June 4, 2025 • 28 mins
Are you doing everything right? Praying, affirmations, trying to think positive with no results? We share practical tips and encouragement to help you stay on track!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
we're good to start, There.
Okay.
The studio is looking really good today.They didn't really.
Nice job here.
Yeah, well, what's good today is I lookforward to this each and every week.
I was hanging out with you and, sharing.
And by the way, thank you so much.
In case you're just tuning in,what's good with John and Joyce?
And we focus on silver linings.
What's good we try to stay away fromthe negativity is so much of it out there
(00:24):
in the real world.
When you listen to this show, exactly.
When you listen to this, watch it.
We just want to focus on positivity.
I know it sounds Kumbaya.
We've said that before, but, you know,it's, I think the world needs it.
That's what I'm hearing from,you know, viewers and listeners.
Anyway. Yeah, I agree.
So thank you. Subscribe on YouTube.
It's free and we're availablein all the major platforms.
(00:45):
So I'm John Cadillac Seville from iHeartRadio and John Seville
Entertainment, and Joyce, I'm just Joyce.
No, Joyce.
Come on.
You're you're you'reyou're a world renowned author.
You're a therapist. You're a supermom.
You're a loyal friend. All that nice.
You're a great baker.
Oh, you know,I'm also a person who found interviews.
(01:07):
I love them, I love them.
I didn't know I had, you know,
they're beautiful.
I know you're very color coordinated.
You know, you always, you know.
Yeah.
Amazing thing this morning
because let's just sayeven the undergarments are pink.
Yeah.
You know,
interesting about we talked about visualsbefore when people watch
(01:30):
and the majority of the people I talkto listen more than they
watch and talk about theirthey're not like yours anymore.
Like, listen to the podcast right thenand watch it.
They're usually,you know, on on the treadmill.
They're in the car.
Always curiousabout where people are viewing from
speak spake Leon Spinks, the old boxer.
(01:52):
Right.
Leon Spinks, she's sparkly shoes.
Yeah. You know where I got them?
Yeah.
There's was an old song back in the daycalled Pink Shoelaces, which I, we were
talking about author Dodie Stevens,and I haven't said that name in 100 years.
It just came out all right. Right.
Because as radio geeks,we always talk in song titles.
(02:16):
We're up at the radiostation, we'll have a conversation,
but we'll use song titlesas the conversation.
It's, you know, just inside geek stuff.
Yeah,
I know there's a song comingthrough my head lately.
Going on in my head, little Anthony.
Oh, let's see.
Oh. You sure you.
But it's not someone I've heard in years
(02:38):
and years, and it's playing in my head.
Jane. Oliver.
Jane. Oliver.I've heard. I've heard of her.
Yeah.
She's a great singer, great vocalist,very unique.
Her songs, it's a little haunting.
A serial affair in a sense.
(03:00):
Not quite anything real, but,you know, different.
Not quite that,
but she's saying I.
Oh, the Rockville rocket.
Connecticut's own Gene Pitney.
Love, love loved him.
Yes. You know he's he's wonderful.
I'm laughing about it because I worked,a couple of shows with them,
and I kept saying to everyone,
(03:22):
I think I'm, I'm never nervousmeeting a celebrity.
I just never was.
You know, I get excited, but not nervous.
But I was watching.
I can't tell how many people around me.
He's a legend.
Yes he is.
A lot of the people didn't know who.
Right?
Right.
And I said, you don't know him.
(03:44):
He's from Connecticut.
Yeah. You know, he's he's a legend, right?
So, yeah, that was athat was a fun night.
But the thing with the Jane Oliver's song,
as she's singing his song,
he comes on in the bridge. Wow.
And this song is half head,half heartache. Yes.
(04:07):
Beautiful ballad.
It builds. It builds.
And I had,
I had a really profound feeling.
Listen, boy,this music for you has feelings.
It really does.
And if you're not familiarwith Gene Pitney, those of you
watching and listening right now just,
you know, Google and go to Spotify,Pandora, iTunes, check him out.
(04:28):
An amazing voice, a really great talent.
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
That was a movie.A Town Without Pity, too.
And I guess it must have been his vocals,right?
Right. Yeah.
So yeah, that song really got to meand brought out a lot.
And, I you have a lot of grief. Yeah.
(04:49):
You could,you could tell with Joyce music.
So our passion, you know, I mean, just,you know, we we go down that rabbit hole
really quick, you know, you just mentionthe song and bam, there we go.
Yeah, that you guys do too.
I think everybody does that.
Yeah.
So, anyway, it wasI felt it was cathartic in a lot of ways.
I don't know whythat song showed up in my mind.
(05:10):
And then I put it on YouTube
and you don't see,you know, the visuals, just the audio.
And I love the bridge.
So have, have and have and one more songI have to mention
Gene Pitney, my all timefavorite, Every Breath You Take.
Oh every, every breath you take.
It just goes, you know, it starts offreally slow and then it crescendos.
(05:34):
You know, that was that was another song.
That's a good point.
But every breath you take with you rightpolice, Every breath You take,
which was the biggest song of the 1980s.
The number one song in the entire decade,which we play on the River.
1059 she plug it singing
yeah, you know, it's like Barbra Streisandsinging people.
The reason why he hates singing that songis because it's.
(05:56):
I mean, what's the stalking song,
right? It's a stalking song.
But I didn't take it as that.
Back when he first recorded I took it.
I was very passionate.
Right?
Like, every step you take, I am watching.
Oh I know, yes, it it.
And it's like a song by the song by R.E.M.
called This Goes Out to the one I love.
(06:17):
A lot of times I meet together,I get together with Brian Rooms
to talk about musicbecause I deejay a lot of weddings
and they'll say, I want that song.
I say, you know,that's really not a love song.
It's a song about, you know, betrayal.
What is this?
This one goes out to the oneI love by R.E.M.,
one of my favorite bands of the 80sis about betrayal, and people just hear
(06:38):
this goes out to the one I love,like a request, but it's not a love song.
