October 16, 2024 • 33 mins
What the NUTZ Podcast: Weirdest News Stories That Will Make You Question Reality
Dive into the bizarre and mind-boggling world of the weirdest news stories! In this eye-opening video, we explore the most outrageous headlines and strange occurrences that will leave you questioning the very fabric of reality. From unbelievable animal encounters to peculiar human behaviors, these stories are sure to astonish you.
Join us as we break down each story, providing context and insights that highlight just how strange our world can be. Whether you're a fan of the unusual or just looking for a good laugh, this compilation of weird news is perfect for you!
Don't forget to like, subscribe, and hit the notification bell to stay updated on our latest content exploring the weird and wonderful! What story surprised you the most? Let us know in the comments below!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Is that how you eat pussy?
(00:10):
Yeah, sloppy.
I get down in there.
If it doesn't get all over your face, it doesn't belong in there.
I mean, it don't belong in my face, that's for sure.
The following program is rated TVMA.
What you are about to watch contains explicit language, adult themes, violence, and may
(00:32):
not be suitable for viewers under 18.
Viewer discretion is strongly advised.
What the nuts?
Welcome to What the Nuts.
I'm your host, the Blue Collar Joe.
(00:54):
Over there is It's a Mystery.
She's already been started her shenanigans today.
Shenanigans.
Shenanigans.
Her shenanigans.
My shenanigans.
She wanted to let you guys know that she loves all the love that you guys have been giving
her.
Right.
All right.
(01:14):
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
Let's get down to business.
(01:39):
Very good.
Very good.
That was so funny.
It's done.
All right, so I'm your host, Blue Collar Joe.
This is What the Nuts, the podcast where we talk about all the things that drive us nuts.
(02:00):
And we cover a few funny stories that I find on the interwebs.
And apparently it's been driving me nuts.
Driving you somewheres.
Driving you somewheres.
We got some new Florida mans this week.
Oh, yeah.
Fuck yeah.
I still haven't come up with the.
(02:22):
As a matter of fact, I think we're going to start using that one bumper for the Florida
man bumper.
What bumper is that?
You'll know.
You'll see.
You'll see.
All right.
Drop it like it's hot.
Drop it like it's hot.
I'm going to drop it like it.
Like hit that fucking hit that bell.
(02:43):
Subscribe.
Follow.
Leave a.
Leave a comment.
Or two.
Or go to the website and tell me what I'm doing wrong.
Talk shit to me.
Everything.
Fucking love it.
Love it.
You're doing great, buddy.
First of all, the first complaint will be what the hell do you have that stupid bitch
(03:05):
on there for?
Get her off your fucking plate.
Nobody says that.
That's the first complaint.
No, it's not.
We'll see.
The first complaint.
OK, you want me to tell you what the first comments we need to call you?
Hey, do you want me to tell you what the first complaint was?
Me up here.
Do you want me to tell you what the first complaint was?
Yes.
It was because I fucking go, uh, uh, uh, oh, because you're normal.
(03:34):
Yeah, because I'm normal.
Right.
Yeah.
Some some jackass was like, well, you're you fucking say, oh, too much.
That was the first complaint.
So I stopped doing that.
Well, now it's me.
It's not you.
Howdy, y'all.
It's not you.
You are not.
You know, nobody complains about you.
(03:56):
We need some comments.
Y'all.
All right.
All right.
Let's jump into this first story right here.
We're in Florida.
I'm not Florida.
You may be in Florida, but I'm not Florida.
You know, it's afternoon.
I still can't my wine.
You can have your wine.
No, we're not in UK.
Look, I don't know who made that fucking dumb rule up.
(04:19):
I'm going to tell you right now, if I worked all night long and I wanted a fucking beer
at eight o'clock in the morning after I got off work, I would fucking drink a beer at
eight o'clock in the morning.
Well, I didn't work last night.
I worked sleeping.
I'm just saying.
I slept and it's not five o'clock here.
So I'm not having my wine yet.
(04:41):
Unfortunately for you.
Why is that unfortunate for me?
Are you going to try and do something bad to my body later?
Get some wine.
Get some wine just to get her loose enough.
Loosen up.
And then, and then she slaps her old butthole on me.
(05:07):
Exit only.
I didn't say I was going to put anything in it.
I say you're going to slap it on me.
How do you say a butthole on you?
I don't know.
I don't understand.
I don't know.
I can't even wrap my head around that.
Yeah, me neither.
(05:27):
We need a phone call in the station.
No, no phone calls.
Yeah, we need phone calls so that people can help me understand how to slap a butthole
on you.
Because that's the only way.
I can't figure it out because I can't wrap my mind around it.
That's the only way?
Yeah, because someone's got to give me information on how to do that.
(05:48):
So, if someone could, somehow, text something, help assist out over here.
I guess I'm drowning in butthole.
How you drowning in butthole?
I don't know, you slapping a butthole?
(06:10):
I don't know.
I'm just trying to figure shit out over here.
Clearly.
Are you ready to jump into this first?
As long as it's not jumping into a butthole, I'm okay.
Let's do it.
All right.
And standing watch accidentally shoots a pal using walker to death when he mistook him
(06:38):
for a threat.
