June 19, 2024 • 32 mins
Low Anxiety, Going Places
In this episode, I give a shoutout to Kevin for Montana info, share insights from Andrew Pulrang's Disability Thinking, and discuss prepping Dax Pierson interview questions. I also talk about my kids' haircuts, our neighborhood, music, therapy, hospital visits, and my recent solo trips and poetry publications.
Shout Outs
Shout outs to Kevin. thanks for the info about Montana. Kevin does comic book reviews on his YouTube channel Under The Cowl Of MS.
Disability Thinking
Now reading Andrew Pulrang's Disability Thinking Substack. I've always been partial to the combination of disability with thinking, the guy's been on another level for a long time.
Writing Dax Pierson interview questions. I have been lagging, trying to be recovered fully before doing the interview. I think it may be time to move forward.
I'll Gladly Pay Tomorrow For A Haircut Today
After months of hair drama, i took my kids to Supercuts and John's long hair was over in a moment. He was happy. With his new haircut, he's ready for summer.
I'm glad that our neighborhood is a protected cul-de-sac. It means the kids can play outside with the other kids in the neighborhood and there's hardly any car traffic.
New Music: Magic Fig, "Magic Fig"
Magic Fig. San Francisco psych band. I heard it reviewed at the KFJC staff meeting and I ordered it from the group's bandcamp page.
Cool new record – local band – insane amount of styles – dreamlike hooks – psychedelic SF – full sonic fireworks, Silver Current Label – over the top – combo Sid Barrett mixed with HR Puff n’ Stuff
KFJC Music Notes 6/5/24
24-Hour yogurt is smoother than 8-hour yogurt, go figure.
I went to the Express Care at the Eden Valley Medical Center bc my ear was feeling blocked, like it had somebody's thumb stuck in it. They prescribed Flonase and something else, and they've been making it easier to breathe through the machine
My anxiety is low, put fast away, like it's in the past. My talk therapist thinks it may be due to the EMDR therapy that we've been doing.
Excursions
I drove the kids to Foothill College where we went to KFJC and we hung out with Jack Tar and Good Karma before having snack on the quad, and then we drove to Hayward. In Hayward, we went to Burger King, a place the kids wanted to go badly after seeing the commercial a million times.
Territorial Expansion
The next day, I went to Oakland on my own. I've learned how to strap the wheelchair onto my car by myself. On Father's Day, I took the kids to Berkeley. We went to Amoeba Music, Moe's Books, Games of Berkeley, and had slices of pizza for lunch. My new expanded base of operations includes Oakland, Berkeley and Los Altos.
Acceptances
My ears were burning, my vibe was strong. Three poems were accepted for publication in two different journals. After a long gap, they were accepted in the same day by editors working half a world apart. It'll be my first time publishing my work in another country, and also my first time reprinting a poem. Stay tuned, you'll be the first to know..
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
Y y check, check check,
learn how to talk, learn how to eat,
It's going pretty
well.
Anxiety is low. The war on anxiety isn't
over,
but
it's in a good place. The place there
(00:21):
is not very
anxious.
The war or.
Anxiety.
Boom.
Exactly
the war on anxieties and over,
but it's
It's kinda moving on.
Last time, it was
skip the toy is a part of history.
(00:45):
There was some sleep getting around
in this
episode, I'm really getting
around.
I've continued you doing that. It's been good.
Hot sauce.
It's the best hot sauce Hop odd sauce.
(01:06):
It's the best sauce in the world.
The world
telling you.
Territory,
expansion,
the expanded
base of
operations I can get my wheelchair on my
car and golf
places.
(01:26):
And that is
really helping.
My therapist
told me you're an extra revert. You're an
extra revert,
and
if you don't get out and see people,
you're gonna get depressed,
and I'm not really
depressed, but it's true
(01:49):
that I'm not very happy
unless...
I I am happy
around people.
So I think it's fair what she says
that if I'm not around people, I'm not
really gonna be very happy.
So I can see that. I'm a people
(02:09):
person
and I like to get out there. And
Ms is a they met. Limits your mobility,
You know, in the very local. I have
un steady gate
So
everywhere I walk around, my gate is un
steady it. I walk
(02:31):
in a halting thing manner.
A stop
go banner their poor balance.
Sometimes
I get off balance and fall.
Quite often.
So
mobility needs a challenge. So when I wanna
go somewhere far,
I gotta use a wheelchair to get there.
(02:53):
Or else I use all my energy
trying to get there.
I'd rather get there and have a little
energy if I wanna get up and go
around.
So mobility
is a challenge, but I've been expanding my
mobility
because I have learned how to
(03:15):
put my wheelchair on and off my car
by myself, and I'm lucky that I have
that ability.
And I'm very thankful
because it means I can expand my operations
on my own,
You know, if I couldn't do that, I
would have to use
(03:36):
East bay, para
or
you know, there are some resources
to use the
rides share or buses
and
it's easier that I could go by myself.
But to be honest, I took...
I I went out to Oakland,
(03:58):
and I came back on bart, and I
rolled home.
Almost all the way home.
So yeah, I can't get around
independently,
there are transit
solution.
I'm thankful. I have a car. I can
load the chair on the car.
(04:19):
And I figured that out. It's expanding.
Territory.
I can go
places.
Yesterday.
I went to Berkeley. It was father's
day
my wife had to work to do and
I was happy. I was, like, I'll take
the kids berkeley.
