October 18, 2023 • 30 mins
Did you ever wish there was a handbook for navigating the challenges of midlife as a woman? Well, your wish just got granted! Join us as we bring to the fore the unique experiences of women in midlife, discussing the physical and emotional changes we go through and the importance of shedding the cloak of solitude in tough times. We also give you a sneak peek into the hurdles we faced while recording this episode.
Ever been overwhelmed by the flood of advice and information available online? So have we! This episode is all about sifting through the overflow to find credible advice, making choices that suit our individual needs, and leaning on the pillar of healthy relationships. We get personal, sharing our experiences and studies on end-of-life regrets, offering insights that might just help you make the most of now.
We also touch on the struggles that high-achieving women often face due to excessive responsibilities. We also offer tips on managing family relationships, providing parenting advice, and nurturing friendships in midlife. And here's the cherry on top - we have a special mention of Dr. Mindy for her pioneering work on the science of fasting for men and women. We conclude the episode by examining the pros and cons of technology in podcasting and how it has reshaped the landscape.
So, tune in for a heart-to-heart conversation on the challenges and triumphs of womanhood in midlife, and remember, you're not alone in this journey!
RESOURCES MENTIONED:
YouTube Video Dr. Mindy Pelz & Diary of a CEO Podcast Host Steven Bartlett
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Terri (00:01):
Hello, hello, welcome to this week's episode of the what
Women Want to Need podcast.
Welcome, my friend Amanda.
How are you.
Amanda (00:08):
I'm great, I'm so glad to be back, and you said welcome
to this week, this week meaningwe're back, we're back we're
back.
Terri (00:14):
It's official and it's been a while.
It's been a little bit longerthan we thought it might be, but
it's been all good in the way.
Amanda (00:22):
Yes, yes.
Terri (00:24):
A much bigger break.
Yeah, I think it was.
And I feel like during thattime some things kind of came to
light for you and I, and Iwanted to talk about those a
little bit today.
I'm also going to talk aboutthis season and what the
listeners can expect bothlisteners and viewers, because
we are on YouTube kind of whatwe're hoping to accomplish this
(00:45):
season.
Amanda (00:47):
Yeah, I'm really excited .
I think last, when we exitedand we told everybody we were
taking a break, we said we havesome new things that we're going
to announce and maybe somechanges, and then we had this
time off and we had so muchgoing on with health and with
also our creative juices, likethinking of how to come back.
(01:07):
And one thing for me, terry,was, I know I said at the end
like should we expand ourlisteners?
Because I feel like a lot ofwhat we talk about is really
relevant to women of all agegroups and I know in my personal
practice as a clinical mentalhealth counselor as well as a
speech teacher who is really Iteach at a community college and
so my audience primarily isyounger people.
(01:29):
When I talk about things onthis podcast and when you talk
about things, I'm like man, Iwish people younger could hear
some of this stuff.
And then I started going throughall of these issues.
Health wise, my periodmenopausal symptoms really
started flaring up during ourbreak, where I could not sleep.
I was still trying to sleep andI started researching all this
(01:51):
stuff and everything that keptpopping up about my sleep issues
was related to women in midlife.
And then I had this aha momentand I was like, damn, that's why
Terry picked this group,because there's so many women
out there that need to knowinformation for this specific
group of women.
And then I called Terry up andI was like, terry, I don't want
(02:12):
to mess with what you have goingon because this is so important
.
So I think for me, I stillbelieve that younger women need
this information.
But I am on board.
I get why we need to talk aboutthe issues that women in
midlife go through, because itis scary, it's.
You don't know what's going onwith your body, you don't know
if there's hope.
(02:32):
You feel hopeless sometimes andwhen you finally get some
answers and you feel like, oh mygosh, life won't be like this
forever, there is hope, there islight at the end of the tunnel
and you start to really wantother women to know about what's
going on.
Terri (02:49):
Absolutely, and it was Brian and I had a work function
for him that we attended and Ijust started chatting with this
woman towards the end of ourtime there and she was
struggling with some menopausaltype symptoms or period
menopause, and I don't knowexactly where she was in the
process, but she was just sheneeded to talk.
(03:10):
And then I told her about thepodcast and she was like great,
I'm going to list that woman,but she was.
She was surprisingly open tohaving the conversation, which
is what I really want.
It's what I really like.
Hope for is that this opens upmore of the conversation and I
do see, at least on Instagram,with the you know kind of the
(03:33):
people I tend to follow with andnetwork with, I do see that the
conversation is happening more,but I still think that the
information is inconsistent.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, andthat is probably widely talked
about is where we want it to be.
You know we still have a waysto go, we have some progress to
still make.
(03:53):
But as far as health issues,yes, you were going through our
rough time.
You know my heart was achingfor you and, at the same time, I
felt like you were kind ofpushing me away a little bit,
and that's what happens.
Right Like we get, we startsuffering and we don't want to
share the suffering, so we justgo inside ourselves.
Amanda (04:17):
And that is totally me.
I can't tell you how manypeople have taken my isolation
personally.
My sister-in-law has done thisa couple of times.
I'm really close with mysister-in-law, jackie, and she
even called me during this timetoo and she said did I do
something?
And I was like, absolutely not,like I don't think even the
(04:37):
people close to me, even my ownhusband, doesn't really
understand how inside I go whenI am struggling mentally.
I really isolate and it'salmost something I need to do.
I, you know, as a therapist, Iwould say you know, do the
(04:58):
opposite, reach out.
But, as I'm saying that whenI'm at a certain level of
psychological discomfort, timealone is the only thing that can
help me get back to where Ineed to be, and so it's just
really important that we cancome back and say, hey, like
(05:19):
this was super, super hard forme.
It had nothing to do with youand I know it felt like that,
but I'll tell you.
I think I told you in one of mytext messages we were trying to
get this podcast together.
In fact, what's hilarious isTerry and I have already
recorded this one time and weforgot to press the record
button.
Terri (05:39):
Well, we were just at our , at our defunds, we were having
so many computer problems Iwonder if someone out there can
relate to this.
I had both my laptop die and myiPad break, like right next to
each other.
Like the events happened likealmost simultaneously, and so
you and I were trying to get getonto one thing, and it wouldn't
work that way.
So then you were on your soundcomputer and, and then I tried
(06:00):
to get on my other device and,and so then we thought we had it
all together.
We were so excited, and then atthe end of it I'm like, oh my
God, amanda, I never pushed her.
Amanda (06:11):
And luckily I had finally gotten a good night's
sleep that night and I truly allI could do was laugh.
I was like this is hysterical.
I was like, but I so neededthat hour to talk to you.
It was every minute of it.
And I'd well say I do want tosay something that you triggered
me to hear you that when, whenyou said there's so much
inconsistent information outthere.
