January 7, 2025 • 18 mins
Samantha is back with some online dating adventures, and I share some recent personal WTF moments.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
It's distasteful. It's distasteful.
(00:03):
Hold on. Rented lips. Sorry.
Words are hard.
Anybody actually use the better piece of better?
Words are hard.
Better people business, better, better.
Motherfucker. Better Business Bureau website.
I'm Jake Jacobs and you're listening to What the Fuck.
(00:31):
Samantha has been well, initially we were sidelined because I got sick with this shit that's going around Nashville right now.
And you can probably hear it.
So I made the announcement, hey, you know, we'll see you guys after the new year.
And, you know, while I'm recovering, but in the interim, Samantha reached out to me twice.
And one time she's like, I got a what the fuck moment going on.
(00:51):
And then another time that just a couple of days ago, she said, I have a real time.
What the fuck? Samantha's got some shit on her mind.
So with me being a little sick, I'm going to let her roll with it.
Both of those reach outs were for the same instance.
It just it started developing in real time after the fact.
OK, basically, I have a 14 year old daughter.
I've pretty much been single since she was about two, kind of by choice,
(01:13):
just because I'm dealing with her and life and everything.
It's just been more of a priority than needing to have a partner.
So I just kind of like whatever.
I decided last year to venture into online dating apps.
OK. Never again.
But I started talking to a gentleman, going what I thought great.
(01:36):
Lot in common, whatever.
Hadn't actually I've never met up with him, but we had talked for like a couple of weeks, whatever.
And then I had left to go to like a family
reunion slash like celebration of my grandmother's life after she passed away.
We were going to spread our ashes and all that.
And when I came back from that, he, I guess, had decided to quit his job
(01:57):
and then called me drunk, which up until this point,
we'd been talking via like text and voice snippets back and forth.
Whatever. So he's heard my voice.
He knows what I sound like and proceeded to start going real out of pocket
with his comments asking, are you sure you're not a man?
You sure you ain't got a dick between your legs?
Blah, blah, blah, blah.
(02:18):
Like just going off the fucking rails.
And I'm like, he was trying to see if he was being catfish, but in a drunken way.
Exactly. And I'm like, what? This is insane.
I was like, I got to go. This is not happening from there.
Don't speak again.
Well, we're a little over a year later since the last time I spoke to him,
which was in like September of 2023.
And I got a random Facebook message because I was not friends
(02:40):
with him on Facebook, but because I guess my phone number was in his phone.
It came up in his suggested friends for you.
Yes. So I get a message from him going, do I know you?
And I'm like, I guess you don't remember us meeting through a dating app
and then talking for a couple of weeks.
And then after I get back from my family reunion, my grandmother passed away.
You called me drunk, proceed after you quit your job.
And I'm surprised you don't remember.
(03:00):
And I saw that he'd read it and didn't respond.
And I was like, OK, he's shamed.
He's not going to say anything.
Whatever. It's done.
He realizes his mistake and he's an idiot.
I was wrong. His idiocy knows no bounds.
Oh, so I proceed to get
what I believe is a stream of consciousness,
(03:20):
the red of thoughts coming at me from him,
basically saying like, I apologize.
I'm not in a normal state of mind.
I was in an accident.
And then we start getting into the weird.
And he starts this whole like, it hurts to fart.
I saw your picture and wanted to say, hi, hope you're well.
Happy holidays.
Everything hurts and nobody wants to help.
I'm sorry. I'm such a turd.
(03:41):
Hope you're well.
And it keeps going on and on and on.
And then we get to like he says something like kitty cats and baby girl.
Love it. And just like, am I in the twilight zone right now?
My response after like this giant stream of consciousness
and like a random selfie of him.
Luckily, not a dick pic, but an actual selfie.
Oh, OK. I'm sorry.
(04:01):
I don't understand what's happening.
Nothing you're saying makes sense whatsoever.
And then he responds with it's not supposed to.
And so he just keeps going on.
And then he like sends me his number again.
It's like if you want to chat, I'm like, what?
Are you high on drugs right now?
And also glossing over the fact that you were basically calling me a man
the last time we spoke and just continuously telling me that he was
(04:22):
in an accident a couple of weeks ago.
And I'm like, so I've just kind of left it that he's asking me, like,
what's the best pizza place?
And I was like, I'm not from where you're from.
How the hell would I know that? Yeah.
I left it that and then he accidentally tried to call me through Facebook
and send me. Sorry, I didn't mean to call you. Right.
And I've just left it at that.
And I was like, what in the fuck did I just witness?
It looked like the mental breakdown of a human being in fast
(04:46):
gatlin gun shooting messages format.