Will go around. You know, they were happy.
(04:42):
They helped to me. They were proud and
happy to helped me, load my wheelchair.
Onto the car strap it down. I had
to check it. I wasn't ready for the
wheelchair to go flying off the car on
the freeway.
And adios.
So
I checked it. Checked all the tie downs.
(05:05):
It they were pretty good actual Lee,
I found a little, but very little. They
pretty much got it.
So they helped to me, Lee get my
chair on and off the car and that
allowed us to go several
places in that was gonna be complicated
because
(05:26):
I was gonna have to use my spoons
to use my energy. To try and manage
them, and I didn't have to.
Anyway, I got going hot here. Me territory
expansion. You are tuned into the what's the
matter with me podcast,
My name is John. I have multiple
(05:48):
sclerosis sclerosis tri j
Made this podcast
fisher when I'm going through.
I'm not a doctor and I hardly know
anything.
Don't believe this or listen to it. Basically.
I want to give shout outs.
Shout outs to Kevin.
(06:09):
Thank you, Kevin. Thanks for emailing me, Kevin.
A host under the cow of Ms.
It's a Youtube channel, kinda of podcast video
podcast.
Under the cow of
ms, Cow
C0WL.
Kevin is
(06:31):
from he, I'm not sure if he's from
Montana or he knows
Montana, and he heard the pot Cast, you
heard me talking about Montana,
and he gave me some info about the
state about parks and Where to go and
what to do. So shout out to Kevin.
(06:51):
Thanks for listening,
check it out under the Caliber mess on
Youtube Kevin.
Much will love stay cool.
So Andrew
Pull.
Out
disability
thinking.
I ran into this when I started,
I saw Andrew's
(07:14):
disability thinking.
He had the,
blog.
And now he does
disability thinking,
dot subs stack dot com. Andrew is a
disabled guy he writes for
forbes
He writes.
Disability podcast
popular
(07:34):
culture,
disable baby boom slash gen x hybrid.
Living in Northeast
New York
Usa,
former center for independent living
direct
hashtag
k the vote,
founder
forbes dot com
(07:55):
contributor
WWW
disability thinking
dot com.
Check it out. This guy kinda Andrew inspired
me when I first started this podcast
in like 2016.
He was 1 of the few voices
out there.
(08:16):
About being disabled then thinking about it. I
was going through it. So
check out his disability thinking
weekday subs.
I like the
combination of
disability and thinking.
Right? The guy is on another level.
(08:38):
It's good when people are out there
disabled people thinking
about a disability and
trying to process it and parse it. It's
good.
Dax pearson
is a disabled
musician.
I got his record a couple weeks ago.
(08:59):
We've had his record at k jc c
put out... Me see his disco discord murphy.
Heard Docked Pearson.
Born 19
70
American be musician from Oakland, California,
He has been a member of
subtle and 13 and God.
(09:20):
This is from
Dax Pearson
wikipedia page. Dax. Pearson worked at Ami ami
Music at Berkeley, California
for 10 years,
He has been a member of subtle and
13 and god.
In 2005
here
injured and let paralyzed from the chest down
(09:43):
when the sub tour van hit a pat
black ice in Iowa.
He released live in Oakland of rat skin
records
thousand 19,
that's in
the K
library
nerve bumps
(10:04):
came out
on dark
entries
in 2021,
and we just got that 1 you can
get it on bank camp.
So I've been writing questions for Doc. I'm
a little bit.
I was trying to recover from anxiety fully
before an interview to him.
(10:25):
And, you know, I'm a little intimidated,
but you know, because I've never met doctor
to now I'm wondering if I should go
and try and meet him in person to
interview, I'm probably gonna out to zoom with
him first.
And I was trying to recover fully from
anxiety, and it was really helpful
(10:47):
that my therapist
told me
kinda hitting me to the ideas that have
an ex and I have to get out
there
to be fully happy
and and I kinda vibe with that. It
made sense.
So I had a good time last week.
I missed my death. Mine because I was
(11:10):
with my kids. My kids brought a school
all last week. They weren't in camp.
So I was on dad doo.
I was doing all kind of things. We
had a great time. Now they're in camp
today is their first stay a camp.
While they were off school.
Anyway about Dax Pearson, I'm writing new its
(11:33):
questioned Tom a recovering.
It's working. I'm a little nervous
about it, but I'm a I'm gonna do
it. I'm gonna get docs. The first step
is to zoom with him. So I'm gonna
gonna get that going. I'm gonna write that
messy. I'm already in touch with with them,
So I'm gonna be like, here would let's
(11:53):
zoom.
And I have some questions. So if he
put to me on this,
spot, I can ask him
if he's like, interview me now, I can
do it, but I'm nervous, but I got
started out so I'm gonna write him maybe
be like dax let's
zoom.
So my kid they're off from school. They
(12:16):
weren't en camp last week. That's why I
wasn't in touch.
Because I was doing them from Thursday, the
week before Thursday was
graduation, and then I was with the kids.
So on Friday, the day after
graduation after all that hair stuff,
(12:38):
You know my son's been growing his hair
out, all year long.
Really hasn't been looking. It's best.
It looks like a super... It looked like
a super grown out
short haircut. So it's kind of a mess.
But I I kinda sympathize
with him. I grew my hair out long.
(13:01):
I realized I was... Doing it to support
him, kids were
picking on him, he was having a hard
time. So
anyway, the day after graduating
graduation.