(06:31):
That is so true, and I thinkwhat I love about this podcast
is we always say, like we'regoing to bring someone on who
has a perspective, but we wantyou to know that this is only
one perspective.
So today or yesterday, I thinkit was I had put out a message
to my Facebook friends at familyand they're such wonderful
people Like I cannot even tellyou how supported I feel by my
friends and family on Facebookbut I said, like I am struggling
(06:55):
with insomnia.
I had 86 comments.
Oh my gosh Of people trying tohelp me and they all had varying
experiences, and that's whatI'm saying about.
There's so much information.
I had everything from takeBenadryl to take Trasadone, to
take pot comies, to takemagnesium, to take over the
(07:17):
counters, to take magnesiumspray.
I am telling you there is somuch information out there and
it is overwhelming to try andfigure out how to choose what to
do and to make the rightchoices.
So I think that I really wantthe podcast listeners to know
that we are just sharingperspectives with you and, at
(07:39):
the end of the day, it's likeyou have to make the choice
that's comfortable for you.
Terri (07:44):
Well, you and I have talked about this before and I
think we might even have saidthis at the end of the season
last year, last season.
So there's supposedly the gurusay that there's three main
reasons that someone will listento a podcast to be entertained,
to be educated or to inspirethem to think differently.
And I've said this before.
(08:04):
I think we kind of hit allthree.
We don't entertain a ton, butsometimes we can be pretty darn
funny.
But yeah, I would laugh at myown jokes all the time.
But no, I think you know, whenwe're educating, I think it's
just giving information toempower someone to then pick up
that piece of the piece of thepie or piece of the puzzle and
(08:25):
run with it.
Don't just stop there.
And I, you know, I always liketo say like actually, the lady
that I was talking to at theparty a couple weeks ago, I said
to her, I said I never want totell somebody that exactly what
I'm doing is going to work foryou.
I think someone told me oncethat there are like 20 different
blood pressure medications, orit's like some crazy amount of
(08:45):
blood pressure medicationsbecause everybody's body is so
chemically different that thereis no one size fits all and what
works for me may not work foryou.
Like one time when I was goingthrough the worst of my insomnia
and I suffered for 10 years andI was doing medical marijuana
to help me sleep.
You were struggling with sleepduring that time for some reason
(09:06):
as well, and I offered you someand it made you feel crazy and
it made me sleep like a baby.
Amanda (09:12):
So you know like like, oh, my gosh, this is such a good
story.
So you know, terry and I, weare soul sisters and we vacation
every year together.
So if you're new listener tothe podcast, I am so super
sensitive to medication and toany kind of substance.
So I'm like I can't sleep andtears like, oh, take one of my
gummies.
So I was like, okay, and I hadalready told they told her about
(09:34):
my history.
She's like no, these are reallylight, like these are not much
at all.
I was hallucinating.
I said I'm like I'm havingthoughts of like killing you in
the middle of the night.
Terri (09:47):
By killer people.
Amanda (09:50):
It's really funny, and we weren't even drunk, so I know
I was out of my mind Like soyou know people will take these
gummies and it'll be like Okay,50 milligrams of THC.
So just the listeners know Ican only take 2.5 milligrams of
THC and not feel like I'm havinga panic attack.
50.
Terri (10:08):
I don't think I took 50.
I can't.
It was really low dose it was.
I put it with a combo of THCand CBD and I think, yeah, do
the THC Correct.
You know, and I can sit hereand say that I I don't regret so
much that time that I triedthat as a method to help with my
(10:28):
insomnia or help deal with it.
But I like, if I had to makethe decision today, I don't
think I would go through allthat again because my body from
what my sleep specialist told meat that time was my body would
cycle through things so fast.
I would have to keep trying newthings all the time and I, I
think during that time I endedup spending like $450 a month on
just to sleep, just to sleep.
(10:50):
And that's when I talked aboutthis on the podcast very early
on this one.
I got to get my test again.
My network for everybody.
But what we're here to do is tobring people on for you and I
to talk about some of ourexperiences, and you know, I
would love it if somebody outthere was going oh, me too, I've
tried that too, you know andshare it with a friend if you
(11:10):
know a friend struggling thattype of thing.
But we decided that we weregoing to focus on relationships
this season, just based on theamazing response we got to the
episode last season of why HappyCouples Cheat and you know we
are always a lot of ourconversations regarding the
(11:30):
podcast have to do with like howdo we add value to someone's
life, like how do we come onhere each week and add value,
give them some information thatthey can take and run with?
And we really thought afterthat episode on cheating, we
thought, well, people reallywant to hear about relationships
, like relationships are a big,huge portion of life
(11:51):
satisfaction.
You had a quality side.
Amanda (11:54):
Yeah, I believe that the quality of the quality of a
person's life is in directmeasure to the quality of their
relationships.
And I, you know, I have studiedbecause I lost my parents a
couple of years ago and becauseI'm just fascinated by
existential issues.
I've studied what people regretwhen they die and when people
have regrets when they die.
(12:14):
Most of it's surroundingrelationships.
And so we thought, why not just, like, really hone in on
relationships and differenttypes of relationships?
And so we're going to introduceyou to the five pillars that
we'll be talking about this thisseason and we hope that through
this content, that you willfeel engaged, you will feel
(12:35):
encouraged and you might sharethat with someone, but then
you'll feel empowered.
Okay, so encouraged, engagedand empowered.
So, thierry, what's the firstpillar?
Terri (12:46):
The first one is probably going to be my favorite, and I
think we'll probably send a fairamount of time here on the
first pillar, and it is yourrelationship to yourself,
because it encompasses so manythings.
Like you know, we've talkedabout how we feel about our
bodies.
I mean, that's yourrelationship to yourself.
That's a big one for women andI think it's it's so big because
(13:06):
we see our bodies changing somuch in midlife that we don't
always feel like we have controlover how much it's changing.
You know that extra 10, 12, 15pounds that almost every midlife
woman you talk to will say, ohyeah, I gained that, and it
feels like a loss of control insome regards.
So I think the relationship toourself is so important.
(13:28):
I mean, we talk to ourselvesinside our heads probably more
than we talk to anybody elseWell, maybe not you, because you
talk to people for a living,but I talk to myself all day
long.
So relationship to self isgoing to be one of our big
pillars this season.
I'm excited about that.
Amanda (13:45):
Yes, another one is going to be romantic
relationships, and so we willbring in a lot of different
personal experiences.
We'll have fun withstorytelling, we'll invite you
to share your stories, and we'regoing to be looking for experts
for all of the pillars.
We hope to have a little bit offun and bring in a sex
(14:06):
therapist.
We'll talk about everythingfrom, you know, the vanilla to
the dark chocolate andeverything in between, the nitty
gritty, well in so many womensay that they, you know, have a
loss of libido during midlife.
Terri (14:19):
So we'll talk about that and, you know, maybe some ways
we can spice it up.