So so for that, what the fuck? You had to add a word to it.
So what in the fuck?
So what in the actual fuck?
You had to add two words to our favorite phrase.
Holy shit.
If I continue to respond to this, it's just going to get worse.
I was like, so I at this point, I've said my piece.
He's clearly something I write with him because he's like,
(05:10):
I'm just high off no sleep, bitch.
That's not what no sleep does to you. Trust me.
I would know. But yeah, I was like, this is wild.
You're like, whatever you're on, I need some of that shit.
So that was the two and one.
It started out with that message back on the eighth.
Then I let it simmer for like two weeks, three weeks.
And then it started to. Yeah.
(05:31):
I knew when you reached out the second time, I'm like,
whatever, whatever this is, this is going to be a good one.
Oh, my God. Wild.
So, yeah, that was like it was like right after Christmas.
But I responded and I was like, this is insane.
That was a drunk dial from hell.
I guess because they no way sleep did that to you.
You ever drunk text somebody or drunk call somebody?
Oh, yeah, of course. Who hasn't?
(05:53):
So here is a drunk caller.
She was drunk dialing, but she added something.
Well, she added a lot to it, actually.
Ashley Corbin is her name.
And you can Google that and you will you can read.
Waukesha County that's in Wisconsin.
She calls the police department and she says there is someone shooting
in my neighborhood or right across the street.
(06:13):
And she wasn't being really specific.
So the cops are thinking this is swatting or there's an active shooter going on.
So while she is still on the phone with them being vague as fuck,
they're there where she says the shooting is going on and there's nothing going on.
No shots, nothing. It's like a quiet street.
Hardly any street lights. I mean, it's quiet.
Right. And they're still trying to get information from her.
(06:35):
And I think she eventually hangs up and then calls again and hangs up
and then calls again and keeps on doing it.
So the cops that are on the scene, they're calling back to dispatch.
They're like, there's nothing going on here.
And they knocked on one of the neighbors' doors that she indicated
that she thought where the shots were coming from.
And this guy was clearly had just woken him up.
He's like, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.
Not a clue. Right.
(06:55):
And at one point, she mentions that there's someone out there shooting rabbits.
So she added rabbits to it.
But during those calls, the dispatchers could tell that she was imbibing.
Maybe she was had a little bit too much, maybe, you know, inebriated in some form
at the police station.
One of the cops that's listening to all this, he recognizes this chick's voice.
He's like, I think I know who this is.
While she is still on an active call with dispatch, he calls her number.
(07:20):
You can hear her disconnect from that call and pick up his call.
And she's like, hello.
And he's like, is this actually she goes, no, this is Lindsey.
So she changed her name from Ashley to Lindsey, but they knew it was the same person.
So finally, the cops that were on location, he sent them there to knock on her door.
And she's still trying to claim that she's Lindsey now. Right.
So, of course, hilarity ensues.
(07:41):
You don't know what you're talking about.
I did hear a shooter.
And then she goes down a road, which, you know, I was in the Navy for 20 years
and I drank a lot of booze.
And I'll admit, I did some stupid shit when I was drunk.
But never once did I do shit like that.
And then while the cops were there trying to figure out what the hell is going on,
she tells them that she's a brain surgeon.
(08:02):
She could have said anything, you know, but a brain surgeon
and that she's so smarter than them.
And there's body cam footage of this.
So this happened in December of 23.
And the last thing I can see on here was she was facing for the swatting,
which they were trying to have that charge stick.
Waste of resources.
Three years in jail for for swatting.
It's fucked up, first of all, to do that to somebody.
(08:24):
Now, you could say, I'm sure many people are saying that this is just drunken shenanigans.
Yeah, but when it wastes that many resources.
Oh, yeah. And you could also say that maybe this is a mental illness.
Oh, yeah, there's definitely something going on there.
But the fact that one of the cops at the station is like, wait a minute,
I recognize that voice.
Oh, I know that crazy voice.
I guess I think they're alluding to the fact that she had been in trouble
(08:48):
before with the police for alcohol.
Oh, OK, maybe.
Yeah. So then she tries to say that the cops raped her in the car.
So she added a rape allegation.
False. And the whole time that she was in custody, there was no way.
So Ashley, Lindsey, brain surgeon rape all because of alcohol.
You know, I've done some stupid shit, but God, well, the fuck.
(09:09):
What the fuck? Seriously?
Who does? Oh, my God.
That was a nice segue from the drunk thing to that was I was wondering
how it's going to fit that in there, but that was perfect.
I've got a good segue from drunken dating app to drunken swatting to
kind of has to do with some drinking slash partying or whatever.