I took the kids to super.
Both of them. They both wanted haircuts.
John anc Coco.
(13:21):
And
I took him this super.
He went first and his long hair was
over
like in a moment,
guard out the clippers and the lady gave
a nice haircut. He had, like, tan lines
from the hair.
A week later, it's all resolved, but it
was like, he was, like, kinda white on
(13:44):
his neck and the side of his face.
Because his hair has been like falling on
his face for a long time.
Anyhow, that was just over like that.
The lady
cut coco its hair.
She's with too short to sit in the
chair and get her haircut because it was
(14:05):
going down her back.
So she had to stand up
while the lady
cut her hair walking around her. It was
cute. But she just wanted eat her hair
even out because during ballet,
She had to only grow it and
no cutting. And so she wanted it even,
(14:28):
and the lady did that super cut they
were up to that. Last week, the kids
were around. They were riding up to the
neighbor towels to see if they could play.
There were some kids a couple houses
away and my kids go out there to
see if they can...
(14:49):
Play. If they're round I'm glad that there
our neighborhood
is a protected cold d sack.
And it's like there's 1... It's kinda extreme.
There's like 1 road in 1 road out
to this neighborhood,
And
so no 1 comes here unless they are
(15:09):
lost or making
deliveries.
So the kids can just play outside,
Though their kids in the neighborhood they ride
around, you know, they do... They go in
the garage and shoot nerf guns.
I'm glad that
there's not really ends in now it's in
our neighborhood.
(15:30):
And because it's getting to ride around.
And can't be like, go outside, get out
of here because a lot of times they're
like, no. I want you to watch me
like, I don't wanna just watch you roll
around. I want you to roll around.
Like Now
everybody's got a haircut.
(15:52):
I've got kinda like a bullet going on.
I told the lady I was like,
I wanna
look like an American guy who watches baseball.
She kinda looked at me and I was
like, I guess gave me a mu.
And that's where I'm at.
It's it's
(16:12):
subtle. It's a subtle. It is a bullet,
though, it's business in the front, and partying
in the back.
I love our neighborhood.
I went to Kfc
with the kids
I'll get to that, but I I was
tuned into the meeting Last
(16:32):
week, I always kinda
2NAK
jc. I reviewed. I've had these 5 records
for a long time.
And I reviewed them, we got them out
of my house. And at the meeting, I
learned about Magic
fig.
It's a San Francisco psych band. They're on
(16:53):
band camp. Magic fig their self titled
6 on record.
It's pretty awesome.
They added the at Kfc jc, so
I heard Dominic.
Tricks for reviewing it. He said it had
everything.
And I listened to it, Female, vocal list
(17:14):
kind of recalls
lady tron weirdly,
but the rest of it is like classic
psych band. I love it. And the vocalist
list is good actually.
Gay kinda grew on me. At first I
was, like, this is interesting.
Kinda of vocal not... This kinda
detached to vocal,
(17:36):
in a way that I I wasn't
expecting, but the whole band, the whole thing
is just really works. Magic, fake.
Recalls lady tron vocals,
only vocals.
Kind of this
almost
airy,
robotic airy
(17:56):
distant
vocal,
female vocal.
Check it out. My wife
started changing the way she makes the yogurt.
So like, the wave of of lady lady
tron, vocalist sings. It's very...
It's kind of
without a lot of
(18:17):
intonation it's kind of breathy
and long tones. It's smooth. And what else
is smooth 24 hour yogurt?
We started making yogurt
for years, we've been making it in 8
hour yogurt
overnight, but my wife accident
(18:38):
made 24
hour yogurt.
And it was smooth and good. It was
really good. I love the 24 hour yogurt.
So smooth. 8 hour yogurt is
is harsh a c
and tough.
And 24,
our yogurt is smooth.
(19:00):
So during the war on anxiety,
I went to the express care at the
hospital because my ear felt blocked.
And the lady looked at my ear. And
she's like, your ear, you know, ear wax
is kinda okay for you and you don't
have a lot.
So I was like, well, it feels blocked
(19:22):
and she was like, I think your eu
station tubes
behind your ear because when I chew, it
sounds like there's something in my ear.
And
she was like, your eu stationed tubes are
blocked up. You're having allergies.
(19:43):
They prescribed me slow knees.
And some pills and it's been helping me
breathe
at night through the machine
It's had this secondary
effect,
and that it was is helping.
That you know like, not being able that
whole breathing through a straw issue. That was
(20:05):
like, that caused me anxiety.
Now I got allergy
met vacation and it's bringing my anxiety down.
My anxiety id is low. It feels far
away and the in the past.
And my therapist
thinks it might be the Em
therapy that we're doing.
(20:26):
Eye movement
therapy.
I movement d
sensation
virtual therapy. I don't know what the r
is for.
And so you look back and forth. They
like, they play a video of a ball
going back and forth.
It's kind of like you're singing karaoke, but
(20:47):
the ball doesn't go up and down. It
just goes back and forth. So you just
watch it.
And think about
anxiety, but
I can't...
I I think of it. And it's like
I can't picture it It seems far away
the past. I told my therapist. She was,
like, I think it's the.
(21:11):
So I was happy with that. I've been
sleeping over 8 hours a night, like all
week for at least a week.
So I drove the kids to kfc, jc
c,
Jack Tar was on the air.