Not a love song at all.
Like every breath you take.You don't want that.
Maybe at the divorce party
you could play that at the wedding.
Because I remember someone telling youthat,
I don't think.
Just likes the song.
(07:01):
That's right, that's right.
What are we supposedto be talking about today, anyway?
We lose our train of thought here.
Love talking about music.
Yeah. Me too, me too.
And thank you for playing Billy Squier.
And we're on the radio this morning.
Yes. For you.
Music is Billy Squier.
The Beatles, if you throw that.
Yep, I am.
(07:22):
Yeah, we play a little bit of both on onthat on our station to an early Beatles.
Right.
Yeah.
Anyway, anyway,some people have said to me
and I thought this could bea good show topic today that,
you know, choice.
I have tried everything.
I've meditated.
(07:43):
I have all kinds of self-help booksand I pray
I don't see any change in my life.
So if, if you dig a little deeper,
I've found that the meditationis not something they do every day.
It's only sporadically.
And I think you can addressthe prayer part of it.
(08:05):
And maybe the you expect
the answer to come right away,or the exact answer that,
well, Joyce, we live in a world whereeverybody wants it yesterday, you know,
and so many people think successfulpeople come out of a genie bottle.
You know, all of a suddenthey're successful.
They see someone like you,you know, who's done
so many wonderful things, and they watchAmerican Idol, they watch The voice,
(08:27):
and they think all of a suddenthese people are up on stage
and they're getting all this,
all these accolades,but they don't realize all the rejection,
all the people who told themthey couldn't do it on the way up,
all the clubs they played, all the peoplethat booed them, all the people said,
you coming from a small town and,you know, delight Arkansas.
I mean, who cares about you?
(08:47):
What makes you thinkyou're going to make it?
There's always those negative voices,and most people give up
just when they're in the thresholdof making it.
But to address your point about that,they sporadically do
thingsis something we need to do consistently.
I think the most
I think the greatest trait of anybodysuccessful is consistency.
(09:08):
Show upeven when you don't want to go out there
and do the things you don't want to do,even when you don't want to.
And there are so many thingsI don't want to do many times,
but I get up,I want to go to the gym every day,
but I go to the gym every daybecause I know it's good for me.
It's good for my insides, it'sgood for my outsides.
It helps,it makes me feel better about myself.
(09:29):
But so many people, I want to lose 25pounds, and I want to lose it
because I'm going to be in a weddingin a month, and I got to lose 25.
No, it doesn't work out that way.
You have to take time. You.
It's discipline.
It's plodding along.
It's very unsexy to be successful.
And that's why, unfortunately, they talk
about the 95 percentilesor the 5% to 5% of the people,
(09:52):
the ones 95% of the people who workfor 5% of the other people,
because 5% of the people go out thereand they just they hit it.
Yeah, yeah.
I just putI would just say be disciplined, too
consistent and disciplined.
And I fall shortall the time. We're human.
There are so many times where it's like,oh, I wish it would happen quicker, but
doesn't, you know,
(10:12):
things tend to happenwhen you are out there out and about.
And I remember my mother's heartafter a wonderful, wonderful man.
Doctor solution.
Doctor fresh,
Bruce Barouch I think sure.
Yeah.
Oh, I'm not man.
And he said to meone day when people go to visit,
(10:36):
even if you're going to McDonald'sor you go to a bank,
you don't drive through,get out of the car, engage with people.
That's what helps your heart.
And and improves your life.
It not only are you walking rightbut you're actually speaking to someone.
You may see someone in there that you knowand you do that all the time. John
(11:00):
I know we are out and you are engagingwith people and having conversations.
So when somebody praysand let's say you're praying,
for their business or whatever,
but if youif you stay in a small little area
and you don't get out and expressthat to someone else
when they say, I have an idea, right,
(11:23):
I've got a friendor I've got and, whatever.
In fact,I heard someone speaking yesterday,
when they lived in L.A.
They never interacted with people
because you're driving your carall the time.
But when they moved to New York,they started going out to a Broadway
play and having dinner and having coffee,because you can do it by yourself.
(11:47):
But eventually they met a lot of people.
Sure that so I do think that getting back
to the original question, so people had
is what you said,first of all, don't give up.
And maybe not all
players are the answerthe way you want them to be.
(12:11):
Well, Garth Brookshad a song unanswered Prayers.
I thank God for unanswered prayers
because God am I.
You know, the God universe,whatever you call it, I call it God.
God knows best.He knows what's best for us.
And many, many times
things don't happen at that timebecause it's not the right time.
If something happenedat that time you tried to force it,
(12:33):
it would be more of a burdenthan a blessing. So.
So we everything we've heard that timethat's saying everything happens
in God's timing, right?
Timing is everything,even from a secular standpoint.
If you want to put God in the equation.
But too many timeswe force things in our own time
and it ends up,you know, not being exactly.
And I think our makerwants the best for us.
(12:55):
So we just have to be patient. Patient.
And it's not easy, but just go out thereand be the best where you are now.
If you don't like the job you're in now,be grateful for that job.
Be the best person I don't like.
You know, bagging up groceries at,at a grocery store.
Well, be the best friggin bagger ever.
Yeah, and talk to people.
(13:15):
Look them in the eye. How is your day?
You know?
And can I help youwith this, this and that?
And then you engage, like yousaid, in conversation,
and then eventually that person might say,you're really good at what you do.
What's your long term goal?What would you like to do?
Well, I like to do so and so well.
I just happen to know a person
to addressyour point, engaging a conversation.
(13:36):
And everybody knows somebody who knowssomebody who knows somebody.
So put it out in the universe.
So right.
Yeah.
I have a habit of speaking with cashiers.
I love cashiers, I don't hold,
right.
But, yeah, I love speaking especially
to young peopleand who don't seem very friendly.
(14:01):
And I've met a few of them,and I just asked a person
so what's your so what's yourwhat's your goal like?