(09:29):
So are you familiar with Liquid Death, the company that does like the water
and the kids? Yeah, I've enjoyed some of that liquid death myself.
I do enjoy it. It's pretty good.
I mean, the gimmick. Hilarious. It's good water for what it is.
So they recently, I guess, an incident at a concert at some point
where some woman in the middle of a pit just decided to pop a squat
and like piss in the middle of the pit because she couldn't get out of it
(09:49):
to get to the bathroom.
So that happened.
And Liquid Death was on that shit immediately
because they put out a limited edition pit diaper for seventy five dollars
made of pleather and studded looks like punk rock diaper that you can wear
so that when you're in the pit and you got to take a piss
and you can't get out of that pit sold out within minutes.
(10:10):
Wow. That does not surprise me one bit.
I can't even imagine.
Go first of all, you're wearing a pleather diaper.
That's got to be uncomfortable.
You're going to be in a sweaty pit full of people.
You're going to be squeaking as you're like
eeee eeee eeee
Leather down between your legs.
But like also the fact that the novel I'm sure it's just because
(10:32):
it's the novelty of it, like that people bought it because I can't imagine
anybody truly using and wearing that during a frigging concert
you would wear on the outside normally.
How scary is it that I know at least two people that would buy that?
And use it actively?
And use it. Yes.
For what it's intended.
Yes. At least two people.
It's so funny.
(10:53):
Their immediate jump to get on something has been like crazy
because I know they've done some other stuff too that have been like
in response to like crazy social things happening like this.
But this one just happened to catch my attention because it was so funny
and it was like limited edition and like sold out in minutes.
Yeah, that doesn't that does not surprise me.
And a lot of people probably just bought that just because it's going to be
(11:13):
a collector's item.
Oh, I'm sure. Yeah.
Water and pit diapers.
You figure it kind of goes together, though, because you're drinking
all that water. Where's it got to go?
So here's a quick personal one.
And this may open up a whole can of worms.
I don't know. But when you go shopping, there's two categories of people here
when it comes to returning the shopping cart.
There's the camp that will always return the cart to the corral because
(11:34):
for that group of people, that seems to be the right thing to do.
And then there's the people that will just leave it wherever the fuck
they want to leave it.
And then their token excuses.
Well, if someone parks there, they can just grab the cart and go.
Which, well, that's what their excuses are for that.
So we already know my stance here.
OK, so we know where Samantha stands on this.
So that sets the tone.
(11:55):
So this happened at a Walmart.
Now, there is a ton of stories I could do about Walmart.
But this one happened to me.
I was in a process of parking at the Walmart that I go to in the parking lot.
Some of the sections of a lot are separated by these little cement medians.
Yes.
It has mulch in it and like a little tree in it, right?
And I parked right there next to that cement median on the other side
(12:17):
of the cement meet, like literally one spot over was the cart corral.
OK.
Before I could even get out of my car, a car parked right in front of me
on the opposite side, but directly in front of me.
Right.
I could look dead in this guy's eyes.
See the whites of their eyes.
Right.
I went in and did my shopping and come back out and I'm getting in my car.
Well, this guy must have been right behind me.
Well, it was it was a man and his wife.
(12:38):
I'm assuming he was my age.
OK.
You know, not too old.
I mean, not old as fucking dirt, but, you know, not young either.
So he comes out with his shopping cart and he starts putting stuff in his car.
And I'm getting all my stuff together and getting ready to go.
And I put my car in reverse to back out.
And as I was doing that, I was watching this man struggle with his cart
because he was trying to put it up on the median.
(12:58):
He was trying to like lift it up and put it onto the cement median
where the tree was when there was a cart corral right next to that.
Five feet away.
Not even five feet away.
Like a foot maybe.
The corral was right there.
He would rather fight pushing the cart down to get the front wheels to come up,
to set it down on the cement median, to put it on that median
instead of putting it into the.
He was like actively saying, I'm not putting this shopping cart into the fucking corral.
(13:20):
I'm just not fucking doing it.
I'm going to put it here instead.
The math don't math with people like that.
I don't.
I put my car back in park.
I said, what the fuck?
And as he was backing out, I got out of my car so he could see me do this.
And I pulled the fucking cart office met media and put it into the fucking corral.
Like, what the fuck is wrong with you, dude?
Be like, I'm going to look you dead in your fucking eyes and shame you
(13:44):
as I'm pushing this cart into where you could have a foot away from your freaking vehicle.
Oh, I love doing that to people.
Well, the next person that comes there, there's a corral right there.
If they want a cart, they can grab one.
Why would you make them have to pull it off the cement median where the tree was?