Maybe the sex therapist willgive us some tips for that.
Our next pillar is work,because work is still a big part
of our life and I always liketo think that, you know, our
work life affects our whole lifeand our whole life affects our
work life.
So we need to be healthy inboth places and in order to do
(14:42):
that, we need to, you know,develop some different skills
sometimes, and you know,sometimes we think of
communication.
As you talk, I listen, but it'sso much more than that.
It's about connection.
So I'm excited to talk aboutsome work stuff, too with you.
We talk about this a lotoffline off the podcast, so
it'll be fun to bring that toour audience.
Amanda (15:03):
One thing I've noticed a couple of issues that pop up
for me.
A lot are high functioningwomen, overachieving women, who
take on so much responsibility,and then they get really out of
balance of their lives.
And that's what happened to mewhile I was on break.
I told Terri, I said you know,I needed this because I hit a
(15:23):
real wake up call, like I havedegenerative nectases and a
straightening of the curbicalspine, which can be very, very
dangerous, and I'm getting anMRI soon to try to, you know,
get some help and somepreventative care with that.
But when I am stressed, itbecomes debilitating, the pain
becomes debilitating in, mymovement becomes very, very
(15:44):
limited, and it's because I'musually triggered and flared by
taking on too muchresponsibility.
And so when I trade incompanies, I will often talk to
high achieving women and theywill say the same exact thing.
And so then we talk aboutemotions.
Well, what happens when youfeel like you have too much
responsibility?
And nine times out of 10, thefeeling is overwhelmed.
(16:05):
So then I was like, okay, okay,what do you do when you get
overwhelmed?
Right, you work for some shineand cheese for coping.
How kind of dive into that.
And then another big issue thatI've seen is what happens to
your work life when you have achange in leadership.
And then what happens to yourwork life when you're close to
retirement and you feel likeyou're being pushed.
Oh so so many things, okay.
(16:29):
So we're going to talk aboutwork.
We're also going to talk aboutfamilies.
So all of the issues aroundextended family holidays are
coming up.
How do you set boundariesduring the holidays?
How do you negotiate and managerelationships that are really
feeling icky to you?
Do you have to be inrelationships with people
because they're blood?
You know how I even even youknow helping out younger moms in
(16:54):
your life as an older person.
So one of the things I wasasked to do recently was be a
guest speaker at a MAPS meetingwith for my stepnotar, which is
for moms with toddlers.
So one thing I'm noticing atmidlife is like oh, I have some
wisdom that I can share with theyounger moms.
And then what happens when wehave, like, diverse parenting
styles and different beliefsystems about how to raise kids?
(17:16):
How do you have thoseconversations?
We're so good at that, yeah, sogood, oh good, okay.
Terri (17:23):
And then our last pillar is one that's very near and dear
to our hearts and we are sothankful for each other is
friendship.
Yeah, you know I haven't reallymade it a big secret that, you
know, during all these movesover the past few years, you
know I struggle because I don'thave one friend locally that I
(17:45):
can get in front of, get face toface, and I am a very
friendship like relationship.
I need that, I need thatinteraction, I need to be in
close relationship with people.
So I've struggled and I wannatalk about, like, what happens
in midlife.
How are friendships shift?
And what if you were that momthat was so involved with her
(18:08):
kids and their activities andeverything to do with them, and
now you're an empty nester andthe kids are busy, even if
they're still in high school,off busy doing their own thing,
and what happens when you findyourself suddenly like, oh,
nobody really, you know quoteunquote needs me Now, what do I
do with me and how do I go backand deepen those friendships?
(18:28):
This one is kind of important tome because, not only because of
you and I, but because I saw mymom when she went through
midlife and she withdrew a lotbecause she suffered with
insomnia, she suffered withdepression and she kind of shut
all of her friends out.
And I actually was talking toone of her friends from my
(18:49):
childhood recently.
I stay in touch with her onFacebook and she's like I really
tried hard to area I reallytried hard to stay in touch with
your mom, but she just shut meout and I couldn't get her to
get together and do anything.
So we're gonna dive into someof those types of issues.
I really think you know, withinthese five pillars, like
(19:09):
there's gonna be some reallyinteresting topics coming up
this season.
Amanda (19:12):
Oh, I could not agree more.
In fact, we've alreadyinterviewed a couple really
really cool people that will bereleasing those episodes soon,
and one thing that we're reallyencouraging all of you to do as
our listeners this season is, ifyou know somebody that you
think we should interview, likereach out to us.
Are you somebody you may havebeen listening to this podcast
for a year or two and you feellike I have something to add to
(19:35):
this conversation?
Reach out, we want to hear fromyou.
Terri (19:39):
Absolutely, amanda.
Do you have I'm putting you onthe spot here because we didn't
talk about this but do you have,like a dream person that you
would love to have on ourpodcast this season?
Amanda (19:50):
Oh man, a dream person I'd love to have on the podcast
this season.
Okay, so hmm.
Terri (20:01):
I kind of put you on the spot.
Amanda (20:04):
No, but what comes to mind honestly is, during the
break, one of our podcastlisteners actually introduced me
to Dr Mindy, and Dr Mindy, Iwould love to help her.
Yeah, and Dr Mindy was teachingus all about fasting and gut
(20:25):
health and she talks about womenin midlife and she gave up her
practice to really just promoteher.
And, terry, you've been justreally diving into Dr Mindy's
work, and so if we could getsomebody like Dr Mindy, who has
a massive following and has likejust a wealth of depth and
(20:45):
breadth of content for people inour age group, as a guest, that
would be a huge win.
Dr Mindy, I don't let it, pella.
Is that how you say it, pella?
Yeah.
Terri (20:53):
P-E-L-Z.
P-e-l-z.
She has a great YouTube channel.
She does so much.
We'll put the link in the show.
She has two books.
Yeah, she has two books.
I think the first one was thehormone reset and the second one
is fast like a girl, because,again, the way women fast and
the way men fast is totallydifferent, and some of those
things were not acknowledged inthe past by the medical field,
(21:17):
and so I'm really excited thatshe has really dived in deep to
all the science behind it andreally teaches women and there's
so many benefits.
She's helped people withfertility and obesity and
diabetes and just tons of things.
So, yes, ben, has been likeliterally.
I was talking to another friendand she was telling me about a
(21:38):
mutual friend's podcast.
She goes did you listen to thatepisode?
She did, and I said you knowwhat?
Honestly, I've been so focusedon this health, like all the
health things.
So, yes, definitely, dr Mindy.
And there's someone else that Ireally like right now I'm
drawing a link Well, jay Shetty.
Amanda (21:58):
Well, yeah.
Terri (22:00):
That's a pipe.
That's a pipe, but no, jayShetty.
He has just such a calmingdemeanor and he asks really
great questions, but so does Ican't think of the guy's name.