A Florida man is behind bars because he accidentally shot his friend while they were standing watch
outside a home because they felt threatened by someone else.
The cops arrived, they found a 44-year-old man suffering from a gunshot wound.
(07:02):
Paramedics pronounced him dead and the investigation ensued.
Detectives determined that the victim and his buddy, 41-year-old David Luling Cooke.
(07:24):
I think that's how you say it.
That somebody may be trying to harm him, harm them.
So the pair stood watch outside of, oh, so they weren't even at their house.
They were at Cooke's sister's house.
And that fool was at a fucking walker.
Clap, clap, clap, clap.
(07:46):
Holy.
Shot him dead.
Shot him dead.
Sounds to me like it was a mistaken identity thing.
You know, like he fucking took some acid or something.
Bath salts.
Ate some shrooms.
Bath salts.
Bath salts.
You know, Florida's about fast.
Are they?
Yeah.
Are they?
Too much bath salts with his walker.
(08:08):
He mistaken.
That's what he did, yeah.
He mistaken his hemorrhoid cream.
Bath salts.
Oh shit.
Yeah.
Well, I didn't know you could smoke hemorrhoid cream.
Apparently you can't.
(08:33):
I mean, you can smoke a dude with a walker.
I don't even know how you can do that unless, like, was it on part of the walker?
Was it a gun?
He took the walker and went, down, down, down, down, down.
I don't know.
There's no video.
There's no video.
I thought that was funny.
That's some.
That was pretty freaking hilarious.
All right.
You ready?
New Jersey.
(08:54):
New Jersey.
Here we go.
New Jersey woman had 25 pounds of pot wrapped as a Christmas gift on spirit flight.
So she got on the spirit flight or they got her going to the airport.
(09:15):
The spirit flight, that's an airline.
Yeah.
Spirit.
Spirit Airlines.
So she got through all that.
So a 23 year old New Jersey woman tried to smuggle nearly 25 pounds of marijuana and
Christmas wrapping paper on a spirit airlines flight last week.
She was going to the Virgin Islands.
(09:36):
What was she going to put it in?
Like a fucking safe deposit box?
Some people retarded.
Okay.
This is true.
This is true.
I don't, I just don't understand.
Like, okay.
First of all, don't you, can you smell that shit?
(09:57):
So, so a canine signal to customs and border protection against that.
A check bag contained drugs when the flight from Fort Lauderdale, Florida landed in St.
Croix.
So they didn't even find it when she took off.
They found it when she was in the Virgin Islands.
Wow.
(10:17):
Well, there you go.
You want to fly spirit.
There you go.
Y'all and agents.
Okay.
So, so the dog, the dog alerted to it.
Right.
And then agents were like, well, let's put it out there and see who fucking gets the
bag.
Right.
So I put it on the baggage claim and obviously this dumb bitch was like, that's my bag full
(10:48):
of weed.
I'm sure they could smell it.
Like I can smell them.
Once someone walks past me.
No, it's not smoked weed.
It doesn't matter.
You can still smell it.
I can smell regular weed.
Oh, I can.
That's because you have bionic nose.
You smell when mice fart outside.
(11:12):
You're like, what is that fucking smell?
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't smell nothing.
Oh, now she, and she told investigators that she did not know that there was marijuana
in the luggage because it had been packed by a friend with whom she traveled to St.
Thomas.
Authority said in court papers.
(11:33):
So she's trying to put this shit on somebody else.
Wow.
Hmm.
Hmm.
The funny thing is she thought she got away with it because it flown so far.
She was released on a $50,000 bond.
Yeah.
Dumbass.
(11:55):
All right, here we go.
Here we go.
I want to say this is taking us to India.
(12:15):
India's Uttar Pradesh state.
I think that's how you say it.
I'm sure somebody in the comments will fucking correct me.
So this one, this one is quite interesting.
Yeah.
Are they naked or having sex or doing drugs?
Not yet.
(12:36):
Not yet.
No bath salts.
No bath salts.
This is in India.
So an Indian woman recently filed for divorce from her husband after only 40 days, claiming
he only bathed once or twice in that 40 days.
(12:59):
Wow.
Stinky stinky.
Uh-huh.
Get some cottage cheese around the ball sack.
I wouldn't want to be married to him either.
It was like, what's that stuff right there on the bed?
(13:24):
Cottage cheese.
Yeah.
I'm growing my own cheese right here.
My balls.
Well, at least you have food for 40 days.
Oh shit.
Oh my God.
That's so gross.
Really?
He liked it.
Well, I guess they didn't consummate the marriage or she didn't, she couldn't handle, she couldn't
(13:48):
handle the smell enough to get aroused.
Like they're like, like literally she said that it was, it was so gross.
She couldn't, she couldn't be intimate with him.
You know, I'm thinking if he's growing cheese, she probably would be growing cheese too.
(14:11):
She's got yeast.
I know.
So yeast and cheese.
Yeah.
They're trying to make bread or something.
Trying to make cheese bread.
Yeah.
I heard that some good, you know, Indian bread.
Oh, I'm never going to eat Indian bread the same again.
(14:31):
Oh shit.
Oh my.
She's done.