And so we hung out with him for
a second, but he's like always hector on
(21:32):
the air. He's hairy eating busy. I didn't
wanna be in the studio with the kids.
But I wanted them to see him
and going this studio
because Coco had never been. John John had
been 1 time, but he was like 2
years old.
So we went there. We hung out with
(21:54):
Jack tar for just a minute,
and then good karma,
1 of my... Favorite
post
pandemic new Dj dot k jc was there.
So we hung out with him and talk
to him.
And the kids went around Coco count 828
(22:14):
pieces of papers, staple to the wall in
caf Jc.
There's all kind of flyers and band thing.
So she was digging that, and I was
happy to, like, let them go around and
look around. I took them to the pit
where the bands play,
We saw the the studio where we make
(22:37):
production and
John in the Coco knew exactly what I
meant. And said, we make those ads here
and they were like, like the ones in
jay broadcast name from College I was like,
yeah. Those.
And so they were kinda putting it all
together in their minds.
We went out to the quad foot hill
(22:58):
college and they were having some Bob t,
student event and the kids that were watching
that while we had snack on the quad,
they had some cheese or something.
We walked around Foot hill college for a
while, and then we drove back, to Hayward.
(23:19):
This was the other thing the kids wanted
to do they wanted to go to burger
king. Could they've been seeing those ad during
their basketball game, b. K.
Having your way. And so they were in
for that. They wanted to go so fast
made they've seen think commercial a thousand million
(23:40):
times.
And it was good. Burger king it's fun.
The
Mcdonald
san lean,
they give out some vouchers
for Mcdonald's dot,
a home
services
organization in San Lean. So actually in the
(24:02):
San Lean,
Mcdonald's
are it's kind of full of homeless
people,
And it's kinda, you know, people will hit
you up for
to buy them stuff. And it's...
A little bit of an environment. Let's speak
a special particular
(24:24):
environment. It's So in a burger king, in
Hayward, there was none of that.
And you know, it doesn't bother me, I'll
go either way, but it was just
It was more
a peaceful
dining
experience at burger king.
And we talk about how the burger was
better, but the fries were better At mcdonald
(24:47):
there was the whole discussion
but they liked
the
little who.
They got... We all 2 of those and
they were good with the little Who.
Sorry, Not little who. What am I talking
about Who Junior here. I don't go to
fast food. Okay. Give me a break.
(25:09):
Who Junior, they were into it, the fries
are not as good as mcdonald's.
And the burger not as good as in
and out.
So we're kind of building our preferences,
but it was good for them to go
to burger came and wanted to go so
bad.
So I went to Oakland on my own.
(25:32):
My chair was in charge,
so I could only go limited number of
places,
but
I drove to Oakland.
I'm learning how to drop the cherry by
myself, the base of
operations includes Oakland, Berkeley, Los Alto,
it's bigger.
(25:53):
Yesterday,
I took the kids to Berkeley.
It was really fun. It was Father's day.
And
my wife had to work.
And and we were gonna have a my
buddy over
and grill hamburgers
for dinner.
So
I had a good thing coming to me,
(26:15):
but my wife had to work during the
day, and I wanted to get the kids
out of her hair
and plus I wanted to go out. I'm
an extra revert.
So we went to Berkeley and south side.
We parked to buy telegraph ralph by thai
house
and
they're the disables face there, and the kids
(26:38):
are like this. This is like our space
because I think we parked there before. And
I was like, yeah, it is.
We out the pla out. I took my
chair down,
and we were in Berkeley.
So we were gonna go to.
John had a request. I... I've had a
(26:59):
request to send a standing
request. Nearly every weekend.
Like,
let's go to.
And so I was like, I could do
it by myself. Let's go with the kids.
I'll take them.
John wanted to rage against the machine. I
wanted to go wreck or shopping.
(27:20):
He learned to rage against the machine
on Tony Hawk pro skater. I was like
fine.
Rage against the machine. He was stoked to
have it. And then Coco
wanted to buy another taylor swift cds,
So I pulled the lady out that the
(27:40):
cashier. I said, hey, my daughter
wants to buy her third taylor Swift So
Cd, and I don't wanna get her another
1
because that's all she has.
Last time we were here.
We got fiona apple for the same reason.
(28:01):
Title.
We got Fiona apple title for Coco.
And I... So I said, what can I
get back to where I got last time
we're get this time?
So P j Harvey,
she said, I was like, oh, cool.
So we got rid of me on Cd
there and
(28:23):
p Harvey
for cocoa.
So that's our taylor
swift debate and
swift,
then
the kids were kinda hungry,
and we were like, okay. Let's go... Could
do was noon.
And I was like, okay. Let's go
to fat slice. Well, fat slice is gone.
(28:47):
It's permanently
closed.
So I'm dating myself with fat slice, but
we didn't go. It's closed forever.
We went to another place called like artichoke
pizza,
and it it was fine. It was a
sliced place.
They made the slice where it was, like,
(29:08):
really like toast.
It was over
re... It was too cold that they reheat
it. Too much. So was, like,
dissolving cheesy oil mess.
It was good. And the kids loved it.
We got all they are fan
fun.
(29:28):
They call it fun.
And we went from there
to the games
shop.
You know,
I forget what that. It's called games
of Berkeley.
It's like a giant hanger in the back,
people play role playing games.
John started talking to some guys playing role
(29:50):
playing games
They're were so nice. I was like, oh,
my god, nerds.
It was cool. I I was like, this
is cool. This is different.
