, and so he's sitting there. He's like, what are you gonna do about it? He goes
(08:24):
well, I
Personally was walking the floor and I did not see the same thing that you're describing to me now
Well, I want her fired and he goes, oh you want me to fire my daughter and this man's eyes bugged out of his brain
and he was like
I'm gonna report you to the better business bureau and then my dad goes
(08:44):
I'm gonna report you to the better people bureau get out of my restaurant
And I just thought it was the funniest fucking thing on the face of the earth and I was like
And then we both high-fived and I was like, thanks dad. Love you
Oh my god, just like he was like get out of my restaurant or i'm gonna have you trespassed and he was like
My father he was he was a karen slash ken before that was even a thing
(09:09):
You know, it's so funny. My father's name is ken. So I find it absolutely hilarious. No, no, I find it hilarious
But yeah, no it yeah, he was or kevin or whatever the whatever the meal. Yeah
He was kerning before kerning was a thing. I'm just sick burn dad
That really does need to be a thing the better people bureau, right?
Like what if it isn't a thing then then somebody needs to start it?
(09:32):
That's yeah, that's that's probably my favorite what the fuck moment of my life is my father telling some random man
Because he had to put eight percent gratuity on happy hour, which was already discounted anyways
um
And then he was gonna call the better people bureau on him
Just tumor
You know, I don't think everything that my father told 就是我才有 因為我 Nah it's not like i'm so dependent on thealand
(09:56):
So when he did this is my father spent his entire life trying to beIA
Children isn't a matter of name nor apt Dave you you don't want people looking that way
You know um
I need you all know Danielle you know
It's all important one another
You don't try to continue that
Facebook. And I'm like, well, you know, what do you mean?
(10:19):
Keep in mind, number one, I don't work for Facebook.
Okay. I have an idea where this is going. Okay.
Let's just get that out of the way.
You're like, I don't work for Facebook.
You don't work for Metta. Yeah. Try to call Metta or Facebook and tell me how that
goes for you. But anyway, she says, I'm getting regular notifications by Newsfeed.
(10:39):
Everything is looking good, but I haven't gotten very many happy birthdays on my
timeline. Yeah. I literally had to mute my headset because I don't know if I said
it out loud, but I know I thought, what the fuck? Right. So when I regained...
(11:00):
Let me hold your hand when I tell you.
When I regained composure, I'm like...
It's not Facebook.
I said, ma'am, you are getting other things on your timeline. Like any normal day,
you're seeing things that are popping up like memes and stuff like that.
She said, yeah, everything looks good.
She said, I just don't think I'm getting the amount of birthday wishes that I
normally get.
Oh, no. You need to sit down and really take a look at your life, see how you
(11:24):
treat people. That should answer why you're not getting as many as you normally
do. How would how do you act this past year?
Yeah. Well, I said, are you getting any?
She goes, yeah, I've gotten a few, just not as many as I normally would.
Or as I'm not getting as many as I think I should.
I don't know exactly how she said it, but it was like so...
What a wild thing to say.
Like you should never assume that you're just going to get every one of your
(11:47):
God knows how many friends to say happy birthday on your birthday every year.
Right.
Like if I get birthday wishes on my Facebook, which I seldom check anyways,
honestly, I'm just like, oh, people still know about me?
Cool. People remember me?
Oh, thanks, guys.
Like, I don't expect it.
Good Lord.
(12:08):
We call it Facebook, be like, I'm sorry, can you please send a notice out to all
of my friends list and be like, why are you not messaging your best friend in the
whole world? It's her birthday.
Like, come on now. And it's truly what the fuck?
Yeah.
God, did that woman ever listen to this and be like, that sounds awfully familiar.
I know.
We didn't say your name.
I didn't say your name.
Unless you told anybody, nobody's going to know it's you either.
(12:31):
Yeah.
The company that I worked for before the company,
you and I work for now, I was doing tech support and I had a caller.
I don't remember what her issue was with her device, but she made a point to tell
me that she was in the adult film industry and she proceeded to give me the
(12:54):
link to her website where I could, you know, then, you know, that's subscribe,
subscribe.
And that was a well, you know what?
I think I might have said that my first thought was, was probably, you know,
my first thought was, was probably seriously.
But that could be loosely translated to what the fuck?
I mean, they're kind of professional setting.
(13:15):
What the fuck?
So I, I fixed her issue.
I don't like I said, I don't remember what it was, but I fixed it.
And then when I got home that night, I may or may not have went to the website
and checked it out, but I'll just leave that to your imagination.
But like, uh, I mean, now I'm slightly curious to just be like, maybe I'll check
it out.
And you check it out and you're like, all right.
Yeah.
(13:36):
Yeah.
That's too funny.
So here's a, here's a food related.
What the fuck?
When I was in the Navy, at one point I was stationed down in Texas.
I started having sinus issues and I went to the, to the VA.
Well, it wasn't the VA hospital.
I had to go to the, the air force hospital in San Antonio, which is where the
air force bootcamp is.
(13:57):
So I was at Wolford hall medical center and they did, they were doing some
testing and they, they told me that I had a deviated septum, fancy way of saying
that you have a broken nose basically.