She's done.
She's over fucking Indian bread.
And I really thought it was good at one time.
Now I'm going to think it's a lying story.
(14:53):
It's cheese bread.
This guy and his cheese and her and her and her yeast making cheese bread in the bed.
I wonder where the garlic comes from.
Stupid.
Oh my God.
This is bullshit.
(15:20):
Now I'm going to fucking think about this shit.
My fucking mind works like this.
Fuck.
They don't.
They don't use it for bread.
I don't know.
There's a reason why he didn't shower.
(15:42):
Maybe because showers are expensive over there.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I've never been there.
Okay.
Well, I don't know if they have showers there.
Cheese bread.
Cheese bread.
Cheese bread is my favorite Texas toast.
Oh, I don't.
I don't.
I've never eaten the cheese bread.
The Indian style.
We're not going to.
(16:03):
It might be good.
I'm taking a disclaimer on this shit.
Nasty.
(16:26):
Nasty.
All right.
20 year old man takes own mother to court for throwing away his comic collection.
Guess where this is at.
(16:48):
Florida.
Taiwan.
Seriously?
Yeah.
Taiwan.
I didn't even know they had comic books over there.
Yeah.
Well, they do.
They don't read them right to left.
They read them left to right.
Isn't that Magna?
Magna?
Maga?
(17:08):
Muga?
Muga?
Something like that?
Manga.
Manga.
I knew it was something with an M. Shit.
Look, I'm not hip with this shit.
Me neither.
Me neither.
That's a.
It's probably Manga and it's probably the sexual one.
That's probably why she threw it away because he was.
No, there's a picture of it.
There's a picture of it.
It's like, um, it looks to me like it's, uh, one piece.
(17:36):
It's one piece.
Really, bro?
Yeah.
All right.
I like my story better that it was a freaking Manga and it was a sexual one and the mom
caught him in his room playing with himself, reading this stupid manga and said, Oh hell
no.
You know, it's going in the trash and he got a little mad about it.
All right.
So the mom is 64 and the guy is 20.
(18:02):
He had 32.
Oh no.
It was attack on Titan.
I think we have some of those in the garage.
We should send them to him.
Oh yeah.
Sorry about your stuff.
All right.
So, so when she stumbled over his, uh, attack on Titan manga collection and determined that
(18:26):
the volumes were a little damp, she decided to recycle them and free up some much needed
space.
They were damp.
She never checked.
She never checked with her son if it was okay.
And when he came home and learned that his 32 volumes were gone, he was extremely angry
and ended up calling the police on his mom.
Okay.
(18:46):
Can we go back to why they're damp?
Cause I think my theory was right.
All right.
I think my theory was right.
He was being a naughty, naughty boy.
And they were wet and sticky and she threw him away because she didn't realize that they're
wet and sticky because they're his favorite.
(19:08):
So he got his fillers hurt because she threw away his favorite and, and you know, that's
not right.
You throw away a man's favorite thing that he gets sticky with.
That's how I got that story.
(19:30):
Because if you go back and you said they were damp.
Yeah.
Okay.
Why would they damp?
Really?
Maybe because they were in the basement where he lived.
Okay.
I like my story better.
I think we all agree.
My story is better than your story.
(19:54):
So did he win his dampy?
I it doesn't say the incident took place in February of this year.
They find them on fucking 5,000 Taiwanese dollars.
Oh, wow.
That's 160 bucks.
That's not, they're worth more than that.
They're the $160 US.
(20:19):
I think they're like $15 a piece or something like that.
Yeah.
Here.
Here.
All right.
Poor guy.
Yeah.
So poor.
So poor.
So poor.
So.
All right.
All right.
Florida, man.
Okay.
Ready?
(20:39):
We're going to do a, here's the bumper.
You need Jesus.
Jesus Christ.
That's Jason Bourne.
You two motherfuckers need Jesus.
Holy Jesus.
Hell yeah.
It's time for Florida, man.
Yo.
It's time for Florida.
Yo.
It's time for Florida.
Yo.
It's time for Florida.
Yo.
It's time for Florida.
Yo.
It's time for Florida.
Yo.
It's time for Florida.
It's time for Florida, man.
(21:00):
Motherfucker needs Jesus.
Oh God.
Okay.
Okay.
Here we go.
We're fucking Monroe County.
Monroe County, Florida.
Okay.
I don't know where that is, but okay.
You ready?
Yeah, I'm ready.
Ready.
You ready?
Yeah.
Ready.
Ready.
Ready.
Ready.
Ready.
Ready.
Ready.
(21:21):
Ready.
Ready.
Ready.
Ready.
Ready.
Ready.
Ready.
Ready.
Ready.
Ready.
Ready.
Ready.
Ready.
You're gonna like this one.
Uh.
He's a fucking winner.
A weiner?
Yeah.
Did you say weiner?
He's winning.
Oh, he's winning.
(21:42):
I thought you said he was a weiner.
Yeah.
Florida man drunk and stone pulls down pants and says he'll kill cops and rape their canine.
Yep.
He's a weiner.
And what is he gonna kill the canine with?
With his pants down.
With his penis.