We got a kids
playing game, John got, a metal
building
model
of the Bay bridge and he built it.
(30:11):
It was cool. I was kinda surprised. I
thought he'd get frustrated.
But, in fact, he built this model. We
got the easy 1.
But he built it right away and he's,
like, ready for the next 1.
Coco got a rainbow
s,
then we went to Moe books and everybody
(30:35):
got a book and we went home. It
was cool. It was a cool trip.
Then we went home and
had a barbecue with my buddy who's moving
back to town after, like, a
So
lost weekend in Houston.
We had hamburgers.
(30:55):
They were good.
And then I got some poetry
accepted for
publication. I don't know how it happens like
this. This is how it happened last time,
but it's like months will go by. And
then 1 day,
2
totally
unrelated people will accept my poetry.
(31:19):
So it's like my ears are buzzing.
So poetry is gonna be published,
a couple different places.
Stay
tuned for that. Thank you for tuning in.
Sorry. I missed my deadline last week.
But the kids. Come on, The kids. Give
me a break.
(31:40):
Alright, man. Thank you for
Thank you for tuning in into the what's
the matter with me, podcast.
My name is John.
You can email me
J0H gen at
hop world dot com j o gen at
h o ppi PNW0LD
(32:01):
talk.
Send we email right you back. I'll give
you a shout out. It'll will be the
best.
Shout out. You ever got.
Thanks for tuning in. Catch you next time.
Y y check, check check,
learn how to talk, learn how to eat,
It's going pretty
well.
Anxiety is low. The war on anxiety isn't
over,
but
it's in a good place. The place there
(00:21):
is not very
anxious.
The war or.
Anxiety.
Boom.
Exactly
the war on anxieties and over,
but it's
It's kinda moving on.
Last time, it was
skip the toy is a part of history.
(00:45):
There was some sleep getting around
in this
episode, I'm really getting
around.
I've continued you doing that. It's been good.
Hot sauce.
It's the best hot sauce Hop odd sauce.
(01:06):
It's the best sauce in the world.
The world
telling you.
Territory,
expansion,
the expanded
base of
operations I can get my wheelchair on my
car and golf
places.
(01:26):
And that is
really helping.
My therapist
told me you're an extra revert. You're an
extra revert,
and
if you don't get out and see people,
you're gonna get depressed,
and I'm not really
depressed, but it's true
(01:49):
that I'm not very happy
unless...
I I am happy
around people.
So I think it's fair what she says
that if I'm not around people, I'm not
really gonna be very happy.
So I can see that. I'm a people
(02:09):
person
and I like to get out there. And
Ms is a they met. Limits your mobility,
You know, in the very local. I have
un steady gate
So
everywhere I walk around, my gate is un
steady it. I walk
(02:31):
in a halting thing manner.
A stop
go banner their poor balance.
Sometimes
I get off balance and fall.
Quite often.
So
mobility needs a challenge. So when I wanna
go somewhere far,
I gotta use a wheelchair to get there.
(02:53):
Or else I use all my energy
trying to get there.
I'd rather get there and have a little
energy if I wanna get up and go
around.
So mobility
is a challenge, but I've been expanding my
mobility
because I have learned how to
(03:15):
put my wheelchair on and off my car
by myself, and I'm lucky that I have
that ability.
And I'm very thankful
because it means I can expand my operations
on my own,
You know, if I couldn't do that, I
would have to use
(03:36):
East bay, para
or
you know, there are some resources
to use the
rides share or buses
and
it's easier that I could go by myself.
But to be honest, I took...
I I went out to Oakland,
(03:58):
and I came back on bart, and I
rolled home.
Almost all the way home.
So yeah, I can't get around
independently,
there are transit
solution.
I'm thankful. I have a car. I can
load the chair on the car.
(04:19):
And I figured that out. It's expanding.
Territory.
I can go
places.
Yesterday.
I went to Berkeley. It was father's
day
my wife had to work to do and
I was happy. I was, like, I'll take
the kids berkeley.
Will go around. You know, they were happy.
(04:42):
They helped to me. They were proud and
happy to helped me, load my wheelchair.
Onto the car strap it down. I had
to check it. I wasn't ready for the
wheelchair to go flying off the car on
the freeway.
And adios.
So
I checked it. Checked all the tie downs.
(05:05):
It they were pretty good actual Lee,
I found a little, but very little. They
pretty much got it.
So they helped to me, Lee get my
chair on and off the car and that
allowed us to go several
places in that was gonna be complicated
because
(05:26):
I was gonna have to use my spoons
to use my energy. To try and manage
them, and I didn't have to.
Anyway, I got going hot here. Me territory
expansion. You are tuned into the what's the
matter with me podcast,
My name is John. I have multiple
(05:48):
sclerosis sclerosis tri j
Made this podcast
fisher when I'm going through.
I'm not a doctor and I hardly know
anything.
Don't believe this or listen to it. Basically.
I want to give shout outs.
Shout outs to Kevin.
(06:09):
Thank you, Kevin. Thanks for emailing me, Kevin.
A host under the cow of Ms.
It's a Youtube channel, kinda of podcast video
podcast.
Under the cow of
ms, Cow
C0WL.
Kevin is
(06:31):
from he, I'm not sure if he's from
Montana or he knows
Montana, and he heard the pot Cast, you
heard me talking about Montana,
and he gave me some info about the
state about parks and Where to go and
what to do. So shout out to Kevin.