So they're like, well, there's a couple of things we can do.
We can give you a mouthpiece to wear at night.
I'm like, that's not going to work.
Cause I just, I wouldn't be able to do that.
They're like, well, we can do that.
We can do a surgery.
We can fix your deviated septum.
(14:18):
It's very minor.
You know, I'm like, let's do it.
All right.
Give me a sweet rhinoplasty.
No show.
So it was, it was a rhinoplasty.
And so they, they did it.
They, I don't know for people that have ever had this before, but when they
did, well, at least for me, what they did, they, they filled the, the sinus cavities
on either side of your nose with these little balloons for lack of a better word.
Right.
And I had, they had to stay in for, I think a week.
(14:41):
So for a week, I was completely congested more than I am now, but no taste kind of
like with COVID you couldn't taste shit.
Right.
So I'm eating, but it's not really like eating for sustenance.
Like I, I really, I'm eating to make sure I don't pass away from like hunger.
Exactly.
So in Texas, there's this burger chain called Water Burger is like Burger King
(15:03):
everywhere else.
Yeah.
I've heard of it.
I've just never been to one.
It was my favorite burger place down there.
And I went in a week later to get these balloons ripped out of my nose, which was an experience
of itself.
And I think I might've at least thought what the fuck as they were pulling them out of
my nasal cavities.
But here's where I was going with this.
When they pulled it out, my, my smelling was like, I swear to God, I could smell like
(15:27):
a dog.
I was still inside the hospital and I could smell the pizza hut down the road.
I could smell the water burger.
I could smell any restaurant that was within like a three mile radius.
I could smell it.
You're like, did y'all give me spidey senses?
Like what the heck?
And I was hungry and I finished up and I walked out.
I'm like, okay, this is perfect time.
It's lunchtime.
I'm going to go to water burger.
(15:48):
And I ordered a double with cheese.
Like, it's like a double whopper with cheese.
And I was like salivating at this point, like this, oh man, this is going to be so fucking
good.
And then I bit into it and I spit it immediately out.
It's like my sense of smell was hyper.
Like to the point that it was like over analyzing whatever it was smelling and tasting.
And it was like, and then the taste of the burger, I was like, what the fuck is this?
(16:10):
Like this was, it wasn't matching up.
Like the taste wasn't matching up with the smell and my brain was all kind of all weird.
So I just like, I didn't, I wasn't a Karen.
I wasn't, you know, saying there's something wrong with the burger.
I knew it was me.
I mean, so I would, I had enough self.
It was like your senses were overloaded and it was like just too much.
And it was like, no, no, no, this is too much, too much.
(16:31):
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I wasted, well, this was back in the nineties.
So I probably wasted like five bucks on a, you know, value mail, whatever.
But so, so one last thing, and we're going to wrap this up.
I just happened to have Safari pulled up and there's this news piece that's going on that
one of my friends brought to my attention about the New Jersey drones.
Have you heard about this?
(16:53):
No.
So supposedly, I guess since before Thanksgiving or something, there's been a shitload of drones
flying around various parts of New Jersey, close to a property that Trump owns, his golf course
or one of his golf courses or something.
But people taking videos of these drones, some of them are supposedly car sized drones
and the FBI is investigating that this shit's getting wild.
(17:15):
It's like Twilight Zone shit, right?
So I'm sitting here.
Okay.
So I have CBS News, NBC News, Newsweek, New York Post, the different news agencies reporting
about this, right?
Right.
And I clicked on, I'm not going to say which one I clicked on.
You'll just have to figure that out for yourself.
But I clicked on one and it had supposedly a video of one of these things crashing, not
(17:41):
of the crash itself, but of like burning debris on a road.
Right.
You know, so that was.
Was it a Tesla?
Is that why it was cleaned up so fast?
I don't know.
I mean, if Tesla's crashed, they're cleaned up within like two minutes.
Of course they are.
Yeah.
Yeah, of course they are.
God forbid.
The same article goes on to say, well, these drone recordings have been constant since
before Thanksgiving and you know, blah, blah, blah.
(18:04):
And then they said, except for Thanksgiving Day.
Thanksgiving Day, these motherfuckers took a break.
Right.
They're like, we've got to eat our turkey and then we're back on it the next day.
I was going to say, I'm actually looking it up now.
I see it says more drone sightings in New Jersey.
What in the heck?
Yeah.
Huh.
Yeah.
(18:25):
See if you can find the one that talks about, except, you know, Thanksgiving Day, they took
a break.
Yeah.
In Morris County.
I wonder if these drone pilots are going to take Christmas Day off as well.
I don't know.
Maybe.
Makes you wonder.
Maybe they'll take off like New Year's Day.
Like we got too sloshed last night.
We can't fly the drone.
It's illegal to fly the drone.
Right.
Cause you have to have a pilot's license.
(18:48):
My father had to get a pilot's license for it.
And like, you can't get that pilot's license taken away.
Samantha, thank you very much for coming onto the show today.
Hope you had a good time and looking forward to hearing the episode when it airs.
I had a lot of fun.
It's been a pleasure speaking with you.
Awesome.
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