What the hell you didn't you didn't you didn't hear that part? I heard the pants down
(22:04):
Yeah, but he didn't say he was gonna kill the canine. He said he was gonna rape it
Which is leader?
I don't know
Debbie said they observed the 67 year old Walter Frank camp driving southbound in a Kia SUV
(22:26):
speeding and passing illegally on US 1 on
Big Pine Key after pulling him over Debbie said they saw an open beer can and noticed the smell of marijuana. Oh
Florida man was clearly intoxicated
(22:46):
The Kia was reported stolen out of Blaine, Washington
Oh
Wow
After searching the car 51 grams of marijuana edibles were found
Camp claimed they were medicinal right before his arrest. He drops his pants and exposes himself to drivers going by
(23:09):
Camps in allegedly told one deputy that he was going to
Fuck his wife and children and then killed him
He claimed to be a mercenary and
With the penis and took care of bad people
Yeah, I made multiple statements that
(23:29):
reference raping and then murdering the Japanese canine dog Mako
my god
He probably
Jesus
the fucking
(23:50):
The fuck
The charges are intimidation vehicle theft marijuana possession public order crime indecent exposure
resisting an officer DUI
moving
Moving traffic violation. I don't know what that one is and resist officer. Oh
Oh, it's from a sound of it that doesn't sound like he was resisting the officer he wanted on the way on the way to
(24:14):
Joe can't made a probably 300 statements about killing and raping the arresting deputy and his wife
Yep
There's no resisting there. He was like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, this guy's uh, he's uh, he's a special. He's a wiener. He's a special
I'm a special. All right. This takes us to Gainesville, Florida this one
(24:39):
So Florida man steals excavator and goes for joy ride
Okay
Florida man steals excavator the story is going to end
That he crashes into a Walmart Florida man loves Walmart
(24:59):
We've had plenty of stories up here about Florida man's ex-bates and his favorite department store
We have Florida man found crawling through the ceiling at Walmart
Two Florida men that both exposed themselves out Walmart while driving motor fights cards and even a Florida man
(25:20):
Set up a meth lab in a Walmart parking lot. Wow
So Walmart attracts Florida man like monster flame
According to the Gainesville
Police department Florida man went for a joy ride before crashing into Walmart
(25:40):
The machete wielding Florida man hotwired the
$350,000 excavation
Florida man hotwired the $350,000 excavator and drove it around green
He stole the excavator from a construction site and drove it through the chain link fence crashing into storage
(26:03):
Storage unit to yeah. Yeah
he then continued to
Journey crashing into electric poles light poles taking them down exposing the public to live electric wires
He then proceeded to
To the loading dog and crashed into Walmart
(26:26):
At this point floor man jumped out and ran with this machete into Walmart at which point he discarded the knife
He originally refused to put his hands behind his back and resisted when police showed up
Dude caused two million dollars in damage
(26:48):
Yep
There's no other explanation like
He has to have been on bath salt like
Something huh something because
Yeah, I'm gonna wake up one day and decide I'm just gonna go out and just do this
(27:11):
Right
All right our last story our last story
naked Florida man drinks two liter of vodka two liters of vodka and
Burns down house baking cookies on George Foreman Grill
There's a picture of the cookies too, they're like they look like oatmeal cookies
naked you said naked
(27:33):
This is Uncle Lusa drinking vodka yeah
These are all old stories so like if you look them up, they're gonna be like fucking like several years old
He's probably ashamed of himself now cuz he know he's made the newspaper. Oh, he's probably still in prison. He's burned the house down
(27:54):
His fault that the cookies in front of them on there
He should have been doing hot dogs on the former girl
matches
On the former girl matches, okay
(28:18):
Two officers from Niceville Police Department went to assist firefighters at a home in Niceville
When they arrived the officer said white smoke coming from the house good could smell something burning according to the incident
report a
Man answered the door said he was sorry then closed it the individual was naked
(28:43):
And in a smoke-filled house with items on fire inside it
Bro put some clothes on save yourself
Oh, oh my god
Want to save his cookies instead of himself, right? Yeah, he's like I spent hours drinking this vodka and making these cookies
(29:07):
I'm not about to get clothes on I need to say these cookies
The best cookies are made
They're the best cookies you don't need a unique Jesus
Because you know he's got making for the PTA
So they had to be the best cookies this is this is what happened with this guy
(29:35):
Sorry, we'll see you in the showcase showdown
All right, that's our show
Do not pass go do not collect $200 no you don't get a second spin
(29:56):
Sorry about your bad luck, that's right
All right, all right, that's our show that's our show you got anything else funny to say
Oh, no, did you just fart?
No, I burped. Oh, well, you didn't burp into the microphone. No, cuz they're listening. They already don't like me
(30:19):
I'm gonna burp into the mic. Yeah
No, yeah
Why not?
Why should sexy as fuck? Oh, yes
So sexy. Hmm. Loppy.