What do you love doing?
I love I love the way you say that.
I love it.
Yes you do.
That's a gift you have to sing.
So now every time she sees me, she waves.
(14:22):
Yeah. Isn't that great?
Yeah.
It's like the gym I go to.
And I see a couple of these guys behindthe counter, and it's boring for them.
They're just standing there and.
And it's like they're therefor eight hours shifts.
And every time I walk in there,I always say hi to them, call them by name
because people love to hear their namessaying, I really appreciate you guys.
You know, you're always so friendlywhen people walk in.
I like the way I notice from a distance.
(14:43):
The other day,the way you talk to that elderly person.
I thought that was really nice.
And then I'll kind of lean into himand say, so what's your like?
You said, what's your long term goal?
I guarantee you that when you asked themand I asked them,
were were amongthe very few that ever asked him.
So what's your long term goal?
What do you want to do with your life?
Because I think most people,especially I hear
(15:05):
what you're hearingis you're complaining about the price.
Yes, I understand that.
But the cashier can't now, therefore.
So you just stirring upthe pot of negativity.
Which brings me back to
why you
feel you're doing everythingand nothing is happening,
so you can't do short term
(15:27):
prayer thinking positive, positive.
It's the moment you wake up
to walking down the street,
engaging with people.
Don't engage.
And, this.
You know, the prices are high.
Politics and blah blah.
(15:48):
Don't even engage in that because
then it robs you of that precious mind.
That's right.
That energy is not there.
You can't connect where you want to be.
It's like energy attracts like.
That's right. That's why it's for feather.
Flock together, get rich to forage.
(16:09):
Important.
All those things are true forwhat's good for the goose
is good for the gander.
I don't know why I threw that in there.
I heard somebody say that the other day.
I was like, whoa,I have to use that somewhere.
You gave me an invoice,
and I'm trying to think
it so I feel like that.
(16:31):
But but it is being, you know,
consistent, being disciplined,putting yourself out there.
I love that to do.
Maybe initially it feels that way, butthe more you do it, the easier it becomes.
And then what happens is
then you feel that negative energyfrom other people
and you think, oh, I'mstepping away, right?
(16:52):
Right.
And you maybe forgotthat you were one of them,
and now you're somebody different,
and you like that feeling,you like this feeling of saying
instead of saying like,why is this happening?
Just to say,you know what, it may be raining,
but you know, we need the rain.
(17:13):
It's good for the earth.
Yes, there could be flooding.
There's always been flooding.
Isn't it greatthat we have people who are helpers?
There's so many waysto turn terrible things around.
Tornadoes that have wrecked andand killed people.
I mean that has alwaystaken place for sure.
But you can't sit thereand just dwell on that.
(17:36):
You can think about cleaning helpers,
you can think aboutthe great caring people
you know, you hope will be building homesand and all of that.
But, and then that will get you started onwe shouldn't be knowing the news.
Oh, no, no, no, don't do it.
I'll check you in 20 minutes.
During the course of the day.It's all run on loop.
(17:57):
It's right on loop.
No too much negativity.
Community. Community based.
You knowwhat's going on in your home, right?
How can you help out?
We can't. It's impossibleto help everyone.
You can send a general prayer outevery night, which I do
for the whole world.
Healing for every leader of the world
(18:18):
to be helpful and let it go.
Right? You know, that could be your part.
If you want to send money to the Red CrossSalvation Army, God bless you.
Do that.
You know, if that makes you feel good,if it makes you feel better,
put it out into the universe.
At the end of the day,just pray, pray, pray.
And then you're like this.
I'm doing my bestand you take care of the rest.
(18:39):
What if a guy with a big,you know, enjoy your life?
Exactly. Right? Right.
But but you're it's so easyto get baited in the negativity.
People do it all the time, right?
The bait and, you know, click bait that.
Oh, I can't believe you're putting outall that little sake.
Rest in peace.
And it's someone famous, right?
(19:02):
You know, they're not dead.I mean, why why?
Oh, she died or he died and it's like, no.
Yeah.
I just want you to click on the news ofmy death has been greatly exaggerated.
Connecticut's own MarkTwain said that, didn't he?
Who? Hey, back in the day, MarkTwain and I were good
buddies, hanging out on the river.
Well.
(19:30):
You're.
I'm not sure if that's a good thing or badthing is, it depends on who you talk to.
Your Joyce. My goodness.
Right.
But the whole thing is just,you know, be patient.
It's really hard because.
Because we want we want things now.
We see so many people around us.
We baseour well-being on likes on social media,
(19:52):
or somebody else is doing somethingreally well.
You people have a tendency sometimes, youknow, to get a little envious or jealous.
Remember, there's enough successto go around for all of us.
So I rather cheer for peopleand it's a good feeling to cheer them.
No, you don't know their story.
They just pop like I said it andjust all of a sudden become successful.
But cheer them onand you feel better about yourself
(20:14):
rather than trying to knock people down.
Knock people down.And we know people like that.
Oh, no, they probably know somebody.
Oh, they oh,they probably had plastic surgery.
You know, there's right
they want to rock, but they want ofor somebody works out really hard.
Well, they're probably just genetics.They were born that way.
No, I mean celebrate people's hard work,celebrate them.
(20:36):
Right? Right.
It makes a big difference.
It does. And when you complimentthat person, you probably made their day.
If you see somebody who's done very,very well, compliment them.
I'm very big on that energy flow.
Yeah, you do that, it bounces back.
It does.
Yeah.
Like a rubber ball puncture or boomerang.
Like a boom.
Like a boomerang out that echo.
(20:59):
Oh. Like in the mount.
Echo echo echo echo
you everybody I fired up today.
Joyce Farnam is fired up.
You know, my my wife saidit's a good thing that you don't do drugs.
Drink.
All right,
then you know, never have, you know, but,I guess you can count coffee as a drug.
You can't.
You technically, caffeineis that good because there a
(21:22):
I guess my grandson calls my Snapple a,
Right, right.