The guy that's the diary of aCEO.
I believe it is Okay.
You know which one I'm talkingabout.
He's like English.
I'm going to interview Dr Mindyon that YouTube video that we
(22:22):
watched.
Amanda (22:23):
Oh, I love that guy.
He's awesome.
Terri (22:27):
Even Brian, my husband.
I want to watch more.
I did too.
He's so talented, he is awesome.
Yeah, it's like it's so.
Brian never watches podcasts orlistens to him or anything you
know, and he goes.
This guy is good.
Yes, yes, this one's from thewhile.
I tried to force brand tolisten to one in the car and you
(22:47):
know, like one of my podcasts Iused to listen to.
The guy has amazing guests on,but his interview style is not
mine and so I tend to kind ofshy away from some of his
interviews because, oh, like itdoesn't flow.
But Brian was like that guy,the guy that interviewed Dr
Mindy.
I wish I could think of hisname.
We should put a link in theshow notes to his too.
(23:10):
But he's diary of a CEO.
He's amazing.
He's got that voice, thataccent.
Yes, he's a good looking dude.
That's not hard to look at him.
Amanda (23:18):
Yeah, and he was so cool because he was interviewing Dr
Mindy.
That's how we were firstintroduced to him.
And well, when we put the linkactually from Dr Mindy's podcast
that I first introduced you toin the show notes, he's the one
interviewing Dr Mindy, so we'llattach that one.
Terri (23:36):
There you go and they can watch both.
Amanda (23:38):
When I looked at him he was like you know she goes you
might not be too interested inthis part and she goes.
No, you know he's like.
Tell me, I'll know for mygirlfriend, I'll know how to
handle it and be successful.
There you go there you go.
It was about tracking yourcycle.
It was about tracking yourcycle.
Terri (23:58):
I think she asked him if he knew when his girlfriend's
cycle.
Amanda (24:01):
Yes, he's like tell me.
He's like okay, so a weekbefore the period, what should I
do After?
Terri (24:08):
a week.
Amanda (24:09):
Tell me how do I need to treat her the week before
period than the day of herperiod?
Terri (24:13):
Exactly, that's awesome.
Amanda (24:16):
So yeah.
Terri (24:18):
So what else do we have we?
Well, I wanted to ask youanother question too, because
this is something that it's beenlike going on and on in my mind
and I think it would make agreat Facebook group discussion,
so I'm going to put it outthere if anybody wants to like
show up there and talk to meabout this.
But I think, having thatexpression go and this happens
(24:39):
to me every once in a whilewhere something just like gets
in my head and it just goesround and round and round and
round until I like kind offigure out why it's there, but I
think I know why it's there,but it's the expression that
life is not happening to me,it's happening for me and we are
.
You know, for those of you whohave been around from the
(24:59):
beginning of this podcast,you'll know that I went through
this whole experience where welived in a building inside of an
RV while we were supposedlybuilding this house.
And you know, long story short,we're in a rental, we're just
now getting our permits approved, we've been here a year and a
half.
It was supposed to happen a longtime ago and now we're starting
the building process and ifyou've ever been through it.
(25:21):
It is stressful, and I thinkthat this thing going around
around in my head is just toremind me that this isn't
something bad that's happeningto me.
It's a beautiful thing to beable to build your home, your
dream home, and it's a beautifulthing that your husband, you
(25:42):
know, is a hardworking man andjust wants you to have what you
know, what you desire.
So that's why I think, why it'sgoing around and around in my
head but, um, do you ever havethat happen to you?
Amanda (25:53):
Yes, in fact, I often go through these phases with
clients where I get channeled inon something that I really want
them to work on, because it'sbeen so helpful for me and I
have been so focused on helpingpeople be more mindful about
what it feels like to have a dayin your life where you feel
like you're surviving, you'rejust getting through the day.
(26:15):
And then how does that compareto those days where you feel
like you're absolutely thriving?
And I want you to.
I want you to be so mindful,like what?
Write it down.
What happened, what?
Who were you around, what wereyou doing?
What was your setting, whatwere your smells, your taste,
your touch?
Like I want you to be somindful of.
(26:36):
On those days where you feellike that was thriving, what
were you doing?
Because I want us to wake up.
I want us to wake up and that'swhy it's so important that our
life has to be in balance,because when it's not in balance
, we are surviving and, yeah, weare doing is checking off tasks
(26:56):
and I do not like to live thatway.
I discovered I do not like tolive that way.
I called Terry up and I said,terry, I'm miserable because I
don't have enough fun in my life.
I, my father, used to used tocriticize me and and say I was a
fun haver, and I was like thankyou very much.
Yes, I am thank you, becausethat is not in any way shape or
(27:20):
form and insults to me and Ilost my way, like I became so
career driven.
The last year I lost my way andbasically physically I've been
paying the price for being socareer driven.
It has been accomplishing tasksand what's next, and what's
(27:40):
next and what's next, and Idon't want to live that way.
Terri (27:44):
I don't want to live that way exactly.
I totally agree with that.
I feel I feel like that was,you know, the day that I found
out.
My mom passed and Brian took meup on this mountain and we're
sitting up there and I said shenever figured her shit out and I
think we talked about that inthe podcast actually and and I
think she was so busy justfiguring out how to get through
(28:07):
life that she never even thoughtI don't even think it was ever
an occurrence to her that youcan actually thrive, you can
actually be in this part of lifeand have it be one of the best
parts of your life and nothingrepeats raising your children
but it can be one of the bestparts of your life because
you've got so many other thingsgoing for you.
You you don't have the worry ofwho's going to take care of the
(28:28):
kids.
Why go do this fun thing withmy friend or my husband, or you
probably have a little moreresources to go off and do
things, so this can absolutelybe one of the best times of your
life, absolutely.
Amanda (28:41):
I could not agree more and I want I said I want people
to wake up, and then includes Iwant to wake myself up.
It is up for us.
You know, it's not like, oh,you arrive and you get there,
like it is a process, it's ajourney that we have to remind
ourselves like all the time, andso that's why that's my.
My thing, terry, is, is how canwe have more days of thriving,
(29:05):
not just surviving?
well, let's make sure we focuson that absolutely yeah, I'm
excited they have a lot of funthis this season.
Um too, yeah, I know Terry andI will have another trip coming
up.
We are planning our next, ourannual girls trip, and one of my
goals is that we maybe we cando like a live on on the trip
(29:26):
next time wouldn't that be funto do a live podcast together?
Yeah.
Terri (29:30):
I'll have to figure out the technology for that.
Amanda (29:32):
We can barely get through a regular one well, even
if we have to record it in Cabo, if that's where we go there
you go, that's, yeah.
Terri (29:40):
All right, my friend.
Um, I guess I will be talkingto you soon.
I'm so glad to see your face.
