51: Raising Discerning Kids Today

Have your children ever asked you why they can't play the same video games as their friends or why your family doesn't celebrate certain holidays like everyone else? These seemingly innocent questions reveal a profound challenge facing Christian parents today: raising children who can discern truth in a world that deliberately blurs the lines between good and evil.

When my seven-year-old asked about Fortnite, my fifth-grader inquired about K-pop, and my other son questioned our lack of Halloween decorations, I recognized these weren't just casual curiosities. They were wrestling with something deeper—why our family looks different from others. As believers called to be "salt and light" (Matthew 5:13-16), we know standing apart is exactly what we're supposed to do, but helping our children understand and embrace this difference requires intentionality and wisdom.

Children naturally desire to fit in with their peers. Girls typically want to be liked, while boys seek to belong. This natural inclination collides with our biblical calling to be set apart, creating tension when the world celebrates values contrary to Scripture. Isaiah warns about those who "call evil good and good evil," a phenomenon our children encounter daily through media, entertainment, and social pressure. Rather than simply establishing rules, we must equip our children with discernment—teaching them to evaluate everything through the lens of God's truth. This means becoming students of the Word ourselves, engaging with cultural trends (even uncomfortable ones), asking critical thinking questions, and acknowledging the very real struggle of feeling different. Through resources like Pilgrim's Progress and examples of biblical figures who stood firm despite opposition, we can show our children they're part of a long legacy of faithful believers who chose God's ways over the world's.

What questions are your children bringing home? Instead of avoiding these conversations, see them as opportunities to develop discernment. Share your own experiences of standing apart, point them to Scripture, and remember God's promise that He gives wisdom generously to those who ask. The journey isn't easy, but raising children who can navigate this confusing world with biblical clarity is worth every challenging conversation.

Recommended Resources:

Mama Bear Apologetics by Hillary Morgan Ferrer

When Culture Hates You by Natasha Crain

Toxic Empathy by Allie Beth Stuckey

Little Pilgrim's Big Journey

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Episode Transcript

Leanne (00:50):
So I'm going to be honest with you.
When I first felt the HolySpirit guiding me towards
today's topic, I really feltthat there were so many other
women, incredible Christianwomen, who have already covered
this topic, and with much moreeloquence and authority.
However, I also know that Icannot ignore something that the

(01:14):
Holy Spirit keeps bringing tomy heart and mind.
So, out of obedience, let'sdive into the topic of raising
discerning kids in our worldtoday.
A few weeks ago, I recorded anepisode on teaching your
children discernment when itcomes to choosing good books to

(01:34):
read children discernment whenit comes to choosing good books
to read.
That discussion has led to somany more conversations and a
realization that books are justthe beginning.
Recently, one of myseven-year-old boys approached
me and asked Mom, why can't weplay Fortnite or Roblox?
Now, besides the obvious answerthat he can't play those

(01:56):
because we don't even have avideo game console in our house,
I immediately recognized thatthere was a deeper question
under the surface here.
He may not have realized it,but the question he was really
asking was why can't I play thegames that everyone else my age
is playing, or why does ourfamily have different rules, or

(02:19):
even what's wrong with thosegames?
But before I had a chance torespond to his question, my
fifth grader walked into theroom and asked mom, what's K-pop
?
Demon hunters?
Everyone at school keepstalking about it and I kid you
not.
Before I could answer thatquestion, my other

(02:40):
seven-year-old walked into theroom and said Mom, how come the
neighbors have Halloweendecorations all over the yard
and why don't we have any?
With three sets of eyes lookingat me.
For all of the answers, Iunderstood that raising
discerning kids in today's worldbegins right now.

(03:02):
As Christians, we are called tobe the salt and light of the
world.
Matthew 5, 13-16 says you arethe salt of the earth, but if
salt has lost its taste.
You are the salt of the earth,but if salt has lost its taste,
how can its saltiness berestored?
It is no longer good foranything except to be thrown out
and trampled under people'sfeet.