Yeah.
But what's your favorite drug?
Love is a drug.
Like the old song by Roxy Music.
Love is a drug that I'm thinking of.
Okay, so that one that
music.
Yeah. We were playing that song.
(21:43):
A player back in the daywhen you and I were there together.
Love is a drug.
There's another oneyou can look up out there.
Yeah. No.
Well I mean I apologize.
Everybody's watching and listening todaybecause I'm all over the friggin map.
I'm like you know squirrel duhduh duh duh.
So my wife says,can you focus on one thing?
(22:03):
You know, it's
yes, you can, focus on the positive.
Yeah. That's right. Yeah.
So what we say to people who say
that they're going through a realtough time and,
they can't seem to get to that, I think.
I think we should just empathizewith them.
The last thing people want to dois be judged
(22:24):
and this and that, say, listen,I know how you feel.
I felt the same way.
And I still do feel the same way at times.
But you just keep doing what you're doing.
If it feels right in your heartand it's something
you really want to go for and do it,you keep firing away and doing it.
B b bloom where you're planted.
When were you planted? Right now.
And even if it's not where you want to be
and be grateful for thatbecause gratitude is riches
(22:46):
and the more grateful you are,
the more good things are going to happenin your life.
I found that in my life.
But you know, let's face it,I mean, it's not all Pollyanna here.
There are days when I'm frustratedand I'm sure you are.
It's like, I wish something would happenquicker than this.
Or oh, man, I didn't see that coming.
Because, I mean, lifethrows your curveballs all the time,
but it's all about how you respond to it,you know?
(23:08):
I mean, everybody watching and listeningright now, you know, it's
we were never promised a free ridein this world.
You know, our maker said that,you know, you will have trouble, but
I will always be with you.
And there's always there'salways an escape hatch somewhere, or,
you know, whether we take it or not,that's up to us.
And what I've learnedduring my darkest times in life,
(23:30):
and there have been manyand that's where the richness is.
And I've learned to be quiet duringthose times, not complaining and just
going inward as to why this is happening,
whether it's an illnessI've been through or death.
(23:51):
It's just a time to get quiet.
And however you do that,whether it's in prayer
or reading or watching a movie,maybe crying,
even just,
there's there's a reason for that.
And that's where,
(24:12):
I think like these deep faith it
if even if faith could be a lot of things,it doesn't have to be, you know,
a belief in anything except,
things will get better.
Stays dark for ever.
Even people who've gone through.
(24:33):
I think the worst tragedyis losing a child.
Many of them rise up and start
foundations and charitiesor they support others
and they take that paintingand they use it for good adversity.
They take adversityand use it into an opportunity.
And then they,then they can bless other people.
(24:55):
So when somebody else goes thatthrough that horrible situation,
they can pat their shoulder or give em ahug and say, listen, I know how you feel.
I've been there and look.
And if you're in a really good place,I came out pretty good
because they say that every setbackis really a setup for something better.
You know?
Regardless, you may not see that whenyou're going through a tragedy you lost.
I mean, noparent wants to outlive their kids.
(25:18):
I never had kids of my own.
I have a beautiful stepdaughter.
But I have lost a spouse.
I know you've lost a spouse.
But. So we know what pains like.
But everybody watching and listeningright now is not exempt from that.
If you haven't gonethrough that pain, you will,
if you live,
if you'relucky enough to live long enough,
(25:40):
the downside is someone's gonna die.
Exactly.
And I celebrate every wrinkle,every this and that.
Because it means that I'm still alive.
That I'm still made it.
I'm still up today.
Yeah, yeah, I'm just like that.
Then I have days like, I'm getting,
Yeah. We all feel that way.
I feel them.
Yeah, yeah.
So I would say take a deep breath, relaxyour shoulders.
(26:05):
You remember every day.
And I have to rememberyou should do those breathing exercises.
The end of these podcastsevery now and then.
Breathing or the body exercises.
You belly breath.
Think like yourself, like a RaggedyAnn doll sitting in a chair.
And that relaxes all your musclesbecause you'll be surprised.
I am surprised to
how many times during the daymy shoulders start creeping up to me. You,
(26:29):
know, and it's not becauseyou're trying to do trap exercises either.
Ha! Hahaha.
Right.
Just, just relax your shoulders,take a deep breath, and know that this too
shall pass.
Yeah.
You know, I mean,I was working in a restaurant years ago.
Oh my gosh.
And the summers were really like chicken,especially down along the shoreline.
(26:51):
And we were working so hard and the owner,
was very Zen like a wonderful person.
And she said, remember, Joy,
you can't stop time soon in the eveningand you'll be home
and you'll be in your bed,and this will be over,
(27:11):
from this period, a lot of wisdom there.
I forget her saying, yeah.
So when I feel likeI'm having a rough day,
I then think about this day with so many.
Right.
And I would have made it through. Yeah.
And it depends howI want to make it through.
And those are the daysyou really look forward.
You look at that bedand it looks so good. You do.
(27:32):
You just get in that bedand you kind of put the pillow.
I mean, laying the pillow,put the blankets over your head
if you want,and then you wake up the next day.
And if it's a rainy day,the sun still shining.
Yeah. The sun's still shining.
We just don't see it at that point.
Know all the time that someone complains.
If you see those cloudsabove that sunshine, you look right.
(27:52):
Absolutely.
And we thank you so, so much for tuning inand listening again, watching,
you know, our show.
What's up with John and Joyce?
Please share it with somebody you thinkthat really needs, you know, pick me up.
It seems like so many people needthat nowadays.
And a lot of anger, a lot of divisiveness,a lot of pain in the world nowadays.
So we just fuel for 30 minutes each weekyou can come here
(28:13):
and, and get away from thatand share those with somebody.
Subscribe for free on YouTube.
But we're available in all major streamingplatforms.
And Joyce, as always, is a pleasure
hanging out with youand I pray for you and your family
and you know, and your families too.