Amanda (29:45):
I'm so glad to be back and I can't wait to engage with
the listeners.
Please reach out.
If you hear something that youthink resonates with you, share
it with one or two other peopleand then tell us what you think.
We also want to know who shouldbe on our podcast and if it's
you, please let us knowabsolutely right, it's on next
week take care well, is thatstill recording at a bottom?
Terri (30:12):
don't get off yet, because I still might see my
numbers going.
See, this is the weird part,like it looks so different on
than it did on my computerscreen.
Let's see still loading.
So we'll just wait a minute.
Amanda (30:27):
We'll pre-advance to be with you yeah, I see a little
sign that says 99 percent umuploading and then record.
Hello, hello, welcome to this week's episode of the what
Women Want to Need podcast.
Welcome, my friend Amanda.
How are you.
Amanda (00:08):
I'm great, I'm so glad to be back, and you said welcome
to this week, this week meaningwe're back, we're back we're
back.
Terri (00:14):
It's official and it's been a while.
It's been a little bit longerthan we thought it might be, but
it's been all good in the way.
Amanda (00:22):
Yes, yes.
Terri (00:24):
A much bigger break.
Yeah, I think it was.
And I feel like during thattime some things kind of came to
light for you and I, and Iwanted to talk about those a
little bit today.
I'm also going to talk aboutthis season and what the
listeners can expect bothlisteners and viewers, because
we are on YouTube kind of whatwe're hoping to accomplish this
(00:45):
season.
Amanda (00:47):
Yeah, I'm really excited .
I think last, when we exitedand we told everybody we were
taking a break, we said we havesome new things that we're going
to announce and maybe somechanges, and then we had this
time off and we had so muchgoing on with health and with
also our creative juices, likethinking of how to come back.
(01:07):
And one thing for me, terry,was, I know I said at the end
like should we expand ourlisteners?
Because I feel like a lot ofwhat we talk about is really
relevant to women of all agegroups and I know in my personal
practice as a clinical mentalhealth counselor as well as a
speech teacher who is really Iteach at a community college and
so my audience primarily isyounger people.
(01:29):
When I talk about things onthis podcast and when you talk
about things, I'm like man, Iwish people younger could hear
some of this stuff.
And then I started going throughall of these issues.
Health wise, my periodmenopausal symptoms really
started flaring up during ourbreak, where I could not sleep.
I was still trying to sleep andI started researching all this
(01:51):
stuff and everything that keptpopping up about my sleep issues
was related to women in midlife.
And then I had this aha momentand I was like, damn, that's why
Terry picked this group,because there's so many women
out there that need to knowinformation for this specific
group of women.
And then I called Terry up andI was like, terry, I don't want
(02:12):
to mess with what you have goingon because this is so important
.
So I think for me, I stillbelieve that younger women need
this information.
But I am on board.
I get why we need to talk aboutthe issues that women in
midlife go through, because itis scary, it's.
You don't know what's going onwith your body, you don't know
if there's hope.
(02:32):
You feel hopeless sometimes andwhen you finally get some
answers and you feel like, oh mygosh, life won't be like this
forever, there is hope, there islight at the end of the tunnel
and you start to really wantother women to know about what's
going on.
Terri (02:49):
Absolutely, and it was Brian and I had a work function
for him that we attended and Ijust started chatting with this
woman towards the end of ourtime there and she was
struggling with some menopausaltype symptoms or period
menopause, and I don't knowexactly where she was in the
process, but she was just sheneeded to talk.
(03:10):
And then I told her about thepodcast and she was like great,
I'm going to list that woman,but she was.
She was surprisingly open tohaving the conversation, which
is what I really want.
It's what I really like.
Hope for is that this opens upmore of the conversation and I
do see, at least on Instagram,with the you know kind of the
(03:33):
people I tend to follow with andnetwork with, I do see that the
conversation is happening more,but I still think that the
information is inconsistent.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, andthat is probably widely talked
about is where we want it to be.
You know we still have a waysto go, we have some progress to
still make.
(03:53):
But as far as health issues,yes, you were going through our
rough time.
You know my heart was achingfor you and, at the same time, I
felt like you were kind ofpushing me away a little bit,
and that's what happens.
Right Like we get, we startsuffering and we don't want to
share the suffering, so we justgo inside ourselves.
Amanda (04:17):
And that is totally me.
I can't tell you how manypeople have taken my isolation
personally.
My sister-in-law has done thisa couple of times.
I'm really close with mysister-in-law, jackie, and she
even called me during this timetoo and she said did I do
something?
And I was like, absolutely not,like I don't think even the
(04:37):
people close to me, even my ownhusband, doesn't really
understand how inside I go whenI am struggling mentally.
I really isolate and it'salmost something I need to do.
I, you know, as a therapist, Iwould say you know, do the
(04:58):
opposite, reach out.
But, as I'm saying that whenI'm at a certain level of
psychological discomfort, timealone is the only thing that can
help me get back to where Ineed to be, and so it's just
really important that we cancome back and say, hey, like
(05:19):
this was super, super hard forme.
It had nothing to do with youand I know it felt like that,
but I'll tell you.
I think I told you in one of mytext messages we were trying to
get this podcast together.
In fact, what's hilarious isTerry and I have already
recorded this one time and weforgot to press the record
button.
Terri (05:39):
Well, we were just at our , at our defunds, we were having
so many computer problems Iwonder if someone out there can
relate to this.
I had both my laptop die and myiPad break, like right next to
each other.
Like the events happened likealmost simultaneously, and so
you and I were trying to get getonto one thing, and it wouldn't
work that way.
So then you were on your soundcomputer and, and then I tried
(06:00):
to get on my other device and,and so then we thought we had it
all together.
We were so excited, and then atthe end of it I'm like, oh my
God, amanda, I never pushed her.
Amanda (06:11):
And luckily I had finally gotten a good night's
sleep that night and I truly allI could do was laugh.
I was like this is hysterical.
I was like, but I so neededthat hour to talk to you.
It was every minute of it.
And I'd well say I do want tosay something that you triggered
me to hear you that when, whenyou said there's so much
inconsistent information outthere.
(06:31):
That is so true, and I thinkwhat I love about this podcast
is we always say, like we'regoing to bring someone on who
has a perspective, but we wantyou to know that this is only
one perspective.
So today or yesterday, I thinkit was I had put out a message
to my Facebook friends at familyand they're such wonderful
people Like I cannot even tellyou how supported I feel by my
friends and family on Facebookbut I said, like I am struggling
(06:55):
with insomnia.
I had 86 comments.
Oh my gosh Of people trying tohelp me and they all had varying
experiences, and that's whatI'm saying about.
There's so much information.
I had everything from takeBenadryl to take Trasadone, to
take pot comies, to takemagnesium, to take over the
(07:17):
counters, to take magnesiumspray.