(06:51):
Thanks for listening,
check it out under the Caliber mess on
Youtube Kevin.
Much will love stay cool.
So Andrew
Pull.
Out
disability
thinking.
I ran into this when I started,
I saw Andrew's
(07:14):
disability thinking.
He had the,
blog.
And now he does
disability thinking,
dot subs stack dot com. Andrew is a
disabled guy he writes for
forbes
He writes.
Disability podcast
popular
(07:34):
culture,
disable baby boom slash gen x hybrid.
Living in Northeast
New York
Usa,
former center for independent living
direct
hashtag
k the vote,
founder
forbes dot com
(07:55):
contributor
WWW
disability thinking
dot com.
Check it out. This guy kinda Andrew inspired
me when I first started this podcast
in like 2016.
He was 1 of the few voices
out there.
(08:16):
About being disabled then thinking about it. I
was going through it. So
check out his disability thinking
weekday subs.
I like the
combination of
disability and thinking.
Right? The guy is on another level.
(08:38):
It's good when people are out there
disabled people thinking
about a disability and
trying to process it and parse it. It's
good.
Dax pearson
is a disabled
musician.
I got his record a couple weeks ago.
(08:59):
We've had his record at k jc c
put out... Me see his disco discord murphy.
Heard Docked Pearson.
Born 19
70
American be musician from Oakland, California,
He has been a member of
subtle and 13 and God.
(09:20):
This is from
Dax Pearson
wikipedia page. Dax. Pearson worked at Ami ami
Music at Berkeley, California
for 10 years,
He has been a member of subtle and
13 and god.
In 2005
here
injured and let paralyzed from the chest down
(09:43):
when the sub tour van hit a pat
black ice in Iowa.
He released live in Oakland of rat skin
records
thousand 19,
that's in
the K
library
nerve bumps
(10:04):
came out
on dark
entries
in 2021,
and we just got that 1 you can
get it on bank camp.
So I've been writing questions for Doc. I'm
a little bit.
I was trying to recover from anxiety fully
before an interview to him.
(10:25):
And, you know, I'm a little intimidated,
but you know, because I've never met doctor
to now I'm wondering if I should go
and try and meet him in person to
interview, I'm probably gonna out to zoom with
him first.
And I was trying to recover fully from
anxiety, and it was really helpful
(10:47):
that my therapist
told me
kinda hitting me to the ideas that have
an ex and I have to get out
there
to be fully happy
and and I kinda vibe with that. It
made sense.
So I had a good time last week.
I missed my death. Mine because I was
(11:10):
with my kids. My kids brought a school
all last week. They weren't in camp.
So I was on dad doo.
I was doing all kind of things. We
had a great time. Now they're in camp
today is their first stay a camp.
While they were off school.
Anyway about Dax Pearson, I'm writing new its
(11:33):
questioned Tom a recovering.
It's working. I'm a little nervous
about it, but I'm a I'm gonna do
it. I'm gonna get docs. The first step
is to zoom with him. So I'm gonna
gonna get that going. I'm gonna write that
messy. I'm already in touch with with them,
So I'm gonna be like, here would let's
(11:53):
zoom.
And I have some questions. So if he
put to me on this,
spot, I can ask him
if he's like, interview me now, I can
do it, but I'm nervous, but I got
started out so I'm gonna write him maybe
be like dax let's
zoom.
So my kid they're off from school. They
(12:16):
weren't en camp last week. That's why I
wasn't in touch.
Because I was doing them from Thursday, the
week before Thursday was
graduation, and then I was with the kids.
So on Friday, the day after
graduation after all that hair stuff,
(12:38):
You know my son's been growing his hair
out, all year long.
Really hasn't been looking. It's best.
It looks like a super... It looked like
a super grown out
short haircut. So it's kind of a mess.
But I I kinda sympathize
with him. I grew my hair out long.
(13:01):
I realized I was... Doing it to support
him, kids were
picking on him, he was having a hard
time. So
anyway, the day after graduating
graduation.
I took the kids to super.
Both of them. They both wanted haircuts.
John anc Coco.
(13:21):
And
I took him this super.
He went first and his long hair was
over
like in a moment,
guard out the clippers and the lady gave
a nice haircut. He had, like, tan lines
from the hair.
A week later, it's all resolved, but it
was like, he was, like, kinda white on
(13:44):
his neck and the side of his face.
Because his hair has been like falling on
his face for a long time.
Anyhow, that was just over like that.
The lady
cut coco its hair.
She's with too short to sit in the
chair and get her haircut because it was
(14:05):
going down her back.
So she had to stand up
while the lady
cut her hair walking around her. It was
cute. But she just wanted eat her hair
even out because during ballet,
She had to only grow it and
no cutting. And so she wanted it even,
(14:28):
and the lady did that super cut they
were up to that. Last week, the kids
were around. They were riding up to the
neighbor towels to see if they could play.
There were some kids a couple houses
away and my kids go out there to
see if they can...
(14:49):
Play. If they're round I'm glad that there
our neighborhood
is a protected cold d sack.
And it's like there's 1... It's kinda extreme.
There's like 1 road in 1 road out
to this neighborhood,
And
so no 1 comes here unless they are
(15:09):
lost or making
deliveries.
So the kids can just play outside,
Though their kids in the neighborhood they ride
around, you know, they do... They go in
the garage and shoot nerf guns.