Yeah.
Till next time. Bye.
Bye bye.
we're good to start, There.
Okay.
The studio is looking really good today.They didn't really.
Nice job here.
Yeah, well, what's good today is I lookforward to this each and every week.
I was hanging out with you and, sharing.
And by the way, thank you so much.
In case you're just tuning in,what's good with John and Joyce?
And we focus on silver linings.
What's good we try to stay away fromthe negativity is so much of it out there
(00:24):
in the real world.
When you listen to this show, exactly.
When you listen to this, watch it.
We just want to focus on positivity.
I know it sounds Kumbaya.
We've said that before, but, you know,it's, I think the world needs it.
That's what I'm hearing from,you know, viewers and listeners.
Anyway. Yeah, I agree.
So thank you. Subscribe on YouTube.
It's free and we're availablein all the major platforms.
(00:45):
So I'm John Cadillac Seville from iHeartRadio and John Seville
Entertainment, and Joyce, I'm just Joyce.
No, Joyce.
Come on.
You're you're you'reyou're a world renowned author.
You're a therapist. You're a supermom.
You're a loyal friend. All that nice.
You're a great baker.
Oh, you know,I'm also a person who found interviews.
(01:07):
I love them, I love them.
I didn't know I had, you know,
they're beautiful.
I know you're very color coordinated.
You know, you always, you know.
Yeah.
Amazing thing this morning
because let's just sayeven the undergarments are pink.
Yeah.
You know,
interesting about we talked about visualsbefore when people watch
(01:30):
and the majority of the people I talkto listen more than they
watch and talk about theirthey're not like yours anymore.
Like, listen to the podcast right thenand watch it.
They're usually,you know, on on the treadmill.
They're in the car.
Always curiousabout where people are viewing from
speak spake Leon Spinks, the old boxer.
(01:52):
Right.
Leon Spinks, she's sparkly shoes.
Yeah. You know where I got them?
Yeah.
There's was an old song back in the daycalled Pink Shoelaces, which I, we were
talking about author Dodie Stevens,and I haven't said that name in 100 years.
It just came out all right. Right.
Because as radio geeks,we always talk in song titles.
(02:16):
We're up at the radiostation, we'll have a conversation,
but we'll use song titlesas the conversation.
It's, you know, just inside geek stuff.
Yeah,
I know there's a song comingthrough my head lately.
Going on in my head, little Anthony.
Oh, let's see.
Oh. You sure you.
But it's not someone I've heard in years
(02:38):
and years, and it's playing in my head.
Jane. Oliver.
Jane. Oliver.I've heard. I've heard of her.
Yeah.
She's a great singer, great vocalist,very unique.
Her songs, it's a little haunting.
A serial affair in a sense.
(03:00):
Not quite anything real, but,you know, different.
Not quite that,
but she's saying I.
Oh, the Rockville rocket.
Connecticut's own Gene Pitney.
Love, love loved him.
Yes. You know he's he's wonderful.
I'm laughing about it because I worked,a couple of shows with them,
and I kept saying to everyone,
(03:22):
I think I'm, I'm never nervousmeeting a celebrity.
I just never was.
You know, I get excited, but not nervous.
But I was watching.
I can't tell how many people around me.
He's a legend.
Yes he is.
A lot of the people didn't know who.
Right?
Right.
And I said, you don't know him.
(03:44):
He's from Connecticut.
Yeah. You know, he's he's a legend, right?
So, yeah, that was athat was a fun night.
But the thing with the Jane Oliver's song,
as she's singing his song,
he comes on in the bridge. Wow.
And this song is half head,half heartache. Yes.
(04:07):
Beautiful ballad.
It builds. It builds.
And I had,
I had a really profound feeling.
Listen, boy,this music for you has feelings.
It really does.
And if you're not familiarwith Gene Pitney, those of you
watching and listening right now just,
you know, Google and go to Spotify,Pandora, iTunes, check him out.
(04:28):
An amazing voice, a really great talent.
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
That was a movie.A Town Without Pity, too.
And I guess it must have been his vocals,right?
Right. Yeah.
So yeah, that song really got to meand brought out a lot.
And, I you have a lot of grief. Yeah.
(04:49):
You could,you could tell with Joyce music.
So our passion, you know, I mean, just,you know, we we go down that rabbit hole
really quick, you know, you just mentionthe song and bam, there we go.
Yeah, that you guys do too.
I think everybody does that.
Yeah.
So, anyway, it wasI felt it was cathartic in a lot of ways.
I don't know whythat song showed up in my mind.
(05:10):
And then I put it on YouTube
and you don't see,you know, the visuals, just the audio.
And I love the bridge.
So have, have and have and one more songI have to mention
Gene Pitney, my all timefavorite, Every Breath You Take.
Oh every, every breath you take.
It just goes, you know, it starts offreally slow and then it crescendos.
(05:34):
You know, that was that was another song.
That's a good point.
But every breath you take with you rightpolice, Every breath You take,
which was the biggest song of the 1980s.
The number one song in the entire decade,which we play on the River.
1059 she plug it singing
yeah, you know, it's like Barbra Streisandsinging people.
The reason why he hates singing that songis because it's.
(05:56):
I mean, what's the stalking song,
right? It's a stalking song.
But I didn't take it as that.
Back when he first recorded I took it.
I was very passionate.
Right?
Like, every step you take, I am watching.
Oh I know, yes, it it.
And it's like a song by the song by R.E.M.
called This Goes Out to the one I love.
(06:17):
A lot of times I meet together,I get together with Brian Rooms
to talk about musicbecause I deejay a lot of weddings
and they'll say, I want that song.
I say, you know,that's really not a love song.
It's a song about, you know, betrayal.
What is this?
This one goes out to the oneI love by R.E.M.,
one of my favorite bands of the 80sis about betrayal, and people just hear
(06:38):
this goes out to the one I love,like a request, but it's not a love song.
Not a love song at all.