Loppy. All right
Thank you for joining us. Thank you. And if you made it this far. Yeah. Thank you guys
(30:42):
You made it this far
Hit that like hit that follow
Hit the bell hit the bell
So, yeah, so you can get the notifications this fucking brod
This fucking no see yeah. Yes. No
(31:06):
All right, y'all have a super fine one
I'm your host the blue-collar Joe. That's it's a mystery and
We're gone
Like a fart in the wind
(31:46):
Oh
(32:16):
Oh
(32:46):
Oh
(33:16):
I
Hope you've been looking for me bitch. Here I go. I
Hope you've been looking for me bitch. Here I go. I
Here that you looking for me bitch. Here I go
Is that how you eat pussy?
(00:10):
Yeah, sloppy.
I get down in there.
If it doesn't get all over your face, it doesn't belong in there.
I mean, it don't belong in my face, that's for sure.
The following program is rated TVMA.
What you are about to watch contains explicit language, adult themes, violence, and may
(00:32):
not be suitable for viewers under 18.
Viewer discretion is strongly advised.
What the nuts?
Welcome to What the Nuts.
I'm your host, the Blue Collar Joe.
(00:54):
Over there is It's a Mystery.
She's already been started her shenanigans today.
Shenanigans.
Shenanigans.
Her shenanigans.
My shenanigans.
She wanted to let you guys know that she loves all the love that you guys have been giving
her.
Right.
All right.
(01:14):
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
Let's get down to business.
(01:39):
Very good.
Very good.
That was so funny.
It's done.
All right, so I'm your host, Blue Collar Joe.
This is What the Nuts, the podcast where we talk about all the things that drive us nuts.
(02:00):
And we cover a few funny stories that I find on the interwebs.
And apparently it's been driving me nuts.
Driving you somewheres.
Driving you somewheres.
We got some new Florida mans this week.
Oh, yeah.
Fuck yeah.
I still haven't come up with the.
(02:22):
As a matter of fact, I think we're going to start using that one bumper for the Florida
man bumper.
What bumper is that?
You'll know.
You'll see.
You'll see.
All right.
Drop it like it's hot.
Drop it like it's hot.
I'm going to drop it like it.
Like hit that fucking hit that bell.
(02:43):
Subscribe.
Follow.
Leave a.
Leave a comment.
Or two.
Or go to the website and tell me what I'm doing wrong.
Talk shit to me.
Everything.
Fucking love it.
Love it.
You're doing great, buddy.
First of all, the first complaint will be what the hell do you have that stupid bitch
(03:05):
on there for?
Get her off your fucking plate.
Nobody says that.
That's the first complaint.
No, it's not.
We'll see.
The first complaint.
OK, you want me to tell you what the first comments we need to call you?
Hey, do you want me to tell you what the first complaint was?
Me up here.
Do you want me to tell you what the first complaint was?
Yes.
It was because I fucking go, uh, uh, uh, oh, because you're normal.
(03:34):
Yeah, because I'm normal.
Right.
Yeah.
Some some jackass was like, well, you're you fucking say, oh, too much.
That was the first complaint.
So I stopped doing that.
Well, now it's me.
It's not you.
Howdy, y'all.
It's not you.
You are not.
You know, nobody complains about you.
(03:56):
We need some comments.
Y'all.
All right.
All right.
Let's jump into this first story right here.
We're in Florida.
I'm not Florida.
You may be in Florida, but I'm not Florida.
You know, it's afternoon.
I still can't my wine.
You can have your wine.
No, we're not in UK.
Look, I don't know who made that fucking dumb rule up.
(04:19):
I'm going to tell you right now, if I worked all night long and I wanted a fucking beer
at eight o'clock in the morning after I got off work, I would fucking drink a beer at
eight o'clock in the morning.
Well, I didn't work last night.
I worked sleeping.
I'm just saying.
I slept and it's not five o'clock here.
So I'm not having my wine yet.
(04:41):
Unfortunately for you.
Why is that unfortunate for me?
Are you going to try and do something bad to my body later?
Get some wine.
Get some wine just to get her loose enough.
Loosen up.
And then, and then she slaps her old butthole on me.
(05:07):
Exit only.
I didn't say I was going to put anything in it.
I say you're going to slap it on me.
How do you say a butthole on you?
I don't know.
I don't understand.
I don't know.
I can't even wrap my head around that.
Yeah, me neither.
(05:27):
We need a phone call in the station.
No, no phone calls.
Yeah, we need phone calls so that people can help me understand how to slap a butthole
on you.
Because that's the only way.
I can't figure it out because I can't wrap my mind around it.
That's the only way?
Yeah, because someone's got to give me information on how to do that.
(05:48):
So, if someone could, somehow, text something, help assist out over here.
I guess I'm drowning in butthole.
How you drowning in butthole?
I don't know, you slapping a butthole?
(06:10):
I don't know.
I'm just trying to figure shit out over here.
Clearly.
Are you ready to jump into this first?
As long as it's not jumping into a butthole, I'm okay.
Let's do it.
All right.
And standing watch accidentally shoots a pal using walker to death when he mistook him
(06:38):
for a threat.
A Florida man is behind bars because he accidentally shot his friend while they were standing watch
outside a home because they felt threatened by someone else.
The cops arrived, they found a 44-year-old man suffering from a gunshot wound.
(07:02):
Paramedics pronounced him dead and the investigation ensued.
Detectives determined that the victim and his buddy, 41-year-old David Luling Cooke.