I am telling you there is somuch information out there and
it is overwhelming to try andfigure out how to choose what to
do and to make the rightchoices.
So I think that I really wantthe podcast listeners to know
that we are just sharingperspectives with you and, at
(07:39):
the end of the day, it's likeyou have to make the choice
that's comfortable for you.
Terri (07:44):
Well, you and I have talked about this before and I
think we might even have saidthis at the end of the season
last year, last season.
So there's supposedly the gurusay that there's three main
reasons that someone will listento a podcast to be entertained,
to be educated or to inspirethem to think differently.
And I've said this before.
(08:04):
I think we kind of hit allthree.
We don't entertain a ton, butsometimes we can be pretty darn
funny.
But yeah, I would laugh at myown jokes all the time.
But no, I think you know, whenwe're educating, I think it's
just giving information toempower someone to then pick up
that piece of the piece of thepie or piece of the puzzle and
(08:25):
run with it.
Don't just stop there.
And I, you know, I always liketo say like actually, the lady
that I was talking to at theparty a couple weeks ago, I said
to her, I said I never want totell somebody that exactly what
I'm doing is going to work foryou.
I think someone told me oncethat there are like 20 different
blood pressure medications, orit's like some crazy amount of
(08:45):
blood pressure medicationsbecause everybody's body is so
chemically different that thereis no one size fits all and what
works for me may not work foryou.
Like one time when I was goingthrough the worst of my insomnia
and I suffered for 10 years andI was doing medical marijuana
to help me sleep.
You were struggling with sleepduring that time for some reason
(09:06):
as well, and I offered you someand it made you feel crazy and
it made me sleep like a baby.
Amanda (09:12):
So you know like like, oh, my gosh, this is such a good
story.
So you know, terry and I, weare soul sisters and we vacation
every year together.
So if you're new listener tothe podcast, I am so super
sensitive to medication and toany kind of substance.
So I'm like I can't sleep andtears like, oh, take one of my
gummies.
So I was like, okay, and I hadalready told they told her about
(09:34):
my history.
She's like no, these are reallylight, like these are not much
at all.
I was hallucinating.
I said I'm like I'm havingthoughts of like killing you in
the middle of the night.
Terri (09:47):
By killer people.
Amanda (09:50):
It's really funny, and we weren't even drunk, so I know
I was out of my mind Like soyou know people will take these
gummies and it'll be like Okay,50 milligrams of THC.
So just the listeners know Ican only take 2.5 milligrams of
THC and not feel like I'm havinga panic attack.
50.
Terri (10:08):
I don't think I took 50.
I can't.
It was really low dose it was.
I put it with a combo of THCand CBD and I think, yeah, do
the THC Correct.
You know, and I can sit hereand say that I I don't regret so
much that time that I triedthat as a method to help with my
(10:28):
insomnia or help deal with it.
But I like, if I had to makethe decision today, I don't
think I would go through allthat again because my body from
what my sleep specialist told meat that time was my body would
cycle through things so fast.
I would have to keep trying newthings all the time and I, I
think during that time I endedup spending like $450 a month on
just to sleep, just to sleep.
(10:50):
And that's when I talked aboutthis on the podcast very early
on this one.
I got to get my test again.
My network for everybody.
But what we're here to do is tobring people on for you and I
to talk about some of ourexperiences, and you know, I
would love it if somebody outthere was going oh, me too, I've
tried that too, you know andshare it with a friend if you
(11:10):
know a friend struggling thattype of thing.
But we decided that we weregoing to focus on relationships
this season, just based on theamazing response we got to the
episode last season of why HappyCouples Cheat and you know we
are always a lot of ourconversations regarding the
(11:30):
podcast have to do with like howdo we add value to someone's
life, like how do we come onhere each week and add value,
give them some information thatthey can take and run with?
And we really thought afterthat episode on cheating, we
thought, well, people reallywant to hear about relationships
, like relationships are a big,huge portion of life
(11:51):
satisfaction.
You had a quality side.
Amanda (11:54):
Yeah, I believe that the quality of the quality of a
person's life is in directmeasure to the quality of their
relationships.
And I, you know, I have studiedbecause I lost my parents a
couple of years ago and becauseI'm just fascinated by
existential issues.
I've studied what people regretwhen they die and when people
have regrets when they die.
(12:14):
Most of it's surroundingrelationships.
And so we thought, why not just, like, really hone in on
relationships and differenttypes of relationships?
And so we're going to introduceyou to the five pillars that
we'll be talking about this thisseason and we hope that through
this content, that you willfeel engaged, you will feel
(12:35):
encouraged and you might sharethat with someone, but then
you'll feel empowered.
Okay, so encouraged, engagedand empowered.
So, thierry, what's the firstpillar?
Terri (12:46):
The first one is probably going to be my favorite, and I
think we'll probably send a fairamount of time here on the
first pillar, and it is yourrelationship to yourself,
because it encompasses so manythings.
Like you know, we've talkedabout how we feel about our
bodies.
I mean, that's yourrelationship to yourself.
That's a big one for women andI think it's it's so big because
(13:06):
we see our bodies changing somuch in midlife that we don't
always feel like we have controlover how much it's changing.
You know that extra 10, 12, 15pounds that almost every midlife
woman you talk to will say, ohyeah, I gained that, and it
feels like a loss of control insome regards.
So I think the relationship toourself is so important.
(13:28):
I mean, we talk to ourselvesinside our heads probably more
than we talk to anybody elseWell, maybe not you, because you
talk to people for a living,but I talk to myself all day
long.
So relationship to self isgoing to be one of our big
pillars this season.
I'm excited about that.
Amanda (13:45):
Yes, another one is going to be romantic
relationships, and so we willbring in a lot of different
personal experiences.
We'll have fun withstorytelling, we'll invite you
to share your stories, and we'regoing to be looking for experts
for all of the pillars.
We hope to have a little bit offun and bring in a sex
(14:06):
therapist.
We'll talk about everythingfrom, you know, the vanilla to
the dark chocolate andeverything in between, the nitty
gritty, well in so many womensay that they, you know, have a
loss of libido during midlife.
Terri (14:19):
So we'll talk about that and, you know, maybe some ways
we can spice it up.
Maybe the sex therapist willgive us some tips for that.
Our next pillar is work,because work is still a big part
of our life and I always liketo think that, you know, our
work life affects our whole lifeand our whole life affects our
work life.
So we need to be healthy inboth places and in order to do
(14:42):
that, we need to, you know,develop some different skills
sometimes, and you know,sometimes we think of
communication.
As you talk, I listen, but it'sso much more than that.
It's about connection.
So I'm excited to talk aboutsome work stuff, too with you.
We talk about this a lotoffline off the podcast, so
it'll be fun to bring that toour audience.
Amanda (15:03):
One thing I've noticed a couple of issues that pop up
for me.