(03:24):
You are the light of the world.
A city set on a hill cannot behidden, nor do people light a
lamp and put it under a basket,but on a stand, and it gives
light to all in the house In thesame way.
Let your light shine beforeothers so that they may see your
good works and give glory toyour Father who is in heaven.

(03:48):
As a believer, the truth is thatyou and your family will look
and act and speak differentlyfrom the rest of the world, and
that's a good thing.
But this can be challenging foryour children for a couple of
reasons.
First, children naturally havea pretty good sense of what is

(04:10):
right and what is wrong.
Since we are made in the imageof God, our conscience is shaped
by a general sense of moralityand kids innately know that
things like hitting or lying arebad.
That's why they look guiltywhen they have done one of those
things.
So when society blurs the linesbetween right and wrong, this

(04:31):
is confusing for children and Ithink that this is why Isaiah
5.20 warns Woe to those who callevil good and good evil, who
put darkness for light and lightfor darkness, who put bitter
for sweet and sweet for bitter.
You are telling your childrenone thing and then the world is

(04:52):
saying something completelydifferent, and then your
children are conflicted becausethey have a natural desire to
want to fit in.
Typically, girls desire to beliked, while boys seek to belong
.
So when the world sends themessage that fitting in is

(05:13):
better than standing apart.
Your children come home withquestions much like the ones my
own kids asked me as a mom.
The truth found in God's wordis a necessary conversation to
have with your children, eventhough it is rarely easy.
John 15, 19 says If you were ofthe world, the world would love

(05:38):
you as its own.
But because you are not of theworld but I chose you out of the
world, therefore the worldhates you.
As believers, we are called to adifferent standard.
This is the part of theChristian journey that can be
difficult for you and for yourchildren, especially with the

(05:59):
very real possibility that theywill face persecution simply
because they don't play the samegames or watch the same movies
or participate in the sameactivities as everyone else
movies or participate in thesame activities as everyone else
.
Perhaps it is for this reasonthat our family loves Pilgrim's
Progress by John Bunyan.
When my boys were around fouryears old, I found a version of

(06:22):
this classic story in a formatthat they could understand.
Little Pilgrim's Big Journeyrecounts the main character,
christian, and his journey offaith.
Throughout his journey he isfaced with many challenges and
temptations, including battleswith self and a fierce dragon.
My children are drawn to thisstory because of the good versus

(06:45):
evil theme, as well as thebrave hero fighting for what is
right.
We keep coming back to thisstory over and over again
because the lessons covered inthis series apply to so much
happening in our world today,and every time we read these
books, my kids understand just abit more about the importance

(07:07):
of walking in the light, ofwalking in the light.
As a parent, it is never easy tosee your children struggle with
these conflicting thoughts andfeelings, and it is certainly
not easy to answer theirquestions on the spot either.
So, as with most thingsregarding teaching our children,
anything, it has to start withyou.

(07:30):
You need to be a student of theWord first and foremost.
If you are going to teach yourchildren to live according to
God's standards, then you needto know what His standards are.
And the best way to know Hisstandards is to know who God is,
and not just know His rules, sothat you can tell your children

(07:51):
something like well, we don'tplay that game because the Bible
says it's bad.

(08:24):
You need to understand theheart behind God's design so
that you can help them thinkcritically about why they can or
cannot play or watch certainthings.
Now you, as a parent, canforbid your children from
playing certain games orwatching certain movies or

(08:45):
listening to certain types ofmusic, and then that child can
grow up and decide to play,watch or listen to it anyway.
It takes more work and thetraining requires more effort,
but raising your children to bediscerning is worth the
sacrifice, so that one day, whenthey are faced with the

(09:08):
temptation to fit in or standapart, they boldly choose to
remain in the light.
It is also important for you tobe informed as a parent.
It is tempting, as a Christianparent, to simply ignore all the
pop culture fads.
I know that there was a seasonin my life when I didn't even

(09:28):
want to consider any of thechaos that our world was calling
cool, but then my darlingstarted asking those questions
and I knew I needed to beprepared.
The world is after theinnocence of our children, and
you and I need to be willing tostand up and fight for them,
while teaching them how to fightright alongside of us.