(07:24):
I think that's how you say it.
That somebody may be trying to harm him, harm them.
So the pair stood watch outside of, oh, so they weren't even at their house.
They were at Cooke's sister's house.
And that fool was at a fucking walker.
Clap, clap, clap, clap.
(07:46):
Holy.
Shot him dead.
Shot him dead.
Sounds to me like it was a mistaken identity thing.
You know, like he fucking took some acid or something.
Bath salts.
Ate some shrooms.
Bath salts.
Bath salts.
You know, Florida's about fast.
Are they?
Yeah.
Are they?
Too much bath salts with his walker.
(08:08):
He mistaken.
That's what he did, yeah.
He mistaken his hemorrhoid cream.
Bath salts.
Oh shit.
Yeah.
Well, I didn't know you could smoke hemorrhoid cream.
Apparently you can't.
(08:33):
I mean, you can smoke a dude with a walker.
I don't even know how you can do that unless, like, was it on part of the walker?
Was it a gun?
He took the walker and went, down, down, down, down, down.
I don't know.
There's no video.
There's no video.
I thought that was funny.
That's some.
That was pretty freaking hilarious.
All right.
You ready?
New Jersey.
(08:54):
New Jersey.
Here we go.
New Jersey woman had 25 pounds of pot wrapped as a Christmas gift on spirit flight.
So she got on the spirit flight or they got her going to the airport.
(09:15):
The spirit flight, that's an airline.
Yeah.
Spirit.
Spirit Airlines.
So she got through all that.
So a 23 year old New Jersey woman tried to smuggle nearly 25 pounds of marijuana and
Christmas wrapping paper on a spirit airlines flight last week.
She was going to the Virgin Islands.
(09:36):
What was she going to put it in?
Like a fucking safe deposit box?
Some people retarded.
Okay.
This is true.
This is true.
I don't, I just don't understand.
Like, okay.
First of all, don't you, can you smell that shit?
(09:57):
So, so a canine signal to customs and border protection against that.
A check bag contained drugs when the flight from Fort Lauderdale, Florida landed in St.
Croix.
So they didn't even find it when she took off.
They found it when she was in the Virgin Islands.
Wow.
(10:17):
Well, there you go.
You want to fly spirit.
There you go.
Y'all and agents.
Okay.
So, so the dog, the dog alerted to it.
Right.
And then agents were like, well, let's put it out there and see who fucking gets the
bag.
Right.
So I put it on the baggage claim and obviously this dumb bitch was like, that's my bag full
(10:48):
of weed.
I'm sure they could smell it.
Like I can smell them.
Once someone walks past me.
No, it's not smoked weed.
It doesn't matter.
You can still smell it.
I can smell regular weed.
Oh, I can.
That's because you have bionic nose.
You smell when mice fart outside.
(11:12):
You're like, what is that fucking smell?
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't smell nothing.
Oh, now she, and she told investigators that she did not know that there was marijuana
in the luggage because it had been packed by a friend with whom she traveled to St.
Thomas.
Authority said in court papers.
(11:33):
So she's trying to put this shit on somebody else.
Wow.
Hmm.
Hmm.
The funny thing is she thought she got away with it because it flown so far.
She was released on a $50,000 bond.
Yeah.
Dumbass.
(11:55):
All right, here we go.
Here we go.
I want to say this is taking us to India.
(12:15):
India's Uttar Pradesh state.
I think that's how you say it.
I'm sure somebody in the comments will fucking correct me.
So this one, this one is quite interesting.
Yeah.
Are they naked or having sex or doing drugs?
Not yet.
(12:36):
Not yet.
No bath salts.
No bath salts.
This is in India.
So an Indian woman recently filed for divorce from her husband after only 40 days, claiming
he only bathed once or twice in that 40 days.
(12:59):
Wow.
Stinky stinky.
Uh-huh.
Get some cottage cheese around the ball sack.
I wouldn't want to be married to him either.
It was like, what's that stuff right there on the bed?
(13:24):
Cottage cheese.
Yeah.
I'm growing my own cheese right here.
My balls.
Well, at least you have food for 40 days.
Oh shit.
Oh my God.
That's so gross.
Really?
He liked it.
Well, I guess they didn't consummate the marriage or she didn't, she couldn't handle, she couldn't
(13:48):
handle the smell enough to get aroused.
Like they're like, like literally she said that it was, it was so gross.
She couldn't, she couldn't be intimate with him.
You know, I'm thinking if he's growing cheese, she probably would be growing cheese too.
(14:11):
She's got yeast.
I know.
So yeast and cheese.
Yeah.
They're trying to make bread or something.
Trying to make cheese bread.
Yeah.
I heard that some good, you know, Indian bread.
Oh, I'm never going to eat Indian bread the same again.
(14:31):
Oh shit.
Oh my.
She's done.
She's done.
She's over fucking Indian bread.
And I really thought it was good at one time.
Now I'm going to think it's a lying story.
(14:53):
It's cheese bread.
This guy and his cheese and her and her and her yeast making cheese bread in the bed.
I wonder where the garlic comes from.
Stupid.
Oh my God.
This is bullshit.
(15:20):
Now I'm going to fucking think about this shit.