A lot are high functioningwomen, overachieving women, who
take on so much responsibility,and then they get really out of
balance of their lives.
And that's what happened to mewhile I was on break.
I told Terri, I said you know,I needed this because I hit a
(15:23):
real wake up call, like I havedegenerative nectases and a
straightening of the curbicalspine, which can be very, very
dangerous, and I'm getting anMRI soon to try to, you know,
get some help and somepreventative care with that.
But when I am stressed, itbecomes debilitating, the pain
becomes debilitating in, mymovement becomes very, very
(15:44):
limited, and it's because I'musually triggered and flared by
taking on too muchresponsibility.
And so when I trade incompanies, I will often talk to
high achieving women and theywill say the same exact thing.
And so then we talk aboutemotions.
Well, what happens when youfeel like you have too much
responsibility?
And nine times out of 10, thefeeling is overwhelmed.
(16:05):
So then I was like, okay, okay,what do you do when you get
overwhelmed?
Right, you work for some shineand cheese for coping.
How kind of dive into that.
And then another big issue thatI've seen is what happens to
your work life when you have achange in leadership.
And then what happens to yourwork life when you're close to
retirement and you feel likeyou're being pushed.
Oh so so many things, okay.
(16:29):
So we're going to talk aboutwork.
We're also going to talk aboutfamilies.
So all of the issues aroundextended family holidays are
coming up.
How do you set boundariesduring the holidays?
How do you negotiate and managerelationships that are really
feeling icky to you?
Do you have to be inrelationships with people
because they're blood?
You know how I even even youknow helping out younger moms in
(16:54):
your life as an older person.
So one of the things I wasasked to do recently was be a
guest speaker at a MAPS meetingwith for my stepnotar, which is
for moms with toddlers.
So one thing I'm noticing atmidlife is like oh, I have some
wisdom that I can share with theyounger moms.
And then what happens when wehave, like, diverse parenting
styles and different beliefsystems about how to raise kids?
(17:16):
How do you have thoseconversations?
We're so good at that, yeah, sogood, oh good, okay.
Terri (17:23):
And then our last pillar is one that's very near and dear
to our hearts and we are sothankful for each other is
friendship.
Yeah, you know I haven't reallymade it a big secret that, you
know, during all these movesover the past few years, you
know I struggle because I don'thave one friend locally that I
(17:45):
can get in front of, get face toface, and I am a very
friendship like relationship.
I need that, I need thatinteraction, I need to be in
close relationship with people.
So I've struggled and I wannatalk about, like, what happens
in midlife.
How are friendships shift?
And what if you were that momthat was so involved with her
(18:08):
kids and their activities andeverything to do with them, and
now you're an empty nester andthe kids are busy, even if
they're still in high school,off busy doing their own thing,
and what happens when you findyourself suddenly like, oh,
nobody really, you know quoteunquote needs me Now, what do I
do with me and how do I go backand deepen those friendships?
(18:28):
This one is kind of important tome because, not only because of
you and I, but because I saw mymom when she went through
midlife and she withdrew a lotbecause she suffered with
insomnia, she suffered withdepression and she kind of shut
all of her friends out.
And I actually was talking toone of her friends from my
(18:49):
childhood recently.
I stay in touch with her onFacebook and she's like I really
tried hard to area I reallytried hard to stay in touch with
your mom, but she just shut meout and I couldn't get her to
get together and do anything.
So we're gonna dive into someof those types of issues.
I really think you know, withinthese five pillars, like
(19:09):
there's gonna be some reallyinteresting topics coming up
this season.
Amanda (19:12):
Oh, I could not agree more.
In fact, we've alreadyinterviewed a couple really
really cool people that will bereleasing those episodes soon,
and one thing that we're reallyencouraging all of you to do as
our listeners this season is, ifyou know somebody that you
think we should interview, likereach out to us.
Are you somebody you may havebeen listening to this podcast
for a year or two and you feellike I have something to add to
(19:35):
this conversation?
Reach out, we want to hear fromyou.
Terri (19:39):
Absolutely, amanda.
Do you have I'm putting you onthe spot here because we didn't
talk about this but do you have,like a dream person that you
would love to have on ourpodcast this season?
Amanda (19:50):
Oh man, a dream person I'd love to have on the podcast
this season.
Okay, so hmm.
Terri (20:01):
I kind of put you on the spot.
Amanda (20:04):
No, but what comes to mind honestly is, during the
break, one of our podcastlisteners actually introduced me
to Dr Mindy, and Dr Mindy, Iwould love to help her.
Yeah, and Dr Mindy was teachingus all about fasting and gut
(20:25):
health and she talks about womenin midlife and she gave up her
practice to really just promoteher.
And, terry, you've been justreally diving into Dr Mindy's
work, and so if we could getsomebody like Dr Mindy, who has
a massive following and has likejust a wealth of depth and
(20:45):
breadth of content for people inour age group, as a guest, that
would be a huge win.
Dr Mindy, I don't let it, pella.
Is that how you say it, pella?
Yeah.
Terri (20:53):
P-E-L-Z.
P-e-l-z.
She has a great YouTube channel.
She does so much.
We'll put the link in the show.
She has two books.
Yeah, she has two books.
I think the first one was thehormone reset and the second one
is fast like a girl, because,again, the way women fast and
the way men fast is totallydifferent, and some of those
things were not acknowledged inthe past by the medical field,
(21:17):
and so I'm really excited thatshe has really dived in deep to
all the science behind it andreally teaches women and there's
so many benefits.
She's helped people withfertility and obesity and
diabetes and just tons of things.
So, yes, ben, has been likeliterally.
I was talking to another friendand she was telling me about a
(21:38):
mutual friend's podcast.
She goes did you listen to thatepisode?
She did, and I said you knowwhat?
Honestly, I've been so focusedon this health, like all the
health things.
So, yes, definitely, dr Mindy.
And there's someone else that Ireally like right now I'm
drawing a link Well, jay Shetty.
Amanda (21:58):
Well, yeah.
Terri (22:00):
That's a pipe.
That's a pipe, but no, jayShetty.
He has just such a calmingdemeanor and he asks really
great questions, but so does Ican't think of the guy's name.
The guy that's the diary of aCEO.
I believe it is Okay.
You know which one I'm talkingabout.
He's like English.
I'm going to interview Dr Mindyon that YouTube video that we
(22:22):
watched.
Amanda (22:23):
Oh, I love that guy.
He's awesome.
Terri (22:27):
Even Brian, my husband.
I want to watch more.
I did too.
He's so talented, he is awesome.
Yeah, it's like it's so.
Brian never watches podcasts orlistens to him or anything you
know, and he goes.
This guy is good.
Yes, yes, this one's from thewhile.
I tried to force brand tolisten to one in the car and you
(22:47):
know, like one of my podcasts Iused to listen to.