Like every breath you take.You don't want that.
Maybe at the divorce party
you could play that at the wedding.
Because I remember someone telling youthat,
I don't think.
Just likes the song.
(07:01):
That's right, that's right.
What are we supposedto be talking about today, anyway?
We lose our train of thought here.
Love talking about music.
Yeah. Me too, me too.
And thank you for playing Billy Squier.
And we're on the radio this morning.
Yes. For you.
Music is Billy Squier.
The Beatles, if you throw that.
Yep, I am.
(07:22):
Yeah, we play a little bit of both on onthat on our station to an early Beatles.
Right.
Yeah.
Anyway, anyway,some people have said to me
and I thought this could bea good show topic today that,
you know, choice.
I have tried everything.
I've meditated.
(07:43):
I have all kinds of self-help booksand I pray
I don't see any change in my life.
So if, if you dig a little deeper,
I've found that the meditationis not something they do every day.
It's only sporadically.
And I think you can addressthe prayer part of it.
(08:05):
And maybe the you expect
the answer to come right away,or the exact answer that,
well, Joyce, we live in a world whereeverybody wants it yesterday, you know,
and so many people think successfulpeople come out of a genie bottle.
You know, all of a suddenthey're successful.
They see someone like you,you know, who's done
so many wonderful things, and they watchAmerican Idol, they watch The voice,
(08:27):
and they think all of a suddenthese people are up on stage
and they're getting all this,
all these accolades,but they don't realize all the rejection,
all the people who told themthey couldn't do it on the way up,
all the clubs they played, all the peoplethat booed them, all the people said,
you coming from a small town and,you know, delight Arkansas.
I mean, who cares about you?
(08:47):
What makes you thinkyou're going to make it?
There's always those negative voices,and most people give up
just when they're in the thresholdof making it.
But to address your point about that,they sporadically do
thingsis something we need to do consistently.
I think the most
I think the greatest trait of anybodysuccessful is consistency.
(09:08):
Show upeven when you don't want to go out there
and do the things you don't want to do,even when you don't want to.
And there are so many thingsI don't want to do many times,
but I get up,I want to go to the gym every day,
but I go to the gym every daybecause I know it's good for me.
It's good for my insides, it'sgood for my outsides.
It helps,it makes me feel better about myself.
(09:29):
But so many people, I want to lose 25pounds, and I want to lose it
because I'm going to be in a weddingin a month, and I got to lose 25.
No, it doesn't work out that way.
You have to take time. You.
It's discipline.
It's plodding along.
It's very unsexy to be successful.
And that's why, unfortunately, they talk
about the 95 percentilesor the 5% to 5% of the people,
(09:52):
the ones 95% of the people who workfor 5% of the other people,
because 5% of the people go out thereand they just they hit it.
Yeah, yeah.
I just putI would just say be disciplined, too
consistent and disciplined.
And I fall shortall the time. We're human.
There are so many times where it's like,oh, I wish it would happen quicker, but
doesn't, you know,
(10:12):
things tend to happenwhen you are out there out and about.
And I remember my mother's heartafter a wonderful, wonderful man.
Doctor solution.
Doctor fresh,
Bruce Barouch I think sure.
Yeah.
Oh, I'm not man.
And he said to meone day when people go to visit,
(10:36):
even if you're going to McDonald'sor you go to a bank,
you don't drive through,get out of the car, engage with people.
That's what helps your heart.
And and improves your life.
It not only are you walking rightbut you're actually speaking to someone.
You may see someone in there that you knowand you do that all the time. John
(11:00):
I know we are out and you are engagingwith people and having conversations.
So when somebody praysand let's say you're praying,
for their business or whatever,
but if youif you stay in a small little area
and you don't get out and expressthat to someone else
when they say, I have an idea, right,
(11:23):
I've got a friendor I've got and, whatever.
In fact,I heard someone speaking yesterday,
when they lived in L.A.
They never interacted with people
because you're driving your carall the time.
But when they moved to New York,they started going out to a Broadway
play and having dinner and having coffee,because you can do it by yourself.
(11:47):
But eventually they met a lot of people.
Sure that so I do think that getting back
to the original question, so people had
is what you said,first of all, don't give up.
And maybe not all
players are the answerthe way you want them to be.
(12:11):
Well, Garth Brookshad a song unanswered Prayers.
I thank God for unanswered prayers
because God am I.
You know, the God universe,whatever you call it, I call it God.
God knows best.He knows what's best for us.
And many, many times
things don't happen at that timebecause it's not the right time.
If something happenedat that time you tried to force it,
(12:33):
it would be more of a burdenthan a blessing. So.
So we everything we've heard that timethat's saying everything happens
in God's timing, right?
Timing is everything,even from a secular standpoint.
If you want to put God in the equation.
But too many timeswe force things in our own time
and it ends up,you know, not being exactly.
And I think our makerwants the best for us.
(12:55):
So we just have to be patient. Patient.
And it's not easy, but just go out thereand be the best where you are now.
If you don't like the job you're in now,be grateful for that job.
Be the best person I don't like.
You know, bagging up groceries at,at a grocery store.
Well, be the best friggin bagger ever.
Yeah, and talk to people.
(13:15):
Look them in the eye. How is your day?
You know?
And can I help youwith this, this and that?
And then you engage, like yousaid, in conversation,
and then eventually that person might say,you're really good at what you do.
What's your long term goal?What would you like to do?
Well, I like to do so and so well.
I just happen to know a person
to addressyour point, engaging a conversation.
(13:36):
And everybody knows somebody who knowssomebody who knows somebody.
So put it out in the universe.
So right.
Yeah.
I have a habit of speaking with cashiers.
I love cashiers, I don't hold,
right.
But, yeah, I love speaking especially
to young peopleand who don't seem very friendly.
(14:01):
And I've met a few of them,and I just asked a person
so what's your so what's yourwhat's your goal like?
What do you love doing?
I love I love the way you say that.
I love it.