My fucking mind works like this.
Fuck.
They don't.
They don't use it for bread.
I don't know.
There's a reason why he didn't shower.
(15:42):
Maybe because showers are expensive over there.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I've never been there.
Okay.
Well, I don't know if they have showers there.
Cheese bread.
Cheese bread.
Cheese bread is my favorite Texas toast.
Oh, I don't.
I don't.
I've never eaten the cheese bread.
The Indian style.
We're not going to.
(16:03):
It might be good.
I'm taking a disclaimer on this shit.
Nasty.
(16:26):
Nasty.
All right.
20 year old man takes own mother to court for throwing away his comic collection.
Guess where this is at.
(16:48):
Florida.
Taiwan.
Seriously?
Yeah.
Taiwan.
I didn't even know they had comic books over there.
Yeah.
Well, they do.
They don't read them right to left.
They read them left to right.
Isn't that Magna?
Magna?
Maga?
(17:08):
Muga?
Muga?
Something like that?
Manga.
Manga.
I knew it was something with an M. Shit.
Look, I'm not hip with this shit.
Me neither.
Me neither.
That's a.
It's probably Manga and it's probably the sexual one.
That's probably why she threw it away because he was.
No, there's a picture of it.
There's a picture of it.
It's like, um, it looks to me like it's, uh, one piece.
(17:36):
It's one piece.
Really, bro?
Yeah.
All right.
I like my story better that it was a freaking Manga and it was a sexual one and the mom
caught him in his room playing with himself, reading this stupid manga and said, Oh hell
no.
You know, it's going in the trash and he got a little mad about it.
All right.
So the mom is 64 and the guy is 20.
(18:02):
He had 32.
Oh no.
It was attack on Titan.
I think we have some of those in the garage.
We should send them to him.
Oh yeah.
Sorry about your stuff.
All right.
So, so when she stumbled over his, uh, attack on Titan manga collection and determined that
(18:26):
the volumes were a little damp, she decided to recycle them and free up some much needed
space.
They were damp.
She never checked.
She never checked with her son if it was okay.
And when he came home and learned that his 32 volumes were gone, he was extremely angry
and ended up calling the police on his mom.
Okay.
(18:46):
Can we go back to why they're damp?
Cause I think my theory was right.
All right.
I think my theory was right.
He was being a naughty, naughty boy.
And they were wet and sticky and she threw him away because she didn't realize that they're
wet and sticky because they're his favorite.
(19:08):
So he got his fillers hurt because she threw away his favorite and, and you know, that's
not right.
You throw away a man's favorite thing that he gets sticky with.
That's how I got that story.
(19:30):
Because if you go back and you said they were damp.
Yeah.
Okay.
Why would they damp?
Really?
Maybe because they were in the basement where he lived.
Okay.
I like my story better.
I think we all agree.
My story is better than your story.
(19:54):
So did he win his dampy?
I it doesn't say the incident took place in February of this year.
They find them on fucking 5,000 Taiwanese dollars.
Oh, wow.
That's 160 bucks.
That's not, they're worth more than that.
They're the $160 US.
(20:19):
I think they're like $15 a piece or something like that.
Yeah.
Here.
Here.
All right.
Poor guy.
Yeah.
So poor.
So poor.
So poor.
So.
All right.
All right.
Florida, man.
Okay.
Ready?
(20:39):
We're going to do a, here's the bumper.
You need Jesus.
Jesus Christ.
That's Jason Bourne.
You two motherfuckers need Jesus.
Holy Jesus.
Hell yeah.
It's time for Florida, man.
Yo.
It's time for Florida.
Yo.
It's time for Florida.
Yo.
It's time for Florida.
Yo.
It's time for Florida.
Yo.
It's time for Florida.
Yo.
It's time for Florida.
It's time for Florida, man.
(21:00):
Motherfucker needs Jesus.
Oh God.
Okay.
Okay.
Here we go.
We're fucking Monroe County.
Monroe County, Florida.
Okay.
I don't know where that is, but okay.
You ready?
Yeah, I'm ready.
Ready.
You ready?
Yeah.
Ready.
Ready.
Ready.
Ready.
Ready.
Ready.
Ready.
(21:21):
Ready.
Ready.
Ready.
Ready.
Ready.
Ready.
Ready.
Ready.
Ready.
Ready.
Ready.
Ready.
Ready.
You're gonna like this one.
Uh.
He's a fucking winner.
A weiner?
Yeah.
Did you say weiner?
He's winning.
Oh, he's winning.
(21:42):
I thought you said he was a weiner.
Yeah.
Florida man drunk and stone pulls down pants and says he'll kill cops and rape their canine.
Yep.
He's a weiner.
And what is he gonna kill the canine with?
With his pants down.
With his penis.
What the hell you didn't you didn't you didn't hear that part? I heard the pants down
(22:04):
Yeah, but he didn't say he was gonna kill the canine. He said he was gonna rape it
Which is leader?