Not only that, but that's like sheer pettiness of like,
I know there's a car corral right there, but fuck that corral.
You know, it's so funny.
(14:05):
There's just an episode of 9-1-1 that that was the exact premise was cart
shirkers who they just leave it wherever in the parking lot.
This kid who's a shamer who puts like magnets on people's cars.
It's like, you're a shirker.
And he gets his ass whopped.
Yeah.
I'm like, that's so funny that you bring it because I literally just watched that episode yesterday.
I just watched some petty motherfucker.
What the fuck?
(14:26):
That's sheer like, exactly.
Corral.
I have, believe it or not, another Walmart story.
Oh.
This one wasn't me though.
This one is just recent in the news.
It's still, things are developing here.
Mesa, Arizona.
I want to say this kid's name is Charles Smith.
He was influencing, I guess, inside of Walmart.
He thought it would be a great idea or a, as he calls it, prank.
(14:50):
Oh, fuck.
I hate prank influencers.
To shoplift a can of bug spray.
And then take said can of bug spray to the produce department
and start spraying shit all over the produce, fruits, vegetables.
And he lit a lot of shit up with this bug spray and then left.
As he was leaving the Walmart, I guess he was getting some comments on whatever he was streaming on.
(15:15):
Even some of his followers were like, dude, that's seriously fucked up.
That's not a prank.
That was fucking wrong.
You're spraying poison that's not meant to be ingested on shit.
So supposedly he goes back into the Walmart, takes a shopping cart,
and tries to scoop up some of the shit that he sprayed and tries to take it to the back of the store.
By this time.
I'm sure LP and everybody's like seen it on camera and been like, what the fuck is this kid doing?
(15:36):
Yeah, they're all over it.
They arrested him and they took him to jail.
And he was arraigned.
And he told the judge that he's a self-proclaimed troll and that he does pranks for a living.
And he makes anywhere from six to ten thousand dollars a month doing it.
And I'm sure the judge was like, hmm, not anymore.
Not anymore, bitch.
The last thing I heard was they told him, oh, you're online pranks that you're doing?
(16:00):
No, not anymore. You're done. Right.
You're done. You've been trespassed off the Internet, sir.
I don't know how they're going to enforce that because I mean, in what mindset do you have to be that you think
spraying produce with bug spray is a prank?
Because I feel like he's one of those kids that grew up with parents that never said no to anything.
Keyword that you just said there, kid. No, he's twenty seven.
(16:23):
The look on your face was priceless, Samantha.
I still stand by the fact that his parents never said no or anybody in his life has ever said no.
And he's taken it seriously if they have, because to actively think that trolling is a good way to bring in money.
Which, Grant, I mean, if he truly is making six to ten thousand dollars a month.
(16:43):
Wow. Yeah. Wow.
That people pay him that much to be that much of a menace to society.
And clearly, growing up, something happened where he was not or if he was someone tried to teach him a moral compass, it didn't stick.
Well, he's also not the brightest motherfucker on the planet Earth because telling the judge that the judge is probably down
(17:03):
looking at some of these other pranks that he did and they could possibly.
Bring charges for all that shit, too. Yeah, exactly.
Because if you're putting people's health at risk, that's different.
It's one thing to prank somebody and it be a legitimately harmless prank that hurts nobody.
And it's just a silly prank, but something like spraying bug spray, which is not meant to be ingested and is for like outside your body only.
(17:26):
And people are about to eat the shit you just sprayed it all over.
Yeah. What if somebody is allergic to that particular spray you used or some ingredient in it or a kid ingest too much of it and gets poisoning from it?
Because it's like an overdose, essentially. Yeah. Yeah. That's not that's not OK.
When your own followers are telling you that you're fucked in the head. Right.
Something went awry in his youth to lead to him thinking that this is OK behavior.
(17:51):
I have another one, by the way, but this is a quick one. OK.
This is just a seriously, why would you fucking do that?
But this is a personal one. Three days ago, I was shopping.
I just needed something really quick going through the frozen aisle.
Yeah, I see this guy and just the way that he's shopping young guy, you know, super clean cut looking guy.
But he's pulling a shopping cart, not from the handle, but he's pulling it like from the side.
(18:13):
And he's in a hurry. He's on the phone.
And my first thought was he's one of these door dash people or people that are shopping for people.
Right. And he's like on a mission, just like laser line.
And he's on the phone and he's just shopping. Right.
He's doing that. And I'm watching him. It's like busy B.
Like he's bouncing all over the place. Ping pong and around the store.
He stops for a split second to take time to lean down and spit on the floor.
(18:35):
And then he just keeps on going. Eww.