(09:50):
I highly recommend books likeMama Bear, apologetics when
Culture Hates you or ToxicEmpathy to get you started.
All of these books are linkedin the show notes if you would
like to check them out later.
You also have a responsibilityto your children to address
their questions and engage inthose tough conversations.

(10:11):
One way you can invite thesediscussions into your home is by
asking critical thinkingquestions.
Why do you think that videogame or show or movie is popular
?
What message is it sending?
Is this an example of evilbeing portrayed as good and good
portrayed as bad?
Why do you think that's thecase?

(10:32):
Does this game or movie ormusic encourage you to seek what
is?
It is important to acknowledgethat choosing to walk in the
light and say no to certainthings isn't easy and may even
make them feel left out.
It is very important that youaddress that head on.

(10:56):
Let them know what to expect.
Share examples from your ownlife about when you felt left
out for choosing the right thing.
When you felt left out forchoosing the right thing.
Look for examples from bookslike Pilgrim's Progress, or even
Bible characters like Daniel orJeremiah or Esther.
Remind your children what Psalm84, 11, says For the Lord, god

(11:18):
is a sun and shield.
The Lord bestows favor andhonor.
No good thing does he withholdfrom those who walk uprightly,
and then you can discussalternatives that are
appropriate for your family.
For example, when my son askedabout video games, we talked
about why certain games blur thelines between what is good and

(11:41):
what is evil, and then we talkedabout video games that offer a
better alternative.
So I'm not saying no to allvideo games and all the fun, but
we are using discernment tochoose what we play wisely.
When my daughter asked aboutthe movies and the music that
everyone at school was talkingabout, we looked at the lyrics

(12:03):
of some of the songs together.
Simply reading the wordsrevealed so many hidden messages
that were clearly not rooted inthe truth of God's word, and
this led to a wonderfulconversation about how
misleading a catchy beat can be.
It is my prayer that this leadsher to research popular trends

(12:25):
on her own before blindlyfollowing along with the crowd.
And when my children comment onwhy other people do certain
things or decorate their frontyards in a certain way, I simply
remind them that as believers,we are held to a different
standard and we can look awayfrom the things of the world.
Like it says in Psalm 119, 37,of the world.

(12:49):
Like it says in Psalm 119, 37,.
Turn my eyes from looking atworthless things and give me
life.
In your ways.
We cannot control what otherpeople do, but we can control
what we give our attention to.
Raising discerning kids in ourworld today is no easy task and
you likely won't always get itright, and for this reason I
find comfort in James 1.5, whichsays If any of you lacks wisdom

(13:15):
, let him ask God, who givesgenerously to all, without
reproach, and it will be givento him.
God stands in the gap for uswhen we fall short or when we
are confused about what is rightand what is wrong.
Thankfully, god's word is clearand we can always turn to him
to guide our path.
Psalm 119, 105 says your wordis a lamp to my feet and a light

(13:42):
to my path.
So the next time your childapproaches you with a question
about a video game or a show ora cultural trend, say a quick
prayer and then ask them whatthey think God's perspective
might be.
Choose to be intentional withthese conversations and continue
to embrace excellence in allthat you say and do for the

(14:03):
glory of God.
To close this episode today, Iwant to read a portion of Psalm
119 to you.
This psalm is rich and full ofso many reminders that the truth
we seek can be found in thepages of scripture, psalm 119,
9-16.
How can a young man keep hisway pure by guarding it

(14:27):
according to your word?
With my whole heart I seek you.
Let me not wander from yourcommandments.
I have stored up your word inmy heart that I might not sin
against you.
Blessed are you, o Lord.
Teach me your statutes With mylips.
I declare all the rules of yourmouth.
In the way of your testimonies,I delight as much as in all the

(14:50):
riches.
I will meditate on yourprecepts and fix my eyes on your
ways.
I will delight in your statutes.
I will not forget your word.