I don't know
Debbie said they observed the 67 year old Walter Frank camp driving southbound in a Kia SUV
(22:26):
speeding and passing illegally on US 1 on
Big Pine Key after pulling him over Debbie said they saw an open beer can and noticed the smell of marijuana. Oh
Florida man was clearly intoxicated
(22:46):
The Kia was reported stolen out of Blaine, Washington
Oh
Wow
After searching the car 51 grams of marijuana edibles were found
Camp claimed they were medicinal right before his arrest. He drops his pants and exposes himself to drivers going by
(23:09):
Camps in allegedly told one deputy that he was going to
Fuck his wife and children and then killed him
He claimed to be a mercenary and
With the penis and took care of bad people
Yeah, I made multiple statements that
(23:29):
reference raping and then murdering the Japanese canine dog Mako
my god
He probably
Jesus
the fucking
(23:50):
The fuck
The charges are intimidation vehicle theft marijuana possession public order crime indecent exposure
resisting an officer DUI
moving
Moving traffic violation. I don't know what that one is and resist officer. Oh
Oh, it's from a sound of it that doesn't sound like he was resisting the officer he wanted on the way on the way to
(24:14):
Joe can't made a probably 300 statements about killing and raping the arresting deputy and his wife
Yep
There's no resisting there. He was like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, this guy's uh, he's uh, he's a special. He's a wiener. He's a special
I'm a special. All right. This takes us to Gainesville, Florida this one
(24:39):
So Florida man steals excavator and goes for joy ride
Okay
Florida man steals excavator the story is going to end
That he crashes into a Walmart Florida man loves Walmart
(24:59):
We've had plenty of stories up here about Florida man's ex-bates and his favorite department store
We have Florida man found crawling through the ceiling at Walmart
Two Florida men that both exposed themselves out Walmart while driving motor fights cards and even a Florida man
(25:20):
Set up a meth lab in a Walmart parking lot. Wow
So Walmart attracts Florida man like monster flame
According to the Gainesville
Police department Florida man went for a joy ride before crashing into Walmart
(25:40):
The machete wielding Florida man hotwired the
$350,000 excavation
Florida man hotwired the $350,000 excavator and drove it around green
He stole the excavator from a construction site and drove it through the chain link fence crashing into storage
(26:03):
Storage unit to yeah. Yeah
he then continued to
Journey crashing into electric poles light poles taking them down exposing the public to live electric wires
He then proceeded to
To the loading dog and crashed into Walmart
(26:26):
At this point floor man jumped out and ran with this machete into Walmart at which point he discarded the knife
He originally refused to put his hands behind his back and resisted when police showed up
Dude caused two million dollars in damage
(26:48):
Yep
There's no other explanation like
He has to have been on bath salt like
Something huh something because
Yeah, I'm gonna wake up one day and decide I'm just gonna go out and just do this
(27:11):
Right
All right our last story our last story
naked Florida man drinks two liter of vodka two liters of vodka and
Burns down house baking cookies on George Foreman Grill
There's a picture of the cookies too, they're like they look like oatmeal cookies
naked you said naked
(27:33):
This is Uncle Lusa drinking vodka yeah
These are all old stories so like if you look them up, they're gonna be like fucking like several years old
He's probably ashamed of himself now cuz he know he's made the newspaper. Oh, he's probably still in prison. He's burned the house down
(27:54):
His fault that the cookies in front of them on there
He should have been doing hot dogs on the former girl
matches
On the former girl matches, okay
(28:18):
Two officers from Niceville Police Department went to assist firefighters at a home in Niceville
When they arrived the officer said white smoke coming from the house good could smell something burning according to the incident
report a
Man answered the door said he was sorry then closed it the individual was naked
(28:43):
And in a smoke-filled house with items on fire inside it
Bro put some clothes on save yourself
Oh, oh my god
Want to save his cookies instead of himself, right? Yeah, he's like I spent hours drinking this vodka and making these cookies
(29:07):
I'm not about to get clothes on I need to say these cookies
The best cookies are made
They're the best cookies you don't need a unique Jesus
Because you know he's got making for the PTA
So they had to be the best cookies this is this is what happened with this guy
(29:35):
Sorry, we'll see you in the showcase showdown
All right, that's our show
Do not pass go do not collect $200 no you don't get a second spin
(29:56):
Sorry about your bad luck, that's right
All right, all right, that's our show that's our show you got anything else funny to say
Oh, no, did you just fart?
No, I burped. Oh, well, you didn't burp into the microphone. No, cuz they're listening. They already don't like me
(30:19):
I'm gonna burp into the mic. Yeah
No, yeah
Why not?
Why should sexy as fuck? Oh, yes
So sexy. Hmm. Loppy.
Loppy. All right
Thank you for joining us. Thank you. And if you made it this far. Yeah. Thank you guys
(30:42):
You made it this far
Hit that like hit that follow
Hit the bell hit the bell
So, yeah, so you can get the notifications this fucking brod
This fucking no see yeah. Yes. No
(31:06):
All right, y'all have a super fine one
I'm your host the blue-collar Joe. That's it's a mystery and
We're gone
Like a fart in the wind
(31:46):
Oh
(32:16):
Oh
(32:46):
Oh
(33:16):
I
Hope you've been looking for me bitch. Here I go. I
Hope you've been looking for me bitch. Here I go. I
Here that you looking for me bitch. Here I go
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