What the? Say it. What the fuck?
It's distasteful. It's distasteful.
(00:03):
Hold on. Rented lips. Sorry.
Words are hard.
Anybody actually use the better piece of better?
Words are hard.
Better people business, better, better.
Motherfucker. Better Business Bureau website.
I'm Jake Jacobs and you're listening to What the Fuck.
(00:31):
Samantha has been well, initially we were sidelined because I got sick with this shit that's going around Nashville right now.
And you can probably hear it.
So I made the announcement, hey, you know, we'll see you guys after the new year.
And, you know, while I'm recovering, but in the interim, Samantha reached out to me twice.
And one time she's like, I got a what the fuck moment going on.
(00:51):
And then another time that just a couple of days ago, she said, I have a real time.
What the fuck? Samantha's got some shit on her mind.
So with me being a little sick, I'm going to let her roll with it.
Both of those reach outs were for the same instance.
It just it started developing in real time after the fact.
OK, basically, I have a 14 year old daughter.
I've pretty much been single since she was about two, kind of by choice,
(01:13):
just because I'm dealing with her and life and everything.
It's just been more of a priority than needing to have a partner.
So I just kind of like whatever.
I decided last year to venture into online dating apps.
OK. Never again.
But I started talking to a gentleman, going what I thought great.
(01:36):
Lot in common, whatever.
Hadn't actually I've never met up with him, but we had talked for like a couple of weeks, whatever.
And then I had left to go to like a family
reunion slash like celebration of my grandmother's life after she passed away.
We were going to spread our ashes and all that.
And when I came back from that, he, I guess, had decided to quit his job
(01:57):
and then called me drunk, which up until this point,
we'd been talking via like text and voice snippets back and forth.
Whatever. So he's heard my voice.
He knows what I sound like and proceeded to start going real out of pocket
with his comments asking, are you sure you're not a man?
You sure you ain't got a dick between your legs?
Blah, blah, blah, blah.
(02:18):
Like just going off the fucking rails.
And I'm like, he was trying to see if he was being catfish, but in a drunken way.
Exactly. And I'm like, what? This is insane.
I was like, I got to go. This is not happening from there.
Don't speak again.
Well, we're a little over a year later since the last time I spoke to him,
which was in like September of 2023.
And I got a random Facebook message because I was not friends
(02:40):
with him on Facebook, but because I guess my phone number was in his phone.
It came up in his suggested friends for you.
Yes. So I get a message from him going, do I know you?
And I'm like, I guess you don't remember us meeting through a dating app
and then talking for a couple of weeks.
And then after I get back from my family reunion, my grandmother passed away.
You called me drunk, proceed after you quit your job.
And I'm surprised you don't remember.
(03:00):
And I saw that he'd read it and didn't respond.
And I was like, OK, he's shamed.
He's not going to say anything.
Whatever. It's done.
He realizes his mistake and he's an idiot.
I was wrong. His idiocy knows no bounds.
Oh, so I proceed to get
what I believe is a stream of consciousness,
(03:20):
the red of thoughts coming at me from him,
basically saying like, I apologize.
I'm not in a normal state of mind.
I was in an accident.
And then we start getting into the weird.
And he starts this whole like, it hurts to fart.
I saw your picture and wanted to say, hi, hope you're well.
Happy holidays.
Everything hurts and nobody wants to help.
I'm sorry. I'm such a turd.
(03:41):
Hope you're well.
And it keeps going on and on and on.
And then we get to like he says something like kitty cats and baby girl.
Love it. And just like, am I in the twilight zone right now?
My response after like this giant stream of consciousness
and like a random selfie of him.
Luckily, not a dick pic, but an actual selfie.
Oh, OK. I'm sorry.
(04:01):
I don't understand what's happening.
Nothing you're saying makes sense whatsoever.
And then he responds with it's not supposed to.
And so he just keeps going on.
And then he like sends me his number again.
It's like if you want to chat, I'm like, what?
Are you high on drugs right now?
And also glossing over the fact that you were basically calling me a man
the last time we spoke and just continuously telling me that he was
(04:22):
in an accident a couple of weeks ago.
And I'm like, so I've just kind of left it that he's asking me, like,
what's the best pizza place?
And I was like, I'm not from where you're from.
How the hell would I know that? Yeah.
I left it that and then he accidentally tried to call me through Facebook
and send me. Sorry, I didn't mean to call you. Right.
And I've just left it at that.
And I was like, what in the fuck did I just witness?
It looked like the mental breakdown of a human being in fast
(04:46):
gatlin gun shooting messages format.
So so for that, what the fuck? You had to add a word to it.