The guy has amazing guests on,but his interview style is not
mine and so I tend to kind ofshy away from some of his
interviews because, oh, like itdoesn't flow.
But Brian was like that guy,the guy that interviewed Dr
Mindy.
I wish I could think of hisname.
We should put a link in theshow notes to his too.
(23:10):
But he's diary of a CEO.
He's amazing.
He's got that voice, thataccent.
Yes, he's a good looking dude.
That's not hard to look at him.
Amanda (23:18):
Yeah, and he was so cool because he was interviewing Dr
Mindy.
That's how we were firstintroduced to him.
And well, when we put the linkactually from Dr Mindy's podcast
that I first introduced you toin the show notes, he's the one
interviewing Dr Mindy, so we'llattach that one.
Terri (23:36):
There you go and they can watch both.
Amanda (23:38):
When I looked at him he was like you know she goes you
might not be too interested inthis part and she goes.
No, you know he's like.
Tell me, I'll know for mygirlfriend, I'll know how to
handle it and be successful.
There you go there you go.
It was about tracking yourcycle.
It was about tracking yourcycle.
Terri (23:58):
I think she asked him if he knew when his girlfriend's
cycle.
Amanda (24:01):
Yes, he's like tell me.
He's like okay, so a weekbefore the period, what should I
do After?
Terri (24:08):
a week.
Amanda (24:09):
Tell me how do I need to treat her the week before
period than the day of herperiod?
Terri (24:13):
Exactly, that's awesome.
Amanda (24:16):
So yeah.
Terri (24:18):
So what else do we have we?
Well, I wanted to ask youanother question too, because
this is something that it's beenlike going on and on in my mind
and I think it would make agreat Facebook group discussion,
so I'm going to put it outthere if anybody wants to like
show up there and talk to meabout this.
But I think, having thatexpression go and this happens
(24:39):
to me every once in a whilewhere something just like gets
in my head and it just goesround and round and round and
round until I like kind offigure out why it's there, but I
think I know why it's there,but it's the expression that
life is not happening to me,it's happening for me and we are
.
You know, for those of you whohave been around from the
(24:59):
beginning of this podcast,you'll know that I went through
this whole experience where welived in a building inside of an
RV while we were supposedlybuilding this house.
And you know, long story short,we're in a rental, we're just
now getting our permits approved, we've been here a year and a
half.
It was supposed to happen a longtime ago and now we're starting
the building process and ifyou've ever been through it.
(25:21):
It is stressful, and I thinkthat this thing going around
around in my head is just toremind me that this isn't
something bad that's happeningto me.
It's a beautiful thing to beable to build your home, your
dream home, and it's a beautifulthing that your husband, you
(25:42):
know, is a hardworking man andjust wants you to have what you
know, what you desire.
So that's why I think, why it'sgoing around and around in my
head but, um, do you ever havethat happen to you?
Amanda (25:53):
Yes, in fact, I often go through these phases with
clients where I get channeled inon something that I really want
them to work on, because it'sbeen so helpful for me and I
have been so focused on helpingpeople be more mindful about
what it feels like to have a dayin your life where you feel
like you're surviving, you'rejust getting through the day.
(26:15):
And then how does that compareto those days where you feel
like you're absolutely thriving?
And I want you to.
I want you to be so mindful,like what?
Write it down.
What happened, what?
Who were you around, what wereyou doing?
What was your setting, whatwere your smells, your taste,
your touch?
Like I want you to be somindful of.
(26:36):
On those days where you feellike that was thriving, what
were you doing?
Because I want us to wake up.
I want us to wake up and that'swhy it's so important that our
life has to be in balance,because when it's not in balance
, we are surviving and, yeah, weare doing is checking off tasks
(26:56):
and I do not like to live thatway.
I discovered I do not like tolive that way.
I called Terry up and I said,terry, I'm miserable because I
don't have enough fun in my life.
I, my father, used to used tocriticize me and and say I was a
fun haver, and I was like thankyou very much.
Yes, I am thank you, becausethat is not in any way shape or
(27:20):
form and insults to me and Ilost my way, like I became so
career driven.
The last year I lost my way andbasically physically I've been
paying the price for being socareer driven.
It has been accomplishing tasksand what's next, and what's
(27:40):
next and what's next, and Idon't want to live that way.
Terri (27:44):
I don't want to live that way exactly.
I totally agree with that.
I feel I feel like that was,you know, the day that I found
out.
My mom passed and Brian took meup on this mountain and we're
sitting up there and I said shenever figured her shit out and I
think we talked about that inthe podcast actually and and I
think she was so busy justfiguring out how to get through
(28:07):
life that she never even thoughtI don't even think it was ever
an occurrence to her that youcan actually thrive, you can
actually be in this part of lifeand have it be one of the best
parts of your life and nothingrepeats raising your children
but it can be one of the bestparts of your life because
you've got so many other thingsgoing for you.
You you don't have the worry ofwho's going to take care of the
(28:28):
kids.
Why go do this fun thing withmy friend or my husband, or you
probably have a little moreresources to go off and do
things, so this can absolutelybe one of the best times of your
life, absolutely.
Amanda (28:41):
I could not agree more and I want I said I want people
to wake up, and then includes Iwant to wake myself up.
It is up for us.
You know, it's not like, oh,you arrive and you get there,
like it is a process, it's ajourney that we have to remind
ourselves like all the time, andso that's why that's my.
My thing, terry, is, is how canwe have more days of thriving,
(29:05):
not just surviving?
well, let's make sure we focuson that absolutely yeah, I'm
excited they have a lot of funthis this season.
Um too, yeah, I know Terry andI will have another trip coming
up.
We are planning our next, ourannual girls trip, and one of my
goals is that we maybe we cando like a live on on the trip
(29:26):
next time wouldn't that be funto do a live podcast together?
Yeah.
Terri (29:30):
I'll have to figure out the technology for that.
Amanda (29:32):
We can barely get through a regular one well, even
if we have to record it in Cabo, if that's where we go there
you go, that's, yeah.
Terri (29:40):
All right, my friend.
Um, I guess I will be talkingto you soon.
I'm so glad to see your face.
Amanda (29:45):
I'm so glad to be back and I can't wait to engage with
the listeners.
Please reach out.
If you hear something that youthink resonates with you, share
it with one or two other peopleand then tell us what you think.
We also want to know who shouldbe on our podcast and if it's
you, please let us knowabsolutely right, it's on next
week take care well, is thatstill recording at a bottom?
Terri (30:12):
don't get off yet, because I still might see my
numbers going.
See, this is the weird part,like it looks so different on
than it did on my computerscreen.
Let's see still loading.
So we'll just wait a minute.
Amanda (30:27):
We'll pre-advance to be with you yeah, I see a little
sign that says 99 percent umuploading and then record.
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