I'm glad that
there's not really ends in now it's in
our neighborhood.
(15:30):
And because it's getting to ride around.
And can't be like, go outside, get out
of here because a lot of times they're
like, no. I want you to watch me
like, I don't wanna just watch you roll
around. I want you to roll around.
Like Now
everybody's got a haircut.
(15:52):
I've got kinda like a bullet going on.
I told the lady I was like,
I wanna
look like an American guy who watches baseball.
She kinda looked at me and I was
like, I guess gave me a mu.
And that's where I'm at.
It's it's
(16:12):
subtle. It's a subtle. It is a bullet,
though, it's business in the front, and partying
in the back.
I love our neighborhood.
I went to Kfc
with the kids
I'll get to that, but I I was
tuned into the meeting Last
(16:32):
week, I always kinda
2NAK
jc. I reviewed. I've had these 5 records
for a long time.
And I reviewed them, we got them out
of my house. And at the meeting, I
learned about Magic
fig.
It's a San Francisco psych band. They're on
(16:53):
band camp. Magic fig their self titled
6 on record.
It's pretty awesome.
They added the at Kfc jc, so
I heard Dominic.
Tricks for reviewing it. He said it had
everything.
And I listened to it, Female, vocal list
(17:14):
kind of recalls
lady tron weirdly,
but the rest of it is like classic
psych band. I love it. And the vocalist
list is good actually.
Gay kinda grew on me. At first I
was, like, this is interesting.
Kinda of vocal not... This kinda
detached to vocal,
(17:36):
in a way that I I wasn't
expecting, but the whole band, the whole thing
is just really works. Magic, fake.
Recalls lady tron vocals,
only vocals.
Kind of this
almost
airy,
robotic airy
(17:56):
distant
vocal,
female vocal.
Check it out. My wife
started changing the way she makes the yogurt.
So like, the wave of of lady lady
tron, vocalist sings. It's very...
It's kind of
without a lot of
(18:17):
intonation it's kind of breathy
and long tones. It's smooth. And what else
is smooth 24 hour yogurt?
We started making yogurt
for years, we've been making it in 8
hour yogurt
overnight, but my wife accident
(18:38):
made 24
hour yogurt.
And it was smooth and good. It was
really good. I love the 24 hour yogurt.
So smooth. 8 hour yogurt is
is harsh a c
and tough.
And 24,
our yogurt is smooth.
(19:00):
So during the war on anxiety,
I went to the express care at the
hospital because my ear felt blocked.
And the lady looked at my ear. And
she's like, your ear, you know, ear wax
is kinda okay for you and you don't
have a lot.
So I was like, well, it feels blocked
(19:22):
and she was like, I think your eu
station tubes
behind your ear because when I chew, it
sounds like there's something in my ear.
And
she was like, your eu stationed tubes are
blocked up. You're having allergies.
(19:43):
They prescribed me slow knees.
And some pills and it's been helping me
breathe
at night through the machine
It's had this secondary
effect,
and that it was is helping.
That you know like, not being able that
whole breathing through a straw issue. That was
(20:05):
like, that caused me anxiety.
Now I got allergy
met vacation and it's bringing my anxiety down.
My anxiety id is low. It feels far
away and the in the past.
And my therapist
thinks it might be the Em
therapy that we're doing.
(20:26):
Eye movement
therapy.
I movement d
sensation
virtual therapy. I don't know what the r
is for.
And so you look back and forth. They
like, they play a video of a ball
going back and forth.
It's kind of like you're singing karaoke, but
(20:47):
the ball doesn't go up and down. It
just goes back and forth. So you just
watch it.
And think about
anxiety, but
I can't...
I I think of it. And it's like
I can't picture it It seems far away
the past. I told my therapist. She was,
like, I think it's the.
(21:11):
So I was happy with that. I've been
sleeping over 8 hours a night, like all
week for at least a week.
So I drove the kids to kfc, jc
c,
Jack Tar was on the air.
And so we hung out with him for
a second, but he's like always hector on
(21:32):
the air. He's hairy eating busy. I didn't
wanna be in the studio with the kids.
But I wanted them to see him
and going this studio
because Coco had never been. John John had
been 1 time, but he was like 2
years old.
So we went there. We hung out with
(21:54):
Jack tar for just a minute,
and then good karma,
1 of my... Favorite
post
pandemic new Dj dot k jc was there.
So we hung out with him and talk
to him.
And the kids went around Coco count 828
(22:14):
pieces of papers, staple to the wall in
caf Jc.
There's all kind of flyers and band thing.
So she was digging that, and I was
happy to, like, let them go around and
look around. I took them to the pit
where the bands play,
We saw the the studio where we make
(22:37):
production and
John in the Coco knew exactly what I
meant. And said, we make those ads here
and they were like, like the ones in
jay broadcast name from College I was like,
yeah. Those.
And so they were kinda putting it all
together in their minds.
We went out to the quad foot hill
(22:58):
college and they were having some Bob t,
student event and the kids that were watching
that while we had snack on the quad,
they had some cheese or something.
We walked around Foot hill college for a
while, and then we drove back, to Hayward.
(23:19):
This was the other thing the kids wanted
to do they wanted to go to burger
king. Could they've been seeing those ad during
their basketball game, b. K.
Having your way. And so they were in
for that. They wanted to go so fast
made they've seen think commercial a thousand million
(23:40):
times.
And it was good. Burger king it's fun.