So what in the fuck?
So what in the actual fuck?
You had to add two words to our favorite phrase.
Holy shit.
If I continue to respond to this, it's just going to get worse.
I was like, so I at this point, I've said my piece.
He's clearly something I write with him because he's like,
(05:10):
I'm just high off no sleep, bitch.
That's not what no sleep does to you. Trust me.
I would know. But yeah, I was like, this is wild.
You're like, whatever you're on, I need some of that shit.
So that was the two and one.
It started out with that message back on the eighth.
Then I let it simmer for like two weeks, three weeks.
And then it started to. Yeah.
(05:31):
I knew when you reached out the second time, I'm like,
whatever, whatever this is, this is going to be a good one.
Oh, my God. Wild.
So, yeah, that was like it was like right after Christmas.
But I responded and I was like, this is insane.
That was a drunk dial from hell.
I guess because they no way sleep did that to you.
You ever drunk text somebody or drunk call somebody?
Oh, yeah, of course. Who hasn't?
(05:53):
So here is a drunk caller.
She was drunk dialing, but she added something.
Well, she added a lot to it, actually.
Ashley Corbin is her name.
And you can Google that and you will you can read.
Waukesha County that's in Wisconsin.
She calls the police department and she says there is someone shooting
in my neighborhood or right across the street.
(06:13):
And she wasn't being really specific.
So the cops are thinking this is swatting or there's an active shooter going on.
So while she is still on the phone with them being vague as fuck,
they're there where she says the shooting is going on and there's nothing going on.
No shots, nothing. It's like a quiet street.
Hardly any street lights. I mean, it's quiet.
Right. And they're still trying to get information from her.
(06:35):
And I think she eventually hangs up and then calls again and hangs up
and then calls again and keeps on doing it.
So the cops that are on the scene, they're calling back to dispatch.
They're like, there's nothing going on here.
And they knocked on one of the neighbors' doors that she indicated
that she thought where the shots were coming from.
And this guy was clearly had just woken him up.
He's like, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.
Not a clue. Right.
(06:55):
And at one point, she mentions that there's someone out there shooting rabbits.
So she added rabbits to it.
But during those calls, the dispatchers could tell that she was imbibing.
Maybe she was had a little bit too much, maybe, you know, inebriated in some form
at the police station.
One of the cops that's listening to all this, he recognizes this chick's voice.
He's like, I think I know who this is.
While she is still on an active call with dispatch, he calls her number.
(07:20):
You can hear her disconnect from that call and pick up his call.
And she's like, hello.
And he's like, is this actually she goes, no, this is Lindsey.
So she changed her name from Ashley to Lindsey, but they knew it was the same person.
So finally, the cops that were on location, he sent them there to knock on her door.
And she's still trying to claim that she's Lindsey now. Right.
So, of course, hilarity ensues.
(07:41):
You don't know what you're talking about.
I did hear a shooter.
And then she goes down a road, which, you know, I was in the Navy for 20 years
and I drank a lot of booze.
And I'll admit, I did some stupid shit when I was drunk.
But never once did I do shit like that.
And then while the cops were there trying to figure out what the hell is going on,
she tells them that she's a brain surgeon.
(08:02):
She could have said anything, you know, but a brain surgeon
and that she's so smarter than them.
And there's body cam footage of this.
So this happened in December of 23.
And the last thing I can see on here was she was facing for the swatting,
which they were trying to have that charge stick.
Waste of resources.
Three years in jail for for swatting.
It's fucked up, first of all, to do that to somebody.
(08:24):
Now, you could say, I'm sure many people are saying that this is just drunken shenanigans.
Yeah, but when it wastes that many resources.
Oh, yeah. And you could also say that maybe this is a mental illness.
Oh, yeah, there's definitely something going on there.
But the fact that one of the cops at the station is like, wait a minute,
I recognize that voice.
Oh, I know that crazy voice.
I guess I think they're alluding to the fact that she had been in trouble
(08:48):
before with the police for alcohol.
Oh, OK, maybe.
Yeah. So then she tries to say that the cops raped her in the car.
So she added a rape allegation.
False. And the whole time that she was in custody, there was no way.
So Ashley, Lindsey, brain surgeon rape all because of alcohol.
You know, I've done some stupid shit, but God, well, the fuck.
(09:09):
What the fuck? Seriously?
Who does? Oh, my God.
That was a nice segue from the drunk thing to that was I was wondering
how it's going to fit that in there, but that was perfect.
I've got a good segue from drunken dating app to drunken swatting to
kind of has to do with some drinking slash partying or whatever.