Yes you do.
That's a gift you have to sing.
So now every time she sees me, she waves.
(14:22):
Yeah. Isn't that great?
Yeah.
It's like the gym I go to.
And I see a couple of these guys behindthe counter, and it's boring for them.
They're just standing there and.
And it's like they're therefor eight hours shifts.
And every time I walk in there,I always say hi to them, call them by name
because people love to hear their namessaying, I really appreciate you guys.
You know, you're always so friendlywhen people walk in.
I like the way I notice from a distance.
(14:43):
The other day,the way you talk to that elderly person.
I thought that was really nice.
And then I'll kind of lean into himand say, so what's your like?
You said, what's your long term goal?
I guarantee you that when you asked themand I asked them,
were were amongthe very few that ever asked him.
So what's your long term goal?
What do you want to do with your life?
Because I think most people,especially I hear
(15:05):
what you're hearingis you're complaining about the price.
Yes, I understand that.
But the cashier can't now, therefore.
So you just stirring upthe pot of negativity.
Which brings me back to
why you
feel you're doing everythingand nothing is happening,
so you can't do short term
(15:27):
prayer thinking positive, positive.
It's the moment you wake up
to walking down the street,
engaging with people.
Don't engage.
And, this.
You know, the prices are high.
Politics and blah blah.
(15:48):
Don't even engage in that because
then it robs you of that precious mind.
That's right.
That energy is not there.
You can't connect where you want to be.
It's like energy attracts like.
That's right. That's why it's for feather.
Flock together, get rich to forage.
(16:09):
Important.
All those things are true forwhat's good for the goose
is good for the gander.
I don't know why I threw that in there.
I heard somebody say that the other day.
I was like, whoa,I have to use that somewhere.
You gave me an invoice,
and I'm trying to think
it so I feel like that.
(16:31):
But but it is being, you know,
consistent, being disciplined,putting yourself out there.
I love that to do.
Maybe initially it feels that way, butthe more you do it, the easier it becomes.
And then what happens is
then you feel that negative energyfrom other people
and you think, oh, I'mstepping away, right?
(16:52):
Right.
And you maybe forgotthat you were one of them,
and now you're somebody different,
and you like that feeling,you like this feeling of saying
instead of saying like,why is this happening?
Just to say,you know what, it may be raining,
but you know, we need the rain.
(17:13):
It's good for the earth.
Yes, there could be flooding.
There's always been flooding.
Isn't it greatthat we have people who are helpers?
There's so many waysto turn terrible things around.
Tornadoes that have wrecked andand killed people.
I mean that has alwaystaken place for sure.
But you can't sit thereand just dwell on that.
(17:36):
You can think about cleaning helpers,
you can think aboutthe great caring people
you know, you hope will be building homesand and all of that.
But, and then that will get you started onwe shouldn't be knowing the news.
Oh, no, no, no, don't do it.
I'll check you in 20 minutes.
During the course of the day.It's all run on loop.
(17:57):
It's right on loop.
No too much negativity.
Community. Community based.
You knowwhat's going on in your home, right?
How can you help out?
We can't. It's impossibleto help everyone.
You can send a general prayer outevery night, which I do
for the whole world.
Healing for every leader of the world
(18:18):
to be helpful and let it go.
Right? You know, that could be your part.
If you want to send money to the Red CrossSalvation Army, God bless you.
Do that.
You know, if that makes you feel good,if it makes you feel better,
put it out into the universe.
At the end of the day,just pray, pray, pray.
And then you're like this.
I'm doing my bestand you take care of the rest.
(18:39):
What if a guy with a big,you know, enjoy your life?
Exactly. Right? Right.
But but you're it's so easyto get baited in the negativity.
People do it all the time, right?
The bait and, you know, click bait that.
Oh, I can't believe you're putting outall that little sake.
Rest in peace.
And it's someone famous, right?
(19:02):
You know, they're not dead.I mean, why why?
Oh, she died or he died and it's like, no.
Yeah.
I just want you to click on the news ofmy death has been greatly exaggerated.
Connecticut's own MarkTwain said that, didn't he?
Who? Hey, back in the day, MarkTwain and I were good
buddies, hanging out on the river.
Well.
(19:30):
You're.
I'm not sure if that's a good thing or badthing is, it depends on who you talk to.
Your Joyce. My goodness.
Right.
But the whole thing is just,you know, be patient.
It's really hard because.
Because we want we want things now.
We see so many people around us.
We baseour well-being on likes on social media,
(19:52):
or somebody else is doing somethingreally well.
You people have a tendency sometimes, youknow, to get a little envious or jealous.
Remember, there's enough successto go around for all of us.
So I rather cheer for peopleand it's a good feeling to cheer them.
No, you don't know their story.
They just pop like I said it andjust all of a sudden become successful.
But cheer them onand you feel better about yourself
(20:14):
rather than trying to knock people down.
Knock people down.And we know people like that.
Oh, no, they probably know somebody.
Oh, they oh,they probably had plastic surgery.
You know, there's right
they want to rock, but they want ofor somebody works out really hard.
Well, they're probably just genetics.They were born that way.
No, I mean celebrate people's hard work,celebrate them.
(20:36):
Right? Right.
It makes a big difference.
It does. And when you complimentthat person, you probably made their day.
If you see somebody who's done very,very well, compliment them.
I'm very big on that energy flow.
Yeah, you do that, it bounces back.
It does.
Yeah.
Like a rubber ball puncture or boomerang.
Like a boom.
Like a boomerang out that echo.
(20:59):
Oh. Like in the mount.
Echo echo echo echo
you everybody I fired up today.
Joyce Farnam is fired up.
You know, my my wife saidit's a good thing that you don't do drugs.
Drink.
All right,
then you know, never have, you know, but,I guess you can count coffee as a drug.
You can't.
You technically, caffeineis that good because there a
(21:22):
I guess my grandson calls my Snapple a,
Right, right.
Yeah.
But what's your favorite drug?