The
Mcdonald
san lean,
they give out some vouchers
for Mcdonald's dot,
a home
services
organization in San Lean. So actually in the
(24:02):
San Lean,
Mcdonald's
are it's kind of full of homeless
people,
And it's kinda, you know, people will hit
you up for
to buy them stuff. And it's...
A little bit of an environment. Let's speak
a special particular
(24:24):
environment. It's So in a burger king, in
Hayward, there was none of that.
And you know, it doesn't bother me, I'll
go either way, but it was just
It was more
a peaceful
dining
experience at burger king.
And we talk about how the burger was
better, but the fries were better At mcdonald
(24:47):
there was the whole discussion
but they liked
the
little who.
They got... We all 2 of those and
they were good with the little Who.
Sorry, Not little who. What am I talking
about Who Junior here. I don't go to
fast food. Okay. Give me a break.
(25:09):
Who Junior, they were into it, the fries
are not as good as mcdonald's.
And the burger not as good as in
and out.
So we're kind of building our preferences,
but it was good for them to go
to burger came and wanted to go so
bad.
So I went to Oakland on my own.
(25:32):
My chair was in charge,
so I could only go limited number of
places,
but
I drove to Oakland.
I'm learning how to drop the cherry by
myself, the base of
operations includes Oakland, Berkeley, Los Alto,
it's bigger.
(25:53):
Yesterday,
I took the kids to Berkeley.
It was really fun. It was Father's day.
And
my wife had to work.
And and we were gonna have a my
buddy over
and grill hamburgers
for dinner.
So
I had a good thing coming to me,
(26:15):
but my wife had to work during the
day, and I wanted to get the kids
out of her hair
and plus I wanted to go out. I'm
an extra revert.
So we went to Berkeley and south side.
We parked to buy telegraph ralph by thai
house
and
they're the disables face there, and the kids
(26:38):
are like this. This is like our space
because I think we parked there before. And
I was like, yeah, it is.
We out the pla out. I took my
chair down,
and we were in Berkeley.
So we were gonna go to.
John had a request. I... I've had a
(26:59):
request to send a standing
request. Nearly every weekend.
Like,
let's go to.
And so I was like, I could do
it by myself. Let's go with the kids.
I'll take them.
John wanted to rage against the machine. I
wanted to go wreck or shopping.
(27:20):
He learned to rage against the machine
on Tony Hawk pro skater. I was like
fine.
Rage against the machine. He was stoked to
have it. And then Coco
wanted to buy another taylor swift cds,
So I pulled the lady out that the
(27:40):
cashier. I said, hey, my daughter
wants to buy her third taylor Swift So
Cd, and I don't wanna get her another
1
because that's all she has.
Last time we were here.
We got fiona apple for the same reason.
(28:01):
Title.
We got Fiona apple title for Coco.
And I... So I said, what can I
get back to where I got last time
we're get this time?
So P j Harvey,
she said, I was like, oh, cool.
So we got rid of me on Cd
there and
(28:23):
p Harvey
for cocoa.
So that's our taylor
swift debate and
swift,
then
the kids were kinda hungry,
and we were like, okay. Let's go... Could
do was noon.
And I was like, okay. Let's go
to fat slice. Well, fat slice is gone.
(28:47):
It's permanently
closed.
So I'm dating myself with fat slice, but
we didn't go. It's closed forever.
We went to another place called like artichoke
pizza,
and it it was fine. It was a
sliced place.
They made the slice where it was, like,
(29:08):
really like toast.
It was over
re... It was too cold that they reheat
it. Too much. So was, like,
dissolving cheesy oil mess.
It was good. And the kids loved it.
We got all they are fan
fun.
(29:28):
They call it fun.
And we went from there
to the games
shop.
You know,
I forget what that. It's called games
of Berkeley.
It's like a giant hanger in the back,
people play role playing games.
John started talking to some guys playing role
(29:50):
playing games
They're were so nice. I was like, oh,
my god, nerds.
It was cool. I I was like, this
is cool. This is different.
We got a kids
playing game, John got, a metal
building
model
of the Bay bridge and he built it.
(30:11):
It was cool. I was kinda surprised. I
thought he'd get frustrated.
But, in fact, he built this model. We
got the easy 1.
But he built it right away and he's,
like, ready for the next 1.
Coco got a rainbow
s,
then we went to Moe books and everybody
(30:35):
got a book and we went home. It
was cool. It was a cool trip.
Then we went home and
had a barbecue with my buddy who's moving
back to town after, like, a
So
lost weekend in Houston.
We had hamburgers.
(30:55):
They were good.
And then I got some poetry
accepted for
publication. I don't know how it happens like
this. This is how it happened last time,
but it's like months will go by. And
then 1 day,
2
totally
unrelated people will accept my poetry.
(31:19):
So it's like my ears are buzzing.
So poetry is gonna be published,
a couple different places.
Stay
tuned for that. Thank you for tuning in.
Sorry. I missed my deadline last week.
But the kids. Come on, The kids. Give
me a break.
(31:40):
Alright, man. Thank you for
Thank you for tuning in into the what's
the matter with me, podcast.
My name is John.
You can email me
J0H gen at
hop world dot com j o gen at
h o ppi PNW0LD
(32:01):
talk.
Send we email right you back. I'll give
you a shout out. It'll will be the
best.
Shout out. You ever got.
Thanks for tuning in. Catch you next time.
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