(09:29):
So are you familiar with Liquid Death, the company that does like the water
and the kids? Yeah, I've enjoyed some of that liquid death myself.
I do enjoy it. It's pretty good.
I mean, the gimmick. Hilarious. It's good water for what it is.
So they recently, I guess, an incident at a concert at some point
where some woman in the middle of a pit just decided to pop a squat
and like piss in the middle of the pit because she couldn't get out of it
(09:49):
to get to the bathroom.
So that happened.
And Liquid Death was on that shit immediately
because they put out a limited edition pit diaper for seventy five dollars
made of pleather and studded looks like punk rock diaper that you can wear
so that when you're in the pit and you got to take a piss
and you can't get out of that pit sold out within minutes.
(10:10):
Wow. That does not surprise me one bit.
I can't even imagine.
Go first of all, you're wearing a pleather diaper.
That's got to be uncomfortable.
You're going to be in a sweaty pit full of people.
You're going to be squeaking as you're like
eeee eeee eeee
Leather down between your legs.
But like also the fact that the novel I'm sure it's just because
(10:32):
it's the novelty of it, like that people bought it because I can't imagine
anybody truly using and wearing that during a frigging concert
you would wear on the outside normally.
How scary is it that I know at least two people that would buy that?
And use it actively?
And use it. Yes.
For what it's intended.
Yes. At least two people.
It's so funny.
(10:53):
Their immediate jump to get on something has been like crazy
because I know they've done some other stuff too that have been like
in response to like crazy social things happening like this.
But this one just happened to catch my attention because it was so funny
and it was like limited edition and like sold out in minutes.
Yeah, that doesn't that does not surprise me.
And a lot of people probably just bought that just because it's going to be
(11:13):
a collector's item.
Oh, I'm sure. Yeah.
Water and pit diapers.
You figure it kind of goes together, though, because you're drinking
all that water. Where's it got to go?
So here's a quick personal one.
And this may open up a whole can of worms.
I don't know. But when you go shopping, there's two categories of people here
when it comes to returning the shopping cart.
There's the camp that will always return the cart to the corral because
(11:34):
for that group of people, that seems to be the right thing to do.
And then there's the people that will just leave it wherever the fuck
they want to leave it.
And then their token excuses.
Well, if someone parks there, they can just grab the cart and go.
Which, well, that's what their excuses are for that.
So we already know my stance here.
OK, so we know where Samantha stands on this.
So that sets the tone.
(11:55):
So this happened at a Walmart.
Now, there is a ton of stories I could do about Walmart.
But this one happened to me.
I was in a process of parking at the Walmart that I go to in the parking lot.
Some of the sections of a lot are separated by these little cement medians.
Yes.
It has mulch in it and like a little tree in it, right?
And I parked right there next to that cement median on the other side
(12:17):
of the cement meet, like literally one spot over was the cart corral.
OK.
Before I could even get out of my car, a car parked right in front of me
on the opposite side, but directly in front of me.
Right.
I could look dead in this guy's eyes.
See the whites of their eyes.
Right.
I went in and did my shopping and come back out and I'm getting in my car.
Well, this guy must have been right behind me.
Well, it was it was a man and his wife.
(12:38):
I'm assuming he was my age.
OK.
You know, not too old.
I mean, not old as fucking dirt, but, you know, not young either.
So he comes out with his shopping cart and he starts putting stuff in his car.
And I'm getting all my stuff together and getting ready to go.
And I put my car in reverse to back out.
And as I was doing that, I was watching this man struggle with his cart
because he was trying to put it up on the median.
(12:58):
He was trying to like lift it up and put it onto the cement median
where the tree was when there was a cart corral right next to that.
Five feet away.
Not even five feet away.
Like a foot maybe.
The corral was right there.
He would rather fight pushing the cart down to get the front wheels to come up,
to set it down on the cement median, to put it on that median
instead of putting it into the.
He was like actively saying, I'm not putting this shopping cart into the fucking corral.
(13:20):
I'm just not fucking doing it.
I'm going to put it here instead.
The math don't math with people like that.
I don't.
I put my car back in park.
I said, what the fuck?
And as he was backing out, I got out of my car so he could see me do this.
And I pulled the fucking cart office met media and put it into the fucking corral.
Like, what the fuck is wrong with you, dude?
Be like, I'm going to look you dead in your fucking eyes and shame you
(13:44):
as I'm pushing this cart into where you could have a foot away from your freaking vehicle.
Oh, I love doing that to people.
Well, the next person that comes there, there's a corral right there.
If they want a cart, they can grab one.
Why would you make them have to pull it off the cement median where the tree was?