Love is a drug.
Like the old song by Roxy Music.
Love is a drug that I'm thinking of.
Okay, so that one that
music.
Yeah. We were playing that song.
(21:43):
A player back in the daywhen you and I were there together.
Love is a drug.
There's another oneyou can look up out there.
Yeah. No.
Well I mean I apologize.
Everybody's watching and listening todaybecause I'm all over the friggin map.
I'm like you know squirrel duhduh duh duh.
So my wife says,can you focus on one thing?
(22:03):
You know, it's
yes, you can, focus on the positive.
Yeah. That's right. Yeah.
So what we say to people who say
that they're going through a realtough time and,
they can't seem to get to that, I think.
I think we should just empathizewith them.
The last thing people want to dois be judged
(22:24):
and this and that, say, listen,I know how you feel.
I felt the same way.
And I still do feel the same way at times.
But you just keep doing what you're doing.
If it feels right in your heartand it's something
you really want to go for and do it,you keep firing away and doing it.
B b bloom where you're planted.
When were you planted? Right now.
And even if it's not where you want to be
and be grateful for thatbecause gratitude is riches
(22:46):
and the more grateful you are,
the more good things are going to happenin your life.
I found that in my life.
But you know, let's face it,I mean, it's not all Pollyanna here.
There are days when I'm frustratedand I'm sure you are.
It's like, I wish something would happenquicker than this.
Or oh, man, I didn't see that coming.
Because, I mean, lifethrows your curveballs all the time,
but it's all about how you respond to it,you know?
(23:08):
I mean, everybody watching and listeningright now, you know, it's
we were never promised a free ridein this world.
You know, our maker said that,you know, you will have trouble, but
I will always be with you.
And there's always there'salways an escape hatch somewhere, or,
you know, whether we take it or not,that's up to us.
And what I've learnedduring my darkest times in life,
(23:30):
and there have been manyand that's where the richness is.
And I've learned to be quiet duringthose times, not complaining and just
going inward as to why this is happening,
whether it's an illnessI've been through or death.
(23:51):
It's just a time to get quiet.
And however you do that,whether it's in prayer
or reading or watching a movie,maybe crying,
even just,
there's there's a reason for that.
And that's where,
(24:12):
I think like these deep faith it
if even if faith could be a lot of things,it doesn't have to be, you know,
a belief in anything except,
things will get better.
Stays dark for ever.
Even people who've gone through.
(24:33):
I think the worst tragedyis losing a child.
Many of them rise up and start
foundations and charitiesor they support others
and they take that paintingand they use it for good adversity.
They take adversityand use it into an opportunity.
And then they,then they can bless other people.
(24:55):
So when somebody else goes thatthrough that horrible situation,
they can pat their shoulder or give em ahug and say, listen, I know how you feel.
I've been there and look.
And if you're in a really good place,I came out pretty good
because they say that every setbackis really a setup for something better.
You know?
Regardless, you may not see that whenyou're going through a tragedy you lost.
I mean, noparent wants to outlive their kids.
(25:18):
I never had kids of my own.
I have a beautiful stepdaughter.
But I have lost a spouse.
I know you've lost a spouse.
But. So we know what pains like.
But everybody watching and listeningright now is not exempt from that.
If you haven't gonethrough that pain, you will,
if you live,
if you'relucky enough to live long enough,
(25:40):
the downside is someone's gonna die.
Exactly.
And I celebrate every wrinkle,every this and that.
Because it means that I'm still alive.
That I'm still made it.
I'm still up today.
Yeah, yeah, I'm just like that.
Then I have days like, I'm getting,
Yeah. We all feel that way.
I feel them.
Yeah, yeah.
So I would say take a deep breath, relaxyour shoulders.
(26:05):
You remember every day.
And I have to rememberyou should do those breathing exercises.
The end of these podcastsevery now and then.
Breathing or the body exercises.
You belly breath.
Think like yourself, like a RaggedyAnn doll sitting in a chair.
And that relaxes all your musclesbecause you'll be surprised.
I am surprised to
how many times during the daymy shoulders start creeping up to me. You,
(26:29):
know, and it's not becauseyou're trying to do trap exercises either.
Ha! Hahaha.
Right.
Just, just relax your shoulders,take a deep breath, and know that this too
shall pass.
Yeah.
You know, I mean,I was working in a restaurant years ago.
Oh my gosh.
And the summers were really like chicken,especially down along the shoreline.
(26:51):
And we were working so hard and the owner,
was very Zen like a wonderful person.
And she said, remember, Joy,
you can't stop time soon in the eveningand you'll be home
and you'll be in your bed,and this will be over,
(27:11):
from this period, a lot of wisdom there.
I forget her saying, yeah.
So when I feel likeI'm having a rough day,
I then think about this day with so many.
Right.
And I would have made it through. Yeah.
And it depends howI want to make it through.
And those are the daysyou really look forward.
You look at that bedand it looks so good. You do.
(27:32):
You just get in that bedand you kind of put the pillow.
I mean, laying the pillow,put the blankets over your head
if you want,and then you wake up the next day.
And if it's a rainy day,the sun still shining.
Yeah. The sun's still shining.
We just don't see it at that point.
Know all the time that someone complains.
If you see those cloudsabove that sunshine, you look right.
(27:52):
Absolutely.
And we thank you so, so much for tuning inand listening again, watching,
you know, our show.
What's up with John and Joyce?
Please share it with somebody you thinkthat really needs, you know, pick me up.
It seems like so many people needthat nowadays.
And a lot of anger, a lot of divisiveness,a lot of pain in the world nowadays.
So we just fuel for 30 minutes each weekyou can come here
(28:13):
and, and get away from thatand share those with somebody.
Subscribe for free on YouTube.
But we're available in all major streamingplatforms.
And Joyce, as always, is a pleasure
hanging out with youand I pray for you and your family
and you know, and your families too.
Yeah.
Till next time. Bye.
Bye bye.
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