Not only that, but that's like sheer pettiness of like,
I know there's a car corral right there, but fuck that corral.
You know, it's so funny.
(14:05):
There's just an episode of 9-1-1 that that was the exact premise was cart
shirkers who they just leave it wherever in the parking lot.
This kid who's a shamer who puts like magnets on people's cars.
It's like, you're a shirker.
And he gets his ass whopped.
Yeah.
I'm like, that's so funny that you bring it because I literally just watched that episode yesterday.
I just watched some petty motherfucker.
What the fuck?
(14:26):
That's sheer like, exactly.
Corral.
I have, believe it or not, another Walmart story.
Oh.
This one wasn't me though.
This one is just recent in the news.
It's still, things are developing here.
Mesa, Arizona.
I want to say this kid's name is Charles Smith.
He was influencing, I guess, inside of Walmart.
He thought it would be a great idea or a, as he calls it, prank.
(14:50):
Oh, fuck.
I hate prank influencers.
To shoplift a can of bug spray.
And then take said can of bug spray to the produce department
and start spraying shit all over the produce, fruits, vegetables.
And he lit a lot of shit up with this bug spray and then left.
As he was leaving the Walmart, I guess he was getting some comments on whatever he was streaming on.
(15:15):
Even some of his followers were like, dude, that's seriously fucked up.
That's not a prank.
That was fucking wrong.
You're spraying poison that's not meant to be ingested on shit.
So supposedly he goes back into the Walmart, takes a shopping cart,
and tries to scoop up some of the shit that he sprayed and tries to take it to the back of the store.
By this time.
I'm sure LP and everybody's like seen it on camera and been like, what the fuck is this kid doing?
(15:36):
Yeah, they're all over it.
They arrested him and they took him to jail.
And he was arraigned.
And he told the judge that he's a self-proclaimed troll and that he does pranks for a living.
And he makes anywhere from six to ten thousand dollars a month doing it.
And I'm sure the judge was like, hmm, not anymore.
Not anymore, bitch.
The last thing I heard was they told him, oh, you're online pranks that you're doing?
(16:00):
No, not anymore. You're done. Right.
You're done. You've been trespassed off the Internet, sir.
I don't know how they're going to enforce that because I mean, in what mindset do you have to be that you think
spraying produce with bug spray is a prank?
Because I feel like he's one of those kids that grew up with parents that never said no to anything.
Keyword that you just said there, kid. No, he's twenty seven.
(16:23):
The look on your face was priceless, Samantha.
I still stand by the fact that his parents never said no or anybody in his life has ever said no.
And he's taken it seriously if they have, because to actively think that trolling is a good way to bring in money.
Which, Grant, I mean, if he truly is making six to ten thousand dollars a month.
(16:43):
Wow. Yeah. Wow.
That people pay him that much to be that much of a menace to society.
And clearly, growing up, something happened where he was not or if he was someone tried to teach him a moral compass, it didn't stick.
Well, he's also not the brightest motherfucker on the planet Earth because telling the judge that the judge is probably down
(17:03):
looking at some of these other pranks that he did and they could possibly.
Bring charges for all that shit, too. Yeah, exactly.
Because if you're putting people's health at risk, that's different.
It's one thing to prank somebody and it be a legitimately harmless prank that hurts nobody.
And it's just a silly prank, but something like spraying bug spray, which is not meant to be ingested and is for like outside your body only.
(17:26):
And people are about to eat the shit you just sprayed it all over.
Yeah. What if somebody is allergic to that particular spray you used or some ingredient in it or a kid ingest too much of it and gets poisoning from it?
Because it's like an overdose, essentially. Yeah. Yeah. That's not that's not OK.
When your own followers are telling you that you're fucked in the head. Right.
Something went awry in his youth to lead to him thinking that this is OK behavior.
(17:51):
I have another one, by the way, but this is a quick one. OK.
This is just a seriously, why would you fucking do that?
But this is a personal one. Three days ago, I was shopping.
I just needed something really quick going through the frozen aisle.
Yeah, I see this guy and just the way that he's shopping young guy, you know, super clean cut looking guy.
But he's pulling a shopping cart, not from the handle, but he's pulling it like from the side.
(18:13):
And he's in a hurry. He's on the phone.
And my first thought was he's one of these door dash people or people that are shopping for people.
Right. And he's like on a mission, just like laser line.
And he's on the phone and he's just shopping. Right.
He's doing that. And I'm watching him. It's like busy B.
Like he's bouncing all over the place. Ping pong and around the store.
He stops for a split second to take time to lean down and spit on the floor.
(18:35):
And then he just keeps on going. Eww.
What the? Say it. What the fuck?
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